The Moonraker

Catchin' Up

2010-04-07T15:37:00.001-07:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

After a loooooonnngggg absence here on the blog, I am back. Apologies to you all, but I had some other matters to address that limited my time for posting. Those are now out of the way for the time being, so I'm back to handle business.

First up: The Beat My Dog Bracket Contest.

You people, and that includes me, should all be ashamed. Oscar, my genius yellow Lab, finished ahead of most of the field, landing in sixth place. He was the only participant to have Butler in the finals.

So, like I have long maintained, picking the NCAA Tournament is nothing more than a crap shoot. So much so that a dog who has no idea he's making picks can manage to do better than most people.

Second up: Dont'a Hightower

I had a nice chat by phone with the Alabama junior-to-be linebacker on Tuesday afternoon. He's what you might refer to as a "no-nonsense" kind of guy. He's not mean or nasty -- in fact, just the opposite. But he doesn't doddle, either. His answers are quick and concise, as you saw in the story which ran in today's Montgomery Advertiser.

One of my main reasons for talking with Hightower, however, wasn't covered in that story. There seems to be a feeling that the 2010 UA defense won't miss a beat, even after losing 10 starters from a national championship team. While it's true that many of the backups got good playing time last year, it seems absurd to think there won't be some fall off from losing so many quality players. I wanted to ask Hightower about that. His answers, most of which will appear in a story on Friday, were bit different from the fan perspective.

"It's going to be a different defense," Hightower said. "It's not going to be the same."

You can find more from Mr. Hightower on Friday.

Beat My Dog II: Electric Boogaloo

2010-03-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

With Sweet 16 games upon us, let's provide a little update on the Beat My Dog Bracket Tournament of Death. As you know from previous posts, I allowed my dog, Oscar, to pick a bracket in an effort to prove that a dog unwittingly picking teams by chasing toys can do just as well in these contests as your average human.

So far, so good.

At this point, unlike many of you -- and by "many of you," I mean me -- Oscar still has his championship game participants intact.

In case you were curious, he has Butler and Kentucky playing for the title.

That might seem like an odd matchup, but oddity is a staple of this year's tournament. See: Northern Iowa, Cornell, Washington and St. Mary's.

All of that is the good news for Oscar. The bad news is that five of his Elite Eight teams have been bounced. But hey, if Duke, Butler and Kentucky win their 16 games, he's not in bad shape.

And looking down this Beat My Dog group, some of you should be ashamed. Because I'm pretty sure he won't finish last even if only Kentucky advances.

Told ya a dog could do this.

Beat My Dog: Bracket Up

2010-03-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then, everybody.

We're ready to roll on the Beat My Dog bracket contest. Oscar and I have spent the afternoon going over the bracket with a magnifying glass trying to make sure we weighed all options carefully and didn't miss a stat that might be crucial.

OK, that's not actually true. In reality, Oscar has chased a ball or a rawhide bone so many times that he's now passed out at my feet. Of course, he had no idea what was going on and seemed to be completely confused by the fact that I insisted on throwing two toys at a time. Not so confused that he ever stopped retrieving the toys, however.

The Oscar Bracket, which you will be able to peruse beginning tomorrow morning just after tip-off of the first game, contains some shocking upsets and a few interesting scenarios.

I won't give away the entire bracket here, but I will let you in on a few trends.

First, Oscar, who can be seen to the right practicing his pick making earlier this winter, isn't a big fan of strange or large, lumbering animals. He didn't care for Hoyas or Longhorns or Aggies or Golden Bears. Also, not a big fan of people with firearms, as he gave a quick boot to Cowboys, Musketeers and Volunteers.

Strangely enough, though, he holds no cat -- or cat family -- grudge. Wildcats and Tigers did just fine. He also seemed to be OK with most birds and insects, and for some reason he really liked teams that have a color for a mascot. And, as you might imagine, dogs did very, very well with him -- except for the Hoyas, which I can only assume confused him.

So, join up and see if you can Beat My Dog. Go to ESPN's bracket challenge, fill out your bracket and enter the group: BeatMyDog.

Beat My Dog

2010-03-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello, again.

Aight, it's time to Beat My Dog.

As you might have read on an earlier post, the Beat My Dog contest is a simple, yet genius, creation designed to make us all look incredibly stupid.

Basic Concept
My dog, Oscar, will be picking an NCAA Tournament bracket. Now, I know you're thinking that I must have one smart dog on my hands here. Not really. In fact, just this morning he went running headlong into the wooden fence surrounding our yard for an as-yet-undetermined reason.

How this works is I picked two of his toys, designated one as the higher seed and the other as the lower seed, and chunked them both. Whichever one he picked up and brought back, that was his pick. (Full disclosure: I said in an earlier post that we would be using tennis balls, but I discovered rather quickly that he can fit two of those in his mouth at the same time. And since I don't think there will be 32 ties on Thursday and Friday, we moved to Plan B.)

