Upon Reflection

Jordan Peterson and the Question of Belief

2019-05-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Within the past few months I stumbled upon Jordan Peterson. And by "stumbled" I mean, I was binge watching his videos for pretty much all of November and December last year once I was introduced to him. Some of you may know exactly who I am referring to and I'm sure many of you have no idea who he is as well.

Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist from Canada, who is known for his contributions to conversations on psychology, philosophy, politics, and religion. His videos with Joe Rogan and a contentious and laughable TV interview with Channel 4 News are a couple of the videos that gained him a significant following. Also his highly publicized book entitled "12 Rules for Life" has sold over 3 million copies so far.

His personal YouTube channel has nearly 2 million subscribers and one of his most popular lecture series on the stories of Genesis consists of two-hour-long videos each with hundreds of thousands of views and in some cases millions. He captured the attention of so many people, who never would have ever considered listening to approximately 40 hours of lectures on the Bible, and presented the stories in a more sophisticated manner than many of us experienced in Sunday school. I found them to be incredibly fascinating (especially the one on Cain and Abel) and I linked one of my favorite excerpts from his lectures below to give you a quick peek into who he is.

He never claims to be a theologian but sought to demonstrate the value in these older texts and the lessons that could be learned from reading them. He never even claims to be a theist, atheist, or agnostic during his conversations. The result of his lecture series though, among his many other interviews and lectures, is that people have been reconsidering their own personal beliefs and worldviews. And not just that, there are many cases of people being lifted out of depression and nihilism. So what the heck is going on with this guy and the people who are listening to his lectures?

At the end of each lecture, he would have a time for attendees to ask questions. And one of the most common questions he gets presented with is "Do you believe in God?" It's a personal question. It is a question so often asked to determine which group are you in. Do you belong to the Christian, agnostic, or atheist communities or a different faith group all together? We like to delineate ourselves and see if we're rooting for the same teams. Especially with all of the success and publicity he has received recently, there are many people clamoring to hear him identify with their group.

I'm sure at some point in our lives we have all been asked this exact question. Sometimes we're prepared to give an emphatic "yes" or "no", or maybe we cringe a bit at the question and evade an answer out of fear of how our answer will be received. Many have felt pressured into saying they believe something that inside they really don't believe. Or maybe among friends and family, there is a pressure to say we do or don't believe in a God, because the alternative answer would be unpopular or shameful.

Jordan Peterson, put into a similarly awkward position, however gives quite an interesting response. He most often replies to this question with the response "It depends what you mean by 'God' and it depends what you mean by 'believe'?"

His response initially seems like a cop out. "C'mon man... just answer the question!" But I think as you listen to his lectures you realize the genuineness with which he says it and the deeper reasoning behind the response.

The word "God" can mean so many different things to so many different people. Do you mean the old white dude up in the clouds standing behind the pearly gates? Do you mean white Jesus with the dashing brown hair and those spiffy brown sandals who's everybody's best friend? Do you mean that judgmental God who is willing to let people burn in hell because they didn't obey the rules? Do you mean the Jesus who would be taking part in social justice parades today or rocking a MAGA hat? Or a different God from a different religion all together?

And what about the question of "What do you mean by belief?" Is it just a verbal proclamation? Is it mostly an intellectual posture? Is it a matter of how we act? Is belief a one-time occurrence in our lives where we say the magical prayer so we get an out-of-jail free card to go to heaven?

To answer "Do you believe in God?" with a simple "yes" or "no" requires so many assumptions that we may be completely misunderstanding each other when discussing the topic. I think that is why Jordan Peterson responds the way he does. And I think it's for this reason that he has gained so much popularity. Jordan Peterson elaborates in over 40 hours worth of these lectures that God and belief, among many other topics, are not so simplistic, that there is more nuance to the conversation, and he allows his listeners to explore their own ideas.

The Bible is full of stories of people's understanding and knowledge of God changing as they experienced him. Even the disciples, those closest to Jesus, had their understanding of who God was completely changed within the last week of his life. Jordan Peterson, though not a self-proclaimed Christian, is wrestling in front of everyone with who he thinks God is and it has been changing people in incredible ways, myself included.

And dare I say that we can look elsewhere than the Bible to gain an understanding and knowledge of God? I think Jordan Peterson's contention with the tragedies of the 20th century and watching his own daughter struggle with debilitating health issues that has shaped his understanding the way it has.

Jordan Peterson in one of his interviews said that he avoids answering this question with a simple "yes" or "no" because he isn't even scratching the surface in his forty hours of biblical lectures. That takes humility to admit that honestly. And I think it's his authenticity that really makes people gravitate to his messages. He doesn't provide an exhaustive explanation of who God is or what it means to believe because he can't, and if we're being honest, none of us can.

I agree with so much of what he says but not everything. But that's not really the point. He's clearly struck a chord with so many that were longing for this type of long-form conversation on God and meaning within our lives. It's been absent for so many of us and I think there's been a longing for it. I would highly recommend watching his videos, especially if you're within the church, because I think there are many things to be learned from him from how he has conversations, the insight he can give into the psychology of the human mind, and a fresh outsiders view on the value of these stories.

Maybe we can all revel a little more in the mystery surrounding who God is. Maybe it's okay for us to admit just how little we know and be willing to ask tough questions. Maybe it's in the seeking out of who God is that we will find the deepest and most profound answers. Maybe Jordan Peterson just might be helping this younger generation take a step back and really assess what we all believe in and what "belief" really means.

Why We Shouldn't Throw Away Fairy Tales

2019-04-16T16:14:00.003-07:00

One of the things I most look forward to as a father will be the opportunity to read stories to my son. Morgan and I have already started the habit of rocking him to sleep while reading books and I am excited for when he's old enough to really engage with the stories.

For some reason, there's something about stories that resonates so much with me and maybe that's the case for you as well. I'm not ashamed to say I'm the type of guy who gets teary-eyed at the end of movies like Up, Wreck-It Ralph, and Toy Story 3. How can you not shed a tear when Carl gives Russell the Ellie badge, when Ralph is sacrificing himself into Diet Coke Mountain, or when Woody, Buzz, Jessie and their friends are all about to be melted in the incinerator and they are locked arm-in-arm facing it together?

These stories don't have to be animated films though to create these deep feelings. Maybe war films like Saving Private Ryan conjure up similar emotions as you witness their camaraderie and sacrifice. While they aren't usually my cup of tea, romantic films like The Notebook get people welling with emotion as they see the deep love Allie and Noah share. Or maybe you were feeling emotional when half of our favorite heros from the Marvel Cinematic Universe vanished into dust before our eyes in Avengers: Infinity War. Hopefully no one needed a spoiler alert on that last one!

Maybe the stories that most resonate with you are from literature. I remember the shock when reading Harry Potter and the scenes when Dumbledore and Snape died. As with any great piece of fictional writing, these were characters I had come to know and identify with and to read of their deaths was to in some way experience that myself.

These experiences drive us go to the movies and read books. These stories seem to point to certain values or ideals that resonate with so many of us. Even when we can't articulate into words what exactly in the story resonates with us, their impact is felt. In a way, these fictional stories, although they are not necessarily true historically, abstract out themes and concepts that are incredibly true to our real-life experiences as human beings.

What's interesting is that lately there seems to have been more dialogue about Disney's princess stories. Now I'm not going to argue that the Disney version of these older stories are the epitome of fairy tales, but I do think that they are the ones we collectively are the most familiar with.

Keira Knightley, an actress probably most commonly known for her role in the Pirates of the Caribbean, recently said on Ellen that the movies Cinderella and The Little Mermaid are banned in her house because of their depiction of women. Her comments sparked some discussion with people voicing both support and opposition to her thoughts. I don't think she's alone in holding these opinions.

Even a scene in Ralph Breaks the Internet, featuring the Disney princesses, which I will admit I found to be humorous (and still do), poked fun at the past princess stories that Disney had created and as stated in news headlines "spoofed the Disney Princess Industrial Complex" and was a "moment that mattered." A scene like this would not have happened if Disney did not realize this was a widely shared sentiment.

As funny and creative as that scene is, the question remains... Is what this scene portrays about these older stories true? These movies have been mostly acclaimed since they were released. The question is then what changed recently? Are we better people today that we can look back on these stories and see them for what they really are? Or do we have a different and maybe inaccurate perspective on what these stories were really meant to convey?

Take Sleeping Beauty for instance. This is a story that could very easily be construed as "a woman is in trouble and needs a big strong man to save her." There is the obvious plot line of being willing to fight for true love, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing to teach. However, I think Sleeping Beauty contains a strong lesson on parenting.

Aurora's (Sleeping Beauty) parents, did not invite Maleficent to Sleeping Beauty's christening. In essence, her parents were unwilling to allow anything that could be potentially dangerous into her life, which I think we all know, whether or not we want to admit it, is impossible to do.

They were then confronted by Maleficent and issued a curse that on her 16th birthday she would die from pricking her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel. Her parents then decided that in order to protect their daughter, they would burn every spinning wheel in the kingdom and send her away to live with the three fairies. They decided to keep her secluded from all spinning wheels, which I think is a metaphor for all potential things that they believed could cause her harm. Interestingly though, they couldn't keep her from pricking her finger on the spinning wheel as Maleficent still found her way to Aurora.

There is so much more to this story that could be extracted. We could learn from the isolation of Maleficent contrasted with the family and community of all the other characters. Or we could compare Prince Phillip's courage to the fear of Aurora's father. Or how about the importance of strong female supporting characters (which is present in a lot of these fairy tales) around Aurora and the importance that mentorship has in a young person's life.

In Beauty and the Beast, Belle is responsible for redeeming the Beast and is by far the most admirable of all the characters. Gaston, represents the epitome of the self-aggrandizing jerk that I hope we all agree no man should be emulating. Ariel, Pocahontas, and Mulan all represent incredibly strong and courageous women in their stories. Cinderella is a great demonstration of good things coming to those who are diligent with their responsibilities and that is a great lesson for men and women of all ages.

Disney adapted these fairy tales that had been passed down for several centuries across cultures. There are reasons these stories were shared for so long and that Disney was willing to adapt them into films. You can compare it to evolution and survival of the fittest. These stories that have been handed down to us have been maintained because they speak to some of the deepest virtues and values that we have come to embrace as a culture better than other stories that have been told. Yes, they may be imperfect stories, and worthy of critique, but I think we need to be careful about thinking we are so different or (even worse) better, than our ancestors and that they cannot through their stories speak into our lives.

For the same reason that not every movie and story made today will be remembered 100 years from now, not all stories of old have been passed down by our ancestors to us. There's a reason Lion King will be remembered and not The Emoji Movie or why books like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter will last instead of The Twilight series.

I'm not saying we can't joke about these movies. I just think we need to carefully watch what we joke about, because it very easily and quickly be adopted as "truth."

It feels like there has been a growing disdain or casual indifference to most of what we inherit. It's almost like we've become so preoccupied with the mistakes of our ancestors that we are now in the process of trying to clean the slate of their influences in our lives, which often manifests as the throwing away of everything that they created, valued, and passed down to us, including their stories. We view these older stories as antiquated, irrelevant, or (even worse) oppressive in the themes they portray.

However, I think there is a real danger in this interpretation of these stories and as a result the dismissing of them. Reducing each of these stories down to the plot line of "a woman is in trouble and needs a big strong man to save her" or fill in the blanks "_______ is oppressed and needs the oppressor ________ to save them" is stripping these stories of their real value and intended message.

I'm not saying there's never been oppression, nor am I saying that these stories are perfect in the stories that they tell. However, I think we will be giving up on some of the best stories we have to learn from and discrediting the significance of what our ancestors learned if we just throw them away. I believe that the degree to which we decide to give critical thought to the themes of these stories is the degree to which we will draw benefit from them. Yes, we can still criticize these stories, but to discard them could be like throwing out the baby with the bathwater. And if that's the precedence we set, why should we expect our descendants to want to hear any of the stories we tell?

C.S. Lewis once said, "But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."

