The More, The Messier

Mattress Discounters Is Going To Hate Me

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 02:22:00 +0000

After 15 years, I decided that it was time to get a new mattress. Queen size instead of king, so I could rearrange the bedroom. And I could manage to make the bed without walking my short self to one side of the bed and then the other no less than 3 times. Also, I was eyeing an honest-to-goodness real bedframe at IKEA, with a head board and a footboard, so the room would actually look furnished.

A woman can dream, can't she?

So what I have now is a brand new queen-sized mattress lying on the floor of my bedroom, flanked by 2 nightstands I bought for 25 dollars at a thrift store 18 years ago. It wasn't easy to get to this point, people. I had to go to the mattress store and try out the different beds, with 3 children in tow. I had to get over sticker shock. (1000 dollars? Really?)

And finally, today, the guys were coming to pick up the old mattress and box springs and deliver the new. Which meant that I had to shovel out all the crap that has been accumulating in my bedroom since 2007. I can't even blame Larry, since he doesn't happen to be the person in this marriage who has half-finished projects and abandoned crafting supplies piled up in every available corner.

Look, it was an awful day. By the end, I managed to clear out the main bedroom area by piling everything else into the (no longer) walk-in closet AND completely blocking the entrance thereof. Also? There are now boxes of photos in the master bathroom.

On the plus side, I finally got around to moving Larry's dresser into the little alcove across from the master bath. That dresser creeps me out because it makes weird sounds on cold nights. And it's ugly.

So! Larry gets home (late) tonight. I'm lying in our freshly made-up bed (on the floor), testing it out. He lies down, too. "What do you think?" I ask.

"It's too soft."

I'll give him credit - he looked nervous when he said it.

But the worst part? He's right.

Who Needs Paris?

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:37:00 +0000

Everyone's asleep but me. Oh, blessed quiet!

My Rachel attends art lessons taught by a woman who is the German grandmotherly type. "I try not to chastise the children too much," she told me in her Teutonic accent the first day of class. Oh, chastise away, m'lady; no reason that I should have to be the only one to do that.

So I take Rachel and her friend to art class each week (leaving Brian to play with the friend's brothers); and then, for 2 hours, I do errands (library, Target, post office) with Susie in tow.

I don't know whether I have ever touched on this subject, but Susie has the almost supernatural ability to produce continuous sound. Her voice resonates beautifully and is quite pleasant to listen to, but still...she talks and sings NON-STOP. 2 hours, every Tuesday, she has me all to herself and she is vocalizing the entire time. It's impressive.

And then, a couple of weeks ago, the art teacher said, "You know, a space has opened up in this class. I think Susie's old enough to try it."

People, I didn't ask, "How much?" I didn't say, "Gee, let me think about it" or even "Let me talk to Susie." Before you could say "oil-based pastels," I had Susie sitting in front of a box of paints and I was heading back out to my car.

Full-body bliss -- that is the feeling that descended upon me as I sat in my unexpectedly quiet car. It was as if every muscle - nay, every last fiber - of my being unclenched itself as I sank into that blessed silence. 2 hours later, I returned to the art studio a changed woman - restored, refreshed, transcendent.

That feeling, of course, lasted not 5 minutes once everyone was back in the car...but, you know, that's okay. Now I can handle the bickering and the singing and the whining for food.

Because I'll always have Tuesdays.

[Paint palette image: Ithan Elementary School]

Was Davy Jones The Justin Bieber Of The 1960's?

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 01:00:00 +0000

Does anyone else see the resemblance? Maybe it's just the eyebrows...

RIP, buddy. And thanks for making Marcia Brady happy...

Not Too Well, Actually....Yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 03:31:00 +0000

26% alcohol - I should drink it

Well, we've gotten into a nice sort of routine here. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I torture Rachel by making her stand in the tub and cover her eyes while I pour Listerine over her hair. She screams. That's fun. Then she sits around in a shower cap for 2 hours until we wash it out. After that, I go through her hair looking for nits. That evening, I apply Cetaphil cleanser to her entire scalp and every shaft of her hair and then I blow dry it in. Also? We strip her bed and throw all her blankets and her coat in the dryer on high heat. 3 days a week, we do this.

So today she says, "My head itches." I SEE NOTHING ON HER HEAD. No tiny black dots that are newly hatched lice, no bigger lice (gah), no eggs.

