The Male Domain

Boys Will Be Boys

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

I have five boys, so let's just say I know a thing or two about how boys act on their road to manhood. Besides having five sons, I have two older brothers, and we were no different growing up either. Boys have a need to express themselves in masculine ways, and a good parent won't try to beat that out of them, or steer them toward expressing themselves like their sisters. A bloody nose is good medicine for the road ahead.

The goal of raising sons is to prepare them to be leaders one day. Whether that's in the form of husband, father, business owner, elder or deacon, we need to teach our boys that life isn't always fair and that sometimes they may need to fight for what is right. To shield your boy from the pain of life is to render him damaged for the the future. Momma won't always be there, and they should learn early on that Momma doesn't always have to be there.

Recently my boys have had some minor tussles with other boys from the neighborhood, and like good sports, after the dust settled, they shook hands and put it behind them. By no means do I want to raise bullies who seek blood for no good reason, but on the other hand, neither do I want to raise cowards who go running away when life gets a little tough. There's a time to talk, and a time to fight; a time to stand fast, and a time to retreat; and our goal as parents is to teach our boys when those times are.

Conquering A City In 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Here we are fellas, a few days past Christmas and a new year on the horizon. If you're like me, your scrambling through the files of your mind trying to decide what needs to change next year and what went well this year. Most of us make New Year's resolutions at the beginning of each year and hope that we'll see them come-to-pass. There are many areas of my life that I know the Lord would like me to improve upon next year, and by His grace they will be different come December of 2012.

I'm wondering if you'd like to join me on a quest to improve the quality of life for yourself and for your family in the coming year. I know that by making my desires public, I open myself up for public inquisition at any time. Maybe that's a good thing. Men need to be challenged in all areas of their life, like the kings of Israel and the Prophets who helped guide them. The first king who didn't have his own prophet ended up allowing his passions to run wild and it led to much sin and heartache. I'm speaking of Solomon, who as and old man wrote about the meaninglessness of everything life had to offer expect obedience to God.

So if you're willing to join me in setting out to conquer the city that's known by your name, send me an email or post a comment on this blog.

Below is a list of some areas of life that I'd like to improve upon next year and some areas that I know other Men struggle with and need to conquer if they're to truly excel in their walks with the Lord and in the leadership of themselves and their families:

Prayer life

Study of God's word

Family devotions with wife and children

Finances (budgeting, debt elimination, saving, etc. I know this is a major one for many men, and if I could, I'd like to recommend a book that's easy to read, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.)

Marital oneness (Connecting with our wives at a heart level on a daily basis. Not sure how to, just ask your wife.)

Sexual purity (Another big issue, if not THE issue, that has crippled the power of men in the church. Whether it's adulterous relationships, masturbation, pornography, fornication, or any other sexual sin--until we as men get control over our God-given desires and steer them in the right direction, we will lack the power to serve that comes through purity. Let's put this sin to death, men!)

Family ministry endeavors (What can your family do as ministry to others in 2012? Whether it's serving in a homeless shelter, nursing home, soup kitchen, or caring for the elderly in your neighborhood, find something you can do together and do it!)

Discipleship of children (I'm talking about intentional discipleship here, not just what comes by living with you.)

Home improvements (the condition of our homes is a reflection of our lives and a message to our wives.)

Fasting and prayer (I'm beginning the year with a 30 day season of fasting and prayer that I'd love for some men to join me on. I'll go from 1/2/12 - 1/31/12. Let me know if your interested. You can do 1 day a week, 10 days, 20, or all 40. You decide and stick to it.)

Diet and exercise (For too many of us, the question isn't whether or not we need to lose weight, the question is, how much weight do we need to lose? I want to see my grand-kids, so I know that this is gravely important.)

Knowledge expansion (What I mean here is how are you continually developing your mind? Did you read any good books this year? What do you plan to read next year? I would challenge you to read a minimum of 6 books next year. That's only 1 book every two months. Some of you who read well and more quickly should read 12 books, one per month. Read in diverse areas as well. If you need suggestions, let me know.)

Church Life (The Lord opened the door for my family to team up with several other tremendous families to start a family integrated church in the Northwest Indiana/Chicagoland area, and with the basic structures put in place in 2011, we're believing 2012 will be a year of blessing and growth if we honor the Lord and follow where He leads. So I'll be praying and fasting for our new Church, New Hope Christian Fellowship, and would cherish your prayers for us as well. And, if you might be interested in visiting us, we'd be honored to have you as our guest!)