We worked straight down the line, beginning in the Midwest region. I gave Oscar all the No. 1 seeds through the second round games, meaning Duke, Kansas, Kentucky and Syracuse were automatically in the Sweet 16. But other than that, everything else was fair game. We made it almost all the way through the first two rounds this morning before he lost interest in chasing the toys. But I will say that he seems to be a fan of the underdog -- shocking, I know.

I'll post his full bracket later this afternoon. Until then, I have created a group in the ESPN Tournament Challenge. Group name: BeatMyDog. It's a pubic group, so there should be no password issues. Join up and see how you do. I'll also post my bracket in there, so I too can lose to a dog.

Pickin' and Grinin'

2010-03-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

Hello again, boys and girls.

I'm not going to apologize for the delay between posts, because let's be honest, I think we all know it will be insincere. I got busy doing other things, like writing for the daily paper or traveling to Tuscaloosa, and I didn't post. Such is life.

But I'm back now with a little treat: B--B--B--B--rackets.

That's right, I have all your NCAA Tournament goodness here. I'll show you mine, you can show me yours (your brackets -- I'm talking about brackets here). I'll give you my upset and winners and you can do what you always do -- lurk in the darkness until I'm wrong, then point and laugh.

Also, just a quick update: Tomorrow morning, I will open up the annual Beat My Dog bracket contest. If you're unfamiliar, which you should be since I haven't done before, you'll be competing against my dog, Oscar. He's a yellow lab. He will chose teams by selecting one of two tennis balls. For example, one tennis ball will represent Murray State, one will rep Vandy. I'll throw 'em both. Whichever one he picks up and brings back, that's his choice. That's tomorrow ... or later today.

Now for the bracket. I'll break it down by region. I'll give you my first round upsets, my four advancing to the Sweet 16, my region final participants and each of the Final Four. Make sure you copy all of this. I'm sure it'll go exactly as I predict.

MIDWEST

Upsets: Houston, Georgia Tech

Sweet 16: Kansas, Georgetown, Houston, Ohio State

Region Finals: Kansas v. Georgetown

Final Four: Kansas

SOUTH

Upsets: Louisville, Utah State, Siena

Sweet 16: Louisville, Siena, Baylor, Villanova

Region Finals: Louisville v. Baylor

Final Four: Baylor

EAST

Upsets: Missouri

Sweet 16: Kentucky, Wisconsin, Marquette, West Virginia

Region Finals: Kentucky v. West Virginia

Final Four: Kentucky

WEST

Upsets: Florida State, Murray State

Sweet 16: Syracuse, Butler, Pittsburgh, Kansas State

Region Finals: Syracuse v. Pittsburgh

Final Four: Pittsburgh

FINALS

Kentucky def. Kansas

Phan Male

2010-03-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

Hello again, boys and girls.

We have a special treat for you this evening. Actually, it's more a treat for me, but hey, at least one of us is happy. I'm bringing back one of my all-time favorite columns -- Reader Mail.

Basically, in the Reader Mail column, I respond to the lovely letters and notes I receive each week. I answer questions (primarily concerning the whereabouts of my head in relation to my backside), offer tips (usually spelling, although we have given out medical advice a few times) and generally just converse with the loyal readers (and by "loyal," I mean guys who read once and write bad things).

So, here we go.

Barrett, a recent Ole Miss grad, from Montgomery

As a native of Montgomery and a recent graduate of Ole Miss, I am quite disappointed with your juvenile, baseless, and thoughtless attack on my alma mater for seemingly no reason other than to make your weekly word count.

Answer: First, congrats on the recent degree. I'm sure one from Ole Miss is almost as good as one from a real school. (I'm joking. It's a fine institution.)
As for the complaint, I'll give you juvenile. It's what I do. But "baseless" and "thoughtless"? Your mascot is going to be a pop-eyed crawfish. That's base. And I recounted Orgeron and the KKK. That's thought.

Caroline, a current Ole Miss student, from Montgomery

A recent column by Josh Moon run March 1 in regard to Ole Miss’ mascot selection contained numerous fallacies.
As a lifetime Montgomery native and current Ole Miss student, I can say firsthand that it is not up for serious contemplation. Moon also wrote that “that the students reportedly want it to happen is enough.” The Daily Mississippian, the student newspaper of Ole Miss, clearly stated in a direct quote from the group’s founders that its creation was a joke. Admiral Ackbar is not a viable candidate for mascot, and will not be. The students are backing it for a laugh, but are not behind it as a real mascot.
I was disappointed to see such an error-riddled argument run in the Advertiser. I would expect any columnist to research the situation first, and to leave irrelevant information (the KKK, how ‘pompous’ the students are) out of it.

Answer: Here's a tip: When you use terms such as "numerous fallacies" and "error-riddled," you sort of lead people to believe that you have found more than one fallacy or error. So, when you then spend three paragraphs detailing the one error you believe you've found and never offer a second, you confuse people.
And it's especially confusing when even your one complaint makes no sense. I don't care why Admiral Ackbar is winning. I don't care who started it. I don't care why they started it. I don't care that he'll never be the official mascot. I thought I made that clear by stating in the column that "I don't care ..."
What I do care about is an SEC institution acting as if it belongs in C-USA.

