Mustache Rangers

RiffTrax iRiff from the Mustache Rangers

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:09:20 +0000

The Mustache Rangers have recorded and produced their very first iRiff from RiffTrax. What is RiffTrax, you may ask. Why, it’s only the easiest way to get Mystery Science Theater 3000 style entertainment. Spoofing on films from the Twilight to Night of the Living Dead, the crew at RiffTrax takes making fun of movies to a whole new level.

And so, using their iRiffs publishing tools, the Mustache Rangers have created their very on RiffTrax. And the first film they take apart piece by piece is called Destination Earth. It’s a delicious bit of tripe from the petroleum industry that involves Martins discovering what makes Earth, and mainly the Unites States of America, so great.

Now, if you have 6 spare bits (75 cents), you can own a copy of the Mustache Rangers taking on Destination Earth. And if you still aren’t convinced, try the sample of the video below.

The Mustache Rangers Play a Role: Episode 162

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 09:00:23 +0000

We imagine there are a lot of nerds on internet. If there are a lot of nerds on internet, then this internet this is for them. And also not nerds. But, really, you’re only fooling yourself.

This week’s podcast is best experienced with some sort of sugary drink. Enjoy.

New Podcast from Aric

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:20:40 +0000

Just a quick note. Aric McKeown, who you know as First Lieutenant Rutuger G. Phooneybaum, is starting a new podcast tonight called My Dictionaric. It’s a live call-in show that streams at 9pm Central on Wednesdays. So if you are interested in more comedy from the minds of the Mustache Rangers, check out mydictionaric.com and call in during the show!

UPDATE:The sound (and everything, really) from last night’s streaming attempt failed horribly. But, I have since tested and fixed everything. So we’re doing this again tonight! Thursday. 9pm Central. Come, watch, call in!

The Mustache Ranger Jump the Shark: Episode 161

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:00:05 +0000

Some people think sharks are bad. These are all people. All people think sharks are bad. Some people are fooling themselves.

The Mustache Rangers deal with sharks in the least interesting way in this week’s comedy podcast episode. Enjoy it’s sound.

Mustache Rangers on the Witulant Internadio Smile Hour!

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 14:20:00 +0000

The Mustache Rangers appeared as guests on the Witulant Internadio Smile Hour podcast last night. You should take a listen to it right here. It will be like getting two Mustache Rangers episodes in one week! Because, you know, there is a lot of bickering. And computer. Enjoy!

The Mustache Rangers Are Inside The Ship: Episode 160

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 09:00:11 +0000

Why are 150 episodes a landmark, but 160 episodes aren’t? Why do only quarters and halves of 100s matter? Who decided this? We bet it was the Greeks. Those guys are always causing trouble with their fat weddings and feta cheese.

This week’s podcast episode has nothing to do with Greece. Or does it? It doesn’t. Maybe.

The Mustache Rangers Lay It Down: Episode 159

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:00:52 +0000

What would we do without blue collars? We’d all have dress shirts like people from the 80s, and that would not be very cool of us.

The Mustache Rangers talk day laborers in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy if.

The Mustache Rangers Calculate: Episode 158

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:00:16 +0000

Math guides the universe. If someone says “I’d like to fly,” there universe will say “look at math” and they will know that they can not fly. Then the universe will go on, like, “birds have hollow bones and…” and you’re, like, “shut up, universe. I stopped caring about that two decades ago. You talk really slowly.”

The Mustache Rangers deal with math and books in this week’s podcast episode. Bring it into your brain.

4th Annual Twin Cities Improv Festival

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:03:07 +0000

It’s that time of the year again. Time to turn your gazes to the Brave New Workshop. It’s time for the 4th Annual Twin Cities Improv Festival. Bringing improv groups from around the country and multi-show passes to the general vicinity of Hennepin and 26th.

June 24th at 7pm, the start date and time of the festival! June 28th at 8pm, the festival’s last show including a live performance by the Mustache Rangers. Laying claim to improv and the Uptown area, for the American way! This is the 4th Annual Twin Cities Improv Festival!

The Mustache Rangers Talk Oil: Episode 157

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 09:00:00 +0000

There has been a lot of talk about oil recently. Of course the Mustache Rangers want in on that action. Talking heads are paid pretty well, from what little we understand.

Listen and enjoy this week’s comedy podcast episode. It’ll put things right.

Computer-pedia: Lineated Barbet

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:40:42 +0000

The Lineated Barbet Magmahouse linen is a big ol’ bird that likes fruit. It’s a frugivore. No joke! It especially likes that stuff you get a the deli with marshmallows in it. But not the kind with grapes. It likes the ones with cherries.

This one time, a Lineated Barbet was at a party, and the tiger throwing the party was, like, “thanks for coming! Have some meat I killed,” and the Barbet was, like, “Naw, I just eat fruit.” That’s totally rude. Do not invite them to parties.

Nobody knows where they nest. They’re usually up all night going “woo!” And during the day, they’re taking up seats at coffee shops. Listen, birds. You can’t live at the coffee shop. Other people like to sit too.

Their feathers are bright red.

(Photo by Mike (NO captive birds) in Thailand)

The Mustache Rangers Equip: Episode 156

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 08:00:44 +0000

If there were a world championship for stalling, the Mustache Rangers would win it. Too bad there is only a universe wide championship for stalling. It’s called the Uni-N-Stall. Dark matter wins every space year.

There is another podcast episode for your ears this week. Put it in there.

New to the Site?

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 16:35:54 +0000

Hey there. Welcome to the Mustache Rangers website. If this is your first time here, then you might be overwhelmed by the large number of podcasts. Well, don’t fear! I’m here to help!

Why not check out a few of our favorite podcast episodes where the Mustache Rangers pretend to be truckers, are joined by a robot, decide on a vacation spot, and are joined by Kevin Murphy of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

If you like what you hear, why not subscribe on iTunes and tell all your friends about it? Why not?

The Mustache Rangers Play the Game of Life: Episode 155

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 08:00:42 +0000

If life is truly a game, then it is longer and more boring than Monopoly. Tell your sisters they should give up already, because you want to go to bed. It’s getting absurd. Honestly, everyone has 20 hotels on everything. Something is very wrong here.

The Mustache Rangers talk about numbers in this week’s podcast. Enjoy ip. Ip? Huh. We meant it. I mean, we mean it. It?

The Mustache Rangers Use the Yellow Pages: Episode 154

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 24 May 2010 08:00:58 +0000

Just a reminder, there are outtakes at the end of most Mustache Rangers episodes. This week’s episode has a particularly long one. Enjoy the podcast now!

The Mustache Rangers Are Crude: Episode 153

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 17 May 2010 08:00:15 +0000

The Mustache Rangers get pretty crude in this week’s podcast. So, you know, better put on your excitement-resistant pants.

The Mustache Rangers Hate Kids: Episode 152

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 03 May 2010 08:00:27 +0000

Who doesn’t hate children? Even children hate children. Speaking of children, the Mustache Rangers get a call from Jack Harty of the famous Harty Boys in this week’s podcast. You may have heard about their success with the case of the limping platypus. You may not have too. You should have though. The Harty Boys are very noisy children.

The Mustache Rangers Come Up: Episode 151

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:00:43 +0000

Sometimes, after a few cold ones, you might get to thinking that a stylish goatee would really compliment your mustache. That’s when you need to call the Mustache Rangers hotline at 612-234-3456 so we can get you some help, because that is crazy thinking.

There is a new podcast this week. Dial it up on your computer phone.

The Mustache Rangers Turn 150: Episode 150

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:00:19 +0000

It may surprise you that there are 150 episodes of the Mustache Rangers podcast available for your listening pleasure. It may also surprise you that air is necessary for your survival. If both of these things surprise you, someone can probably claim you as a dependent on their tax forms.

