Miskatonic University: Netherworld Annex

Weekend Writing Warriors 22 March 2020 (PA, SF)

2020-03-21T09:56:00.001-06:00

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The previous snippet in this series can be found here. A pair of Cockney ghouls visiting the carnival in Xura have just noticed Ketil Nagel, a spectral death metal musician with a storied reputation, outside the infamous Xura Dream House with Yitzy, a renegade member of the Great Race of Yith.

The stout ghoul’s companion was small and impish. He wore a similar outfit to his companion: a reddish-brown newsboy cap, a gray sweater over a collared shirt, and a pair of ragged blue trousers. His clawed feet were bare as well. His large ears were pointed with tufts of white hair at the tips. Strands of coarse white hair peeked out from beneath his newsboy cap.

“I daresay, Rob, old China, coming to Xura was just the thing,” the portly ghoul declared, his voice surprisingly mellifluous despite his thick Cockney accent. “I’ve not had a haunch so perfectly trimmed with gold in an age! I simply don’t know why we ain’t done this before.”

~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~

Weekend Writing Warriors 15 March 2020 (PA, SF)

2020-03-14T21:20:00.001-06:00

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This snippet comes from Team Netherworld's novella Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House. The previous snippet in this series can be found here.

Ketil Nagel is the spirit of a Swedish death metal musician who sacrificed himself to the vampire goddess Mormo on his 25th birthday, 6 June 1991.

Yitzy Yithian is an exiled alien scientist.

This unusual pair has traveled to Xura, the Land of Lost Dreams, in the hopes of finding a way to save the Cosmos.

As Ketil and Yitzy discussed their shared mission and the pros and cons of entering the House of Lost Dreams, they were unaware that they were being watched. A pair of ghouls had wandered over from the carnival which ran day and night, three hundred and sixty-five days per year. These longtime chums hailed from London and had never previously visited Xura.

The pair looked for all the world as if Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy had made a pact with nefarious forces to become ghouls upon their departure from the world of the living. One ghoul was tall and remarkably burly. He wore a faded green and brown checked newsboy cap, a tattered gray cable-knit sweater over a threadbare collared shirt, and ragged brown trousers. His clawed feet were bare. His skin was grayish-green, and he had an extended snout and small, sharp ears which poked out from the sides of his newsboy cap.

~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~

Little John Tamboli

Image Source

Robin Roberts

Image copyright Chaosium

Wordy Thursday: Platonic Friendships are Important

2020-02-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

The Ornery Old Lady is not a fan of WordPress.

Wordpress' overly aggressive Spam filter is the bane of my existence on many occasions. I attempted to leave the following comment on this post about the best fictional couples. The comment may have gone to a moderation queue, but I suspect it was eaten as Spam.

Here is my comment.

My most recently published work is a buddy story rather than a romance, but I guess one could say there's a lot of bromance in this book.

There's a fun pairing between a human ghost and a Lovecraftian creature who meet up with a couple of ghouls who are longtime friends. This odd bunch form a quartet on a quest to save the Universe from itself.

The older I get, the more I prefer to write about platonic bonds rather than romantic ones. Romance seems so often to contain a toxic and possessive undertone. Admissibly, I may just be old and bitter. I never was any good at romance in real life.

Here are some further thoughts, and a bit of shameless self-promotion.

The Dreamlands Bro Squad consists of:

Ketil Nagel, the spirit of a Swedish underground metal vocalist who sacrificed himself to the vampire goddess Mormo on 6 June 1991, when he was 25 years old.

Robin Roberts, a ghoul who was a petty thief during his lifetime. Robin perished in London during the influenza pandemic of 1918. He morphed into a ghoul due to dabbling in the wrong magic for the right reasons.

John Tamboli, a ghoul who in life made what money he could by doing a variety of odd jobs. He wasn't particular about the legality of the jobs he was hired for. John also perished in London during the influenza pandemic and morphed into a ghoul for similar reasons to Robin's.

"Yitzy," a member of the Great Race of Yith. Yithians in their best-known form are long-lived asexual creatures who reproduce infrequently by means of spores. Yitzy is not in any way bothered by being perceived as masculine and would not be bothered by being perceived as feminine.

