The Love Blog by Vancouver Blogger Barbara Doduk

Mommy Blogging: 31 Weeks & Pink Ladybirds

2009-11-07T17:45:00.002-08:00

Okay, I went to work on Thursday and Friday because I was going stircrazy, and it is JUST A FLU. My boss was cool with it, and agreed with me, a flu is a flu.

The paranoia over H1N1 is pretty fucked up.

I have never been a "inject" myself with flu vaccine type of person. I hardly take over the counter "medicines" either. Doctors are more "guessers" than anything really. When I get sick, I take care of myself. Normally if I have a fever I sweat it out. FEVER is the best thing for your body. It is your body's way of killing the bad things growing in you.

The only reason I stopped my fever this time was because I know fevers are dangerous to the baby. Otherwise, I did what I always do when I get sick... rode it out. I'm still congested, and have a cough to hack up small bits of gunk from my chest. Really though, if I weren't sick I feel amazing.

On Friday I skipped my shift at the RAPS Cat Sanctuary. I just didn't think I would have the energy and good thing.

Instead I swung into Sears in Richmond to pick up my order. My crib mattress arrived, as did my Ladybird crib bedding and the Fisher Price Whale Tub. I got home up packed the crib and bedding and put it together. OH MY GAWD it is the most adorable thing ever. Lydia Jane is going to love her bed. I love her bed.

Today I've washed my bedding - after a week of being sick on my ass, I need CLEAN things. Kitties both left me hair balls this morning. LOL I did what I could but tried to not wear myself down. Fresh air is a blessing though. Windows open. Dishwasher ran, rugs washed now... floors swept and mopped. Dusted. Moved the living room around. Time to make the bed with the fresh sheets... Life is good.

[Whale Tub]

After, I will sit in front of the TV while dinner cooks, and watch Lydia Jane moving around in my belly. It is the most amazing thing to watch her rippling my belly and bumping around in there. I can't wait to meet her. I am so in love with this little girl all ready... I can't imagine how I could love her more but every day I do.

RAPS: Donate, Volunteer... or give LOVE

2009-11-06T17:00:00.006-08:00

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[Baxter]

I have been sick all week, and even though I slugged it through work Thursday and Friday, I am exhausted, and suffering sinus congestion and a nasty chest cough still. Sadly, I felt it best, for my health, to not go to RAPS tonight. I MISS THE KITTIES SO MUCH.

But I wanted to remind everyone out there the kitties are there year round, day after day, just looking for loves. If you can help in any capacity... they would love it, as would the Members of the Richmond Animal Protection Society. Members like me... so THANK YOU.

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[Olive has gone to a Foster home ! YEAH!]

RAPS needs FOSTER HOMES for senior cats.

RAPS has many beautiful, loving older cats that need long term foster care. Many of these animals simply need some tender care, and RAPS will pay for the veterinarian costs, while they stay with you. If you can provide a safe, warm and loving home for a senior cat, please contact RAPS at (604) 275-2036 to find out more information.

RAPS also has many loving animals (cats and dogs, bunnies and birds, you name it) for adoption at the No. 5 Road Shelter.

For more great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

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[Shelley]

The Richmond Animal Protection Society is open to visitors on Sundays from 1 - 4 PM. Bring treats for the kitties and laps for them to cuddle in. Bring LOVE.

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[Tulip the Bunny]

RAPS PUB NIGHT!
Friday, November 20th, 2009
@ Legends Pub & Grill
@ 6511 Buswell, Richmond, BC

To raise money for the courtyard drainage project.

Get your tickets now at the RAPS' Shelters or Thrift Store, only $14/person.

To donate silent auction items to help RAPS rescue animals, please contact Sonya at 604-275-2036.
It's always a fun time, a great way to meet the volunteers & staff and to raise money.

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[Salty]

The November RAPS Newsletter is now out. Please take a read of the stories about DOG adoptions, check out the upcoming EVENTS calendar, or read about all the various weird cat tails that some of the cats at the Sanctuary have.

Furthermore once again I'd like to remind you local readers, BOTH the cat Sanctuary and the No.5 Road Shelter are mainly run by volunteers, and RAPS is always looking for more volunteers for various shifts - please visit the link to RAPS BLOG for more details.

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Richmond Animal Protection Society (RAPS) is a registered charity that operates two shelters in the City of Richmond, British Columbia. The first shelter, on No. 6 Road in Richmond, is North America's largest cat sanctuary. At this shelter homeless and abandoned cats and kittens are rescued and cared for. Most of these beautiful animals would have otherwise faced starvation, injury, disease and an early death due to the many hazards in their environment. The cat sanctuary is currently home to more than 800 animals.

The second shelter is the City of Richmond Animal Shelter, which RAPS have operated since February 2007. In 2006, RAPS bid for and was awarded the city contract to take over operation of this shelter. By expanding to a second facility, RAPS now cares for a wider variety of animals including dogs, cats, rabbits and other small domestic animals.

In addition, the RAPS City Shelter runs a comprehensive adoption program to find the animals at this facility a safe and loving home.

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DONATE NOW:

I have made a personal pledge page to collect donations for RAPS. I hope to raise money for the charity through this blog. I have all ready donated, and donate monthly. You can set up monthly donations through CanadaHelps or do a one time gift. You can always pick one specific cat at the shelter to sponsor as well, there is a sponsor program (info available on their web site). If you are interested in adopting an animal, please contact RAPS directly.

Every bit helps.

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For great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

or read stories from another RAPS volunteer: Neko's Blog. Also check out the Helfer Wellness Fund Blog on the RAPS web site, for updates on the work the lovely Helfer sister's fund do for RAPS.

You can now also follow RAPS on Twitter.

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For more of my photos of the Cats & Cat Sanctuary please visit my Cat Sanctuary Flickr Photos.

Barbara.Doduk's RAPS Cats (2009) photoset

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Dona Nobis Pacem

2009-11-05T00:01:00.002-08:00

Today is BlogBlast For Peace

Please visit the Official Gallery @ Peace Globe Gallery to view all the submitted globes.

My previous Globes:

Peace Globe #1411:

Peace Globe #1039

Peace Globe #693

Peace Globe #38

Mommy Blogging: 30 Weeks and 1 FLU

2009-11-03T21:11:00.001-08:00

Yes, I am 30 weeks pregnant now, and yes, I have a flu.

I had a lovely Halloween. I went to my niece's birthday party, then took her to Holly & Matt's for trick or treating. I wasn't feeling 100% - I was tired and my feet were so swollen. I figured it had just been a long couple of weeks that were slowing me down. I knew my niece had been sick the week before, and Saturday my father wasn't feeling well and at the birthday party my brother told me he felt sick too. So when she was sick I too was exposed to whatever they were fighting and nothing could be done about it, but since I was tired but not sick, I figured I was good.

"10th Birthday Party"

However, I woke up Sunday with a fever (37.3 C). A cough in my chest, major sinus congestion and I have slept so much in these last days it is silly. Monday the fever hit 38.1 C, and I took a Tylenol. Which brought it down some, then in the middle of the night it went back up to 37.8 C, so I took another half Tylenol and went to bed. I was more concerned about the fever, and how it might harm the baby. I slept 1 hour at a time, got up to take my temp, and drink juice or water.

I didn't have the fever this morning. However my temperature seems lower than normal - all day the thermometer has been low. I am still exhausted, coughing and sneezing, and feeling like crap.

I was supposed to go for my check up tomorrow at the maternity clinic, but I figured they wouldn't be to happy to see me, so I phoned them to tell them I am sick with the flu. The doctor called back and ran down my symptoms with me, and she thinks it sounds like I could have H1N1, and recommended that I stay inside until Sunday. The doctor said if it is H1N1 I am contagious for 1 week after showing symptoms.

Great.

"I was the pregnant witch"

I didn't go to work Monday or today, I will call my work tomorrow and explain the latest. When I spoke to my boss today he didn't want me to bring my germs there.

I don't know for sure if I have H1N1, as I am not about to drag myself out of the house to get a test, but it is a flu.

Not the worst flu I've had mind you, just making me very tired. I've had to write this post in between naps over these last two days. I think the flu I had in January 2007 was WAY worse. I was delirious and out cold for long stretches with that one.

In any case, I am resting, being pregnant and sick is not fun.

My check up was rescheduled for next Wednesday, and sadly my Fibroid specialist appointment (that I've been waiting for so patiently) had to be rescheduled too. I was supposed to go on Thursday, now I have to wait until Nov 25th. GREAT. I want to know the deal with these suckers, but now I have to wait. So wait I will.

I am just happy Lydia baby is squirming and moving around a lot in my belly - which is a good sign. I'm trying to make sure I eat, as I have no appetite at all, and I need the energy, but it is hard to get up and cook stuff. I'm drinking a lot of juice, and screwing the GD. Even so I have still managed to do my gestational diabetes tests, and so far it's not bad actually. I guess because I am not eating much, the sugars in the juices aren't as bad.

