the meditative muse

2011-11-13T07:59:00.001-06:00

HOPE

Hope is a word

and a feeling.

It embodies dreams

and wishes. It lives

beyond our lifetimes

and into the next.

Hope is HOT.

It is desire, healing, and heartiness

Hope is original.

My hopes may not be yours

It is obstreporous, clinging

to one in spite of the odds.

Hope is Pink and Purple.

Pugilistic and Pithy.

Hope can obliterate pain

and penury.

Hope is effervescent and eager.

It is elegant and ethereal. Hope is love.

Little Mama

2011-11-12T19:57:00.001-06:00

Little Mama, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

There are so many ways to love one another. I struggle daily with people around me that rationalize their hatred and disdain for others. There are those that hate the poor (maybe a reminder of how close they are to that edge). I see those who hate those who are not part of their clan (racial, ethnic, economic, educational, familial). It is difficult for me because I just do not understand. Is it politics? Is it national pride? Is it arrogance? I do not know. Help me understand.

Christmas Countdown

2011-11-02T22:14:00.001-05:00

We (meaning my wife) finally coaxed the three of us into putting up a Christmas tree. First time in many years that we have not made it out to the lot to fuss and argue over cedars, pines and spruces. Fake tree, ugly tree. We are only home a few days this holiday season because we are taking much needed breaks from school and work.

We are working at getting into the spirit of this important holiday season. There is just so much stuff. Medical procedures, picking out new phones for my recalcitrant teen, work, family, shopping, dogs, photography workshops, portrait sessions, freebies for friends and family. Recent works adorn this page.

What Now

2011-11-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

We live in a place where we ostensibly have the right to disagree with our leaders. That seems to be an eroding right. If we disagree now, we are unpatriotic. What would the founding fathers have to say about our diminishing ability to dissent from the status quo. As I recall my history, this country was founded on the inalienable right to have an opinon that does not have to be sanctioned by the government. In this very nation as I write this we are challenging developing nations to take a look at their
civil rights abuses. Countries that live in glass houses should not launch stone nuclear warheads of mass destruction.

Rights

2011-11-02T22:12:00.001-05:00

Everyone has rights. As I understand it, my rights end right where your rights begin. My right to free speech ends somewhere in the vicinity of you engaging in slander or libel. My right not to hear you may end in my not getting the information from you that I may have needed to know. As long as I am focused on what I deserve I may have trouble thinking clearly about the other people involved in the "us".

Some people have responsibilities.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individual_responsibility
What are you responsible for?

2011-11-02T22:07:00.002-05:00

We have gotten through the surgery and now the recovery is in process. Her strength is returning and things are getting back to normal (as normal as life can be). I am hearing that same voice in my head that tells me 1) be careful what you say and 2) be care to whom you say it. That is not how I hope to live my life.

B/W Abstract # 15

2011-10-04T09:17:00.001-05:00

B/W Abstract # 15, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

heartquakes
dry tears
God forsakes
calmed fears
moving on
just ahead
quiet intense
sense of dread

yearn to laugh
don't know how
time's up anyhow
piper begs now
for his fee
pay now must you or me.

resolve better
once again
drop coins into tin.
piper gives short reprieve
full well knowing I decieve.

heartquakes
tears dry
wonder if I cry
soul dying
last chance gone
all left is one bone

heartquakes
moving earth
tears drying
life gives birth
once again try
you must
eternally until the dust

Hennepin Ave Bridge

2011-09-30T09:36:00.001-05:00

Hennepin Ave Bridge, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

____________________
Tired of the millstone
Mouse tired soul weary
Wall Street up and Main Street closed
Pundits and politicians on
Citizens hosed.

Work long to keep up
with the ever growing tasks
Do as told; no one dare ask
why? Be glad you work now
lots waiting for your job anyhow.
wages down profits up.
when will we know that
people matter more than this

stalemates and gridlock
good news policy shock
lie today recant later
speak about investigator
tell me what I want to hear
i will gladly lend my ear,
my cash, my soul, my fear.

Namakagon

2011-09-29T05:49:00.001-05:00

Namakagon , originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

So many broken hearts
Silly theories on the charts
Trying hard to hear the wind.
Think before you press send
Never more and seldom less
Wanting willing only best
Friend and foe; Jane and Joe.
What is there we should know?

Breaking hearts know all fear.
Waiting wanting just to hear
Having trying telling crying.
Soiled jeans, bruised knees
Laughing Crying Grinning Sneeze
Won't you play with me, please?

