The Money Kings - RULE your money at home, at work, and at play!

Your Mate Is Sick, So You Wind Up Broke.

moneyking — Sun, 11 May 2008 20:28:50 -0500

Welcome to Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Your Mate Is Sick, So You Wind Up Broke.

Preface: We’re not talking about serious injury or illness here. Anyone looking for money tips related to anything other than the common cold or occasional virus should seek the advice of 1) A doctor, 2) A lawyer and 3) A financial planner (preferably one that comes highly recommended from wealth people previously dealing with terminal or grave illness.

What we’re talking about here is when your sigoth (Just search our site for “sigoth,” if you’re looking for a quick definition.) complains of chest congestion, coughs and sore throat. Then, you go with this person to the doctor. This person gets a common antibiotic, and then all hell breaks loose with your finances.

Why Money King???!!!

Reason #1: Places like Walgreen’s and CVS.
Reason #2: Companies like Wyeth and McNeil-PPC.
Reason #3: Your sigoth starts drinking the over-the-counter Kool-Aid.

What do we mean by this:

Your sigoth goes to the doctor. You shell out bucks for the office visit. Then you shell out bucks for the prescription drugs, AND WHILE YOU’RE AT THE STORE, your sigoth decides that you might as well buy some Motrin, and some Tylenol PM and a bunch of other stuff before you even get the chance to see how the prescription stuff is going to work.

Furthermore, notice the names of the OTC stuff we just ratlled off. It’s not that this stuff doesn’t relieve pain or help people sleep. The problem is that this stuff has been off patent for years and can readily be obtained in cheaper, generic varieties at a number of retail stores.

Now here's The Money Kings tip:

Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t buy OTC cold remedies from Walgreen’s, CVS or any other run-of-the-mill convenience store marketing itself as a drug store. Drug stores don’t really need to exist anymore, and for all intents and purposes—they don’t. Your Jewel, Food Lion, K-Mart, Sam’s Club and many other larger chains can provide you with much larger quantities of OTC remedies typically at much cheaper costs, AND in the same location where you commonly buy other groceries, clothes, electronics—you name it.

The Money Kings ask, officially:

Why Buy Brand Name OTC Remedies AND Why Shop At Walgreen’s Or CVS At All?

For all you New Yorker’s out there, we’re grouping Duane Reade in there too. Why are these places so popular? Why make a special trip to these places just to get the same drugs you can find at your grocery store? Ask your sigoth . . . Maybe he/she knows.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: sex, relationship, love, illness, sigoth, money, OTC, patents

Medieval Times Mother’s Day Special: Why Don’t They Just Do It Everywhere? Damn!

moneyking — Sat, 10 May 2008 21:15:30 -0500

Welcome to another edition of Advertising Analysis.

For your consideration: Medieval Times Mother’s Day Special: Why Don’t They Just Do It Everywhere? Damn!

Radio ads have been playing all day encouraging all listeners to partake in the festivities lauded upon onlookers at . . .

Medieval Times!!!!!!

. . . dinner and tournament.

The Medieval Times radio ads actually do inform you of a great promotion: One adult ticket will yield you a free one for your mom from 5/10 to 5/13.

That’s not a bad deal. Medieval Times is pretty damn popular with families. We’re all looking for places/things/events, etc. to share with our mothers during Mother’s Day. Taking you mom to Medieval Times at a discount can’t be beat.

Benefits of Medieval Times:

The food is good and mostly filling. Just make sure you’re prepared to eat with your hands, cause you’ll get no utensils.
The temperature of the place is well-balanced and comfortable. The stadium is has nice high ceilings and is really large for the amount of people they cram into the space.
The falcon show is really interesting. Most of us have seen a man on horseback. Most of us have seen (or participated) in simulated combat, so the hokey battle scenes really aren’t that big of a deal. BUT, the falconry is cool, because 1) Most will never see falconry anywhere, but Medieval Times, and 2) The falcon itself is small, yet really fast and really powerful. In fact, as the bird flys past your head it takes a full 2 seconds for the wind rush to whap you in the head as it whizzes by!