These are just some of the things that I've been thinking through for myself and for other men close to me. This is not an exhaustive list of areas that need addressing by men, it's just meant to get you thinking about next year. Consider it and send me your thoughts.

And oh yeah...Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

Merry Christmas to all friends of The Male Domain

from the Fuentes Family! (not pictured above)

2011 is almost done, and we look forward with
great anticipation to 2012!

Lord Bless You...

Single Christian Ladies and the Men Who Need to Marry Them

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 16:00:00 +0000

There's an epidemic in the church today of twenty-something year old young ladies who've never been courted, or have been asked for their hand in marriage, and this ought not be the case.

We need to train, and re-train, the young men in the church today in the art of taking a wife, and we dads, need to raise our young boys in such a way that will enable them to actively, and aggressively, pursue a young lady for the purpose of courtship and marriage. The family helps to ensure the future of the church, and a good, Godly family is an exceptional witness of the grace of God to a non-believing world.

Bible colleges and churches are filled with beautiful, intelligent, Godly gals, who are just waiting to be pursued by a strong, masculine young man with a compelling vision for his future family. While they're waiting, many young ladies are going all the way through college and beyond, and rather than wait any longer, they may opt for the mission field, pursue a career, or perhaps even settle for a "non-believer" because he simply pursued her. This is shameful, and a blight on unmarried Christian men. We must protect the daughters of God, and one way of protecting them is by marrying them!

I have a good friend who had fallen victim of the "de-fanging" that occurs to many young men once they become a Christian. They're told so often that those beautifully attractive young ladies are their sisters, and that Christians don't do things like non-Christians, and they should never do anything that might "mess up" the relationship if things don't work out, that they end up just observing them, and going to single events with them, until one day they see those ladies move away, go to another church, or marry someone they've settle for, and spend the rest of their lives with someone who doesn't have the kind of vision they always hoped their husband would've had. This occurs far too often, and it doesn't have to be this way. The problem with de-fanging the young men, is that, well, they're still men, with the same hormones, same desires, and same need of a Godly companion.

The rare exception to this would be those who God supernaturally calls to be single for their entire lives, for a very specific purpose that He's ordained. This is rare, but does occur. Unfortunately, the church is full of men who haven't been called to singleness, but haven't been equipped for marriage either. I hope to help change this!

The friend I spoke of was able to regain his "God-given aggressiveness" before it was too late, and went out and pursued the girl he wanted, and today they're happily married serving the LORD together in ministry. Him and I had some good talks about what steps he needed to take to see this come about, and I'll be sharing some of those thoughts in the next several posts.

Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:30:00 +0000

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

George Washington's actual signature

Characteristics of A Qualified Church Planter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:00:00 +0000

(The following article is copied from the Acts 29 Blog, and written

by Scott Thomas, President of Acts 29)

Seventeen Characteristics of a Qualified Church Planter

by Scott Thomas, President of Acts 29

Besides sharing one Barbie-sized bathroom with 287 people for six hours, the most difficult thing about flying is keeping up with the ever-changing TSA rules. They now use Imaging Technology that can scan a person's body for exploding underwear or exploding breast implants (seriously).

The qualifications for a pastor have been the same for almost 2,000 years. (Don't tell the TSA or they might mess with it.) Jesus came as the perfect fulfillment of this list of qualifications. He is the Chief Shepherd of the Church and we are the undershepherds.

Before you run a battery of tests to determine if you have the qualities of a church planter, make sure you are first qualified as an elder. I found 17 distinct qualifications for a church planter in Scripture. All elders are guilty to some degree of violating these qualifications. Examine whether this is a pattern of your behavior to fulfill the "above reproach" category.

Above Reproach
(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)

This is the overarching, summarizing characteristic. You will find similar (but not identical) lists in First Timothy and Titus. Living a life above reproach is the first requirement in both lists and Titus repeats it. The other items on the list merely explain what "above reproach" means. If we peruse the two lists, as well as First Peter, we find 17 qualifications of an elder who is above reproach.

1. A Pastor must be devoted to his wife; one-woman man (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:2).

The pastor's marriage illustrates Christ's love for His church—His bride (Eph. 5:22 ff.). A Pastor must love his wife exclusively with his mind, will and emotions and not just his body.

2. A Pastor's children must be in submission, though not perfect (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5).

If a man does not know how to manage his own family, he will not know how to take care of God's church. The first flock for a pastor is his own family as Pastor Dad. A Pastor's qualification for the church starts in his home management as he leads them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

3. A Pastor is a faithful Steward (Titus 1:7)

Here the term used is overseer (Greek episkopos). It is not another office, but a functional title of the elder. It is what he does. He is a steward, a manager of God's resources and Jesus' flock. He takes responsibility, but not ownership.