Okay, enough of my blabbing on. But I want to just finally say BIG THANKS to Katie in Ottawa for going on my Babies R Us Gift Registry and sending me the diapers and the breast feeding poncho. It was a wonderful surprise to find on my door step on Friday. You rock Katie.

All righty, night night.

RAPS: November is Here

2009-11-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

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I have the flu, it has taken me this long to finish this post, sorry.

Friday night, I was at RAPS, helped a bit with the feeding. Thank goodness Tiffany seems to have it all under control. I got tired, sat in the big chair and was cuddled by Lincoln, Ella, Groucho, Noelle, and even Marmalade tried to get some loves. As I was about to get up to do can washing, when one of the young boys who work in another section came in to ask for help.

Tex has been adopted by the adorable Karen. Prior to letting a kitty go home, RAPS usually take them for a vet visit for a check up, isolate them to due de-worming (just in case) and anything else they might need. So Tex was in a cage, and when the boys went into it, he ran out. The boys had tried to get him back in, but got clawed. I was the only one around.

So I hobbled my prego self over to the little house, and found Tex underneath, in one of the split cages. Thinking about it now, I could have just locked him in there instead of worrying but at the moment I didn't think of it. I crouched down, and attempted to get him to come out on his own. No luck. So I moved in further, and I guess my movement scared him and he clawed my forehead. Three lovely bloody claw holes. At that moment however I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and under the belly and scooped him up and back into his cage. The boys said they hoped to be a "pro" like me one day. LOL

I took my bloody head back to the McCracken house, where Shannon had arrived. She asked if I was okay, and I was, just needed to clean my head, and I was done for the night.

Now don't get me wrong, cats don't normally claw, they usually have a reason and Tex was not happy being locked up, he isn't a mean kitty at all. In fact he is usually a doll, and his great personality is the reason Karen now has him at home with her.

Getting a little bite or clawed once in a while, or pee or vomit on you, or even a little ringworm fungus is a down side for sure to the volunteer work, but such things rarely happen, and are just a hazard of the job. If you love cats, it isn't a big deal.

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I also took a couple of cute videos. When I am feeling better I will get around to putting them up. In the meantime I did a few last week and you can see them on my YouTube, on if you are on my Facebook they are there too.

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RAPS PUB NIGHT!
Friday, November 20th, 2009
@ Legends Pub & Grill
@ 6511 Buswell, Richmond, BC

To raise money for the courtyard drainage project.

Get your tickets now at the RAPS' Shelters or Thrift Store, only $14/person.

To donate silent auction items to help RAPS rescue animals, please contact Sonya at 604-275-2036.
It's always a fun time, a great way to meet the volunteers & staff and to raise money.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

The November RAPS Newsletter is now out. Please take a read of the stories about DOG adoptions, check out the upcoming EVENTS calendar, or read about all the various weird cat tails that some of the cats at the Sanctuary have.

Furthermore once again I'd like to remind you local readers, BOTH the cat Sanctuary and the No.5 Road Shelter are mainly run by volunteers, and RAPS is always looking for more volunteers for various shifts. If you have time, love animals and want to help out for 2 hours a week (or more), please contact RAPS.

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DONATE NOW:

Every bit helps.

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For great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

Barbara.Doduk's RAPS Cats (2009) photoset

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Mommy Blogging: Kicking It

2009-10-30T13:11:00.001-07:00

Allrighty then. So I went yesterday morning at 8:15 to the Gestational Diabetes clinic for my check up. They said my numbers were really good and my current eating habits seem to be fine. We noted the few times it was a little above the norm, and why, which I had all ready seen was the two nights I had a soda pop. The two times I had a chocolate bar, it didn't make my glucose go up. So all seems good.

They said from here on out I only have to test my blood 2 or 3 times a day instead of 5. I go back in 3 weeks for another check up, to see how I am doing.

I guess as I get closer to the due date my hormones will interfere more with my insulin intake, and I have to monitor it until the end. Oh well. I bought 100 test strips, so I might as well use them, right?

Next week on the 5th - I see the FIBROID specialist. I am nervous to find out the details of my 3 lovely large tumors and what it all means for the birth and for me. I am not thrilled about surgery but I know it is pretty much the best solution, although I am hoping the tumors shrink after the birth. They should, but I know my body and think they were pretty decent sized before the pregnancy. Oddly, they haven't really hurt in the last while, and although I can still feel the largest one, it doesn't seem to be painful anymore. Fingers crossed.

Wednesday when I got home I found a box on my step, from NestleBaby. I had previously registered on their website, I guess this was a little thank you. It was a nap sack, sample of formula, and bottle, and a sample of boobie pads for breast feeding along with information. Nice.

I can't believe how many people have offered to give me baby stuff. I really truly do feel blessed.
I'll take anything and everything anyone wants to give me. LOL

My father is going with me to buy me the car seat. My grandmother got me a baby sling. I have the crib from my boss (which I assembled by myself).

I have bought the mattress and bedding (which arrives Nov 6). Everything is slowly coming together.

My car is driving me nuts.

My brother has been chasing the squealing noise it makes now for a few weeks. The last two nights I've sat in a cold garage with him avoiding my niece who appears to have a had a mild flu. Last night a 2nd used alternator was installed, and yup, squeal. We tested the loads, and found that the fan for the heating system makes her squeal. So he did a quick change and fiddle with that. High settings still make her squeal. SIGH

Then on top of that, we discovered the radiator is cracked. AHHHH!

It's getting chilly these days. The kitties know where to go to get butts warmed.

I am wondering how cold those floors will get. I like my suite but long term it isn't a place for a kid I don't think. We'll see. The construction of the new deck stalled, and they haven't done a thing with it. My doors are still full of air leaks. I haven't complained but I wonder.

It's Halloween weekend. The 26th was my niece's 10th birthday. She got The Beatles Rock Band game for Wii. I sang along helping her with the tunes. LOL

Tomorrow is her birthday party, and after is trick or treating and hanging at Holly & Matt's doing Halloween stuff. Should be a fun night full of kids on sugar.

BIG HUGS go out to my darling friend Jas - she lost her dad this week. Life and death are such basics of humanity but still, they are the things that rock our souls the heaviest. My heart goes out to her and her family.

Off to visit the kitties at RAPS tonight and give them loves and get loves and then I need to rest. These last weeks seem to have been filled with never ending days.

Love ya.

Mommy Blogging: 29 Weeks & Endless Tasks

2009-10-26T23:11:00.001-07:00

[Crescent Beach]

I will continue to blog as long as I can, I just know once little Lydia gets here I will be swamped.

So I am 29 weeks now. Lydia is a wiggling and kicking around in there more, or maybe I can just feel her more.

So far the Gestational Diabetes testing is going well. I haven't really changed my diet and it seems I am fine. 5 tests a day. 5 pricks of the finger a day. Out of the 20+ tests I've done to this point, only a couple have been a few points over what it should be. So I think by Thursday I might be able to show I don't have GD, and only have to do a few test here or there over the rest of the pregnancy to be sure. Thank goodness I have 80% coverage on my prescriptions through medical at work, because the test strips, the pee strips, and the lances cost me $30! That's after the 80% is taken off. Holy cow that is expensive stuff.

In other mommy duties, regarding my fur baby Bear Cat, well his swollen gland didn't go away after a week of meds, and I waited a week to see if it would clear on it's own. No dice. BIG BIG thanks to Lisa at RAPS for giving me another week of meds to blast him. It seems to be doing the trick. He sure hates that liquid medicine but I usually sneak it in him as he's laying down. Easier for a prego me to wrangle a 14 pound cat while he is snoozing on the bed. LOL

I am too independent. I assembled the crib all by myself this weekend. Granted it wasn't THAT hard. 5 big pieces to put together with 8 bolts. I used a chair to hold up the bottom in place. LOL I had a little trouble getting back up off the floor though. I must admit.

I ordered the crib mattress and that cute little bedding set from Sears. It arrives November 6th - look forward to pictures. My baby shower is coming up on the 21st.
I am registered at Babies R Us & TJ Kids and Sears. I haven't got to go on the sites and add every thing I might like, but if anyone out there wanted to know. Now you know.

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I notice now how many things are getting awkward. Leaning over the sink to wash my face is near impossible. My belly is in the way. Shopping carts at the supermart are a tad annoying, when I forget my belly and bump into those nasty "don't steal this cart" gadgets that you put your coin into. Who designed that!

I have also realized my car, my cute little sports car, is not practical for the future. I have been attempting to fix the squeal that appears to be an alternator issue, with not much luck. My family mechanic, has been monkeying with it for over a week now. I appreciate all the work my brother has put into it, but I'm frustrated that the squeal is still there.
I want to sell the sucker.

[A walk with Jas and the boys @ Crescent Beach.]

I have a hard time getting out of the car, it is very low to the ground. I have a hard time closing the big wide open door when I get in. As I get bigger I'm sure it will be even more a task. gawd forbid someone parks too close to the driver's door. A few times I've barely made it in.
I can't even imagine hauling a baby seat in and out of that tiny little back seat. It is not a car built for child seats. I have read the forums at the web site that is dedicated to my car, the owners there have successfully used the car, with car seats etc. But frankly to me it seems silly.

