THE LOVE LIST

2012-01-31T15:14:00.001-05:00

1. Valentino Chunky-Knit Sweater 2. Claridge + King Great White Shirt 3. Ralph Lauren Black Label Skinny Pant 4. Christian Louboutin Viola 120 Sandals 5. Hermes Kelly

I suppose I was an odd teenager. Though I knew I wanted to be a writer, I didn't worship at the altar of Carrie Bradshaw like most girls I knew -- instead I longed for the gritty life of a young Cameron Crowe. Instead of getting lost in thoughts of pounding the Manhattan pavement shod in designer heels, I daydreamed about going gonzo like Hunter S. Thompson. But there was still that other side of me -- the contradictory one that flipped through the pages of Vogue and meticulously studied the muses who made the magazine tick. I was never much interested in the models -- I craved peeks into the day-to-day of the magazine, I wanted to know what those women wore to work!

And so, I was the sixteen-year-old who wanted to be Lauren Santo-Domingo (then Lauren Davis) AND Cameron Crowe. And I still do. I strive for that dichotomy every day -- because why can't I profile a rock star as I'm clad in Carven? The LSD kills it always, and above most anyone else, I think I'll always admire her as the coolest of the cool crowd... down to her killer apartment and her husband's beyond enviable vinyl collection (remember that post?) So while perhaps right now, the only Hermes in my closet are a few scarves and a petite Jige, this girl gives me something to aspire to... and not just speaking materialistically, but using the metaphor of relating my life in terms of the climb from a Jige to a Kelly. Because you can have it all, right? Right.

Photo credit: Marco MacPherson for Vogue

2012-01-29T14:19:00.003-05:00

The great thing about writing a blog is that it can be whatever you want it to be, whenever you need it to. It becomes an extension of your personality, if you are honest about it. Just as you age, you get more comfortable in your own skin, the longer I have The Love List, the more confident I become in the fact that my readers will go where I take them. Many of you have grown up with me. As my tastes have evolved, as my interests have changed, as I've felt more at ease sharing more than one side of myself, The Love List has truly become what it claims to be -- a lifestyle blog. My lifestyle. My life, and the things I want to share with each and every one of you.

In life, there are times we fall silent. When we have nothing to say, sometimes, the most honest thing to do is to decisively not fill empty space just because you feel obligated. So despite my knowledge of traditional social media approach, sometimes, I go quiet for a week or so. Other times, I post an onslaught of content because I've been particularly inspired. This week, I've been traveling -- and in doing so, marinating, stewing... reflecting.

I rarely get deeply personal here, because I feel The Love List is more about doing for others than it is a platform to spring myself into the limelight. I don't post photos of myself often, I don't share much about my personal life, and I make it a point to always keep in mind that more than anything, this blog is about you, the reader.

That being said, today I'm making an exception. Sometimes, you have to take all the little bits and pieces and add them up for people. Further, I think when you have the privilege of a public platform and the flattering luxury of a following, you have an obligation from time to time that extends beyond simply providing entertainment. I get emails from y'all all the time -- the kindest, sweetest, most flattering letters that ask me about success at a young age, or my life, or blogging, or simply sending along sweet compliments. It's those of you that inspired me to write this post. I feel I owe it to y'all.

I'm aware that by and large, most of my readers are girls and guys around my own age. I'll be 26 in March. Your twenties are one of the most tumultuous, exciting, scary, adventurous, fun, and unsure of your lifetime. Each of us, in our own way, follows our own path to finding our footing.

The last year of my life has been one of the most highly transitional in a long time. I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, moved cities, changed lifestyles, made new friends, traveled more than I ever have, dated a steady stream of duds, and took many giant leaps of faith -- some that worked out amazingly, and others that left me flat on my face with tears in my eyes. Professionally, I made both huge mistakes and massive strides forward. Personally, I learned hard lessons about love, friendship, and family, and became more aware and thankful than ever of the wonderful people in my life who propped me up when I could barely stand on my own two feet. By and large though, in nearly every area of my life, I feel and see growth like I never have before. I look in the mirror in the morning, and I like that girl a lot. Quite simply, I am happy.