Glenna, a Miss. St. grad, from Prattville

I don't normally read your column, and now that I've read your views in Monday's edition, I won't read it again.
How sad that you think the whole world revolves around sports teams from AL. You can have Ole Miss and their new mascot. But why drag Miss State into the mix? What did we ever do to you? Oh wait - maybe it's because Miss State has the chance to be the next SEC basketball champions!

Answer: Look at Glenna -- comes out of MSU and still knows how to use e-mail and the Internet. Good for you.
To answer your question, MSU forced me to ride through a barren countryside to watch bad football as thousands of cowbells clanged. And while the whole world doesn't revolve around teams from Alabama, the world of college football certainly revolved around one team from Alabama this year.
I look forward to hearing from you next week.

Leonard from Part Unknown

All right suck it up already and be a man not another sore American loser. The loss to the Canadian women in Olympic Hockey was another typical American response, can’t beat them so fabricate some dirt to show your discontent. If you can’t play the game then why enter to become a loser, the last thing we need to hear is your whining.

Answer: Enjoy that hockey medal. We'll enjoy the medals from all the other sports.

Ken in Nashville

Great article about kicking Ole Miss out of the SEC. Very Objective. I’m glad to know that there is still credible journalism out there. For a while there, I was worried that newspapers would just let anyone with a typewriter and an opinion (dumb or not) write articles- especially the Montgomery Adviser. I’m surprised that the Montgomery Adviser can afford a writer as well-written as you. You are obviously on your way up the “newspaper corporate ladder.” In no time I expect to see your comments, blogs, and editorials in the Crenshaw Gazzette or Dale Daily Journal. I see big things for you as a journalist. Keep sharing your opinion. Most people are too smart not to do so. Not you my friend. You are on your way up. The 34 people that read your article/paper should really know how lucky they are.

Answer: This, boys and girls, is how you write a scathing response. Note the sarcasm, the backhanded digs and the subtle humor. This is writing a nasty letter while also maintaining perspective. Well done, Ken. Although, the Dale Daily Journal is still a bit out of reach at this point.

That's all for this edition.

Christmas in March

2010-03-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, hello, boys and girls.

When I rolled out of bed this morning, something told me that it was going to be a special day. And you know, something was right.

Around lunchtime, it was announced that the Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will be coming to town to participate in an extra large BINGO! rally this weekend.

Are those Christmas bells I hear?

What an unbelievable gift this is. Sharpton and Jackson in town at the same time and at a rally where people are already half crazy. If you're quiet, you can almost hear the choirs singing.

Now, don't misinterpret what I'm saying here. I'm not a big fan of Al or Jesse. I don't think they'll shed new light on the issue or bring any real value to the debate. But they will bring a boatload of CRA-ZEE. And boy, do I love crazy.

This thing will be on CNN, Fox News -- heck, MSNBC might even cut into one of its weekend episodes of "To Catch A Predator" to cover this baby. It'll be stupendous, tremendous and outrageous.

I can't wait.

photo cred: Chuma Spirit Magazine

And We're Back

2010-02-23T22:41:00.000-08:00

Well, helloooooo, boys and girls.

Apologies, again, for the long absence. I have an excuse that you will not care about -- computer issues. For some reason, I can't sign into any google application without significant issues. Quite a problem, since like many people, life now runs through the Google. So, I've made an end run here, and it seems to be going OK so far.

Let's make some noise ... bullet style. (Basically, that means I can't focus very well.)

Idol Recap: "American Idol" went live tonight -- or last night, I guess. The ladies went first and Ellen Degeneres made her debut. It was clunky all the way around. The girls seemed nervous, which is understandable, and Ellen and the other judges spent most of the night feeling each other out, which also is understandable. From that group, based on just those performances, I saw two potential winners: Lily, the girl with platinum hair, and Crystal, the girl with dreads who has undergone significant dental work since Hollywood week. There were a few borderline good performances, and some dreadful performances from girls who were good in previous shows. By the end of the night, two things were clear: First, the relationship between Ellen and the other judges, and Ellen and the contestants, will change dramatically over the course of the season, and second, whoever gave the green light to Haeley Vaughn (right) should immediately be fired.

Chuck E. Cheese Deathmatch: The kiddie playland has gone mad. Last weekend in Memphis, police responded to an all-out brawl. Four people were arrested after an altercation began over customers taking too long at a photo booth. When a female patron in line asked, "Dang, how long y'all gonna be?", things got ugly. A gentlemen with the family in the photo booth answered her question by allegedly "punching her in the face." (You can find all the particulars here.) But here's the best part: It doesn't stop with just the Memphis trouble. Violence at Chuck E. Cheese restaurants is a growing trend, apparently. From Tennessee to Wisconsin to Ohio, throwdowns at Chuck's are becoming commonplace. Here's a story from the Wall Street Journal that details the unbelievable number of fights at these places. And here's one more, which happens to contain my favorite incident: "At the Manheim Twp. restaurant in Lancaster County, a man was arrested March 20 after police said he ran around the restaurant spitting and yelling he had hepatitis C."

