The Mum Experiment

Changing, one step at a time

2012-02-20T19:42:00.000+13:00

I aspire to live a better life. To me a better life is one that has minimal impact on our environment, a natural life, a healthy life. I want to eat organic local produce. I want to prevent illnesses. I want to be happy. I want to be frugal and avoid giving my hard earned money to large corporations for items I do not need. I want to avoid chemicals.

There was once a time in my life when I was doing pretty much all these things. I was living in London, I had money and time, no children and it is so easy there. Organic food was readily available near my flat, and there was such easy access to natural products. I was a strict vegetarian, and was very clued up about beauty products and their contents, what was tested on animals and what wasn't.

When I returned to New Zealand, I discovered that it was not quite so easy to live like that here. And the other thing which I think impacted me the most is that no-one I knew in New Zealand lived how I wanted to live. I realised that whilst I was living away from home, I wasn't being influenced by my friends and family, and I was free to live how I wanted without being judged. I realised that it is hard to be the 'odd one out' all the time. It is also quite antisocial if everyone you spend time with aspire to different ideals than you.

I went off track for a while, in regards to the way I want to live.

However, I feel I am getting back on track.

There are a few reasons for this. The main reason is that I am now spending more and more time with like-minded individuals, who inspire me. I am also loving The Natural Parent Magazine Facebook page. Every day other NP/AP mothers (and fathers sometimes) post questions. Through these questions I have discovered all sorts of interesting things. I am now 'poo-free', I am 'pulling oil', I am drinking ACV.

Yes. I know. I am a bit of a weirdo perhaps. But you know what? I am happy. And you know what else? I realised that I can have the life I aspire to have. I don't have to go out and change everything in one go, I can just do it slowly, one step at a time. Life is a journey, not a destination. And I plan to enjoy it.

Olay Regenerist Wrinkle Revolution Complex Review

2012-02-10T22:03:00.001+13:00

Recently I was sent some Olay Regenerist Wrinkle Revolution Complex to try and review.

Generally my routine for my face consists of the following products: Water.

Yes, that is right. I do not use any special cleansers, toners or moisturisers and my skin has never been better. However I have noticed that I am beginning to get a few wrinkles. Which scares the crap out of me to be fair. I am 30 years old, and I do not want to look old.

This product makes the following claims:
See results in an instant. Watch as advanced micro-fillers and light-diffusing particles dramatically reduce the appearance of wrinkles in just one application. And its hydrating formula reduces the appearance of deep lines in just 14 days.

I don't know if I saw results in an 'instant', but there is a definite improvement. I have been using the product for over a month now and my lines are certainly reduced. I actually really like the product.

In regards to the packaging - the bottle is lovely and shiny and the product is dispensed from a push down pump type of thing. The pump SUCKS! It is flimsy, and I can feel that there is product left but you just can't get it out! This needs to be fixed.

I have one other major issue with the product. Olay do animal testing. Yes that is right.

So, what to do? Use it, have less wrinkes, and live with the guilt on my conscience, or do the right thing and stand up for what I believe it?

I think I will be going back to water.

Poo-free update

2012-02-10T21:41:00.001+13:00

It has been over a week now since I ditched my shampoo and conditioner.

I LOVE my hair. I have managed to get over the urge to constantly touch my hair cos it feels so damn good, but I still enjoy looking at it!

My hair is so much softer, and has so much more body. I did have very flat hair before. But now it feels thick and luxurious. It also feels very clean.

I have found the best way for me to apply the baking soda mix is to shake a little bit of baking soda into my palm (maybe a teaspoon full), wet it slightly and then apply this to my scalp. Then I repeat that about four times to ensure my head is covered.

So poo-free = success!

I shall soon endeavour on another small step to become more 'green', chemical free, and self sufficient. I'll keep you posted. Over and out :)

Poo-free day 1

2012-02-04T19:27:00.000+13:00

When I woke this morning I was quite excited about jumping in the shower and getting busy with my BS and ACV!

After wetting my hair I sprinkled about a tablespoon of baking soda into my palm and wet it so it was a runny paste. I applied this to my hair, but it was quite hard to spread it around the scalp and hair so I had to do about 3 lots before I felt like everything had been cleaned. I left it in for a minute or so, and I was feeling quite sceptical.

After rinsing it was time for the ACV. I had a cup in the shower, so I filled this with warm water first before adding the ACV. I then slowly poured this over my hair, only once splashing myself in the eye! I was wondering if I would smell pickled afterwards....

I rinsed out the ACV and I could immediately feel how tangle free my hair felt.

I had to wait until my hair was dry before I could see if it really had worked. And it did! My hair looked and felt really nice, and clean. I didn't smell bad, or of vinegar. My hair feels slightly oily, but not overly so, and it certainly doesn't look oily.

So success. Will keep you posted. I intend to improve my BS application - maybe use a sprayer or squirter bottle.