If you follow me on twitter or even read the blog regularly, you probably know that I try to handle most things with a sense of humor. Sometimes I can be sharp -- too sharp. Too tough on some people and too easily forgiving of others. I definitely have a streak of "tough old bird" Southern sass that I inherited from the women in my family, sometimes to a fault. I can come off crass or sarcastic, and sometimes I have to tell myself to shush. I can be too emotional (hello, still a girl...), and sometimes it backfires. But it's that same tenacity, attention, care, and "why not?" attitude that has taken me this far.

I always say there is only one kind of person in the world -- the person who wants something. We ALL want something, and most of us want it all. We don't just want professional success, we want to fall in love, we want families of our own, we want to bolster ourselves with wonderful friends and all the trappings of a life well-lived, however we may personally define that. I'm no different. I want it all, and I believe that I can have it. I truly, truly believe I can.

However, we are a generation of kids that feel that things are owed to us. I'm guilty of it myself -- a sense of entitlement that says deep down, ultimately, we will be provided for one way or the other. And maybe even into young adulthood, that is true. College, as my friend's husband recently put it, "isn't real life." We get to live with the autonomy of adults, but many of us are still being supported by and large by our families -- for some of us, that extends past college even into young adulthood. We are graduating into a tough economy, and many of us end up moving back home. Often due to that, we get to straddle a thin line of just enough responsibility and a healthy dose of play time.

So while we want it all, and we hope that eventually we will have it, I'm finding more and more folks I know don't really know how they are getting from point A to point B. They aren't even thinking about it! They know where they are now, they know where they eventually want to be, but they have no real plan of action for getting there. It isn't just professionally either. It's personally.

You can relate professional success to dating very easily. To make my point, I'll use dudes as an example because frankly, I know a lot more guys than girls, and I know a lot of guys like this: a man knows he eventually wants to get married and have kids, but instead of entering the dating world with the mindset of finding the kind of girl he can marry, he shoots for the ease of the bar scene and a girl he doesn't have to work for. While it may placate him for the time being, it's not making any steps in the right direction toward his ultimate goal. Weeks, months, and eventually years pass by, and he wakes up on his 30th birthday in exactly the same place he was on his 25th -- single with no real prospects. Worse, he's got a shoddy reputation and an even slimmer dating pond to fish from. Professionally, he can know where he'd like to take his company or career -- but on a day-to-day basis, he sleeps in, he goes out too much, he doesn't maintain a professional demeanor in his work crowd, and his pace slows and could even eventually come to a halt. Further, chances are, his personal reputation has leaked into his professional one, and it's cost him dearly.

It's those day-to-day decisions that add up, and that is the biggest lesson I have learned this year. Nothing is isolated.

So for all of you who email me specifically about blogging, being an entrepreneur, social media, or all other kinds of advice, at the risk of sounding preachy, I feel I'm better serving you by telling you this: you will reach an age where it's no longer acceptable for people to provide for you. At some point very soon, you will be solely responsible for yourself -- and guess what? When that day comes, no matter how scary and looming it may be, you'll feel a sense of purpose that defines your life in a way you never knew it could.

You will learn that gathering around a dinner table with people you truly love over a home-cooked meal and a glass of wine is a hell of a lot more gratifying than hitting a bar, blasting a cig, and looking for the next person to hook up with. You will learn how rare and meaningful a real connection with someone is. You will learn that half of success is simply showing up. You will learn that the only true currency you have is your integrity and your relationships. You will learn to be smarter about who you love. And you will learn that no man is an island - that nothing you do won't affect you or someone else. Every single drop causes a ripple in the pond. So work hard, be fearless, be as gracious as you can without getting steamrolled, and don't expect people to provide for you. Instead, be surprised when they want to, and return the favor as quickly as you can. Find people who challenge you to be BETTER and love them for it. Men, find yourself a woman worth working for -- one who makes you a better man. Ladies, for goodness sake, make a man do some legwork and quit serving yourself up on a silver platter. You're worth a chase, I promise. If you have this mindset, you will succeed at anything.

Further, if you don't currently have that mindset, it's never too late to get in it. Don't wait to change. Don't say you'll change. Just change.

Trust me, it's advice I struggle to maintain myself every day. God knows I'm not perfect, I've made plenty of mistakes and I am still very single, but I'll tell y'all one thing - I have never psyched myself out of something. If I want it, I'm hell-bent on getting it. And I may not always succeed, but as least I know I damn well tried. And I can live with that.