4. A Pastor must be humble - not arrogant (Titus 1:7)

A pastor must constantly demonstrate the gospel by admitting when he is wrong and assuming responsibility and restoring relationships.

5. A Pastor must be gentle - not quick-tempered (Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)

No man will be of any use in the kingdom that is quick-tempered. The difference between how Jesus demonstrated anger is that He was angry at the abuse of others in the name of religion and the dishonoring of God. We get angry at how it affects us.

6. A Pastor must be sober - not a drunkard (Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)

This is not just overindulgence in alcohol but is idiomatic for any behavior that fuels addictive responses.

7. A Pastor must be peaceful - not violent (Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)

A pastor is prone to inflict violence through his words. He is to be a peacemaker.

8. A Pastor must have financial integrity - not greedy for gain (Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Peter 5:3)

A pastor is to be upright in his financial dealings and not accused of pursuing money over the kingdom of God.

9. A pastor must be hospitable (Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2)

A pastor's home is to be open for others to enjoy. A pastor's home is not a heaven on earth, but rather a place of ministry.

10. A Pastor must be a lover of good (Titus 1:8)

A pastor genuinely loves what is good. He does not just think he should love it.

11. A Pastor must be self-controlled (Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2)

Self-control is a characterization of every area of a pastor's life: diet, time, mouth, exercise, relationships, sex, and money.

12. A Pastor must be upright (Titus 1:8)

He has integrity in his relationships and in how he treats others.

13. A Pastor must be holy (Titus 1:8)

His life is devoted wholeheartedly to Jesus externally and internally.

14. A Pastor must be able to teach (Titus 1:9; 1 Tim 3:2)

All of the other qualifications are character qualities. This is the only ability-based requirement. He is to be able to teach sound doctrine, not just be able to communicate in an excellent manner. His teaching can be to one or two, to twenty, to a hundred or to a thousand. Most of the churches in Crete were house churches. The elders were to defend the faith once delivered to the saints against the numerous false teachers that arose.

15. A Pastor must be spiritually Mature (1 Tim 3:6)

Positions of authority without spiritual maturity lead to the trap of pride. When pride grows in a man, sin abounds.

16. A Pastor must be respectable (1 Tim 3:7)

That does not mean that everyone must like him or even appreciate him. It means that there is no credible witness to an ongoing sinful behavior.

17. A Pastor must be an example to the flock (1 Peter 5:3)

Elders are examples of Biblical expressions sexually, time management, marriage, parenting, worship, relationships and any other way. A pastor should be someone your sons could pattern their life after and the kind of man your daughter should marry.

Conclusion
What would you do if an elder violates one of these requirements? 1 Timothy 5:19-20 warns us not to accuse an elder flippantly. Matthew 18:15-18 gives us the steps: 1) Go to the elder alone, 2) If still unsatisfied, go with another person, 3) If still unsatisfied, let the greater eldership know. If accusations are verified and the elder remains unrepentant, rebuking that elder before all is the next biblical step.

The Cross of Christ: No Hidden Agenda

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Some organizations and religions are very secretive and protective, only revealing information about their agenda to those who've joined them, or have sworn an oath not to disclose what they see and hear within the walls of their organization.

Christianity isn't anything like this.

In fact, Jesus revealed as mush as He could about His intentions for being with mankind during His earthly ministry, and the Bible speaks openly and honestly about so many topics to anyone willing to read it. Christianity doesn't hide anything.

Whether it's about mankind...

The nature of God...

Who Jesus was...

Why our world is sinful...

How God views sin...

God's remedy for sin...

The fact that we're all sinners...

We all need forgiveness for our sins...

And that Jesus Christ is the only way of salvation for all of mankind!

The truth of Christianity isn't blurred, obscured, or hidden to anyone. It's as open as it can possibly be, because God's desire is that all who are willing to repent of their sins and receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour, do so before they breathe their last breath on this earth.

No hidden agenda...

No secret rituals...

No blood oaths...

No special underwear!

Just the plain truth about mankind's condition and God's amazing grace!

We needed a Saviour, and God sent Jesus to be such...

We needed forgiveness for our sin, and God sent Jesus as the only means of receiving such...

We needed to know love, and God sent Jesus to demonstrate such...

We needed to know the truth, and God sent Jesus to reveal such...

"Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."" -John 14:6

Do you believe.......?