I am going 'poo-free'

2012-02-03T19:43:00.000+13:00

Okay, for those of you not down with the lingo, that is short for 'shampoo free' and not some kind of constipation issue.

I know a number of people who have been converted lately, so I thought I would give it a go too. I am a bit nervous as I really really like to have clean hair. I am a shampoo every day kind of girl. So this is a BIG deal to me.

Instead of shampoo, you use baking soda and apple cider vinegar (ACV).

You firstly you put a small amount of baking soda (approx 1 tbsp) into your palm and then mix with water to a runny paste. Then apply this to your hair, let it sit for a minute then rinse it off. You can then do an ACV rinse - mix 2 tablespoons with about a cup of water, massage into your scalp and hair and then rinse it off.

And voila - clean hair!

Apparently it can take a couple of weeks for your hair to get used to this new routine, without the harsh shampoo detergents stripping all the natural oils away, and you hair can be a bit oily. This is what I am afraid of. So I have a back up plan. A hat

I believe this will be my friend for the next couple of weeks!

So tomorrow is my first day. Hopefully it will be okay!

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day ?

2012-02-03T19:01:00.000+13:00

Okay, it has been a while since I have blogged. I have been away for a few nights.

This is where we are at:

Still in the first phase. Things are improved, he is sleeping for longer stretches at a time (sometimes 4 hours!) and gets to sleep easily, not on the breast.
At this stage I am not going to move to the next step (no feeding) until he has finished with these molars he is working on. Thats right - I was so busy checking his canine teeth, which have been on the verge of coming through for ages, that I failed to notice he has 2 molars, and is working on about 6! So I just feel to mean depriving him of milk when his mouth is so sore. Therefore we are just going to keep going as we are, and in a couple of weeks I will change to no feeding between 11pm - 5am.

Thats parenting for you - you make these plans, and then things change, you re-evaluate and do something else. I will keep you posted though!

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day 4

2012-01-27T19:56:00.001+13:00

Last night was much improved. I decided that as I was so tired, my main focus was going to be on sleeping, rather than sticking to the night weaning.

So I wasn't pushing the whole fall asleep without the breast thing so much, but I found that he was naturally starting to do that! So I was very pleased. He was sleeping for decent stretches (around 2ish hours) and immediately going back to sleep. So I feel quite rested today.

By now I should be on phase 2 of the night weaning method, but I am going to stay on this first phase for a few more nights, just til I feel we have it mastered!

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day 3

2012-01-26T20:33:00.000+13:00

Last night was a complete and utter disaster.

It started out brilliantly. My little man was sleeping for good stretches (2 - 3 hours at a time) til around midnight. He even got to sleep quickly without feeding himself to sleep once. And then Mr 3 year old starts up, having a very loud dream and wakes us all right up and then promptly falls right back to sleep himself.
But me and the baby? Awake from 1ish to around 5.30am. Yes. thats right. bad night. He just wanted to be awake, and would not lie still,

So I am very tired. And I know what you are thinking, and the answer is No - I have not been operating any heavy machinery in this state.

I don't know how tonight will go. I am so tired I just want to do whatever will get me the most sleep. Quite short-sighted, but I do have to function.

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day 2

2012-01-25T20:35:00.000+13:00

Success (of a kind)!

Last night I stuck to the method, and I ended each feed whilst my son was still awake and then managed to get him to sleep by patting his back. And we did this every time he fed between 11pm and 5am.

So we did successfully stick to the method.

HOWEVER, he only slept for between 15 and 45 minutes between these wakeful periods so then we had to do this process many, many, MANY times during the night. So that was the not so successful part.

I do feel like we are getting somewhere in the process though, so we will keep at it.

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day 1

2012-01-24T20:11:00.001+13:00

Last night was not exactly a success. I fed my little man about 3 times before 11pm. Then after that I was meant to feed, stop whilst he was still awake and then coax him to sleep.

There was a major problem though, he had a sore tummy! So the first feed after 11pm went something like this:

11.15: Stirs, grizzles, so I feed him.
11.18: feeding slows down so I quickly remove breast from his mouth and then pat his back to try to get him back to sleep
11.20: He is crying. He does a big fart and obviously has a sore tummy
11.21: I feel too mean not feeding him, so let him feed for comfort.

Then he basically fed all night long.

Nevermind. We will try again tonight :)

Night Weaning, the Gentle Way. Day 0

2012-01-23T20:35:00.000+13:00

My lovely second child is now 14 months old. He is a happy, and a joy to be around. He loves boob. He likes to breastfeed a LOT. I have always feed on demand (and demand is definitely the right word!) day and night.
However, I have come to the decision that I am ready to attempt to night wean him. My reasons are:

He currently feeds a minimum of 5 times during the night, sometimes more than 10 times
I am really really tired
I am starting to resent the night feeds, and I don't want a 'negative' breastfeeding relationship
I struggle to maintain my weight. I get skinny. I find it hard to eat enough to sustain this many feeds.
On the nights he does decide to feed a little less, I end up with very painful plugged ducts

I have decided to go with the Jay Gordon night-weaning method (full outline here). It is specially designed for older babies (over 1 year), who co-sleep. Tick and Tick.