Argue this and project that
Is it round or is it flat?
Fading memories, tears dried now
Asking wondering if and how.
We can learn from our mistakes.
Broken hearts; no re-takes.

...and the band played on.

2011-08-04T06:13:00.001-05:00

Tendril, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

somewhere inside of ourselves we know the truth about the joblessness, the inequality that we see growing and the balkanization of the people of this country. the world is and has been watching us to see how we deal with our crisis. a crisis that we have been most influential in creating and sustaining. i think the world is aghast wondering how we stand (sit maybe more accuate) by and watch the implosion of a great economy and a magnificent country. people still want to come to the great US in order to have a better standard of living and opportunity to be successful.

i am thinking that we should not have to worry much longer about the influx of immigrants. the "trickle down" that we have been waiting for may be the destruction of the economy (as the world sees it) and the change in the river flow. there may now be better places to go than here. get your passports ready.

what else can change?

U2 - Just Singing in the Rain

2011-07-25T13:50:00.001-05:00

U2, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

I went to see U2 here in Minneapolis. I learned a few things about myself in the process. I like people more than I think that I do. I had an interesting challenge because the person I bought the ticket from is a conservative through and through. We often taunt each other during the week in Facebook conversations and discussions. I take the more progressive or liberal tack and push against the conservative ideas that he espouses. In reality we are not all that different.

I learned more about myself during this wet and wild concert than I could have imagined. Tolerance, patience, desire, comfort, calmness. Standing there in the rain I wanted to leave but did not want to disappoint. I was getting incredibly uncomfortable when it no longer mattered anymore. The wetter I get, the more peaceful I got. I could not see clearly because the rain was distorting my vision through my eyeglasses. The jacket was dripping cold into my sodden jeans. My feet were screaming at me to move them instead of standing there in the rain. But I was OK.

Then the rain stopped and the concert ended. We had a short walk back to the motorcycle and then a chilly ride back to his car and a brisk ride back home. I was elated. The music was great, the show was spectacular. The camraderie with the myriad strangers surrounding me was almost palpable. Enough said. "Singing in the Rain"

Moonlight on Superior

2011-07-17T20:12:00.001-05:00

Moonlight on Superior, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

ol·i·gar·chy
[ol-i-gahr-kee] Show IPA
–noun, plural -chies.
1. a form of government in which all power is vested in a few persons or in a dominant class or clique; government by the few.
2. a state or organization so ruled.
3. the persons or class so ruling.

He who has all the marbles makes the rules. Some boys just never grow up. Some never want to admit that they started the game with more marbles and some certainly do not want to admit that the rules they have created favor them! Let's all pretend the playing field is equal. Let's pretend that the rules don't change to fit the meant-to-be-intended winner.

to·tal·i·tar·i·an·ism
[toh-tal-i-tair-ee-uh-niz-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. the practices and principles of a totalitarian regime.
2. absolute control by the state or a governing branch of a highly centralized institution.
3. the character or quality of an autocratic or authoritarian individual, group, or government: the totalitarianism of the father.

I am taking my marbles and going home. If we don't play by my rules, then we can't play at all? I am sorry you weren't involved in establishing the rules. That is just the way that it is. The "rules makers" were fair and just and were able to see into the unknown future and anticipate your present situation. But you should not need special accomodations now, because that wouldn't be fair to the people who did all the people who played the game before you.

Do you have home insurance? Ever buy auto insurance and ask for a refund when you did not use it? Isn't Social Security an insurance/annuity plan that pays out if/when you need it?

Why is that if a business chooses to discriminate or not employ someone it is OK because businesses have the right to choose?

Are the "tax reformists" going to exclaim that we have too much spending next time, too and demand more tax cuts and less spending? What happens when there is no money for services, for roads, bridges and safety? Will we find a way to privatize our communities? Who will be served first then? Ask yourself these questions before you look at what needs to be cut next!

something or the other

2011-07-11T09:33:00.002-05:00

Mottled Pattern
Originally uploaded by lucienphoto

I am surrounded by unending conflict. I have it at home, in my community, and at my job. Everyone wants to blame someone else. My casework is exploding at my job because everybody needs to have it their way.

There does not appear to be an "us" in the midst of everyone looking after his/her own self interests. My wife is cancelling our vacation because she is feeling overwhelmed and is in conflict with someone close to us..No discussion, simply stating that she is cancelling the trip. I am determined not to interfere. I have expressed my opinion (which is not in agreement with her) but I will not interfere.

