The Mom Experience

The Promise

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:30:00 +0000

It has been a little over a month since the Sandy Hook shootings and not a day goes by that I don't think about the 26 lives lost that day. Each day as I step foot into my workplace, my mind almost immediately goes to Connecticut, and I think of that horrible day.

Unusual, you may ask? Not if you find out that my workplace is an elementary school.   I am a "special area" teacher at a local elementary school and spend my weekdays teaching students in grades K-5, working with close to 150 different kids in one day. Thirty of the kids I see each day are first graders, the same age as the 20 sweet children who lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Just days before that dreadful day in Newtown, CT, our school had a safety drill. For the protection and safety of our students, I cannot and will not give details on the actual drill or procedures, but I will tell you that every time we have this drill, at least one student asks why we have it. My answer is almost always something like, "to practice being safe" or to "help keep you safe." Many times students will discuss among themselves before or after the drill that we have it to practice "hiding from the bad guys" or to "lock the bad guys out." Many times I've had first graders or kindergarten students during one of these drills, and I always have a few that are scared, even though they know it isn't real. I've always reassured them that they are safe, that we do the drills to help to protect them and that they are in one of the safest places they could ever possibly be.

When I've had to review procedures for the drill, I've seen and felt the wide eyes staring back at at me, filled with either fear or wonder. I know they are thinking, "What could be so bad in school that we would need to hide in the first place?" I know some have to be imagining what the "bad guy" looks like or what he might do to us.

I've even likely said to a few of them "nothing bad would ever happen here." Or other similar words. I know I've thought many times in the past that this type of thing would never even happen at elementary school. It isn't likely or common for elementary students to bring guns to school to shoot other students, right?   And who else would want to shoot a bunch of elementary school kids anyway?   *sigh*

I can't help but think that the teachers and staff of Sandy Hook Elementary had those same thoughts and uttered those same words whenever they had to reassure children during their school safety drills. I can't even let myself go to the place they might have been mentally on December 14, 2012, when "all hell broke loose." Whenever I even start to think of what that must have been like I just about lose it. I know I am not the only teacher in my building who thinks this way.

I also know I will be thinking of them next time (and the next time, and the time after that. . .) we have one of our school safety drills. How could I not? And I know I won't be the only one.

And then I think, "How did we get here?"

How did we get to the point where those types of drills are even needed in the first place? Why is it that we have to teach our children to hide from "bad guys" in one of the places they should feel safest? The "real world" can be a scary one to elementary school students.   Heck the real world can be scary for students of all ages! That "big scary world" isn't supposed to invade their schools, playgrounds or homes! They should always feel safe at home as well as to go play outside or go hang with friends at the local mall. And children most certainly should feel safe when they go to school every day.

I remember being in elementary school (it was just yesterday after all, right?) and the only drills we ever had to practice were the ones to protect us if the school should catch fire or a bad storm were to develop in the area. I never ever once worried about someone coming into school to hurt me or my friends or teachers. Sure there were times when walking home I looked around and made sure no "bad guys" were following me, wanting to kidnap or hurt me. But then even that was rare and typically only after we'd had seen a "stranger danger" program at school. And I know I didn't think twice when walking into any school building about being safe. The only time I was probably ever scared while at school is if we had a tornado warning and had to take cover, yet I was always confident my teachers and principal would keep me safe.

What has become of our society that children now have to worry about being safe at school in addition to all of the other scary "real world" places? What has become of our society that when parents have to kiss their kids goodbye in the mornings, before putting them on the bus or dropping them off at the school door, they have to hope and pray they will have the chance to kiss them again at the end of the day?

I am just in disbelief that we have so failed as a society that many of our children can no longer truly feel safe anywhere anymore. That thanks to some crazy people, our children have to worry about this happening at their school, the movie theatre, or the mall.

I thought about making this post about gun control, because all of the "latest talk" has gotten me really thinking about all of this again today. However,   I am not writing this to start a debate. Guns after all, are just part of the problem. I just want to make people stop and think, to stop arguing and to listen. Is that too much to ask?

Yet I will say, we have failed as a society when we care more about our rights to own guns and stockpiles of ammunition, than we do about keeping our children safe, giving them proper health care or keeping them warm at night. I reeeaaaalllly don't want to make this post about gun control, but I don't think I will ever understand why so many people are so against having tougher laws when it comes to buying and owning guns? So many times I've heard, "What about knife or rope control? Those things can kill people too. What about that?" Well, the last time I checked, knives and ropes are tools that were designed and are MAINLY used for a different purpose. Unfortunately they are also used by a some people to kill sometimes.    However, a gun is a WEAPON, not a tool, that most people use to hunt for food or for sport, but unfortunately too often are used to KILL PEOPLE. Big difference. And what about those special guns that kill bunches of people all in a matter of minutes? Do we really need to own those? Really??

I don't want to hear the argument or the saying that "guns don't kill people, people do" ever again. It is true, guns don't kill people all by themselves. However SOME of the people operating the guns USE the guns to kill people WAY TOO OFTEN. And many of those that use the guns to kill people are mentally ill or just plain bad and evil and hey, they can buy guns at Walmart or on the internet (without anyone ever checking to see who they are)! Yes, we as a society have failed them too.

And again, I don't want to make this about gun control, because like I said, guns are only PART of the problem. We have failed as a society when we care more about ourselves than each other and don't want to take the time to look more closely, to take our noses away from our computers, video games, smart phones (guilty as charged) and other devices to notice the people around us.

When is the last time you really got to know all (well most) of your neighbors? I think I have people on my block that have lived near me for over 10 years that I've never talked to, not even once. FAIL.

How many of us would even recognize a nearby neighbor if we saw them in the grocery store?   That is not how it was when I was growing up. Granted, I know we didn't know everyone, but we knew most of our close neighbors, had block parties and other get-togethers, and ran around outside for hours with our friends. It is not like that anymore.

And don't get me started on how we really fail as a society when it comes to helping each other. Sure we are great at helping in times of disaster or sickness, but what about all of the time? So many of us don't want to help the poor, the homeless, the sick, the mentally ill, the elderly, or our children - I could go on and on - not if it means giving up some of our hard earned money. We are too selfish.
This goes beyond gun control. We need to take a long hard look at ourselves, stop being such a selfish "all about me" society and start caring more about each other, just like we did in the "olden" days. Not just in times of need, but all of the time.

After the Sandy Hook shootings, I loved hearing about how so many people across the country and the world, were participating in "26 Acts" of kindness, to honor the memory of those 20 children and 6 adults taken from us way too soon. I even did some of those "kind things" myself. But I couldn't help but thinking how great it would be if we could act this way all of the time. That maybe if we were a kinder, more caring society, that we wouldn't have as much of this "bad stuff" happening. That our children would feel safe to go to school again and no parent would ever have to worry that when they kissed their precious little ones goodbye in the morning, it would be for the last time.
And that if there were someone thinking of hurting our children (or hurting any human being for that manner) that we'd recognize right away that something was wrong, we'd know the "warning signs," that something wasn't quite right, get that person help right away, and maybe even prevent anything bad from happening! Wow, what a thought! You mean if we care about each other and take care of each other, of EVERYONE, we might actually stop something bad from happening?

Don't get me wrong, I am lucky enough to live in a community where I see a lot of kind acts going on around me all of the time. I know so many caring and giving people, I am proud to live where I do. But I also know we could do more.