Auburn Football Raises: In case you missed it, Auburn has handed out raises to head football coach Gene Chizik and his staff. Most of the assistants and the head coach received a modest bump. Offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn got big boost. (Jay G. Tate has all of the particulars in easy-to-follow form over The Habotn.) I don't get the need for this. The team seemed to be a little better than expected last season, but it wasn't great by any stretch. In fact, by recent standards, the 8-5 finish was rather subpar. Recruiting went well, granted. And the future certainly seems brighter. But isn't that what these guys were hired to do? I mean, I can see giving some bumps if the Tigers suddenly went 11-2 and other colleges were beating down the door trying to hire these coaches away. But that didn't happen and only one guy -- Malzahn -- has received any notable interest. It reminds me of the Chris Rock joke about not getting a cookie for (stuff) you're "supposed to do." This bunch was supposed to field a mediocre team. It was supposed to do well recruiting. So, why the cookies?

Killing Me Softly: I found out today that I'm being killed by yet another chemical that's been arbitrarily placed in my food. This time, it's something called BPA, otherwise known as Bisphenol A. It's a chemical found in the linings of most food cans and drink cans, and scientists have now linked it to reproductive issues and cancer. It has already been eliminated from almost all baby products (i.e. bottles) and more and more food producers are seeking ways to get it away from their products. The problem: It's in EVERYTHING. Here's a Washington Post story about the efforts to get rid of BPA. You'll notice this quote in the story: "We don't have a safe, effective alternative ..." (a source said). You know what that means? It means that what we have now ISN'T safe or effective. Fantastic.

That's all for now. I'll try to be back tomorrow with more great news ... if the Google works.

photo cred: Fox (Vaughn), Arlington Cardinal (Chuck's)

Carver-Valley II

2010-02-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

Sorry for the long, long absence. I was prevented from posting last week due to a company-wide furlough and I've been a bit busy early this week with the Central Regional basketball coverage. I would've have posted from that fine event, as I'm doing now, but the combination of ASU's wireless and my wireless card prevented me from staying connected to the Interwebs for more than 30 seconds at a time.

Anyway, I'm here now. There is a fine Carver-BTW girls game happening in front of me. I'm supposed to be covering it, but that assignment has been altered, thanks to a 38-7 halftime advantage held by the Lady Wolverines. We've now switched into feature/preview mode for Carver's Regional finals matchup on Friday with either Selma or Beauregard. (Not that you care about any of this, of course.)

My primary assignment today will be the production of a column from the Carver-Valley boys game. You might recall that these two teams played last year -- portions of the game were broadcast on CNN, ESPN, Fox News and the BBC. It was memorable, of course, for the massive brawl that erupted between the two teams and among fans in the stands. It lasted for quite some time and was rather ugly.

Both teams were booted from the playoffs and forced into various "sportsmanship" seminars, and they say they're better people and better students and that they understand what went wrong and what led to the problems. And you know what, good for them. And good for the people who kept pushing them along.

I honestly expect nothing to happen this afternoon -- just a game. But I didn't expect one of the players to roll up to KFC after a loss a week ago and show a handgun to the Selma players. So, we shall see.

photo cred: al.com

Bingo Reed-o!

2010-02-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

We have a couple of court decisions to speak about this evening -- Bingo and Joe Reed. I'm sure you've probably heard of the first, maybe not the second. And if you have heard of the second, you likely don't know the behind-the-scenes facts.

Let's go with bingo first

I don't get why we continue to have a debate over "bingo." It's gambling. It's no different than blackjack, poker or slots. You pay a little money to play a game in which you can win more money. That's gambling. Sorry, but it is.

Now, none of this is a knock against gambling, because I truly don't care. Gamble, don't gamble -- it's up to you. It's a vice. People have them. I used to smoke a pack a day before I found this wonderful drug called Chantix that eliminated that nasty little habit (this is not an official endorsement of Chantix, just sayin' it worked for me). Anyway, smoking was my problem. And it was up to me to fix that problem, or at least manage it.

My only issue with gambling is how it affects me. When it comes to smoking or drinking, we have built in taxes on those items that help to offset some of the health care costs those products create. With gambling, since it isn't legal in most counties in this state, we're not getting enough tax revenue to cover the problems caused by the gambling -- both legal and illegal -- occurring within the state and the problems caused by those traveling out of state to gamble. And that jerks money away from me and away from everyone else in this state. That doesn't make me happy.

On to Reed

As you may know, Dr. Reed, former ASU board member, leader of the Democratic party in the state and legal somethingorother for AEA, sued the ASU board last year for age descrimination after he was forced to resign his seat once he turned 70. On Thursday, a federal judge ruled against Reed and his VERY LONG tenure on the ASU board is over -- maybe.