She is planning to take off for the weekend because she is all stressed out. She isn't asking for help; just waiting until she "feels" overwhelmed and "abandoning ship" for a couple of days. Oh well, I think I (we) will be OK.

State of MN is in shutdown mode because the Governor and the Legislature can't reach agreement. More of the same. I think it could be pulled off if we all started caring for each other. Take that!

Dimensions

2011-07-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about the complexity of the human being while pondering why the USA is caught in the whirlpool of persistent bickering. Sometimes we agree about this or that, but more often than not I think we don't use our full human potential for problem solving. I see that we have a technological dimension. We create and destroy using our technology. We put immense effort and money into developing our technology. We value technology. But we have other important dimensions that have not kept pace with our technology. We have a spiritual dimension. It is a mystical and unscientific portion of our completeness that we often minimize or ignore. We also have a cultural dimension. In this country we have cultural separateness and cultural togetherness. These sub-dimensions criss-cross each other as we continue to define our unique personal, and geographical cultures.

Our cultural and spiritual dimensions have not kept pace with our technology. I think it is part of the massive problem here.

Rain Slicked Streets of Minneapolis

2011-07-04T20:48:00.001-05:00

Rain Slicked Streets of Minneapolis, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

It is summer in Minneapolis. Hot days and warm nights. The AC runs and the compressor outside hums along. Mosquitos are starting to be a problem. The grass is growing. The early coolness and freshness of spring has turned into the ongoing problem of keeping cool, moving as much air around myself as I can. I sleep at night with a fan blowing. It gently rattles and reverberates on the cold tile of the en suite 1/2 bath.

I waken to some cooler air in the morning just after and sometimes just before sunrise. Twittering birds let me know that the day will be starting much like every other day. The falling rain whispers sibilantly and mutes the myriad sounds of bees and bugs.

A nice summer rain comes and cools the blistering humid day and makes the evening bearable. Friday comes and goes on the beginning of a holiday weekend. We start the weekend with hope that we will have fun. Dinner, movie, keeping cool. Saturday comes along and the anticipation of fireworks comes sneaking through the shades and curtains in the house.

Shut Down

2011-07-02T09:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Minnesota Citizens

It is with deep regret that I tell you that your government has ceased to function. Politicization of government has overshadowed the responsibilities of your duly elected representatives to lead and provide specific services to the populace. Demagoguery has taken your leaders by the brains and instead of sharing and caring we have the ever prevalent grabbing for the perceived last toy in the sandbox.

Your neighbors may be out of work for a spell. Do not worry about them because they should have been better prepared for this anticipated down turn in the economy. If they have been frugal they will have set aside a significant portion of their income for this rainy day. Corporate America pays a living wage for all who labor and toil, even though the evil government continues to over regulate, over tax and make extremely unrealistic demands on how this private entities should be managed.

Your church will likely pick up the slack for the dearth of services to the poor, needy, vulnerable and homeless. It is the Christian thing to do. Of course, you should have a say as to how your money is allocated because you would not wish to be implicit in funding abortions, divorce, drug abuse, homosexuality or terrorism. And it is unpatriotic to care for illegal aliens who are stealing jobs from our hardworking good Christian neighbors.

By the way, please feel free to come by and join us for the union-bashing, anti-government, 4th of July celebration being held now in our backyard because the state park is closed.

You've Got Mail

2011-06-25T09:56:00.000-05:00

The world has changed so much in the last 35 years since I graduated from high school. We have personal computers, smart phones, the internet, HDTV. As a society we have made huge technological leaps. Unfortunately, we have not made similar progress socially. The gap between haves and have-nots continues to grow. The poor become more isolated and desperate. The rich live the lives of kings and sultans. If our older societies can teach us anything, we should pay attention to what the media has called the "Arab Spring". The people fight the awful, life-consuming oppression and choose death or uncertainty before slavery. Since we do it better and faster here in the US, we are likely to reach this point in an accelerated fashion as well. We are the new age of "de". We are de-funding some program or another, finding ways to destabilize economies, decreasing this or that. Imagine if we were making investments in ourselves, our neighbors, our cities, our communities.

Highway to ...

2011-05-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you are sure that you are doing the right thing. Saving money, spending little on yourself. Then someone tells you that they hate you; that they feel like you do not show them enough respect. It is like being at work all over again. Someone always testing your limits. Making sure that they keep you emotionally raw and confused.

It does not take much these days to disrupt a night of sleep. Fumble for the couch and a pillow so that you don't disturb all the other people in the house. All you can really do is scratch your head in awe and watch the mayhem unroll.