I know I am going to make a promise to myself and to my community. As a teacher, I owe it to my students to do what I can to help keep them safe both in school and in our community. To start with, I recently made a special promise, in honor of the Sandy Hook Elementary victims AND survivors, and I'd love to see you do the same. Please click here for more info and please help spread the word. This is the least you can do. We all have to work together to stop this sort of thing from ever happening again.

Denial

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Mon, 28 May 2012 12:20:00 +0000

I am not 43.

  I do not have an 11 year old who will be in middle school next year. 

She will not be driving in only 5 more years. 

She is not almost as tall as I am.
No way.

My baby is not 9 already. 

She will not be a 4th grader next year.
I will not have two teenagers in just a few short years.

Impossible.

My nephew is not 18. 

He does not graduate in a few days.
He is not going to be in college this Fall.

 No way can any of this be possible! 

I'm in denial.

A Wish and a Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:48:00 +0000

I am a big believer in community and that we should help and support each other as often as possible. I see and hear about so much selfishness in our country these days it makes me sad. There are so many people (politicians come to mind) doing all they can to help themselves and not enough people doing more to help each other.

Thankfully, I am fortunate enough to live in a community full of giving people. I witness almost on a daily basis, so many random (and not so random) acts of kindness that I am proud to call this community my home.

Several years ago our community rallied to help a local teenager needing expensive cancer treatment. Just a few days after the news broke about his illness and the insurance company's refusal to cover the treatment, people in our town raised more than enough money to cover the treatment and related expenses. Such kindness is what makes it hard to imagine ever living anywhere else.

I've also seen the Internet community rally and help people in need. When there have been international disasters, such as the Japanese Tsunami or the earthquakes in Chile, people have spread the word, sent donations via text, etc. I've also seen the Internet band together here locally for tragedies such as the Indiana State Fair stage collapse and more recently, the Southern Indiana Tornadoes. The kindness and outpouring of support is always so heartwarming and just shows me that no matter how far apart we are, we are all one big community.

Now it is my turn to reach out to my local and Internet friends for help, not for me, but for my friend Mike and his family. Mike has been sick for years now, with a condition yet to be diagnosed. Now his son, a freshman in high school, has been stricken with a similar illness and one of his daughters has been recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. The medical bills are mounting and it is getting more and more difficult for the family to cover those everyday expenses. Due to his illness, Mike hasn't been able to work much and even though his wife is working, it is just not enough anymore.

I can't possibly do their story justice on my blog so I am posting a link (below) to a website Mike's sister started for their family. At this point, every donation will help no matter how big or small.

I am also a big believer in the power of prayer and positive thinking, so If you can't help out financially, please send your positive thoughts and prayers his way. I'd also love for anyone who reads this to share this with your friends and family as well as sharing the story on Twitter or Facebook.

We may not all live in one city or town, but we are all a part of a community called the Internet and we have this wonderful tool called Technology. So let's put our computers, smartphones, tablets and social media to work and do something good for a wonderful family who needs us now more than ever.

Click here to learn more about Mike's story and how you can help:

Indiana Jones Family Wish Page

Thank you!!

A True Gem

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 03:41:00 +0000

I have lived in the Indy area for about 13 1/2 years, moving here just a few months after Bill and I married, and the same year as Peyton Manning's rookie season with the Colts. I remember that football season well, even though we didn't move here until November of '98, well into the football season. Peyton's name was all over the news, so it was hard not to notice him. Peyton had a great 1st season, despite the Colts' losing record of 3-13, setting all kinds of rookie records and winning the hearts of people all over the Indy area, including mine.

Peyton's humble, boyish charm (along with his amazing athletic skill) quickly won Indy fans like me over that first year. I was never a huge football fan, especially not when it came to the NFL, until Peyton Manning came along. Watching him play was so much fun, that as soon as one game was over, I was already anticipating the next one. Even when he had a bad week, I could never be mad or frustrated with him. After all, no one is perfect.

I've never known Indy without Peyton, so the thought of living here without him feels sorta like a best friend suddenly moving away - getting an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach, not knowing when you might see him again. Except that we will likely see him again, wearing another team's uniform, winning over a new set of fans. Next fall, no matter where he might end up, I am sure to have a bad case of fan envy, jealous that another city has him as their own.

Peyton Manning (center) warming up at Colts Training Camp, August 2009

My girls are sad too. Peyton was their favorite and the only Colts quarterback the girls have ever known. They don't understand why he's leaving, and why would they? No matter how many times we explain that he is a professional, that playing football is what he is paid to do, that the NFL and the Colts are a business, they just don't get it. They see football only as a sport, something to do for fun and to entertain fans, not for a way for someone to make money. One of Kiki's favorite toys when she was little was "football bear, which was a Peyton Manning Beanie Baby that she carried around everywhere. Ah, memories. *Sniff*

I am not normally one to put celebrities or sports figures high up on a pedestal. I think in general professional athletes are overpaid and so many of them parade around like they are so much better than everyone else. Often you hear of a football players getting arrested, beating girlfriends or wives, or driving drunk and making a fools out of themselves. But not Peyton.

One of the reasons he is so popular with so many different people is because he is so humble and down to Earth. After a big play, he might flash a quick smile after completing one of his spectacular touchdown passes, occasionally patting a few guys on the back on his way to the sidelines. But then he gets right back to work, talking with his coaches and fellow teammates, plotting out his next play. No dancing around or running to high five fans in the end zone. No spiking the football or jumping all around chest bumping other players. And he doesn't throw fits when he doesn't play well. Sure, you might see a grimace or shake of the head when a play went horribly wrong. But then he'd get right back to work, trying to see how he could fix his mistake.

Peyton meant so much more to Indy, to his fans, than just football. He was a fantastic role model for thousands of boys and girls. He gives much of his earnings to charity, including making a huge donation to a local children's hospital, which is now named after him. Not only did he donate his money, but he invested many hours off of the field and off season to help so many in need. Whether it was coaching or mentoring kids, participating in a fundraiser, hosting a football game for HS students or visiting sick kids in the hospital, Peyton was always dedicated to helping people in our community. Not only did the city and Colts fans embrace Peyton, he embraced us as well. He always made sure we knew he was part of this city, that he wasn't just here to play a game. I wish there were more like him in sports and in life. He is a true gem.

Peyton Manning accepting a community service award, August 2009

So life goes on in Indy, for the Colts, without Peyton. I am still a Colts fan and won't jump off any bandwagons just because he is gone. I know he was out all of this season with a neck injury, but it will still be awfully strange when football season starts next fall, to see the number 18 jersey hanging from the rafters and not on the back of a player I was used to seeing on the field every Sunday.

Thanks for a fantastic 14 years, Peyton. You may be gone from Indy now, but you will always have a place in our hearts.

Girls at Colts training camp August 2009

Broken Record

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:31:00 +0000

I haven't written a post since October, which is probably one of the longest dry spells I've had since I've started my blog. I really hate that I don't post more often now, but life has just zapped about every ounce of creative energy I have left. Motherhood, work, taxiing the girls to and from activities, house work. . . rinse and repeat. . .

I have plenty of inspiration and reasons to write, but when I do manage to find the time, I find I can't even write a sentence. I feel like a broken record, as I know I've said this same thing, on this very same blog, so many times before in the past two years.

