I knew my boy would be athletic when he was around eight months old. We were at one of his older brother’s soccer games and I sat his plump little behind in the grass. He couldn’t move yet, so he simply screamed and reached his arms out toward an extra soccer ball lying a little ways down the field. I quickly grabbed it and rolled it toward him and for the entire 40 minute game he giggled and cackled and grinned as he batted the ball back and forth.

He’s five now and he is no longer a fat little baby. In fact, I sometimes wonder how it is his twiggy bird legs manage to hold him up all day long. But one thing has not changed – the boy loves sports.

While most kids his age are into Disney Jr. and CARS, my boy lives, eats and breathes baseball, basketball and…really, anything with a ball. The only station he knows how to find on TV is ESPN and there are some mornings when I walk out and find him engrossed in the highlight reel.

I am then forced to drink my coffee while listening to the run down on which teams are doing well and which teams are “being crushed.”

Last weekend, we took a weekend trip and stayed in a hotel where I got the misfortune blessing of sleeping with my sporty cherub. By the way he kicked me repeatedly in the kidneys all night long, I assumed he had a mad game of soccer going down in his sleep. Around 2:00 am, however, he yelled out, “Homerun!” followed by a contented sigh. He finally settled after that so I can only assume he won the game.

When Landon was three and a half, our beloved St. Louis Cardinals went to the World Series and in a wild 7 Game series, they clinched the title. We watched Game 7 with all three kids in the bar section of Buffalo Wild Wings because we are awesome parents…and because we didn’t have cable at our house.

As the Cards batted their way to World Series Champs, Landon fought to stay awake. But the game didn’t end until midnight and finally sleep took over and he fell asleep on my lap. In the bar.

Every time I tell this story, I feel a strong urge to quote Reese Witherspoon: “Look at you. You have a baby…in a bar.”

He was so disappointed to miss the final innings of the game, so when the DVD highlight series came out, I bought it, and in the year since we’ve owned the “Cardinals World Serious” he has watched in no less than 65 times. Last week he was sick and he watched the entire series, from Game 1 to 7, every day, twice a day.

He calls every play before it happens. He talks along with the announcers. (“Pujols will score, Berkman will score, Freese into the third! This game is TIED UP!”) He sings along with the music in the background.

And every time he watches the stunning Game 6 win when David Freese hits a walk off homerun in the 11th inning to force a Game 7, he falls to his knees and screams as though it’s the first time while anyone nearby runs for cover from his enthusiastic need to form a dog pile.

If it weren’t for that child and his older brother, I wouldn’t know (nor would I care about) baseball statistics, or the entire starting line-up of the Miami Heat. I wouldn’t swelter on hot bleachers during a weekend of baseball tournaments and I wouldn’t bite all my nails off nervously as I watch them pitch.

I wouldn’t do a lot of things if it weren’t for those two little men.

I love the adventure of raising boys.

 Your turn! Write a post with one of your funny boy stories (or pictures) and link up here. Let’s laugh together…and really, we might as well help each other understand the mechanics of sports. I still don’t understand how they come up with batting averages.

Have a funny story to share? Leave your link here!

This is a sponsored post. The materials were provided for review, but all opinions are 100% our own!

We here at the MOB have been big fans of Doorposts for a long time and they have delivered yet again with two fabulous new Bible studies we think you will love! One is for all you busy mamas – and I think we all qualify for that – and one is for those boys in the pre-teen age group and up!

Let’s start with the boys…

Because You Are Strong: A Study of Godly Strength for Young Men is a new Bible study that will help young men gain a biblical view of strength and use that strength wisely, for God’s glory.

Intended for boys ages 10 and up, strength is examined in reference to God, Jesus, and several biblical heroes in the ten studies found in Because You Are Strong for 74 days of study! With all of the extra study ideas included, this could be a year-long Bible study for your son!

This book will also introduce your guy to practical Bible study skills like how to:

• Use a concordance.
• Study the original Greek & Hebrew words used in a passage.
• Perform a character study.
• Study a specific topic in the Bible.
• Understand and use marginal notes in your Bible.
• Study a verse, passage, chapter, or entire book of the Bible.
• Use free Bible study tools on computers and mobile devices.