There is not one sliver, scad, or iota of romantic interaction in this novella. But there is bromance aplenty.

I find that platonic friendships tend to take a backseat to romantic ties. I feel that this is a shame. Bromance, sisterly love, and opposite-sex platonic friendships are just as important as romantic bonds.

~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~

Ornery Owl

Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors

Notes:

The Great Race of Yith were created by H.P. Lovecraft.

The ghouls referenced in this post are Lovecraftian ghouls.

Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House is FREE For Five Days!

2020-01-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Don't blink or you'll miss it!

In fact, don't blink until you've clicked the preview link and grabbed your FREE copy of Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House. But hurry, this deal is only available between January 5 and January 9, 2020.

This unique novella is the first in a hopefully long-running series of New Cthulhu Mythos cliffhangers with that special blend of emotion, humor, and suspense that only Team Netherworld can provide.

In this snappy story, the spectral sorcerer Ketil Nagel sets out on a quest to save the cosmos from an ancient evil. During his short, miserable time on Earth in his most recent incarnation, Ketil was an underground metal musician who sacrificed himself to the vampire goddess Mormo on his twenty-fifth birthday, 6 June 1991. While searching for answers on the dead world Zetar 6, otherwise known as Zecor, Ketil encounters a renegade Yithian scientist. The pair decide that working together would benefit them both, and they set out for the cursed land of Xura, located in the storied Dreamlands of the Earth realm.

While preparing to enter the forboding Dream House, Ketil and Yitzy are approached by a pair of adventuring ghouls. "Little John" and "Robin Hood" are longtime chums who dabbled in the wrong magic for the right reasons and were transformed into ghouls following their demise during the influenza pandemic of 1918.

The four unlikely heroes join forces and step into the Dream House, where many perils and gateways to other worlds await them. Will they emerge triumphant, or will they wind up being just another group of desperate victims who go missing in the infamous structure?

If you enjoy suspenseful tales with a spine-tingling atmosphere and unexpected heroes, be sure to pick up your copy of this one-of-a-kind adventure today! Just click the preview link to check it out and make it yours.

~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~

Content Adviser

This book is rated R. It contains strong adult themes including suicide and torture. It includes frequent paranormal elements and contains scenes of gore and sci-fi terror. There is copious use of heavy profanity. The story contains no sex scenes, gratuitous or otherwise.

Friday Flashback + Snippet Sunday + Weekend Writing Warriors 5 January 2020

2020-01-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Weekend Writing Warriors

Also Sharing With:

This post was originally published on 3 January 2019. The text of the post has not been changed, the notes have been updated.

The following is a snippet from Sanguine and Scandalous, the eighth installment in the Carnal Invasion series. Our previous snippet from this tale can be found here.

The journey to the material realm proved to be a bumpy ride. In choosing the most clandestine path, the magical reindeer ended up dodging asteroids and evading various extraterrestrial flotsam and jetsam before swooping in for a landing in the alley behind Xquenda Jewels Headquarters. Tinsel staggered forth from the sleigh and dropped to the ground in a faint.

Fortunately for the depleted elf, he was spotted by the benevolent Pythios, who at once recognized him as a mythical being. The genial security guard hurried to Tinsel’s side.

“Certainly, you must be of the same kind as my friend Teacake!” Pythios remarked as he helped Tinsel onto the seat of the sleigh. “Perhaps you are even this brother of whom he speaks so high. Ah, but we cannot allow the awful masters of this place to see you. Devils they are, and I come to think I mean this in a literal sense.”

Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press

Notes:

The book that this snippet is taken from contains explicit erotic material, none of it featuring Tinsel the Elf, Teacake the Elf, or Pythios the Security Guard. This book is part of the Carnal Invasion collection of erotic stories from Naughty Netherworld Press.

Friday Flashback + Fat Friday: Dreaming of a Mythos Xmahanukwanzyule

2019-12-20T13:41:00.001-07:00

This post was originally published on 20 December 2011 on the Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex blog, which is currently in use as one of my private cataloging blogs. I am updating the post to include reactions to this lovely Xmahanukwanzyule tree, which is currently set up in President Cthulhu's office at the Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex main branch in Nightmare Heights, Netherworld.