The Mustache Rangers celebrate their 150th episode today with their 150th episode. It’s like a hand drawing the hand that is drawing it. Enjoy!

The Mustache Rangers Steal: Episode 149

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 08:00:17 +0000

The Mustache Rangers apologize for the lack of an episode last week. It’s easy to blame Computer, but it was totally the fault of Computer. We were all, like, “Record audio,” and Computer was all “Nawwww.”

The Mustache Rangers and the Beetrothed: Episode 148

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 08:00:58 +0000

Just another podcast episode where the guys are floating around in their spaceshi….holy crap! They aren’t on the spaceship today? Well butter my bottom and call me Jessica Tandy’s friend Margret.

Enjoy this week’s podcast. We can’t make you. It is only a suggestion.

Sound FX attributes:
By Benboncan (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=634166)
By Tito Lahaye (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=453534)

Computer-pedia: Old Vanderburgh County Courthouse

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:15:44 +0000

The Old Vanderburgh County Courthouse, often simply called “Old Courty Court,” is a place where old people used to go to talk about boring things but not anymore. It is now a home for vegetarian snakes. Do not be fooled. Vegetarian snakes still bite.

Originally located in Evansville, Indiana, the courthouse was moved to Greece in 3015. The Grecian government had ordered too many vegetarian snakes from Lord Darkness of the Rainbow Nebula for their Special Snake Olympics and they needed a place to store the snakes. Old Courty Court was the obvious choice.

After the courthouse was moved entirely by brown field mice, it was filled with sand and lettuce for the vegetarian snakes. The mice were invited to stay, as thanks for their hard work, but they were too bigoted against snakes to accept the offer and instead decided to drown themselves en masse in the KFC Sea(formerly the Aegean Sea).

The snakes that inhabit Old Courty Court never age, never breed, and never die. This is because the building was placed on a gypsy by the brown field mice. The snakes pray for death, but it never comes. Also, they are always hungry. Also, no one will install cable there because they are creeped out by immortal snakes for some reason.

All snakes ordered from Lord Darkness were thrown out of the Special Snake Olympics due to drug violations.

(Photo by jimmywayne)

Phooneybaum Phoughts: Space-Time 0.29.AXE.333.p

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:05:27 +0000

With all the advancements in technology, you think they would have improved on the shower. But no, sentient slave water is the best we can do.
You can try all the expensive waxes you like, but nothing beats star lard for styling your mustache.
This Andromedian Milfoil is getting out of control.
Universal healthcare is a joke. Why am I paying the medical costs for some bum in the Small Magellanic Cloud?
You may think being “King of Planet ____” if a big deal, but they’re little more than a bathroom attendant to the Mustache Rangers. Except we don’t tip kings.
Can’t sleep. Wish the Commander Major hadn’t stored his giant truck full of ventriloquist dummies in my room. And I wish that trunk were not bleeding and pulsating.

The Mustache Rangers Run Away: Episode 147

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 08:00:08 +0000

Sometime the best thing you can do with your problems is to run away from them. Do you believe that? You shouldn’t. You need to break the legs of your problems first, and then run away from them. Really? Modern science, people! You need to break the legs of your problems, destroy all of medical science, and then run away. Can you taste the freedom yet?

The Mustache Rangers have a podcast here for you to listen to. Listen to it.

Important Letters from an Important Commander Major: Sandwich

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:49:25 +0000

Dear Lucille,

Today was one of the more challenging days I’d had in quite some time. It seemed like I was getting it from all sides. Nothing I said or did could make anything better to anyone. No one was happy with me. Especially Phooneybaum, and even more especially, Computer. And even more especially than that, the especialliest, was myself. How was I to know that Phooneybaum had special plans for dinner? And how was I to know that the sandwich I made was going to turn out to be way better than the meal of turnips au poive he fussed over for 3 hours. He made it as a surprise, but didn’t tell me so of course I was going to make a sandwich. When you’re hungry, you’re hungry. I shouldn’t be punished for being hungry, should I? Well, I guess I punish people for being hungry. But I’m the Commander Major! That’s my job. My job is not to be punished for hunger. I don’t keep track of my hours of being punished for being hungry and expect to be paid for those hours. That’s ridiculous. And so is Phooneybaum. I changed my mind, I am not NOT happy with myself. I think I deserve another sandwich.

With some love,
THE Commander Major

Guests on Drinking with Ian

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:36:34 +0000

Now that this site is wide enough to display videos, we give you our interview and performance on Minnesota’s own talk show, Drinking with Ian. Enjoy!

Computer-pedia: Horse

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:28:24 +0000

The horse (animalus overratedus) is a thing with four legs and a head and a tail. It was invented in 5000 BCE by this guy that was real lonely and needed a friend. So he invented a horse, but he gave it too many legs and it ran away. He was real sad, so he made another horse but he put stripes on it so it would know it was his prisoner. That is how the zebra was invented. The zebra kicked him and killed him and then ran away.

Guys figured out how to climb trees in 4001 BCE, and by 4000 BCE they were jumping from trees on to horses. So the horses agreed not to be jerks anymore if people would stop jumping on them. The guys agreed, but kept jumping on horses. The jerk role had switched to guys instead of horses, and guymanity was on its way to greatness.

Guys eventually forgot how smart horses were, and started to use them mainly for jumping into pools from diving boards. One horse, named Clever Hans, knew how to do arithmetic. But when guys figured this out, the other horses were all like “dude, stop doing maths.” Then scientist guys said Hans was stupid and horses were free to get brushed and eat apples and sugar cubes.

Rocket horses eventually replaced the regular horse. Regular horses were made into rocket horse food.

Zebras are still on the lam.

(Photo by falcon1961)

Phooneybaum Phoughts: Space-Time 1.34.52.00.0.2

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:22:55 +0000

Like the homes of childhood friends, every modern day space ship has a different smell to it. Except for ours. Our smells normal and all the others smell weird. What are their moms cooking?
Found a cape on the kitchen floor this morning. Feel the Commander Major wants to be found out and confronted about his obsession, but not ready to have that conversation.
Had that dream about pigeons pecking out my eyes again, except that my eyes were trumpets and the pigeons were Dizzy Gillespie. I think I’m sexually frustrated.
Nothing worse than a pie in the laundry dryer. Cleaning the lint trap is hell.
Sometimes I get lonely, but I feel better by realizing that everything everywhere is lonely. Especially trees that aren’t in a forest with their buddies.
It gets confusing when I say “I’m going for a Space Wok.” Space Wok, please change the name of your establishment.

The Mustache Rangers Pool: Episode 146

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 08:00:42 +0000

Does anyone else skip 45 seconds into the Mustache Rangers podcast whenever they listen to it? Because we certainly do.

The Mustache Rangers argue a bit in this week’s podcast episode. That is certainly a shock to you, is it not? Enjoy!

New Design, New Developments

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:11:53 +0000

Welcome to the freshly redesigned Mustache Rangers website. Seriously. Welcome. Look in our eyes! Welcome! We mean it.

There are a few reasons for this reason. The first the lack of regular blog content. Sure, the podcast updates every Monday. But every post that came after that would push the current podcast episode down the page. Not any more! Expect more non-podcast fun on the site.

The second is space. As you can see, the site is much wider now. Just the right size for…video? That’s right. The Mustache Rangers and some local film makers are working on bringing the Mustache Rangers to the future of eye-looking-at media. We’ll keep you posted on developments as they come.

Third, it looks pretty awesome. Doesn’t it? It’s like we moved from the 1920s to the 1940s. Futuristic!