My sons are not old enough for this yet, but when they are, this is exactly the kind of study I want them working through! I want them learning early on how to study words and make applications and all of the Bible study skills taught in this book! And I just love the focus on GODLY strength. This is not a book about physical strength, but the kind of strength found only in God. For all of you asking about a Bible study for pre-teen and teen boys, THIS is where you should start! {Plus the cover looks really cool!}

Now, for you, Mom…

While I haven’t used Because You Are Strong yet with my boys, I HAVE used this incredible new Bible study for moms and I’m so excited to tell you about it!

Thirty Days of Bible Study for Busy Mamas: Colossians 3 was an answer to prayer for me this spring! I’ve been wanting to start “marking up” my Bible more – make it come alive with notes and color codes and whatever else He speaks to me as I’m reading His Word. But the truth was, I had NO idea where to start and the perfectionist in me didn’t want to start writing in my “good Bible” until I had a set plan.

And then this book by Pam Forster arrived in the mail.

The premise is that busy mamas don’t have time for Bible study but they NEED it. I can wholeheartedly agree with that! Thirty Days of Bible Study For Busy Mamas is set up to help you, as a busy mom, dive deep into the Scriptures in five minute chunks each day – whenever and wherever you can fit it in!

I am halfway through the study right now and I absolutely love the way Pam breaks down Colossians 3 into meaningful topics and directs my focus to prayer, application in my own life, journaling, and even ways to share what I’ve learned with the kiddos!

And wouldn’t you know, at the back of the book, Pam has laid out many of the ways she marks up her Bible with colors and symbols to help her understand and remember what she reads! I have been using many of her methods and adopting some of my own – I. LOVE. IT. {Why did I let so much time pass before I started doing this?!}

Colossians 3 has been a great book for me to study in this way, and I am thrilled to say there are more Thirty Days of Bible Study for Busy Mamas in the works!

The even better news for you today is that Doorposts hit 10,000 Facebook fans yesterday {thanks to many of you!}, so…

They are offering $10 off any order of $10 or more through 5:00 p.m. Pacific time Friday, May 17th! Use the code THANKS10K at checkout! {This does not apply to shipping costs or previously placed orders and may not be combined with other offers!}

Check out these two great new resources and the whole Doorposts line and get your $10 off now!

Sometimes our obligation to protect trumps their need for privacy.

At fourteen, my boy-of-few-words texts as if he’s full of nonstop chatter. Which I know is common for any adolescent with a phone. But upon a random check, my curiosity peaks when his inbox and outbox are empty. As if erasing texts is a technique to hide something.

My gut tells me something’s going on. And being the mama bear I am, I begin to hunt. The clock chases me and I need to pick him up soon, but I log on to his Facebook account and start looking anyway. And what I find jolts me out of my chair.

There, in a private Facebook message is a picture. A picture of a girl, in what looks like her underwear, and it’s not the Hanes variety! She is posing and flaunting what she has, with her head cropped out of the picture in an attempt to be more seductive. And I recognize her name. She’s a girl from church who attends the mid-week youth service with her friends. And the comment she writes underneath her picture provides the suggestive language to match the image.

I scan the thread between them, and am disappointed in what I read. He responds to the scandalous sensuality she serves up on a platter. It’s an unsolicited feast, offered to his eyes for free. It is something he fails to resist.

I start the car and drive to the school, and a conversation ensues. He admits her behavior makes him uncomfortable and yet agrees it is flattering for a girl to give him that kind of attention. He knows what she did was wrong, but admits to feeling powerless to do anything about it.

The time to protect is now.

I get home and I do what any other loving mama would … I open my phone and dial the girl’s mama. At first he doesn’t want me to. He’s embarrassed and begs me not to call. But I cannot be moved. If that had been my daughter, baring her skin in a shameless and degrading way, telling the world her dignity is worth nothing and her virtue is of no value, I would want some boy’s mama to give me a call.

My heart races as I dial, and pounds harder with each ring. I’m unsure how she’ll respond but I am not turning back. She answers on the fourth ring and is shocked to find out her daughter has a Facebook page, or even knows how to upload a picture on the internet. She is so thankful I called.

I ask for her help in terminating our children’s interaction and she offers to block his number from her daughter’s phone. I offer to send her the picture if she needs it. And no more than 10 minutes pass before she calls me back, asking for the copy … sad that her daughter is denying it all.