I am looking at trading it. Getting a 4 door sedan. Oh my.
I'll keep you posted on how that fantastical decision unfolds. I doubt I will be able to do it any time soon though. Time is running out. Plus I'd have to sell my car first to get another one, which leaves me in limbo. UGH. Decisions. Decisions. And you all know how I don't like to rush into my decisions. LOL

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I have decided to work to December 15th. My last pay-cheque. Then I understand it takes a month for the EI to kick in. Great. BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET. Thank goodness I am a wizard at it. Making a little go a long way is my motto.
Working out the details of my leave from work, preparing endless lists of how to do my tasks, and planning to help my boss as much as possible with the whole process.
On top of all that I am losing my mind. I think most people who know me, know I have a very sharp memory, and frankly I'm losing it. I am calling people the wrong names, I am doing things and forgetting what I was doing, today I spent most of the day trying to figure out who had paid a bill on Friday, a piece of paper I couldn't find, until my co-worker found it on top of the copy machine. LOL. Losing it completely.
I think really it is more that my mind is pre-occupied, too much rattling in there, and I am mindlessly going through routines, without recall.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALEXA (my niece) WHO TURNED 10 TODAY.

Birth of a Baby, Death of a Blog

2009-10-25T02:22:00.005-07:00

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I have been very busy, and it is only going to get busier for me.

Preparing for the arrival of my daughter Lydia Jane is my number one priority right now.

While at work I might snatch a few moments to clear my head of work, and post a bit on Facebook but otherwise, I don't find much time online. Most evenings I'm too busy, some nights I don't even get online at home, or if I do it is right before bed time just to check email or messages.

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My blogging anniversary is coming up next month, and basically it will have been 12 years now that I've ran a web site and kept a journal online. I've stopped and started I don't know how many times. All for various reasons, burnout, wanting privacy, being bothered by trolls, you name it. Earlier this year, I was pretty much winding up this blog, and had stopped personal blogging. Then I got pregnant and wanted to share my new experiences and started trying to keep updates. However, I know and I have always known that for me, this "blog" diary writing is merely a hobby.

[Edit: Here is a link to my web history, showing what I've been up to for those 12 years: http://barbaradoduk.com/?page_id=9]

I've enjoyed the many people I've met because of being online, and generally over all I would say over the last 12 years, most of my experiences have been very positive. The few negative incidents, a few bad apples, over the years have been annoying, but in the end, have taught me the true nature of some beasts.

But people are people. Me included.

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I've had occasion to mouth off my opinion or view, as I should be allowed to do, and that has not always gone over to well. Which is fine, we all can't agree and be exactly the same, diversity makes life more exciting. I don't always agree with other people's opinions either. Be it a disagreement over the validity of a web site like Facebook, or the cheese factor of a band, or the personal experiences that shape my opinions vs yours. Some times we all just have to agree to disagree.

But like I said, those times have been few and far between. My hot-head has learned to self-cool. Not much really gets under my skin now. I don't have time to waste on being sucked into useless drama. In relation to random strangers in netland or people in my real world. In a world of 7 billion people, I am just one, as are you, as are we all. In netland, we all are just 1's and 0's floating around. I learned to not take it all too seriously.

Knowing now that once my baby is born, (for a number of reasons) the blog content here at The Love Blog will probably grind to a near halt, is actually a wonderful feeling. I thought it would be a sorrowful thing, but I'm feeling... old. LOL I don't like that word because people usually thing it is negative to be "old", but I feel like I've "outgrown" this... whatever it is. Being "old" to me is a damn fine thing. I am mature, above childishness, priorities are more family, more real world and less party and frivolous "young" minded crap. I am still a kid at heart, sure, but not some hot-headed 20-year old running around in a world of drama... and thank god I am "old" if it means I am not bothered by those immature things.

My life has cycled through some pretty interesting phases. I am comfortable admitting these last 3 years were a sort of regression back to "party" fun time, after oh so many years of serious isolation, I suppose I needed it. I needed to get those last fleeting hurrahs out of my system. I knew at the end of 2008 I was heading back to the "old" me. I was back into the head space I was in when I got divorced in 1998. Back to being responsible, old, mature, reliable, practical, real and 100% me.

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I wish I still owned my townhouse, but I know I will one day get back to owning a place of my own one day. I know I'll get a nicer car one day. I know my life will be good, it all ready is, and I've built back up a lot of what I lost. I have also gained a lot of things I didn't have, like amazing friends and a renewed closeness with my family. Yup, I'm right where I want to be, and this blessing of a daughter on top of it all is such beyond anything I could have hoped for.

My time will be stretched when my daughter Lydia arrives. I will be overwhelmed with learning how to be a mom, on top of being single, and working and just living. I don't suspect it will leave a lot of room for sitting at the computer composing these types of thoughts.

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Besides, I really was done blogging anyway, wasn't I?

Should I stop Blogging? is a nice list of valid questions any blogger should ask themselves when they are faced with the a decision.

Most importantly to me, Am I getting personal satisfaction from posting? The reason I have always slowed down, or stopped, writing this blog - have been because the answer to this was simply - no. I often wasn't getting satisfaction from it.

Secondly, my goal was to blog for me, and meet new people online. I think I've done that. Exhausted that.

And finally, I just will NOT have time.

With the birth of my baby girl, my blogging days will end. Sure I might pop online here or there after her birth, but sitting around typing out posts just won't be any kind of priority to me.

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Also, I started my first web site in 1997 with the intent of sharing my creative writing.

In 1997 I had just wrapped up a creative writing course as an extra activity to get me inspired. I was meeting monthly with a group of other inspired fledgling writers, and the internet was a new avenue. It was not what it is now, that's for sure. I always included a journal as part of the site, and as the years flew by, the creative stories fell to the sidelines, and disappeared as personal "blogging" took over. Socializing online became a huge part of the deal, and I have reflected a lot on that in the last years. I miss being creative.

Knowing that prior to becoming pregnant I was on my path to jump starting my creative juices again by promising myself to paint again (I haven't painted since 2002 or 2003) but expenses had to go into more practical things. Motherhood will surely suck up most of my time and money, and believe me I am so excited for every up and down of it. I can't wait to experience the joy of watching my daughter grow, of teaching her, and guiding her, and playing with her. Every time I think of all the holidays and joys I have to experience now for the next years of my life, my heart expands.

My mother always went all out on holidays. We had pumpkin carving contests, we always dressed up for Halloween, and shared the fun and frolic. Christmas we'd try to out do one another on wrapping gifts and making everything sparkle. No holiday was without LOVE and care put into it. My mom made everything special. I cherish those memories, and frankly that was a big reason why to this day my mother is my very best friend in the whole world. I will do the same, I will make everything as special as I can. I want to give my daughter those memories, I want to give her that love.

At the same time, I want to make sure I finally feel complete. Which means finally getting back to being creative. No more wasting time, no more distractions, no more excuses. I will paint. I will write. I will be the best role model for my daughter that I can be. That is my priority.

She will be my #1 priority - and to be the best I can be for her - I know I have to be the best I can be - for me.

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Incidentally today is my 17th Accidental Birthday... I used to celebrate this day. I nearly died (frankly did die) on this day in 1992 in a head-on car accident. Thinking about it, I feel even more certain, that that was my wake up call. I was lost at 19, and fumbling aimlessly, really just hurting myself. That accident drastically changed the course of my life.

I have struggled HARD these last 17 years to find me. To finally love myself. I think I have found myself. Sure of it, I have never felt so grounded, so certain, so at peace.

At the beginning of this year, I knew I had reached that tipping point. I proclaimed - this was my year. I devoted myself to a cause near and dear to my heart (RAPS) and to developing real relationships with everyone important to me, friends and family alike. I focused on being "old", "grown up", "mature" whatever you want to label it... "adult". I threw aside the frivolous meaningless things that wasted my time and energy. I changed the negatives to positives. I filled my life with joy, happiness and love... and in return, I was given this gift... this blessing of joy. This life in my belly, my daughter, my Lydia Jane.

It was another totally unplanned for "accident" that changed the course of my life. Changed it perfectly. And with perfect timing. I knew who I wanted to be, and the universe, gave me this little girl, this pure LOVE... because it was time. I am ready. I am no longer lost. With her - I am finally completely found.

I'm a big kid at heart, and I know I will love every moment of motherhood. I have no time for that life that I willingly left behind last year. The universe knew that that was "caterpillar me"... and this... this is "butterfly me".

Watch my wings unfold. Watch me dance in the sky.

We say hello - to life.
I say goodbye - the past strife.

All I need is this LOVE.

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RAPS: Meow Meow Meow

2009-10-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

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Autumn has certainly arrived.

Another Friday night at the Cat Sanctuary. It was pouring rain, and the kitties were pretty much all hidden inside dry spots. I stopped first in the New AIDS section, it's a little house, and everybody was pretty much inside (some were out on the covered porch) and I got to snap pictures of just about everyone.

