The Masterpiece Mom

You Run Your Race and I’ll Run Mine

by Leave a Comment

Yesterday in church, our pastor took a moment to speak directly to the fathers in our congregation. He didn’t preach a Father’s Day sermon, but as the service closed, he spurred the dads on to be their child’s greatest source of encouragement, and someone their children gravitate toward.

Even though it was directed at the men, it hit me right between the eyes.

I absolutely desire for Jeremy and I to be our kids’ greatest source of earthly encouragement. But are we?

Do they gravitate toward us? Toward him? Toward me?

If not, or not in certain ways, why not?

How are we training them to steer clear of us, seeking validation and kindness in other people or things?

Are we encouraging our kids toward a Christ-following life, rather than a great big set of rules that stifle?

How are we nit-picking, controlling, and hovering?

These are some questions I’ve been asking myself as I seek to be a greater encouragement to my kids. Our culture and world can be so cruel and crushing to our children. Shouldn’t we be the ones who build them up?

How can we create an atmosphere of safety and hope and encouragement right here in our homes while we have these children for these years?

This is something I’ll continue to ponder. What can we do today to be the champions of our children?

Let’s share our ideas together in the comments. Finish this sentence:

To encourage, rather than discourage my child/children, today I will _______________________________.

See the Light, Be the Light

by Leave a Comment

“Here come the sun, here comes the sun, and I say, it’s all right. Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say, it’s all right.”  — HERE COMES THE SUN (The Beatles)

Here in Alaska, we are celebrating the abundance of LIGHT. The sun came up at a bright and cheery 4:15 am this morning. And thanks to summer solstice, it won’t be saying its goodbyes until around 11:40 pm or so. Totally crazy, I know.

Every day we are gaining light. The trees and leaves love it. The gardens love it. The grass and the flowers love it, as do we all. Soaking in its rays and basking in its warmth. Reaching leaves and fingers toward heaven. Our souls coming alive, birthing hope and saying farewell to hibernation.

Makes me think of our response as believers. To the Light. To the Son. Yes, we will rejoice when He comes to earth again. But what will we do in the meantime while we wait for the Light to return?

For time is fleeting and we want to make these moments count.

And while we’re looking for ways to live each day to its fullest, let’s teach our children the power of being a light in a dark world. The power of contrast. The power of our Redeemer — the Light of the World.

Let’s show our children by our words and actions the impact of being a city set on a hill; a lamp on a lampstand; strong believers who will stand firm, no matter what, even in the midst of darkness, because we are fueled by the ultimate Source.

I know, I know. It all sounds very shiny and sparkly, and maybe a bit Pollyanna-ish. Honestly, how can we realistically be light givers? Just one evening of watching the news makes us want to crawl under a blanket and not come out. Like ever.

Thankfully we don’t have to manufacture all this light on our own. We are simply reflecting that which is already in existence.

We can mirror the Light by staying in close proximity to it. That means plugging into God’s Word, listening to His Spirit, and leaning in close to His Heart. Allowing His hands to shape and form how we think and act. From everything we talk about and sing about, to what we surf on the web.

That means living it out. Every day. In the nitty gritty. In the good. And in the hard. Not in a “Hey look at me — I’m so holy” kind of way. But rather a humble walk defined by faithful steps in the every day. Looking to Him for direction. Eyes fixed on Him. Ear pressed to His Word, listening for what He would have for us today.

Being a light doesn’t mean a state of perfection. It simply means shining for Him. Like a flashing firefly on a warm summer night. Stick us in a jar and we’ll glow Jesus. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.)

The darker our world becomes, the more the need for light is apparent.

So let’s utilize today and leave a memorable mark. For those He puts in our path. For our children. For our community. For our world.

See the Light.

Receive the Light.

Be the light.

P.S. – For those of you curious about the phenomenon of summer solstice and what that looks like for Alaskans, here’s a breathtaking VIDEO revealing the majesty and creativity of our God.

When We’re Tempted to Take Our Kids’ Behavior Personally

by 4 Comments

 

I’m sitting here having just sent a young person to bed for an early nap because she did the very thing I warned her not to do.

