the midnight muser

Going Back To Where It All Began...

2012-02-04T01:23:00.001+08:00

Indulge me. Let's walk down memory lane...
(Click on the links below)

APHC Singapore 2007

Snapshots APHC 2006

Effie Moments - APHC 2006

Moments with our Discipler - APHC 2006

The Birth of the Dream

Singapore, I'll see you again... soon...

Waiting to hear anew from You.

A Note To My Future Husband...

2012-02-01T01:27:00.000+08:00

... Thank Ate Jot for making me the woman I have become. IT'S ALL HER FAULT. :p

Happy birthday to my Beloved Discipler.

I love you oh so much.

Happy New Beginnings!

2012-01-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

Merry CHRISTmas :)

2011-12-25T01:22:00.000+08:00

Beyond the manger, I see the CROSS. Love amazing.

May that love compel us to love Him with all that we are and with all that we have. To live for His pleasure alone. Until we see Him face-to-face someday soon in eternity...

Making Waves in Cagayan De Oro

2011-11-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

Everybody Needs A Friend

2011-10-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

Teddy with his friend atop the "Garden Tomb", believed to be an alternate site of Jesus' tomb in Jerusalem. Photo taken last March 2008.

Teddy* found a friend in Israel. :)

*Teddy is the midnight muser's official travel buddy. He's been to Israel, Singapore, and many parts of the Philippines. Watch out for his travel escapades. "Teddy Travels" soon... :)

He Saves

2011-10-15T02:22:00.001+08:00

God is able to save...

but even if He does not...

Though reason fail,

tears blur my sight,

pain numbs my heart

and fear grips my soul...

His truth.

His love.

His grace.

I choose.

God still saves.

Old Flame

2011-10-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

Because I am rekindling the flame of an old love affair...

... and yes, this is part of my birthday/Christmas wishlist. ~wink~

Of Dreams and Of Fears

2011-10-10T23:16:00.002+08:00

You know how dreams reveal your biggest fears?

Like when I was a student, I used to dream of not studying for an exam. Or as a young professional, I have dreams of coming unprepared for a speaking engagement.

Funny how dreams evolve as we grow older.

Last night, I dreamed it was my wedding day, and on the very last-minute, I realized I haven't written my marriage vow yet! PANIC!

It would have been nice if I saw my groom's face. Oh well. Dreams.

Wavemakers: Toddler No More

2011-10-07T16:34:00.000+08:00

Think Different. Think Eternity.

2011-10-07T02:29:00.001+08:00

Today, a great man passed away and the whole world mourns. Yet everyday, many die unnoticed. It is the life we live that makes the difference in our death. Steve Jobs lived in such a way bent to make a "dent in the universe". His life and accomplishments as a revolutionary, a genius, are perhaps immortalized in the minds and hearts of many, whose lives have, in one way or another, been changed because of his creations.

And yet I wondered, in a week or two, his death will just be yesterday's news. Perhaps, his name will be estranged to the generations to come. He will just be another man who lived and died. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14) All his accomplishments, great as they may be, will one day be obsolete. Forgotten. I do not wish to demean Steve Jobs nor belittle his legacy. If anything, he is admirable for his passion to challenge the status quo, to "think different". But everything does come into perspective in light of eternity. Think eternity.

Today, I choose to live a life of eternal significance. I may leave this world someday in obscurity, without a claim to fame, only to be forgotten. But I pray, I live my life passionately, making Jesus' name more famous. To live for His renown.

Learning to Teach

2011-10-04T23:22:00.002+08:00

(Because it's World Teachers' Day, I decided to post an excerpt from one of my reflection papers in my CE major class last year. Consider this, my tribute to all teachers - to my mom, especially, for being my first teacher and for unknowingly inspiring me to be one.)

I have always been a good student. Let me rephrase that statement. Modesty aside, I have always been THE best student. I don’t know how I got so competitive in class, but throughout my academic years, my only motivating force was to be on top. So I was. Academic excellence became my life, my identity.

I have the deepest respect for teachers. While my peers called our teachers with nasty nicknames, as objects of scorn and ridicule, I would consciously distance myself from such juvenile deeds.