I hope we can continue to give these stories a chance to teach us and consider why they have been deemed valuable for so long. I think they have so much to teach not just my son, but me as well because they have been shared with so many people across time and have resonated with so many. I don't want to be a parent, like Aurora's father, that in an effort to shield my son from all of the potential malevolence in the world keeps him from living his life. Similarly , I think it's much better to engage with these stories and be able to learn through the process, then to not even give them a chance.

Let's be careful about what we decide to throw out because our ancestors are worth listening to and we may be getting rid of the very best they were trying to share with us.

The Lenses Through Which We See the World

2019-04-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Once a year I have to go see the optometrist. Each year it's the same old tests. "What are the smallest letters you are able to read?" To which I always reply, "I cannot read the big E without my contacts."

I'm usually laughing as I mention it because I know it's an E but it just looks like a blob. If it weren't for contacts and glasses, I would have a hard time believing I would still be alive today. Tough to imagine that I wouldn't have walked out into traffic or off a cliff by this point. Thank goodness for technology and for specialists who have been trained to help people like me attain eyesight. I wouldn't be able to function through life otherwise.

While we all may vary in our level of independence, we all to some degree or another depend on others. That is unless your a hermit tucked back in the middle of the woods. But you wouldn't be reading this blog post if that were the case....

Anyway, many of us see specialists to help us through all sorts of aspects of our lives. Doctors, financial advisers, and gym trainers are perfect examples. But they can't do everything for us. Even though we oftentimes rely heavily on their expertise, we almost always still have a role to play.

Doctors may recommend a treatment plan, but often it requires us to follow through on the recommended modifications and sometimes significant lifestyle changes to realize the desired health outcome. Financial advisers may recommend savings plans and investment strategies to get you to where you want to be financially in the future, but it requires discipline to stay to a budget and a commitment to achieve those financial goals. Gym trainers can encourage and push you through their recommended exercises to improve your health and conditioning, but ultimately you need to push yourself to actually complete the exercises and say no to that third Yum Yum Donut.

Our wants and needs drive us to pursue the assistance of others if we are unable on our own to meet our needs. We start planning for the future, knowing that we want to help pay for our child's tuition in the future or save for a new house, and seek the assistance of a financial planner to get there. We go through the holidays and pack on the pounds and then realize maybe I should get a trainer to lose this weight and keep it off. Recurring illnesses or pain may drive us to finally visit the doctor for a diagnosis.

Until we recognize the need or want, the need for assistance is not evident. More often than not though, the earlier the need is recognized and corrective actions are taken, the greater the outcome in the long run. Establishing good financial, exercise, and health habits at an early age is of much more benefit than waiting until later.

So this got me thinking, what want or need are people like mentors, life coaches, psychiatrists and pastors addressing? And I'm not talking about the life coach who helps you brush your teeth and not act like a snowflake. I'm talking about the life coach who helps feed you the thoughts that drive you to push through the daily grind. To get up in the morning with a purpose and be able to keep pushing through life. Because it can be a grind at times.

Now I realize there can be significant differences between all of these people. There are substantially different qualifications for being a life coach, a mentor, a pastor, and a psychiatrist. But I think there is some significant overlap in the roles these people play in the lives of others.

Paul Vanderklay, a pastor who runs his own YouTube channel, which I would highly recommend, defined his role as a pastor as "helping people align their story with the story of others and the story of the Bible." Now, this is not necessarily a post about pastoring. For the purposes of generalizing this for all mentors, life coaches, and spiritual leaders we could replace "the story of the Bible" part of his quote with "a framework or lens through which we see the world."

Our story can be quite complex. There have been things within our control and many things out of our control. Highs and lows. Both comedic and tragic moments. Mistakes made and incredible feats accomplished along the way. Maybe there have been unrealized dreams or everything we could ever need has been handed to us. Each of our stories, though they may share some similarities, are incredibly unique.

The stories of others, although often hidden beneath the perfect facade of social media and our "put-together" behavior in public, often have many of the same elements that ours do. Pain, happiness, hardship, joy, strife, love, peace, war, injustice... The more you listen to other peoples stories and study history, the greater sense you get of how difficult and complex this world has been, continues to be, and always will be. A visit to the Holocaust museum or a brief study of the 20th century is all it needs to be overwhelmed with the heaviness of the human condition.

Today more than any other time in history we are confronted with, more often than not, the worst of the worst stories in the world. Mass casualty shootings, natural disasters, the spread of disease, wars, kidnappings and murders, sexual predators, corrupted institutions... At no other time in history have we been bombarded with the tragedies of life from across the globe with the frequency and explicitness we do today. It doesn't take long to see the depravity of this world and how incredibly sad and difficult the stories of humans have been and continue to be.

And this is why I love how Paul Vanderklay defines his role as a pastor. In addition to knowing your own story and engaging with the stories of others is the need to have a framework or lens through which to understand these stories. For those of you who go to optometrists you are probably familiar with a phoropter. (Don't feel bad if you didn't know the name for it because I certainly didn't.)

The optometrist will continue to change the lenses in front of your eyes and check your vision to see how clearly you read the letters in front of you. The very first lens used usually provides a very low resolution view of the letters, but as additional lenses get added or changed, your vision should improve assuming your seeing an optometrist worth his or her salt.

Likewise, the role of mentors, life coaches, and spiritual leaders in our lives is to help us to find a lens or framework through which we can see our lives and the lives of others in the greatest clarity possible that we can. Easier said than done, because as I stated before this world is incredibly difficult and the more you study the human condition the more complex the framework and precise the lens must be for us to function well. I think more often to not, the emotional, spiritual, and mental turmoil we all experience is almost always due to dissonance between our story, the stories of others, and the framework or lens we are using to view the world.

Maybe we haven't dealt with an aspect of our story and really gotten to the root of an issue. Maybe we're so disconnected from others, that our story gets out of alignment of the shared human experience or we lose an understanding of others and what it means to relate with them. Or maybe our framework through which we view ourselves and others is incompatible with our life. Maybe the lens through which we view the world is directing us in a direction that does not lead to the betterment of our story, or to a life that is compatible with the rest of humanity.

Similar to the optometrist changing out lens as they are determining our prescription, we can all be modifying our frameworks to try understand the world, and I think that's so often done best with the assistance of others. As we talk through our lives and really dig into our perceptions of the world, the low resolution frameworks like happiness, popularity, power and money being the meanings of life will inevitably have to be replaced by higher resolution lenses through which we can see the world if we will ever be able to handle the complex and difficult stories that we all share. And who knows, maybe that new worldview that we adopt can take us beyond a state of just coping with the difficulties of life and extend to a greater appreciation of what existence has to offer.

We may never get a 20/20 vision of the world, but here's to hoping we can all at least read the big E of life, whatever that may be, and continue to refine our worldview from there. And don't be afraid to reach out to someone for guidance. We all need guidance whether we wish to admit it or not. Just like the optometrist is saving me from blindly walking into traffic or off a cliff, that person, or those people may help us from falling into the deepest pits of life. We have a role to play in figuring out our way but we weren't meant to figure this out on our own.

For Those of Us on the Naughty List

2014-12-07T04:37:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for the Christmas season. Every Christmas Eve for several years now, my family has watched Elf. It's become a tradition, and I tradition that I really hope we hold on to for years and years to come. I've probably seen it close to 30 times and can proudly quote a majority of the movie. One of my favorite scenes from Elf is when Buddy is prepared to go to New York City and begin his quest to find his dad. Santa gives Buddy his tips and insight before he commences his journey to the Big Apple and ends it with this brilliant and memorable moment in the movie.

Will Ferrell does an impressive job imitating the behavior of a young child throughout this movie. His reaction to finding out his father is on the naughty list is so spot on for the reaction of a typical child. I can recall a specific instance on Christmas Eve asking my mother if she thought I had been good enough that year to be on the Nice List. While I don't remember exactly what I had done that year, I do remember the unrest I had inside. Had I done enough good? Had I done too much bad? What bad things did my parents know about that I didn't want them to know about? It weighed heavily on my young mind.

Getting an ambiguous reply from my mother, which I now know was an opportunity to get some sick enjoyment out of my suffering that night (just kidding Madre), lead me to think even more about this whole naughty-nice thing. What was the criteria? How "nice" was nice? How "naughty" was naughty? Did I just have to be above the 50th percentile? Was it a scale where as long as the good outweighed the bad, I made the nice list? What was the standard?

There was something raw about this night, something that made it so memorable. I was not at rest whatsoever. In fact, I don't recall sleeping much of that night at all because I realized I really hadn't been as nice of a kid that year as I should have been. As much as I wanted that new Gameboy, Nerf gun, K'NEX set, or whatever the hot toy was that year, a part of me didn't feel deserving of it.

As I laid in bed, staring for hours at the ceiling and listening to the soft ticking of my wall clock, it was easy to make up excuses, distort the narrative, or look at good and bad actions in terms of a scale as ways to justify or avoid confronting mistakes, but it didn't really give me relief. I've hurt people. I've done things that, simply put, were not right.

Despite trying to be as good as possible, I've become exhausted with the pursuit of perfection, because it's not attainable. Deep down, there are things I know I should and should not do and my life has not always aligned with these. I know that the "good person" label should be reserved for those doing good and whole acts and thoughts 100% of the time. With perfection as the standard, I see myself as deserving of the naughty list. Despite my best efforts at being good, I know I have and will continue to come up short.

So I guess I may as well give up hope then right? I may as well invest in a furnace for all the coal I will be accumulating. If I can't do it on my own what hope is left?

Eugene Cho, pastor of Quest Church, spoke at Collyde Summit this past September and one part of his speech regarding this topic really resonated with me. He had recently been pulled over for going well above the speed limit. With this context he gave us three different scenarios.

In the first, the officer gave him the ticket for the full offense despite his pleading for a lesser or nonexistent punishment. In the second, the officer forgot the offense and let him go without penalty. In the third, the officer gave him the ticket for the full offense. But then, the officer pulled out his own checkbook and wrote a check for an amount greater than that on the ticket and gave it to the driver.

The first scenario depicts justice. The driver was in the wrong for speeding, and the authority gave him the appropriate penalty. The second depicts mercy. While he was wrong for speeding, the authority did not punish him for it. He had forgotten or excused his mistake. The third however, depicts grace. It makes no sense. The man who is at fault, is blessed by the authority despite his wrong doing. He did nothing to deserve the check and yet the authority gave it to him. The authority takes the penalty upon himself and substitutes himself for the driver.

If you were to personally experience all 3 of these, which would leave the biggest impact on you? Which one would most likely cause you to stop speeding in the future? I'm assuming most would say scenario #3.

The thing is that our mistakes are worse than a speeding offense. That "raw" feeling I experienced as a young child, was a real confrontation with the fact that there is something wrong with me. That I'm not as good as I should be.

Michael Yankoski illustrates it well in his book "The Sacred Year."

"So sin is like cancer, eating us alive, diminishing what we're made to be. It's a cancer of the mind, a cancer of the heart, a cancer of the soul. And it has spread out like a tumor throughout our whole selves. And like the Bible says, 'the wages of sin,' like the effects of untreated cancer, 'is death."

This life can weigh heavily on us, wear us down, and change us. We lose our childhood innocence and start to justify actions and behaviors just because that's how the world works. Just like doctor's exams aren't often pleasant, looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves for who we are is not easy or pleasant, but it's necessary. And there's hope!

As we enter the Christmas season, lets celebrate that we've been offered the gift of grace through the life of Jesus Christ. A man who did no wrong during his life, gave up his own perfect life for us. Like the officer, giving out of his own checkbook the payment for the ticket, Jesus paid the price of our mistakes with his own perfect life. Not out of indifference for us, but because he truly loves us. If his action was as simple as writing a check I could label it as indifference. But the fact that he was beaten, whipped, mocked, pierced with nails and thorns, and crucified on a cross to make that exchange for our wrongs, tells me it was out of love.