The main entrance courtyard was empty, only a few brave kitty under sheltered spots were about. I looked out back at the back courtyard and noted the same. Everyone was cuddled up inside away from the rain.

[Birdy & Psyche]

Tiffany (the high school student doing volunteer work for school) had arrived early again this week, and was pretty much done all the feeding when I arrived. So I chatted with her, Lisa and Doug. Then the poop-scooper Shannon and her man Patrick arrived. She brought chicken for the kitties and gave me a chunk to feed to them. Them kitties love warm fresh chicken.

I snuggled kitties, I feed them chicken, I took pictures, and even played with a few with the laser pointer. Then I went home.

[Owl & Lincoln #2]

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[R.I.P. Mama Kumar]

Sadly RAPS often sees its kitties get old or sick, and the inevitable happens, and we say good-bye to a little fur friend. I don't always hear about it right away, but last week thanks to Neko's Blog I was informed a lovely one eyed girl named Mama Kumar, that normally resided in the McCracken House where I do my feedings, had passed on. I knew she wasn't well, as she'd been isolated in a medical cage area and we were attempting to encourage her to eat. She will be missed. R.I.P. little fur darling.

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[Xander]

RAPS PUB NIGHT!
Friday, November 20th, 2009
@ Legends Pub & Grill
@ 6511 Buswell, Richmond, BC

To raise money for the courtyard drainage project.

Get your tickets now at the RAPS' Shelters or Thrift Store, only $14/person.

To donate silent auction items to help RAPS rescue animals, please contact Sonya at 604-275-2036.
It's always a fun time, a great way to meet the volunteers & staff and to raise money.

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Helfer Wellness Fund

Thanks to the generosity of Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica actress) and Tara Helfer, this fund was founded to help the Richmond Animal Protection Society ensure that homeless cats can receive the medical care they need. When cats have no one to care for them, medical problems can build up. RAPS rescues many of the animals from the street, and thanks to the Helfers, these animals will receive the veterinary care they require. RAPS would like to honour the Helfers for their generous donations.

Please check out the blog about the Helfer Wellness Fund, and for stories about the cats they have helped, like Fergus (pictured above).

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DONATE NOW:

Every bit helps.

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For great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

Barbara.Doduk's RAPS Cats (2009) photoset

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Mommy Blogging: Check out my Crib

2009-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Okay I haven't set it totally up yet - I just ordered the mattress and this cute little bed spread. But it will look good when it is done.

My boss gave me a crib, and I got the missing bolts from Stork Craft. My co-worker picked up the parts for me on one of his delivery trips. Don't I have amazing people surrounding me?

This is the crib (the style) my boss gave me:

I bought this cute Ladybird Crib Bedding Set:

I adore the pink lady bugs and butterflies.

When I get it, and the crib all set up, I will post a picture of my actual crib arrangement. :)

For now Lydia will be staying in the bedroom with me, thankfully I have big bedroom and the crib fits in there nicely.

The Dendera Zodiac

2009-10-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

Originally posted on my blog Monday, August 08, 2005 but I thought I'd re-post it because I got sucked into reading about this last night and still find it fascinating.

Dendera (also spelled Denderah), is a little town in Egypt. Located about 5 km up Nile from Qina, on the opposite side of the Nile. Once the capital of the 6th Nome of Upper Egypt, though never that important.Located rather isolated on the desert edge, about 2.5 km south-west of the Town, lay what Dendera is known for, the mostly Greco-Roman Temple Complex, Dendera, known in ancient Egyptian as Lunet or Tantere.and

Dendera Temple complex, (Ancient Egyptian: Lunet or Tantere). located about 2.5 km south-west of Dendera, Egypt. It is one of the best, if not the best, preserved temple in all Egypt. The whole complex covers some 40.000 square meters and is surrounded by a hefty mud brick enclosed wall.Dendera was a site for chapels or shrines from the beginning of history of ancient Egypt. It seems that pharaoh Pepi I (ca. 2250 BC) built on this site and evidence exists of a temple in the eighteenth dynasty (ca 1500 BC). But the earliest extant building in the compound today is the Mammisi raised by Nectanebo II – last of the native pharaohs (360-343 BC)The main features are the Temple of the birth of Isis, Scared Lake, Sanatorium, Mammisi of Nectanebo II, Christian Basilica, Roman Mammisi, a Bark shine, Gateways of Domitian & Trajan and the Roman Kiosk – but the all overshadowing building in the Complex is the main temple, namely Hathor temple.and the Dendera Zodiac came from there...

Original Dendera's Zodiac is placed in museum in Louvre, Paris. Copy of this zodiac is in Dendera.Persons, animals, signs which are inside of zodiac are celestial bodies as planets, Sun, tenth planet (X), constellations...They can also simply show directions and shapes of orbits of planet X, when these one is crossing or is to near to orbit of particular planet of our solar system.Circumpolar constellations of southern sky are completely visible only from southern hemisphere (from Southern America, from Australia...).

After detailed analysis of signs and of constellations was clear, that in central part of Dendera's Zodiac are depicted constellations, which are surrounding southern pole of sky, that there are southern circumpolar constellations. Planet X had over turned Earth at its approach and it was written to zodiac.North pole became South pole and vice versa. I suggest you click the quoted text above and read all that is there... it really is an amazing thing.further more, Hathor contained The Dendera light is a controversial stone relief located in the Hathor temple at the Dendera Temple complex. The image is thought to be, by traditional egytoplogists, of a mythological religious nature. These scholars state that this is a lotus flower, spawning a snake within. Other egytoplogists believe that it is an electric lamp. Engineers have constructed a working model based on the relief and some authors (such as Peter Krassa and Reinhard Habeck) have produced a basic theory of the device's operation .

Mommy Blogging: Gestational Diabetes

2009-10-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

Gestational Diabetes happens during pregnancy. The amount of draw the baby puts on momma, makes it harder for mama to make enough insulin to absorb the glucose in her blood. Creating high glucose in the blood stream of momma.

I went for my 1 hour GT test and was told I was "a little high" so I had to go for the 3 hour test. I had to fast for 10 hours before the test. Which was hard. On Monday they called to tell me my results were "a little above the level". And so I had ot go on Wednesday to the GD clinic to get my blood testing kit, and do an informational with the dietitian.

So for the next week (next appointment is the 29th) I have to do 5 blood tests a day.

I prick my finger, and use the handy little Freestyle Lite to check my levels.

My results at the 3 hour test were as follows:

Pre-test: 5.8 (should be below 5.3)
1 Hour: 10.8 (should be below 10.0)
2 Hour: 8.4 (should be below 8.6)
3 Hour: 8.4 (should be below 7.8)

As you can see it isn't really high above normal but considering the health risks for both me and baby, it is better to monitor it and get it under control.

The two main risks GDM imposes on the baby are growth abnormalities and chemical imbalances after birth.

I've actually been really good about what I am eating. Sure those first months I pigged out, can you blame me? I was under a tremedous amount of stress, and to avoid getting sick I ate. I put on 15 pounds just in those first months alone. I know since then my weight gain has been steady and normal. If I hadn't packed on those 15 pounds of stress weight (as I call it) I would be on target for normal weight gain.

So yah, I need to do a little more exercise (more walks, and I got a stepper now too) and eat a little more protein.

I've created a logbook to write down what I am eating every day, so that they can target what could be causing the problem.

Gestational diabetes generally resolves once the baby is born.

Any diet needs to provide sufficient calories for pregnancy, typically 2,000 - 2,500 kcal with the exclusion of simple carbohydrates.The main goal of dietary modifications is to avoid peaks in blood sugar levels. This can be done by spreading carbohydrate intake over meals and snacks throughout the day, and using slow-release carbohydrate sources—known as the G.I. Diet. Since insulin resistance is highest in mornings, breakfast carbohydrates need to be restricted more.

I think I will do well. So far today my morning "before breakfast" test was 5.6 (should be lower than 5.3) but my "1 hour after breakfast" was 6.9 which is lower than the required 7.8) and my "before lunch" reading was 5.1 which is lower than the 5.3 requirement.

So far so good.

Tomorrow will be the hard day, with the night at RAPS which throws off my eating pattern, but I will make a meal to eat before I go to RAPS this time. Normally I would eat something small and then a big meal eat after my shift. Which probably wasn't good.

Anyway I am positive this will correct itself.

Mommy Blogging: Bloodlines

2009-10-21T16:44:00.005-07:00

I've had a lot of talks with my family and friends about "what if" the sperm donor Paul turns up wanting to be a part of my daughter's life, once she is born.

First off, I call Paul the "Sperm Donor" because basically, that is all I consider him now. I know it sounds bad, but frankly I don't care, that is what he basically chose to become. Although he claims otherwise, he can not take back all the horrible things he said.

When Paul told me that day, that:

"He only wanted to have children with a woman he was in love with and married to, and that he was not in love with me, never wanted to marry me and surely didn't want children with me.. so he was hoping I would miscarry or it would ruin his life."