Gospel-Centered Hip Hop W/Eric Mason, Lecrae, and Trip Lee

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 05:31:00 +0000

Gospel-Centered Hip Hop from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

Raising Sons: Shaping Their Masculine Identity

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:00:00 +0000

In his book, Future Men, Douglas Wilson says, "Manhood is where boyhood should be aimed." With this in mind, I'd like to start my series about Raising Sons with a look at shaping our sons masculine identity.

Our boys should be brought up with a different mindset than our daughters; they should see themselves as soldiers for Jesus Christ, ready to fight the Lord's battles when needed, and ready to give their lives for the kingdom if called to do so. This won't happen by chance. If you let culture raise your boys, and you're hoping for good results, you might be waiting a loooong time. For a boy to grow up seeing himself as a Godly, masculine, soldier for the Lord, he's going to need help - he's going to need training.

In Future Men, Wilson talks about five aspects of masculinity that we should cultivate in our sons to help them fulfill their God-given role in the kingdom. They are; lord, husbandmen, savior, sage, and glory-bearer.

Lord: Men were created to rule and have dominion over the earth. They were to reign over all the living creatures, populate the earth, and cultivate the land. Many theologians call this the creation mandate, and look to Gen. 1:26-28 as their biblical authority. Our sons must be taught this creation mandate so they won't fall prey to the feminized culture that exists in our world today, and believe that men and women are no different from one another, children are an option in marriage, and women should look outside of the home for their real happiness and identity.

Husbandmen: Men are to be cultivators of what's around them, not just consumers of what exists. They are to learn how to reproduce, so that when one thing is consumed, another is being planted. Men build gardens and families, not just bridges and buildings. Let your boys play in your garden; teach them the cycles of life, and tell them how that reflects the nature of God.

Savior: There's only One True Savior, and that is, of course, Jesus Christ: but men were created to save things as well, and God placed within us a deep seeded desire to act in saving fashion for many things in this world. When a boys sees a villain in a movie, it's only natural for that boy to want to kill or defeat them. When he see's a dragon, or hears about the Great Dragon in Revelation, it's only natural for boys to want to kill or defeat it as well. They've been given a desire to save that which is less powerful - to save that which cannot save itself. A great way to let your boys cultivate this aspect of masculinity is to let them play with wooden swords and plastic guns when they're small, and as they grow, introduce them to real weapons as their maturity level rises.

Sage: A man is suppose to have wisdom, however, in our culture, wisdom isn't a virtue that many care to attain. Unlike Solomon, who chose wisdom over riches, most men alive would choose riches over wisdom, why, because they weren't raised to know better. We should be instilling in our sons nuggets of wisdom from the early stages of their childhood, and allow them opportunities to implement some decision making skills throughout their early adult lives so we can evaluate how we did. Acquaint your boys with the book of Proverbs, and the other wisdom literature in scripture to begin directing their paths and helping them understand life as God does.

Glory-bearer: "For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man." (1 Cor. 11:7) A boy must be taught to act like a man because he bears the image of God. He must not be allowed to express himself in a whiny, powty fashion that detracts from, and neuters, his masculinity. (For more about this click here) He's an image bearer, and with this great endowment comes great responsibility.

If we help our boys with these aspects of masculinity, we'll be well on our way to raising the kind of sons that will not only populate the kingdom of God, but impact it as well!

I HIGHLY recommend Doug Wilson's, Future Men,

for anyone given the blessed responsibility of raising sons!

Also recommended,

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(For more great resources on Raising Sons, go to this post.)

Direct VI. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Direct. VI

The husband must be the principal teacher of the family. He must instruct them, and examine them, and rule them about matters of God, as well as his own service, and see that the Lord’s day and worship be observed by all that are within his gates. And therefore he must labor for such understanding and ability as is necessary hereunto. And if he be unable or negligent, it is his sin and will be his shame. If the wife be wiser and abler, and it be cast upon her, it is his dishonor; but if neither of them do it, the sin, and shame, and suffering, will be common to them both.
Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.

Direct V. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Direct. V

The husband is to excel the wife in knowledge, and be her teacher in the matters that belong to salvation. He must instruct her in the word of God, and direct her in particular duties, and help her to subdue her own corruptions, and labor to confirm her against temptations; if she doubt of any thing that he can resolve her in, she is to ask his resolution, and he to open to her at home the things which she understood not in the congregation, 1 Cor. xiv. 35. But if the husband be indeed an ignorant sot, or have made himself unable to instruct his wife, she is not bound to ask him in vain, to teach her that which he understands not himself. Those husbands that despise the word of God, and live in willful ignorance, do not only despise their own souls, but their families also; and making themselves unable for their duties, they are usually themselves despised by their inferiors: for God hath told such in his message to Eli, 1 Sam. ii. 30, “Them that honor me, I will honor; and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.”

Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.

Dircect IV. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Direct. IV

Also you must preserve the honor as well as the authority of your wives. If they have any dishonorable infirmities, they are not to be mentioned by children and servants. As in the natural body we cover most carefully the most dishonorable parts, (for our comely parts have no need.) 1 Cor. xii. 23, 24, so must it be here. Children or servants must not be suffered to carry themselves contemptuously or rudely towards them, nor to despise them, or speak unmannerly, proud, or disdainful words to them. The husband must vindicate them from all such injury and contempt.
(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Direct III. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Direct. III

It is the duty of husbands to preserve the authority of their wives, over the children and servants of the family. For they are joint governors with them over all the inferiors. And the infirmities of women are apt many times to expose them to contempt: so that servants and children will be apt to slight them, and disobey them, if the husband interpose not to preserve their honor and authority. Yet this must be done with cautions as these: 1. Justify not any error, vice, or weakness of your wives. They may be concealed or excused as far as may be, but never owned or defended. 2. Urge not obedience to any unlawful of theirs. No one hath authority to contradict the law of God, or disoblige any form of his government. You will but diminish your own authority with persons of any understanding, if you justify any thing that is against God’s authority. But if the thing commanded be lawful, though it may have some inconveniences, you must rebuke the disobedience of inferiors, and not suffer them to slight the commands of your wives, nor to set their own reason and wills against them, and say, We will not do it. How can they help you in government, if you suffer them to be disobeyed?

(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Direct II. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Direct. II

The husband must so unite authority and love, that neither of them be omitted or concealed, but both be exercised and maintained. Love must not be exercised so imprudently as to destroy the exercise of authority; and authority must not be exercised over a wife so magisterially and imperiously, as to destroy the exercise of love. As your love must be a governing love, so your commands must all be loving commands. Lose not your authority; for that will but disable you from doing the office of a husband to your wife, or of a master to your servants. Yet must it be maintained by no means inconsistent with conjugal love; and therefore not by fierceness or cruelty, by threats or stripes (unless by distraction or loss of reason, the cease to be capable of the carriage otherwise due to a wife). There are many cases of equality in which authority is not to be exercised; but there is no case of inequality or unworthiness so great, in which conjugal love is not to be exercised; and therefore nothing must exclude it.

(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Direct I. by Richard Baxter

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:40:00 +0000

Direct I.

The husband must undertake the principal part of the government of the whole family, even of the wife herself. And therefore, I. He must labor to be fit and able for that government which he undertakes. This ability consists, 1. In holiness and spiritual wisdom, that he may be acquainted with the end to which he is to conduct them, and the rule by which he is to guide them, and the principal works which they are to do. An ungodly, irreligious man is both a stranger and an enemy to the chief part of family government. 2. His ability consists in a due acquaintance with the works of his calling, and the labors in which his servants are to be employed. For he that is utterly unacquainted with their business, will be very unfit to govern them in it: unless he commit that part of their government to his wife, or a steward that is acquainted with it. 3. And he must be acquainted both with the common temper and infirmities of mankind, that he may know how much is to be borne with, and also with the particular temper, and faults, and virtues of those whom he is to govern. 4. And he must have prudence, to direct himself in all his carriage to them; and justice, to deal with everyone as they deserve; and love, to do them all the good he can, for soul and body. II. And being thus able, he must make it his daily work, and especially be sure to govern himself well, that his example may be part of his government of others.

(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Special Duties of Husbands to Their Wives

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 12:00:00 +0000

The Special Duties of Husbands

to Their Wives

By Richard Baxter (1615-1691)

He that will expect duty or comfort from his wife, must be faithful in doing the duty of a husband. The failing of yourselves in your own duty, may cause the failing of another to you, or at least in some other way as much afflict you, and will be bitterer to you in the end, than if a hundred failed their duty to you. A good husband will either make a good wife, or easily and profitably endure a bad one. I shall therefore give you directions for your own part of duty, as that which your happiness is most concerned in.