But here's the funny part: The bylaw in the ASU handbook which Reed was contesting ... he wrote it. Or at least, he helped to write it. And he was certainly in favor of it back in the day. You know, well before he was 70.

Anyway, it's the end of a very long run for Reed. He did a lot of good for ASU.

Unfortunately, his final years were pitiful. He fought like crazy to fire former head coach L.C. Cole, and then played at least a small role in the continued effort to ruin Cole ... for no reason other than Cole refused to be pushed out quietly. In the end, it's fitting that the Cole/NCAA fiasco ended up costing Reed his power on the board and his name on the Acadome. And make no mistake about it, it was the uproar and fan outcry during and following that whole charade that led to real pressure on the governor to appoint non-Reed guys to the board. And Reed's reign slowly came to an end.

photo cred: AP (Riley), Mobile Press-Register (Reed)

Athletics Decisions in 30 Minutes or Less

2010-02-02T14:00:00.000-08:00

Hello there, good peoples.

Funny story. Not really related to anything around here.

On March 8, the University of Michigan wil introduce David Brandon as the school's new athletic director. Brandon is not a former player or coach. He didn't rise through the athletic department ranks at any school. In fact, he almost no athletics-related experience in his professional background.

Instead, since 1999, he served as the CEO of Domino's Pizza.

Sound a little strange? Well, apparently, hiring good businessmen -- and not necessarily a former jock -- is a growing trend in big-budget athletic departments. The New York Times did a nice piece on it yesterday. You can find it here Businessmen ADs.

The interesting part of this to me, however, isn't so much that Michigan is hiring a guy with no sports experience. It's that the school is hiring this guy.

In case you haven't noticed, Domino's isn't exactly setting the world on fire these days. Just recently, with sales lagging, the company essentially admitted that it was producing a terrible product. New Domino's commercials tell you that the company has replaced the cheese, improved the crust and gone with a new sauce.

That's like Ford coming out and saying, Listen, we've been having a little trouble lately and we think that maybe it's because our car isn't so good. So, to improve, we're going to change the engine, body and wheels.

So, good luck with that, Michigan.

Kobe, Lebron and a Whole Buncha Morons

2010-02-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

You might have heard by now that Gilbert Arenas has made it impossible for anyone in the NBA to reference guns in any way. Apparently, though, that message didn't get passed along in time to stop a Nike ad featuring Lebron James and Kobe Bryant (otherwise known as the two best players in the league, with all due apologies to Kevin Durant).

In the print ad, which has been pulled wherever it could be pulled, Kobe and Lebron (I use their first names because I'm hip like that) are pictured in black-and-white photos, looking imposing. The tag line is "Prepare for Combat," as you'll note from Lebron's portion of the ad pictured to the right.

On the now-pulled ad featuring Bryant, there is a quote from Bryant in which he says he "leaves nothing in the chamber."

So offensive and insensitive given the recent events ... of one moron taking four guns into a locker room.

There are people seriously upset by this. So much so that Kobe has issued an apology for the ad's insensitive message. And now Lebron is being criticized for "not getting it," because he came to Kobe's defense and in the process acted like a sane individual.

"That has nothing, zero, to do with guns, ESPN reported James said, raising his voice at reporters. At all. At all. Zero. That's very simple. For somebody to even say that -- that's a basketball term. To try to highlight Kobe and say that he was referencing guns is totally ridiculous. We say a lot of things as basketball players that make a reference to guns and violence, but it's really not guns and violence."

I'll say something you won't often hear: The angry professional athlete is correct.

Do we now have to find other terms to describe what players are doing when they use their arms to physically propel a basketball towards a basket? Because I gotta tell ya, it's going to be pretty weird not using "shoot," "shot," "launch" or "fire up" anymore.

But hey, what are ya gonna do? Gilbert Arenas has ruined it for all of us. Funny. Eight-one people in this country are killed by a gun every day, but it's Arenas' "joke" that finally pushes us over the edge.

Video of the Week

2010-01-31T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hello, boys and girls.

Below you will find a video (if I do this right) featuring a Michigan high school wrestling official grabbing one of the wrestlers by the throat to stop a confrontation. It's apparently pretty big news up there. The video comes courtesy of the Tecumseh Herald, which posted it to youtube.com.

Couple of key points to remember while watching: The ref involved is a 30-year vet. Also, we don't get to see what prompted him to grab the kid (of course, that's a little like saying we don't know what the photog said to Kanye in the airport).

So, watch and let me know what you think. Did the ref go too far? Might he have a good reason for his actions? Should he have swept the leg? Should the kid have gone to the crane? Lot of different ways to go here -- let me know by posting in the comment section or -- and for some reason this seems to be the method of choice for people -- emailing me at jmoon@gannett.com

Tebow, Herschel and Serena

2010-01-30T23:08:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Earthlings.