I know probably should give up and quit this blog, but I just don't want to let it go. I don't even know if I have any readers left, but my purpose for starting the blog in the first place was to have to have an outlet to share my experiences as a mother, not reach out to an audience. Connecting with readers and meeting and tweeting with other bloggers has just been a wonderful perk. I don't even know if "Momexperience" is an appropriate title anymore, since so much of what I want goes way beyond being a mother. Yet I don't know what name really fits my blog (I am, however, open to appropriate suggestions).

Kiki scolded me the other day because I haven't written a post about her in a really long time. She said she loved reading what I wrote about her, so now I am feeling quite guilty. It is not that I haven't tried. A few months back, I had an entire post written all about her and how she's grown up so much, only to have it disappear into Internetland. I tried to recreate it, but since so much of my writing is "in the moment, " it just wasn't happening.

Here's to hoping I can get started writing again. . I do have a few posts in the works right now, (including one about a recently departed, beloved sports figure here in Indy). Maybe if I'm lucky, I will have one of them up before the record skips again.

One More Thing

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 15:23:00 +0000

Upon hearing the news of the death of former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, suddenly I felt old. He has been an American icon 3/4 of my life, and I am having a hard time accepting he is gone. I never thought his death would impact me this way, that I would feel so sad. But it has.

I grew up in an "Apple" family. We got our first Apple when I was a 'tween, and I knew nothing different when it came to computers, until I married my husband, a "Windows PC" guy. I still owned an Apple when we got married, but he dragged me over to the dark side when it was time for us to get a new computer. Even though I was resistant at first, I eventually accepted Apple's rival device and learned how to use it with very little trouble. But this new Windows computer's operating system was modeled to be like an Apple, so it really wasn't that much harder to learn.

But I always had that longing. Every time I'd see an Apple ad on TV or in a magazine, I'd wish I still had one. Then for a while, when Apple wasn't doing so hot, I figured I was better off knowing how to use a Windows PC.

My parents, however, both still owned Apple computers and pretty much swore they'd never buy anything else (my brother drifted to the dark side well before me). My mom worked for a university and was surrounded by Apple products, so she wouldn't have dreamed of owning anything else.

My dad was more or less the same way. He was loyal to the brand, despite being forced to use Windows products when he was at work. And when the iPod first came out, he was forever hooked. You see, my dad has a ginormous CD collection and so when iTunes and the iPod came along, it was as if they were made just for him. He eventually imported every CD and LP he owned, to his Mac computer. He was able to easily make endless mixed playlists, something he loved to do, and take them with him on his iPod everywhere he went.

Fast forward a few more years. I was using a laptop with Windows software, but getting very frustrated with its constant crashing and other annoying issues. We'd had it a while and I was more than ready for a new one but that was just not in the budget. Knowing this, my mom gave me her aging laptop (she was upgrading and buying a new one) and I got a chance to experience the "new" Apple firsthand. I wasn't sure at first, afraid they would have changed their product so much it would take me months to figure everything out. But using an Apple is like riding a bike - once you learn how, you never forget.

I eventually got another, "newer" Apple laptop (thanks, Mom) and found my way back from "the dark side." Now I work at a local elementary school teaching technology to students in grades Kindergarten through 4th grade. My job is to help to integrate the technology with the curriculum the students are learning in their classrooms. And of course, no surprise here. . . the students use iMacs and many of the teachers use iPod touches to teach their students lessons in the classroom. Our school also just got a set of iPads and are slowly, but surely, moving our way to being a "21st century school." I also teach the students about the technology they use and help them become familiar with some of the well known "Tech Wizzes" like Steve Jobs, who passed away just one day after I discussed him with my students. He was my "tech wiz" of the month this past September.

I feel like I've come full circle. I strayed for a bit, but found my way back to Apple products. Not only do I use Apple products at school (my work laptop is also an Apple), but we have a house full of products displaying that now famous logo. My husband was the first in our family of four to get an iPod and now he has an iPod touch. We bought my daughter, Kiki, who is almost 11 years old, an iPod Nano for Christmas last year. I have an iPod, iPad and a Mac Mini, which was a birthday present from my husband for the girls and I (since we all use Macs at work and school). We have an Apple TV, my anniversary gift from my PC guy husband, who also just pre-ordered my very first iPhone (the 4s!!).

Apple products have become part of our everyday lifestyle. I rarely go one day without using something that was once just an idea in Steve Jobs' brain. I am typically not one to spend more than an an hour or two mourning the loss of a celebrity, but this is different. Steve Jobs became famous for helping to create some of the worlds most used and beloved products. He had the idea to create a computer that the average person could use, no matter their skill or knowledge. Whether you use Apple products or not, in some way or some fashion something you use everyday (or quite often) was created to be just like it, or even better, may have even been designed or created on or by a person using an Apple product. Steve Jobs' wasn't just the Apple CEO, he was an innovative genius and I can truly say he changed my life. I have no doubt he changed America. He certainly belongs in the same category as those other famous "game changers" like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Alexander Graham Bell.

I will not spend my days mourning him, but I will honor him the best way I know how - to continue to use the products he loved so much and wanted to share with the world. To continue to teach and hopefully inspire the students I work with everyday, and my own children, to work hard, to learn, and to never give up on their dreams.

Steve Jobs said it best with this now famous quote, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Thank you, Steve Jobs, for never letting anyone "drown out" your inner voice, for believing in yourself even when others did not, and for giving us that "one more thing." RIP, Steve.

Light a Candle

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 04:36:00 +0000

Like so many others, I was shocked and saddened when I heard the outcome of the Casey Anthony trial. Since I read about the verdict, I've seen all kinds of people wanting to light candles, leave their porch lights on, etc., for Caylee. I've read all of the cries of outrage on Facebook and Twitter. I even expressed my own shock when I first heard the news.

However, I want people to remember that there are thousands of cases of abused and neglected children in this country every year; hundreds more are murdered. Sadly, many of their perpetrators never spend a day behind bars because the laws related to crimes against children just aren't strict enough. And when people are convicted of these crimes, they often receive a slap on the wrist, and are not punished severely enough.

The media coverage of this trial was complete overkill. Hundreds, if not thousands, of others stand trial (or are waiting to) for doing unspeakable things to children, yet their cases never make the news. I don't know if I will ever understand why the media was so fascinated by this particular case, and why people let themselves get sucked right into the coverage of the trial. Sure I read about it, wondering how someone could ever hurt a child this way, yet I know this is just one of so many other cases like this.

So many people fail to see this type of thing happens in their own neighborhood, sometimes practically right in front of their eyes. Maybe the circumstances aren't the same, but that doesn't make any one of those children less important, or any of those perpetrators less evil. I'm not saying that Caylee isn't important, but just hoping people realize she is just one of many children who suffer at the hands of some sick and cruel individuals.

If you want to do something for Caylee, turn off your T.V.'s, computers, and put away your cell phones for a while. But before you do, post a Tweet or Facebook Status, and share this message. Invite your friends to join together and leave a porch light on (or light a candle) not just for Caylee, but for all of the abused, neglected and murdered children who so badly need our attention.

We can best honor Caylee by speaking out against child abuse and other crimes against children, and demand tougher punishments for their perpetrators. The news media can honor Caylee by turning off their microphones and cameras and finally let poor Caylee rest in peace.

Their Feet Were Made for Dancin'

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 02:00:00 +0000

This is what happens when the girls get together with their Ohio cousins. . .