Although my son is initially upset with me, several days later he stops, and he thanks me.

He thanks me for helping him manage a situation that made him uncomfortable.

A situation full of the potential to escalate.

A situation he may never have had the willpower to resist alone.

Sometimes our obligation to protect frees them even from themselves. 

In this electronics age, managing our boys and their electronics can be tricky. From texting, to Facebook, Twitter, You Tube, and Xbox gaming, it’s a fine line between their desire for privacy and our obligation to protect them.

Below are four tips to help us balance our boys’ desires for privacy with our parental obligation to protect them … words offered with the utmost humility, from a mama still learning the delicate balance herself.

4 Tips to Establish a Balance for Boys

1. Maintain complete password knowledge

As we prepare our children for adulthood we are responsible to guide, protect, advise and counsel. Without knowledge of what they are facing, we become handicapped at best, and uselessly incapacitated at worst. The bottom line is, if they want an account, we must always know the password.

2. Review accounts regularly, and more frequently if there is cause

Our boys deserve gradations of freedom as they show themselves to be responsible. Privacy is an earned privilege, not an automatic right. In order to protect them from themselves and others, it is prudent to periodically review their email, text, and social media accounts. As teens they are still growing and learning. And they need our guidance more than ever throughout these pre-launch years. It’s not about disrespecting their privacy, but about empowering them in who they are becoming.

3. Restrict erasing or deleting of messages without permission

In order to have the ability to randomly monitor emails, texts, and social media accounts, it is important there is no deleting without permission. This parameter removes the element of dishonesty which is so tempting for our boys and holds them accountable for their activity and interaction with others.

4. Establish an electronics “turn-in” policy

In reviewing my son’s texting history, I discovered he had been texting with peers up until midnight at times. Instead of sleeping with his phone quietly charging, he had been using it to interact. No wonder he was so tired every morning!

If we wouldn’t physically ring a house phone at a certain hour, then we shouldn’t be texting or interacting either. As parents, establishing an electronics station where items are turned in each night, prevents the temptation to use them at inappropriate times, and also helps to manage the endless distraction so rampant because of them.

Have you struggled to balance privacy with protection?

What tips would you offer to help in helping balance the two?

Technology.

Remember what it used to consist of? I do. For me, it involved sitting down at my Commodore 64 and typing in a bunch of DOS codes in order to access my software. It meant floppy disks, incredibly loud dot matrix printers, and the use of a joystick in order to play computer games (which would always cause my eyes to cross after focusing on those one-dimensional images for too long).  As a kid, technology was primitive at best, right?

But not anymore.

These days we’re raising our children in the midst of technology-driven world.  From social media to online gaming sites, from cell phones to Ipads, it’s a completely different environment from the one we grew up in. It’s crazy! But as out of control as this realm appears to have become, it’s our job as parents to figure out how to navigate it. And it’s a domain that often times, many of us don’t completely understand ourselves.

So, how can we protect our kids?

As a mom to two boys (ages four and eight), let me just tell you that I have certainly struggled with this issue as of late. Thankfully, my youngest son has yet to show an interest in the computer (unless it’s to participate in an Elmo adventure or two), but my eldest boy? Well, he’s reached the age of Internet exploration. He’s looking to check out the latest and greatest in Tech Deck tutorials on You Tube and the likes. He’s interested in playing games, watching skateboarding videos, and discovering the most up-to-date tricks he can perform on his BMX bike. His motives are innocent, but the playing field in which he’s toying with is definitely not.

You see it just takes a second, just one wrong peck on the keyboard and boom(!), your boy has the potential of being thrust into a very adult world. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way (a few months back) after allowing my pre-tween to access You Tube. Rather than learning of a new bike trick,  he was introduced to pornography instead. Yep. He involuntarily stumbled upon (and into) a world I never wanted him to know about.

Sigh.

Gosh, my anxiety creeps up and in each time I recollect this incident. It’s upsetting, it’s infuriating…but as a mom what I’ve realized from this instance is that I’ve got to do a better job of protecting him from such images. It’s up to me to safeguard my electronic devices, implement better guidelines, and prep my kids against the harm that lurks there, waiting to be discovered.