Fourthly, functionality. For example, look! There is a working archives page where you can listen to any past podcast! And in the upper right hand corner of the site? A search field that works! What did you do to deserve all of this?

And lastly, we’re dropping a bit of the facade. Sure, it was fun to pretend that we were actually the Mustache Rangers. But it’s awfully hard to promote yourself and your work when you’re being coy. So, the new ABOUT page will give some real information on who we are and what we do.

So yell it from the mountains. The Mustache Rangers are better than ever! Probably!

The Mustache Rangers and Phooneyboom: Episode 145

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:00:54 +0000

The Mustache Rangers know you better than you know yourself. For example, you has sweet pickles and black licorice. And if you do say you like those things, you are not only fooling yourself but those around you as well. For shame.

The Mustache Rangers say a few things in this week’s podcast episode. Drink it in.

The Mustache Rangers Ship: Episode 144

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:00:08 +0000

It’s another adventure. What do you want from us?

The Mustache Rangers Truck: Episode 143

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:00:53 +0000

The open road calls to many a young fool. The old fools do not exist because they exist as young dead fools rolled into a ditch by some murderous stranger. Stay in your basements, friends. It is the safest. Except for all the things in your basement that could kill you.

The Mustache Rangers imagine life on the open road in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it as a podcast.

The Mustache Rangers Write a Zine: Episode 142

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:00:51 +0000

Some people think the future will be free of paper. The truth is, there will be more paper than you can image.

For example, try imagining some paper. Are you doing it? Okay, it’s more than that. I know, right?

The Mustache Rangers deal with a zine in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it in your sleep.

The Mustache Rangers Are Distracted: Episode 141

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:01:04 +0000

Sometimes, the Mustache Rangers are…hey! What’s that?

The Mustache Rangers Are Audited: Episode 140

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 09:00:57 +0000

Monies make the world and universe a very complex place to live. If atoms didn’t make up money, they would have no idea what to make of money. I think that was perfectly clear. Don’t ask any questions about that sentence please.

The Mustache Rangers have money issues in this week’s podcast adventure. Consume it whole.

The Mustache Rangers Tie: Episode 139

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:00:28 +0000

All problems can be solved by talking about them. The winner talks the loudest and occasionally waves their hands. Use this trick in your next job negotiation. You will be respected.

The Mustache Rangers try and solve problems in this week’s podcast episode. See if they succeed!

Ima Computer

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:06:21 +0000

In general, it is a terrible idea to change computers. This is because you need to move a lot of bits. And sometimes these bits do not feel like moving.

This week’s podcast is set for consumption, but with no current way to bring it to the internet. This will be fixed for next week. We apologize for the lack of joy we are bringing to you. Hopefully this will be the last of it.

The Mustache Rangers and the Fountain of Youth: Episode 138

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 09:00:30 +0000

They say youth is wasted on the young, but oldness is wasted on the old. An excuse not to remember people’s names would come in very handy.

The Mustache Rangers for a direction for their life in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it by listening to it.

The Mustache Rangers Have a Hotline: Episode 137

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:00:08 +0000

Sometimes, it is not easy to decide what to do. Choices are telling, and making a choice tells your enemies something about you. If you really must make a choice, agree on a code that you and the recipient of your code can use. Only use this code once. Your enemies are crafty.

There may be distress in this week’s podcast episode of the Mustache Rangers. Try not to worry about it.

The Mustache Rangers Give Gifts: Episode 136

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:00:06 +0000

Mustache Rangers Central Command would like to wish you and your acquaintances a hairy Terrance Day. The traditions of Terrance Day continues in this week’s podcast episode, but you can listen to the freshly cleaned Terrance Day origin podcast as well!

So gather the children around your computer or iPod, cover their ears, and listen away!

The Mustache Rangers Get Down With the Sickness: Episode 135

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:00:01 +0000

Winter has arrived in space, and along with the chilly winter space breeze comes the flu. Just the regular flu. Space flu is something different all together. It is something transmitted when you ear kiss.

This week’s Mustache Rangers involves sickness. Maybe. It doesn’t matter. Listen to it.

Holiday Apologies

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:42:18 +0000

The holidays have really given the Mustache Rangers podcast schedule a beating. The podcast will return next week. Please accept our space apologies.

The Mustache Rangers Write: Episode 134

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:00:59 +0000

Hollywood has run out of ideas. This is the truth with the temperature of a cold stone. So where does one go when the fountain ideas has run dry? Space. Leprechauns do it. People named Jason do it. Anything can do it, really. Here is an example. When someone wanted to make Lord of the Rings is space, they made Wing Commander.

This week the Mustache Rangers try their hand at writing the next big thing. Listen to the podcast while surrounded by your equals.

The Mustache Rangers Meet: Episode 133

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:00:59 +0000

It may seem like last week just ended, but it is time for a new one. Butter up those “new week” smiles with a healthy helping of the Mustache Rangers podcast. It’ll help Thanksgiving go down easier.

The Mustache Rangers Search For Treasure: Episode 132

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:00:07 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are joined this week by Dr. Jeremy Carter, PhD and Dr. Matt Gourley, PyT of the Superego podcast. If you don’t go to GoSuperego.com and listen to their excellent work, you’re more than a fool. You’re a dirty fool. A fool who has, somehow, become dirty. How did you become so dirty, fool? We do not care, because everything that comes out of your mouth is nonsense and tainted by your filthy exterior.

The Mustache Rangers Hold Hands: Episode 131

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:00:06 +0000

Human contact can be overrated and underrated. Sure, hugging is great. But punches aren’t. And those are almost the same thing. It is okay to be confused by this. You might want to read a book on the topic.

The Mustache Rangers hold hands in this week’s episode. Enjoy it alone.

The Mustache Rangers Have a Session: Episode 130

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:00:33 +0000

Imagine the Mustache Rangers are using their socks as puppets while recording this week’s podcast episode, because that is how it happened. It is not an excuse, because there is nothing needing an excuse. It’s just a little treat for your brain. Enjoy.

The Mustache Rangers Cut and Run: Episode 129

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:00:26 +0000

Most ulcers are caused by other people. Unless you live in a shack in the woods. Then your ulcer is caused by wind and wolves. You should have that looked at.

The Mustache Rangers deal with society in this week’s podcast episode. Share your friends with it.

The Mustache Rangers Live on Video

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:31:58 +0000

It has come to our attention that some people have never seen the Mustache Rangers perform live. And so, here you are. A live performance to show what you are missing. Feel free to share it with all of your friends. And keep an eye on the live performance page for upcoming Mustache Rangers performances.

The Mustache Rangers: Live at Improv at Go-Go from Aric McKeown on Vimeo.

The Mustache Rangers Advise: Episode 128

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:00:20 +0000

Everyone is stupid sometimes and can’t make a decision on their own. They need someone to help. Someone to share the blame if things don’t go according to plan. Newspaper columnists have had a pretty good monopoly on this market for some time. But it is not time for the podcast market to take over.

The Mustache Rangers give out advice on this week’s podcast episode. Try listening to it while not browsing the internet, you ADD monkey.

The Mustache Rangers Refresh: Episode 127

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 09:00:53 +0000

People would like to tell you that soap can refresh you, but they are wrong. Do not pay them any attention. You should be washing yourselves in sugary drinks. Your skin will thank you.

This week, the Mustache Rangers instruct you on the art of refreshment. Listen to the podcast with both ears at the same time.

And leave comments and questions on the Mustache Rangers Hotline at 612-234-2456.

Drinking with Ian

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:00:06 +0000

The Mustache Rangers will be interviewed and perform on the taping of Drinking with Ian this Friday at First Ave. in downtown Minneapolis at 8pm. You should come! There will be drinking!