Basically you pick a 7 hour period during the night that you want to be feed-free. I am actually just going to make this 6 hour, to begin with, as I think that will work best for us. I am going to have 11pm - 5am as our set time with no feeding.

Stage One - The First Three Nights:
"At any time before 11 p.m. (including 10:58) nurse to sleep, cuddle and nurse when he wakes up and nurse him back to sleep, but stop offering nursing to sleep as the solution to waking after 11 p.m.. Instead…..

When your baby awakens at midnight or any other time after 11 p.m., hug him, nurse him for a short time but make sure he does not fall asleep on the breast and put him down awake. Rub and pat and cuddle a little until he falls asleep but don’t put him back on the breast (or give him a bottle if that’s what you’ve been doing). He must fall asleep with your comfort beside him, but not having to nurse to feel comforted enough to drift off.

Now, he will tell you that he is angry and intensely dislikes this new routine. I believe him. He will also try to tell you that he’s scared. I believe he’s angry, but a baby who’s had hundreds of nights in a row of cuddling is not scared of falling asleep with your hand on his back and your voice in his ear. Angry, yes. Scared, no, not really.

During these first three nights, repeat this pattern only after he has slept. He might sleep for fifteen minutes or he might sleep for four hours, but he has to go to sleep and reawaken to get cuddled and fed again."

So, as simple as that! Yeah right. I am very very nervous about attempting this. I really don't like my baby to be upset. It breaks my heart to hear him cry, so I will do what I can to avoid that. I know that for these few nights I will get even more tired. I worry that it won't work. I worry that I am depriving him of his favourite thing in the world. That he will be hungry.

However, despite these fears, I am going to push ahead. I am ready for change.

Wish me luck and I will let you know how we go tomorrow.

The work Christmas Party

2011-12-29T20:37:00.000+13:00

The following blog post is the true story. It may well be the most cringey christmas party story you ever hear (or read about)...

Okay, this isn't actually me - this is Scarlett Johansson.

It was that time of year again - staff Christmas Party time of year. My boyfriend (who I later married) worked for an advertising agency who always put on fancy shindigs at Christmas time. I was looking forward to it - I hadn't met most of his colleagues at this stage so though this would be a good opportunity.

The function was to be held at one of Christchurch's best restaurants at the time (Michaels). It all started out beautifully. I dressed rather demurely, and I was on my best behaviour. I rather nervously met his workmates, had a small glass of wine and we started to eat.

I am not sure exactly when things started going 'off-track'. I think it may have been after the main meal, when the bubbly was brought out. I do remember it was expensive champagne, and I do enjoy expensive champagne. Somehow I managed to polish off most of the bottle on my own, and then ordered two more bottles...
At this stage the CEO's personal assistant asked me to stop drinking and to stop ordering $100 bottles of wine. I made a remark about how she should let her hair down, and them commented that she was actually sporting a rather unfetching mullet hairdo.

The toilets at the restaurant became out of order (this had nothing to do with me) and we had to cross the road and use the toilets at the bar across the street. Whilst I was visiting the ladies room I ran into an old acquaintance, also very drunk. This friend was a lesbian, who really looked like a lesbian, who has always had a crush on me. So she joined us over at the restaurant. I personally have always been used to her advances and never really think anything of it. However all of my boyfriends colleagues seemed to think the fact that I had an over-friendly lesbian hanging off me was shocking.

At this stage I am sure you are thinking - what more could I do to make a dick of myself? Plenty.

I discovered that our waitress wanted to get into advertising, so I introduced her to a couple of the managers (who at this stage were 'close friends') and wouldn't let them off the hook until they had actually scheduled interviews into their diaries for her.

About this time in the evening I was getting on famously with the CEO himself. Well, at least I thought so. I was playing the bongo drums on his head and then using it as an armrest....Well. It wasn't my fault he was the size of Danny Devito was it? Really short men are just asking for trouble around a very drunk me.

I then decided I was far to cool for this party and these people so me and my lesbian mate buggered off to a club to dance the night away.

***home, crash-out, wake up sometime the next day***

My boyfriend is sitting up in bed next to me. Not happy. It took a wee while before the memory flashes began...
No, surely I wasn't using your boss's head as a bongo drum?
What? I spent how much on the bar tab?
The lesbian?

It was rather amazing. He forgave me almost immediately.

I on the other had, didn't attend another one of his work functions for an entire year. When it came around to the next Christmas party, I was more nervous than last time. It was at the same place. Everyone, restaurant staff and all the colleagues remembered me. Even the new staff members had heard about me.

It was all good however - the waitress was now working for the company!

Be Natural Cereal Review

2011-12-26T20:39:00.002+13:00

I would like to clarify that I was recently asked to review this product. I was not paid to do this. All opinions are mine, and are honest.

I was recently asked to review the Be Natural range of breakfast cereal. I am a big cereal eater. I eat cereal everyday for breakfast. And as a breastfeeding mother, I eat a LOT. I like a breakfast to be healthy, tasty and I like it to fill me up for a decent amount of time.

I was sent three flavours of cereal - Pink Lady Apple & Flame Raisin (RRP $6.49); Cashew, Almond, Hazlenut & Coconut(RRP $6.49); 5 Whole Grain Flakes(RRP $4.99).

I was impressed with the cereals. They 'ticked all the boxes' so to speak. My favourite was the Pink Lady Apple & Flame Raisin. It had the Grain Flakes, and then lots of 'bits' - apple, raisins and these little 'clusters' of yumminess. My second favourite was the Cashew, Almond, Hazlenut & Coconut. I really enjoyed the nuts in the cereal. I thought the 5 Whole Grain Flakes was a bit boring to be honest. But I jazzed it up with some sliced bananas.

There are no artificial colours, flavours or preservatives in any of the cereals.

Honestly, I would probably buy both the Pink Lady Apple & Flame Raisin, and the Cashew, Almond, Hazlenut & Coconut flavours at the supermarket. They were really tasty. And I didn't need my second breakfast for about 3 hours after I ate, which is good.

My love affair with Twitter

2011-12-26T20:24:00.000+13:00

I love words. I love to write. I love to read.

I am also a bit of a stickler for spelling and punctuation. I have recently began to appreciate the Oxford Comma. Until I saw this cartoon, I had always thought it to be unnecessary. But not anymore.

However, I digress.

Despite my preference for correct English, I must admit that I love Twitter. I love to tweet, and I would check my Twitter timeline a few times most days. It used to drive me a bit crazy when I would come up with an unusually clever tweet, and once it was completed I would have -2 characters. So somehow I would have to make my clever tweet 2 characters shorter. What do I do? Commit a grammatical error? Or a spelling one? Do I change my tweet to make it slightly less clever?

Ahh, the woes of a modern day writer. I know. Cry me a river.

I have, however, had to just get the hell over it. So what? A spelling error. A missing full stop - nevermind.

I realised what I love about Twitter is the freedom. Yeah, sure, you have the 140 character limit per tweet. But I can say whatever I want. I long ago made a rule that I do not allow people I know from real life to follow me. That way, I can tweet about my family and friends. I can moan. I can vent about situations I want to keep secret. I can get advice.

The strangest thing about Twitter for me is that I have actually made and developed friendships with people. Unlike facebook, where I would never accept a stranger as a friend, with Twitter all of my followers are strangers. I might send out a tweet, I may get a reply, a conversation can develop. I would say that I have made four real actual friends on twitter (none of which I have actually met though), and three of those people are now facebook friends.

I also think that as I don't have to worry about offending anyone on Twitter, as they are all strangers and they can unfollow me with the click of a button if they don't like what I have to say, then I can just say whatever I am thinking and feeling. I often feel like the 'Twitter-me' is the real me. I feel like I can truly be myself. Geez, is that sad? I don't know. Maybe I am just lucky that I have found such an outlet. I wouldn't say that I pretend in front of my real-life family and friends, I guess they just get the version of me that I think they would like. Where I omit to tell them certain things. Or bullshit them a bit. With Twitter I don't need to do that.

I'll do it my way

2011-12-10T20:19:00.001+13:00

Parenting. Who would have thought it would be such a minefield of opinions and advice. The right way and the wrong way. My way and your way.

I think it would be fair to say I am not a 'mainstream' type of mother. I believe in gentle parenting, attachment parenting, and basically treating my children as actual real people, rather than some burden in my life. Since the moment I told people that I was having a baby, I have been inundated with advice. Some of it good, and some of it bad. The best piece of advice came from a man I worked with who said "Don't listen to anyone - just do it your way".

I started to get a bit upset with certain well-meaning people in my life (my mother, grandmother and auntie included), who would try and tell me that 'crying is good for your baby's lungs', 'he is playing you like a fiddle', 'you need to leave him to cry, or he'll never go to sleep', and so on. I would get annoyed with them, and they with me. I started to really think about this.

It is simple really - they are just telling me to do what they did, and they did these things because they were told to do it. And they did these things because they loved their children and wanted what was best for them. Twenty, thirty, and especially sixty years ago there was no internet, there was no easy access to 'alternative' parenting information. All mothers were given the same set of advice, and told to follow it. It would have been very difficult to go against this advice, if everyone you encountered in society was doing it the same way (and it was doctors orders).

My mother has actually come around - she has seen the research on the damage that 'crying it out' can do, to both mother and baby.