Perhaps, my mom being an English professor influenced much of my attitude towards learning and towards relating to my teachers. Growing up, I and my two sisters spent particular days helping Mommy check test papers of her students. It was a routine we have grown to love. Classroom anecdotes would always fill our dinner conversations. My mom, of course, was the willing storyteller. My mom, the teacher.

It’s no surprise then why I love teaching. So much so, I could remember playing school as a seven-year-old. I would be the teacher, teaching Math, Reading, Science, pretty much anything. And my playmates would be my students. We’d set up our makeshift classroom in our empty garage. With a piece of plywood as our blackboard, and spare pieces of chalk I snitched from Mommy’s stack, I would teach away with much gusto. And amazingly, my students listened and actually learned. That memory would be buried in the deepest recesses of my mind and heart. Not until I find myself teaching again. Until that long slumbering passion is awakened. Again.

As far as I know, it was never my ambition to become a teacher. I loved teaching, but I never saw myself as a teacher – at least by profession. With my drive, I thought I was made for something far “greater”. The teachers I loved were those who satisfied my thirst for knowledge. Learning to me was nothing more than the pursuit of enriching one’s intelligence.

My passion for teaching was rekindled when I became active in youth ministry. Being a youth leader and with much spare time in my hands, I got involved in our church’s campus ministry program, After-Class Getaway. I was on my latter years in college then. Every Friday afternoon, students from a nearby public high school would flock in our church to hang around and play after their classes had ended. Never the social bug, I was contented just helping out in the menial tasks of distributing snacks or cleaning up after the sessions. All of a sudden, I found myself doing more than what I enlisted for – leading games, facilitating small groups, teaching Bible lessons, actually talking to the students. Slowly, I was falling in love with those kids. I remember writing a blog entry, Loving Fridays:

“If I could only weave the stories of their lives, it would be a tapestry of colors of all sorts. At such young ages, I could barely believe how life could be so hard on them. My pampered life was challenged to look face-to-face, the harsh reality of the world. Broken homes. Molestation. Poverty. Child labor. Hunger. Abandonment. Neglect. There was only much that I could take in. And so little that I could do to ease the pain that was slowly and unknowingly numbing their hearts. That little, I was willing to do. If only to give them a momentary respite for their souls. A chance to be a child again at play. To dream again. To trust and to hope. What I would give…”

And my heart ached. Not only to teach again. But to love. And love those kids I did. With the best way I knew and can. TEACH. This time, not only for knowledge’s sake. But for LIFECHANGE. Anything short of that goal is a failure on my part as a teacher.

Thus, began my journey as a youth worker. I am convinced that I am called to be a youth worker for life. Unless God tells me otherwise. With that label comes the inevitable responsibility to teach God’s Word to the youth. In that respect, I believe I am very much a teacher. Perhaps, not by profession, but by conviction.

Time and again, teaching the youth has proven to be a challenging feat. I remember my first attempts at teaching. I was very cerebral – teaching to impart knowledge. I remember strictly sticking to my outline and meticulously teaching by the book, thinking that my students will absorb every word that comes out of my mouth. Most of the time, I walked away frustrated with blank stares haunting me. I had to learn the hard way that students process and learn differently. Not everyone was like me who thrives in a traditional class, where the teacher lectures away while I practically take in everything. If I were to truly teach, I needed to embrace the fact that students are wired differently and uniquely. To teach effectively, I needed to adjust my style. As the apostle Paul said in his epistle to the Corinthians, “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Corinthians 9:22). And so I have become all things to my students so that by all possible means I might actually teach some.

In my experience with young people, I’ve observed that their attention span is shorter and that their culture is constantly changing. The challenge then is to catch and keep their attention, and be relevant. To bore young people with the Word of God is a sin.

Yet I do not claim to be an expert in teaching the youth. The youth’s culture is one that is so dynamic that to teach without regard to the changing times is tantamount to killing a young person slowly, with neglect and abandon. I surmise that it will be quite a challenge to teach the emerging generations, but I pray my love for them will compel me to be the best teacher that I can be. To learn to teach is to love truly.

“It is my prayer that your love for the kids will overflow abundantly, infinitely, immeasurably. And may you behold the joy of seeing the fruits of your labor in the lives of these students. Perhaps not now. Not soon. But someday. By God’s grace, I have. And I can’t wait to see more. Someday soon. In God’s perfect time. For now, I pray you’ll fall in love with them. And love them, you will.” (Loving Fridays)

In between hats

2011-08-22T13:43:00.000+08:00

(Click image for better view)

What Beauty Is

2011-08-16T00:16:00.001+08:00

On rare occasions, I look oh so lovely...

On normal days, I look plain... and busy...

But on some days, I look haggard and downright hideous...

On any day... I celebrate who I am... regardless if I'm picture-perfect or not. A beauty to unveil that is all my own. :)

I am glorious. I am beautiful. I am captivating.

"The LORD your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Even Before I Ask

2011-07-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

I was never the one who complained much. But lately, a familiar anxiety was brewing inside me. I've seen this many times in the past. And now it's back. Taunting me. For a moment, I was drowning in a whirlpool of doubts and fears. Darkness of the soul was slowly clouding my thoughts. For a moment, I almost lost myself. Almost.

Memories flooded in... I needed to remember. In remembering, I found my salvation. Then, a calm found its way in my heart. A quiet resolve to trust.

I guess God delights in displaying His awesome work to those who boldly take Him at His challenge of faith. And I never would have seen it coming. Once again, I found myself drowning. This time, in the ocean of my own tears. All those emotions bottled up inside me just escaped me and wet my face. I was never good at handling surprises. Not of this kind especially.

He answered. Even before I asked. I am blessed. Immeasurably beyond my imagination.

Let me remember.

Let me never forget.

You are the God of the "how much more".

"... For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him."

Matthew 6:8

E-P-I-C

2011-07-06T00:22:00.001+08:00

(Click on image for better view)

Asia Pacific Healthy Church (APHC) Conference has for its mission, to bring back into the heart of the church the Great Commission and the Great Commandment. It invites us to look afresh into the timeless principles found in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ and learn that the same principles can be applied in growing healthy churches and ministries today.

APHC Conference, in partnership with Intentional Disciplemaking Network (Singapore) and Wavemakers (Philippines), comes to Manila for the very first time. The conference seeks to gather a community of ministry and church leaders to learn together in creating disciplemaking ministries as Jesus did.

We invite you to re-discover God’s heart for the church – to make disciples of all nations… (Matthew 28: 18-20). Come and see Jesus with fresh eyes in order to “be like Him” and “walk as He did” (1 John 2:6).

For more details: APHC Manila 2011

Summer Sojourns

2011-07-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing summer... :)

(Click on images below for better view)

Summer and Everything in Between...

2011-06-29T11:09:00.001+08:00

"The silence is pregnant with meaning..." Allow me to share with you the many opportunities God has given us in our ministry. Soli Deo Gloria!

(Click on the images below for a better view)

First Things First

2011-03-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

Before asking a young person to read the Bible, teach him first how to open it, find the book, then the chapter, then the verse. If there's one thing I learned in teaching youth in the campus, it's this. Never assume the students know how to use their Bibles. Most probably, they don't. And we wonder why they don't read, let alone pick up, the Holy Book. Most probably, they are intimidated. Who wouldn't be? It has H-O-L-Y written all over it! Think of it as a new high tech gadget, they need a user's manual before they can use it.

So teach them I did. They were quite unsure at first, glancing my way as they leafed through the pages of their Bibles, as if asking for affirmation. Finally, they found the verse, reading it aloud, just to make sure they got it right. And I smiled back at them, with a nod of approval. Oh, how their eyes beamed. It was priceless indeed.

And I know, it was just the beginning of their long journey to faith.

How We Grow

2011-03-07T12:21:00.001+08:00

It was a roadtrip I had to take on my own. With the youth camp barely a month from now, it was a much needed meeting with the youth leaders of Region 1. So I volunteered to go, at the time when Kuya Do and the others were away on a conference in Malaysia/Singapore. Never mind that I had to commute there by bus for seven grueling hours, I was psyched that I was actually making this trip. On my own. For the first time. A rite of passage I was about to conquer.