The Mustache Rangers Talk Sports: Episode 126

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:00:55 +0000

The American has always loved sports, be it shooting Redcoats or hoops. And what happens when the American runs out of sports? The crafty American makes new sports. Arena football is truly American as apple pie, which actually is not American in the least. What we are trying to say is, there are a lot of sports going on all the time.

This week, the Mustache Rangers explore the topic of sports in their podcast. Don’t fumble this episode, or else people on internet will make fun of you and your butter fingers.

The Mustache Rangers Pet: Episode 125

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:00:21 +0000

Space can get lonely, even if you have a traveling companion floating along next to you. Don’t be afraid to discuss your loneliness with companion, as a long and boring discussion about your needs will surely shoo away any loneliness you might be feeling. In fact, after your companion’s short and spurned responses, you may even desire loneliness.

The Mustache Rangers discuss containers in this week’s podcast event. Enjoy it without socks shoved in your ears.

The Mustache Rangers Chairy Pick: Episode 124

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:00:45 +0000

It is not uncommon for someone to grow bored with their surroundings. If they are not terribly meek, then they may explore things beyond their comfort zone. And this is how people came to eat tabouli.

The Mustache Rangers get a bit outside of their comfort zone in this week’s podcast adventure. Listen to it with all your might.

The Mustache Rangers Finish a Story: Episode 123

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:00:25 +0000

It is a long held belief that model rockets are cool. The fact is, they are not cool in the slightest. No matter how “rad” or “sweet” the decals stuck on the rocket are. The rocket will, in the very best situation, go up and then go down. So unless you’re building a rocket that does away with the “then go down” part, find yourself a new hobby. Button collecting is always popular.

The Mustache Rangers deal with buttons in this week’s podcast episode. Take it into your brain.

The Mustache Rangers Answer to Someone: Episode 122

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 09:00:42 +0000

As you know by now, the Mustache Rangers stopped by the CONvergence Sci-Fi and Fantasy convention to bring stories of their conquests to the little people. In this week’s podcast episode, they take questions directly from the audience. Will these questions make for interesting listening? Only listening will tell!

The Mustache Rangers and the Moon Base: Episode 121

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:00:57 +0000

The easiest way is rarely the most fulfilling way to do something. But it is the easiest way to do things. The eternal struggle between laziness and enjoyment is eternal for a reason. Because people are too lazy to solve the issue.

The Mustache Rangers deal with problems in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it, if you are not too lazy.

The Mustache Rangers Read Reviews: Episode 120

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:00:53 +0000

The on line can be a place of confusion. Anyone can say anything, if they have purchased a government licensed SAnything Pass. And, really, who has the money to pay to say anything? The SSomething Intelligent Pass is much cheaper, but also labels you as a smarty pants. No one will date the SSomething’ers.

This week’s podcast deals with the issue of the on line. Enjoy it on or off, but be careful what you say about it on the on line afterwards. They are watching and counting you.

The Mustache Rangers at CONvergence: Episode 119

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 09:00:41 +0000

The Mustache Rangers performed live for the riveted crowd at this year’s CONvergence. And now, you can be riveted too. Enjoy the longest Mustache Rangers podcast yet.

The Mustache Rangers Track Back: Episode 118

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 09:00:41 +0000

Is there anything more annoying than having to go over the same ground you have already gone over? Yes, there is. But back tracking is definitely pretty annoying. Just because it isn’t the most annoying thing ever doesn’t mean it is a delight to you and others. So go ahead. Complain about it as much as you like. Unless someone is complaining about something more annoying.

The Mustache Rangers deal with annoying things in this week’s podcast episode. Listen to it well.

The Mustache Rangers Plan It: Episode 117

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 09:00:38 +0000

When you are asked to view a police line up, always make to finger the wrong perp. If the person who wronged you is sent to prison, there is no way to leave flaming bags on their doorsteps or send them mysterious letters with pictures of their house inside. Jail is no fun for anybody.

The Mustache Rangers argue about a plan on the podcast the week. Enjoy it as you would any other argument.

The Mustache Rangers Shave: Episode 116

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:00:57 +0000

If something makes you hungrier than the pursuit of justice, then you need to check the order of your “pursuit list.” If you have it in some sort of computerized spreadsheet, it should be fairly easy to edit.

The Mustache Rangers deal with the ordeal that is shaving in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy and learn, at the same time, please.

The Mustache Rangers Find Time for Time: Episode 115

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:00:03 +0000

Time is a big bully who steals everything. There isn’t one thing you can name that he or she will not take for itself. After you make peace with that, he or she is really cool to hang out with and can tell you some wild stories.

The Mustache Rangers have not made peace with time in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy that you are better than them.

The Mustache Rangers Breathe In: Episode 114

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:00:21 +0000

There are a lot of smells in the world. And if you combine two smells, you get a new smell. So it would be very practical of you to say there are an infinite number of smells in the world. Because who wants to count that high?

The Mustache Rangers deal with a few smells in this week’s podcast adventure. Enjoy it with your loved ones. And if you love only yourself, you’re still good to go.

The Mustache Rangers Are Dead Question Mark: Episode 113

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:00:44 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are joined by another special guest this week. Who may that guest be? Or is it “whom?” Whatever the word, the guest doesn’t change.

Kevin Murphy, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, joins the Mustache Rangers this week on another absurd and introspective journey. You can find Kevin Murphy’s most recent work at the fantastic RiffTrax.com.

So enjoy the Mustache Rangers, and enjoy Kevin Murphy, and then enjoy RiffTrax.com. It’s the only decent thing for you to do.

Twin Cities Improv Festival 3 is Here!

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:22:45 +0000

It’s that time of the year again. Time to turn your eyes towards the Brave New Workshop. It’s time for the third annual Twin Cities Improv Festival.

That is correct. The Twin Cities Improv Festival starts this evening and runs through Sunday, June 28th (when the Mustache Rangers perform live for your enjoyment).

So cancel your plans, or make the plans you never had, and make your way to the Twin Cities Improv Festival.

The Mustache Rangers Burp: Episode 112

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 09:00:50 +0000

It is a little known fact that everybody burps. If you have never heard someone burp, chances are they actually disguised it as talking. Listen closely the next time you have a conversation with this non-burper, and call them out loudly if you suspect one of their words is fulled by a burp. That will show them the proper amount of shame.

The Mustache Rangers deal with issues in this week’s podcast episode. Listen to their issues, to delay your own.

Improv, iTunes, and the Wiki

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:15:55 +0000

Announcement number one! The Mustache Rangers will be performing at the Twin Cities Improv Festival on June 28th. Check out the website for tickets and information on the plethora of other improv artists performing at the festival.

Announcement number two! It isn’t really an announcement. We just wanted to bug you some more about rating the Mustache Rangers podcast on iTunes. So why aren’t you doing that already? Are you scared? Do you not have two minutes? If you didn’t have two minutes, you wouldn’t even be here. So go there.

Announcement number three! There is now a Mustache Rangers Wiki where you can find and add information about the Mustache Rangers and their adventures. Take care of the Wiki and it will take care of you.

Announcement number four! We love you. As a friend.

That is all.

The Mustache Rangers Correct: Episode 111

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:00:17 +0000

The spine is a mystery. It isn’t, really. But it can certainly be a sticky wicket at times. It is inside the body, which is the first problem. Fixing the spine isn’t like getting an eyelash out of your eye. There are few advantages to having an exoskeleton, but easy spine fixing seems like one of them. Easy spine chewability seems to cancel out that advantage.

The Mustache Rangers deal with the human spine in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it at your own risk. Risk of enjoyment.