Beavis: Hey, Butthead, that tree touched my butt!

Butthead: Beavis, that tree would kick your butt, you bumhug.

Visit the Artist

Cactus Clem: Grover, I feel a kinship with this here tree. It speaks to me!

Visit the Artist

Ghost Town Grover: When Cactus Clem says this here tree speaks to him, I'm purty sure he means that literal-like. It ain't said nary a word to me, but I kinda feel like it's watching me.

Sketch of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft

So, why are we making this a Fat Friday post?

Because EVERY BODY deserves to have a Happy Xmahanukwanzyule free of body-shaming bullshit. That includes everyone from the mighty Cthulhu to YOU!

Happy Xmahanukwanzyule to All

And to all a good XHAGRALLLGHHHNZZZZ!

IÄ, IÄ!

Special thanks to the handy Alt Codes page.

WEP December 2019 Challenge: Footprints

2019-12-11T08:10:00.002-07:00

Image by Alex Kovalerov from Pixabay

Genre: Paranormal

Word Count: 1000

Full critique okay, so long as you use the Hamburger Method. Medium well with mustard is nice, and I'll have fries and an unsweetened iced tea with that.

I know that Jimmy Buffett likes his burgers medium rare with mustard, but this is a point on which Jimmy and I differ. I like my meat thoroughly cooked.

*************

When Dr. Alberta Wilmarth, the Dean of the Miskatonic Department of Archaeology approached Andre Linden to renovate the old Curran Mansion on behalf of the University, he gladly accepted. The one-time thief hoped that having his name attached to the project would attract clients to his struggling construction company. Andre had served one year of a five-year sentence twelve years previously after being caught robbing an import warehouse off Boston Harbor.

Andre had never committed any violent crimes, but being an ex-convict was still a strike against him. In a town like Arkham, everyone knew everyone else’s business. Nonetheless, Andre felt that his business stood a better chance of thriving in the upstate area of Massachusetts than the bustling anonymity of Boston.

Andre was forty-one years old, tall and lean with a chiseled, angular face and graying brown hair with a receding hairline. He sometimes noticed women glancing at him but was unsure if they were appreciating what they saw or just sizing him up.

Dr. Wilmarth hired Andre on Thanksgiving Eve. She hoped that the Curran Mansion could be pulled together enough for Miskatonic’s anthropology and archaeology departments to have their New Year’s Eve party there. Andre told the professor that he’d see what he could do. She was a nice woman and he was sure that she knew her stuff when it came to archaeology, but like most people outside of the industry, she was unaware of the holdups that red tape could cause when it came to even seemingly simple renovation projects.

Alone on Thanksgiving night and wanting to distract himself, Andre headed to the Curran Mansion to draw up a rough plan for the project. The power had been turned off long ago, but his powerful hand torch illuminated everything. At least on the main floor, although all was covered in a thick layer of dust, the structure seemed intact.

Andre was surprised by the sounds of laughter and celebration. He supposed that local kids might be using the old place to party and hoped that the appearance of a gruff-looking middle-aged man might be enough to scare them off. As he headed for the stairs, he noticed that the backyard was lit up bright as day. Curious, he hurried outside.

Andre found himself in the middle of a wedding reception. A striking blonde woman in a silky white gown approached him, smiling. He was struck by the sadness in her deep blue eyes and reduced to the social aptitude of a stammering adolescent when he attempted to apologize for intruding.

“H…hello, Ma’am. Andre…um…me. Uh…Andre Linden, I am, that is. Construction. Um…sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here. I came to fix a thing—um—things. How could I not have noticed that…”

“It’s all right, Andre,” the woman interrupted, touching his hand. “I’m Hazel Curran. We’re celebrating my twin sister Hattie’s wedding today. Last year my brother Henry got married.”

“And you?” Andre inquired. “Surely such a lovely lady…”

Hazel’s shimmering laughter contrasted with the pain and fear in her eyes, and when she threw back her head in mirth, Andre noticed an angry red scar dotted with bumpy pockmarks marring her porcelain skin. Hazel collected herself and linked her arm in Andre’s.