I have mentioned my bug phobia, haven't I?

my secret weapon against head lice

Lord help me, I am going insane. Friday, we will roll out of bed and start all over again. Someday I may be released from this veritable Purgatory of invisible bugs. Someday...

Oh, and every day I go through my own lovely tresses with the hair straightener. I figure, if I've picked anything up from Rachel, that heat has got to kill it. Right? Tell me I'm right.

But don't worry - it's not like I have a serious work deadline this week that has required my staying up past midnight to edit documents until I see double. Nope. Not at all. And no one needs to eat around here either. Not one bit.

[Listerine image: wekenshop]
[Hair straightener image: Best Chi Shop]

Not Crazy Yet, But Darn Close

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 02:19:00 +0000

Just popping in to announce that someone named Denise (who posted as Anonymous) has won the prize for correctly identifying the source of the Cling Peaches post title. Edith Bunker, in one memorable episode of All in the Family, regaled Archie AT LENGTH with the story of how she messed up the car in the grocery store parking lot, and Cling Peaches in Heavy Syrup played a big part in that. Halfway through, Archie threatened Edith with I-don't-know-what if she uttered the words "cling peaches" again. So she resorted to saying "hmmm....hmm...hmm" instead.

Look, it's what passed for humor in the 1970's. What can I tell you? We didn't have Seinfeld yet.

So, Denise, if you are reading this, please email me your info. If I don't hear from you, Kayla will win instead. She's the only other person who knew what I was talking about.

This person had no sense of humor.

As for the second Anonymous who commented on my pre-Oscar post by saying, "Are you being silly? If you read a newspaper or Internet you would have heard of ALL the movies and basically the plot from beginning to end. I have not seen any of them but I of course know every single actor...the George Clooney thing makes no sense..you know he is with stacey Keebler who was on Dancing with The Stars? " -- I want her to know that her comment made me flash back to that scene in Annie Hall where Alvie Singer is at the beach house with his post-Annie girlfriend and she is watching him chase lobsters all over the kitchen and saying, "Are you being funny? I mean, you're kidding, aren't you? I don't get it."

Apparently, Anonymous doesn't hang out here much, or she would have read this post and realized that, no, I wasn't kidding. Not one bit...

Just realized my post title makes no sense unless you understand that I'm still chasing down those darn head lice. Gah. More tomorrow....

[Edith Bunker image: Zap2It]
[Not Annie image: EveryWoodyAllenMovie]

Cling Peaches

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:20:00 +0000

Let's not talk about...you-know-what...today. I don't want Amy to leave me. And I'm tired of the whole subject of....hmm-hmmm....anyway.

I've been invited to an Oscar-watching party, and I've only seen one of the movies this year (The Descendants). Since I don't have time to view everything I missed on DVD (that silly job thing getting in the way of my life, AGAIN), I need your help in filling out my ballot correctly. The hostess is handing out prizes! So tell me - what/who should win...

BEST PICTURE

The Artist
Never heard of it

The Descendants
Larry will NOT forgive me for choosing to see this movie instead of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Spy.

Extremely Loud...
I am not seeing any movie that says it is extremely loud...I need some peace and quiet.

The Help
I overheard a book club discuss the book once - does that count?

Why are his arms like that, anyway?

Hugo
Never heard of this one, either...

Midnight in Paris
I cannot BELIEVE I have not seen this yet - I may have to watch it this weekend.

Moneyball
I heard this was good, but...baseball? How interesting could that be?

The Tree of Life
That's the weird one, right?

War Horse
I HATE horse stories. I'm not voting for this one, even if all of you tell me to.

LEADING ACTOR

Demian Bichir
Who?

George Clooney
I had no idea who this was until I started blogging. True story.

Jean Dujardin
Sounds French...

Gary Oldman
This guy is famous for something, right?

Brad Pitt
I still think "Thelma and Louise" when I see this name. I assume he's done other movies, right?

LEADING ACTRESS

Glenn Close
What? She was in a movie last year? Which one?

This is just how I would look if I owned a coffee plantation.

Viola Davis
Really? That sounds like what a character playing an actress in a movie would be named.

Rooney Mara
Who?

Meryl Streep
Okay, I know this one. I'm not THAT far gone. Although my reference point is Out of Africa...

Michelle Williams
Again, who?