Disadvantages of Medieval Times:

Their marketing materials straight up lie to you about how early you need to come to the castle. They’ll tell you to show up a full 1 to 2 hours before you’re admitted into the arena. What do you do in the castle in the mean time? You get bombarded with peddlers trying to sell you CCC items (“CCC” means “Cheap, Chinese, Crap”) and booze. If you bring your kids with you, they’ll pester you to buy them one of everything in the staging area outside the damn arena. It’s a real tourist trap. Beware.
If you don’t take advantage of special promotions, ticket prices can be kind of costly for those who think simulated combat is really boring.

Finally, the biggest disadvantage to their promotions and to their radio ads is that, to the best of our knowledge, their Mother’s Day promotion is only valid in one of their locations!

The Schaumburg Castle.

Why the hell can’t they just say this in their radio ad? Why spend all that money advertising on the radio, and not specify that the offer is only valid at one out of over a dozen locations? Give us a break.

If you happen to hear the radio ad, and then make plans with your mother to show up at Medieval Times in Orlando, guess what . . . You’ll be paying full price. Beware. Just another reason to check online before you do anything or make any reservation plans.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: entertainment, advertising, money, promotions, radio, medieval, times, combat, hokey

Money Hacks: Kids and Money: The Found Edition

CashCzar — Sat, 10 May 2008 20:06:29 -0500

The Money Kings article, "10 Big Time Family Money Mistakes.", posted on 05/04/2008, has been featured on the Money Hacks Kids & Money Carnival -- May 9, 2008: The Found Edition!

Please take a moment to give the carnival some love and check out the rest of the great personal finance related posts on it! Thanks to Money Hacks for hosting this week's Carnival.

Keywords: money hacks carnival, kids and money found edition, 10 big time money mistakes

Real Estate Profits And Losses: Gas Company Problems. Scenario 33.

moneyking — Fri, 09 May 2008 23:45:34 -0500

The Money Kings are keepin' it real, baby!!!

For your consideration: Real Estate Profits And Losses: Gas Company Problems. Scenario 33.

Tonight we were drinking and telling war stories from the landlord front. We were complaining about tenants, of course. We were complaining about real estate buyers and sellers. We were just complaining and telling it like it is with real estate sometimes.

One thing we forgot to spread our hate upon is a tried and true favorite of any property owner—whether landlord or owner occupier.

The Damn Gas Company.

Here are four big things that really suck about natural gas companies, all of which wind up costing someone money:

In many municipalities and towns, gas companies will neither turn off delinquent tenant accounts nor notify owners when their tenants owe them tons of money. In most places, the gas company won’t transfer a tenant’s balance to an owner. This is great! However, it would be nice if gas companies told owners, “Hey! Your property is racking up $2000 in bills to us over the past 6 months!” Why would this be great? Well, it will give some landlords more insight into the web of lies commonly weaved by tenants. So that tenant that you think lost their job, but insists is really employed, will look a lot less employed with a huge gas bill lingering in the shadows. This could give a landlord valuable time to strike.
Natural gas can be the most expensive energy bill in a household—easily. Yet the damn gas company is still so lazy that they estimate bill payments every other month. The Money Kings realize this isn’t the case everywhere, but still, for all the money these companies make we think that we should be spared the necessity of checking our meter each month to make sure that uber-gas company is being honest!
Gas companies are not allowed to turn off service during winter months. We realize this policy is in place to protect homes and water pipes, but maybe there’s a better way to operate here. Maybe there’s a way to keep water pipes from freezing independent of the temperature of an entire house. We have no idea how this could happen. That’s for you folks to figure out and patent! We’re simply positing the idea that the notion that a utility CAN’T be disabled when people refuse to pay their bills is kind of counter-capitalistic. In all decades we’ve been using both indoor plumbing and gas heating, no one has figured out a way to basically make these two seemingly independent systems TRULY independent. Wouldn’t it even be in a gas company’s interest to do this . . . We gotta quit wasting resources on people that don’t pay for them.
Gas companies are typically oligopolies. Great! Everyone loves less choice! We understand there are strategic safety concerns here with having natural gas in fewer hands. Then again, why all the bullsh*t about how it’s better for consumers when gas companies merge into bigger entities thereby leaving people with fewer choices? The same crappy infrastructure remains. The same crappy phone service remains. The same crappy vice presidents wind up making tons of money. Where’s the true value added to the consumer’s life through gas company consolidation? We don’t see it.