“My fellow, Torrey, keeps pushing me to marry but I don’t know if I want to so soon,” Hazel confessed. “I’d like to live a bit before becoming a wife. Oh, Andre, I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that you can help me find something.”

“Of course,” Andre agreed, allowing Hazel to lead him into the house. “What are we looking for?”

“My pearl necklace,” Hazel explained. “Well, the remnants of it anyway. It was a gift from my old school chum Kenneth for my birthday. It was perfectly innocent—Ken is a man’s man if you take my meaning—but Torrey lost his senses and snatched it off my neck. He made such an ugly scene. Ken is truly a dear, and I felt just awful. I’d love to get the necklace repaired.”

“Do you remember where you lost the necklace, Hazel?” Andre asked as Hazel led him to the basement.

“It was over there,” Hazel said, pointing to the right corner of the back wall.

Andre felt as if someone had dragged a knife made of ice up his spine. Moisture had eroded the wooden floor and the wet earth bulged through the holes. A fetid odor permeated his nostrils. The light from his torch illuminated pearls dotting the soil.

A rusting shovel lay in the dirt. Andre picked it up and began digging like a man possessed. The shovel struck something hard. Andre continued digging until he had unearthed a skeleton. The remnants of a scarf were wrapped around the neck and pearls dotted the soil surrounding it. Strands of golden hair still attached to mummified skin were revealed as Andre pushed the soil away from the gruesome discovery.

Andre awoke in the hospital to see a worried Dr. Alberta Wilmarth at his bedside writing a note.

“Oh, Mr. Linden, whatever possessed you to go to that place alone at night?” she asked. “When they found you, you were nearly dead from hypothermia. It’s a good thing that woman flagged down the patrol car or you might well have frozen to death.”

“What woman?” Andre inquired, feeling the icy knife run up his spine again.

“Well, it’s a bit of a mystery,” Dr. Wilmarth replied. “Officer Chevalier told me that a glamorous blonde woman in a white party dress flagged him down at the end of the mansion’s driveway. She led him to the basement, and when he turned to speak with her, she’d disappeared.”

“Dr. Wilmarth, I found…”

Dr. Wilmarth gently squeezed Andre’s hand.

“Mr. Linden, you found the remains of Hazel Curran, who went missing on November 28, 1928,” she revealed. “What made you decide to dig there?”

“She did,” Andre revealed. “I followed the pearls from her necklace. They led me right to her grave.”

~Cie~

Miskatonic University is the creation of H.P. Lovecraft.

Dr. Alberta Wilmarth is a nod to Albert Wilmarth, the narrator in Lovecraft's 1931 tale, The Whisperer in Darkness. She is Albert's niece.

A Special Request:

I would not normally do this, but I need a little help. I am currently running a Battle of the Poems to choose which of my poems will go into the final document for the November PAD Chapbook Challenge. At this point, I only have one voter, the wonderful Elephant's Child.

All I need is for people to choose which poem they prefer of the two poems offered in each day's post. No critique is necessary although you can provide one if you want.

The battle is running all month on the Horror Harridans Writing Sisterhood blog. Please come vote!

Meet the Mythos Mob

2019-01-06T07:54:00.002-07:00

Portrait of Professor Cthulhu copyright Waldkunst

The Netherworld is a place of acceptance and tolerance. Unfortunately, the true crime novels penned by Professor H.P. Lovecraft during his lifetime, while excellent pieces of investigative journalism, ended up revealing only one side of the Beings from Beyond the Stars. Thus, many creatures fear our kind, being familiar with only the criminal element among us.

It is our goal to promote a different image of Those From Beyond the Stars. We are just like anyone else: some bad and some badasses with hearts of gold. I, Professor Cthulhu, welcome you to learn more about the good side of the Great Old Ones and some of our friends such as the ass-kicking Peggy Sue Unearthly, a Xenomorph Diva with plenty of soul who snarls out brutal a.f. lyrics with the one and only Death Cheese.