Thanks for any help you can give me. And for the whole 15 minutes I was writing this, I didn't think about...hmm-hmmm...even once. That felt good.

By the way, the first commenter to figure out the reason behind the title of this post wins a Starbucks gift card. (With any luck, I'll even remember to mail it.) I'm warning you, though - you might not be able to figure out the meaning unless you are one of us middle-aged people who grew up with only 3 networks' worth of programming to choose from.

[Oscar image: Current Movie Reviews]
[Meryl Streep: Blaubushka]

Bald Is Looking Better And Better

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 04:18:00 +0000

I had vivid dreams last night that I was pulling head lice out of my best friend's hair. Yup, my head lice PTSD is in full swing. Might explain why I spent my day vacuuming the couch and yelling at Rachel if she went near any upholstered furniture other than her assigned armchair. Also? I tried to convince her that she would look really cute with a shaved head.

Don't worry - she didn't buy it. She's smart, that one.

Can we talk about something else? Anything? I'm thinking I should rent myself the first season of Downton Abbey and watch it, just to take my mind off things. After I vacuum the family room again, that is...

Nope. Not Funny.

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 03:33:00 +0000

There's no funny here tonight. Rachel, as it turns out, did indeed catch head lice from her friend, and I've been dealing with that for the past 3 days. There is this constant silent scream welling up inside my body. You know, at the best of times, I cannot bear looking at bugs. And when those bugs are on my child's head? Well, just magnify the horror effect by 10,000 or so.

Our dryer has not stopped running for 72 hours. Coats, blankets, sheets - you name it, it's gone in there. Also? Stuffed puppies and bunnies. Because the look on Susie's face when we attempted to confiscate all her furry friends for 2 weeks was more than we could bear.

The first night, I found myself sitting up late, running items through the dryer. I kept myself awake by doing the NY Times crossword puzzle online. One definition read something like "vodka, Southern Comfort, amaretto, sloe gin and orange juice." (Answer: Alabama Slammer) And I, a person who has never in her life understood the allure of alcoholic beverages, was seized by the following thought:

"I WANT THAT."

I still do.

[Puppy image: fuhzee.com]
[Alabama Slammer image: Cocktails]

48 Is The New 60

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 02:59:00 +0000

Today, against my better judgment, I allowed a bored cashier at Harris Teeter to convince me to go through her checkout line. I'm a self-checkout kind of gal, usually. I mean, that's just how I roll.

This doesn't seem that funny anymore.

"You gave me too much change," I told the cashier.

"No, it's right. Your charge was $20.58."

"I thought I had to pay $22.09," I persisted.

"No, no, it's Thursday. Senior citizens' discount," she said to my not-gray 48-year-old self, as she turned to help the next customer.

Senior citizens' discount? Really? You know, the self-checkout lane would NEVER have done that to me.

[And the 80-year-old neighbor I had driven to the store? Had to go back to customer service and demand the discount, because her cashier had neglected to give it to her. "Well!" she said, as we finally headed home, one of us completely demoralized. "I guess we know NOW who looks younger."]

[Cartoon: SSR Fanatic]

Here We Go Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:30:00 +0000

I had an awesome Saturday afternoon, all alone in my own house. I cleaned a little, I read a little, I took a nap. Heaven. All because my best friend invited Susie and Rachel over to play with her daughters. And then Saturday night she texted me to say she had just found lice crawling all over her daughter's head.

You know, I didn't want a nap THAT badly.

And, yes, this HAS happened before. In fact, more than once. I blame our stupid local school, with their lack of a no-nits policy and their out-and-out refusal to notify other parents when there is head lice going around the classroom.

I also blame the Obama administration. I pay my taxes. Shouldn't I be able to live a life free of parasitical infestations? We need a little Seal Team 6 action here, Mr. President! Forget those Somali pirates. The real enemy is here at home, lurking on the heads of our school-aged children, threatening to drive their mothers to madness.

Just ask Michelle - I'm thinking she would agree with me on that.

[Obama photo: Delamina]

The Power Of The Blogosphere

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:59:00 +0000

Well! I was planning a blog post in my head all day that was going to urge every one of you to go on over to Momastery and read about the Croyles -- all about how the mom has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and there are 8 children ranging in age from 18 down to baby -- and maybe donate 5 dollars apiece toward sending them on a family beach vacation to remember, complete with a photographer to capture the memories.