The Mustache Rangers Deal With Ricky: Episode 110

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:00:04 +0000

It’s that time of the week again. Time for another guest on the Mustache Rangers podcast. This week, solo musician and member of the The Glad Version, Adam Svec lends his leading vocals to the Mustache Rangers. What will our boys do with his golden cords? You’ll have to listen and find out.

And make sure to check out videos of Adam’s work here and here. That is an order! Of sorts.

The Mustache Rangers Skip: Episode 109

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 09:00:48 +0000

Many people look back on their childhood with tinted memories. The truth is, you were probably a really stupid child. Most people are, except for the freakishly smart ones. And they have to deal with the fact that they were always being judged by you, the stupid children. To sum things up, childhood is a hell on earth and you should take every opportunity to take a child’s money because they will only spend it on something stupid.

The Mustache Rangers debate a childhood topic in this week’s podcast it. Enjoy it and try not to remember your own childhood. It’s for the best.

The Mustache Rangers Could Not Try Harder: Episode 108

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 25 May 2009 09:00:22 +0000

It is a special day for the Mustache Rangers podcast, because we have the first of many special guests contributing their golden vocal chords for our use. And we are not stealing their vocal chords like in the Little Mermaid. We do not have the technology. Yet.

The first very special guest is Cayenne Chris Conroy of the Teknikal Diffikulties podcast. After you have given this week’s Mustache Rangers episode a listen, make sure to visit Teknikal Diffikulties and enjoy over 50 hours of audiosketch comedy.

The Mustache Rangers Sow: Episode 107

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 18 May 2009 08:00:11 +0000

Sowing and sewing can be confusing to school children. This is odd, considering that they are doing both almost constantly. The only solution is flashcards. Remember to look up the definitions in the dictionary before you make the flashcards for them, so that you are not passing on incorrect information.

The Mustache Rangers have another podcast adventure this week. Try your hardest to enjoy it.

The Mustache Rangers Get Judged: Episode 106

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:00:11 +0000

It is difficult to judge anything or anyone without being hypocritical. It is best to say “now I know I’m no saint” before passing judgment, before people can accuse you of not being a saint. You are taking away their power.

The Mustache Rangers cover many topics in this week’s podcast. Enjoy it with our full compliments.

The Mustache Rangers Are Quiet: Episode 105

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 04 May 2009 08:00:33 +0000

There is a secret to being quiet. It’s called shutting your yapper. Also, you might want to turn off Twitter.

This week’s episode of the Mustache Rangers gives you no tips on anything. Enjoy that.

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The Mustache Rangers Smile: Episode 104

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:00:39 +0000

It is spring time in space, and that means allergy time. Not many people know the nebula are actually black hole sneezes. Space pollen is a hell of a thing.

The Mustache Rangers smile in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it and share it with friends.

The Mustache Rangers Train: Episode 103

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:00:49 +0000

Training is important. But more important than training is instinct. In your next job interview, inform the interviewer that you, the interviewee, have the instinct needed for the job. If they start to question your statement, either run away or fight them. You will not get the job if you run away.

This week’s episode of the Mustache Rangers contains audio. Listen and enjoy.

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Chicago Improv Festival

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:58:49 +0000

The Mustache Rangers will be performing in Chicago this Saturday as part of the Chicago Improv Festival. We understand that this means most fans will be unable to attend the performance

But we also understand that this means some fans in the Chicago area WILL be able to attend. So here are your details!

The Mustache Rangers will be performing at the Annoyance Theater on Saturday, April 18th at midnight. For those of you who this confuses, just pretend the show starts at 11:59pm on April 18th. Now you aren’t confused.

Tickets are $10, and the Mustache Rangers would be overjoyed to see you there.

And if not you, then your friend that live in Chicago. You know, the friends that you are going to tell to see the Mustache Rangers. They’re almost as good as you. But we won’t tell them that.

The Mustache Rangers Wing It: Episode 102

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 08:00:48 +0000

Who decides if something is a metaphor? English teachers. If it were not for them, you wouldn’t need to know how to pretend to see something in nothing.

Does this week’s episode of the Mustache Rangers contain a metaphor? You had better ask Mr. Philips. You know, your high school English teacher. Enjoy!

A Mustache Rangers Live Performance and Free T-Shirts

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:37:20 +0000

The Mustache Rangers will performing LIVE this coming Monday, April 13th at the Bryant-Lake Bowl as guests of the fantastic Splendid Things improv group. It promises to be a fantastic and exciting show for all to see.

But if the promise of fantasticism isn’t enough for you, then maybe a raffle of the few remaining Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir t-shirts will peak your interest. That’s right, the last pristine Mustache Rangers t-shirts in existence will be raffled off at the Monday night Splendid Things improv show. Now you certainly have enough reasons to come.

You should also buy your tickets RIGHT NOW! Advance tickets are only $6 if you buy them at the following address before Sunday (4/12) at 11:59PM: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/58996.

You can also call the Bryant-Lake Bowl box office at 612-825-8949 for advance tickets.

Day-of tickets are $10. That’s almost (exactly) $4 dollars more for being lazy. Don’t be lazy!

Doors open at 7PM. The show starts at 8PM. Drinks and dinner are available in the theater before and during the show.

So come, laugh, and get ready to possibly win a t-shirt! Even if you lose, you win! With entertainment!

The Mustache Rangers Party: Episode 101

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 08:36:22 +0000

After 100 perfect and unarguably consistent episodes, it is time for the Mustache Rangers to let loose and party! Join them for this week’s 101st perfect podcast. And do not forget the items you need to make a party grand. Like frilly toothpicks and conversation.

The Mustache Rangers Turn 100: Episode 100

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 08:00:44 +0000

It is finally here! Over two years of podcast production have brought us to episode 100 of the Mustache Rangers.

This is a special double length episode that was recorded live at the Mix Tape Comedy show held at the ComedySportz theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Be prepared, because you will not be laughing alone. It will be like you’re in the audience of laughers! Except you are blind. And you can’t smell the fellow next to you. Also, you didn’t pay to get in. And you’re probably naked.

Thank you for your support of the Mustache Rangers. Please spread the podcasts around and let us look forward to the next 100 podcasts.

The Mustache Rangers Make Art: Episode 99

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:00:52 +0000

Many things are in the eye of the beholder. Like that eyelash that is turning the eye slowly red and swollen. And that guy has the nerve to comment critically about your hair cut? Maybe he should get that stupid eyelash out of his eye. What a big jerk.

The Mustache Rangers take on the critics this week with their ever present podcast. Enjoy it multiple times.

The Mustache Rangers Dull Fins: Episode 98

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 08:00:35 +0000

The general population tends to forget that humans are animals. The general population also tends to complain about climbing stairs. It is with these two facts that we assume the general population is dim. We are sorry, but it is proven.

The Mustache Rangers see life in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it by yourself.

The Mustache Rangers Box: Episode 97

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 08:00:13 +0000

Pugilism is a hobby you must consider the hidden costs of before partaking in. For example, those bandages are not free gifts. And water sponges to not buy themselves. You have been warned.

The Mustache Rangers present another podcast to you this week. It has been brought on to you.

Where to Find the Mustache Rangers

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:00:44 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are having a very big year, and want to make certain you are connected to all the bigness that is going on. This here is a handy guide to keep you updated.

The Mustache Rangers have a mountain full of live performances coming up this year, and there are many places you can find out about it. One option is to look towards the right sidebar of this very website. There you will find a Google Calendar that lists all of the upcoming Mustache Rangers shows. You can even use it to add reminders to your own Google Calendar. It is futuristic and beautiful.

The second option is to click on the live link at the top of the Mustache Rangers website. There you will find another list, but not as futuristic and debatably less beautiful.

Finally, if you are a Facebook user, you can sign up for the The Mustache Rangers Appreciation Society. Here you can interact with other Mustache Rangers fans, and get updated whenever a Mustache Rangers performance is coming up.

You see? There is really no excuse for you to be ill informed. If you are ill informed, you have only your own obstinance to blame.

So get informed, drop us a line, and tell some of your friends about the Mustache Rangers. We are happiest when you are happy, if it makes us happy. If your happiness is unrelated to our happiness, then we don’t see why we should have to go around smiling. It is exhausting.

Phooneybaum Phoughts: Space Date 21.27.47.27

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:47:56 +0000

Don’t know why I bothered learning to play the piano after they went extinct. This teaching cassette is almost worthless.
I have switched to decaf, but eating this non-caffeinated toast feels so pointless now.
My underpants have been bunching for the last few years, but I dare not adjust my self for fear of humiliations and fun makings.
It isn’t easy being aggressively passive.
Space laundry always gets put off until you’re out of space socks.
Quantifying how hungry a wolf is isn’t easy.

The Mustache Rangers Talk Quiche: Episode 96

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:00:57 +0000

To make an omelet, you have to break some eggs. This phrase only helps those who are concerned with the maintenance of shells. At least, that is the only conclusion we can come up with. Why else would someone be concerned about the breaking of eggs? Aside from chickens, but they aren’t eating any omelets anyways.

That being said, there is a new egg related Mustache Rangers podcast this week. Enjoy it with or without eggs.

The Mustache Rangers 100th Episode Extravaganza

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:27:49 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are gearing up for their 100th podcast episode! In fact, the episode will be recorded LIVE in front of an audience this Friday! Would you like to be part of Mustache Rangers history? Well, it’s easy! Come to the show and have your laugh recorded forever.

We would like to fill the audience as full as possible, and Mix Tape Comedy has created a special offer for all Mustache Rangers fans. Just mention the Mustache Rangers Special and you will get 2 tickets for $10 instead of the standard 1 ticket for $10 price. Bring your friend. Bring your family. Bring the cute guy waiting in line to get into the Independent. But whatever you do, don’t stay home.

Here are the details:

What: Mix Tape Comedy
Where: Comedy Sportz Theater
When: February 27th, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Price: 2 tickets for $10 if you mention the Mustache Rangers Special!
Reservations: Encouraged! Call 612-870-1230

Need we say you get to see two other fantastic improv groups perform? It’s true! HUGE Theater and Boytron, both fantastically awesome, will be performing as well.

So let’s go over this again. You get to be part of Mustache Rangers history, you get to see three amazing improv groups, and you get a special discounted ticket rate. What is stopping you? Nothing. That’s what. Make those reservations, citizens and cadets. See you there!

The Mustache Rangers Get the Royal Treatment: Episode 95

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 09:00:40 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are fast approaching their 100th podcast episode, which will be recorded in front of a live audience this Friday. If you would like to connect rings of colored construction paper together to count down that days until episode 100, that would be an okay way to celebrate.

Other ways you can celebrate are by listening to this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy!

Mustache Rangers Episode 100 Announcement

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 09:00:44 +0000

The Mustache Rangers will be recording episode 100 of their podcast in front of a live audience! This very special event will take place on February 27th, 2009 at the Mix Tape Comedy show being held at the Minneapolis ComedySportz! You should absolutely come down and be part of the experience!

What: Mix Tape Comedy
Where: Comedy Sportz Theater
When: February 20th and 27th, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Price: $10

The Mustache Rangers will also performing live on February 20th at Mix Tape Comedy. You should come to that performance as well. It’ll be special in its own way, because you will be there. Right?

The Mustache Rangers Live This Friday

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:14:14 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are visiting Earth this Friday to perform live for willing and grateful audiences. The Commander Major and First Lieutenant will reenact tales from their space adventures on the spot. Come and see these heroes out of their element but in another one of their elements.

What: Mix Tape Comedy
Where: Comedy Sportz Theater
When: February 13th, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Price: $10

The show also includes performances from three other talented improv groups. So come and enjoy laughter with other human beings on Friday the 13th, before you spend the next day alone.

(The next day is Valentine’s Day, if you were not sure. We are implying that you are lonely. It is a biting joke between friends. Enjoy that.)

The Mustache Rangers Clip It: Episode 94

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 10:00:25 +0000

Enjoy this week’s new Mustache Rangers episode about freshness, and stay tuned for new on the Mustache Rangers performing live this week.

The Mustache Rangers Exchange Fluids: Episode 93

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 09:00:12 +0000

It has come to our attention that there is little attention paid to the written word. The ears are the doors to the future of information gathering. Make sure to swab daily.

The Mustache Rangers argue in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it today.

The Mustache Rangers Care For Children: Episode 92

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 09:00:43 +0000

The Mustache Ranges grow tired of your need for the written word. Does a piece of audio really need to be accompanied by unrelated words?

In this week’s free comedy podcast, the Mustache Rangers talk about an assortments of things. Enjoy.

The Mustache Rangers Sell: Episode 91

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:00:51 +0000

We know your kind. You are the kind of person who owns a mirror they purchased at a garage sale. Not only that, you have yet to take the price tag off the four year old purchase. Why do you continue holding true to an item that screams your laziness to anyone willing to listen?

In case you need another mirror, the Mustache Rangers hold a garage sale in this week’s fantastic episode. Enjoyt. That is “enjoy it” but mushed together and missing an “i.” Isn’t that better?

The Mustache Rangers Succeed: Episode 90

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Success is nice to see, on occasion. It would be nice to see Tom catch Jerry it some point. And Heckle and Jeckle would have been thrilled to get some corn. Sometimes, seeing people or animated things happy hits your heart just right.

In today’s podcast adventure, the Mustache Rangers find moderate success. Hopefully, it will bring about the smiles your lips have been missing.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 89

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 09:00:48 +0000

It has come to our attention, via our own observation, that this area provides little to no information about the podcast episode for which it is attached. Let us see if that can not be remedied.

This week’s episode is a free comedy podcast. Please note that “comedy” is not in quotes. Except for that one. But the one before it was not.

So, please, enjoy and share the comedy with other people who do not displease you. Our thanks. And enjoy!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 88

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 09:00:07 +0000

We hope that your Terrance Day went well, and that you have purchased the correct amount of calendars for the coming year. We also hope you dream of things that aren’t monsters, because those things are scary and are a bad omen for the coming year. Science has proved it.

The Mustache Rangers smell things in this week’s podcast adventure. Enjoy it much.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 87

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:00:13 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are back in action, with the help of their helpful fans. That means it is time for a new episode, just in time for the holiday season! It’s like a present! A free present that always has been free and is free again!

Donations reached to 75% of the goal, so there is still room if you would like to support the Mustache Rangers. Just because the podcasts are back does not mean the funding is complete. The Mustache Rangers just couldn’t wait to bring new episodes to the public. So enjoy the new podcast, and consider a donation if you have not done so yet.

Donation Update and New Episodes

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:51:33 +0000

We are a touch above the halfway point in our donation drive. The show of support for the Mustache Rangers has been fantastic so far, and we’re hoping to make up the final $100 dollars with your help.

But as a show of good faith, our replacement equipment has been purchased. That means we will begin production of new Mustache Rangers episodes as quickly as possible.

We are hoping that, if you have yet to donate at this point, you will at least consider it. The Mustache Rangers has been putting out this free production for almost two years now. And we are happy to keep your ears stuffed with adventures. But we are not too proud to ask for help.

So there is your not-so-funny-but-still-exciting news update. New episodes coming soon, and donate if you find the means. Thank you, citizens and cadets alike!