Before she decided to make the poor choice, I explained what her consequence would be if she engaged in the behavior. It’s one we’ve been working on all year. Even after our discussion, she decided to do it anyways, so she bought herself a nap. Boo.

Here’s where I’ll lean in close and remind us of a few things. 

Sometimes we’re tempted to get overly upset at our child and fixate on their misbehavior or blame ourselves for their actions.

“What was she thinking? Why does she do this to herself?”

“When will she ever learn?”

“She will never change.”

or

“If only I hadn’t made the consequence so strict!”

“Maybe I should have given her one more chance — shown more grace!”

“It’s my fault for trying to work on something while the kids need me. If I was more attentive, she would have made a better choice.”

Both attitudes are focused on the wrong thing.

Our child’s choices are not our fault.

The only exception I’ve seen to this is a parent who doesn’t monitor media (shows, music, internet use), they don’t monitor their own speech, and they do not monitor who their child is with. In these cases, us parents reap what we sow.

That sounds harsh, but I’ve seen it time and again. Your child will not be able to raise him or herself and turn out well without a bunch of scars and damage. Children do not know how to self-monitor.

That being said. I imagine you’re a mom, much like me, who is trying so hard to do this mothering thing well. We screw up, yes, but we truly want to honor God as a mom.

With this in mind, the poor choices our children make even with all of the love, intentionality, and training we can provide are not our fault.

This is our child learning how to be a person.

This is our child testing the edges of the boundary lines.

This is our child learning to live with consequences. A reality that will serve them well in the future.

This is our child growing in knowledge of their own sinful natures.

This is our child seeing their need for a Savior.

Just like we had to do. And continue to do ourselves.

The guilt we heap on ourselves, the endless questioning of our actions and motives, and the way we pounce on our own mess-ups is heartbreaking.

When we’re tempted to take our kids’ behavior personally, just remember they had a choice. And will continue to have choices. Rather than blame ourselves, or react harshly toward our kids, let’s instead seek to be tender and gentle guides as they navigate the world of choices.

Since blaming and over-reacting are some of my parenting superpowers, this will prove to be extremely difficult. But I’m willing to walk a different path, one paved with God’s grace and loving-kindness. One I believe will serve us as moms and them as kids a whole lot better.

When the Winds of Change Threaten to Blow

by Leave a Comment

I am not a newbie to change. 12 years ago I was a crying young bride moving away from my family and friends in Washington State, driving off to the wild unknown of Alaska. And yet here I am today still fighting the new, shirking back into the shadows as I see potential impending alterations to the comfortable world around me.

But this time around, I want to be proactive in the change. I want to believe fully and trust deeply. Keeping my eyes fixed on His plans, His timing, His ways.

For His ways are higher than my ways.

How about you? Have you ever gone through a season of change? Are you there now? Does the new and different scare the socks right off of you too? Maybe you’re facing a close friend being diagnosed with cancer. Or there’s a sudden job shift. An unexpected pregnancy. Or an upcoming move.

I’ll tell you what I’m telling me.

We don’t have to be scared of what is to come because we know WHO holds the future. The God who was. The God who is. And the God who will be. The Great I Am.

He doesn’t change. Not one iota. In fact, Hebrews 13:8 says He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

We can trust today the promises of tomorrow because of who He is and what He has done.

He has proven Himself to be a faithful Father. {If you’re unsure about this, grab your bible and sink your teeth into the stories of Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Esther and David. And those are just to get you started, barely scratching the surface of seeing God’s hand in the midst of crazy circumstances.}

A word of warning however for those of you willing to jump on board this trusting train. When you are determined to totally yield yourself to His will and His will only, things can get a little crazy.

He may ask you to do the unbelievable. The unthinkable. That unexpected scary new thing.

He may stretch you beyoooond what you thought your limits could or would be.

But the thing is this. We can trust His heart. We know He is a good God that has good plans for His children.

And although the change may feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable (like an unwashed stiff new pair of jeans), it’s going to be okay.

Let’s lean in to whatever He might have for us. The hard. The new. The different.

Let’s set our sights high and hold on tight, clinging to the Giver of Life. For this may just be the wildest ride of our lives.

Are you ready?