[And can I just put in here that I am so impressed with this idea? I mean, as I was reading the post, I was thinking, "Oh, yeah, they need help with meals, they need help with housecleaning, they need babysitters." But Glennon went above and beyond my boring daily-grind perspective and said, "They need FUN!"]

So I was really working on that post. It was funny, too. I was pretty well pleased with myself by the time I sat down at this computer. "I'm helping Glennon," I thought. "I might not be fun like her, and I might not have her imagination; but I can still help." (Have I ever mentioned that, as a young lass, I identified with Velma on Scooby Doo? So, yes, I was planning to be Velma to Glennon's Daphne.)

Turns out I'm too late. Momastery raised 25,000 dollars in less than a day. With no one individual being allowed to donate more than 25 dollars, she still managed to raise 25,000 dollars.

Wow. Let us hope Glennon never chooses to use her powers for evil. Imagine if she decided to encourage everyone to wear those awful bubble shorts...

[I WAS going to paste a picture of Daphne and Velma into this post, but I have unfortunately discovered - via an innocent Google Image search - that there are many, many people who have some very strange fantasies about these 2 cartoon characters. Scooby Doo is now forever ruined for me. Save yourselves - DO NOT try this search at home.]

I've Been To Boot Camp And It Wasn't Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:39:00 +0000

Why is this woman smiling? Beats me.

A certain husband around here has taken to leaving articles up on the computer screen for me to see after he leaves for work in the morning -- articles like this one in the NY Times which extols the virtues of vigorous exercise, likening it to a housecleaning for one's body.

Tell me, is that supposed to encourage me to hop on that exercise bike downstairs? I mean, have I ever given Larry the impression that I LIKE housecleaning? I know we don't communicate that well sometimes, but this is just ridiculous.

Besides, we all know that housecleaning is dangerous. Is he trying to do me in?

Maybe I should check to see just how much insurance that man has on me, anyway.

[exercise image: Mom Corps blog]

RIP, WhyMommy

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:42:00 +0000

The blogosphere is but a diminished version of its former self tonight. Indeed, no blogger is an island but a part of a greater whole. And with WhyMommy gone, we are the less.

Hug your babies and check your breasts, ladies. I'm guessing that's what she would have wanted.

The Giants Will Have To Win Without Me

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:26:00 +0000

I'm older than the Super Bowl. Weird.

No one has invited us to a Super Bowl party. I'm telling you, I have all the wrong friends. What's up with these people? Don't they know we don't have cable; and, even if we did, our circa 2001 TV is miniscule compared to present-day viewing standards?

Maybe they realize that Larry is from New England and I'm from New York and we probably shouldn't be in the same room watching this game.

So everyone else gets to eat nachos and see the fun commercials tonight except me. Fine. I'll just sit home and live-tweet NOT watching the Super Bowl. That should be fascinating.

Outsourcing

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:22:00 +0000

Okay, so last night? We ate homemade spinach lasagna. Yup. With garlic bread and a nice tossed salad. It's not always pizza and ChikFilA around here, you know.

Truth to tell, it was David who made the lasagna. And the garlic bread. But I was the one who bought all the ingredients. AND I had to find the scissors so that I could cut open the bag of salad.

Take THAT, Betty Crocker.

[Cookbook image: VeganSoapbox]

Did Someone Say Pizza?

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:37:00 +0000

Today was a good day. Why? Because I found a buy-one-get-one-free pizza coupon in my gmail inbox. Hello, dinner!

Sigh. I used to bake my own bread. And I was smug about it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Then again, considering the 2010 Reuben fiasco, who could possibly blame me?

[pizza image: Vocelli Pizza]

Build A Better Mousetrap Already

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:18:00 +0000

To me, this does not say "cute"

There is a mouse that sounds about the size of a cocker spaniel running in the ceiling above my head. Or, to put it another way, just below the floor of the room where my 2 little girls are sleeping. What happens if it chews its way out? Larry may discover just how loudly I can scream.

Stupid rodent.

And what good is my pest control gigolo if he can't fix this problem, anyway?

Why Jews Shouldn't Go To Church

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:54:00 +0000

I made it to church today with the rest of the family. Sometimes I'm working, sometimes I can't find the dress slacks that fit; but today the stars aligned just right so that I could sit with Larry and the kids and wonder why I hadn't noticed that Susie was wearing athletic socks with her cute little patent leather ballerina flats.