My Voice

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 03:56:00 +0000

As many of you know, I am a big supporter of many different causes, most of which pertain to children. You don't have to look far to see those causes, as I list many of them on the sidebar of this page. Those that know me personally, would tell you that I am generally a giving person and that I would gladly give my right arm and left leg if I knew it would save someone's life. I often wish I had more money, not so I could have a bigger house or fancy car, but because I'd love to donate more money to the charities I support.

I may not be rich, but I am not without resources. I may not have millions, or even hundreds of dollars to give, but I do have a voice. I've realized that I can use my knowledge and experience to write about these important causes and share them with others, who in turn may be able to help in some way, either by donating money or by continuing to spread the word.

The main reason I started this blog was to share stories about my life as a Mom. I never expected I would use it as a platform to speak out about my causes, or as my soapbox to preach or rant about anything related to politics. However, I am finding that has very much become one of my main reasons for continuing to write. I may not post as often as I'd like, but that is because I typically post only when I feel inspired or have a story to tell. I've yet to bring myself to write just for the sake of writing, or posting just because I have a blog to update. I have written a few times because I felt I should and either posted something I considered mediocre, or didn't bother to finish the post at all. As I've said before, time is an issue too. Now that I work full time outside of the home, my time to write is more limited. And when I do have time, my brain is fried or I'm simply too exhausted to write.

You won't see me post about politics often, because this is not a political blog. There are plenty of those types of blogs out there and mine is not going to be another one. However, that doesn't mean I won't ever mention any political issues, but you will find the topics I write about to be mostly related to children, education or health care, my three biggest "hot buttons."

In the near future, I am looking towards revamping this blog and adding a page (or maybe two) or possibly a separate blog for my "soapbox" issues and causes. Until then, I will post about them right here along with my stories about the girls.

I am hoping to find a way to post more often. I can't commit to every day or even every other day, but I will try to post at least twice a month (who knows, maybe once a week!) even if it is just a picture or two. Sometimes a picture sums up everything I want to share, without ever having to write a word.

If you have any suggestions on possible titles for my new "causes" page/blog, I'd love to hear them - you can email them to me or post them as a comment below. I do have a few ideas I'm kicking around ("Stepping on My Soapbox" is one but I'm sure it has been used before - maybe a variation of that?) but nothing that I really like enough to use.

I have a few posts in the works and will hopefully have them up very soon, including my "too late to be called a birthday post" that I started writing for Kiki more than two months ago.

No matter what, please don't give up on me. I may not post everyday, or even every week (or month *sigh*). But know that I am still here and that I will be back, ready to use my voice the best way I know how.

Girls' Best Friend

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 04:40:00 +0000

Need I say more?

She Shines Like A Star

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 01:14:00 +0000

Just eight short years ago, on January 4, my little fighter was born. Boo arrived eleven days late, without breath or heartbeat, and fought for her life in the NICU. Even though the doctors gave every worst case scenario (I know, they have to), she proved them wrong, won the fight, and is now a strong (and stubborn!), smart, spunky and healthy child.

I often feel Boo is our miracle baby, and because she had a rough start to her life, shouldn't have to ever fight that hard again in anything she does. Life however, has already been full of challenges for her. I know that many children go through so much worse, but as her mom, I can't help but feel badly for her when she has these experiences. I sometimes feel like she has gotten and continues to get the "short end of the stick."

Her most recent challenge happened this past December, just before Christmas. Boo was part of a local dance company's production of The Nutcracker. Her older sister, Kiki, was in the same production in 2009 and just minutes after Boo watched her perform, she knew she wanted to try out the following year. She almost immediately announced that she wanted to be a Gingersnap, the Nutcracker role this dance company often gives to dancers Boo's age. She talked about being in The Nutcracker off and on from December 2009 until auditions this past August. Boo auditioned, was chosen to be in one of two Gingersnap casts and was simply over the moon with excitement. Nothing (except maybe a pet pig) could have made her happier. Boo cheerfully looked forward to and attended every rehearsal, and like a child anticipating a birthday or Christmas morning, frequently asked how many more weeks/days/hours/minutes/seconds until her performance.

Finally "Nutcracker week" arrived. Boo danced her way through the week, practicing her part in the kitchen, prancing down the hall into school every morning, and asked to listen to "her" Nutcracker music over and over (and over and over) again. Soon the night of dress rehearsal arrived and she was literally dancing for joy before, during, and after it was over. Not even a late night of rehearsal made her tired, and getting her to go to sleep afterward was a challenge. I truly believe she ate, slept and dreamt Nutcracker that whole week.

Finally, performance day arrived. Boo woke up slightly grumpy - I assumed at the time it was due to being up a touch later than normal the night before at a family birthday party. Looking back I wonder if it was a sign of things to come that day.

Even though Boo's call time wasn't until 6:30, I had to get her ready in the morning (Bill is bun-challenged) before taking her sister, who was a mouse in The Nutcracker, to her Saturday afternoon performance. Because Boo's part was double cast, she was only in half of the shows, and her cast was to perform Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. When I left to take Kiki to her call time, Boo was a little disappointed she had to wait until much later to go, but she was otherwise perfectly happy and bouncing off the walls, bubbling with excitement. Little did we know, that was all about to change.

Saturday night finally arrived. After dropping Kiki off for her curtain call time, I waited in the lobby for my husband to bring Boo, who had a much later call time. She arrived on schedule, full of excitement and so happy to finally have her chance to perform.

Fast forward to show time. . . As The Nutcracker opening music started, my heart started pounding with excitement (and a touch of nerves) anticipating watching the girls' performances. I was especially excited to see Boo, whose Nutcracker moment finally arrived. Bill and I sat in the audience with my Dad, who had flown in from North Carolina, and with the majority of Bill's family, who had trekked in from Ohio. All of them made the special trip to see the girls perform. More guests, including my Mom, were due to see the Sunday afternoon performance the next day.

Just as The Nutcracker party scene was ending, my phone (ringer off) started buzzing in my pocket. I ignored it, figuring whomever was calling could wait. A few seconds later, the phone buzzed again, so I pulled it out thinking "Come on! Who doesn't know I am watching my girls dance tonight!" I didn't recognize the number of the "unknown caller, " rejected the call and put the phone back in my pocket, only to have it start buzzing again! I started to worry - what if one of the girls was hurt or sick? Maybe someone backstage was calling?

Sure enough, just as that thought crept through my brain, I got a text message from someone working backstage saying Boo had just thrown up twice. My thought was "Seriously!?" Then they asked us to come and get her. My heart sank. I showed my husband and he shook his head in disbelief. I was so torn: my older daughter, Kiki, was just moments from taking the stage, and I didn't want to miss it, yet I knew either Bill or I had to go take care of Boo. Before either of us could get up, someone came to get us. Bill decided he would just go and leave me to watch Kiki dance. I stayed and watched the rest of the show, but it was really hard to enjoy it when all I could do is think of Boo missing her performance. I cried when her Gingersnap cast took the stage and I saw a different dancer in her place. I was thankful we had tickets for Sunday, hopeful that she would bounce back quickly and be able to make her 2nd performance. Knowing that no matter what happened with Boo, Bill would at least have another chance to see Kiki perform so I prayed hard that she wouldn't get sick too.

Fast forward to Sunday. . .Boo was still horribly sick with a nasty stomach virus, and had to miss both of her performances in The Nutcracker. We were all so heartbroken for Boo, knowing how hard she had practiced, and how badly she had wanted to be in the show. She was too sick to think about it on Saturday, but when she realized on Sunday morning she was going to miss both performances, she was distraught. When she realized she would not get to perform, she wailed, "I did all of that practice and now I don't even get to do the show!" Then she put her head in my lap and just sobbed. To see her that way was so heartbreaking, and I cried right along with her. I tried my best not let her see my tears. While I did want her to know I felt sad for her, I was afraid if she saw me cry, she would be even more upset.

Heartbreak and all, Boo did not let that whole experience get her down for long. After the final performance on Sunday, her sister Kiki brought home a special surprise for her - a Get Well Card signed by the entire Nutcracker cast. Kiki told us how one of the dancers, a 5th grader, had the idea to make the card and have everyone sign it. That same sweet girl wrote this note to Boo, "You will still shine like a star even if you aren't here." I teared up when I read it, and Boo just beamed. Despite knowing she missed her performances, the act of kindness shown by this girl and the rest of the cast made her feel so special. She hugged that card as if it were her most prized possession (at the time, I really think it was).

Soon after The Nutcracker was over, winter break and Christmas came, providing a great distraction from Boo's sadness. She still did have a few moments when she thought of something else she missed out on, and would say things like "I didn't get my picture taken with Mother Ginger!" and "I didn't get to sign autographs on stage!" But her sadness gradually morphed into determination: Boo says she is definitely going to try out for The Nutcracker again next year and even wants to audition for the spring ballet production of Cinderella. She is not going to let anyone, or anything - not even a stomach virus - keep her for having her chance to shine. What Boo may not yet realize is that she already shines and has for eight years now. She IS a star in our eyes, whether she is on stage or right here with us. We are so proud of her and love her very much. Happy 8th Birthday, Boo!

*I started this blog post on January 4, determined to follow in my annual tradition of writing each girl a birthday post. However, I realized that I won't do those posts any justice if I rush to try to get them written in time for their birthdays. That was the case with this one. I had too much of a story to tell and the perfectionist in me just couldn't get it written and edited in time to put it up on her birthday. My tradition will change a bit from here on out - I will try to post something about each girl sometime around her birthday, in addition to my sporadic posts throughout the year.

The Thanksgiving Pig

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 19:28:00 +0000

I've always wanted to write a Thanksgiving post, but never have, since we are typically with our extended family. This year we are on our own (first time ever since we've been married I think!), which gives me a little time to write.

I thought about listing all of the things I am grateful for, but thought it would be more fun to share a Thanksgiving story that Boo wrote for a project at school. She is a great storyteller, and has an active imagination. Mix that together with her great sense of humor and the result is some pretty funny stories. One of these days I need to videotape her telling one of her stories - to have me retell her stories by copying her words on to my blog, just doesn't do them justice. You have to hear and see her tell her stories to truly appreciate them!

Boo is a second grader now and her class is currently learning about creative writing, something she really enjoys. For her class Thanksgiving writing project , the teacher sent home a drawing of a turkey. The students were told to decorate the turkey anyway they liked, and then write a story about their turkey. Something to keep in mind while reading her story is that Boo LOVES pigs. She has loved them since she was about 3 years old and if we'd let her, would gladly have a pig for a pet. I also included her original ~~mis~~spellings of words (there weren't many!), including the word "saw", which she spelled s-a-l-l. When I helped her proofread her story and told her she had spelled that wrong, she just didn't believe me. Took showing her the correct word in the dictionary for her to believe me. She had thought all of this time that "saw" was something you cut wood with, and that "sall" was a form of "see." Tee hee! Anyway, now that you know the background, here is her story:

The Thanksgiving Pig

Once opon a time there was a turkey sitting outside on his porch. He sall a pig walking by. He went inside and looked at his calender and sall that Thanksgiving was coming up. The turkey went down to his basement and went over to his table. Then he made a sign that said "Eat Pork." When he was not looking, the pig snuck in and glued a feather on the turkey's sign. The pig made a new sign saying, "Save Our Pigs, " then he snuck back outside. When the turkey turned around, he axedentley grabbed both signs and he went outside. Everybody walking by saw the signs, but they still ate turkey on Thanksgiving. That turkey never lived again.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!

Gone Fishin'

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Always Remember, Never Forget

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 19:27:00 +0000

I will never forget. . .

the early morning phone call from Bill, telling me to turn on the TV

the horror I felt as I watched a plane hit the second tower

calling my family members to see if they had heard the terrible news

the fear that ran through me when I realized our country was under attack

hearing the panic in the voices of Matt Lauer and Katie Couric, as the towers fell

sobbing as I heard about the attacks on the Pentagon, and the plane crash in Pennsylvania

I will never forget. . .

holding my nine month old baby tight in my arms, not wanting to let go

the sadness I felt and saw in the eyes of everyone that day

the eerie quiet outside with no planes or helicopters in the air

the almost empty streets with few cars on the road

jumping out of my seat at the sound of a sonic boom from fighter jets flying by

sitting with Bill and Cameron on the couch, glued to the TV

I will always honor. . .

police officers, firefighters and rescue workers

the Heroes of Flight 93

the soldiers fighting for our freedom

I will always remember. . .

the men, women and children who lost their lives that day

the families of the ones who died

I will always remember. . .

that I am an American

and live in a free country

Always remember, Never forget

September 11, 2001

Caption Me - Doggy Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:44:00 +0000

I am in need of a caption for this picture. Care to help? Please leave me a comment with your caption. The more creative, the better!

Crazy, Lazy Days of Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 12:40:00 +0000

Summer, as usual, is flying by at great speed. Hard to believe it is already late July! With Indiana's ~~backassward~~ school year calendars, the girls' "summer" break started May 26 and will end on August 11, just when the heat really fires up. In in a little less than three weeks, my girls will be in school all day. You would think I would be thrilled to have some peace and quiet, and while I will find it nice not to have to hear the constant bickering, I will miss our days at the pool, sleeping in and pretty much doing whatever we want with little worry of a schedule.

We have had one crazy busy summer this year! Since I unintentionally put my blog on hiatus from March until just a few days ago, I am way behind on updating everyone on all of our adventures. We enjoyed a nice vacation, dance gala, summer dance camps, and of course frequent trips to the pool. Instead of trying to play "catch up" and trying to write a post about each one those adventures (I may not finish until next summer), I thought I'd just show you. I do think I will have to do a separate post about our vacation because there were so many little adventures during that week, the two pictures I included in this post just don't do it justice. I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we enjoyed experiencing all of the fun!

Crazy, Lazy Summer - 2010

Taylor's High School Graduation

Keeping cool in the pool!

Indy Zoo Trip

Dog days of summer

Vacation in Southport, NC

Vacation pose with Grampa Jack and Grammalene

Yes, We think We Can Dance. . .


Happy Birthday to America and Laci

"Starry Eyed" in the 4th of July Parade

"Little House" on the Conner Prairie

Summer Dance Camps

Playing with our friend, Jack

Organizing My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:32:00 +0000

I haven't written a blog post since March, which is about the longest dry spell I've had since I started my blog. Life has just been way too busy, and at the end of the day, when I typically have time to clear my head and write, I am just way too tired. I've had so much I've wanted to write about. I've practically written whole posts in my head while driving the girls around in the car, but when I actually sit down to write, I can't remember any of it. I swear if there was a way to write my blog by wiring my brain right up to the computer, I would have more frequent posts. But I am actually scared of what those thoughts would look like if they came directly from my brain, as I rarely am able to focus on one subject for more than a few minutes. Let me explain. . .