Have we solved anything with this list? Heck no! But, if you’re considering buying investment property The Money Kings want you to realize that whatever problems you had with the gas company regarding your own residence are not going to lessen. They’ll only compound with all other investment property nightmares and concerns of which we write each week.

Stay tuned, and . . .

Good luck out there.

Keywords: landlord, gas, company, tenant, bills, overdue, meter, readings, oligopoly

Five Ways A LAD Will Cost You.

moneyking — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:18:12 -0500

For your consideration: Five Ways A LAD Will Cost You.

This post is for the ladies. So, everyone else, sit back.

We figured we’d address a time-honored problem between women and LADs. Here’s the list of things your LAD will cost you:

Your Health: This one is easy. Even though your LAD might not kill you with bubonic plague or cholera, a case of HPV or syphilis will empty your purse in terms of medical expenses and travel costs to and from the doctor.
Your Crib: This one is a little more interesting. If you’re shacking with your LAD, and then you find out that 1) It’s not going to work, or 2) He’s cheating, or 3) His mother doesn’t like you living there, so you have to move, or 4) He keeps telling you it’s your place, when it’s really his, you need to have an emergency back up plan. If your mail is coming to his crib and your license reads his address, etc., then you break up, you’ve got a lot of back tracking to do to get your logistics together. This will cost you time and therefore money!

Your Ride: Same deal with the crib. Lots of ladies wind up with LADs, and then wind up relying on their LAD’s car to get to their job, do their job or any other number of activities leading to self-sufficiency without the LAD.
Your Credit Score: We see this one a lot, unfortunately. Ladies co-sign for cars and credit cards with their LADs. Why do you ladies do this? We know. We know. You do it because you’re in love and you trust him. You usually don’t find out your LAD is a LAD till it’s too late. But hey! That’s why you read TheMoneyKings.com. We’ll set you straight. Hell, if you’re curious about whether or not your man is a LAD, sneak into his email account or read the recent calls on his cell. A little bit of investigative work can lead to eye-opening clues that can save you a world of hurt in the future.
Your Sanity: Counseling bills ain’t cheap in the slightest. You’re running around with this LAD. By the time you figure out he’s no good, you’re all emotional and hooked. You’re planning kids and cars, and he’s looking at tramps in bars. It’s a problem that you gotta face up front, before you wind up in the LCSW or shrink’s office shelling out thousands trying to figure out WHY and HOW while mired in reflections of how you thought everything was great, and how you thought you made him happy, etc.

The Money Kings wish we had a litmus test for ladies to use to figure out if their man is a LAD. The best we could come up with was this little 5 point warning.

Some of you regular readers might be wondering why this post isn’t categorized under our notorious Sexual Sundays column. Really, this post isn’t about relationships. Dealing with LADs, in this case, isn’t really something related to both parties.

LAD management is a woman’s duty. Sort of like checking for cervical cancer. It’s just something a woman has to look out for in order to keep her financial house in order, because ultimately LADs will cost her in the long run.

"Money King!! What the hell is a LAD??!?!?!?!??!!??"

You don’t know?

Well, for the uninformed: A LAD is a . . .

Lyin’ Ass Dog!

You know what we’re talking about.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: liar, man, buster, a$$hole, money, time, effort, energy, cost, cheater

Give Us A Break GM.

moneyking — Wed, 07 May 2008 20:07:34 -0500

For your consideration: Give Us A Break GM.