Believe me, Larry NEVER notices stuff like that. Something to do with that y chromosome, I'm thinking...

Anywhoo, I did okay until the second reading. Paul, to the Corinthians. I listened attentively as the lector read aloud:

	The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord;
33	but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife,

And I laughed. Out loud. A literal LOL, people - in a completely quiet sanctuary full of fellow parishioners who apparently weren't raised on Borscht Belt marriage humor.

I mean, that was funny, wasn't it? "How to please his wife..." Ba-da-bum! That Paul! He WAS Jewish, you know...

I spent the next 5 minutes snorting into my scarf, while Larry pretended he didn't know me. I'm betting that next Sunday? He leaves me home.

[Bible image: St. Cuthbert's]

Waffle Fries - Friend Or Foe?

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 04:57:00 +0000

--- 1 ---

Judging from the comments yesterday, I am not the only one who has issues with losing things down sewer gratings. I seem to have hit a nerve. Also, I'm not the first person on earth who has had to replace a cellphone. Who knew?

--- 2 ---

You know you want some...

We ate 2 meals at ChikFilA today. Don't get all judge-y on me. I wasn't about to let some good coupons go to waste.

--- 3 ---

Homemade pizza for lunch, though - with carrots on the side. Does that balance things out?

--- 4 ---

We had a hair conditioner leak today which was reminiscent of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. It is EVERYWHERE. And the entire vanity cabinet reeks of Floral Essence. I blame my teenager. The girl one, that is...

--- 5 ---

Susie, my youngest, has finally learned how to play Dutch Blitz. Glory, hallelujah, I will never have to play another boring card game like War again. And the more we play Dutch Blitz, the more Anna can feel justified in her belief that we practically raised her Amish.

--- 6 ---

Meaning, our 8-year-olds aren't walking around with personal cellphones. And we don't have cable TV. The children are, however, allowed to wear zippers.

--- 7 ---

Jennifer would never take her kids to ChikFilA twice in one day. At least, she'd never admit to it. For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

[Waffle fries image: NCSU Dining]
[Dutch Blitz cards image: Almost Amish]

I'm A Slow Learner

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:25:00 +0000

I've been keeping up with all my favorite blogs every day but not writing here. You all entertain and amuse me, and I'll just sit here.

No, no, that can't be right.

Anywhoo, I spent my time today trying to replace all the contacts in my cellphone. My NEW cellphone. Because the OLD cellphone is lying in a storm drain in a parking lot at our town's shopping center. The storm drain next to what I used to consider the BEST parking space in the whole lot.

Really, I should have known better - I lost a crochet hook down that same storm drain once. I swear, it's like I get out of the car and stand there shaking my purse upside down over the sewer grating. But I don't. I think there is some sort of magnet down there.

Actually, I almost lost my keys down there once, too. You'd think I'd park elsewhere, wouldn't you? But what are the odds? I thought. What are the odds that I would drop something else in that VERY SAME SPOT?

Apparently, the odds were pretty good.

7 Quick Takes: Merit Badge Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:54:00 +0000

--- 1 ---

Larry took the 2 younger boys skiing with the Boy Scouts. That means I'm left here with the girls, all by my grown-up self, to sit up late at night and imagine someone is going to break into the house through the basement. Sometimes I take a break from that and worry that I am going to see a ghost. And there is always the possibility of another bat invasion...

--- 2 ---

This condo is looking better and better.

My point being, I need to be able to move into a tiny 1-bedroom unhaunted condo on the nights that Larry is gone. That would suit me just fine.

--- 3 ---

Larry and I managed to have an argument just before he left. No details need to be repeated here, as it was beyond stupid, as these things tend to be. But, in that light, I vastly enjoyed Barefoot Foodie's little jeu d'esprit today on the subject of marital spats.

--- 4 ---

I don't know what "jeu d'esprit" means, actually.

--- 5 ---

Oh, look! The boys get a merit badge for skiing. I'm thinking that no one gives ME merit badges. I'm pretty sure I've earned a few in the past 2 decades. Let's see...do they have one for nagging the kids? Knitting? Listening to one's spouse talk about work?