Direct. I

The husband must undertake the principal part of the government of the whole family, even of the wife herself. And therefore, I. He must labor to be fit and able for that government which he undertakes. This ability consists, 1. In holiness and spiritual wisdom, that he may be acquainted with the end to which he is to conduct them, and the rule by which he is to guide them, and the principal works which they are to do. An ungodly, irreligious man is both a stranger and an enemy to the chief part of family government. 2. His ability consists in a due acquaintance with the works of his calling, and the labors in which his servants are to be employed. For he that is utterly unacquainted with their business, will be very unfit to govern them in it: unless he commit that part of their government to his wife, or a steward that is acquainted with it. 3. And he must be acquainted both with the common temper and infirmities of mankind, that he may know how much is to be borne with, and also with the particular temper, and faults, and virtues of those whom he is to govern. 4. And he must have prudence, to direct himself in all his carriage to them; and justice, to deal with everyone as they deserve; and love, to do them all the good he can, for soul and body. II. And being thus able, he must make it his daily work, and especially be sure to govern himself well, that his example may be part of his government of others.

Direct. II

Direct. III

Direct. IV

Direct. V

Direct. VI

Direct. VII

The husband is to be the mouth of the family, in their daily conjunct prayers unto God. Therefore he must be able to pray, and also have a praying heart. He must be as it were the priest of the household; and therefore should be the most holy, that he may be fit to stand between them and God, and to offer up their prayers to him. If this be cast on the wife, it will be his dishonor.

Direct. VIII

The husband is to be the chief provider for the family (ordinarily). It is supposed that he is most able for mind and body, and is the chief disposer of the estate. Therefore he must be specially careful, that wife and children want nothing that is fit for them, so far as he can procure it.

Direct. IX

The husband must be strongest in family patience; bearing with the weakness and passions of the wife; not so as to make light of any sin against God, but so as not to make a matter of any frailty as against himself, and so as to preserve the love and peace which is to be as the natural temper of their relation.

Direct. X

The manner of all these duties must also be carefully regarded. As, 1. That they be done in prudence, and not with folly, rashness, or inconsiderateness. 2. That all be done in conjugal love and tenderness, as over one that is tender, and the weaker vessel; and that he do not teach, or command, or reprove a wife, in the same imperious manner as a child or a servant. 3. That due familiarity be maintained, and that he keep not at a distance and strangeness from his wife. 4. That love be confident, without base suspicions, and causeless jealousies. 5. That all be done in gentleness and not is passion, roughness, and sourness. 6. That there be no unjust and causeless concealment of secrets, which should be common to them both. 7. That there be no foolish opening of such secrets to her as may become her snare, and she is not able to bear or keep. 8. That none of their own matters, which should be kept secret, be made known to others. His teaching and reproving of her, should be for the most part secret. 9. That he be constant, and not weary of his love or duty. This briefly of the matter.

Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.

Wilson, Driscoll Interview on Masculinity

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:02:00 +0000

If I had to point to two men I learned most of what I know about "Biblical' Masculinty, it would definitely be the two men in this interview: Douglas Wilson, and Mark Driscoll. Doug's books, and Driscoll's sermons were a fantastic one-two punch back in the day when the Lord started moving my heart toward Him and toward my family. I was excited to see these two Titans sharing the stage recently at Wilson's church for a conference they hosted. Do yourself a favor and take the time to learn from these Men!

Doug Wilson Interviews Mark Driscoll (Part 1) | Men & Masculinity from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

Encouraging Book on Motherhood--True Christian Motherhood

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 19:06:00 +0000

My wife has just launched the release of her NEW ebook, True Christian Motherhood! This is a wonderful book for moms, daughters, and singles. We highly recommend it!

Here is the description:

Women everywhere are looking for guidance, encouragement and vision. Gone are the days when we would have support from our community, friends and family. Being a mother in the 21st century can be a challenge for a Christian woman and many are looking for help...

Come be encouraged, and learn all that you would need to know about Christian motherhood. Here, you will be given life-changing vision that will change the way you view motherhood, your life, and the way you engage with your children forever.

Watch the video:

DOWNLOAD IT NOW for only $7.00!

Pay by PayPal or credit card--Instant digital download
PDF version

or get it on

KINDLE or NOOK!

And in celebration of the release of her new eBook, she is offering a super bundle giveaway to win a free copy of the book and some other amazing prizes!

Click here to join the party!

The Goodness of the Gospel

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 08:08:00 +0000

Are you a good person?

Before you answer, let me share a passage with you;

"None is righteous, no, not one;
no one understands;
   no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
   no one does good,
   not even one."

-Romans 3: 10-12

The word of God is sobering and spot on. If the words above bother you because you actually believe people are essentially good, and that humans aren't as bad as the Bible says they are, your being bothered is simply evidence that the above passage is true.