So now, when I hear "Back in my day, we did....", I won't take it badly, I will try not to be offended, I will just try to understand that they are saying it out of love and care. They are giving me the only information that they know, the information that was drummed into them, which was the best way for their precious children. I will try and be understanding that they may be deeply hurt if I try to tell them that new discoveries about babies brains have been made since their children were young, and the very things they did out of love for their children could very well have caused damage. I think I will just smile and nod, say thanks.

The dreaded 'N' word

2011-10-04T19:08:00.000+13:00

I heard it at preschool the other day. It hadn't even been on my radar for many years, I think by high school it is a distant memory for most of us, and as an adult it hadn't figured in my life at all. But boy, it is a word that has a lot of stigma. To be branded with this, whether it was true or not, was something not lived down for many years.

I think you know what I am talking about....thats right... NITS. Head-lice. Is this what Americans call cooties (or are cooties just a general term for some kind of 'germs' that an undesirable person suffers from?)?

Heres a close up of the little bastards.

I was confronted by a huge noticeboard as I took my son to preschool - WE HAVE NITS GOING AROUND. You could see the parents visibly shudder as the implications of this news shook them to the core. I was thinking, what the hey? Nits? Are they still going strong? They sucked the fat sav when I was at school, and they must be just as bad now. I cannot believe no-one has eradicated such a much-maligned curse in the last 20 years. I mean, think of the technological and scientific advancement that has taken place, yet our children are still afflicted with dirty old nits.

I have been checking my sons hair scrupulously every day (hmm, is your head itchy yet?) as I live in fear. I live in fear more than most other parents as my son, more often than not, ends up in our bed during the night. So I am not so fearful for his sake, but mine. Imagine if, at the age of 30, I got nits? (is your head itchy now, sort of behind your ears?).

I have been doing a bit of research into nit treatments, and none of them sound too appealing. Not from rubbing some mayo on my head, to the full scale chemical attack. I heard that hair straighteners do a pretty good job of sizzling the little beasts, and frying their eggs. And remember those very fine toothed combs that leave you half bald? I can just imagine how difficult it would be to get Master 3 to sit still for that long.

My plan of attack is simple - prevention. I will be shaving my sons head.

I'll leave you to have a good head scratch now

The Quickest Easiest Tastiest Home Made Ice Cream

2011-09-05T15:30:00.003+12:00

Following on from my earlier recipe for an easy dessert (the outrageously delicious microwave chocolate cake), I will now impart with my ice-cream recipe.

Ingredients:
300ml cream
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 Crunchie Bar (for those people in non Crunchie Bar countries, find something similar to this)

Method:

Whip cream
Fold in condensed milk - best to do this gradually, or else it 'pools' at the bottom
Smash up the crunchie and stir this through
Freeze
Eat

DONE!

I know. So tasty. So easy. If you want to thank me, you can just make me some. This is another one of those life changing recipes.

The struggles of being an introverted mother

2011-09-03T19:54:00.000+12:00

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am an INFJ personality type.
Introverted
Intuitive
Feeling
Judging

This is apparently one of the rarest personality types, with 1 - 3% of people exhibiting this personality type (this kinda makes me feel a bit special!).

Synopsis of INFJ personality type:

INFJs tend to be reserved, quiet and have a small circle of close friends
INFJs are prefer abstract concepts and tend to focus on the big picture rather than concrete details
INFJs place a greater emphasis on personal concerns than objective facts when making decisions.
INFJs like to exert control by planning, organizing and making decisions as early as possible.

People with INFJ personalities tend to exhibit the following characteristics:

Idealistic

Sensitive to the needs of others

Highly creative and artistic

Reserved

Focused on the future

Private

Values close, deep relationships

Enjoys thinking about the meaning of life

INFJs are driven by their strong values and seek out meaning in all areas of their lives including relationships and work. People with this type of personality are often described as deep and complex.

INFJs have an innate ability to understand other people's feelings. While they are introverted, they sometimes seem extroverted at times due to their strong interest in people and society. INFJs are interested in helping others and making the world a better place. They tend to be excellent listeners and are good at interacting with people which whom they are emotionally close and connected. While they care deeply about others, INFJs tend to be very introverted and are only willing to share their "true selves" with a select few. After being in social situations, INFJs need time to themselves to "recharge."

INFJs also have a talent for language and are usually quite good at expressing themselves on paper. They have a vivid inner life, but they are often hesitant to share this with others except for perhaps those closest to them. While they are quiet and sensitive, they can also be good leaders. Even when they don't take on overt leadership roles, they often act as quiet influencers behind the scenes.

In school, INFJs are usually high achievers and get good grades. They can be perfectionists at times and tend to put a great deal of effort into their academic work. INFJs enjoy learning, particularly about people, society, literature and art. They tend to prefer studying subjects that involves abstract theories and ideas rather than concrete facts and information.

Because they are reserved and private, INFJs can be difficult to get to know. They place a high value on close, deep relationships and can be hurt easily, although they often hide these feelings from others.

So how does this affect my life as a mother?

Firstly, the one thing that I miss more than anything else since becoming a mother, is being by myself. I enjoy being alone. I am only able to write, and follow other creative pursuits in solitude. If I can't write, I get quite stressed as it is pretty much the only way that I can truly and accurately express myself.

I also need to be alone in order to re-charge myself. I get drained when I am around people.

So as a mother I rarely get time all to myself. I love my beautiful children dearly, they are my heart and soul, and my life is so much better with them in it. But sometimes, I just need a break. It is a struggle.

My eldest son, 3 years, is also an introvert, I think (although I could be wrong), however I am sure my 9 month old son is an extrovert. My husband is an introvert. My husband and I both understand that we each need time alone to just 'be'.

My husband is currently on a roster where he works 7 days, then has 2 days off. So basically on his days off, he has a sleep in and time out on one of the days, and me on the other. So that is one day in nine that I get to have 'me' time.

On my most special day I sleep in. Sometimes I don't sleep as I like to be awake to enjoy being alone. I might watch a movie in bed. Then I like to take a long shower. I like to check my email. I like to garden. I like to write. And read. Today is my 'me' day. I make the most of every moment that I can. I need to recharge as much as possible to get me through the next 8 days.

Sometimes I have to stay up late, even if I am tired, just to be alone. I feel less tired, if I get that alone time.

But what is still elusive, is having the house to myself. To me that would be a dream. If my husband went out with the kids, and I could have the whole place to myself. To listen to music loudly. Or quietly. To do what I want without having to be considerate to everyone else.

This isn't the best written blog post, I am a bit all over the place today. Hopefully I have got my message across.

A surreal night and Siamese Bananas

2011-09-02T15:19:00.000+12:00

Important: Please read this first.
I thought long and hard about publishing this blog post as it is rather personal and insightful into my past. For those that know me in real life, hey, we are all products of our experiences.

It was January 2002, and I was living in Melbourne. I shared a house with my best friend Anna, and another girl, Rachael, a messed up drug dealer struggling to complete her masters degree in curatorship. I was 20 years old.

Anna and I dressed up for a night on the town. We were going to see a musical ensemble (ok, a band), that was touring Australia. We had tickets, but could only scrape together $5 between us. We walked over to an acquaitances house. His name was Tom. He once won a competition for stapling his penis to a crucifix and lighting it on fire. He ended up doing this three times, and being invited onto the Jerry Springer show, but that never eventuated. Tom was a sexual deviant. I don't recall why we were going to the gig with him.

Me, on the left, and Anna on the right. Taken just before we left.

We arrived at the bar (walking all the way, of course, $5 doesn't get you far on public transport), and enjoyed the ambiance and music. The band was amazing, and we were all blown away. They sure knew how to blow those horns. The building was a mass of sweaty bodies, jumping up and down in the dark.

After the show ended, Anna, Tom and I walked to another bar. Tom disappeared at this stage. I excused myself, and went to the ladies room, and upon returning Anna had joined a group of people, including the saxophone player from the band we had just seen. Things started to get a little strange.

A girl in this group came up to Anna and spoke "I KNOW you, you're Hilary". I advised her that I was in fact Hilary, and that she obviously didn't know me at all. This pissed her off.

Anna had become engrossed in conversation with a man, and then she turned around and said she had just taken a large dose of liquid acid (LCD). It came on fast, and the next thing I knew I was having to babysit her a bit.

The group of us decided to leave and walk back to the apartment of one of the group. There was a full moon and we did handstands in the park. There were sprinklers going. We were all laughing easily, we were relaxed and happy.

This apartment was small but well appointed. The guy who lived there was a beautiful gay man. More of a boy. He can't have been 20 yet. He had all sorts of curiosities - a guitar made out of an armadillo shell was of great interest to Anna who was well and truly tripping at this stage.

There would have been perhaps 6 or 7 of us there. We sat on the balcony and talked in the darkness. In the dark it is much easier to share with strangers.

The guy with the acid offered me some. I accepted. When I feel acid coming on, a strange thing happens, I can only think about what I am looking at. I will forget everything else. It is a strange and unsettling feeling. I decided to take a bath.

The bath relaxed me slightly. Upon getting out I dressed. I forgot to put my bra on. I left it hanging in the bathroom. I went into the lounge and lay down on the couch, and laid my head on the saxaphone players lap. I must have looked rather fetching. Warm, fresh and clean from the bath, with a tight white tank top with no bra on.

We made passionate mad love in the spare room. It turned out it wasn't the spare room, but it was the bedroom of the guy that lived there. He was none too impressed. We then lay in bed and talked about all the important things, true love, art, literature, life.

I had forgotten about the acid until everyone else came into the room. The stimulus seemed to immediately put me into an intense state of tripping. I laughed hysterically and told true stories of the Kingdom of Tonga, about the Kings idea to sell passports, and sell a mythical matchbox sized generator that turned saltwater into drinking water. I was hungry and someone got some grapes out of the fridge.

It was daylight now. Everyone looked different to the people I had been with last night. One guy had waist length red hair. How had I not noticed something so striking?

So to sum up:

I was lying naked in a gay mans bed, with a straight saxaphone player, being fed slightly old grapes by a man with waist length curly red hair, listening to my best friend attempt to play a song on an armadillo guitar.

What more could you ask from life?

When we left in the morning, I was still hungry. I wanted a banana. We went to a fruit shop. I saw some bananas, and I am not kidding you, they were all 'siamese' bananas. Each banana was like two bananas stuck together. I have never seen anything like it before or after. This was something to see when tripping. I was shrieking with surprise. In fact, I believe I was making a scene. I bought one, and ate it. It was bizarre. I contemplated keeping the skin, so that I could show people I wasn't making it up, and that it wasn't an acid induced hallucination.

See, they do exist.

A bunch of siamese bananas

The saxaphone player and I parted ways.

I arrived home, and still had the $5 in my pocket.

I learned later that the gay guy died of AIDS not long after.

People who pretend they are Statues Part 2

2011-08-27T21:29:00.000+12:00

This will be my last rant on the topic.

I have had a brilliant idea! Don't you think it would be really funny to find a mannequin, and dress the mannequin up to look like a person pretending to be a statue, and then put this mannequin out by all the other living statues?

I know. Brilliant.

People will be so overawed with my fake living statue (hmmm, does that just make it a statue?), that it will get all the dosh, and hopefully put the real fake statues out of business!

And, please, feel free to take this idea, and do it yourself. The more fake living statues out there, has got to be bad for their business.

Please, send me photos.

The books that changed my life

2011-08-27T21:16:00.000+12:00

Since birth I have loved books and reading. I have always been an avid reader, and have spent many hours either at the library or reading.

I remember when I was in the 3rd form (the first year of High School), and we had to read a book 'Z for Zachariah', and the teacher wanted our first impressions of it. I told her that I had already read it, so couldn't really give a first impression. She said fine, and pulled out a box of around 20 books to choose from. I had read them all.

At different points in my life, I would come across books that really changed me, who I was, how I behaved, my outlook on life and humanity. Here are some of those books:

Firstly,

The BabySitters Club Series. 'nuf said.

One Green Leaf, by Jean Ure.

I read this when I was 11 or 12. It is a book for teens, that deals with friendship and death in a beautifully done, non-patronising way.

The Sugar Factory, by Robert Carter

I also read this when I was about 12. About a kid who suffers a nervous breakdown and sits under his house with a galvanised bolt. Hmmm, it sounds a bit strange, but I loved it, and re-read it many times.

On The Road, by Jack Kerouac

Read this when I was 14, I think. A boy in my class at school was telling me all about Sal Paradise and his adventures on the road. I read this book because of him. I don't care if it is cliche to love this book, because it is so good. It makes my heart sing, and it inspires me to write, to dream, to travel, to be true to myself. I love it, and this book lead me on to read more wonderful books by other beat authors.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera

If you have not read this book, I implore you to read it. To own it. The way Kundera writes shows the true beauty of words and language. This book isn't just a novel, it is also philosophy. When I read this book, I like to read it slowly and re-read paragraphs to immerse my mind in the incredible beauty of these words.

And now, if ever I am struggling with life, or having a hard time, I smile to myself, and I think, that at least I am not suffering from the unbearable lightness of being. My life is heavy and full, and this book showed me that that is what life is all about.

Quiet Days in Clichy, by Henry Miller

To be honest, I love everything by Henry Miller. I love Henry Miller. But this book in particular is magic. Quite a short novel, but it flows so well. Full of sex, love, fun and excess. And I just discovered that they have made a movie of this book. Don't know if I should see it or not.

People who pretend they are Statues

2011-08-24T19:25:00.000+12:00

In this crazy ol' world, I try to live and let live, I try to understand, forgive, love, accept. There are a few exceptions, and I am going to use a word that I don't use that much - HATE.
Thats right, I HATE those people who pretend they are statues!!

This may be hard to believe - but this is not actually a statue. It is a person. a real living person. Hard to believe, huh? Looks just like a statue.

I think the correct term is 'living statue'. They are so wrong on so many levels.

I was perhaps 13 when I first saw a 'living statue'. And to be honest, I thought it was pretty cool, I really thought that this thing I was seeing really was a statue. And then she moved. You know what I thought, I thought, wow, that chick can really stay still. This was in the days when the living statues actually made a bit of an effort. Her paint work was quite good. And I was young.

When I moved over to London, in 2005, I worked on South Bank, right next to the London Eye. Obviously, this area is a bit of a tourist mecca. Along the footpath, in front of the London Eye, during the peak of summer there was someone pretending to be a statue about every 5 metres or so. Seriously. There were fucking heaps of these dicks. And they were shit. Some of them did have paint. Some of them didn't. One idiot was dressed up as a bright purple fluffy flamingo for christs sake!