Pretty much from that moment I knew he was out of the picture.

I spent until July, trying to deal with his constant insults, and him telling me over and over I was ruining his life by having this child of mine.

I believe in family, and even if Paul hated me for "us" getting accidentally pregnant (he took no responsibility in it by the way, accused me of doing it purposely) - I still felt I had to try to make us friends at least, because I believed a child needs a father.

I put up with A LOT of terrible behavior from him in our relationship (and I have all the proof of it) and more terribleness during those months until July.

That's when finally I said, enough. The stress Paul was bringing into my life was beyond reasonable - and for what? He made it clear he was only doing "what was right" because of pressure to do so. He didn't even want to tell his parents because he knew they would "force" him to "do the right thing" when all he wanted to do was be a wanna-be rock star and get laid.

I've had amazing peace in my life since then. Not having his constant bullshit to deal with, these last months have been bliss.

Thankfully Paul has obeyed the "order" to not contact me.

Yet on Monday morning this week, I received an email from his sister.

She was was apologizing for the nasty round of comments, that occurred in July between her and I - just after I cut off contact with Paul. She apologized for the threat her husband-to-be wrote - to not only me, but my brother. However - I explained my situation to her, and I think she understands.

She is sorrowful that she will not get to be an auntie to my daughter, and that her son will not know his cousin.

It is sad - believe me - it is NOT easy for me to make this choice - but it is for the best.

I informed her that I could NOT allow her or other members of his family to have contact with my daughter, because it would eventually allow Paul to weasel into the picture too. I can't allow his abuse back into my life, specially not into my daughter's life.

Frankly, Paul made it clear to me, that he wanted nothing to do with this whole situation, and I intend to make sure he gets what he wanted.

I know Paul told lies during our relationship. I know he cheated on me. I know he used me. I know all the bullshit abuse I put up with. So do those closest to me, they know the truth - they were there living through it - with me. I gave him more than enough chances to be a better man.

He failed. He failed massively.

His family were not there, they live 5 hours away. As much as I loved Paul and his family, we never really saw his family, they didn't call, he was not close to them.

I am not going to drive 5 hours to show them my child, and I don't get the impression they ever come to Vancouver. So really, even IF I was to say it was okay for his sister, or parents to meet my daughter, would they even bother?

If I let his family in, then they would put "pressure" on Paul to see his child and "do the right thing" which he clearly never wants to be a part of in the first place. He has made it abundantly clear he hates me.

I know Paul has told people some "sob story" to make it seem like I am hormonally "insane" - which is Paul's standard practice. He charmed me with his sob story about his ex-Michelle when we met in 2006. I'm sure this new "sob story" gets him sympathy (read as: gets him laid) but like I said, the truth is far from whatever he claims.

It is funny timing, because in my heart I wanted to believe the version of Paul that I met in 2006 and got to know until 2007 - was real. I wanted to believe that person (the man I was in love with) truly existed and would come back. I had even said to a girlfriend, that I would be terribly torn if he just showed up while I was giving birth or just after, because my heart was still broken and torn over the two versions of him I know.

In my head though, I knew he was not the man he had pretended to be. I said to my girlfriends that I truly didn't believe Paul would ever show up, because having a baby does nothing for his wanna-be rockstar dreams. The real Paul - he was the man I lived with from 2007 to 2008. The real Paul was the spiteful hateful man that selfishly said he hoped my child would die, so that HIS life was not ruined.

Getting the emails from his sister over Monday and Tuesday only solidified my choice to cut Paul out completely. It affirmed to me that right now, I am doing what is right.

It was emotionally draining for me to deal with.

I am a big believer in family. My daughter has even brought me closer to mine. It is the HARDEST thing for me to decide, that Lydia will not know her blood family simply because of her father. I wish Paul had been a better man. I accept the fault for sticking it out with him, it was my blindness due to being so in love with him. Yet, I know in my heart and mind now, 100% for sure, we will be better off without him ever in our lives.

I doubt anything will ever be able to change that either.

In the future as she grows up, I know she'll have questions. I've read a lot about it, and how to handle it. I will never lie to her about the truth. I will allow her, when she is old enough, to make the choice about that side of her genes. Until then, for now this is what is best for me. I will be the number one person in her world, and the last thing she needs to see is her mommy being emotionally abused, and god forbid physically abused. I have to be a role model to her, and I will not ever allow anyone treat me the way he did.

Besides, time will tell what happens in the end won't it. Fate will be, whatever it is meant to be.

I watched a movie on TV the other day, called Sliding Doors. It stars Gwyneth Paltrow and it is a story about fate. The movie follows her character on two paths of life. "What if" she had missed the train and not "caught her cheating boyfriend in bed with his other woman" and the other path of "what if" she had caught the train and "caught" him. John Hannah stars in the movie, as the man she is destined to eventually met, either way. It really hit home to me, that no matter what path we find outselves on, it turns out as it should.

I know I was meant to have this daughter of mine.

My number one priority in the world - is her, and always will be. Sure I would love to meet my John Hannah. As much as I am still broken hearted, and "afraid" to ever even consider "love" or a "relationship" let alone even the concept of "dating" again - I still believe in love.

I know one day, I'll step into an elevator and some handsome Scottish bloke will say,

"Cheer up, you know what the Monty Python boys always say... "

And I will respond,

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

[Edit: I found the movie on YouTube so you can watch it.]

[Additional October 22: I have given his sister 2 options regarding the situation, and told her it is up to her to proceed. After all, she contacted me in the first place. I am not a cold-hearted person, and want what is best for me and my child.]

Audio Addict #103 : The Sundays

2009-10-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

I thought since I have been addicted to music since I was a kid I would add a feature here that will allow me to reflect on the favourite music through out my life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The Sundays were an English alternative rock group. The band, formed in the mid-1980s, released three albums in the late 1980s and 1990s. Their music is characterized by singer Harriet Wheeler's dreamy voice, David Gavurin's rich and jangly guitar sound, and suspension-rich harmonies.

I fell in love with her voice immediately when I heard it. I must have listened to these albums 100's of times. I regret I never got to see them in concert.

The Sundays were widely heralded by the British press after early gigs in London in 1988, drawing comparisons with Cocteau Twins and The Smiths.

"Here's Where The Story Ends" (1990)

The group's first single, "Can't Be Sure", was released in 1989 and was voted number one in John Peel's Festive Fifty that year.

The band achieved a measure of success in 1990 with its debut album, Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, which went gold in the UK and U.S.

"Goodbye" (1992)

I vow that it's goodbye
to the old ways
those stories were a good read
they were dumb as well

Subsequent albums Blind (1992) and Static and Silence (1997) also went gold in the United States.

"Wild Horses (Cover)" (1992)

Their version of the song "Wild Horses" was used as the last dance song at the Prom in the popular '90s TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was also featured on the first released soundtrack for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and in the movie Fear with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg during the roller coaster ride. It was also featured at the end of the season 3 CSI episode 'Crash and Burn'. It was also used in a long-running Budweiser television advertisement in the early 1990s, featuring slow-motion footage of galloping Clydesdale horses.

"Love" (1992)

just love yourself like no one else
time's so scarce where I come from
let them say what they like cos they still can't take your love

The band has been on a lengthy hiatus since the release of Static and Silence. Wheeler and Gavurin are focusing on raising their two children.

Mommy Blogging: 28 Weeks & 2 GTT Tests

2009-10-19T15:20:00.001-07:00

Last week I had to go to have more blood work done, 8 am at the Vampire lab, then upstairs to the Mat Clinic for a check up.

I had to do the 1 hour GTT test. Drink this orange sugar drink, wait an hour, and they suck my blood. Right after I was upstairs checking in at the Mat Clinic.

Weight... ugh all ready! Yes well, so what. I little extra flab, 3 big painful fibroids... what do I care if I've all ready put on 35 pounds and still have under 3 months to go. I am not worried about it. Who do I have to impress? My daughter will love me. My family loves me. My friends love me.

Being sick for the last 2 weeks hasn't helped either.

Pee in a cup, do the protein and sugar test strip. Naturally just having done the GTT test so my glucose was between the 100 - 150 mark. Wait... wait... wait. Doctor is distracted elsewhere. Finally after informing them my parking meter had expired, the doctor is called over to finally spend his five minutes on me. I'm a little miffed but just want to get out of there. I can't miss a lot of work and the doctor visits are becoming more and more.

Blood pressure, yup normal 120/80. How am I feeling? Fine. Measure the belly. The doctor says, "Holy that fibroid is huge." Thanks doc. Yes, I can feel it too, it hurts, it is pushing up on my ribs and lungs and you can even sorta see it bulging out of me, underneath my right breast, above the baby belly.

Still, you'd think the doctor would be a bit more cool about not exclaiming shock over the size of the damn thing. I'm trying my damnest not to stress about the 3 massive fibroid tumors growing inside me along side my daughter. Anyway, he listens to Lydia's heart beat. All seems good. See you in November.