If you're honest with yourself, in the depths of your own soul, you know you're not a good person. You get mad easily, you don't always give to those in need, you don't live in the ghetto even though you can, you don't like being made fun of, you don't love everyone equally, you're a bit prejudice, you don't like Whites, or Blacks, or Latinos, or Asians, or some-other type of ethnicity. I don't say this to bash you, I just want you to be open and transparent with yourself, and with God.

O' Wretched Man That I Am

People tell me I'm a "good man" from time to time just because I take care of my family; i.e., spending time with my kids, taking them out to visit people and places, living with them, working to support them, and loving my wife. How shallow is it to say I'm "good" without knowing my heart....

Well, God knows my heart, and we see what he thinks of humans who are seeking to be good on their own. God doesn't call anyone "good" in the Bible, in the same we say people are good. God knows that apart from giving your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, He has no choice but to sentence you to eternal damnation because He is a 'just and holy' God.

^"And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." -Revelation 20:15

Revelation 20:15 is a very sobering verse, isn't it. It states the fact that all will be judged, and that any hoping or desiring to enter into eternal bliss, must have their names written in a special book known as 'the book of life.' God has set the rules for eternity and no one has the authority to change them. Not Buddha, not Mohamed, nor any other religious figure who has ever made an appearance in the landscape of human history. The God of the Bible has said that "anyone" wishing to be saved for all eternity MUST have their names written in the book of life.

The Good of the Gospel

So, the million dollar question is: How does one get their name written in the book of life? Here's how the Bible says it happen...

^"And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved." -Acts 4:12 (Referring to Jesus Christ in context)

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8: 37-39

"The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." -Romans 10: 8-10

No matter how you've lived to this point in your life, God extends an offer of salvation to you....

Will you accept?

Be blessed

If you haven't seen this, I think you'll find truth in it.....

The Decline of the Nuclear Family

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 10:00:00 +0000

Here's a nice piece on the decline of the traditional (or should I say, Biblical) family, taken from The Resurgence blog, and written by Nick Bogardus.

At the end of article are some links to sermons that every Christian should listen to.

Enjoy!

A Massive Culture Shift
There is a massive shift happening right now in our culture. The ink and pixels that have spilled on the change are markedly hopeless and without answers. To see the tip of the iceberg, we only need to look at the LA Times from last month. The nuclear family is now the minority of households in California.
“New census figures show that the percentage of Californians who live in “nuclear family” households - a married man and a woman raising their children - has dropped again for the last decade, to 23.4% of all households. That represents a 10% decline in 10 years, measured as a percentage of the state’s households. Those households, the Times analysis shows, are being supplanted by a striking spectrum of postmodern living arrangements: same-sex households, unmarried opposite-sex partners, married couples who have no children…new sorts of households - blended families; bands of middle-class singles who live and vacation together; families that were once called “broken” - are increasingly the standard.” LA Times, US Census Data Show California Families Changing, June 22, 2011

Actors in Limbo
What it means to be a family is being re-defined, largely by a tectonic shift in gender roles. In the Wall Street Journal, Kay Hymotitz argued that because women are moving ahead more quickly and in greater numbers in our advanced knowledge economy, that husbands and fathers are now optional. This, she says, has created a situation in which today’s pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn’t say, and in which most men in their 20s hang out in a "novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance."

"Perhaps the things that really need redeeming are the church’s lack of a voice in what it means to be a man or woman."

Untethered, Lost, Mute, and Passive
In Hanna Rosin's article in the The Atlantic entitled “The End of Men,” she paints a nearly identical picture of the alpha-female dominating mute and passive males. “He can be sweet, bitter, nostalgic, or cynical, but he cannot figure out how to be a man. 'We call each other man,’ says Ben Stiller’s character in Greenberg, 'but it’s a joke. It’s like imitating other people.'”
The New York Times described this new "emerging adulthood" as a block box where 20-somethings delay reaching adulthood, often until their 30s.

The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain untethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life.

Don't Focus Just on the External
Of course that is true in the church, only you can replace the Teach for America jobs with short-term missions trips. For all of the time and energy spent on “redeeming the arts”, “redeeming cities”, and everything else we want to attach the word "redeem" to, perhaps the things that really need redeeming are the church’s lack of a voice in what it means to be a man or woman. Exerting so much effort on people’s activities is only addressing externals, symptoms. Chances are if a guy can be a man who loves Jesus, reads his Bible, gets a job, leaves his parent’s house, and loves one woman, then he will also be effective wherever God has called him, be that the arts or in business.
One important thing that needs to be pointed out about this cultural shift described in the articles above is that it is turning us into autonomous individuals. Mrs. Hymotitz even went so far as to say that husbands and fathers are optional in this new economic paradigm. While we might bandage the need for relationship with loosely-defined friendships, these float on the surface of lives marked by selfishly avoiding commitments, being untethered to romantic partners, or permanent homes.