And so I was in La Union. To be with our beloved youth leaders. I was not quite prepared for what awaited me. Most of them came from a church without a pastor. Some of them recovering from a recent church split. Most of them, without a discipler. And it broke my heart. To see how real their struggles were. Here we were, asking them to make disciples, when they barely know how to be one. It broke my heart more, to know that none was there to lead them. My mind was bombarded with a lot of questions. What happened to the older generation, the generations before them? Where are they? Why did they neglect the call to make disciples? Why do the present generation and the emerging generations have to suffer from their failure? No wonder our churches are dying. The church has forgotten its mission to make disciples. It dawned on me, how doubly hard it is for us to do our job of equipping youth for disciplemaking. Will I ever see the youth discipled, becoming true followers of Jesus Christ? My mind was racing as my heart grew faint.

But a glimmer of hope shines through. Although facing the same dilemma, some shared stories of how they have started their own discipleship groups in the campus. Some of them found disciplers, elders in the church who rose to the occasion because they were left without a pastor. And they face tomorrow with hopeful anticipation. God's grace abounds.

Sadly, the present generation of young people are reaping the neglect of their forerunners. The task of making disciples is made even more challenging because they have not been discipled themselves. They are left to fend for themselves. This is a bitter pill to swallow. Reality that is pervasive in most of our churches today. I turn to the youth leaders God has allowed us to encounter, and their spirits are that of resilience, desiring to obey whatever it takes. And I know, there is hope. All the more, I am fueled to remain faithful in this ministry, until the church returns to its call to make disciples. By God's empowering grace. Because that is how we grow.

I pray to see revival in our churches... to see Christ-transformed lives multiplying in others. For the sake of the emerging generations. I pray.

In A Relationship

2011-02-28T15:58:00.001+08:00

Hi friends! I just finished writing my personal newsletter. While I'm thinking of an easy way for my ministry partners to get updates from me, I figured I'll make use of my blog in the meantime. So here are my ministry updates. Click on the images below for a better view and easy read. God dearly bless you all! :)

New Beginnings

2011-01-03T03:29:00.000+08:00

I have been on a blogging hiatus for a long time now. And much to my regret, there were many chances, times when I could have framed sacred moments in words, that I let slip.

And so I start anew this 2011. New year, NEW BEGINNINGS.

To move forward, I do need to step back... to recreate moments that would forever etch the-year-that-was in my memory, in my heart. That I may not forget...

2010 started with a prayer... (See, A Rested Heart)

"I have stilled and quieted my soul..." That is my prayer for 2010. That as I busy my hands on the plow, I shall go forth unruffled by storms of doubt and anxiety, knowing full well that God is in control. He is sovereign still.

...But I choose to be like a weaned child with its mother. Unshaken, basking in the unchallenged truth -- that my God is indeed able and trustworthy.

Looking back, God has answered that prayer in ways unimaginable. I am awed. Yet again. And I am grateful that I still am.

As the long silence have atrophied my writing muscle, I let the pictures paint the words for me. For now. Until I find my muse again.

School Again :)

Yes! I am a seminary student.

The Farmhouse

Our home away from home

Making Memories

Family Vacations in Palawan, Cebu & Balay Indang

Alligator farm in Palawan

Island-hopping in Palawan

In Mactan, Cebu

The Great Lapu-Lapu

Family vacay in Balay Indang, Cavite

Tres Marias with their traveling toys

Disciples Making Disciples

Engaging Youth Leaders from Luzon, Visayas & Mindanao

Region 1

General Santos City

Younger Leaders Conference in Tagaytay

Laguna

Loving Wednesdays... and Fridays

(Campus Ministry through After Class Get-Away & V.O.I.C.E.)

ACG Workshop

Approximately 650 high school students were inside the church

My first time to teach Values Education every Wednesday in San Francisco High School.

Some of my first year high school students under my Values Education class.

Growing with Fellow Youth Workers. For Life. :)

First Live 2:6 Group in Manila

Youth@111 Youth Workers

Global Youth Initiative delegates from all over the world converged in Manila

Bo :)

My other love. (Aside from Toppy & Teddy)

... and many answered prayers. :)

So I brace myself for many new beginnings this 2011. And as I did last year, I shall set out with a new prayer in my heart. I choose to stay in the long path of trusting and obeying our Father and King. For His fame. For His renown. :)

Happy New Beginnings!