Thank you for sticking with me as The Love List approaches it's 5th anniversary. I promise I'll keep y'all in mind with every post I write, and I can't wait to keep growing with you as our lives take us all kinds of crazy places. I hope you'll keep writing me email, keep walking up and introducing yourselves, and keep corresponding with me on twitter and the like. Because of that, I promise to always be myself, and I hope you will too. You guys are why I named this blog The Love List. I hope the things I've learned in the past year can help one or two of you. If so, I'd love to hear about it one day down the line. Lastly, I promise that I'll keep writing... as long as you keep reading.

With all my love,

Jess

2012-01-23T10:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, yes, YES.

2012-01-20T10:00:00.004-05:00

I always have more fun with "Love List" features when I'm spotlighting friends - I can be more hands-on and the process is always a riot. Such was the case with the bright young fellow you see above -- Chris Leidy is a total wallflower and a crippling introvert... psych. One of the coolest dudes on the island, Chris's fearless style is totally apparent in his incredible work. After cutting his teeth in the film industry, he merged his know-how with a camera with his lifelong love for the water. The recently opened Leidy Images Gallery in Palm Beach boasts wall upon wall of photos shot throughout his extensive travels, on land and deep under the sea. What makes him tick? Dive in...

1. Canon 1 DS Mark 3 - I have always been a Canon guy. It shoots just like it sounds. 2. Cross Pendant - Symbolizes not only my strong faith, but reminds me of my loving family... custom made for the men in the family. 3. Old Spice Deodorant (Classic Scent) - Smells like my Dad. 4. Sperry Topsiders - timeless stee, Sperry keeps you stuck to the boat and the skateboard. 5. Leidy Images Black Pearl Photograph - My little paradise pearl of the Pacific, where I spent the first month of three on a photo collecting extravaganza around French Polynesia. 6. Tattoos - If you care that much about something, why not ink it permanently on your skin? There are stories behind each of my tats. 7. Strong Boalt Swim Trunks - I'm supposed to take this opportunity to plug my amazingly creative cousin Amanda and her brilliant swim line, but instead I'm gonna use this space to tell Mando that my talented, super rad beautiful best bud LJ Kool is deeply in like with her! 8. I love listening to classic vinyl, from Velvet Underground to Johnny Cash. 9. My Burger Beater was hand-crafted for me by Dan Taylor -- gets me in style from point A to point B. 10. I like to ride in style by land and by sea, and my '82 Scrambler does it for me!! 11. US Divers Pacifica Mask - I love my dive mask because they don't make it anymore. It's huge windshield is like glass -- I can see the future through this shit. 12. Lilly the adopted manatee is just another beautiful female added to my family.

Playlist pick: Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel

Leidy Images on the web / Leidy Images on Facebook

2012-01-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Twenty-one favorites from my personal library...

1. Penguin by Design 2. Poolside with Slim Aarons 3. Breakfast at Tiffany's (original cover) 4. Michael Ruhlman: Charcuterie 5. Matt Albiani: Lifeguard on Duty 6. J.D. Salinger Boxed Set 7. Cecil Beaton: Art of the Scrapbook 8. Pink: The Exposed Color in Contemporary Art and Culture 9. Young Men with Unlimited Capital: The Story of Woodstock 10. Vera: The Art and Life of an Icon 11. Shel Silverstein: Where the Sidewalk Ends 12. Jenny Saville 13. Celerie Kemble: To Your Taste 14. Harper Lee: To Kill a Mockingbird 15. Amanda Brooks: I Love Your Style 16. Julia Child: Mastering the Art of French Cooking 17. The Beatles in Rishikesh 18. Tipsy in Madras: an 80's Guide to Preppy Drinking 19. Ayn Rand: The Fountainhead 20. John Currin: The Dogwood Thieves 21. Thomas Keller Boxed Set

2012-01-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

Continuing with our theme today, how about a little Gatsby-esque fringe dangling from your lobes?

1. 2. 3.