"Perhaps the most loving, most prophetic thing the church can do is to call men in their 20s to love Jesus, read their Bibles, get a job, to leave their parent’s house, and to love one woman."

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
In the face of the confusion, hopelessness, and lack of any answers from our culture, one of the most radical things the church can call Christians to is back to God’s design for men and women. Men and women were created to cultivate and steward God’s creation—to rule over it as his representatives. But what is often underemphasized is that we were created to do that together. God made men and women in complementary ways to reflect his trinitarian nature, his covenantal love in marriage, and his authority and submission in the church. This ultimately points toward the unity that will exist when Jesus comes back for the bride he loves. All of this is his love towards us.

The Call
Perhaps the most loving, most prophetic thing the church can do is to call men in their 20s to love Jesus, read their Bibles, get a job, to leave their parent’s house, and to love one woman—according to the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and the New York Times, no one is doing that.

Again, take the time to listen to these sermons. They were foundational to the life change that occurred in my life when they were first preached, it took me hours to download them on my 'dial-up' connection.

Women and Femininity by Mark Driscoll

Men and Masculinity by Mark Driscoll

Celebrating Children by Mark Driscoll

For a list of good books on the subjects discussed, click here to view my resource page!

The Essence of Feminine Godliness

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 14:48:00 +0000

I was given the blessed opportunity to guest post at Far Above Rubies: a blog that promotes and defends Biblical Womanhood. Thanks to my friend, Jasmine, for allowing me to share with her readers.

Click here to read my post on 'The Essence of Feminine Godliness!'

Jurisdictional Authority

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:49:00 +0000

God has set jurisdictional boundaries in all areas of life; whether it's at work, home, church, or in the neighborhood, we must understand and respect the the jurisdictions that exist within our lives. You might be wondering what I mean by 'Jurisdictional Authority,' so let me give you a brief description that might help you gain a better understanding of what many have failed to grasp.

Jurisdictional authority simply means that there are areas of life you have no authority in, and if you try having authority there, you'll quickly find yourself face-to-face with those who actually do have authority in that area, and in opposition to God's established structure. For instance; at work you have no authority over your peers, but your supervisor does. If you try telling your peers what to do, they'll resist you and you'll soon be standing at attention in the bosses office. Or at church, you might try disciplining another member of the church for sin, but might not be in a position of Elder or Deacon, and the actual Elders and Deacons might come down on you for over-stepping your boundaries.

Speak to the Parents, not the Child
Another area that we must understand and respect jurisdictional authority in is the area of family. If you're not the parent, know your limitations. You may have wonderful ideas for what someone's child should be doing with their life, talents, and treasures, but to try and persuade that child to do it without speaking to their parents first is not acceptable. The age of the child does have some bearing on when it's appropriate to speak to them without having spoken to the parents however. If the child is in their twenties, that's one thing, but if they're still teens or younger, that's another entirely. The bible says nothing about 'your 18 now, you're an adult.'

As well, I believe gender plays a role in deciding when it's appropriate to approach a child with your plans for them without having spoken to the parents. I believe if a daughter is living at home, she is under her father's covenant headship, and the proper way to address the daughter with significant plans like where to work, go to church, who to court, etc., should absolutely be brought to the parents attention first, and especially the father who God has placed over that daughter until she's married.

With sons, it's a little different. Boys should be groomed to be Priests, Prophets, Providers and Protectors, and because of this, should be given more opportunity to choose the right path for themselves in their early twenties even if they're living at home. They don't need a father's protection in the same way a daughter does, so their releasing, if you will, from the father's covenant protection should come about sooner rather than later. To protect a boy for too long will thwart his spiritual growth and leave him in a state of arrested development as a leader.

Know Your Own Authority
Jurisdictional authority exists because God put it in place. Know your boundaries and respect those who have God given authority where you have none. As well, know your authority and use it to guide and direct the affairs of your life with grace and wisdom.

Let me know what you think on the subject, and whether you agree or disagree, and why. I'd love to dialogue on the matter. Grace and Peace!

Leadership

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:02:00 +0000

"The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves."

Bringing Back the Hat

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00:00 +0000

My friends over at The Art of Manliness website have an interesting article about the demise of male hat wearing, and some examples of masculine hats, should you so desire to wear one. Click here to read!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

noreply@blogger.com (Steve) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again.

Wisely improve the present, it is thine.

Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow