The Mixed Up Files of Detective Oliver Benson

look at this door!

2014-11-04T16:06:00.001-08:00

I spotted it on my run today. I would like a house with a door like that.

it's cold here

2014-11-03T05:52:00.002-08:00

Just in time for me to have to wear a suit every day to work. Not so fun for my weekend off though. Saturday I decided to stay in and reorganize my closet, a project which was very necessary. Unfortunately the power went out on my block right around dusk, and my closet reorganization came to a halt.

The project was harder to get back in to yesterday, and so here we find ourselves on Monday morning with piles of clothes on my couch in my living room. At least I gained an hour of work this morning.
And I still managed to enjoy some of my day yesterday. I went for a run and spied these bathing beauties:

There are a few things you can count on when the temperature drops. Iguanas are one, snowbirds are another.

Hopefully they are going to come shopping soon.

Oh by the way, I forgot, here is your calendar page for this month:

rabbit rabbit rabbit

2014-11-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

In honor of my sister getting these two adorable rabbits I had to do a post. I can't believe I went the entire month without posting anything. Actually, I can believe it. There were only a few times that I realized I hadn't posted anything in days...weeks...a month. Lets just say October was a crazy month that I didn't really feel like posting about.

I still can't really believe I am at a new job yet. Last week was four long excruciation days of training. My favorite screenshot was this:

It was a list of made up sales associates, that had to be intentional. There is someone who works on the training videos for Saks who is a die hard Seinfeld fan.

Otherwise training was grueling. Just long hours of watching training modules. Most of it was fairly easy for me, which of course made me feel guilty for abandoning my old job. I would never have been qualified for this one if it weren't for the things I'd learned there. I'm nervous about this new one though. As much as it's the same as my last job there are a lot of ways that it's very different.

I'm off today and tomorrow and then go in Monday for my first day on the floor. Wish me luck.

I'm glad I don't sell swimwear

2014-09-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

Walking through the store yesterday I came upon this display in the swim section. I don't think I want to know.

I feel bad

2014-09-27T07:40:00.004-07:00

He really does look ridiculous.

I'm sorry detective.

a day of beauty

2014-09-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

The detective and I both had appointments to get our hair cut today, he was not as relaxed as he could have been. This was his first time riding in my mini and I was surprised that he stayed in my lap the entire time. Usually he creeps and crawls around the footwell area whenever he goes for car rides.

I take the detective to a guy named Mario who refers to him as his baby. Mario's english isn't the best so when the haircut was over this was the text I got:

I think he meant "baby is ready". I hope that's what he meant. There seems to be some things lost in translation between us. I did not intend for the detective to get a lion cut today but when he emerged from his carrier he was several pounds lighter than I expected. I feel bad, like I should have gotten my head shaved in solidarity.

the hustler of AC

2014-09-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

Someone had to be cause it certainly wasn't me. Apparently I was getting in trouble for taking pictures but I didn't care. It was worth it for the shot.

The wedding was nice, it was full of teary eyed moments. It was also weird to see so many people from college, like a reunion in disguise.

And just like that I'm done with my travel. Nothing on the horizon besides getting back in to my routine. I'm excited for the new View today before work and then tomorrow will be Laura's first day.
Oh I will also pay my first car payment next week, so there's that to look forward to too. -__-

somebody get him a recording contract

2014-09-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you Jonathan for sending this to me.

I'm curious where he is that only a few people even realize that he's the one singing. I wonder if he just saw a karaoke set up and was like, "Hey record me singing this".

I was bracing myself for the high notes but they were all there. I'm impressed.

ikea trip

2014-09-10T07:47:00.002-07:00

My Saturday off was threatened by stormy weather and sober september, so when Joe asked if I wanted to go to Ikea I jumped at the chance. Not that I really have disposable income right now but I always enjoy a trip to Ikea.

Of course I ended up getting a few things but I managed to get out of there without spending more than $100. The most important was new pillows for my couch as I ruined my old pillow by trying to put it through the wash. Speaking of Ikea durability, when I tried to rip the tag off of one of my new pillows I definitely almost ripped it completely in half. Thankfully the pillowcase holds it together enough that you'd never know.

Of course, once I commit to swiping my card I go ahead and get a few extra random things that I totally don't need. Like a new rug for the detective:

What was I thinking getting a rug that he blends in with so effortlessly? I've already tripped over him several times, especially because he ALWAYS HAS TO BE LAYING ON IT.

My final impulse purchase, literally right before we got to the register, was these clip together teak tiles:

They don't fit perfectly in my shower but they still look pretty cool if I do say so myself. I'm curious to see if they get super disgusting or not. The teak should be fine but the base of them is plastic which I'm scared it just asking to get soap scum build up. Either way it was $30 for a pack of them so I think it was worth it. It definitely makes my shower seem more fancy than it is.

And my apt looks a little bit more homey, just in time for me to figure out where I'm moving next.

so shiny

2014-09-08T09:06:00.003-07:00

It looks so nice after a car wash!! It just doesn't last very long before the water spots start showing up.

But I enjoy it while it lasts.

omg I'm dying

2014-09-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

This old post came up as one of my most viewed posts for the past month so I decided to take a trip down memory lane and read it. I had completely forgotten that Benita's daughter commented on my post!

I replied to her but never heard anything more. I'm guessing that her using the name "Trinky" means she understands the amazingness of her name.

Also, I had completely forgotten about Oreo Lowkey, Colin Cooch, and lemon squid. Sharon Babylacqua still gets passed around between Jon and me every once in a while. When I think of new favorite names of ours the immediate thing that comes to mind is Maryann Pantyliner, the name Jon gave some woman in a dream he had. Upon hearing it she started crying, as anyone would. Otherwise, I don't think we've had any names near as exciting come about in s long time.

I'm going to keep my ears open.

galaxy nails

2014-09-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

It was painfully slow at work so I was extra excited when I spotted these talons.

She said she did them herself! I can't imagine having such a steady hand.

In other news, I drove ALL the way to work in green mode. And I drove ALL the way home in sport...

rabbit rabbit rabbit

2014-09-01T07:40:00.003-07:00

source

After all the excitement of August I'm looking forward to a more frugal September. Besides my weekend trip to Atlantic City next week I have no intention of spending money on ANYTHING. And then October is a three paycheck month!

Good timing for Sober September too, last year it was really scary to see how much further my money went without spending anything on booze. I don't even feel like I drink that much, it's just that I get drinks when I'm out at dinner or whatever. I would probably save more buy buying in bulk and drinking alone at home but then I would really have to question my choices.

I started Sober September a little early because I think I'm going to take cheat days in Atlantic City. Otherwise, I am looking forward to drying out for the next 30 days. I have a feeling I'll end up more like this by the end of the month:

As if I weren't already...

all mine for the next 3 years

2014-08-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

It
is
so
fun
to
DRIVE.

Ugh. I'm obsessed. The worst part about leasing it is the mileage limit, but then it's kind of nice because it makes me cherish each mile driven. And nobody has a problem with the color. I mean, not to toot my own horn, but it's pretty much flawless.

So many shiny knobs and buttons. It almost achieves my goal of having every button accounted for. I hate when there is a plastic button where something is supposed to be. The only things I'm missing are heated seats because apparently they don't order the "cold weather" package for cars in Florida, you have to special order it. I don't care what people say, sometimes I get chilly and it's nice to have a warm seat.

Regardless, it's got almost everything else it could possibly have, and so many things I didn't even realize it does. Like pair up with my phone through an app that shows me all kinds of interesting things like how much gas is in my gas tank!

I still haven't figured out how it all works but it gives me a fun activity to do when I get to work early like this morning. I'm definitely going to have to reform my driving habits though because I keep seeing my average gas mileage so far and it a'int pretty. When I was talking to my dad about my new car he commented that it must get great gas mileage. I explained that there are three driving modes; normal, "green", and sport. I'm sure if I spent more time in green and less time in sport I would be doing better in the mileage dept. Tonight I drove the whole way home from work in green.

Speaking of driving home from work, one of my favorite thing about my mini is the headlights.

You can kind of see in that picture, they have horseshoe shaped halo lights that are on all the time, and then the headlights are led so they are really crisp blue. I've never had a car with lights like these, it really is nice although I wonder if it's annoying to other cars. I feel like at least I'm really low to the ground so it's not like I'm blinding people directly in their faces.

I'm still learning so much about all of the cool things this car can do. It seems like each question I come up with leads me down a rabbit hole of new information. Earlier I was looking through the computer and I found a section of little tutorials on different things. You can imagine my reaction when I found this:

Gala brought up an interesting point in that "Entering the rear" is a little off topic for the other tutorials on this screen. Either way the tutorial was not as exciting as I thought it would be.

Regardless, I love this car. I can't wait to go to work tomorrow!

just have to wait one more day

2014-08-28T17:07:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow I will be waking up bright and early to go get my new car!!

Special thanks to Daniel for spending the day with me at the DMV and elsewhere. My favorite part was when the power went out and the guy behind the window got a look of panic on his face before looking at the computer and saying, "oh, ok, no, it's still there".

But I think I've done everything by the book and I will be able to drive off the lot tomorrow with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Also on my sick new sound system. : ) : ) : )

almost have a new car

2014-08-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Of course this is the dealership I ended up getting my car from. The mini/bmw/bentley/rolls royce dealership of Miami.

I was originally looking at mini's in Ft. Lauderdale where it was respectably the mini/bmw dealership. Mini was still on the low end but given that the dealership one town north is the mini/volkswagen dealership I didn't have any reason to expect that Miami would be this big of a price jump. They wouldn't even valet park my truck!

My awesome sales guy Rodney came in special just for me even though it was his day off so while I waited for him I decided to check out their inventory. Somehow I had been so dazzled by the super cars I completely overlooked this:

Allegedly it belonged to a stripper. The pink is covering white. It is definitely a hot car, I just think I would stick with the white. Almost everyone I showed it to has loved it, and I've been surprised by the people who think I would actually have bought that for myself. I bet it smells like Britney Spears perfume inside.

I did sign all the paperwork for my new ride while I was there, unfortunately there were too many pieces of the puzzle that had to fall in to place before I can drive it away. In the meantime, my truck continues to give me trouble, making me feel totally justified in spending WAY TOO MUCH MONEY on a really awesome new car. But really, just knowing that I can get myself to work and back is worth it.

My fantasy is that I will be able to take ownership of my new car tomorrow but I have a feeling it will more likely be Friday morning. Tomorrow morning will be consumed with transferring the title of my truck to Daniel before I have to be at work at 9.

These days are an extreme test in patience. As if I haven't been thinking about this and planning it for long enough, to be so close to the end is driving me nuts. Special thanks to Joe and Daniel for giving me rides to work in the meantime.

Speaking of, I need to go to bed. It won't be long before Daniel is rapping at my chamber door.

I miss them already : (

2014-08-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

Back from Boston and I am missing Zeus and Penny terribly.

The wedding was beautiful and I was honored to be a part of the party. It was also really fun to meet so many different people from Jon's life that I had only ever heard about or seen in pictures. Like his niece Olivia!! Ugghhh, she is so adorable, literally smiling and happy about EVERYTHING.

And then I made a lot of new and unexpected friends as well. Like Joe's mom, who by the end of the night was dragging me by my tie to the dance floor. Or Louis' parents who were hilariously english and fantastic. I rode with them from the house to the venue and we were supposed to be following the others. As we were getting situated we saw them pull away from the curb and down the street to which Lesley exclaimed, "Well they're off like a prom dress!"

Besides the wedding it was great to just get out of town for a few days. It's been almost two years since I've flown anywhere or been away from work for more than three days. I was reminded of the person I used to be and the life I used to have.

When I got home from the airport I took a shower and intended to go to the grocery store but my truck wouldn't start. I have an appointment for this afternoon with Rodney at the Miami Mini dealership. Will keep you posted.

Of all the reasons I'm super excited to get a new car I think the best thing will be having a sound system that works. As you may recall my radio in the truck has a tendency to fall out of the dashboard when I go over a particularly large speed bump. And to have speakers that work 100% of the time? Oh it will be amazing.

Special thanks to Zeus for deep cleaning my ears every chance he got for 4 days:

I can enjoy my new sound system to the fullest! And you know what I'll be listening to for the inaugural drive.

TMI

2014-08-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

I mean, I like Mariah as much as the next guy but Jon really takes it to the next level.

Totally unnecessary.

a nice visitor at work

2014-08-13T20:08:00.002-07:00

: (((((

Her name is SHUSH. When I first saw her she was just waddling along smiling and looking around. The only thing that changed when she saw me looking at her was that her tail started wagging frantically.

She reminded me of yeti, who I got to see yesterday on my day off.

The next time I go over I need to video tape the way she acts when I first get there. She dances back and forth and is just so excited. After the initial petting she loses interest in me pretty quickly. Usually by the end of my visit the only thing that gets her interested is having her picture taken.

She's so happy, I just want to hug her all day long.

a great day to be off

2014-08-07T08:40:00.002-07:00

And just think, tomorrow I get to do it all over again!

I'm loving my new schedule. I feel so refreshed.

rabbit rabbit rabbit late and without rabbit

2014-08-06T06:35:00.002-07:00

I'm really doing terribly this month, I apologize. I blame Joe and the full days of heavy drinking. My liver is looking forward to sober september.

Weirdly I have like a million days off this month so at least I have lots of time for fun in sun.

Otherwise known as getting caught in torrential downpours while on a bike ride.

It looks beautiful today though, I am determined to get to the beach.

Still a few more days to go actually.

sorry, we're real busy over here

2014-08-04T09:37:00.001-07:00

I can't believe how badly I've failed at my rabbit rabbit rabbit post this month. Not only has it been a whirlwind of activity the past couple of days but my stupid phone is also so full of candy crush that I can't even take a picture of my calendar page!

How did I take that photo of the detective you ask? Every time it gives me the message that my storage is full I delete something off my phone to make room. I've had to make some really big cuts, but each time it bought me a few more pictures so it was worth it. Unfortunately, in the interim I would fill up that free space with more candy crush, until now I'm backed in to a corner. I literally went through my old text messages and manually deleted conversations but it still wasn't enough.

My upgrade isn't until January!! What do I do?!?!

I would be happy with chills

2014-07-29T19:46:00.001-07:00

I pass this little marina every time I go for a run but I usually don't even pay attention to it. I'm usually preoccupied trying to spy iguanas on the foundation of the drawbridge.

I guess it was the black one that caught my eye the other day. Whenever I see a boat that's not white I immediately think it must be Stephen Spielberg. Upon reviewing that post of Stephen Spielberg's actual boat I realize it's actually pretty distinctive.

Either way, once I noticed that boat I was looking at all the others in that little marina. They are all so huge. I found myself thinking, "wow, that one in the front is so small compared to the others". Except the one in the front is still friggin' huge!!

I don't need to be Stephen Spielberg, just tell me what I have to do to be able to afford Chills and I will do it.

it was delicious

2014-07-29T19:21:00.002-07:00

There was a big home sale at work last week so I finally got a proper set of pots and pans. To celebrate I made my classic chicken with vegetables and pasta, just super fancy.

The core of my recipe started a long time ago in my college days and was pretty simple back then. I've experimented with different ingredients and prep methods ever since and have it down to a pretty good routine. This time though I pulled out all the stops. I'm talking, deglazing the pan and making sauce kind of fancy.

The best part of waiting until tonight to write this post is that it just got me super excited for leftovers. I'm reluctantly using the microwave to reheat my dinner, I kind of want to break out the new cookware. Maybe I'll try a new recipe for my next meal.

Suggestions appreciated.

haha I love this

2014-07-26T21:37:00.002-07:00

via Reddit