I was recently diagnosed with Adult ADHD, yet I've suspected for years now that I have this condition. I just never was sure how to go about getting diagnosed. I took several online screenings, and all of those pointed to me likely having ADHD, but again I did nothing. I talked about it with a few friends and family members, and while many of them agreed I had some of the symptoms, no one was as convinced as I was that ADHD was the cause. I kept thinking, "If only they knew what it was like inside my brain, they would understand."

I also was told that my symptoms are classic of anyone my age, with small children, and that I just had too much on my plate. I'd agree with them, except I have ALWAYS had those symptoms, well before I had children, but they've just gotten worse as I've taken on more responsibilities. Again, hard to explain if you don't actually experience it first hand.

The only way for me to even come close to describing how my brain works, is to share this joke someone sent me via email once, called Age Activated ADD:

"I decide to wash my car. As I start toward to the garage, I notice
that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the
mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash
can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
trash first, but then I think that since I’m going to be near the
mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills
first. I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my
desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I
don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for
the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day; the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,
I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember
what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail."

When I first saw that joke, I laughed, because it sounded like my typical day. Yet the more I thought about it, the less funny it became. Sure it is funny if you look at it for what it is - a growing old joke. But when that describes how typical my days were even when I was younger, than it isn't so funny, at least not to me. Obviously things weren't quite so obvious when I was a child, but back when I was in school this wasn't even classified as a disorder. The only thing even resembling ADHD back in my youth, was something called "Hyperactivity." I knew kids in my class that just couldn't sit still and would act out, run around like crazy, etc. I was not one of those children. In fact, I rarely got in trouble at school, except for talking during class or interrupting. I could sit in my seat, finish my work, etc.

As I got older, I did get decent grades, but not excellent grades and I always remember having trouble staying focused in class and while doing homework. And the harder school became, the more trouble I had completing my work. If I really liked a class or subject, I excelled. If I didn't, I struggled. And it just got worse in college when I had no parent around to make sure I was doing my homework or go to class. My grades were so poor one semester, I nearly flunked out, ending up on academic probation. I also had trouble with tests, especially the standardized variety. At least with the written tests, I would get partial credit for explanations even when my answer was wrong. I procrastinated when it came to projects, waiting until the last minute to finish, which often resulted in a poor or average grade. Studying was difficult for me, because the littlest noise or interruption distracted me. I could never study anywhere public and often hid in the corner of the library or the stacks in hopes of getting something done.

Things didn't change when I graduated either. I never had success finding a job in my field, education, because I wasn't motivated enough to really look hard. I applied for a few jobs, had a few interviews, but rarely followed up. And when I was turned down for a job or two, I just gave up. I should have applied to every school district I could find, yet I only tried applying to a few and then just decided it wasn't worth it. So I worked at a restaurant, a bar, and eventually found work in a child care center.

I did manage to do well enough in the restaurant to become one of the lead servers, and a floor supervisor. I think I did pretty well waiting tables because it was something that kept me busy. But I wasn't completely symptom free. As good as I could be with my customers and tables, I was constantly forgetting things and getting sidetracked, even when it wasn't busy. Someone would ask for a refill on their water, I'd walk back to the kitchen to get it, and would immediately forget what I was doing, especially if someone interrupted me. Then I'd have one very unhappy, and thirsty customer.

When I worked at the child care center as a supervisor, I was constantly getting sidetracked and had trouble completing work my boss gave me. I was great with the parents and the kids, so I managed to keep my job. However, when an assistant director position became available, a person with less experience than me was offered the job. As upset as I was, I knew why I wasn't the one chosen for the job. My boss even sent me to an "organizational skills" workshop and I tried so hard to be more organized, but was not successful.

I also lost a job once because I got sidetracked and forgot to do something that could have resulted in a really bad situation. I don't really care to go into details because I have never been fired and the thought of what could have happened still upsets me too much.

Becoming a parent has made my symptoms even worse. I LOVE being a parent, but the added responsibilities, especially where the housekeeping is concerned are just overwhelming. My house is a mess. I have clutter everywhere and I just can't seem to get started getting rid of it, as much as I want to. I get the laundry done, but it often sits in a basket unfolded for days. I know I need to get rid of outgrown clothes, but just can't seem to find the time. I do manage to make sure my girls are fed, dressed, where they need to be, etc. I never miss an event at school, have rarely missed getting them to their appointments, etc. I've never forgotten to pick them up or get them off the bus. But I have to make sure everything is on the calendar, and even set alarms to make sure I don't forget. I fear one of these days I will miss something important and I think that alone keeps it from happening.

I have so many other symptoms I haven't described yet, but this post is long enough. I will address some of those in another post later down the road. If I wrote about all of them today, I'd have enough to publish a book. I am not kidding. Finding time to write, and being able to focus long enough to finish (and have what I write make sense) is very challenging. As much as I love to write, I still need a clear head, and that is something I just don't have very often.

I recently started taking medication and I am hoping it helps me clear my mind a bit, and become more focused. Yet, I don't expect things to change overnight. I know that I will not only find the medication/dose that works, but also need to work hard to change some life long habits. I know I have the support of my husband, family, and close friends, which makes all of the difference in the world. I haven't told very many of my diagnosis, even some family members, because I am a little afraid of the reaction I will get. I know that not everyone believes that adults can have this condition, and even if they do, don't completely understand it. Many believe that people like me use this diagnosis as an excuse for their behavior.

I debated writing this post, because anyone who reads this will now know about my ADHD. I really am exposing a part of me that I've kept to myself for most of my 41 years. But I decided I NEEDED to write this post, not just for me, but for anyone else like me that may have this condition but doesn't know what to do about it. Hopefully I will enlighten anyone who believes Adult ADHD doesn't exist. I am working on organizing my life, one step at a time, and am hopeful I can change for the better. Now if I could only remember where I left my keys. . .

The Farthest Star

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 21:16:00 +0000

One of the my favorite things about the girls' elementary school is the way the teachers and staff involve the parents in the education of the children. The school hosts several events at school throughout the year, and the teachers often invite parents to participate in activities in the classroom and to work on projects at home. The staff also encourages parents to volunteer and visit the classrooms and be an active part of the learning process. I really feel our school is successful because of this type of parent involvement.

Kiki's 3rd grade teacher recently assigned the parents "homework", asking us to write an encouraging letter to our child, to help boost her confidence during the week of ISTEP testing (Indiana's assessment tests for school children). Bill and I took this homework very seriously, as we wanted to help encourage Kiki without making her too nervous. She already tends to be a "Nervous Nellie" when it comes to assessments and tests, so we wanted to do what we could to ease her mind.

I couldn't believe how tough of an assignment this was. I write Kiki and Boo notes all of the time and put them in their lunchboxes. I am forever giving them pep talks and doing what I can to make sure they feel confident in their intellectual ability. I often tell them things like "You will do great" or "I know you can do it" before they have a test or when they are working on a project for school. So why was this so hard? Maybe because we wanted to find just the right words, knowing she would likely read that letter over and over again.

Bill and I talked about what we wanted to convey in our letter, and then I sat down to write it. At first I just sat there and didn't know exactly what to write. But as I thought about my beautiful, smart, 3rd grade daughter, I couldn't believe all she had accomplished in her short nine years! My heart filled with pride, and the words started flowing from my mind with ease.