Here are a few suggestions that you and your family can apply in order to promote safer technology practices both in and outside of your home:

1.)  Computer Central: Move your computer to a central location within your home. Get it out of the back room or office and put it in a place where your family spends most of its time. If you have an Ipad or Kindle, the same thing applies. Make sure your computer and the technology your kids are accessing are within your sights and being monitored…often.

2.)  Get Guidelines: Whether it’s the Ipad, the cell phone, or the family computer, make sure you have a list of rules that each of your children are aware of (and agree to abide by) when it comes to their use of technology. Stick to these guidelines, continue to monitor their internet activity diligently, and don’t waiver.

3.)  When the Kids are Away…yes, they may just play. Make sure that you are in communication with your children’s friends (and their parents). If your son’s headed over for a sleepover (or to play at a friend’s house), insist that they’re not allowed to use the computer unless an adult is present. Keep communication lines open with your children and the parents of their friends at all times because when it comes to Internet safety, being known as the super strict parent isn’t such a bad thing, eh?  And it’s always better to be safe rather than sorry. Basically, you need to make sure that your preferences are known and respected. Period.

4.)  Talk Amongst Yourselves: There are a number of parental controls/software you can install on your computer (have you checked out http://www.covenanteyes.com yet?), but why not go one step further? Discuss (in an age-appropriate manner) some of the activity that transpires on the Internet, why it’s necessary to implement rules for their safety, etc.  Help them to understand the need for such things. Check out these resources to assist you:

http://www.nap.edu/netsafekids/pro_set_guidelines.html

http://www.nap.edu/netsafekids/pro_sh.html

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/552

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/542

5.)  Sign Says: This idea comes directly from my pastor and is one I’ve deemed too clever not to pass on. Make a small plaquard for every technological device in your home and inscribe it with the following message:

“Would Jesus watch this with you?”

Not only will this help our children to really think about their choices, but it will also serve as a great reminder (to all of us) in helping to limit what we watch on television, and what we’re dialed into on the Internet. Accountability, my dear friends.

So now it’s your turn, moms. Tell me, what have you found to be successful as far as monitoring your child’s online activity? What do you still struggle with?

Do you remember the song?

“Be careful, little eyes, what you see. Be careful, little eyes, what you see. For the Father up above is looking down in love So be careful, little eyes, what you see.”

That solution makes the electronics problem seem so much more manageable. Just be careful what you let them see.

But there’s so much more to it than that.

The easiest way to control something is just to remove it from your kids. But is that best? There comes a time when our sons will need to make decisions on their own. Our job is to train them for that day.

If we simply spoon feed, what do we end up doing?

British novelist E.M. Forster wrote, “Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.” If we’re always providing the spoon, how will they judge for themselves when we’re not there? We can’t control what our sons are exposed to at school, in a friend’s home, or in other situations. We have to teach them to discern. And that starts early.

Before our sons reach a critical-thinking stage, we must make choices for them. But as they get older, we can teach them to discern by engaging them in biblical discussion about the images and ideas they encounter every day.

The opportunity will arise for them to make their own choices. And when that happens, if they’ve learned to discern, they’ll have guidelines in place that will help govern their choices.

So, how can we teach them to discern?

1. Watch, read, listen, or play with them.

I know this is tough, and Mom can’t do it all the time. Years ago we worried about television being the electronic babysitter and today’s moms are asking the same questions about all the screens. Granted, sometimes you need a break – a moment away.

But make a habit of watching (or playing) with them as they engage in a new site, game, or video. Save the old standby, the tried-and-true that you know is safe, for the time that you need to disconnect a little.

2. When do you read, watch, or play with them, ask thought-provoking questions.

“Why is he unhappy?”

“Why did the character do that?”

“How do you get points? Is that worth it?”

We watch, listen, play, or read for a reason. Sure, sometimes electronics or other things are simply used as a distraction, a time filler. Even when they are, they’re not empty of meaning. There’s a plot to the game being played. It has a purpose and the player is often a character in that plot. Teach your sons to be aware of that storyline and its meaning. Help them get to the bottom line, to see what’s being taught or emphasized or glorified in that activity.

3. Set a good example.

Parents have long been told, “Don’t leave the TV on all the time.” Well, the same goes for all the electronics. Don’t just silence them or walk away. Turn them off! (Yours and theirs.)