Now instead of feeling rested and prepared to again descend into the rabbit hole, I am weary and bone-tired, knowing that I am going to court tomorrow with all the posturing, pretending and pusillamity. I will be OK. I will be OK.

Waiting

2011-05-29T07:50:00.001-05:00

Waiting, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

I really love to watch people waiting. We wait in line. We wait for others. We wait to do things. I wonder what goes on in the mind of the waiter. I was waiting for someone at the train station, watching others waiting for someone also. This one just captured me.

Pink and Green

2011-05-26T07:56:00.001-05:00

Pink and Green, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

If wisdom and diamonds grew on the same tree we could soon tell how much men loved wisdom. ~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911

More Is Not Always Better

2011-05-19T08:48:00.000-05:00

Every day I go to work. Every day I touch lives. Every day I make a difference.

I can't always be sure that this is the day that will change all this.

I do know that I can choose to give my all or simply do a half-baked job.

Do what you can with what you have.

Don't worry about some or all if you have already done your best.

Most often we will have another chance to excel.

Beatrice Meets Joe Jones

2011-05-15T07:58:00.000-05:00

I spent part of the day reading Anne Lamott's Joe Jones. An artful and happy look into the lives of people's lives intersecting at a cafe. Part of the smile on my mother's face may have been the story itself, but I think she found real joy in hearing a voice she knows speaking to her. It was not the TV, or the radio. It was a voice that her mind knows. A voice she can resonate with through the fog of her age and illness. It is a voice that she has heard change. It is the voice of love.

Turn off the TV and open a book. Read for yourself, read to your children (or somebody's children) and read to your parents. Opening a book can open your mind. Opening a book can take you to new places. Opening a book can ease your pain, give you laughter and joy. Opening a book can enable you to experience life through the eyes of another.

Atlanta

2011-05-14T08:14:00.000-05:00

I am visiting with my mother in Atlanta for a few days. I was here last year about the same time and my sister took me for Chinese food to a fantastic restaurant. I can't remember what I had last year for the main course, but I do recall having the Garlic Shrimp Rolls for an appetizer. The staff seem to know their clientele and greet them by name. The service is impeccable with a wonderful bar or table seating arrangement. The lighting is soft and conducive to conversation and the noise level is quite reasonable.

I ate the Curry Chicken last night. The vegetables were crisp, the spices fresh and not overwhelming. The chicken was excellent quality and the presentation wonderful. I highly recommend stopping by for a pleasant dining experience.

Frost

2010-12-20T09:47:00.001-06:00

Frost, originally uploaded by lucienphoto.

I live in a world that is a total paradox. I want my children to be self-sufficient and self-reliant. They have access to information on the internet and through their smart phones. They have opportunities that I could only dream of. That is my reality.

Their reality is completely different. I do not understand it in the least. My daughter who is now 16 and counting does not work, will not lift a hand around the house for anyone other than herself. She refuses to engage in discussion or conversation UNLESS she wants something. She wants a ride to the credit union to get holiday shopping money (I put the allowance directly into savings for both kids). I told her she would have to find something to do for at least a couple of hours so I can work some today. Her response, total disgust and surprise. "What am I going to do?" My response, "Maybe you could get your shopping done, as you will be in DT Minneapolis!" She walked away.

When they ask a simple dictionary or reference question, I refer them to the appropriate "app" on the smart phones they both use. If they want to discuss something I am happy to offer an opinion...but my job is not to give answers. I think my job is to 1) provide them with access to the information (our house is completely wireless and both have their own laptops) and, 2) help them think through where, how and why the answer might be what they found.

But I guess I am alone in this. Creative thought and desire for knowledge appear to have fled the scene. Hope we can track it down.

Togetherness

2010-11-30T07:29:00.000-06:00

We try to be nice to each other. We act as if there really is a relationship with my teenaged daughter, but we can't really communicate with each other. We have different agendas. My agenda involves preparing her to leave our house, with all the skills and resources she needs to be successful. Try as I might, I am not able to persuade her that getting a job and getting her life "organized" is a good start. I know that today I will get a frantic phone call from her, asking me to deviate from my schedule in order to accomodate her. I give her the tools she needs, and she chooses not to use them. I give and she takes. I suggest and she ignores. I plead and she cries harrassment. I ask and I am put on hold. Everything is more important than the relationship that I have groomed over the years. She threatens to leave and I challenge her to hit the bricks. It is not what I want, but the anger and frustration boils over inside and I let out the hurt.