Here is what we wrote:

"We are so lucky to have you in our lives. We are so proud of all you have accomplished in your 9 years and are especially proud of what a great student you are. You work so hard everyday and are a great example to others, including your sister.

ISTEP is your chance to show off all you’ve learned this year. Relax, take your time, and just do your personal best, just as you do everyday. We know you will do great!

We love you all the way to the false planet Pluto and back a million times!"

Kiki didn't tell me when she read her letter. I knew the teacher would be handing out the letters sometime during the first couple of days of testing week. A couple of nights into testing week, after the girls were in bed, I found an envelope addressed to me in Kiki's handwriting on my bathroom sink. Bill found a similar letter on top of his computer keyboard in his office. We knew that meant she had read our letter.

As you can imagine, those few sentences we wrote meant the world to her. She loved the letter so much, she keeps it in her desk at school where she can read it anytime she needs a little boost to get her through the day. I also keep her letter near my desk, right there and ready for when I am needing my own boost:

"Dear Mommy,

I love you a whole bunch! Thank you for that nice letter. It made me so happy that I cried a little bit. I am so happy that you are in my life. Every morning I read the letter that you and Daddy wrote me. I love you up to the farthest star from home and back to you. "

*sniff*

Nothing to Lose

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:23:00 +0000

My girls love music and art. They are constantly singing, dancing and creating. Boo especially loves art and is constantly crafting. She is forever getting out art supplies and cutting, gluing, drawing - you name it, she loves it. Boo couldn't wait for 1st grade so she could attend "specials," and finally be able to go to art class like her big sister. If you ask her what her favorite thing about school is, she will tell you without blinking an eye, "art." She enjoys music too, and will sing often, but art is definitely her favorite.

Kiki is definitely the more musical child. She sings nonstop and just about anywhere and everywhere. I am not exaggerating when I say everywhere - the child sings while using the bathroom! Her new favorite place to sing right now? In the shower! She loves music class at school and I can always tell you what they are doing in music because she will come home singing the songs she's learned in class. When they have a special event they learning songs for, such as the Veteran's Day assembly, she rehearses every chance she gets. By the time the event comes, I could practically sing the songs in my sleep, I've heard them so much. While Kiki enjoys art, she would tell you music is her favorite.

The art and music teachers at their school are wonderful. Both of them really know how to make their subject fun, but also teach the students valuable skills that relate to what they are learning in the regular classroom. They don't just sing and draw, but the learn all about technique, patterns, reading notes, art mediums, composers and artists. I could go on and on. Just recently Kiki told me her favorite classical music song was Beethoven's 5th Symphony and she knew and could pronounce the composer's name of The Nutcracker (Tchaikovsky, in case you didn't know). And she's only in third grade.

I can't imagine school without art and music class. These subjects, while enjoyable, also help make our children well rounded. They learn that math can be found in a song or a painting and not just in a textbook. Music makes learning those subjects more fun too - anyone learning to count or spell with a song can tell you that. And for a child who may struggle in math or reading, excelling at something such as art or music can really boost self esteem, which goes along way to helping them succeed in school.

Due to slowing economy and budget cuts, our school district, and many others across the state, may have to cut art and music in grades K-6. We may also lose our media specialists, nurses and clerical staff. Class sizes may increase from and average of 25 to 44 students. When I first heard of this last week, my heart sank. I felt sick to my stomach. And I am not even one of the teachers that may be affected by those cuts. Just the thought of my girls and all of the students missing out on such important education, makes me sad. I want to cry when I think of losing the loving and dedicated art, music and media teachers.

I have a college degree in Education. I've never been fortunate enough to have my own classroom, but I've subbed, was a teacher's aide for a student with special needs, and I now volunteer regularly in my daughters' classrooms. I know how hard these teachers work every day and that they often go above and beyond for their students. I see the passion these teachers have at our school for educating our youth. Despite the fact that they have 25-30 kids in their classrooms, they manage to help each student the best that they can. They do what they can to make sure students who are struggling get extra help, and challenge everyone to do their personal best.

I can't imagine how difficult teaching will be if there are 44 students to a classroom. How are they are going to be able to focus on making sure kids can read, write and add and also find time to teach art and music? If they manage to find a way to the media center, they will likely only be checking out books. There won't be anyone to teach them lessons on the computer or involve them in an author study.

I am not a politician and I don't particularly like politics. Part of my disdain is that politicians of all shapes and sizes say they are going to make education a priority in this country. Yet every single one of them seems to put it on the back burner the second they are elected into office. Our schools are losing money by the day and no one seems to care. Everything else takes a priority, and I just don't get it. When are people going to realize education is our future? That none of the rest of it would happen if we didn't have teachers and schools to help educate our children. Sure we could all home school. I know there are some really great parents who have had great experiences homeschooling their children. But not everyone has the means or ability to home school. Even with my background, I am not so confident that I could do so and be as successful as the classroom teachers are.

Our country is failing when it comes to education, and something has got to change. Education is becoming for the privileged, and everyone else is left to get by on whatever they can afford. Which for most means no special classes, no opportunities to learn about music, art and technology.

I hear so many people say they don't want tax increases, that they can't afford to spend money on schools and education. And of course not nearly enough people want to devote time to figuring out a solution. Politicians are too busy campaigning to really come up with a good education plan that they will implement past election day. I keep hearing "we can't afford it." My question is, can we afford to continue this way? Can we neglect our children and schools to the point that our country falls apart? By devoting our money and resources to improving education, we have everything to gain. As a country, we could only get better. Seriously, what is there to lose?

Go Clots?

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:32:00 +0000

In honor of my favorite Indianapolis Colts and Super Bowl Sunday, I thought I'd share what my Kiki wrote at school on Friday:

In case you can't read it, this is what she wrote:

"I think the Clots will win! If the Clots don't win my mom will fell happy for a person how (who) is on the Saints that useds to be on Purdue."

Well, spelling may not be her strength, but she sure knows me well! Go Colts, or should I say, Clots?

The Brave Nine

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:13:00 +0000

Kiki was born nine years ago today on a cold, January day. She didn't want to come into this world, or at least tried her best to stay in the womb. Which meant seventy-two hours of labor for me. Yeah, you read that right. SEVENTY-TWO. And from the minute she was born, she wanted to be held, and as you would expect, found the most comfort in my arms.

Nine years have passed now, and I find Kiki is very much the same way today. Each year she gets a little more self-sufficient and seems to need me less and less. Yet there are times (mostly at night) she turns back into my baby again, and wants to cling and be held. I can't even count how many times I've heard her say "Mommy, I want you." I go to school to help out and her teacher is amused at how the independent, confident child he sees everyday, suddenly attaches herself to me minutes after I enter the classroom.

That same child didn't blink an eye this past August when she auditioned for a local production of the Nutcracker. Kiki walked right into the audition like it was just another day at school, with only a "Bye, Mommy." Didn't seem bothered at all that I couldn't go back with her, or watch, despite the fact that it was a completely strange, new place around a bunch of people she'd never met before.