I have a couple of things to say about Mr. Tebow, Herschel Walker fighting and the very-G Serena Williams. I know many of you have been sitting at your computers hitting refresh all day on The Moonraker, so away we go.

Tim has no shot

Look, I know Tebow was sick most of the week at the Senior Bowl. I know it was just one week and one meaningless game. And I know it was his first time out of the spread system since Pee Wee ball.

But good Lord was he awful. He threw for just 50 yards, fumbled twice and tossed a couple of passes were just embarrassing. But even worse, everyone got a clear picture of just how slow he is.

Slow throwing. Slow running.

He's projected as a second-round guy, but I think that's waaaaaayyyyyy too high. If his name was Tim Smith, there's no chance he'd even sniff the fourth round. But as it is, we've got people making excuses for him and trying to manufacture a spot for him to play in the NFL.

Unfortunately, there isn't one for a slow guy who can't block.

Herchel Walker's a Bad Man

I hate MMA fighting. Call me a girl, but I just don't enjoy watching some guy take a knee to the noggin. Not my thing.

That said, I do respect the fighters and the training they go through to compete. It's not easy, especially for a 47-year-old.

In case you missed it, former Georgia running back Herschel Walker made his MMA debut Saturday night. He beat the brains outta some guy who can now go back to bagging groceries. (Actually, Walker's opponent was a legit fighter.)

But more impressive was the way he looked doing it. A good 13 years since he last put on pads, Herschel is one ripped up fella.

Holding a Grudge

I can't let the Serena Williams-line judge thing go.

The funny thing here is I couldn't possibly care less about tennis. I'd rather watch Nancy Grace, because there's at least a chance she'll fall down and I'll be entertained briefly. Can't say the same for tennis.

But every now and then -- mainly when ESPN airs one of the 8,023 Opens in professional tennis -- I have to sit through some long segment during "Sportscenter" in which I routinely learn that Serena has won another match/set/game/frame. (I have no idea what happened to Venus. Gone to the same house of irrelevance as Roebuck and that dude who co-hosted "Idol" with Ryan Seacrest the first year, I guess.)

But now, all I can think about when I see this extremely large woman is her threat to shove a ball down that poor lineswoman's throat. And I don't know why I'm so caught up on it.

Maybe it's because she's a woman and displayed such anger. Maybe it was because she was so intimidating to the little Asian lineswoman that day. I don't know.

I just know I don't really like Serena now ... even though I know almost nothing about her.

That's all for now, boys and girls.

photo cred: AP, Reuters

Gambling is a Waste of Money

2010-01-29T12:58:00.000-08:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

If you live out of state or like to roam around having watched no TV news or listened to no radio news, you might not know that Governor Bob Riley's gambling task force thingy (and that's a technical law enforcement term) raided Victoryland in Shorter and Country Crossing in Dothan this morning.

Actually, allow me to rephrase: The task force thingy took a lot of cops and state troopers and stood in the parking lots of the two aforementioned places of business for several hours. Then, everyone went home mad.

If you want the specifics, go here www.montgomeryadvertiser.com and read the reports from our own Scott Johnson, who was fortunate enough to be at Victoryland this morning when the officers began to invade/chitchat quietly in the parking lot. We also have a fine photo gallery and some video. We're all over it, baby.

Anyway, I'm not here to report -- I'll leave that up to the people who have been following this -- or to take a stand, despite what the blog's subject title might lead you to believe. Instead, I'm just here in search of cheap hits and to play this thing aggravatingly down the middle.

Personally, I could care less if we gamble or if we don't gamble. Not a big thing to me. But I do wish we'd stop wasting money trying to figure out what we're going to do. Plus, I'm no expert in law enforcement management, but I have to believe that there were better things for 200 troopers to be doing this morning. Or are we leaving everything up to traffic cams now?

All that said, if we're going to have more of these raids, I plan to find out early and set up a coffee and donut stand in the parking lot.

Barack Obama, Chris Matthews and Courtney Fortson

2010-01-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hello there, Earthlings.

The blog subject title is a bit misleading, but pay no attention to that. The hot names get the lead, but this post is mainly about our own Mr. Fortson, who turned in one of the greatest halves of college basketball in the history of the game on Thursday night. I'll also have a little something on the Matthews-Obama racism thing at the end.

Against Mississippi State in Arkansas, Courtney Fortson, who played his high school ball at Jeff Davis, dumped in 33 second-half points and led the Razorbacks to a come-from-behind win over the Bulldogs, who were leading the West Division coming in. For the game, Fortson had 35 points on 9-of-17 shooting from the field and 14-of-18 from the free throw line.

I'll go ahead now and ask the question that's on your mind: We couldn't use this guy at Auburn/Alabama?

The answer: Yes, you could have. But it would've taken work, and neither the Tide nor Tigers put in the same effort that Arkansas did. The Razorbacks recruited Fortson in high school and never backed away from him, even when grade issues popped up and a trip to junior college became a necessity. As far as I know -- and I asked Fortson about this during his senior year -- only Arkansas, Cincinnatti and Alabama State stayed with him all the way. Maybe there were others, but those were three teams who he felt had a shot and who never backed off.