2012-01-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

Ah, the 1920's... the age of the flapper, a new breed of woman. Her androgynous sexuality caused the kind of prohibitory moral stir that we can relate to in modern-day context only with infamous phrases like "wardrobe malfunction" and "Weinergate." This girl could vote! She smoked cigarettes in public! gasp! What better embodies her eternal spirit than the paragon of 20's literature, The Great Gatsby? Embrace the recklessness of Prohibition and channel your inner Daisy Buchanan with these Fitzgerald-echelon frocks, moonshine not included.

1. Richard Nicol Silk-Georgette Dress 2. Michael by Michael Kors Sloan Lizard-Effect Clutch 3. Marni Resin and Snake Chain Butterfly Necklace 4. Miu Miu Glitter-Finish Sandals 5. Red Valentino Two-Tone Patent Leather Pumps 6. Marc by Marc Jacobs Dahlia Lace and Jersey Dress 7. Anna Sui Embellished Dress 8. Valentino Gold-Plated Swarovski Bib Necklace 9. Stella McCartney Embroidered Cotton and Silk-Blend Dress 10. Maison Martin Margiela Cutout Leather Pumps

BONUS POINTS: first-edition copy, The Great Gatsby. Also available new in hardcover and paperback.

image credit: Paramount Pictures. Bruce Dern with Mia Farrow in The Great Gatsby, 1972

2012-01-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, things are just you. Here's a little roundup of things I've come across lately that are so... well, The Love List! (P.S. -- bargain alert! Lots of them are on sale at Vivre!)

1. Selvage Tote 2. Fuchsia Agate Necklace 3. Baies Noir Candle 4. Large Zebra Head Ring 5. Assouline Skull Stationery Set 6. 7. Alexander McQueen Skull Double Wrap Bracelet 8. Studded Neon Earrings

2012-01-13T13:21:00.002-05:00

Lee Kleinhelter needs no introduction -- as the business brain and tastemaker behind Pieces in Atlanta, Georgia, her reach has been broad and lengthy in the print press and blogosphere. When I was recently in Atlanta, I dropped by her beautiful store to finally see the oft-talked about destination in person. A fabulous high-end mix of new and old, It did not disappoint, and neither did Lee. Her graciousness was matched only by her impeccable taste. Her picks below resonate her tried and true mantra of less-is-more.

1. I always blow my budget on shoes. I would rather have a new pair of shoes and wear the same jeans everyday. I don't have a lot of anything, because I'd rather wait and get what I really want. Less is always more when it comes to wardrobe as well as your closet. Everything should be well edited. No one is really looking at the rest of your outfit when you have great feet, just keep it minimal and wear all black. 2. Rubber Key Chain: yes, I really carry one. They are the best because you can always find your keys! 3. Super Large LBK Goyard Tote: Great because it holds everything. Not into carrying diaper bags, but it multi functions for the kid's stuff too! 4. Our Sea Urchins are the best. They can be scattered on a table or grouped on a wall. Great unexpected touch! 5. FAVORITE cubes! They look great as multiples as a coffee table or single beside a chair. LOVE the contrast of rustic and modern edge. These are SO Pieces. 6. Heavy Ram Cuff: I don't wear a lot of jewelry, but love one big chunky piece to wear. This was a gift from this fab store in North Carolina called Capitol. Never really feel like an Atlantan, really always will be a North Carolinian, so proud that they have a chic shop! 7. Our custom-made pendants are a POP that every room needs. I can't get enough of them. We can do all sorts of sizes, shapes, and colors too! 8. Tibetan Goat Pouf: Combine bean bag with curly goat hair. Super posh and oh so cozy! 9. Vintage Cocktails Book: Love that it was shot at the Carlyle in NY. 10. Butter London nail polish: But, I only do color on toes. Wish I could go bold on nails, but it's just not me.

Pieces on Facebook / Pieces on Twitter / Pieces on the web

2012-01-12T12:00:00.002-05:00

Who can resist wild prints and bold party frocks from the likes of Ferragamo? Not I, which is why tonight I'll be sipping champagne and shopping the Spring/Summer 2012 collection at the 200 Worth Avenue Ferragamo boutique. From today until January 15, in support of The Paradise Fund, a portion of the Palm Beach store's sales will benefit St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. So if you didn't have an excuse to shop before, now you have something a cut above -- a reason, and better -- a cause.