He came to give this gift to everyone, especially those who saw themselves as people who regret past actions. If you don't believe me read Luke 15:11-32 or Luke 18:9-14. And that love, is enough to turn people from the bad things we've done to the more fulfilling life of good. It's a gift that we don't deserve, but that is offered to us. It doesn't matter what we've done, because he paid for it all on the cross and continues to change lives everyday. People have been and continue to be freed from addictions, greed, lust, envy, hate, self-loathing, pride, gluttony, anger, and the list goes on. He wants to remove that cancer from our lives. He wants so much more for us. If you haven't accepted this gift, please know that He waits anxiously for you to open it.

Wouldn't you accept the check from the officer? Will you accept the gift of forgiveness, acceptance, and love from God? Trust me, it's the best gift one can receive.

To those of us feeling deserving of the naughty list, I hope we can all enjoy the freedom, peace, and hope that comes with the Christmas season! As Line #2 in the Code of the Elves says, "There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Longing for Something Different

2013-09-22T19:12:00.003-07:00

This past year has seemed especially difficult. Natural disasters, international tensions, shootings, bombings, all on top of our personal hardships that wear us down repetitively. And while it seems like this year has been particularly difficult, which I believe it has been, these hardships have always been a component of the story-line.

Just a couple weeks ago we remembered the terrible event 12 years ago, that shook our nation and demonstrated just how evil man can be and just how much pain a people can endure. And this isn't by any means the lone instance of this. Just think back to history class when we learned of all of the suffering that has occurred in the history of mankind, let alone just in the past century.

Oppressive leaders, sex-trafficking, child abuse, poverty, racism, hunger, disease and illness, war, genocide, slavery, domestic violence.... Our news is saturated with hard times, sad stories of pain, and the cruel actions of so many people. But is this new? Has there ever been a peaceful time? A time without pain, or hardship, or suffering? A time where everyone treated everyone else with complete respect and received the same?

It seems like a lofty thing for us to ask of humanity (this whole peace and love thing), and yet isn't that what we hope for? Why do we feel as if the world should be different if this is all we've experienced? Hardships, pain, and turmoil is "normal", the only thing we've known, and yet we long for something different. It's like desiring apple pie when you haven't tasted apples or pie before.

So have you personally ever noticed this gap? Have you longed for a better world despite the repetitive failure of our circumstances to even come close to meeting that expectation. If many people desire an ideal world, which I believe many of us do, it says a lot about who we are. Exhausted, we may start to give up hope, but even if we start to accept the status quo, the reality is we still preferred something else. We crave something this world isn't offering.

So is this "better world" attainable? Is there a legitimate hope that exists for something different than the status quo? And if so, what do we rest our hope in?

Those are the big questions.

I'm going to offer my worldview and I would encourage you to keep reading, and join the conversation.

It was when I saw how messed up this world is, the pain we all endure, my own shortcomings in being a "good" person, and the trouble and hardships I've caused others, that I first realized the gap between what I longed for in the world and reality.

I believe that this gap can only be crossed with the help of Jesus Christ, who came and lived a perfect life, and sacrificed himself through death on a cross. God loved us enough to come down as a man, weak, tempted, beaten, mocked, and killed. He suffered like us. He shared in the hardships just so we could know him and know that He loved us and was willing to die for us. He died as an atonement for the mess that exists in our lives that has caused the turmoil and miseries of this world.

Even since Jesus' death and resurrection, his commandments to love one another and make disciples, has pushed the church into the next chapter of His story-line: to work on restoring this world to how it's supposed to be. A perfect community with God and one another, and without pain, hardship, suffering, or death. And he promised he would come again to restore this world completely, ridding it of all of its shortcomings.

A peaceful world is what we long for. On our own, we haven't been able to fix it, but God has entered our story, shared in our suffering, and has offered hope for a better world and a better life for those who follow. He has been, is, and will continue to be working to fix this world. It's a story that fits what can be observed about this world. It's a story that offers hope in the midst of sadness and despair. It's a story that if true, changes everything.

These struggles we go through are real. The pain is real. But there's hope given that says it's only temporary and that it will be dwarfed by the happiness and fulfillment of what's to come. I long for the day, when I experience something different. Much, much, much different.

4 Common Misconceptions About Eternal Life

2013-07-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Despite growing up going to church, I never really understood eternal life. I was fine with the idea of being surprised at life's end as to whether or not heaven exists. I mean I've been a "pretty good" person so I'll live life and then confront whatever may be next when it's in front of me. But for those who enjoy asking tough questions and looking for answers, or what constitutes to some people as intellectuals, society's common depiction of heaven can be troubling.

But this depiction that is commonly pondered on is based off of incorrect conceptions about what eternal life really is, and I think these same misconceptions prevent so many from understanding Christianity and what it's purpose is. I want to discuss 4 of the misconceptions I personally had that, when found to be incorrect, changed my view on the faith entirely. I love thinking through deep stuff like this and I hope you enjoy and take something from some of my thoughts from the past couple months.

1. Eternal Life is Simply Living Forever.

I'm a drummer and my family would tell you that I never stop drumming on something at all times. The steering wheel during drives to and from work, the kitchen table during dinner, railings go up and down the stairs... You get the picture. But the idea of doing something, heck even drumming, forever seems well... pretty boring.

In the same way, I had always found the idea of heaven to be well.... boring. Heaven was a bunch of people, clothed in white, in the clouds, behind those pearly gates, playing harps and singing hymns together forever and ever. On and on... and on........ and you get the picture...

This life looked so much more fun than heaven did, and therefore heaven deserved to take the backseat in priorities to my own life here. Living forever might be fun for a few months, I guess years if you keep meeting new people, but after a while... yawn...

But this belief that it's simply living forever, strips "eternal life" of it's greatest characteristic. In the Gospel John, Jesus states,

"... I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
- John 10:10 -

He doesn't state that he has come so they may live forever. He states that they may have life, and have it to the full.

When we say eternal life, so much pivots around both of these words: Eternal and Life.

Life is something that is quantifiable. One can have a lot of life, while another can have very little, seemingly dead. Often we look at it as unchangeable and that we're each given one and it's a life regardless of how it's lived. I would argue that we can have an abundance or scarcity of life.

Think about it. Two drivers on the road are both cut off by an aggressive driver. One of them reacts by flipping off the guy who cut him off and lets this detract from the rest of his day and makes him miserable with other people. The second driver, who realizes the insignificance of what has been done to him, realizing he's okay and didn't crash, and doesn't let it affect his life and relationships with others. This is definitely an extremely simplified situation but hopefully it helps illustrate the point.

And Eternal. While we often associate this with unlimited time, it actually is meant to quantify the amount of life that is offered to us. Think of never ending life being represented by an infinitely long string along a timeline. What real eternal life is that same string of infinite length, but also with an infinite thickness. It's about experiencing an infinite quality and quantity of life forever.

I think we can all say this world is difficult and trying. Multiple shootings, natural disasters, and heart-wrenching stories have occupied our news, especially this past year it seems. Living forever doesn't really fix that, but an abundance of "life", now that sounds enticing and worth looking for.

2. Eternal Life Starts at Death

The light. The moment when we pass from this world and continue on to whatever comes next. A man stands there (I guess this is God) and he determines whether or not you get eternal life and go to heaven, or go to hell. This is the common perception of when eternal life begins.

Growing up, I saw a huge disconnect between this life and this supposed eternal life. It seemed like it was simply a hope for people that needed lemonade in a world that was handing them a ton of lemons. This life seemed "fine" in many respects, and it was difficult to buy into the belief that we would live an entire life here, have it end, and then start another like this one never happened. And when things seem disconnected, one has a legitimate reason to question them. But I think it's the fault of our culture's oversimplification of eternal life that has led to this disconnect.

C.S. Lewis' book The Great Divorce I believe paints a better picture of when eternal life starts, or better yet, when the progression for it starts. He throughout his book emphasizes that right now, in this life, on a daily basis we can either gain life or lose it. Jesus said that he came so that may have life and have it to the full, which means that it wasn't here before. Power, riches, beauty, sex, relationships, and titles have all been pursued by man as a way of achieving fulfillment, and yet time and time again we have seen how they have failed to fill the void in the individual that longs for purpose and significance and often left them a more deteriorated and lost individual. Christ showed us how to live a full life and then provided the forgiveness, mercy, and sacrifice to enable us to have it.

So in a world that tries to continuously feed us lies about what will make us happy and give us a worthwhile life, I would argue there is only one way to a fullness of life. It starts here and now, not after death.

3. Eternal Life Can Be Earned.

God opens the books and weighs the scales to see how much good and how much bad we've done. It's simple and it's fair. Like karma, if you do good things, good things happen to you like receiving eternal life. If you do bad things bad things happen to you, you're going to hell. It's balanced and just.

But when you realize you're not as good as you thought before, you start to give more thought to what the whole point of this life is. Could I even earn eternal life if I tried? And what does eternal life look like?

How could an imperfect person be in the presence of a perfect God? If I've made but one mistake, how could I possibly be fit for heaven?

"For the wages of sin is death; but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
- Romans 6:23 -

God doesn't want to judge and keep people out of heaven. He wants to be with us and doesn't want us to experience death.

The ultimate way to demonstrate ones love for someone, would be to give up one's life for that person to save them, right? A close family member or a significant other is about to walk in front of a speeding vehicle and you dive in and push them out of the way taking the punishment.

Simply put. That's what Jesus did when he died on the cross. Sin earns death, and death is the absence of life. This world will wear us down if you don't have anything that's able to fill you up and give you life. He took the sins that deserve death from those who believe in who he claimed to be, and gives the eternal life he had to those same individuals. It was a demonstration of love. It was God showing just how much he loved mankind and how much he wanted us to be with him. We don't earn eternal life, it's a gift from God, sitting in front of us waiting to be opened.

4. Heaven's Boring

A cartoon version of heaven may work for children but as an adult, I refuse to believe such a childish idea. As I hit my teenage years, I really had a hard time accepting heaven when it was often portrayed like fantasy. As much as I wanted to believe it because my church, and family believed it, I couldn't myself. It wasn't until I realized how unlike those typical depictions heaven really was, that I actually committed to believing in it. I'd like to briefly describe as best as I can what I think heaven will really look like. This are small glimpses into what I believe is impossible for us to completely explain or grasp.

Community. First off heaven is a community that is built on 100% pure relationships. Look at the elements of two or three of your best relationships in life. Think about some of the intimacy, trust, and love that is experienced in these. Now imagine that this exists between everyone, where there is no fighting between individuals, there is no sadness or hurt feelings, and everyone can find pure joy in everyone else.

Freedom. It's a life away from so many of the things that restrict life like listed before. The pursuit of money, power, glory, and pleasure are all intrinsically valueless, and heaven provides fulfillment and frees the individual to satisfy the hunger and thirst for pure life that they long for.

Transformation. It's not just about living forever. It's much more about becoming more of who we were intended to be. Imagine a life without guilt, without disappointment in yourself because God has helped you reach the pinnacle where you no longer hurt others.

We often look externally, to possessions and experiences, for excitement and fail to see all the opportunity within the individual and especially within relationships to experience excitement. I think heaven presents a beautiful environment for us to experience those jaw dropping experiences but most importantly within perfect relationships and as the people we were intended to be, pure and without sin. Thanks for reading!

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8 -

Changing for Better or for Worse?

2013-05-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well these past four years sure did go by fast, and upon reflection it's amazing how much I believe I've changed since my freshman year. I can remember auditioning for the Blue Band and then thinking that so much of my self-worth was riding on that result. I remember planning to pursue engineering because I enjoyed the subject, but also because I wanted to live comfortably and this occupation would give me the money to do so. I remember thinking that wearing your dorm key on a lanyard was cool. I couldn't have been more wrong on all three (especially that last one).

We are constantly changing. Day-to-day we may seem the same person, but really reflect over the past few years or even months and I'm sure there's something that has changed in your personality, your temperance, your desires, or your dreams. To believe that we are unchanging, that we can't grow and develop or diminish and decay, can be dangerous. The truth is, we are taking one of those two paths in almost every situation. So are you changing for better or for worse?

First, what are you working towards? What is culminating goal that you have set for yourself? Your final destination dictates the trajectory that you will try to take and therefore should be given much thought. The thing to watch for though is that in pursuit of this goal, does it cause you as a person to grow or deteriorate? Pursuit of happiness, a common goal for people, could lead to the compro In the grand scheme of life though, lanyards are of much less importance than things like relationships and our contributions to our community. The goal you have makes you more aware of the progress or the retrogression you make over time.

Second, what setting are you putting yourself in? A plant placed in fertile soil with plenty of nutrients will often thrive more successfully than when it's planted in a bunch of rocks. Are you surrounding yourself with groups that instill good values and support for you? I wrote a post before called "The Rule of Five" which talks about this exact topic. The people we surround ourselves with will have a big impact on who we change into.

Lastly, what attitude do you have regarding change? In Luke 18, Jesus tells a parable about the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. They both go into the temple to pray. The Pharisee was prideful and lists off all of the great things he does and then lists the ways that he is better than the Tax Collector. But the Tax Collector simply humbles himself and asks for mercy. Humility leads to positive change because it allows us to recognize our shortcomings instead of keeping them in the dark. We can always find worse actions of others to compare ourselves to. If we use these actions to justify our actions ourselves entirely we're in trouble.

This world is changing, and watching the news lately I have been deeply saddened by just how much more pain, violence, deceit, and discouragement there has been lately. We all contribute to how this world changes, for better or for worse and we probably contribute more bad than often we would like to admit. So let's do our best with what we have because we could always use more people consciously trying to change for the better.

Unanswered Questions

2013-04-13T18:54:00.002-07:00

People act weird sometimes... I mean, isn't it strange some of the habits we have? All of the tendencies and social norms that we adopt as we age. They are natural reactions that are cued by scenarios that we are presented everyday and they are almost all dictated by what society as a whole has deemed "correct" or "wrong."

Andrew Hales has a whole YouTube channel dedicated to forcing these awkward situations. Here's a great video of him putting people in one of his socially awkward situations.

As much as I love the awkwardness of seeing how people react to Andrew trying to hold their hand in this video, I think we can easily observe these strange tendencies in an "unfabricated" setting. The typical classroom situation where the teacher asks, "Does anyone have any questions?" is my favorite. The teacher opens the discussion to anyone in the class to speak up, and students with questions look around unable to get themselves to just raise their hand. Students turn their heads side-to-side, avoiding eye contact with the teacher, and hoping someone will ask their same question so they can get the answer without all the attention of the class. Embarrassed about not knowing everything, we are afraid of just the thought of asking a question.

Two years ago, two big life questions were constantly on my mind.

1. What is my purpose in this life?

And,

2. Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I can't be as good of a person as I feel I should be?

Up to this point, I had refused to address deep questions like this, unable to quote-on-quote "raise my hand" in life, and I enjoyed the simple life where I acted like I knew all the answers afraid to come across as not knowing. But then I realized, if I don't ask I'll never know. Something has to be true. There must be an answer, whether I ask the question or not, and I want to know it.

But who do you ask to answer these questions? And if many people claim no one can know the answers to these questions, why ask at all? Sticking with the classroom scenario, if in the classroom the answer to a question could determine whether or not you pass or fail the course would you ask it?

I ran into students at Penn State who lived with a purpose, and seemed to be living a good life and wanting to know what made them different I spent time with them and learned from them. I asked questions. The answer to those two questions came from people I barely knew explaining the story of Christ to me.

This is still the only answer that appropriately answers all of my questions about humanity, this world, our past, our purpose, and what our future will look like. For the first time ever I was in a classroom where I wanted to ask the teacher every question I had and could come up with. And every step of the way that teacher has followed through on answering those questions, because I asked Him.

We all have questions, and there are answers to those questions whether we ask for them or not. And by no means have I had all of mine answered. But in times of doubt He has "conveniently" had me read the stories of Gideon, David, and Thomas, who doubted the existence or plans of God also. Yet God/Jesus was patient with them and helped them step-by-step in overcoming these questions and doubts. He's not expecting us to understand everything right away. He wants us to ask questions about Him and His purpose for this world and watch as our questions get answered.

I still don't have all the answers, but I had found where I could get them from and I have never felt more fulfilled than in these moments when I learn from Him. Every day that I spend time reading His Word more truths become visible and present. I believe we all have those moments where truths about this world "resonate."

Andrew and some of the individuals in that video embraced the awkwardness and some didn't. I find the ones who play along or have fun remarks afterwards are more enjoyable to watch than those who are annoyed. Are you willing to embrace going against the social norm of staying quiet?

Are you willing to ask questions? Are you willing to ask the tough questions? To come across as the person who maybe doesn't know everything? Because that may be the most freeing decision you ever make in your life. It was for me.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

- Matthew 7:7-8 -

Relatability

2013-02-27T19:13:00.006-08:00

It's been about nine months since I started this blog, and I have yet to write about my initial vision for these posts. What is "The Modern Shepherd?" I mean, I titled my whole blog after this, and to this date I have yet to really touch on its meaning. Modern.... meaning contemporary, or current. And shepherd... a job that symbolizes leadership and is about as "un-modern" of an occupation as it gets. I wanted to create a blog that presented ideas about what attributes would make the ideal leader but for a year I've been silent on this probably because I was trying to figure out for myself what a leader does, or is.

Maybe it's not really a particular skill-set that one can acquire that makes a leader. It's a mind-set and a particular heart that will make someone successful. I believe that we are all called to be leaders in particular situations and in particular times. The questions we should be asking are "When and where will this opportunity present itself?" and "Will I be ready?"

These past two presidential elections, the term "relatable" has been thrown around more than I can recall in previous elections. Of course, I was much younger and less invested in them, but in a time of economic-turmoil and great struggles, the magnitude of the candidates' relatability has taken precedence. How can an individual who never experienced scarcity and the day-to-day struggles of so many Americans properly lead this country filled with people living in those exact conditions? Or from the "glass is half-full" perspective, wouldn't a leader who has been through these same struggles understand us and what we need more?

I am not trying to state that one party is greater than another, or one individual is greater than the other. On a side note, I would say that government is much more complex than appealing to the needs of one group and therefore relatability is not the sole reason for choosing a particular party or individual. But, rather this illustrates how we all look to a leader who understands us. We all want to be led by someone who shares in our pain, joy, struggles, and victories. We all believe in this ideal leader who completely understands us. We all believe in the Modern Shepherd.

It's about being the leader you want others to be. Makes sense and it seems simple enough. Yet oftentimes, I find myself falling short here. Share in the happiness and struggles of the lives of your peers. Like a shepherd, be in the same field as your sheep. In each individual case this will look differently because the leadership itself looks different. Some environments are more formal than others. Some groups are larger than others and thus present you with more people to lead and invest in. Sometimes leadership is an informal relationship like being the friend or stronghold when a loved one is lost or life gets difficult. But no matter the scenario, there is a way to be relatable, engaging, in touch, and invested in others.

By no means am I good at being relatable. In the repetitive grind of school and extracurricular activities it is difficult to find the time to invest in others and just spend time with them. But I wonder what the world would look like if we all invested in others like this. What if we all were Modern Shepherds constantly looking out for those we lead?

As a wrap-up, four men experienced over 4 weeks what the lives of millions of Haitians had been for months at this point, in an attempt to understand how they can best help them. I think this captures relatability in its purest sense and sheds light on what leadership like this can do for others as well as ourselves.

The Danger of Relativity

2013-01-29T09:24:00.002-08:00

I thought taking philosophy during my last semester was going to be a fun and "eye-opening" class that would be great to end college with. But early in the semester I am realizing that it wasn't exactly what I expected.

Fun at times, but often frustrating, this class has opened my eyes. Everything is relative in this class. Everyone's beliefs belong to them, and there is neither truth nor falsehood. These class discussions were going nowhere because the barrier of relative truth stands in the way.

Like everyone it seems these days, at first it seemed there was no better forum to spew out my annoyance and opinions than Facebook and I posted this:

"Philosophy - the art of asking questions without ever having the intention of answering them, and rejecting all notions of truth to avoid the feeling of needing to change ourselves or our society"

I removed it quickly because I realized that it wasn't completely true, and that it shouldn't be true. We can look at philosophy and find the answers to our questions. Sometimes the truth doesn't feel so good, and that's where this class has been stopping. What's the point of searching for an answer if we shy away from anything that might say we were initially wrong?

We were discussing Ralph Waldo Emerson's work entitled "Circles."

His argument is that because nature is constantly evolving and because our actions seek to "outdo" previous actions that there can be no universal truth, because the truth of reality is consistently changing. That for every circle drawn, every horizon we see, we are able to draw another circle outside of it or go beyond that horizon. We are essentially limitless.

His discussion of growth and development is clearly a part of life, and it is engrained into every aspect of the world. We live in a world that has a story to it. It is progressing. It has a plot line. So I agree with his idea of pursuing excellence and development but there are two problems I find in his conclusion.

1. Just because the world is changing does not mean that there is no existence of an overarching truth.

2. And just because growth is not limited in certain aspects of our life, does not mean that we have no limitations.

Here's an illustration of that first point. A doctor is diagnosing a patient. Given the symptoms, the doctor is able to bring down the possible source or cause of illness down to 10 possibilities. Even though the doctor is not completely sure at first which of these 10 are in fact the true source of sickness, we cannot conclude that nothing is causing an illness. We can't state that because we don't know, that nobody knows or that there isn't a true illness causing it. Our perception and knowledge have no influence on truth.

Or take this example. One thousand years ago, if I had two rocks and a friend gave me two more rocks, I would have four rocks. The same would be true today, ten thousand years ago, and ten thousand years in the future.

And if someone were to state that I in fact had five rocks and not four, would we conclude that because we can't agree that therefore to me it is four rocks and to him it is five? Would we say the number of rocks is relative? Or would we say that it is impossible to know the truth because there are conflicting perspectives?

There are laws and facts that do in fact stay true throughout time and so to say everything is relative is to not address the point that there is some storyline that is existent in this universe. Whether or not it is a good or bad story is another discussion.

And despite the fact that everyone's carrying cell phones, driving cars, flying across the globe, and are more immersed in a technology-driven world, have we really changed over time?

Have we changed? Shootings and wars still occur. People steal and people lie just like they did centuries ago. We stab the backs of others, we look out for number one despite the small internal urge that throughout time has told us to care for others and to be above these temptations and poor moral decisions.

To answer the second point, the shortcomings of man's ability to abide its own moral code is a circle we can't break out of and that we clearly have limitations on.

Until we acknowledge our own boundaries and limitations, we will continue to accept the notion that truth is relative. And as long as we believe this statement, that essentially states that you don't have to and shouldn't align yourself with anything that may suggest that we change. And the big danger of relativity is that we may just be missing out on hearing the truth.

The Chief Good

2013-01-01T20:31:00.004-08:00

Inspired by Ethics by Aristotle.

It still hasn't hit that I'm about to start my final semester here at Penn State. And the crazy thing is that there is still an unsettled feeling about the next step. But do we ever feel completely comfortable about what life brings next? Going from middle school to high school. The transition to college. Taking on a first full-time job. Switching jobs or moving. Marrying and having kids. I haven't personally gone through all of these, but I believe I can say that at each turn in life, there are questions to be answered, doors to be opened, and big decisions to be made.

And as I look back, these past four years are culminating with this next step in life; leaving the "bubble" that is State College, to go into the "real world". All of the classwork, internships, and research has been directed toward this next step. Upon reflection, I can say that my life these past several years has primarily revolved around this pursuit of a career I desire. But how much of my life should revolve around this? What am I striving for? And should I go through life simply taking it year by year with the end goal being the desired next step?

It's officially 2013. And many take time at the beginning of each year to make resolutions or changes to themselves to make a stride toward a better future. But how deep are they typically? Usually they rarely get past the level of "I plan to remove Twinkies from diet" or "I plan to run a half marathon this year as a goal for getting in shape". My point is not to diminish the importance of these changes but to suggest there are potential changes with very great importance.

Have you ever sat back and thought about what it was you were working towards in life? What would make you life complete? What would make your life worthwhile? Is it happiness? Is it success? Money? A relationship? A nice house?

Why does the pursuit of this deserve the investment of your life?

The Chief Good; an idea proposed by Aristotle, is the focal point of all of our effort, energy, time, and resources. That our entire lives revolve around this one thing that we are striving for. The Chief Good has to be the root of our pursuit. Therefore "happiness" cannot be a Chief Good because it relies on something(s) to provide happiness. The Chief Good is not vague but very specific.

Personally, I believe my Chief Good has been security. Risk rarely could be justified in my life, and taking chances was never something I was comfortable with. I wanted a job that would produce financial stability so that I wouldn't have to worry about my level of comfort. I didn't want to have to worry or be reliant on anyone else. Simply put, I wanted a smooth-sailing life. During these past couple years, I realized just how self-centered that was and that that's not how life is meant to be lived.

And I'm making a conscious effort to try to change it. After much thought and reflection, I personally could find only one Chief Good in life that was a clear direction for me, and would provide pure completeness. I've realized that God is the center of everything and that I want to glorify Him in response to the the mercy He's demonstrated for me. And other chapters of life fit into this greater storyline. At the end of my life, "completeness" will come from investing myself in ways that aligns with God's plan for this earth and my life.

So what's your Chief Good? What resolution have you made or are you going to make in 2013 and the rest of your years beyond? In the rush of life, sometimes a step back to see where we are going is needed. I hope you find that break early this year. Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all a very fulfilling 2013.

Excommunicate the Band Geeks

2012-11-11T18:52:00.001-08:00

Visiting home for the weekend just a week ago, I got the opportunity to see a high school football game for the first time in three or four years. Ahhhh.... The glory that is Friday night lights. Hard to believe so much time has past, and well, after being at so many Penn State games, it was a little less exciting than I remembered in high school. And what had also changed, was my perception of the band. Alex, if you're reading this, don't be offended, but I did not remember being that well... "weird". I mean, all high school kids there came across as weird, but it seemed different than when I was in it.

I remembered being one of the "cool" kids in the band. My friends and I always said there were two parts of the band. There was the cool group, us, and then there was the "band geek" part that was a poor reflection on the rest of us. They were the part that the rest of the school saw, which led them to label us all as "band geeks." At times, I hoped that these individuals just wouldn't be a part of the group because then the remainder would be a perfect representation of who we actually were, the "cool band" I envisioned.

But as it turns out, that's all it was. A vision. A biased interpretation. A false reality. We were all "band geeks."

Hold that thought: "Ben realized he was a band geek."

Now, three days later, I was watching some election coverage. And let me just say, I think it's impossible to watch politics and enjoy it. Politics always leaves me ticked off, which makes me wonder why I watch it in the first place. Anyway... CNN was discussing Romney's faith as it relates to his platform on homosexuality. They had five gay and lesbian individuals on camera talking to the reporter about how their churches had either excommunicated them, or would if they found out about their sexuality. My only thought: Where is the acceptance?

Christians and non-Christians alike I'm sure have heard of this type of nonacceptance within the church. This isn't an issue solely about homosexuality. It's a greater problem that we need to be aware of. Some individuals, even on the basis of appearance (tattoos, piercings, hair color) find closed doors at their local church.

When I was in the high school band, I saw others in the group as less than myself at times and wished they weren't there. I thought, "Excommunicate the band geeks." This sounds terrible. Even I see that now. But haven't we all thought this at some point?

Maybe you've been on a sports team where you felt a certain individual held you back. A team member on a project, that you felt didn't produce as good of work as you. Or a coworker who wasn't as skilled or as smart as you. Did you feel that they should have been cut from the team, kicked out of the group, or fired? I think to some degree we have all felt this.

In our nature, we like to think highly of ourselves. Our morality. Our strengths. We may not consider ourselves the best, but we always look for someone "worse" to compare ourselves to. More so than we should. The same goes with Christians. Do we always see ourselves for who we really are? Not at all. We fail to identify with the lying, greedy, prideful, angry, and just plain broken and messed up people that we are. And the church needs to identify with it's real identity as well. It's not a museum for the perfect. It's a hospital for the sick and weary.

The thing is that in the band, we were all "band geeks". And you know what? I'm fine with that. Same goes with Christians. We are all messed up people. And some individuals you meet will acknowledge this and some won't. Some churches know identify with the reality, and some don't. You'll never find perfection though, because well, how can you build a perfect group from imperfect people?

I want my friends and family to feel comfortable coming to church. I want them to know what Christianity is all about. It's not about putting up a facade of righteousness and perfection by keeping out those we consider less. It's about keeping the door open, extending a hand, and letting them know Christ who was perfect and is still willing to live with and die for, us, even while we actually do fall far short of Him.

The Cardboard Box

2012-09-18T08:17:00.001-07:00

What if you lived in a cardboard box from day one of your life with a few other people who have also lived there since birth? All you can recall is the plain brown inside of this cubicle you call your home. You can't hear anything outside of it and you don't know how you got there in the first place. You can't leave it, and because you don't know of what is outside of it, you have no desire to leave.

Seems like a bizarre scenario right? I mean, for us to go spend time in a box ourselves right now would not help us understand this scenario because we already know what is outside of it. But humor me, and give this some thought as we switch gears...

We pride ourselves on knowledge. Our society's hierarchy is very, very, closely related to your amount of education, how much knowledge you possess. These individuals deemed "intelligent" or "bright" or "a genius" run many of our corporations, universities, organizations, heck... even the government as a whole.

Wait just a second. Is he saying that these smart and knowledgeable individuals shouldn't be in these positions? I'm not saying that at all. All I am saying is that we as a society put those who are intelligent on pedestals at times, and when a particular trait is highly regarded like this, it can lead, not always, but oftentimes to pride and arrogance. I can attest to this myself, putting a lot of my identity in my academic success here at Penn State.

We compare ourselves to our classmates, our coworkers, our family on the basis of how much we know about particular subjects. We get into heated debates with the sole purpose of being considered "right" at the end of it. And our perceived wealth of knowledge can keep us from seeing more, and understanding more. What if our own intelligence is a hinderance?

Don't be scared off by the graph. I just think this helps to visualize this idea.

Let's assume that our growth of knowledge is linear over our lifetime. We continuously take in information and gain a greater appreciation of what is around us. We will learn a lot in our lifetime; everything from the alphabet, to how to use computers, to how to work with people, to how to love. But let's also consider what the exponential line represents.

It represents our knowledge of what we don't know. That as we go through life, the complexities increase from will I be fed or get that toy for Christmas as a kid, to why is there so much pain and suffering in the world, and why when I try to be a good individual, do I still fail. I came to Penn State thinking by senior year I would be ready to understand the world. Here I am now, and I realize that I'm just starting to learn so much about this life, and that for every thing I learn there are infinitely more things I realize that I still don't know.

So let's switch the gears back. How does this cardboard box come into play?

If I were to study the inside of the cardboard box for my entire life would I learn anything about the outside of the box? Could I run experiments, tests, or conjure up a hypothesis that would explain the reason for me being in the box, or existence at all? I would argue that the only two things that could be concluded is that one, I exist. And two, something created the box, or the box came from somewhere.

In this world, our own perception and knowledge can only go so far, despite the fact that we want to be able to explain everything. We need to humble ourselves to realize we really don't know as much as we think we do, and as resistant as we may be to admitting that ourselves, it remains true.

From a practical standpoint, realizing how little we know will free us to learn more, not be shy to ask questions, and allow us to avoid plateauing in our lifetime journey of education. But I think there's something much greater many of us may be missing out on.

Consider this last addition to the scenario. What if a note was given to you claiming to be from the outside that explained the existence of the box and you? What if this note explained a greater meaning for life than just a plain existence inside a cardboard box? Would you read what it had to say, or listen to the others inside the box who say, the cardboard box is simply a box and nothing more?

I didn't believe in Christianity because there were individuals who had made claims that it's not scientifically possible. How could Jesus raise from the dead? No one has ever defeated death. And how could so much evil be in the world if God is supposed to be so good? Wouldn't the world be perfect if He existed? I studied the inside brown wall of my life and I couldn't see how the stories I heard about this note made sense with what I saw.

But I had not actually read the story. I did not know what the note said and therefore did not know the reason for my life or the box. The issue is that if we try to make God fit our own expectations, and don't read His story, then we will always come to that conclusion that he can't exist. Our perception is not everything. The truth is not relative, and it may go against what we like to believe.

If we take a step back, and consider, "maybe I really don't know everything," and take some time to see what the story of the Bible is saying, we'll find answers to other questions that human intelligence can't provide. Who knows? Maybe it will give you a better appreciation for the cardboard box, and what's outside of it.

Lies, Lies, Lies...

2012-08-13T16:53:00.002-07:00

"You're not smart enough." "You need to cheat to get a good enough score."
"You're ugly." "You are going no where in life."
"You aren't skinny enough." "Nobody likes you." "No one would miss you if you left."
"You have to drink to fit in" "You will never be successful."
"You will never be able to lead this group." "You can't do it."
"Your relationship status indicates your worth" "You'll never get that job."
"Life does not get better." "That person deserves to be put in their place."
"You are worthless."

It's amazing how many lies exist in our lives. They originate from all directions: the TV and movies we watch, the books and magazines we read, and generally it all stems from the lives we live. Constantly acting as an impedance to our walk in life, these little fibs can cut deep, heighten pain, and cause us to act in some cases, and in others, leave us mentally depleted.

And yes, all of those lies listed above do not apply to everyone, but I am guessing that at some point or another, at least one rings true for everyone's life. And it's very likely that one is causing all of us grief and pain right now.

It can be so difficult for us to see them for what they are when we are actually hearing them. They intertwine themselves within our own thought processes like they are one of our own. We consider them, without recognizing their origin or even how false they actually are. And they remain only lies until we submit to them, believing them and acting on them. That's when they become dangerous.

They can lead to jealousy, depression, anxiety, anger, entitlement, slothfulness, and even pride and greed. Yes, the above listed lies are all negative, but lies can also be too positive and self-centered to the point of being dangerous. Dangerous to the point of pushing loved ones away, and distancing ourselves from a humble and fulfilled life.

As we think back to our greatest struggles and toughest times in life, aren't lies often the root of our greatest hindrance to moving forward in life? So how do we make progress when facing these tempting falsehoods?

First, we need to remember that it was through a lie that sin and suffering entered this world.

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’? ”The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."
- Genesis 3:1-6 -

The temptation of Eve by the serpent in the Garden of Eden was the push that got Eve to disbelieve God's commands. She knew what was true, what God desired of her and commanded. But in weakness in conjunction with an insisting lie, she decided to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, disobeying God and causing the fall of man. Lies are precursors to sin.

And second, we must know that hearing lies is not a sin in itself. Lies can lead to sin, but it does not always end this way. There is no question that we are all confronted with this deceit in life but the question does remain "How do we respond to them?"

Even Jesus was tempted. Living a perfect life, He was tempted by Satan to turn stones into bread to end His hunger during the forty-day fast. Satan also tries to tempt Him by offering dominion over all the kingdoms of the world (Matt. 4: 1-11). But Jesus doesn't give in to, I would argue, the biggest temptation in the history of man. He was offered the world and given an option to not die a gruesome death for our sins and yet He is unwavering. He commands, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" And Satan left Him.

So how do we respond when we hear voices saying that we're not thin enough or strong enough, or that we're not capable of succeeding or persevering, or that we're not loved? We have to realize that if we believe these twisted mistruths they become reality, can hurt us and those around us, and can lead to further actions that can cause even more pain. They become cyclical, worsening and worsening the more we buy into them. We need to recognize them for what they are and bring them to God in full reliance on Him.