Of course, we shouldn't overplay this, either. The guy was lighting up the scoreboard last tonight, but he was also suspended for a few games and hasn't exactly been the model teammate at Arkansas. I mean, we're not talking Wall, Bledsoe or Cousins here. But he is a guy Auburn or Alabama could have used. I mean, he wouldn't help Auburn as much as any guy over 6-foot-6 would, but hey, who could?

Anyway, congrats to Mr. Fortson. Nice to see a local guy do well.

Now, for the Matthews-Obama uproar.

This is stupid. In case you don't know what's going down, following last night's State of the Union address, Chris Matthews, who is one of the talking heads for one of the endless number of network news shows that tell us what we should think and why, said he had forgotten during the speech that President Obama was black. Obviously, Matthews, who is a big Obama supporter, apparently meant it as praise -- implying that Obama's presidency has helped some, including Matthews, I guess, take a significant stride forward when it comes to race relations.

Unfortunately, the comment wasn't exactly viewed as a positive by many people.

Several black leaders have criticized Matthews for inadvertently treating being black as if it's some sort of disability. Basically, they say the goal isn't to make anyone forget they're black, it's to eliminate the discrimination that comes because they are.

Two things here.

1. If we're ever going to get to a point in this country where race is truly no big deal, everyone has to stop making every little incident or statement a big deal.

2. White people, please stop trying to tell black people that everything's OK now and the dream has been achieved.

That's all, folks.

phot cred: University of Arkansas, AP

Quick Thoughts

2010-01-27T22:24:00.000-08:00

Hello one more time, humans.

We here at The Moonraker have enjoyed an evening chock full o' entertainment (around various Advertiser-related writing projects, of course). First, we caught the Prez spreading slightly less hope and change than he was a few months ago. Then, we took in a little "American Idol" -- we roll DVR style, thus the order is reverse on our viewership. Finally, we wrapped up the evening with a dose of "Tosh.0" and a late-night "Sportscenter."

Thoughts:

When President Obama speaks, there's like a four-hour period in which you actually believe that things could possibly change. That gives the dudes on Fox News enough time to pick apart his speech and tell you why what he said was borderline communist, and it gives the guys over MSNBC time to dissect it and tell you why what he said was pure, unadulterated genius. It's a shame we'll never again get a truly original thought or feeling from most American voters. I have a feeling that we wouldn't be nearly so angry and hateful in this country if we didn't have these people telling us we should be.
I'm not sure why, but just watching Nancy Pelosi is incredibly annoying. Maybe it's that she seems to be trying waaaayyyy too hard to act natural.
I have no idea how good Ellen will be hosting on Idol, but she'll have to be rather awesome to top Neil Patrick Harris, who filled in as a guest judge on Wednesday's show. Funny, witty, assertive and not annoying. Harris, who is awesome as Barney Stinson (Suit Up!) on "How I Met Your Mother," was equally fantastic at judging. Joe Jonas, on the other hand, could have given the same performance asleep. Not that I'm complaining. I got exactly what I want out of all the Jonas brothers -- quiet.
Daniel Tosh -- and yes, I'm aware that 90 percent of you have no idea who he is and have never watched "Tosh.0" -- is one of the funniest men on TV. If you're easily offended, he's not your guy. But if you like inappropriate jokes and funny/obscene Internet clips, this is your guy. It's on Wednesday nights at 9. (And since it's a Comedy Central production, it's replayed roughly 2,322 times throughout the week.)
Gilbert Arenas is insane. How do you go from a nobody to a $111 million player to an inmate in the span of a few years? Think about what this guy did. He took four guns -- FOUR GUNS -- into the Wizards locker room to play "a joke" on his good pal Javaris Crittenton. The same Javaris Crittenton who Arenas had reportedly threatened to shoot just hours earlier. He took the guns into his workplace and placed them on a chair in front of Crittenton's locker along with a note instructing him to "Pick One." And his two-fold defense is: 1. I was joking, and 2. They weren't loaded ... I think I speak for everyone when I say, Oh, well, not loaded and you were joking, well, by all means, our apologies for making such a big deal about it. Dope.
The NFL's decision to change up the Pro Bowl -- a game that no one has ever cared about -- is one of the dumbest decisions I've ever seen. First, who thought Miami would be a better destination than Hawaii? And who thought playing it a week before the Super Bowl, thus preventing 14 players from the Saints and Colts from playing, would be appealing to anyone? Apparently, the game is returning to its old format next year. But still, what a screwup. The line of players criticizing this year's setup includes pretty much every player involved in the game, every player not involved in the game and both fans who were planning to watch.

2010-01-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

Hello there, fine peoples.