Welcome to another edition of Advertising Analysis.

The automobile manufacturers will give us enough mojo for this column for centuries alone. Around 2034, when scientists finally defeat the aging gene, Money King will be still be cranking out posts regarding how much cash vehicles cost us vs. what we actually get out of them. There’s a novel idea for us all to consider.

One of our crew heard an advertisement from General Motors talking about their ”MPVs of MPG!!!!”

What????!!!!!

Blah. Blah. Blah. GM may be known for its muscle cars and trucks, but one thing it’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind on is: fuel efficiency. They're even getting their butts kicked by Ford.

Do we applaud these jokers for trying to accentuate that they really are attempting to improve MPG per vehicle?
Do we just laugh at their commercials talking about how they’re getting a whopping 35 MPG on the highway with the Cobalt when the Toyota Tercel was doing this back in the 1990?

You tell us.

As we watch gasoline in America shoot over $4 per gallon, we’re wondering why we’re not hearing ads from companies like GM saying: “Guess what. We got our a$$es kicked, but we’ve been around for 100 years and we’ve got a lot of money. So, we’re firing half of our executives and scraping money to buy Honda motors entirely.”

That might actually be the only innovation GM can afford at this point in the game.

GM is an American company. The Money Kings are a bit on the nationalistic side of things. We certainly love our country. We don’t love what GM is doing with its ads, however.

Here’s The Money Kings tip, if you want to easily check MPG and compare vehicles:

Visit http://www.fueleconomy.gov!

You’re already paying for the analysis that GM and every other automaker out there embellishes with their ads. Find out for yourself, if they’re lying. Find which vehicle makes sense for your gasoline budget. Save GM a lot of money and trouble.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: GM, cars, trucks, lies, catch-up, hype, ads, radio, tv

Money Hacks Carnival #11 - Ebb and Flow Edition

CashCzar — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:09:52 -0500

The Money Kings article, "Three EZ Ways To Combat Higher Food Costs.", posted on 05/03/2008, has been featured on the Money Hacks Carnival #11 - Ebb and Flow Edition!

Please take a moment to give the carnival some love and check out the rest of the great personal finance related posts on it! Thanks to Save and Conquer for hosting this week's Carnival.

Keywords: money hacks carnival 11, ebb and flow edition

Real Estate Profits And Losses. Scenario 32: They’ll Meddle With Your Metal!

moneyking — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:12:27 -0500

The Money Kings are keepin' it real, baby!!!

For your consideration: Real Estate Profits And Losses. Scenario 32: They’ll Meddle With Your Metal!

Watch out! THEY will get you.

See, if you own property that has wound up in one of these neighborhoods where people like to break into homes to steal metal pipes, you just wound up with another problem.

The Money Kings are now hearing reports of neighborhood a$$holes that will literally dismantle your steel shed and/or take the aluminum siding and other metal extremities off your home. So, what you thought was a burglary/theft problem inside your home has now doubled to include your home’s exterior—or heck, even that nice aluminum boat launch you installed last year. A$$holes are on the move, so ALL bets are off at this point.

If you’re lucky, and armed, the a$$holes will try to steal your siding while you’re at home. A simple 12-gauge with some buckshot will handle your perp just fine in this situation.

Typically, however, a$$holes will be casing your house. They’re watching when you’re not working on it. They’re watching when your tenant isn’t home. They’re planning to hoodwink you during the week while you’re at work, or your tenant’s at work. They’re plotting and waiting for their big chance. Then . . .

BAM!

They’re at your place stripping your gutters and siding. Heck, if you’ve got metal brick mold on your windows, they’ll swipe that too!

So, what can you actually do about this? Unfortunately, Money Kings, we’ve only come up with a few tools to pull out of your arsenal.