Many unknowns exist as I prepare for the next big step in life. And I constantly hear lies about how the next chapter won't be successful or that my life is not going to fall into place. At times, I believe them, and I worry, which separates me from a faithful walk with God.

But I've realized these big steps are occurring all the time and aren't constrained to my senior year of college. Every day we are face-to-face with decisions, and ones that are influenced by the thoughts we have, both truthful and deceitful. We make decisions about friendships, leadership roles in work, clubs, or organizations, career decisions, what we decide to eat, drink, and wear, and how we perceive ourselves.

The fight is inevitable, so how do we combat this deception? Do we give in to those hidden lies that prod us into taking the paths we are trying to avoid, or do we recognize them for what they are, bringing them into the light, becoming stronger and victorious? It's a choice.

Chick-fil-A: Shedding Light on a Divided People

2012-08-02T17:25:00.002-07:00

Who knew the statements of the president of a chicken sandwich serving restaurant could cause such a divide in our country? We've seen recently the horrific actions of one man shatter our community, but know the speech of one man is causing an uproar across the country? Lately we've seen how the American society is like a weathered bridge. It's fine when a few cars go over it, but the second a moving truck or semi comes along, the cracks become evident. We have some serious flaws we need to work on.

One, we need to be informed on what's actually said and how it's said.

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.We operate as a family business ... our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that.We intend to stay the course. We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles."
-Dan Cathy, COO of Chick-fil-A-

This does not sound very hateful. He expressed his opinion in a respectful manner and held to his beliefs. I hadn't heard his initial comments until I took the time to dig for them. We are fed snippets, soundbites, and short paraphrases of what's actually said or done. We need to filter what we hear and see.

Two, there's a huge difference between hating someone (discriminating) and disliking what they do. Dan Cathy was holding to what he believed in, the validity of the bible. And it says,
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

That being said, our two greatest commandments come from Matthew 22 when Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself."

So there's a conflict there. We're told it's wrong but we are told to love everyone.

I had the privilege to meet a manager for a local Chick-fil-A and he donated a large sum of food to an LGBTA event this past year, because he cared for the group and wanted to reach out to them. Another story I heard recently was that of coworker's friend. She is a lesbian, and went to Chick-fil-A yesterday with an "I'm Gay" t-shirt on. And she was delighted when they served her with a smile on their face. She didn't agree with him, but she respected the way Dan voiced his opinion and the strength he exhibited.

You can love people, and not agree with what they do. We all make mistakes and sin. I don't agree with underage drinking but I care for all my friends who do. The reason this is such a tough issue is that homosexuality is so visible. It's easy to spot two men or women holding hands in public, whereas, stealing, lying, and adultery are kept more in the shadows.

Regardless of the degree of visibility, it is possible to combine the two, and sadly we're not hearing that in the discussion of this issue and it's preventing healthy discourse.

Lastly, leaders in the roles of upholding and enforcing laws have to have backbones and honor our freedoms. Mayors stating they won't allow Chick-fil-A to build in their cities are allowing the opinions of one group while punishing another group for their opinions. Lately, many leaders (cough cough Penn State administrators, NCAA president, and politicians) are trying to be so politically correct and concerned with the opinions of particular groups, that we restrict the freedoms of others. To say that no one will get hurt in a "free" society is not being realistic.

"The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission."
-JFK-

All that to say, I'm glad Dan Cathy voiced his opinion. It has brought to light the issues that already existed prior to his statements. Many are scared these days to voice their opinion, even if they have good reason for believing in it. We need to remember how we interpret what we see and hear, remember that this country is founded on freedom, and that we can disagree with a person's actions and still love the person.

I hope we can push forward and in ways, revert back to the roots of this nation. We heading down a slippery slope right now if we can't have healthy debates and respect the freedoms of others. And, running out to support or protest Chick-fil-A is not going to change this (although I am feeling a chicken sandwich and waffle fries right now). It's not about the definition of lines between us. It's realizing, like in those stories above, that we can reach across them, see eye-to-eye, and still care for each other despite our differing beliefs.

Lunch and Learn

2012-07-29T15:55:00.002-07:00

This summer, I have had the privilege to work with some absolutely amazing coworkers. And just like any job we have, the end goal is to look back and have something to take with you going forward. There are many things I can take from this summer; and many of them aren't environmental engineering-related at all. And that's the beauty of these past few months. I will be applying so much of the lessons I've learned in any path I may choose to take going forward. And here's one that I have to pass along to you, my friends and family.

About a month ago, my supervisor held a "Lunch and Learn" session for the engineering, environmental, and health and safety team. In the middle of a busy time for him and the group, he ordered us pizza and paid us our hourly pay for the time we spent with him in the company's conference room. The whole reason for this special meeting, was to take time to watch a video and reflect on how we were living our lives outside of work.

In my four summers of working, I've been privileged to have great bosses. I look back at all of them and see many great traits that I admire and want to embody myself. But this decision to invest in the lives of your coworkers as a leader is the most memorable from this summer (so far). Everyone in my department was really touched by his act of taking time to invest in their lives. People are always more important than any piece of equipment, meeting a quota, or any amount of profit. Yes, these must be pursued in business, but he realized that what is most important is taking a little time to step back and refocus on what life's all about.

He decided to share this video with us and I encourage you to watch it. It's Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" at Carnegie Mellon. He has terminal cancer and shares many of his life lessons in his last opportunity to speak wisdom into those closest and most important to him. This story had really impacted my boss and sharing this with us, was his way of showing us that he cared.

So please take some time to watch this. You won't regret it. And think to yourself, "Is there a way I can show my care and concern for those I lead?" I can attest to it personally, that it fosters the relationship and could be exactly what they need from you.

And if you enjoy this, I highly suggest reading the book "The Last Lecture." It has several additional stories and lessons that we're not included in his recorded lecture.

No Clean Cut

2012-07-15T11:24:00.004-07:00

The results of Freeh's investigation on the "Penn State Scandal" have troubled me to the point where I have a hard time figuring out what to feel or think. And it's not just the findings listed in the report, but the way everyone is reacting to the news. I really think most people are conflicted inside like me, between outrage, skepticism, loyalty, disgust, and handfuls of other emotions. Over the past several months, consistent with how I try to approach many situations, I try to give others the benefit of the doubt. But being optimistic, only prolongs the pain when the worst of the worst is in fact the reality.

It sickens me that men, trusted to make the best decisions, failed those kids and failed miserably. The leaders of a football program and school that preached the importance and need of integrity and the moral pursuit of success in athletics and academics, didn't practice their own lessons. And now, we are faced with how to react as we go forward.

In less than two months, assuming nothing unexpected occurs, I'll be marching into Beaver Stadium, the iconic reunion place for much of the Penn State family, only this time, it's going to feel different. It's not going to have the perfect, innocent, and joyful feeling it's had these past three years. It's a new beginning, a sad beginning. And it will never be the same. Having these acts brought to the light illuminates a number of issues beyond the abuse that occured; issues that can't be fixed by any coach, president, court, or law enforcement.

It only takes one man's actions and transgressions to bring out the worst in humanity. Within the past year we have seen it here in State College. There aren't words to describe how sick Sandusky's actions and crimes are. But think about our reaction to these terrible deeds...

Four days after the initial release of Sandusky's charges, Joe Paterno's is firing led to an unnecessary and ill-advised riot in downtown State College. Students flipped a news van, shouted chants like "F&%# the media!" and start fires on the lawn of Old Main all in protest of a decision we as students had little to no knowledge of the reasons for. Why was destruction needed? Why did students cuss out media members who were simply doing their job and played no role in the firing decision or sexual abuse in the first place? It's because we as students also failed in upholding the standards. We did not possess the integrity we prided ourselves in as Penn Staters.

Millions across the country, then jumped to conclusions on individuals' involvements, motivations, and innocence or lack there of. It became a witch-hunt, people throwing others under the bus. This was all in an attempt to either make themselves look better in comparison to those who were accused of making bad decisions or just for the sake of jumping on the bandwagon. Our whole campus was guilty by association because of the transgressions of a few who shared ties to the same institution. We as a society run for our pitchforks and torches at the sound of an accusation.

No one was thinking for themselves, and out of the "care for these victims" that so many pointed to to justify their reactions, they condemned others and acted heinously as well. Reading the comments on ESPN.com articles (a terrible idea I might add), I would constantly find messages with a combination of hope and prayers for those victimized and distasteful jokes about or threats to those involved. How does this make any sense? How can those two things come from the same heart and mind?

These drastically mixed feelings led so many to judging the eternal destination of these individuals. A visible example of this came from ndulge, a dessert shop downtown. They posted these signs earlier this year and many students celebrated their move to present these in their windows.

We are in no place to judge the eternal destination of others. It resides completely in the personal relationship with God, and although actions can point to the health of this relationship, ultimately He is the final judge. In a decision that isn't based on a ratio of good vs. bad within us, but our faith in Christ, who are we to make such bold statements.

And what about the large number claiming they would have done something different? If they were in fact correct in their statements, wouldn't we be living around an overwhelming number of moral and ethical people? I look at myself, and realize I'm not perfect. I look around in this college environment and I see so much that is just plain wrong with it. I'm starting to feel like these deficiencies in humanity are more prevalent than we think, and we overstate our goodness and understate our failings and badness.

I want to think if I were to ask any of these men, they would say with hindsight that they would have done things differently. So everyone has 20/20 hindsight. Who are we to say that in someone else's shoes we would have done something different? We can only make sure to do our best in the future when presented with a tough challenge like this.

The truth is this world is broken. People do terrible things, and in reaction to these terrible things people do even more terrible things. I've wanted this whole case to wrap up, get closure, be learned from, and go in the past. But sadly, it won't.

There will be questions unanswered, facts that will remain in the dark, and despite this coming to the light, child sexual abuse along with many other horrendous acts will continue. Crimes will go unpunished, innocent individuals will have the quality of their lives compromised and diminished, and fingers will continue to be pointed in the aftermath, both at those justly and falsely accused.

So, sorry that you had to deal with my rambling. I just wanted to share some of my observations. I've definitely played a role in some if not all of these issues in some way or another. And despite my thoughts and feelings, I still don't know what to think of all of this. I'm constantly conflicted with my lack of knowledge on everyone's motivations, thoughts, and hearts. I simply don't know all the facts, and I am disturbed by everything that has to our best knowledge occurred.

I try to hold on to this little verse through all of this.

"Let the man without sin cast the first stone." - John 8:7 -

We need to think before we act in the wake of another's mistake. Otherwise the cut never heals, it only gets deeper, and the bleeding gets worse.

MISSION: Speed Limit

2012-07-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

Driving from State College to Roaring Spring everyday and then driving home several weekends, I have been logging thousands and thousands of miles and hours upon hours upon hours of time on the road. With all that time, you're bound to analyze, and maybe over-analyze certain things. It even brings back weird memories, like the time I saw a 9 1/2 mph speed limit sign.

And this random thought got me thinking... And after lots of thought, I came to the conclusion that our speed limit system is a little bizarre, for lack of a better word.

I find it hysterical that very few people actually follow this law of the road. We, in general, drive 5, 10, or sometimes more mph over the limit, keeping our eyes open for cops who hide alongside the road, attempting to catch those surpassing the allowed speed.

I would always find myself surprised when watching a pursuit on TV, how we would send 4 or 5 cops in pursuit of one speeding car. So instead of 1 dangerous driver on the road, we would have 5 or 6 speeding drivers on the road? This doesn't make sense.

Safety is the primary reason for instituting the speed limit. They are intended to give suggestions for roads, to inform riders of the safe speeds which they can travel. They also should be enforced as a way of keeping the safety of others on the roads at the forefront. But from the looks of it, I would say we've lost sight of the motivation of the law. We've forgotten, drivers and enforcers alike, that the motivation for creating the speed limit was to prevent crashes, and ultimately fatalities.

I'm no exemption from this. I've found myself driving faster and faster this summer, as I've grown frustrated with the amount of time I spend on the road.