As you may or may not know, I'm a bit of a TV fan. Right now, Kim, who I am related to through marriage, and I watch "American Idol," "House," "Chuck," "24," "Grey's Anatomy," The Office," "How I Met Your Mother," "30 Rock," "Big Love," "Desperate Housewives," "Community," "Tosh.0," "The Soup," "Modern Family," "Scrubs," "Human Target," "The Mentalist," "Medium," "Men of a Certain Age," "Damages" and "The Deep End." And we're waiting patiently on the return of "Lost" next week.

So, yeah, casual fans of TV. Anyway, I say all of that to pass this along: If you'd like to discuss your entertainment options on a given night, I'm your guy. I'll probably have a post or two here or there on TV, because let's be honest, with football season winding down and the NCAA tournament still a while away, we've got time to kill. Might as well kill it with quality entertainment.

So, here's my first such post: A few thoughts on last night's "Idol."

Avril Lavigne is an idiot. I know this because she sat in front of 20 million people last night wearing a hoodie with horns.
There is little doubt that this show is doomed. The judges have very little quality interaction anymore and there seems to be tension all the time. I can't believe I'm going to say it, but it appears as if Paula Abdul was much more important to this show than anyone, including the Fox people, ever imagined. Let this be a lesson: If you have a good thing going, try to keep it going.
Kara Dioguardia might just be the most annoying woman on the planet. It is quite obvious that Simon loathes this lady and that she very quickly annoys everyone around her, Katy Perry included.
Speaking of Ms. Perry, a few minutes in the sun every now and then doesn't hurt anyone.
The Idol people better hope Ellen brings a lot to the table, because so far, this baby is sinking fast.
By the way, if you'd like to know who's in the Top 24 this season, ask in the comments or shoot me an email at jmoon@gannett.com and I'll pass the names along. Two of the contestants from last night's show are in.

That's all for now, boys and girls. I'll have another round of Senior Bowl notes this afternoon. Until then, be smart.

Obvious Questions

2010-01-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

Hello again, boys and girls. I'm back with what will be a regular feature here: Obvious Questions.

Allow me to explain the premise. In life, we (and by "we," I mean us sane, rational people) routinely run across things that leave us scratching our heads. Whether it be some ridiculous sports rule or an absurd business practice, we're confounded by the stupidity of others and left wondering about it for hours.

In this spot, probably once or twice a week, I will address some of those questions and I encourage you to use the comment section or my email (jmoon@gannett.com) to work through the issues bombarding you. They need not be sports related, of course.

With that in mind, I come to you with a question that has been bugging me for a couple of days now.

On Friday evening, I stopped by a local retail outlet --we'll refer to it as Mal Wart -- to pick up a few items. As I'm waiting for the cashier to scan my items and charge me at least $100, because there's simply no way you can walk out the door at Mal Wart for less than $100, I think I notice that one item has been mistakenly scanned twice. I bring this up to the cashier and point out the mistake on the receipt.

Now, here's where they lose me. In response to this, the cashier says she'll have to get the manager to conduct a "key turn," meaning that in order to open the register and refund me my cash, she'll need to have a manager insert a key into the register and open the cash drawer for her.

Think about this for a moment.

Over the course of a seven hour and 55 minute day (can't work eight hours because that would put a Mal Wart employee at fulltime, forcing the struggling company to dole out health insurance to the greedy workers), that cash drawer has to open 100 times in order for the cashier to get change for customers. Why does it suddenly require a "key turn" to open that same drawer in order to give me back the money you just mistakenly charged me? It makes no sense.

There's no way that a cashier, even if he or she happened to be the biggest crook in town, could make more than a four or five bucks a week scamming the company this way. Which is probably the same amount of cash that person could make if they just took a little extra out of the drawer while giving change. I don't get it.

But hey, just for reading along and enjoying, I give you the website, www.peopleofwalmart.com. Have fun.

Post No. 1

2010-01-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

Hello there, boys and girls.

Welcome into The Moonraker blog. You're here for the inaugural post on what is sure to be a very happening, very informative blog. After several months without a blog, I, Josh Moon, am back by demand. (It wasn't so much popular demand as it was boss demand.)

So, what can you expect from this little goldmine on the world wide interwebs?

That's a tough question to answer with specifics, other than to say we likely won't discuss the James Bond series' 1979 Roger Moore flop, "Moonraker," very often after today.

Obviously, we'll be slanted more towards sports here, but that won't be all we talk about here. I guess maybe the best way to describe what you'll find here is an adult conversation. Now, "adult" doesn't mean we're going to be discussing porn. It means we'll discuss things that might come up in a standard conversation among real people -- TV, sports, music, movies, politics, etc. Again, it'll be primarily sports, but we won't be limiting the conversation.

And with that, away we go ...

As you will undoubtedly note, I have a column in Sunday's edition of the Montgomery Advertiser. It covered a variety of topics, including that putz Lane Kiffin, Jeff Lebo and West Georgia's NCAA troubles. Should you have any comments or questions, please feel free to post them up here or shoot me an email at jmoon@gannett.com.