“Sometimes you must leave the comforts of what is

to embrace the potential of what will be.”

Kristen Strong – Girl Meets Change

 

Changing Me Because I Can’t Change Them

by 4 Comments

 

I can be really judgmental about my kids’ behavior.

It’s something I’m trying to be intentional about changing.

They sin differently than me at times. They sin the same as me at times.

But for some reason, I get it in my head that I need to fix them rather than fix me.

We’re moms — so we train, we teach, we love, and we lead, and we should expect obedience from our kids, but sometimes we blur those lines and act as if we’re responsible for their choices and the outcome of our training, teaching, loving, and leading.

That was a mouthful. Basically, we’re responsible for teaching the correct way, they’re responsible for their response.

I spend so much time wishing my kids would change their behavior (because honestly it makes my life a whole lot easier) that I forget I can change my reaction to and thoughts about it instead of fixating on fixing them.

I think we know that all the nagging, pleading, and frustration in the world will not change our kids’ actions.

It comes from a heart that desires change.

Discipline sometimes works, but not always (as I’ve seen firsthand with some of my kids). But it doesn’t mean we give it up. Consistent and loving discipline is the wise and proper course for godly parents. Regardless of the response or results, we must remain consistent and loving extending real-world consequences for misbehavior.

As we move into breezy summer days, may we relax our grip on controlling our kids’ actions, and abide in Christ-like unconditional love and consistency, regardless of the outcome.

It’s Time You Clothed Yourself in Truth

by 8 Comments

I sat starting at a blinking cursor and accompanying blank page for far too long trying to piece together a blog post in my mind, but nothing came. I’m just tired. Extremely tired.

The sight of a blank screen looking back at me cues the sleepy eyes, not the creative juices.

Then I remembered you’re probably tired too. I say probably a bit sarcastically, because of course you are! I realized neither of us need to read one more thing when we’re this tired. But we do need to pray. Oh Lord, we need to pray.

So let’s do that. Let’s cry out to the Lord with our whole tired selves who’d much rather be hunkered down in bed with a fuzzy blanket than making lunches and breaking up fights. Let’s pray to the One who makes all things new (Isaiah 43:19) and renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31).

If you need a prompt because your brain is too tired to think, I invite you to pray this prayer with me.

……

Heavenly Father,

I know I don’t have to tell you, because you already know, but I’m bone tired today. My body is weak, my brain can’t think, and I’m overwhelmed. 

Mothering well on top of all that is going on is proving to be difficult, and I need you. Thank you for your presence to comfort and to guide. 

You are the Great I AM, the Great Physician, and the Good Shepherd, so I know I’m in your good and holy hands. Thank you for your infinite power, healing hand, and watchful eye over me, my life, and my family. 

Today I ask for strength. Please forgive me for attempting to get through this season on my own power. Your Name is a strong tower. I run into it today, where I am safe (Proverbs 18:10). 

I also ask in Jesus’ Name for the enemy to be bound, and for my soul to be free from his attacks. May all his plans fail. Your Name, Lord is higher than any other name (Phillipians 2:9), no enemy of yours will ever prosper (Isaiah 54:17).

I praise you for who you are. The unstoppable, ever-loving, uber-creative, and all-powerful God who loves me. THANK YOU. I could never repay you for the gift of Jesus, who took my place and my sin, but I will live my days as an offering to you. 

In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen

 

……

We invite you to share this prayer with the moms you know. After all, we’re all tired. Amen?

Episode 51 – Things We’d Tell Our Young Mom Self

by 2 Comments

Today on the show we’re discussing all the things we’d tell ourselves if we could go back to the starting line of motherhood. Being a mom is hard work, and sometimes we get so caught up in the here and now, that we don’t often take the time to pause and consider what we’d do differently. Well, here’s our chance!

We’re so happy you’re here and hope you have a beautiful Mother’s Day weekend! xo

(Thank you to all who commented on our recent blog post about this. Your feedback matters and is a such a gift to our listeners. We sure appreciate you! And congratulations to LEAH FREE who is the winner of The Mother Letters book giveaway.)

{Is the player not visible in your email? Click the Listen Now button above.}