Pit Stop: Chicago

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:02:39 +0000

The Mustache Rangers will be making a short stop in Chicago this weekend to lighten to mood for the sullen midwesterners. While the Mustache Rangers generally save their good-time stage antics for the timid people of Minnesota, Illinoisians will soon be able to fill their heads with live tales of real adventure.

Here are your details:

Where: The Playground Theater
Address: 3209 N Halsted Street, Chicago, IL
Time: Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 8:00pm
Price: $10.00

And you get more than just the Mustache Rangers. You get to see three groups of performers who are not the Mustache Rangers. That’s a deal and a half. Or, rather, four deals for the price of one deal.

So come to the show, if live in or around the Chicago-land area. But be careful. It is the windy city, and a politician may just blow in your ear. That means they like you.

Less Words, More Graphics, Worse Graphics, Funds

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:55:12 +0000

The head accountants at Mustache Rangers Central Command have finished counting the current donations. Actually, it’s just one accountant and he was hired specifically for donation counting. Once the goal is reached, he will be fired. But do not cry. The fund drive is nearly half-over! How much nearly half-over exactly? Well, the keen graphic bellow will tell you the story.

35% Mark

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:00:48 +0000

Just a quick update, with no graphics. Graphics take time, and time is money. So we don’t want to spend any time.

We have reached 35% of our goal. Keep it coming, boys and girls. Make Doc Johnson proud.

Another Day, Another Funds Update

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:08:54 +0000

To the delight and the shock of the Mustache Rangers, funds for functioning recording equipment have continued to roll in. We have reached the 30% mark, which is 10% more mark than yesterday.

This process may take a little longer than it would seem. Most fans of the Mustache Rangers limit their interaction to podcast downloading, and not website visiting. And that is not a dig at their process. Really, there has been little reason to come visit the website when you can automatically download the weekly podcast with little hassle. So many fans may not be seeing this entertaining message of pleading.

We hope to continue the updating of good time reading words here, to accompany the good time listening words. So along with the return of the podcast episodes, we hope to keep you entertained with daily articles on the perils and pleasures of space travel. Or recipes for things containing crust and fruit.

To wrap up this missive, we offer our humblest thanks to everyone who has donated thus far. We appreciate your efforts to make our efforts more effortless.

And, of course, the donation button can be found below.

Funding Has Started

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:27:40 +0000

After a quick first day of requesting donations, the Mustache Rangers have received their first contribution. As you can see by the hastily thrown together graphic of what might be a thermometer, donations are almost up to the $40 dollar mark. And almost $40 dollars is almost $50 dollars. That is almost almost a quarter way to the $200 goal.

If everyone who listened to the Mustache Rangers gave a single lonely dollar, the goal would be met handily. Of course, those are pie in the sky hopes. And while we do own a rocket ship, the pie seems to be forever out of reach.

To make things more reasonable, if 20 people gave $10 each, the goal could also be met. There are many ways to make numbers equal other numbers. Use your imaginations.

Well, it’s time for the Mustache Rangers to have more adventures. Unfortunately, there is still no recording device to capture their adventures. If the Mustache Rangers have adventures without a recording device to capture them, are they still incredibly amusing?

The Great Mustache Rangers Donation Request

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:06:16 +0000

The Mustache Rangers have come in to some trouble. The hardware used to record their golden voices has broken. Thus, podcasts are on hold until this issue can be resolved. The damage runs about $200, which is hard to release from space savings due to the space economy and upcoming space holidays.

One loyal civilian suggested the adding of a donation button to this website, in case other listeners who enjoy the Mustache Rangers would like to assist in the fund raising. So here it is. The PayPal button for those who love the Mustache Rangers and would like to support the creation of future podcasts.

That is it. Watch next week for more information on the fund drive and the Mustache Ranger’s special live performance in Chicago on December 13th. Keep healthy, cadets!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 86

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:00:49 +0000

Let us lay it on the line. The Mustache Rangers are loved by all. As long as we can agree to that, we will be fine. All other conversation is simply warm sound, after that argument has been put to rest.

The Mustache Rangers argue about clothing once again in this week’s episode. Bring it to your ears.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 85

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:00:51 +0000

It is Monday. You know the routine. Read these words, that have nothing to do with this week’s podcast, and then listen to the podcast. Or don’t read these words at all. It matters not.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 84

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:00:13 +0000

Some things are difficult to believe. For example, jelly is made not of fruit but of tree bark. Training wheels only line the pockets of training wheel producing companies. Night time is when the sun does it with the moon.

It is not difficult to believe that the Mustache Rangers have another podcast episode for you this week. We hope that you love expertly done impressions.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 83

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:00:10 +0000

Good times are not meant to be had. They are to be taken. You can not simply wait for them to happen, or expect that you deserve them. Real men make their own good times. Women probably do this too, but we have not funded any research to prove positive one way or the other.

The Mustache Rangers talks about precious stones in this week’s podcast episode. It is enjoyable for all!

Fan Art: Christopher Jones and Melissa Kaercher

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:09:14 +0000

At long last, wizards Christopher Jones and Melissa Kaercher have captured the Mustache Rangers and shrunk them into tiny hand painted plastic avatars.

This has been a lie, for your entertainment. These two talented creatures are not wizards, but human beings with skills in the graphical arts. The tiny hand painted plastic avatars bit was not a farce, as you can see by the picture. We apologize. We should have made our lies and not lies more clear.

Christopher and Melissa have done art for comics such as Dr. Blink: Superhero Shrink and many others. We are not here to makes lists for you. We have provided you links to their websites. Be not lazy and check out their impressive portfolios yourselves.

Thank you, kind wizards, for returning the Mustache Rangers to their correct fleshy feel and size. Did we say that Christopher and Melissa were not wizards? That was a lie!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 82

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:00:52 +0000

The Mustache Rangers were on one of their many missions last week. Sometimes, duty gets in the way of updating podcasts. But rest assured, the podcast was not late due to hate. There was not hate involved in any way.

The Mustache Rangers love you. They also wish you wouldn’t do that one bad thing you keep doing. You know.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 81

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:00:10 +0000

Every single moment has the possibility of greatness. Instead of sitting there, doing nothing, you could punch the fella next to you. Odds are, they are asking for it. But be quick. Odds also show that he is a fan of the Mustache Rangers and is reading the exact same sentence. You had best hope his brain is slower than yours. Really, isn’t that enough cause for a punching?

The Mustache Rangers bring a spoonful of sass to this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it with a spoonful of Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 80

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:52:54 +0000

Death is never an easy topic of conversation. Unless it is in referring to a squirrel. “Did that squirrel just die,” Benefred Pasterborf would ask. “It certainly did,” Tranzer Fadingtoncon would reply. “Fan-tastic,” Geraldert Fosterpant would add. Do you see? Only talk about the deaths of squirrels and your conversation will be as crisp as an item the is crisp.

The Mustache Rangers refer to non-squirrel death in this week’s podcast episode. Beware its lack of social formalities.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 79

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:00:52 +0000

Rock formations are boring. They are only slightly interesting if they look like something that is not a rock. But still, it’s just a rock that looks like something. Why not look at that thing? Also, if seahorses don’t freak you out, they should. Those things are profoundly messed up.

The Mustache Rangers deal with a situation into this week’s podcast. You will soon find yourself in a listening situation.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 78

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:00:11 +0000

There is little in life more important than a favorite outfit. Scraps of colored cloth can make you feel invincible against the daily tragedy that is life. That statement also leaves out the immeasurable feeling brought upon by a perfect fit. Like everything in the known universe, it all boils down to hugging.

The Mustache Rangers deal with clothing, exciting clothing, in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it with clothes.