In November I also go see the fibroid specialist. My mom is coming with me. She is my second set of ears. I still am clueless as to how things will go with these suckers. Whether it means I will have to have a C-section or not, or how soon after the birth of Lydia I will have to go back for surgery to remove these lovely tumors that have clearly been the cause of all my problems, all these years. I'm trying to be patient because what else can I do, but think positive.

After all, fact is women have healthy normal births all the time with these ugly suckers, and I am sure everything will be good. Sure it might mean Lydia is born a week or two early, but hey, that just means I get to meet her sooner.

Well the next day after my 1 hour GTT test they called to say the result was "a little high", whatever that meant, and asked if I could come to do the 3 hour test. UGH

So Friday night, after the feeding of RAPS cats, I went home ate a nice meal, and had my last snack and drink at 930 PM. I had to fast at least 10 hours prior to the test. So I went to bed.

I got to the Vampire lab at about 840am on Saturday morning. They sucked my blood and gave me another super sugary orange drink, which I chugged down. Let's get it over with.

1 hour later, the vampire sucked my blood. I informed them I am not good with needles, I get anxiety from it, and it can cause me to get dizzy. So they let me lay down for each blood draw.

2 hours later, another needle. I read a baby book between. Restless in those uncomfortable chairs. Should have brought my iPod. Oh well.

3 hours later, final blood sucking. She missed the vein. I get squirmy. Another lady comes in to wiggle the needle in my arm, looking for the vein. I get even more squirmy and start breathing in and out to keep from wigging out. They ask me if I'm okay, and I say, "Yup, just starting to panic, let's get her done." Oh there it is. Needle in, blood out. ALL DONE. Here's some water. It's noon.

I'm starving and Lydia is kicking the heck out of me. She kicks a lot when I am hungry, she's hungry too I guess. So I rush home and eat a nice big lunch and drink a lot of fluid. I'm exhausted though, 15 hours with nothing to eat or drink was hell.

Today, they called to tell me the results. Great. Only one of the blood tests was normal, the others were slightly high. So I have Gestational Diabetes.

So now I have to make another appointment with another clinic to monitor it.
UGH.

Then on top of all that, the bearing in the alternator on my car is squealing. My brother replaced the belt thinking it might be that, but nope. This morning on my way to work the belt fell off. With very little power in my car, I managed to get it back to my father's. My dad found the old belt in the trash and stuck it back on for me. Jumped my car, and I was off to work. Thank goodness my boss is an understanding man.

Big brother found me a used alternator for 75 bucks to replace it - tonight.

Speaking of my boss, he brought the crib to work today for me. So tonight I get to take that home with me, but it is missing 3 screws and wheel. No biggie, easy to replace. Just have to go get a mattress for it too. I feel like everything is happening all at once today.

Gawd I want a chocolate bar. LOL

RAPS: October Kitties

2009-10-18T19:22:00.003-07:00

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Friday night I was back at RAPS to feed the kitties, however my helper Tiffany had come an hour early, and when I arrived she was finished all the big plates of food. So I did the little plates for the sick kitties in cages, and she did the dry food and waters. She had to leave early.
Then I washed out the cans for recycling as Shannon arrived. I wandered around giving out loves and taking pictures. I decided I was pretty tired (and hungry) by 7 PM. Everything was done long before that so - I drove home. It gets so dark so early now.

[All those Cat Eyes]

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The October Newsletter is online now. If you subscribe to it, you get it in your email before it is put on the web site.
Read the story wonderful adoption story of the dog Mia:
Mia was at the RAPS City Shelter longer than any dog (around 1.5 years), despite the fact that she has a wonderful personality, a happy and playful demeanor, great training potential and high intelligence. She just needed the right person to come along, and that right person was Melanie.

Thanks Melanie.
Check out Pepsi and Zody, two other dogs needing good homes.
Read the Interview with RAPS Staff member Doug Takahashi.
Or read more TAILS FROM THE ROAD by Shane Burnham, RAPS Animal Control Officer.

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Shelter Wish List
A few items that RAPS needs donated this month!

paper towels
toilet paper
eco-friendly cleaning supplies
liquid (not powder) laundry soap
wet and dry cat food
plain paper
USB web cameras
Lean Cuts canned dog food
scotch tape
paving stones for the new cat run

Donations can be dropped off at the Richmond Animal Shelter at 12071 No. 5 Road in Richmond. Call 604-275-2036 for more information.

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DONATE NOW:

Every bit helps.

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For great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

or read stories from another RAPS volunteer: Neko's Blog.

You can now also follow RAPS on Twitter.

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For more of my photos of the Cats & Cat Sanctuary please visit my Cat Sanctuary Flickr Photos.

Barbara.Doduk's RAPS Cats (2009) photoset

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Audio Addict #102 : Curve

2009-10-18T12:22:00.001-07:00

I fell in love with this band Curve in the early 90s. I had the privilege of seeing them live at The Town Pump here in Vancouver. I still love her voice, and the darkness of this band. I still throw on the albums and feel good.

"Fait Accompli" (1992)

I've come to crush your bones (Fate)
I've come to make you feel old (Fate)
I've come to mess with your head (Fate)

Curve were an English music group formed in 1990 chiefly around the collaboration of singer/songwriter Toni Halliday and bassist/guitarist/programmer Dean Garcia.

"Horror Head" (1992)

There's a horror in my head
When the blanket is gone
From the floor in my castle
Where I see the sun from

In the comfort of this room
The challenge died
Remember you and me
We laughed 'til we cried

Halliday and Garcia were introduced to each other by fellow musician Dave Stewart of Eurythmics; Garcia had played bass guitar as part of Eurythmics' live band in 1983–84 and on two of their studio albums, while Halliday was signed to Stewart's Anxious Records label as a solo artist.

Curve released three acclaimed and increasingly successful EPs throughout 1991 on Stewart's label Anxious Records, and made an impact on the UK album charts in 1992 with their debut Anxious LP Doppelgänger. The group also toured extensively during this period, with Halliday and Garcia being supported on stage by two additional guitarists (Debbie Smith, later of Echobelly, and Alex Mitchell) and a drummer (Steve Monti, formerly of Ian Dury and the Blockheads). Highlights of Curve's live career included a performance at the 1992 Glastonbury Festival, and a package tour of the United States with The Jesus and Mary Chain and Spiritualized.

"Ten Little Girls" (1991)

You think of no-one but yourself
You see the rest of us as fools
You think of no-one but yourself
You see the rest of us as fools
He said, don't feel guilty
Don't go crazy, don't
get, paranoid with me
You play the prophet like a man
It makes no sense in the
overall master plan

Curve's second LP, the harder-edged Cuckoo (1993), did not repeat the UK Top 20 success of the band's debut. That fact, and the stressfulness of the tour in support of the record, may have contributed to Halliday and Garcia's decision, in 1994, to disband the group.

"Superblaster" (1993)

don't start playing games
you can't finish
don't open doors
when you don't know what's waiting
don't try to close your hands
they're smaller than the rain
have you got anything left to say
oh no
oh no
i will reach out
to switch you on
i will reach out
to steal your youth

Curve returned to the music business in 1996 with the EP Pink Girl With the Blues; the following year, they released "Chinese Burn", the first single to be taken from their third all-new album Come Clean (1998). That LP, a set of songs displaying a more pronounced influence of electronic music than earlier releases, was met with a certain amount of acclaim and commercial success, which encouraged the group to continue their recording career. They continued to do small-scale live shows in and around Europe.

Dean Garcia is currently composing for, performing with, and producing the bands SPC ECO and The Chrono Logic.

The songs are credited Halliday/Dowd/Salmon. Halliday is currently recording for her new project, Chatelaine slated for a 2009 release.

Watch these videos and a lot more on YouTube.

Mommy Blogging: Research Opportunity

2009-10-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

This was a comment posted on my blog today. I thought I'd post it for you all in case there are any local Vancouver area new mommies or mommies to be that are interested.

Research opportunity for new moms:

University of British Columbia
School of Population and Public Health
Faculty of Medicine
5804 Fairview Ave
Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z3

Perinatal Mental Health Study

The first weeks after giving birth can be overwhelming... We want to hear about your pregnancy and your experiences during the first few weeks after giving birth.

Who is conducting the study?
We are UBC researchers conducting research on women’s health. Dr. Patti Janssen is a nurse and epidemiologist. Dr. Sarah Desmarais is a forensic psychologist.

What is the study about?
We are interested in finding out more about some of the factors that may affect women’s mental health and well-being during the first weeks after giving birth.

Who is funding the study?
The study is funded by the BC Mental Health and Addictions Research Network.

Who can participate?
If you have given birth within the past 3 months, you are eligible to participate in this study.

What is involved?
• You will participate in one interview (~45 minutes).
• The interview will be conducted at a location and time of your choice.
• You will receive $20 for your participation.

Who would know that I participated?
• Your privacy will be maintained at all times.
• We will never share any information you give us with anyone without your permission.
• Any information you give us will not be part of your hospital record.
• You will not be identified by name in any materials.

How can I find out more?
You can contact (778) 235-7120 or perinatal.mental.health@gmail.com.