If you already own a house covered with metal, and you notice someone is starting to strip your stuff, you might as well strip the rest of it yourself and budget for vinyl or cedar siding. If anyone is going to sell your metal, it might as well be you!
DON’T buy a house that is convered in aluminum siding. Logistically, this will be the most attractive house for the a$$holes. Aluminum siding isn’t as popular as it once was . . . which is great . . . but still . . . If you’re out shopping for rental units, make sure you’re budgeting for all that aluminum siding to be stolen (if you’re buying in an area where a$$holes steal such things.
A sexier option is video cameras. You can install a basic video camera system relatively cheaply. In fact, you can plaster video camera system sticks on your doors and windows, and that might be enough to scare the a$$holes away! The Money Kings have actually put this theory to the test—successfully.

When shopping for rentals: Don’t worry about gutters and smaller metal exterior finishings. These aren’t necessarily reasons to miss banking on a great land lording opportunity. If you have to replace these items with a non-metallic substance, it won’t cost you nearly as much as the damn siding!

Let’s hope a$$holes don’t figure out a way to melt vinyl down for resale scrap. A whole lot more of us will be in trouble then . . .

Good luck out there.

Keywords: landlord, assholes, sex, thieves, stolen, aluminum, siding, rent, tenant, repair, property

Festival of Frugality #124 - The Name Edition

CashCzar — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:37:24 -0500

The Money Kings article, "Class Up Your Wedding On The Cheap.", posted on 04/27/2008, has been featured on the Festival of Frugality #124 - the Name Edition!

Please take a moment to give the carnival some love and check out the rest of the great personal finance related posts on it! Thanks to Frugal for Life for hosting this week's Carnival.

Keywords: festival of frugality 124, frugal for life, wedding

We’re All Looking For Diamonds.

moneyking — Mon, 05 May 2008 21:41:18 -0500

For your consideration: We’re All Looking For Diamonds.

If you’re trying to own, operation and manage a small business, you might as well buy some diamond or gold company stocks. These companies are in the same industry as you!

Whether you’re:

Looking for equipment.
Looking for supplies.
Looking for temporary help.
Looking for advertising.
Looking for permanent help.

You’re looking for diamonds.

Equipment is costly, and every dollar matters when trying to purchase a big ticket item to last 5 or 10 years.
Supplies don’t cost a lot individually, but over time these little tick marks really start to add up.
Temporary help can be costly and dangerous to your own equipment and customer relationships.
Advertising is always a gamble that no one wants to spend money on, but everyone has to . . . Finding which method works for your business line is key.
Permanent employees require time, attention and guidance. Time is the premium to the small business owner, of course. Do you have time to mentor?

You don’t want to waste your time. Like diamond mining, you’re spending so much time and effort to find that one piece to your business that will be a real asset, i.e.,

Something That Makes You Money!

Here’s The Money King’s advice on what to do:

Use craigslist.com, ebay.com and the newspaper to find equipment that will suit your business. You’ll be surprised at what you find. When you’re just starting out, in many cases, buying new isn’t the way to go since you have to conserve capital.
Depending on your industry make sure you’re buying supplies wholesale. We cringe every time we see a small business owner buying retail because “that’s all they know.” As one of your competitors in a neighboring town where they get their supplies for crying out loud.
YOU MUST USE A TEMP AGENCY, if you’re looking for temporary help. Don’t even bother trying to manage this burden yourself. Temp employees can be as bad as tenants, if you’re in the wrong industry. In computers, temp help is great, because these folks are so hopeful that you’ll hire them full time—for example. In landscaping, temp help can really suck, because of a lot of your employee pool isn’t really serious about the work and the nature of the business—we find.
When in doubt with advertising, use the KISS method. If you don’t know what the KISS method is . . . Google it. Here’s a hint. It has to do with simplicity. So think newspaper before billboard!
Stick to your temp agency and really take your time with finding permanent help. If you have to, take a seminar on hiring or interview a person that’s been hiring for years. Tips from more experienced managers can save you a world of hurt, because that full-time employee really is an investment all of his/her own.

Take the time to find the diamonds.

Keywords: business, small, diamonds, headache, problems, time, patience