If you have teens with cell phones (and you battle with this yourself), why not try the Phone Bin? All phones go in the bin once school is over and parents are home for the day. Set a time for them to be checked again, in case kids need to communicate about schoolwork or jobs.

4. Keep electronics in a central location.

I know, part of the allure of electronics is that they’re so portable. But if you establish a place for that type of play, you’re already limiting it, putting fences around its use. And it does make it much easier for you to monitor what’s being watched or played.

5. Plan your family’s electronics use.

Show you’re committed to not letting the monster take over by harnessing it. Set firm rules about times for electronic use and stick to them. As moms know, sticking to the rules is half the battle!

6. Be honest and open about the pitfalls and encourage them to do the same.

If you can admit to your son your temptation to veg out on Pinterest, explaining why you make the choice to step away, there’s a greater chance you’ll hear a few honest admissions from him as well. Honesty has to be a valued trait if you expect your son to seek your help as he learns to discern. When he tells you about something he watched with a friend, thank him for leveling with you. Talk honestly and openly about its value or the lack of it. That will go a long way toward his independence.

How do these things help our sons learn to discern?

They show that electronics, like everything else in our family life, has its place. We teach that it’s responsible to plan and to choose, not to just indulge.

Communicating to our sons that we do what we do for a reason shows them that we’re to be responsible stewards of the time God has given us. Even play can be God-glorifying … or not.

So when you’re tempted to say “No,” why not follow that up with, “No, because have you ever thought about…”

Because our goal is not just to keep those images from their eyes, now and forever…

It’s to train them to care about how they spend their time, to help them to see that all we do matters to our Father and to the relationship we have with Him.

What other suggestions do you have for helping boys learn to be discerning?

It started before I had time to figure it all out.

That thing called pressure but not called it out loud but instead, this phrase, proclaimed loudly from school-age boy lips:

But mom…all my other friends have that video game! Why can’t I?

And therein, the beginning of my new mom reality: sometimes having high standards means saying no to things others say yes to.

Good people. People who go to church just like me, bathe their kids in hand sanitizer, won’t let them have soda or Fun Dip, except on the last day of school.

The reality is, boy mom, as long as there are boys there will be video games to interest them. And sometimes, not only will good people around you say yes to things you would say no to…but that sweet boy you have so nobly tried to shelter from violence, recklessness, and other bad things will surprise you by being interested.

My boys are now 15 and 12 and I’m still figuring it out.  But here are a few things I’ve learned along the way of balancing the yes with the no when it comes to technology – my mom creed, of sorts, about how I will handle the frequent requests and complications.

• I will be reasonably responsible. I will say yes to things when I possibly can [when they don’t violate standards we have set for our home, based on Scripture] so when I need to say no they carry more weight.
• I will understand that things won’t always be cut and dried.  I will need to weigh things, pray over them, and truly consider the why behind the yes or no. I won’t base my decision on what others are doing, just as I won’t say no without consideration.
• I will be educated and vigilant.  I will need to stay engaged, always, even when the boys are older and the autonomy is greater.  I will check into movies before I let them watch, monitor amount of time spent on video games or other media, and not assume something is ok just because someone else says it is.
• I will be willing to not always be popular.  I will need to set aside my need to be popular with my boys, if it means that I would be a facilitator of the compromise of their mind, heart or relationship with God.
• I will stay steady and not panic.  I will not go into panic mode if and when the time comes that my son(s) show interest in a game that I would never want them to play, knowing the interest is not completely unnatural and the pressure from peers is strong.
• I will be consistent with core beliefs.  I will not confuse my boys by allowing them to engage in certain games, movies, and other social media that in any way compromises the things we say we value in our home.
• I will not underestimate the power of technology.  I will not assume that video games are harmless and don’t affect my sons, no matter what case they may present to me as why they are ok.
• I will help them know how to live outside of a video game world by teaching them to engage in real relationships.  I will help my boys with things like face-to-face conversations, eye contact, responsibility, empathy and respectfulness so they are equipped to carry out and enjoy interpersonal relationships in the real world.

And as I continue to learn on the job and keep trying it figure it all out, I will remember that these boys have been entrusted to me for such a time as this, and with that honor comes the gift of saying both yes and no.

What are some things you might add to this list?

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