Mommy Blogging: 27 Weeks & 1 Teddy Bear

2009-10-11T23:11:00.001-07:00

So I went on Saturday to get my Heart Beat Bear done at 3D Miracles in Langley. I also picked up a good copy of my images, as sadly the first CD was defective. I've watched the DVD of the ultrasound a few times now, I get so emotional to watch her, to know that is my little girl in there. My daughter Lydia Jane.

Recording the heart beat was quick, and my mom came, we had another sneak peek at Lydia Jane, but again she was all wrapped up in my placenta, fast asleep. The bear is big and soft.

What was cute, was that the married couple before us, they had two daughters, aged 7 and 5, running around in the waiting room, and the 7 year old was full of precociousness. She was telling me everything, and when my mom showed up, my mom was like "look what you have to look forward too." I reminded my mom I was only having one child. Although the 7 year old was something - I tell ya.

The 7 year old informed me "she" was having twins. Told me the names, and how the boy twin was "her" baby and the girl "twin" was her sister's baby. Then she informed me that she "stressed" her mother. LOL Yes children have no filters, it's awesome.

Their parents came out and gladly showed us the ultrasound photos of their twins.

I can honestly say, thank goodness, I am only having one. One little girl. I told my mom that I couldn't wait to dress her in girly-girl stuff.

Later that night I had dinner with Holly and Jas, and we talked about children. I laughed and said that I'm sure whatever behavioural habits my daughter has, I have it coming. I was a good kid, shy, quiet, brainy, imaginative, curious, but I rebelled as a teen.

Some of that I am sure was environmental, but still. Not only my genes are involved though, and I have to take into account, Lydia Jane will have half her father's genes. I know he was a loner, nerd, brainy, and shy too as a kid, but as an adult WHOA... LOL So we'll see, every child is different.

Then Sunday my dad came by with my niece in the morning, and then I took her to Crescent Beach for a long walk in the wind and sunshine. We went for lunch, then some window shopping, and back for dinner with with my dad. It was a lovely way to spend the day. Tomorrow is "Eat Turkey" day. Another lovely day with my family and I love them so much.

I can hardly believe I only have 3 months to go now. I feel huge all ready, I can't imagine this belly has so far to go. Sadly the big fibroid has been hurting. Being sick with this cold all week has really worn me out. I want to be well dang it. More rest, more juice. Pumpkin pie. It helps. Or at least that is what I am telling my giant ass. LOL Heck who do I have to impress? I am too happy with the thumping kicking baby growing in my belly to care if I look too chunky-monkey right now. And hell, I have been told, I have the sexiest forehead... LOL

Audio Addict #101 : Doug & The Slugs

2009-10-10T12:34:00.000-07:00

Doug and the Slugs was a Canadian alternative pop band based in Vancouver. The group was formed in 1977 and was most active throughout the 1980s.

"Too Bad" (1980)

Every con-can (Canadian Content) loving teen in the 80s should know the Doug & The Slugs. They are amusing and fun to listen to, and I still enjoy them. The videos were entertaining to watch too.

"Who Knows How To Make Love Stay" (1983)

Doug Bennett was the band's namesake and lead singer. He also produced and directed music videos for artists such as Headpins, Trooper, Zappacosta, Images In Vogue and for the Slugs themselves. He continued to perform with the group until his death in October 2004.

"Makin' It Work" (1983)

The song "Too Bad" (from Cognac And Bologna) not only was their first hit, it was used as the theme song for The Norm Show, a 1999-2001 sitcom starring Norm Macdonald.

"Tomcat Prowl" (1988)

A reunited Doug & The Slugs features 4 Original Members with new singer Ted Okos

(Please watch the linked videos included in this post on YouTube.)

RAPS: Animal Education

2009-10-09T14:22:00.001-07:00

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Classroom Animal Education Program

RAPS volunteers are available to visit local schools with a shelter animal to teach kids of all ages about how to approach animal, how to treat animals and the responsibilities of pet ownership. This program can be catered to the needs of each class or grade level. Please contact RAPS for more information and availability of volunteers.

I think this is a wonderful program and that children that learn early on that animals are a big responsibility and not some "fad" or "whim" to have, is great. Teach them young, and hopefully that will help reduce the amount of abandoned animals.

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Education for Pet Owners

RAPS offers free educational materials available at the Richmond Shelter on how to care for rabbits, the benefits of spaying/neutering, the 'Dog's Bill of Rights' and how to care for your cat. Please visit the Richmond Animal Shelter to pick-up information or to use our reference library of books. Also, check out our online educational site on cat care.

Education is something everyone needs, and if you have never had the responsibility of looking after and caring for an animal, it is always advisable to LEARN first. The fact that RAPS offers helpful information for FREE is even better. There is no excuse for not knowing how to properly look after your pet.

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Low Cost Spay-Neuter Assistance Program

Low-income residents of Richmond can contact RAPS for low-cost spay or neuter surgeries of their cat or cats. Using this program, RAPS will arrange to have your cat spayed or neutered, and you pay a portion of the cost. The City of Richmond bylaw requires that cats must be spayed or neutered. Please contact RAPS at 604-275-2036 if you require assistance.

Over population of pets really comes down to the fact that many pet owners opt to NOT spay or neuter their pets. The cost is usually the reason, and I applaud RAPS for offering a low cost option.

I wish all cities have a bylaw requirement to fix your pets or that any animal sold as a pet would have to be spay or neutered prior to placement in a residential home.

Help Prevent Animal Over-Population and Cruelty

Petition Against the Sale of Animals at Retail Outlets and Related Matters

Petition Against the Sale of Animals at Retail Outlets - Public Signatures

City of Richmond Animal Control Regulation (Bylaw 7932)

No Puppy Mills Canada

Oprah's Show on Puppy Mills

Fluffy Net - Listing of No-Kill Shelters and other information

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DONATE NOW:

Every bit helps.

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For great stories about RAPS adoptions and other tidbits, please read the RAPS BLOG.

Barbara.Doduk's RAPS Cats (2009) photoset

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Mommy Blogging: Sick is Ick

2009-10-08T23:11:00.001-07:00

I think we've all been sick in our lives. Cold and flu days are just unavoidable. I'm sick. I have a nasty cold. Since Monday. No fever, no flu. Just a nasty head cold, which has worn me out.

It is so sexy when your nose is runny... oh baby! LOL

[My cat Maggie, loves to lap cuddle, and has taken to using my baby belly as a pillow. I think my daughter likes the purr noises because she kicks a lot when Maggie is purring in these positions. Finally got a shot of it to show you.]

As an adult, I have got a little stubborn, and insist on being independent, even when sick. However I do recall some fond memories of being sick and pampered... loved.

Every relationship, every man experienced sick me. It is one of the few times I like to be babied and pampered.

My ex husband pampered me. He was a romantic man though, so no surprise. Did I ever tell you how he proposed? We randomly looked at rings together, but he decided which one to get, and took it to my mom to make sure she would approve. Then he went to my dad and asked my dad for my hand in marriage. My dad loved that I tell ya. (So did I when I found out.) In fact, my dad helped in the whole proposal. My dad took me shopping and bought me a vacuum cleaner at Sears, it wasn't unusual, we'd discussed getting one. But when we got back, my ex-husband had made me a special dinner, set a candle lit dinner, with roses. He did get down on one knee and ask me to marry him, ring in hand. How could I say no? Shame that I was too young (just 22) and didn't know who I was. It was probably one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. Naturally when I was sick, my he babied me.

All of my long term relationships have those memories. K was actually a very good person for taking care of me. I know I don't often talk about it, but I would not have stayed with someone nearly 7 years if there was nothing good about it. He always watched out for me. From making sure I walked on the inside of the sidewalk to avoid being hit by cars, to making sure I was taken good care of when I was sick. He would go out at any hour to get juice or whatever would make me feel better, and make sure I took my juice and cold remedies. He cooked for me, he really tried. It was all the other insane things that I couldn't live with, but I know he truly was in love with me and that was why it was so hard to leave.

Looking back on my last relationship, I don't think my ex "the sperm donor" ever looked after me. I remember suffering a terrible migraine, and going to dinner at his parents place. They were temporarily staying in a trailer until they moved to their newly built home. It was hot and stuffy in there which didn't help. When I get migraines I can get sick to my stomach, from the dizzy feeling. Which happened that night, and they were teasing me saying I was pregnant, which I wasn't. He was pissed off at me for feeling sick. We left early and he was silent the whole long car ride home. He wanted to go see a cover band at the Foggy Dew, and I was in no condition to go, which made him even more annoyed at me. Like I purposely decided to have a migraine just to piss him off. He took me home, he was in a miserable mood, so I said I just needed to lay down in the dark and I would be fine. I said, if he really wanted to, he could go out without me. He went out! That was pretty much how he was. Totally selfish. I don't think he ever did anything for me. He certainly never gave a me gift or did anything romantic for me. Not one damn thing. Ever.