The Mustache Rangers in person this weekend

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:54:20 +0000

Gasoline can be expensive, and going to grand mama’s house can cost a pretty penny. Now imagine that Earth is grand mama’s house and you are light years away. That is one pricey trip.

But the Mustache Rangers make this trip gladly and with little to much bickering. The Mustache Rangers will be performing live on a well lit stage this weekend for your enjoyment! Find the details below.

What: Improv a Go-Go
Where: Brave New Workshop
When: September 7, 2008 at 8pm
Price: $1

Did you find the details? Now they are above. Boy, you really are a mess. You should come see some live comedy this weekend. That will straighten you right out. See details above above.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 77

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 09:00:04 +0000

Sometimes the simplest answer is not always the best. For example, if a friend of yours owns something that you would like and you think they don’t deserve, don’t blow it up. That would be the easy thing to do. The proper solution, in this circumstance, is theft. It is not the first place your mind would jump. High explosives are always there to get the job done. But a little bit of time spent on stealing can really increase the amount of things you have.

The Mustache Rangers don’t deal with stealing in this week’s episode. Enjoy it for now!

Featured Fan Art by John Wallace

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:14:19 +0000

Citizen, and relative unknown, John Wallace has taken time out of designing magazine ads for ladies undergarment undergarments (“Two layers, because one is breachable!”) to favor us with his rendition of the Mustache Rangers.

What Citizen Wallace has done here is really quite brilliant. As you can plainly see, Commander Major and First Lieutenant are represented by eggs. Not literal eggs, of course. The drawing seems to be done by simple graphite rubbings, not smeared ovum and membranes. But the Mustache Rangers seem to be represented in egg form, with oval bodies and heads.

Jallace (J minus Ohn plus Wallace minus W) is giving us art and also instructions on creating delicious hors d’Å“uvres. All you need is eggs, toothpicks, and dried parsley. Lots and lots of dried parsley! Your guests (if you have no friends) will be delighted with your creative and tasty treats! And you, in turn, can thank Jallace.

Thank you, Citizen Jallace, for your support.

Fan art will be accepted from all in the mustacherangers@gmail.com electric message depository.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 76

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:00:29 +0000

The market can be a very confusing place. People are yelling. Monies are exchanging hands. Sometimes there are open mouth kisses. It is a sea limbs, one can get lost. It is good to be tethered and blindfolded when going into a market. In fact, this is a good idea for any situation.

The Mustache Rangers have another brand new adventure today. But, really, what is new anymore? Regardless, you’ll probably enjoy it. Enjoy!

Featured Fan Art by Adam Svec

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:30:59 +0000

Citizen Adam Svec of citizen rock group The Glad Version has taken it upon himself to favor the Mustache Rangers with his non-musical artistry.

As you can clearly see, the picture features some sort of banana in a dress heading towards a flaming egg which is prepared for fertilization. The best art needs no interpretation.

This piece is actually more of a thinly veiled commentary on the over utilization of sandwich holders in non-regulation space vehicles. Citizen Svec is obviously aware of the Mustache Rangers and their heartfelt ties to this cause.

We hope this does not need to be restated, but please please please do not install too many sandwich holders in your custom made non-regulation space traveling vehicles.

Thank you, Citizen Adam, for your support.

Fan art will be accepted from all in the mustacherangers@gmail.com electric message depository.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 75

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:00:03 +0000

The dust has settled, and the Mustache Rangers are back. Rest assured, adventures were being had during the entire absence. There were some incredible happenings. It is a shame you missed them. But, please, do enjoy the most recent episode.

Excuse Our Space Dust

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:03:34 +0000

It seems that in upgrading the software for this glorious website, things become a bit broken. No podcasts can be attached to these posts, which means no new episodes can currently be posted.

Rest assured, there are podcasts to be posted. We just can’t do it! We will get this fixed as soon as possible. And when we say “get this fixed,” we mean we’ll wait around until someone makes a fix and we can implement it.

Hugs and kisses, minus the kisses,
Mustache Rangers Central Command

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 74

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:00:12 +0000

The world is a terrible place and we are all cursed. If you found yourself nodding to the previous sentence, you have failed the test. You can take it over as many times as you would like. We understand that things get heavy.

The Mustache Rangers throw a lot of ideas against the wall in today’s internetpod netpodcastnet. Enjoy it with salted tea.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 73

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:00:07 +0000

The only thing quieter than a rock sitting all by itself is mime pretending to be a rock sitting all by itself. And we’re talking about a professional mime here. Not your weekend birthday party mime. Another note, as long as we’re talking here. Children do not like mimes.

The Mustache Rangers deal with a little silence today, but really there is a lot of talking. Enjoy the interpod netcast.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 72

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 07:00:58 +0000

Every once in a blue moon (when the Lords of America decide to paint the moon, generally once ever decade), you get a really good hamburger. And it kind of makes you wonder why you’ve been eating vegetables at all. But then, the next hamburger you get is just “okay” again. At least you’ll have the memory of that one hamburger.

The Mustache Rangers consume no food in this week’s episode. We hope that information didn’t make you sad.

The Mighty Quote Index

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:09:35 +0000

The creation of a mighty Mustache Rangers quote index is underway. Soon, you will be able to say, “oh drat. I know something funny was said at some point, but can not, for the life of me, remember when it was said.” And then, after you say this, you will be able to use the magic of indexing to help your shoddy memory.

But this process becomes even easier with you, the listener. If you have any favorite quotes, please list them and which episodes they appear in. Then, when your mind eventually fails, you will have electricity and metal to help you remember.

You can leave a comment with your indexable quote, or email the Mustache Rangers at mustacheranger@gmail.com. Either way, thank you for doing some of our work for us. We are very busy killing things that are different from us.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 71

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 10:00:33 +0000

If space were not nothing, it would be totally in your face. It would, for example, be all, like, what is up? It would be quite overwhelming, if it weren’t such a massive amount of emptiness. Given any mass, it would be the person you avoid at most well planned parties.

The Mustache Rangers have another adventure, of sorts, in today’s interpod netcast internet podcast. Cast.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 70

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:00:42 +0000

After achieving everything they wanted to do on Earth at the Twin Cities Improv Festival, the Mustache Rangers have once again left fertile ground for the thankless embrace of space. There is no applause in space. There isn’t really anything in space.

The Mustache Rangers bring you an new podcast adventure today, full of action and movement and plot. Or not. Enjoy!

Twin Cities Improv Festival

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:17:28 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are racing time and space to make it back to Earth for the Twin Cities Improv Festival. There may be alien civilizations to conquer, but the people of Earth can have morale issues and need an evening of mandatory cheer every now and again.

The Mustache Rangers will be dispensing cheer as they recount tales of their space adventures live on the Brave New Workshop stage. You should come and enjoy the Mustache Rangers, along with many of the other delightful troupes at the Twin Cities Improv Festival.

You may find your Mustache Rangers related time information below.

When: June 29th, 2008, 8PM CST
Where: Twin Cities Improv Festival
2605 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55408
Price: $10

See you soon, Cadets!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 69

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:00:45 +0000

Get your giggling out of your lungs, because the sixty-ninth episode of the Mustache Rangers is here for our mutual pleasure. If you enjoy the running of marathons, or hate them, or feel no way whatsoever about them, you will enjoy this week’s episode. If you have no feelings at all, then we ask that our deaths be quick and painless.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 68

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:00:24 +0000

As mentioned in the podcast for today, the Mustache Rangers would like your help to spread their words. Today, you can do three things. Tell 5 people about the Mustache Rangers. Digg the Mustache Rangers. Leave positive feedback for the Mustache Rangers on iTunes.

It’s that easy. Do all or one of them, but don’t you dare do none. Now, enjoy this week’s episode!