We welcome you to enjoy the exploits of a different kind of Mythos Mob. We are the badasses with hearts of gold.

By the way, about that Stars are Right thing. I was waiting for the perfect lineup of constellations to occur so I could photograph them. Furthermore, Cthulhu is a title achieved by greater Star Spawn. However, humans would find it impossible to pronounce my given name. Thus, I simplify things and use said title as my name.

Please join us as we publish various exciting occurrences and occasional serials featuring the Mythos Mob, right here on our very own blog. We hope you will enjoy learning more about the Kind Side of Those from Beyond the Stars!

Yours in Positivity and Diversity,

Professor Cthulhu

Dreaming of a Mythos Xmahannukwanzyule

2011-12-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

Preparing for Halloween

2011-10-16T02:29:00.000-06:00

The Cats of Ulthar are getting the decorations ready for Halloween.

Did you know that black cats are in danger during October because of ignorance and stupidity on the part of some people?

The Cats of Ulthar don't like that.

Neither do I.

When the Stars are Right, they will NOT be eaten first.

The Cats of Ulthar

2011-10-15T08:49:00.000-06:00

Worth 666,666,666 Words

2011-01-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

Meativity Scene

2010-12-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know that it's Mythos related, but it really is unspeakable--blasphemous even! I will probably be smote any minute now for the fact that I keep smirking at it.

Big Sale at Hal's Club!

2010-11-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

On Sale in Hal's Club Toy Department

2010-09-17T12:26:00.000-06:00

Super Creepy Sumerian Mythos Dolls

Credits: Robert Brockaway

Cthulhu Brings What You Deserve

2009-12-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

Warning Sign

2009-10-22T16:00:00.002-06:00

The warning sign at the door of the Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex

Professor Cthulhu does not have tolerance for stupidity. He had this warning sign placed at the entrance to Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex. Professor Cthulhu wishes to make it clear that all morons will be eaten. Ia, Ia! All hail Professor Cthulhu!
--Peter Piper

Ode to Cthulhu

2009-10-22T03:08:00.002-06:00

The Spammy Pipers perform an ode to Cthulhu at Miskatonic University for Homecoming.

Rabbit Rabbit

2009-09-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

If Lovecraft Had Ghost-Written Twilight

2009-08-15T02:35:00.003-06:00

Have you ever thought to yourself how much cooler Twilight would be if only Lovecraft had ghost-written it? Well, apparently, Lovecraft thought the same thing. So he's back from the grave, working on making Twilight less full of purple prose and more full of hideous things from beyond the stars. Check out his progress so far.

The Stars are Right

2009-07-22T20:35:00.002-06:00

Stolen Here

Rabbit Revenge

2009-06-10T03:35:00.003-06:00

TO SEE MORE OF KAI SPANNUTH'S VERY COOL ARTWORK, CLICK THIS LINK

I ran over a rabbit yesterday morning and feel rather bad about it. I was driving at about 50 MPH along Highway 7 on my way home from work when this rabbit decided to make his way out into the road. I swerved to avoid him--actually went all the way over to the wrong side of the road, as there was nothing coming towards me--but he managed to keep coming and I clipped him with my back wheel. I couldn't bring myself to look back. I'm quite sure that with a one ton car vs. a 5-ish pound rabbit, the little dude is history.
I feel bad enough as it is, but to make matters worse, I now find myself worrying that this Mythos-looking rabbit shown in the above photograph may be stalking me to avenge its unfortunate hit-and-run victim kin. I'm sorry, Mutant Mythos Rabbit--truly, I am! Please don't drag me down to your burrow and sacrifice me to Nyogtha or whatever eldritch horror your kind worships!

The Outsider

2009-05-20T04:07:00.003-06:00

Here is a rendition of The Outsider with pictures and music for your enjoyment.

Buried Treasure

2009-03-25T15:27:00.001-06:00

Unfortunately I haven't had time or working brain cells to work on this site of late, but here is a link to a story that will make you laugh, cry, and shout IA at the top of your lungs.

Deep One Hybrids who have not yet started to change

2009-01-18T04:31:00.000-07:00