The Mixed Up Files of Detective Oliver Benson

I couldn't agree more

2012-02-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

Andrew sent me this saying that I need to find a friend for the Detective along these lines.

: (

She's so happy.

And she looks like she'd fit right in on south beach.

sticking with my resolution

2012-02-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

I promised to post more about Beyonce so I'm sending you to this article that Jon sent me this morning.

The video above is what immediately came to mind while I was reading it.

I am incredibly curious to see some of Beyonce's art. I'm even more curious to see Solange's art. I love that she studied in Paris.

soooo tired

2012-02-23T07:21:00.001-08:00

The new thing is that you're not supposed to immediately make your bed upon waking up because then the sheets stay warm and dark which breeds dust mites. Instead you're supposed to let your bedding air out before remaking your bed.

The problem is that by the time I'm ready to make my bed I can't because there is one large irritable dust mite sleeping right in the middle of all my bedding.

How am I supposed to disturb him?! He's just so relaxed and comfortable.

: (

it was over before I even realized

2012-02-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

I was playing while on the phone with Jon the other night and accidentally beat the game. I had no idea I was so close to the end.

I also missed some of the best quotes of all time including, "We've got to go in Uranus" and, "Here! Take it Uranus!!"

It's going to be hard to come up with a name that tops Uranus for the next game I play. I'll have to think on it for a while.

why has nobody gotten me this?!

2012-02-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

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No seriously. Cinco de Mayo, it's on quite literally like donkey kong.

You will be receiving engraved invitations shortly.

how I spend my break

2012-02-21T09:57:00.000-08:00

In case you hadn't figured it out by the fact that I've only posted music videos for like the past month straight, all I have been doing is working and sleeping. Oh and that one week that I did my taxes.

But I was taking my break the other day, as seen above, and thinking about how it's not such a bad place to take my break. As compared to other jobs I've had. I think breaking at Rockefeller Center was the worst. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do besides watch people fall on the ice.

What you can't see in the picture above is that I actually have a lovely view of swaying palm trees and a nice tropical breeze that comes through...the mall parking garage.

At least I get to hang out in my own car. Since I never had a real job in high school I've never had the experience of driving to work, or taking my break in my car. It's nice although there is always the temptation to just start the engine and drive off in to the sunset.

Today is my day off thankfully though. I will be spending it doing chores and then going to sleep before more work tomorrow. I'm saving up my energy for what should be a crazy weekend coming up.

For the rest of you, enjoy going back to work.

me today

2012-02-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

My mood can best be described by this classic Jennifer Lopez jam.

Today is the first day that I feel like I can see some results from my weeks of careful eating and habitual exercise. Thank goodness as it is back to 80 degrees during the day. I am going to be wearing less and less clothing as the months go on.

Speaking of how it is amazing weather down here, when are you all coming to visit? I have to ask kitty if he will allow anybody to sleep on his couch but I'm sure he will be cool about it. If anything you can just share with him, as long as you don't mind having him stomp all over your head while you're trying to sleep.

I know I don't!

Especially since Andrew sent me this awesome new website to fall asleep to.

So soothing, thank you!

I love the internet

2012-02-18T07:46:00.002-08:00

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I really wanted to sleep at an appropriate time last night to reset my schedule but when I went to bed all I could hear was the thumping bass of my neighbors music.

I keep saying that I want to get some kind of water feature for my apt so the gentle murmuring will drown out all the other annoying noises that go on, but I still haven't gotten around to doing it. Laying in bed thinking about it I had the realization that I could probably find some kind of ambient sound online.

It took me all of 15 seconds to find this site:

www.ambient-mixer.com

and my life is better for it. The coolest thing about this site is that they let you customize the sound. Last night I chose "stormy front porch" but then I muted the thunder sounds. It was so soothing!

The only problem is that I woke up with the overwhelming need to go to the bathroom. That and I was confused regarding the sunlight streaming in to my apt when I clearly could hear the gentle pitter patter of raindrops.

I think tonight I'll try "grassland". I can't wait!

I must have this

2012-02-17T12:49:00.002-08:00

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Omg, you have to go to the regretsy page and look at what she wrote. That first picture is literally me writing my blog.

I'm assuming that somebody has already gotten this for me and it's just being delivered. I will wait patiently for it.

beauty sleep

2012-02-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

Apparently we've both been needing it lately. In a very uncharacteristic move I slept until 1:00pm today. My power went off yesterday and I never reset any of my clocks so at first when I woke up I assumed it was a normal time of the morning. I began to realize that it wasn't when I turned on NBC and there was no today show. "Wow, I slept until 11!" was my first thought, until I discovered that not even the view was still on. That's when I checked my phone and realized that I had just squandered most of my day.

Blech.

I guess for him it's not so uncharacteristic to sleep all day. I just don't understand how that is comfortable, sleeping with your arms stretched out in front of you like you're flying.

But I aint mad at him. If it weren't for him I may have never woken up this morning...afternoon. Thanks to his aggressive poops and pees I was finally able to break the kung foo grip that mr. sandman had on me.

That's why we're best friends.

Now he's back to sleep and I need to figure out how to salvage my day. I feel like it's too late for coffee even. This is terrible.

not every song, just the best ones

2012-02-16T22:32:00.001-08:00

The other day my coworker Brittany made a comment about how all of Mariah's songs are about love or relationships. I wasn't able to come up with any songs to contradict her at the time but have given it a lot of thought since. There are some, a few songs, but yes, overwhelmingly she does a lot of songs about love.

Why mess with success?

Anyways it had never really occurred to me that she primarily writes songs about relationships and I keep thinking about it. I wonder if it's affecting me, listening to songs about love all the time. I do notice that I think about past relationships when I'm listening to certain songs of hers. It just sucks that all the good ones remind me of all the worst relationships.

That's what I cling to.

Someday, ooh someday.

he's everywhere all at once

2012-02-15T22:34:00.002-08:00

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When I got home tonight all I could see through the window of my apartment was two glowing angry eyes in the darkness.

It was not unlike this picture, leading me to believe that that is a picture of him.

He sure gets around.

all I want to do for the rest of my life

2012-02-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I did before reddit.

How did I survive without videos like this?

uggghhhh, they are so nice : (

still good

2012-02-15T08:09:00.001-08:00

I never thought of it as a "her".

In case you were concerned, no I haven't grown up at all.

I'm glad my name precedes me.

Is there a way to select, "no thank you"?

Why thank you, I've been practicing.

How many times has this very sentence run through my head? More than you'd care to know.

A quick trip to the doctor should clear that right up.

I thought I did but I'm beginning to realize that I don't at all. I've got so much more to learn about Uranus.

wow

2012-02-14T06:53:00.000-08:00

Thank you Jonathan for sending this to me.

: (

some people find it off-putting

2012-02-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to start out by saying that it doesn't feel right to move on and talk about other things besides Whitney but I guess the time had to come sooner or later.

Jon sent me Lana Del Rey's album a few days ago and the first thing I said when I heard it was, "why does she sound like she's on cat tranquilizers?" Jon got offended so I had to correct him by pointing out that I didn't say it was a bad thing.

If I hadn't listened to her music before watching her SNL performance I can see how I might have been confused but I actually didn't think she did bad. In fact, after having only listened to her I told Jon that she reminded me of this:

And now having watched her perform live on SNL I feel even more like they are the same.

Anyways, here is the actual Lana Del Rey:

I like her.

it's still true

2012-02-12T06:48:00.000-08:00

When I was little there are two cds that I remember my Dad having in his car. One was the soundtrack to Pretty Woman, and the other was I'm Your Baby Tonight.

I think the problem with Whitney, especially having Whitney be one of your first music memories, is that it sets a pretty high standard. I feel like I compare every new artist I hear against her and am unimpressed.

Few even come close.

But for those who can compete it's like she offered the greatest challenge. Can you keep up?

Ugh, how sad. She will be missed.

ugh, i'm devastated

2012-02-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

She was too good : (

it hasn't stopped

2012-02-11T08:59:00.001-08:00

I am just going to listen to this on repeat until it stops raining.

Maybe I'll alternate the original with the remix, just to keep it fresh.

light rain

2012-02-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to the driving rain. When I looked at my phone the weather program said, "light rain".

This is what was going on outside my window.

Blech, it's been like this for about a week now. I'm over it.

my new friend

2012-02-09T17:23:00.000-08:00

I was at Walmart today and I found myself in the pet supplies aisle. I was not looking for a fish but somehow I found myself face to face with the wall of sad Betta's in their little tupperware containers.

This guy was literally the first one I saw and after much hemming and hawing I decided I need to just take him home with me.

I love him.

After I first put him in his new tank I was taking some pictures and out of nowhere he just flipped out and knocked one of those huge ass rocks all the way across the tank. He's angry just like kitty, and I like that a lot.

I told Jonathan that I got a nice purple fish and he asked me what I was going to name him. I said I didn't know and asked for a suggestion. Jonathan suggested, "JONATHAN!"

The more time I've spent with him the more I feel there is no more appropriate name.

He's handsome and nice and purple and has a violent streak. That describes Jonathan to a T.

Haha, he also knows how to pose for the camera now click, click.

And he lives in a tank full of bottled water. If Jonathan were a fish he'd expect no less.

So it's settled, and I think little Jonathan is enjoying his new home right by my computer. I hope it's better than the back corner of Walmart.

He certainly looks like he's enjoying it.

I want to go so bad

2012-02-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

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Kathie Lee and Hoda are in the bahamas this week and they did a small piece about the beach pigs that live down there. I had forgotten about them and had only seen them in pictures. Seeing the video of them this morning sealed the deal for me.

I must go there.

Uggghhhhh, how are they so nice?

I got teary eyed

2012-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

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This is really cool. Watch it.

it never gets old

2012-02-09T08:19:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting for the new mario to show up used at the gamestop by my work, so in the meantime I am replaying an old zelda game.

I can't tell you how much pleasure I get from naming my character something inappropriate.

It always comes out of nowhere and I have to put the game down because I am having a laughing fit. Sometimes it actually catches me off guard and I accidentally click past whatever perverted thing is on screen before I can take a picture. The best one I missed was after a particularly challenging puzzle that ended in you opening up the door to a new temple my little fairy friend said, "We finally made it inside Uranus". I've heard that before from a few of my fairy friends in real life.

Ugghhh it's so good. I can't stop laughing.

I love the placement of the comma in that one. "Hey, see that weird thing that just surfaced...Uranus?"

p.s. I took a break from doing my taxes for this. I'm an adult now!

he appears again

2012-02-08T14:41:00.000-08:00

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Reddit user man_in_the_mirra posted this picture after he dropped flour on his cat.

Correction, you dropped flour on my cat.