And no, I'm not actually going to talk about how we shouldn't speed. I think it's an important subject, but I'd much rather look at the greater issue. We have a moral code that's inscribed within us that we are to live by to be safe and not harm others. A code that tells us, consciously or subconsciously, what's wrong and what's right.

And this moral code consists of things like:

-Don't Lie
-Help Others in Danger
-Don't Steal
-Save a Life if You Can
-Don't Envy
-And many, many more...

So I equated speed limits to moral codes. And, I set a goal for myself. A mission to drive from home to State College, a 3 hour trip, at the speed limit.

And, I almost succeeded, failing on a few occasions. At the times I found myself speeding, I evaluated the root of it and here's what I've found after a ride that took only 20 extra minutes and probably ticked off a couple drivers...

1) It's harder to follow the speed limit on a two-lane highway, because you feel the added pressure of others opinions behind me. Watching a 20-car line in my rear-view mirror on 322 going into State College definitely made me want to speed, but unfortunately for those drivers, I held to the limit.

2) When you've established a habit of speeding, if you're not consciously trying to change it, it will just happen. One minute I was driving 65. The next, I was passing cars who were going the speed limit, because I had forgotten my desire to break the habit.

3) Limits can seem, well... limiting. They can come across as a "fun-reducer" or an unnecessary hassle. We feel the urge to break them because we feel like we would be missing out on valuable time if we abide them.

4) We try to justify ourselves. "Well everyone else is doing it." Or, "I'm still a safe driver." Or, "I'm in a hurry." We hear these lies that convince us to push and exceed what we're told not to do.

5) When we enforce a law, or judge someone for their immoral decision, we fail to recognize the deeper need. Cops are pulling people over for speeding, and demanding a ticket in compensation for the act. I really don't think that safety comes into play on all occasions.

So what to take from this...

If we're concerned with others' opinions about our decisions to do the right things, realize that it's not our problem how they respond. Sure, we might be affected by it, but the bigger problem if they respond inappropriately, resides within them.

If we have bad habits, we have to be conscious all the time to combat it. Recognizing the trigger or cue for the habit and the "benefit" received from the act can help to break it.

Laws and rules can seem restricting, but in fact they're quite freeing. I've heard many people talk about legislation as well as religion and faith as being restrictive. I can't say that 100% of legislation has the right motivations, but I can say that for the Bible. The law in the Bible is given to us as guidelines for living a fulfilled, happy, and Christ-centered life. We're told to not lie, steal, lust, harm, or slander because God doesn't want us to damage our relationships and lead a life enslaved to these damaging habits. It's motivation is 100% spot on.

Watch out for the lies your told. Many things will encourage you to take the easier road of committing the illegal or immoral act. Fight it, and stop it at the root.

And lastly, when someone else is struggling with an immoral habit, look out for their well-being and really try to help them end this cycle. They can do serious damage to themselves and those they love if they continue. Don't judge them for their decision; try to provide help.

So I challenge you next drive to go the speed limit. I used the extra time on my drive to really consider what I have struggled with. And it was the best drive I've had in a while. If you do drive the speed limit already, think about why you do. Is safety really your motivation? And the greater question... Are we concerned for the well-being of our friends, family, and selves the motivation for following our moral code? What habits have us pushing the limit, and when will it finally catch up with us if we don't break it?

The Manila Folder

2012-07-02T02:24:00.002-07:00

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that you knew as it was unfolding, would be one you would never forget? A conversation that would be life-changing because its message was exactly what you were looking for at that time? I was blessed to have one this past week with a great man, a fellow co-worker, Rob over lunch at a small local pizza shop.

With his mother passing away when he was 6 years-old, Rob's father was left to raise seven kids on his own. Working a majority of his day at his bar and also an alcoholic, his father pretty much left Rob and his siblings to figure life out on their own. Rob struggled in early jobs to support him and his wife, and went to school late, only to have setbacks in finding jobs with his degrees.

He shared with me a piece of advice. "Don't let life happen to you. Make life happen."

He thought of this 15 minutes before quiting a previous job because it was stagnant. He wasn't learning anymore. He wasn't growing. He was letting life happen to him and always felt a step behind on pursuing dreams in life. In fact, he wasn't really sure what his dreams were. So those last 15 minutes before walking up to his boss to inform him of his decision, he took a pad of lined paper and a pen and started writing.

After lunch, when we got back to work, he opened the bed of his truck and pulled out a manila folder for me to see. It contained drawings, doodles, and a list on this lined pad paper he had mentioned during lunch. It was a list of roughly 25 dreams he wanted to accomplish. A bucket list essentially, but it listed everything from being a handyman, to writing a children's book, to inventions he had ideas for, to creating a 3-year teenage Sunday school lesson plan.

And he's been going after them. He worked as a handyman for 5 years, doing small-scale construction work for many different people. He enjoyed the opportunity to help out so many different people. After finishing his job, he would ask to share the gospel with his clients.

He even wrote a children's book. He's almost finished it. It's titled "Duck Book" and it's meant to be a tongue twister for kids.

As I look forward to this last year at Penn State as an undergrad, I wonder what's next and I put so much emphasis on the importance of a few big decisions, in similar fashion to Rob's focus on finding the perfect job. In fact, looking back, so often the pursuit of the next step in life has constantly clouded my vision from pursuing other dreams.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a fry-cook at McDonald's.

I wanted to be an engineer (for a train) because that's the type of engineer I thought my dad was and I thought that was the coolest thing.

I wanted to marry Cinderella, and I made some moves. She was digging me, but I just wasn't ready to settle down yet. The long distance relationship would have been tough with me in Baltimore and her staying in Orlando. And don't get me started on how jealous Prince Charming was and how difficult he made things.

I wonder now, where have these child-like dreams gone? Maybe not these dreams specifically, but dreams in general. Have I pushed aside the pursuit of the simple pleasures in life, for the chase of "bigger" "more important" things?

If you're like me, sometimes the "big decisions" can keep us from experiencing the best parts of life. It's like driving down a highway and failing to observe and enjoy the beautiful scenery along the way.

I know over the rest of this summer, I'm going to start my own list and keep it in a manila folder to remember Rob, a man who took the time to share his story and dreams with me. It's made a big difference in his life, and it was important enough for him to want to pass it along.

So who knows, maybe I'll end up at McDonald's at some point cooking fries, or maybe I'll end up saying "I Do"s with Cinderella, but in all reality those aren't my dreams anymore. They change as we change. Regardless of whether or not they actually happen, recognizing your aspirations and the pursuit of dreams is an important part of keeping it light and fun while making life happen.

So what's in your manila folder?

Needed?

2012-06-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

I really miss those weeknights under the lights, playing soccer against county rivals back at Daniel Boone High School. I was never a natural at soccer, and it was a sport I really had to work at. Not the most agile, I can remember running hills, doing plyometrics, and just trying to be an asset for my team. I didn't start varsity until my senior year, but it was so rewarding after working hard throughout high school. I finally felt like I was contributing.

At work, it's been very similar. I've always felt self-conscious of my work quality, or not worth the money they're paying me until I heard from coworkers that I was in fact doing a good job. That recognition is exactly what I'm looking for to get settled, but without it, I always feel this need and strong desire for the approval of others.

Even when it comes to clubs and organizations, I've always been driven to give as close to everything as I could give. Burning myself out just to get the feeling that others "needed" me. I wanted to feel that my existence made a difference; that if I left I would be missed, or things wouldn't be as good. And maybe I'm the only one that feels like this, but I think this is a void that we feel inside and constantly try to fill with the recognition of others.

Recently I was really intrigued by the story of Samson. It's told in Judges chapters 13-16. I would highly suggest reading it. It has lions, honey, and three-hundred foxes tied in pairs and lit on fire. How can you not enjoy it.

But in summary, it tells the story of the last judge of Israel who was born to take the lead in God's plan of delivering the Israelites from the Philistines who ruled over them at this time. He was born a Nazirite, dedicated to God from birth. He is the only man in the Bible with the power of extraordinary strength, and an angel tells his mother that this strength doesn't fail as long as his hair remains uncut.

Being a Nazirite, Samson is forbidden from particular things. Looking at Judges 6: 1-8 it says in Ben's Shortened Version (BSV),

"That if a man or woman is to make the Nazirite vow, a vow of himself to Yahweh, he will abstain from wine and fermented liquor, cut his or her hair, or go near a corpse." Interestingly though, as a man dedicated from birth to God, we see Samson participate in many "unNazirite-like" actions:

1. He marries a Philistine woman.
2. He goes back to the corpse of the lion he kills when it attacks him.
3. He uses the "fresh" jawbone of a donkey (another corpse) to strike down a thousand Phillistines.
4. He sleeps with a prostitute.
5. He is blinded by women to the point that he gives up his secrets to them, including the secret of his strength that resides in his hair remaining uncut.

In conclusion, the Philistines cut Samson's hair and yet in response we see him say in Judges 16: 20 "'I'll go out as before and shake myself free.' But he did not know that the Lord had left him."

Do we reside in our own abilities to try to accomplish God's will? Do we think that our strengths are our own? Or do we somehow think we can make God feel like he needs us?

Samson's strength remained, despite his countless sins, but it is when he fails to recognize his own need for God, he is left powerless, abandoned by the Lord. Samson's eyes are plucked out as he is captured by the Philistines, leaned up between the two pillars that supported the temple and was harassed. He prayed to God for the last time in verse 28 "Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes."

And God listened, providing Samson with his strength again. With all his might, Samson pushed the two pillars over killing thousands of the Philistines in the temple, fulfilling God's will of helping deliverer Israel from their hands.

I'd like to share the important messages I've drawn from this amazing story:

1. There's a difference between God's "perfect will" and "permissive will." He wants us to do the right things, and live sinless, but because of our brokenness, perfect is not achievable. He still remains with us though as long as we don't think take it upon ourselves and diminish His role in our lives.

2. God will fulfill His will regardless of what we do. That might make us think we can kick up our feet and chill but I think it makes point 3 important.

3. God doesn't need us. He's the perfect storyteller, working through our mistakes to fulfill his plan. Yet, it's amazing how often we resort to idolizing "our own" strengths as if we're contributing, and making God's plan better than it was before we came along.

Our personal relationship with Him is what is important for us. We experience Him by pursuing his perfect will, loving others, taking leaps of faith, and living radically for Him. He loves us, and gives us a great amount of freedom to play a role in his redemptive story just like Samson, which is very uplifting. It's not about us. It isn't about how "needed" we feel. It never was and never will be. It's just about Him, and how He has, and is, and will continue to prevail.

So lets take the pressure off ourselves to contribute and let's enjoy the grace, mercy, and freedom He's poured onto us. Let's serve Him, not to be recognized, or "earn" salvation, but out of our love for Him.

In the 99 or the 50?

2012-06-25T02:22:00.004-07:00

I will always remember the group of students who "occupied" our student union building for what seemed like months in protest of.... maybe Sbarro's or was it Panda Express. Regardless of their success/failure in the HUB, the "occupy" method was a very visible protest of the 99% vs. the 1%, and has been an interesting topic of debate heightening many people to anger over the distribution of national wealth.

I think most of us identify with the 99% in this argument but regardless, my post is not intended to add kindle to the fire by picking sides. Regardless of your stance or opinion on this particular subject, please join me as we zoom out a bit and view this in a different light.

Take a deep breath... Okay keep reading...

According to the World Institute of Development Economics at the United Nations University, you would be in the top half in the world wealth distribution as an adult if you had assets of $2200 a year.

$2200 a year........... That's it...... Imagine trying to live off of that. And that's the ceiling of the bottom half of the world's adults. Which means that this money is used to support their dependents as well, like their children.

And... The bottom half of the world combine for just a little more than 1% of the world's total wealth.

We fail to realize that with a median income of close to $50,000 in this nation, most of us are part of the top 10-20% of the world when it comes to wealth. Wealth isn't exactly income. It's the difference between income plus assets minus debts so that's important to note. Our limited perspective makes us seem poor in comparison to millionaires and billionaires, when in fact we are some of the most fortunate in the world.

The reason I bring all this up is because I've been thinking recently, "Why are we this fortunate?"