That same, (almost) nine year old child, bravely danced on stage five times in a matter of three days. FIVE TIMES. Kiki danced in front of an auditorium full of (mostly) strangers, and enjoyed every single minute of it. During one of those performances, a fellow dancer accidentally stepped on her dress, causing her to trip and fall, just when she was to leap across the stage. Despite the fact that this was her turn in the spotlight, that very brave child did not stop. She did not shed a tear, nor bat an eye. She never once cried, "I want my Mommy!" That soon-to-be nine year old stood right back up, and continued dancing, never missing a beat, with a big smile on her face. My child. *Heart swells*

I have never been more proud of Kiki in all of her nine years. I truly don't think that as a grown adult, I could have handled myself as well as she did. She is so brave but fortunately for me she is still a Mommy's girl. The night she fell on stage, Kiki came home, curled up in my arms, just as she has done so many times before. I heard the all too familiar words, "Mommy, I want you." She may be nine, but she is still my baby.

Happy Birthday, brave girl! I love you and am so proud to be your mom!

A Hair Raising Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 15:17:00 +0000

Kiki has had long hair since I can remember. Last time it was short she looked like this:

Kiki - 18 months old

Her hair made it past the shoulders when she was about two years old and just kept on growing. Sure we would take her for haircuts, but they were mostly just "trims" and the most she'd ever get cut was 2-3 inches. Part of the reason we never cut it any shorter is that I was enjoying all of the things we could do with it; learning to braid it, put it in a bun, etc. The other reason is that her daddy loves the long hair on his girls, and he really wanted her to keep it that way. She looked so darn pretty with it, who could argue with that!?

In Kindergarten, Kiki had a friend with the condition, Alopecia areata, a common autoimmune skin disease resulting in the loss of hair. When I learned of this, I mentioned to Kiki that maybe she could someday get a big haircut and donate her hair for some little girl who couldn't grow her own, or who had lost her hair due to an illness. Of course Kiki was only five at the time and was a bit horrified at the idea of someone else "wearing my hair, " so I let it drop.

Flash forward to second grade, year 2008. That same Kindergarten buddy was in her class again and the whole topic of donating hair came up again, but this time it was Kiki who came up with the idea. She told me how her friend was "better" and now had all of her hair back. But she knew there were other little girls and boys who had lost their hair due to similar circumstances, namely one little boy with cancer. This boy was the son of a childhood friend of mine, and Kiki had seen enough pictures of him to know he had lost his hair during cancer treatments. She also realized there were many other children like him and she wanted to do something to help. "Maybe I can cut my hair short and give it to someone who needs it, since I can always grow mine again and little kids shouldn't have to go without hair." *Mom's heart melts*

However, while Kiki's hair was quite long, it wasn't long enough to meet the requirements of the different hair charities that accept hair for donation. So Bill and I told her to wait. Take some time to really grow it long, and then maybe get it cut before third grade. Finally that time came and it still wasn't quite long enough. There was probably the minimum ten inches to donate, but Kiki wanted a certain style and we knew that she would not be able to if she had her haircut then. So, once again, we talked her into waiting. I told her that she should easily have enough hair by Christmas vacation.

Flash forward once more to December 2009, just before Christmas. I measured Kiki's hair and, lo and behold, it was finally long enough. So I scheduled an appointment and just a few days shy of 2010, she finally got her big haircut. Let me just tell you, I've never seen a child so excited about a haircut. Kiki was so excited she practically skipped into the beauty salon. This was the same child who I used to have to hold on my lap while someone trimmed her hair. The same child that loved braids, buns, curls, bows, and ponytails. I kept asking her if she was nervous about cutting so much off (I know I would have been) but she insisted she was not. After the haircut was finished, she kept admiring herself in the mirror and swinging her head around, enjoying the way it felt to have her hair bounce around at her shoulders. I can't imagine how much lighter her head felt. I've had long hair before, but nothing close to as long as hers was.

I think what I loved most about this whole experience for Kiki, was how excited she was to do something for someone else. She wanted to do this all on her own. Every time we talked about getting her haircut, she'd mention how she couldn't wait donate her hair. She said she didn't have money to donate, but she had a lot of hair, and she knew that would make some other little girl happy. Kiki asked if she would get to see who got her hair, and was disappointed when I told her "no", but she understood.

We mailed her hair off to Locks of Love on New Year's Eve. Kiki chose that one because she knew the charity specifically helped children, and while she understood adults sometimes lose their hair too, she wanted to help someone closer to her age.

I am so incredibly proud of my daughter. Kiki already has said she is going to grow her hair out again, and donate more when she has enough. She's inspired her little sister, Boo, to want to do the same. Who knows, maybe I will follow suit. . .

Kiki before the big cut

Anticipation. . .

Here we go. . .

Boo can't watch!

Halfway there

Long gone. . .

Kiki checks it out. . .

View from the back

Kiki's new "do"

All ready for the mail

Wordless Wednesday - Caption Me

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:43:00 +0000

I've never done a "Caption Me" post, but I really didn't know how to describe this picture. So please help me by leaving a comment below with your caption.

Seven Things I Love About You

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:22:00 +0000

Sweet, smart, silly
Energetic
Vivacious
Enthusiastic
Nurturing

A year ago I wrote a post saying, "I can't believe my baby is six years old." I feel like a broken record because I can't believe Boo turned seven today. I might as well get used to it, because I know I will be repeating myself annually on both of my girls' birthdays.

Because of Boo's difficult start to her life, I really treasure each year we have with her. There are too many days I know I take her for granted. She has gone through some tough phases recently which have really tested my patience. She is strong-willed and there are days I am just emotionally spent by the time she goes to bed. I sometimes lie awake at night wondering what the next day will hold for us, and just praying it will be a better day, that I will be more patient and hoping for a better day. Sure enough, nine times out of ten, she wakes up bubbly, full of energy, all ready for the day, and I quickly forget whatever trouble we had the day before.

Boo is unbelievably smart and she doesn't let anyone forget that. She rarely lets anyone make a mistake and will be the first one to tell you when you are wrong. Boo is full of attitude and spunk, yet one of the most sweet natured, happy children you will ever meet. Most of the time, she just goes with the flow and does what she can to make others happy. She can be so stubborn, yet will be the first one to meet you halfway. She will gladly compromise just because she knows when she does, she's made someone else happy. Boo has the best laugh which is so unbelievably infectious and can really light up a room. She loves art and is crafting or drawing whenever she can, even when it isn't the most convenient time. The walls and tabletops in my house are proof of her constant creations.

I know I may sound like a broken record by repeating some of these words I've said about her in the past. However, I feel it is important to write about these things every year, if not every week or every day. I know someday Boo will read the posts I've written, good ones and bad. I'm hopeful though that no matter how she feels about herself at that moment, she will know how much she is loved. And I also know that writing them down just makes me appreciate her even more than I already do, so that I never, ever, take her for granted. Happy Birthday, Boo! I love you more every day!

I'm Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Kristi) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:18:00 +0000

I haven't written a post in over a month and I just wanted to let the few readers I have know that I am still here! I am alive and well but extremely busy and too tired to find time to write. I have plenty of ideas but every. single. time I sit down in front of the computer, I just can't seem to get the juices going. My brain is fried.

So much has happened since I last posted: Thanksgiving, Kiki's appearance in a local production of the Nutcracker (and her very brave performance - story to come later), Christmas, and my "I'm not 41" birthday. I really hope to be back. If not in the little bit of time left in 2009, then definitely in 2010. So please check back again from time to time. I will be back. Soonish.

Meanwhile enjoy a few pictures from the last six weeks. . .

Kiki as an Angel in the Nutcracker

On Stage

Boo "fishing" at the Children's Museum

Parent Day at dance class

A visit with Santa

Christmas 2009