--- 6 ---

There! I just taped up the gaps around the edges of the fireplace insert. Take that, bats! And that masking tape sure does look attractive against the white brick fireplace. Maybe I'll snap a photo and start a home decorating blog.

--- 7 ---

Jennifer doesn't lie awake worrying about bats and burglars. She just fears scorpions in her slippers. For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary! In the meantime, I'll be looking up how to get my merit badge for bat infestation prevention.

[floor plan: timeshareorlando]
[skiing image: ecrater]

5-Alarm Onions

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:12:00 +0000

We almost had a major kitchen fire this evening. I blame the distracting powers of the Internet.

Charcoal - it's what's for dinner.

The Family That Camps Together...

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 03:42:00 +0000

Larry and I are currently in negotiations over where to take the family camping this year. Using last year as our experience base, we were able to rule out the following:

1. Any location with a stinkbug infestation

2. Any location which finds it necessary to post this fun kids' video on its website. I don't know about you, but Unexploded Ordinance (UXO, for short) does not spell "fun family hike" to me.

With those 2 requirements settled, we've still got a lot of places left to argue over. Larry prefers out-of-the-way, quiet campgrounds with secluded tent sites where you can sit and relax in peace and quiet while you soak up the goodness of nature. I, on the other hand, only want to camp somewhere that I can drag the children on different hikes or historical tours every single day and then return to a crowded campground to socialize with other people and their kids. Social lodge and fitness room on the premises? Bonus!

You know, if I want to sit and relax, I prefer to do so at home on my comfy couch, not outside in an insect-ridden environment. Why would I drive 4-8 hours with 6 kids in the car to relax, anyway? Sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

7 Quick Takes: Starving Brain Cells Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:22:00 +0000

--- 1 ---

I don't know how long this has been going on, but Blogger changed my comments section so that y'all can reply to each other's comments. I'd always been jealous of the bloggers who had that capability; I thought thtey were in some special club where the secret of comment-replies HTML was handed out. But now this secret is available to the teeming Blogger masses. Check it out! Comment! Reply! Reply again!

--- 2 ---

The little yellow dots decide dinner.

Also, if any of you could let me know whether Blogger notifies you that someone replied to your comment, that would be great. There's probably a way I could figure that out all by myself, but I need those brain cells to decide what's for dinner.

--- 3 ---

One of the bloggers I had been envying for her comment-reply capabilities is Momastery. She's recently become very popular due to a post that went viral on Facebook; but really, I liked her before that. So there. Anyway, you should check her out. She has way more brain cells left than I do.

--- 4 ---

Meatballs - I think we'll do IKEA meatballs for dinner. It's the only dinner where no one cries.

--- 5 ---

Whew! That was difficult. I'm wiped out. Darn Weight Watchers - I think my brain is starving.

--- 6 ---

But, no, really - that half a piece of lasagna I had for lunch along with a heaping bowl of salad was plenty filling. Plenty! I don't want to rip open a bag of Trader Joe's semisweet chocolate chips right now AT ALL. I LOVE eating healthy.

--- 7 ---

Jennifer always eats healthy, unless she's busy pairing white wine and chicken nuggets for a fancy company dinner. For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

[brain cell image: GraphicsHunt]
[IKEA meatball image: aeracura]
[chocolate chips image: make and takes]

I Heard The M&M's Call My Name

noreply@blogger.com (Suburban Correspondent) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:03:00 +0000

You're not hearing much from me because I am nearing the end of my contract year again and, as always, I am way behind. Also? The children keep asking for things like food and clean clothes. Pesky little people, they are...

It refuses to snow here, which is putting all of us in a bad mood. We even hid the Christmas sleds up in the attic (while proclaiming loudly, "I guess we won't be needing these this year!") in a pathetic attempt to trick the weather fates.

And? I'm back to Weight Watchers. Why? Because I kept gaining weight. I'm pretty sure that all the chocolates and cookies that have been infiltrating my abode have something to do with that. Although, as Larry doesn't mind pointing out, I don't HAVE to eat them.

He's wrong. I DO have to eat them. That's precisely the problem. Men don't understand ANYTHING.

I have a pesky cough which I am pretty sure is a sign of something deadly. Please, Lord, don't let me be an overweight corpse. Give me a few months.

Larry won't understand THAT, either. Are men more well-adjusted than women? Discuss.

[Sled image: Sled Warehouse]