Look at this guy. LAZY. He isn't even standing up. He does not look like a statue!! Who would give him money? What possessed him to get up one day, and think, hmmm, I am going to be a statue?

I am not sure how the payment system works - do you chuck a few coins at them if you think they are being good at staying still? Some of them seemed to think they could then move if you gave them money - just an excuse I reckon, they were probably getting stiff. Or some of them seemed to think they should get money if they gave someone a fright.

The ones that really get to me though, are the 'couple' living statues. Ugh. So wrong. I can't even begin to explain why I hate them so much.

'couple' living statue. And with two money receptacles. This is the type of thing that I was confronted with every lunch break in London.

But even worse than the statues themselves are the people who flock to them!!! It is pretty obvious that they are NOT STATUES!!! So why do people get 'surprised' and laugh when they move??? Why do people crowd around them?? And then go from one, to another, and then to another? I just do not get it.

The only place worse than London for living statues, that I have come across so far, is Barcelona.

Oh yeah, thats right, I can KNIT

2011-08-14T15:15:00.000+12:00

One evening a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly thought "I want to KNIT". However, I didn't know how, nor have any knitting needles or wool (I think you call it yarn in the USA).

So I put the idea out of my head, but the universe had other ideas and the next day whilst I was visiting Grandma, she started talking about knitting. As it turns out, she can no longer knit much due to arthritis, and has a veritable treasure of knitting paraphernalia, and I was allowed it all!

Just not yet.

I was required to prove myself first, and was sent away with one pair of knitting needles, and a few scraps of old wool. That evening I taught myself to cast on, using trusty old youtube. Then I taught myself how to knit.

I knitted a few rows, went back to see Grandma, was given a knitting needle upgrade, and some more wool.

First I decided to knit a scarf. But it got kind of boring as my row was so wide. So I decided to sew it into a tube, and turn it into a neck warmer:

So the reason one end is narrower than the other is because I changed to the
new bigger knitting needles after the first row. This is my piece of knitting before I darned in the loose wool.

With the ends all darned in

with the ends sewed together, into a tube, folded in half. this gets pulled over the had to become
a 'neck warmer'

Since completing my neck warmer, I have decided that I will turn it into a hat, and I am now knitting a proper scarf (much narrower!), and it is a race - what will happen first, will this storm hit, or will I finish the scarf in time for my son to wear it in the snow!

Off to see Grandma again in a couple of days...hopefully I will be allowed the 'good wool'. And I happened to notice a couple of crochet hooks, so might give that a go too.

The Easiest Quickest Tastiest Dessert

2011-08-09T17:05:00.002+12:00

Sometimes, as a woman, as a mother, you just need something to get you through the evening. It used to be wine for me, but nowadays, as a breastfeeding Mama, wine isn't always the best thing.
But I will tell you what IS the best thing. This super quick chocolate cake. Here is the recipe. Treasure it.

Microwave Chocolate Cake

Mix together
3 tbsp butter/margarine
3/4 cup sugar (whatever you've got - white, raw, brown...)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/4 cup milk

Then sift in
1/2 cup flour
3 tbsp cocoa powder
1/4 tsp baking powder

Mix until smooth

Divide into two coffee mugs and then microwave on high. If I am cooking just one at a time, they take 3 minutes each in our microwave, or if I am cooking them at the same time then it takes 4 minutes. Your microwave might be different.

The cakes - all cooked!

Then serve with cream/whipped cream/ice-cream.

Seriously. Soooo good. And sooo easy.

The Breast Nazi Myth

2011-07-12T19:19:00.000+12:00

I am a rather passionate breastfeeding mother. I am an active member of La Leche League and I know that breast is best.
Even as I write this, there will be someone who reads this as: 'If you feed your baby formula, then I think you are a bad mother'.
This is not the case.
I follow a number of parenting pages on facebook. As soon as one of them posts a link to an article about the benefits of breastfeeding, someone always has to add comments such as:
'Thats nice - for those mothers that CAN breastfeed.'
'I formula feed my baby, and hes healthy'
'Breastfeeding isn't always best'

Breastfeeding is the BEST option for mothers and babies. I am completely aware that in some situations breastfeeding is not possible. And in these cases, I am very thankful that mothers have access to high quality formula to feed their baby. I believe that breastmilk is best, but I also believe that formula has its place, and that many mothers absolutely require formula to feed their baby.

I just wish that breastfeeding could be properly promoted, and new mothers had access to high quality breastfeeding information and support, without fear of offending woman that use formula. And almost all breastfeeding problems can be overcome if the mother is willing.

I don't believe that the 'Breast Nazi' actually exists. I think that some mothers who formula feed, simply hear something that isn't being said. They are reading between the lines and getting a completely different message.