2012-01-12T10:00:00.006-05:00

Yeah yeah, you all know it's no secret that I love Jules Reid, but come on! Her new offerings for spring are so killer I had to shine a spotlight on my favorites -- the Harper Two maxi (center) is a perennial must-have (I think I have it in three prints now...) and I simply cannot stop thinking about the multitude of ways I'll wear the Polly skirt (left. So excited about this new silhouette!) Finally, the Peony dress (right) -- the cut is so ladylike, so coy, but the print hollers "sit up and pay attention!" I'm ready to hang all three in my closet, what are you coveting from her Spring/Summer 2012 collection?

The Jules Reid Spring/Summer 2012 collection is now available for pre-order at JulesReid.com for a mid-February/early March arrival. Alternatively, if you're in Palm Beach, stop by Michelle Farmer Collaborate at 105 North County Road this weekend to preview, try on, and pre-order the collection in person.

2012-01-11T20:10:00.000-05:00

The Palm Beach social season might be winding down, but the sun continues to heat up. Native islanders are still looking to resort collections for items we'll wear year-round. Right now, I just want to build everything in my wardrobe around this gorgeous maxi dress. Seems reasonable, right? A minor investment considering it's cost-per-wear potential. Even more fun? Accessorizing.

1. Dress, Tory Burch, 150 Worth Ave. 561.833.4474 2. Earrings, Krystal Sasso, Delray Beach, 561.789.9099 3. Sandals, Il Sandalo, 240 Worth Ave. (in Via Gucci) 561.805.8674 4. Clutch, Kotur, info@koturltd.com

2012-01-10T12:21:00.001-05:00

Chock full of fearless underwater photography, Leidy Images Gallery is located on Royal Poinciana Way on Palm Beach, in via Testa.

2012-01-10T10:00:00.004-05:00

What's more fun than sticking it to your ex? Doing well, and at half the price point. C. Wonder is the brainchild of Chris Burch (that's right, he used to share that name with another Burch you may have heard of...) and wow, is it a whopper. You can't even hate on the guy because it's just so dang well-executed. Gobs of preppy, cheeky, affordable goodness drip from every shelf, and their Manhattan flagship is a sight to behold. Even if a trip to the Big Apple isn't on your agenda anytime soon, you can shop to your heart's content online for knockoffs blatant (ahem, I don't think John Derian is so thrilled right now) and not so blatant...(I mean, like you were going to buy the real Hermes ash tray anyhow) plus lots of cool stuff you can't find elsewhere, like that bike... hello! 250.00 bucks AND you can buy an awesome basket to go with? I'm already envisioning island rides down by the ocean on County Road...

1. Zebra plate 2. Palm tree platter 3. Stationery 4. Ginger jar 5. Tortoise glass nut bowl 6. Big ideas notebook 7. Foo dogs 8. Orange city bike (+ bonus points for basket)

2012-01-06T10:20:00.002-05:00

When I was in Atlanta last month, Gregg Donnelly seemed to be the name on everybody's lips. The founder of Jack Donnelly Khakis (named for his Grandfather) is quietly stirring up buzz since setting out to create, quite simply, the best fitting khakis on the market. Made in America from the finest domestically sourced materials he can find, Gregg is determined to fill in the gap between other brands and become synonymous with khaki pants for the discerning man in the coming years. "It's pretty simple." he told me, "Guys want pants that fit." Here's a rundown of what the man behind the brand chooses for himself...

1. Jack Donnelly Dalton Pant - All day, everyday. Top quality, great fit, American made. Some might say the best. 2. Lucchese 1883 Ranch Hand Boots - Started wearing these bad boys while in college at TCU in Fort Worth, TX. I've been wearing them ever since. 3. Knockaround Sunglasses - Huge fan of this company and product. I suppose they're a take on the classic Wayfarer style. They come in a bunch of different cool color combos and designs. Also, they're cheap (price wise), so you can buy a couple pairs at a time and/or don't have to sweat it if you lose them. 4. Faconnable - Great fit, great patterns, great fabric. Just a proper sport shirt. 5. Macbook Pro - One of the best things I've ever owned. Just an absolutely amazing machine. 6. Smathers and Branson Custom TCU Needlepoint Belt - I really like the needlepoint style. S & B makes a quality one and love the fact I can rep my team while wearing it. 7. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Awesome, awesome record. He's been penning hits for years as the brainchild for Oasis, but just recently ventured out on a solo debut Highly recommend - "If I Had A Gun" and "Everybody's On the Run" Don't be scared to venture into his back catalog too. Hits for days. 8. Criquet - The Players Shirt - Just recently got a couple of these and really dig the style. It's kind of a retro, 70's golf vibe, which is unique. Love the fact that they're American made - I always try to support a fellow American made company, given the chance. 9. The Whigs T-Shirt - The Whigs are a great band out of Athens, GA. I've been following them close since their early days. Every year they come out with some really cool t-Shirt designs. 10. Leisure Sports - Big fan of the "Leisure Sport" movement - Bocce Ball, Horseshoes, Washers, Cornhole, etc. I'm versed in most, but my speciality is washers. I like to think I'm pretty good at it.