K knew I didn't like the idea of cut flowers, but he would still surprise me with them, or little presents. Come home with a sweet treat, or something he saw that made him think of me (sure he bought it with my money but hey, he was thinking of me). Heck FA even walked 40 blocks in a snow storm just to be with me on Valentine's Day. FA gave me presents and gifts, and flowers. Sure he cheated on me for 9 months, but he was romantic. My ex-husband was no stranger to gifts and surprises to show he loved me. But not the "sperm donor". He never gave me a thing. Never even a card or note, not one damn thing. He was not romantic at all. He certainly never cared for me when I was sick, that's for sure.

My friends ask me "what if" all the time about the future and the "father". I don't know the answers to things that haven't happened... hard to say what you will do in some unknown future. I will say this though...

You know, the "sperm donor" and I last spoke over 2 months ago (I had to take steps to insure him and his family could never contact me) and thankfully "sperm donor" has left me alone. It's been amazingly peaceful without the stress of his bullshit in my life these last 2+ months. I hope to GOD he never contacts me ever again.

The man I love, the man I fell in love with between 2006 and 2007 clearly was not the same man I lived with and had the misfortune of dealing with from 2008 up to 2 months ago. I don't know what happened to the man I fell for, or if he was even real, but I know he is gone.

I will eventually get over it.

I still don't know what I will one day tell my daughter about it either... I have time to figure it out.

I just know, we are better off without that man and his many problems. I know a child deserves a "father" but not one who will never really be there, not one that will cherish drinking more than spending time with her, not one that wants unattainable fame more than true family, and certainly not one that is verbally abusive toward me.

I am fairly sure that once I have my daughter, and have time to settle into being a mommy, I will finally be able to find my love. Probably when I am busy being a mommy, and not caring about it. Yet I know, now, what I will NEVER tolerate in my life, and what I will NEVER SETTLE for. I was so willing to accept crap before, but now that I am going to be a mom, there is no way, no how. My daughter is #1. I have reset the bar beyond high for us, and although it may make it harder to finally find MY Mr. Right, I know now that when I do find him, it will be the best for US - not just me.

I don't know why my mind wandered all over there... I'm fuzzy headed from this cold.

My mom was always such a loving mom, I hope I have her heart. When I was sick as a child or teen, she always went out of her way to baby me. To make sure I was getting enough juice and rest. Talking to her yesterday afternoon, I could even hear it in her voice, still the "mommy" to me even though I'm 36, I'll always be her baby. Add in the fact I am nearly 6 months pregnant now with my own daughter, and her care and concern is real. Always has been. My family has always been so important to me, which is why I am so happy we have all come into this phase of ours lives, together.

I will admit, being sick while pregnant freaks me out, but I am trying to turn off that part of my thoughts. It is just a cold. No fever, no flu.

I'm too exhausted from being sick all week now, to even consider going to the RAPS cat sanctuary tomorrow. I had to cancel plans all week with friends, so feeling GUILTY for it all, but I HAVE to rest and get well.

I have my next check up at the Maternity clinic next week, and blood-work and tests. Rest is the only thing I need. That and a lovely long weekend of family and friends and gobble gobble turkey. By the time this posts, I should be asleep. I wonder what weird dreams I'll have tonight. Sleep well blogland.

Audio Addict #100 : Alannah Myles

2009-10-08T07:22:00.001-07:00

Alannah Myles is a Canadian singer-songwriter. In 1988, she released her self-titled debut album, Alannah Myles. In 1990 "Black Velvet," a single taken from that album, was a worldwide smash hit and won a grammy award.

"Black Velvet" (1989)

When she was sixteen, she began performing in Southern Ontario. She eventually met Christopher Ward, the songwriter who helped her to form her own band, and performed cover versions of Aretha Franklin, T. Rex, AC/DC, Bob Seger, Anne Peebles, the Rolling Stones, and the Pretenders. Later, she joined with David Tyson to produce her self-titled debut album, Alannah Myles.

"Love Is" (1989)

She appeared together with Christopher in a 1984 installment of the television series program The Kids Of Degrassi Street, in which she played the role of an aspiring singer and single mother.

In 1989, she released Alannah Myles. It produced three Top 40 selections, "Love Is," "Lover Of Mine," and "Still Got This Thing," as well as the number one hit "Black Velvet." For Myles, "Black Velvet" became a number one hit worldwide and was named the most played song on radio for 1989. "Black Velvet" won Myles a Grammy Award for Best Female Rock Performance, and several Juno Awards.

The year 1992 brought the follow up album, Rockinghorse, which included the hit singles "Song Instead Of A Kiss," "Our World, Our Times," and "Sonny, Say You Will." She received a Grammy nomination and 3 Juno Awards.

"Still Got This Thing" (1990)

Where are all the amazing women singers like this, these days?

Most of the videos on YouTube have had the audio removed.

Audio Addict #99 : Sarah McLachlan

2009-10-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

Sarah McLachlan is a Canadian musician, singer and songwriter. She is known for her emotional ballads and mezzo-soprano vocal range.

I love her voice, have since I first heard it. I love singing her songs.

"Into the Fire" (1991)

As of 2006, she has sold over 40 million albums worldwide. Her best-selling album to date is Surfacing, for which she won two Grammy Awards (out of three nominations) and eight Juno Awards.

In addition to her personal artistic efforts, she founded the Lilith Fair tour, which showcased female musicians in the late 1990s.

"Building A Mystery" (1997)

The first of her albums, Touch, was recorded in 1988, which received both critical and commercial success and included the hit song "Vox". During this period she also contributed to an album by Moev, and embarked on her first national concert tour as an opening act for The Grapes of Wrath.

"Adia" (1998)

Her 1991 album, Solace, was her mainstream breakthrough in Canada, spawning the hit singles "The Path of Thorns (Terms)" and "Into the Fire". Solace also marked the beginning of her partnership with Pierre Marchand. Marchand and McLachlan have been collaborators ever since, with Marchand producing all of McLachlan's albums and occasionally co-writing songs.

1993's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy was an immediate smash hit in Canada. From her Nettwerk connection, her piano version of the song "Possession" was included on the first Due South soundtrack in 1996.

"Ice Cream" (1999)

McLachlan returned in 1997 with Surfacing, her best selling album to date. Earning her two Grammy Awards and four Juno Awards, the album has since sold over 11 million copies worldwide and brought her much international success. Still in the spotlight from the album, McLachlan launched the highly popular Lilith Fair tour.

McLachlan returned to public life and touring with her 2003 album release, Afterglow, which contained the singles "Fallen", "Stupid", and "World On Fire." Rather than shoot a conventional music video for "World On Fire", McLachlan donated all but $15 of the $150,000 budget to various charitable causes around the world and then used the video to explain how it benefited the communities that received the money.

"Don't Give Up On Us" (2009)

Wintersong debuted at No. 42 on the Billboard 200 album chart the week ending 4 November 2006. Wintersong was nominated for both a Grammy Award, in the Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album category, as well as for a Juno Award, for Pop Album of the Year.

Watch her videos link here, on YouTube.

Peak Performance Project - Vancouver Music

2009-10-06T15:00:00.003-07:00

The PEAK Performance Project is a seven-year, $5.29 million contest open to all musicians in British Columbia. The project was created by 100.5 The PEAK and Music BC to develop BC based emerging artists.

In a time when music is struggling to find support, an annual event like this in Vancouver is a wonderful project indeed. 100.5 The PEAK Radio station in conjunction with Music BC Industry Association (formerly Pacific Music Industry Association) have developed this wonderful project.

Music BC received 450 applications for the Peak Performance Project 2009. I think that just goes to show how many struggling musicians there are in this city hoping for their break. Of that 450 only 20 made the cut.

24hrs: PEAK whittles down list to 20 bands

The 20 artists will be performing live in the fall during The PEAK Performance Concert Series in Vancouver. (See below for concert dates and information)

Five (5) of them will go on to record their music and get airtime on Canadian radio.

In March 2010, three (3) finalists will be named and receive $275,000 for career development.

First place receives $150,000
Second place receives $75,000
Third place receives $50,000

For more information on the project, visit www.peakperformanceproject.com.

Over the last weeks of August the bands were in Boot Camp.

You can check out some of the videos of it on Youtube / peakperformproject

Want to find out more about the bands, check out this article from Vancouver Sun, which includes some free MP3 downloads.

PEAK Performance Top 20 Finalists in CONCERT:

The Peak Performance Project Concert Series… @ The Cellar Nightclub
1006 Granville St : 19+ only : Doors at 7pm

Thursday October 15th 2009
Danny Echo
The Painted Birds
TV Heart Attack

Thursday October 22nd 2009
Garrett Kato
Téa
Sweetheart
We Are The City

Thursday October 29th 2009
Familia
Adaline
Run The Red Light
Freeflow

Thursday November 5th 2009
Alexandria Maillot
Kuba Oms
Ben Sigston
Wassabi Collective

Thursday November 12th 2009
Bodhi Jones
Adrian Glynn
The Left
Bend Sinister

BUT right now you can vote for your pick:

Poll: Top 20 Voting