ASK

2010-03-23T00:27:00.003+08:00

"Until now you have not asked anything in My name. Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete."

John 16:24

I asked.

I received.

I am overjoyed.

God's blessings overflow... ASK.

Making Choices and Shopping for Groceries

2010-03-07T00:48:00.015+08:00

Grocery shopping is my self-imposed obligatory contribution to our monthly household budget. At 28, I, together with my sisters (31 and 26 of age --although divulging their age is tantamount to bloodshed.. mine, that is) still live with my parents. Staying in the house we grew up in, saves me from paying rent and bills other independently-living young adults my age have to take care of. I do have plans to move out eventually. When I turn 30 or when I get married (That's THE rule -- once you're married, you're out of the house. A rule yet to be implemented since the three of us are all still single. And apparently, very satisfied). Whichever comes first. Until then, I consider myself blessed. So, shelling out a few thousands off my meager salary is the least I can do to give back something to my ever-gracious and ever-generous parents.

I took the usual trip-to-the-grocery routine the other day. It was an errand I gladly do. Grocery shopping to me is like spa for others. It's my personal stress-reliever. There's something about pushing the cart through the vast expanse of the store and filling it with goods that is so inexplicably soothing. At least to me. Perhaps, it's the sense of exercising my power to choose that thrills me so.

I follow a system of shopping for groceries. The essentials first, then the "luxury" items after. Prioritize! Although that is not often the case. Most of the time, I do get distracted and find myself filling my cart with more non-essentials than I intended to buy. I didn't have to buy that pack-of-six Nestle fruit selection yoghurt, but I did just because it's my favorite dessert in the whole wide world and it says on its package that I would save Php 10 as opposed to buying them separately. The feat becomes more exciting as I choose between brands. Often times, brand loyalty wins over my sense of the practical. Nearing the cashier, I give a last glance at my load and quickly inspect the items in the attempt to do a last-minute weeding out before they reach a point of no return in the counter. I am a disgrace as an economist (maybe that's why I never pursued being one). Economic principles, well-meaning as they may be, were meant to explain consumer behavior, not to control it.

In the end, I have chosen. And I would have to live with that choice. Whether that means, having an excess dessert I regret buying or a sense of satisfaction knowing that I have made the right choice.

Life can be so much like a trip to the grocery store. Every corner awaits a decision to be made. Yes or no. Now or later. Wait or stop. Here or there. Leave or stay. We would have to choose one or the other. I would like to believe that life only offers two major choices: God's way or our way. And making the choice will depend on where you anchor your principles. I anchor mine in the reality of God in my life and in the wisdom of His word. But that does not guarantee that making choices would always be easy. Because often, if not most of the time, my stubborn self gets in the way. But thankfully, God always steps in.

I am in the process of coming down with a decision. I believe I have chosen God's way. But the road has diverged into two paths. Either way is a step of faith. I am praying still. And I am confident that whichever I choose, God has already gone before me.

Until I come to a decision, I will be taking trips to the grocery store, and perfect the art of making choices. And maybe, just maybe, I can redeem the economist in me. :)

To Write Again

2010-03-04T00:07:00.011+08:00

Today, to my pleasant surprise, I chanced upon a Real Time devotional stacked in one of the shelves of a specialty bookstore. It's been a long time since I found a copy displayed in book shops. Yes, admittedly, whenever I go to a bookstore, I casually stroll by the religious books section and peruse through the devotionals hoping to see that familiar tiny, brightly colored book. With my name on it. A guilty pleasure I indulge in whenever chance permits it. But chance has been a miser depriving me of such whim. Until now.

You should have seen me pick up that copy and hold it as if I've unearthed a priceless treasure. In my hands, it was. And I remembered my first love. Writing. It awakened in me an old dream. To write again.

Returning from my musing, I lovingly placed back the devotional on the shelf... slightly rearranging the books so Real Time would have a visibility advantage. I left the store smiling. Thanking, not chance, but the One who is, and will always be, my reason to write.

And write, I shall.