Jack Donnelly Khakis on Twitter / Jack Donnelly Khakis on Facebook / Jack Donnelly Khakis on the web

Gregg Donnelly photographed by Caroline of Back Down South

2012-01-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

Hey dude, nice shot. Rad stuff for the dude who likes to set the trends rather than follow them:

Union and Mark McNairy Country Brogue / Unruly Heir Sling Shot

2012-01-03T11:32:00.000-05:00

Liquidated Hermes

Liquitex on Canvas 24 x 48

artist: Zevs gallery: De Buck Gallery, New York

Liquidated Hermes...? scoff! When pigs fly.

2012-01-02T14:28:00.001-05:00

click the image above to send us an email, we'd love to hear from you in 2012

2012-01-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

2011-12-30T15:36:00.000-05:00

2011-12-29T14:32:00.000-05:00

New Year's Eve is a big night on Palm Beach -- whether you're attending a party, a ball, or just doing the McCarty's/Cucina rotation, islanders have a better excuse than usual to dress to the nines and clink champagne flutes. In celebration of what I'm optimistically declaring an amazing year ahead, I've pulled together a few of my favorite staples and resolutions. What are your plans for the big evening? More importantly, what are you wearing?

the setting... Hot Pink Thonet Chair / Diptyque Baies candle / Veuve

the duds... Jules Reid maxi / Moore & Giles clutch / Kate Spade earrings / Francesca Joy tie

the resolution... Hermes bracelet / Graphic Image day planner / Town & Country magazine

2011-12-28T14:32:00.000-05:00

A friend said it best recently when she spouted that the future of small brands is smart collaborations. Brands these days wisely acknowledge the blogger as an influencer, and when great creative minds come together, often something fresh and inspiring is born. Jace of Grungy Gentleman just paired up with the ubiquitous KJP for a slick herringbone and alligator leather belt that I can see worked into a million different wardrobes. I'm into it because it's a cool departure for the Kiel James Patrick brand. On a preppier note, Charleston-based Cooper Ray (of Social Primer fame) has teamed up yet again with menswear monster Brooks Brothers to produce the "tailgate blazer"-- a nod to the upscale southern football tailgate tradition, one I'm well-versed in and happy to see niched out in such a handsome jacket.

2011-12-27T10:00:00.002-05:00

Happy Tuesday! With the new year hovering, who wouldn't want a fresh injection of punchy color to their stationery collection? This is the highest of the high end -- stationers Dempsey and Carroll hand-border their note cards and tuck them in a box with ten corresponding lined envelopes -- in this case, featuring prints from the fab Trina Turk. The set is super limited-edition, and to tickle your philanthropic bone, a portion of the proceeds from each go to PS Arts, a non-profit organization committed to improving children's lives through arts education. Of course we have one to give away -- leave a comment on this post and tell us the one gift you received this holiday that you can't wait to drop a thank you note in the mail for.

2011-12-26T10:00:00.001-05:00

Atonement Studies: Central Panel, 2005-2006
Oil on watercolor paper
99 x 72 3/4 in. (251.5 x 185 cm)
Private Collection

Contemporary art fans in Palm Beach this season should absolutely drop by The Norton Museum of Art for a rare exhibition of Jenny Saville's mature work, brought together for the first time, including works never before exhibited from Saville's studio. The exhibition runs through March 4, 2012.

2011-12-24T10:36:00.002-05:00