Why was I raised in a developing country when most of the world isn't? Why will I get to live in the comfort of a home and have food on the table when nearly a billion people in the world are living without enough food on a consistent basis? Why, even if I were lazy, would I be more stable than men and women who gave so much sweat and tears for less?

Is it completely by chance; A flip of a coin or the roll of a die? Is that really how it works?

Is it that God places us in different circumstances and provides us with blessings and challenges that show us our need for Him. If so, that raises more questions, but questions that we in our limited perspective will completely be able to answer.

Minus small differences due to our personal efforts, I can't think of an argument that is centered around us earning our position, or them earning their depravity. Regardless of your belief, doesn't that change our sense of entitlement to money a little bit? Why am I better off than more than half the world?

I'm sure we all agree though that there is a stronger desire for us to hold on to what we have than to use it to benefit others. And not that it's always a conscious thought, but when we look at ourselves, we see the internal battle of the 99% mentality vs. the 50% mentality. Are we pitying ourselves or lending a helping hand to those who are struggling?

This shouldn't feel like guilt is twisting our arms behind our backs to give money. I know I personally struggle with the desire to hold on to my money and feel guilted into donating. We should be thankful that we have the gift of security and the opportunity to help others. And money isn't the only way to help either. Volunteering our time and energy in service is another powerful way to help those in need.

And I don't want to diminish our drive to help those in need here in the United States. There are people in the United States who are a part of the bottom 50% internationally. And the efforts of some of the top 1% here are extremely admirable and should not be forgotten or downplayed.

The facts show that we are very fortunate financially to live where we live. Right now many are asking "Why won't the 1% help out the 99%?" And it's a fair question, but I hope we also ask, "What would happen if the top 50% of this world was constantly looking out for the bottom 50%?"

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."
1 Timothy 6:17-19

*http://www.wider.unu.edu/events/past-events/2006-events/en_GB/05-12-2006/

Mr. Charles

2012-06-21T13:55:00.001-07:00

Six one-hour driving lessons with Mr. Charles in his black Hyundai Sonata and I had enough. "Look left, right, left. If you're clear, you're moving." He said this word-for-word at every stop sign we came to, which quickly became too many stop signs. His gray hair, black glasses, and excessively boring voice stick with me. I can definitely say I learned from him, but as I said, six lessons were enough.

Taking driving lessons was annoying. For those who have gone through it, you probably had some random instructor critiquing your every turn, stop, acceleration, deceleration, and oh boy.... parallel parking. Yup, you were constantly told to drive like the safest driver on the roads, which ironically makes you the most dangerous by instilling road rage in the other, "not-so-safe" drivers.

And the worst part, was that Mr. Charles' car was equipped with a brake pedal in the passenger seat. And he would reach over and grab the steering wheel at any time. He would pretty much take the role as the driver. And that's frustrating! I don't know about you, but I like to be in control. And I am not a fan of driving with an instructor who does not trust my ability to drive.

But are we the Mr. Charles in our drive with God? Could He be frustrated with us trying to grab the wheel and apply the brakes?

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall."

Psalm 13: 1-4

It's hard for us to commit to the idea that if we really commit to God, He is the driver and we are just the passenger. How often do we get impatient, pressing the brake pedal, or grabbing the wheel from Him?

Do we feel forgotten? Or that He has left us? Have we been distraught with the struggles of seemingly unanswered prayers or sorrows and struggles that have lasted longer than we desired?

Do we pressure Him to give us immediate answers, or to tell us exactly how we are getting to our destination? These doubts impair our relationship with God and can make the ride less joyful.

How are we trying to grab the wheel? How are we applying the brakes in life? Only through putting full faith in the driver will we be able to take His route to our destination. Easier said than done. And at times it will be scary, as I'm sure it was for Mr. Charles, but God knows what he's doing (unlike some of the student drivers) and He just wants us to believe in Him and let go of our doubts.

"But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord's praise,
for he has been good to me."

Psalm 13: 5-6

The Lost Lesson of Joe Paterno

2012-06-18T02:21:00.004-07:00

The trial opening last week reminded me of how crazy this year was to be at Penn State. The accusations against Jerry Sandusky coming to the public's attention, followed by Joe Paterno's firing, the dreadful riots in downtown State College, and a beautiful candlelight vigil for the victims of sexual abuse all within a week. Then the Nebraska game where both teams prayed together on the field prior to the game and students demonstrated their support of the victims, Joe Paterno's rapidly failing health and passing, and a second candlelight vigil and memorial for a man who did so much for this school, community, and everyone who considered themselves a part of the Penn State family.

So many alumni and students talked about Joe like he was another member of their family. Seeing the flowers and piles of cards and Penn State memorabilia surround his statue at Beaver Stadium demonstrated just how much he was loved and how much he is already missed.

I was never one to consider him like a grandfather. Although my dad and both his brothers were Penn State grads, I didn't really grow up as a huge Penn State fan. I knew Joe Pa was the coach of the football team, but I didn't know what the hype was about.

Then I came to school here, and I heard all the stories of all of the awesome things this man has done. Supporting students financially in their endeavors, donating $4 million for a library, and giving hysterical pep rally speeches about picnics and meatballs. I started to feel like I knew him and I wanted to meet him just once. Just wanted to shake his hand and say, "It's an honor to meet you Coach Paterno."

Unfortunately he passed away before I got the chance to shake his hand during postgame at any of the football games despite all my efforts. But over these two and a half years, I had gained a huge appreciation for who this man really was.

He was a man who wanted to make a positive impact on everyone around him. Someone who was given so much influence and power, and yet lived a very humble life impacting players' lives and investing himself in the Penn State family. A football coach, who knew that there were much more important things than the X's and O's.

He is a prime example of a leader living in service of his followers; his players, the students, alumni, community members, and anyone who was close enough to know what he lived for. I listened to so many students this year praise Joe Pa for everything he did, and yet seemed to miss one of the greatest lessons I think he'd be too modest to speak of himself.

The following at first might sound like I'm diminishing his significance, but in fact I'm raising the significance of what he did as a man.

The lost lesson is that everyone can live a life like this. Sounds simple, straight-forward, and maybe you've considered this, but I feel like so much of this campus, and Penn State family, has missed it in the roller coaster of a year it has been. It's difficult to live like Joe, but possible and he would have wanted each and everyone of us to pursue it.

He was just as human as the rest of us; he ate, drank, slept, faced temptations, had to make difficult decisions, made a lot of good decisions, and made some wrong decisions as well. But most importantly, as the image and face of this university, as a leader, he consistently made the personal decision to completely invest himself in those he was surrounded by.

It takes determination and sacrifice to be different than the norm. Joe had the opportunity to coach in the NFL, but turned it down. Could have kept all his earnings to himself and lived a more lavish lifestyle, but he didn't.

We aren't perfect, and Joe wasn't either. We need to realize that each and every one of us has the opportunity to impact those around us for the better. We have the opportunities to make impacts like Joe did, but we have to make it a priority to take advantage of those opportunities. We need to look to him as a coach for how to live, pushing us from our comfort zone.

Imagine what this campus would be like if the 40,000+ students who knew what Joe Paterno had done here in State College all took to heart what he stood for? Or how about the 500,000+ alumni around the globe?

Let's make sure it's not only the two national championships, 409 wins, and the name on the library that he's remembered for. We need to pass on his desire to live a hard-working, passionate, fun, and selfless life by pursuing it ourselves.

Thanks Joe! We'll miss you! Rest in peace.

The Rule of Five

2012-06-14T15:36:00.001-07:00

I was grabbing breakfast with a very very good friend of mine and he asked me, "Have you ever heard of the 'Rule of Five'?" Initially I thought of the Japanese lean manufacturing process started by Toyota that consisted of asking the question "Why?" five times. Here's an example:

Why did you go to the movies last night?
Because I wanted to hang out with my friends.
Why did you want to hang out with your friends?
Because they are cool and fun to be with.
Why are they cool and fun to be with?
Because they have pet pandas and play kazoos.
Why do they have pet pandas and play kazoos?
Because they're in a kazoo band that features pandas on guitar and piano every now and then.
Why are they in a kazoo band that features pandas on guitar and piano every now and then.
I don't know.

All this to prove that this process is intended to find the root of a question. Sorry for wasting 10 seconds of your life with pandas and kazoos because that unfortunately wasn't what my friend was talking about.

The Rule of Five is that you are the average of the five people you are closest to. Think about that for a second... You are essentially a mix of the people you interact with most. It makes sense, but sometimes we overlook some of the simplest, least complex things in life.

Another way to look at it is to consider a way you creatively express yourself. Photography, painting, dance, sports, writing or even work. I personally love drumming. And as I was drumming on my steering wheel while driving I realized that there's no such thing as pure creation or imagination when it comes to making up parts and just playing. Everything I play is either from something I heard, read from a piece of music, or was a combination of two or more previous things I already knew. We cannot create something from nothing.

And isn't that how nature works? Everything is a byproduct of something else. 2+2=4, seed + water + sunlight = tree, and a Labrador + a Poodle = a Labradoodle. It never fails.

So think about what people you are imitating. You're not just yourself, living a completely different lifestyle than those around you. It's important to reflect and think about who you really are, because it's in moments where you are stressed and unable to think that the true self comes out. Your true self being a mix of those closest to you.

So... Who's in your five?

The Relationship of J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter

2012-06-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

I was a ginormous Harry Potter fan growing up. Waiting in line for each book, I highly anticipated each successive story to the series. I wasn't much of a reader, but when a new Potter book came out, my next two days were devoted to reading, eating, and maybe a couple hours of sleeping. I think I pulled more all-nighters reading Harry Potter than I have my entire college experience. Anyway....

I feel like the story of "the boy who lived" is perfect for illustrating an interesting thought that I considered a little over a year ago.

J.K. Rowling knows everything about Harry Potter because she created him, right? Every strength, weakness, and hair on his head creation of her imagination. But does Harry know J.K. Rowling?

To Harry, J.K. Rowling doesn't exist at all, or if she did, he would know nothing about her. The only way for Harry to know J.K. Rowling would be for her to write herself into the story.

So now we are looking at the imaginary world that Harry lives in from an external perspective instead of the internal perspective all the books are narrated from. A perspective where he is still participating in his story, but doesn't know his own author, Ms. Rowling.

We live in our own world, with our own story, very similar to Harry. We go through our personal plot-line that follows our own pursuit of happiness and self-discovery through countless little adventures: school, our careers, relationships with friends and families, hobbies, and the random journeys we venture. Yet, is it possible that we cannot see outside the bubble that we live in, like Harry?

Could it be a story within a story? And no I'm not transitioning to Inception here.

What if the J.K. Rowling of our story came and lived with us so we could know her?

Unlike J.K. Rowling, our author has written Himself into our story so we can know Him. He humbled Himself to live as a man amongst us and died for our sins so that we could know Him.

It sounds crazy, and growing up, I always had doubts. It didn't make sense in the context of everything we have going on here. I thought it was all about how good of a person I was here. But think about this.... We have a limited perspective on life outside ourselves. We struggle with understanding so many things here on earth, let alone the things unseen. So how can our views be objective and true without an external perspective?

As I said earlier, I pondered this thought a year ago, and I've changed a lot since then because of it. I changed because I realized that Jesus is God's way of writing Himself into our story.

I noticed my own weaknesses and inability to live a perfect life. I am unfit to be in His presence when I leave this world. I couldn't save myself. Only through the sacrifice of His perfect son am I able to be rescued from the death I deserve. He sent Jesus to die undeservingly for us so that for those who believe in Him will have eternal life with Him.

And if this is true, it completely changes everything. If Harry knew that his world, his story, was just a source of entertainment for millions of people in our world he would probably act differently. Maybe he would crack a few Hufflepuff jokes. So what does it mean for us?

He wants us to know Him!

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."
- Revelation 3:20

For the first time, I realized what the story is all about. He wants us to know Him, and I'm so glad I opened the door to let Him in. He's been knocking for a long time.