The Nancing Pony

Prince Charles = Dr. Who?

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 08:41:00 +0000

Prince Charles has angered British TV maverick Russell T. Davis by turning down a part in Welsh BBC series Dr. Who.

According to Globe and Mail, Clarence House told the BBC, "We receive a great many requests and it's impossible to accept them all." Oh really? Well that's probably true.

But MAYBE it's because Charles IS Dr. Who. Think about it. Have you ever seen them in a room together?

Davies responded to the snub by labelling the Prince a "miserable swine" in a joking reference to the heir to the throne's favourite radio show. But it turns out the Prince didn't turn down the offer--Clarence House did, automatically.

So will we see a royal cameo in the near future? Only the doctor knows ...

Because all black people look the same ...

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:51:00 +0000

... To studio execs.

The Hollywood Reporter, er, reports, that Don Cheadle has signed up to replace Terrence Howard as Jim Rhodes (War Machine) in the sequel to this summer's blockbuster comic adaptation, Iron Man.

Listen, everyone loves Don Cheadle, but did Marvel execs really feel Terrence Howard was expendable? Sure Cheadle has an Oscar and Howard's only been nominated, but you can't exactly replace Cate Blanchett with Ellen Page just because they're both white chicks. Howard had the right look and the right attitude, and most importantly he was great in Iron Man. We're not exactly talking Katie Holmes here.

Rumors suggest "financial differences" were the main reason behind the casting change -- amongst other unidentified issues. Which would be what exactly? They didn't feel like paying a black actor enough to keep him around? They're shelling out for Gwyneth Paltrow, and the only thing she's done lately is pop out a few Coldplay kids.

Besides, considering how much this sequel is sure to make, there's no reason to be stingy.

Terrence Howard is more than capable of carrying a big studio film. He's handsome, well-built, and though he has a bitchy reputation (who in hollywood doesn't?), he has the personality to pull off a super hero. Does Don Cheadle?

Hopefully more details will come out about this completely unnecessary change up. Until then we're waiting for answers -- and hope you will too.

Twilight Trailer leaks. Fans rejoice. Vamps rejuice.

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:51:00 +0000

So unless you've been living under a rock -- or could care less, like most people over the age of 15 -- the Twilight trailer has been leaked on YouTube. Hurray?

Unfortunately it doesn't show too much, so if you're starting to develop ~*sparkling*~ blue balls in anticipation of any hot and heavy Bella/Edward action (and face it, you'll have to wait 3 more movies and 6 more years for that to happen. If Breaking Dawn can even be filmed, that is), check out that other werewolf-vampire-angsty girl love triangle, True Blood, currently showing Sundays on HBO.

Considering how similar the two series are (Okay, okay. They're different. Bella is a speshul snowflake and Edward can't read her mind, and Bill is a speshul snowflake and Sookie can't read his mind. Happy now?) it wouldn't be far fetched to take the Harlequin Romance Novel inspired True Blood mid-season finale and paste poor Kristen Stewart and R Pattz's heads over Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer. Hey, they'd be more attractive!

For all you spoilerphobics out there, avoid the following if you don't want to ruin the episode:

PS -- as my roommate discovered, the scene plays much better to Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights. I voted Ennio Morricone's Ecstacy of Gold, though in retrospect I Will Come To You is probably the best match.

At least it wasn't the Solex Agitator!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:37:00 +0000

If only Scaramanga could cap a bitch. Unfortunately for him, the Golden Gun, his legendary weapon (valued at a surprising $148,000) has gone missing from the props house at former Bond home, Elstree Studios. Who could have done such a thing?

Tattoo? Octopussy? Mrs. Sellers? That one guy?

Bond star Roger Moore suspects The Man with the Golden Gun himself, Christopher Lee, joking: "search his house!" Personally, we'd put money on the Turkish belly dancer. Bond jacked her shit and she deserves something in return other than coy innuendo. Or VD.

Lord British ... in SPACE!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:00:00 +0000

This guy is smarter and richer than you.

Lord of video games, Richard Garriott, rocketed off this weekend on a trip to outer space. (Perhaps scouting locations for the next Ultima game?)

The millionaire king of nerds paid a hefty sum to be the 6th space tourist in history, blasting off from Kazahkstan on Sunday to spend two weeks participating in research before his return on October 24th. Garriott follows in the footsteps of his father, Owen, an astronaut who worked on the US owned Skylab in the early 1970's. Pretty cool, actually.

Space travel was always a dream of the young Garriott, who spent most of his childhood and teenage years programming video games in his bedroom. He created the highly successful Ultima series in 1980, when he was only 19 years old.

According to Yahoo news reports, Garriott's shuttle carries "the digitized DNA sequences of some of the world's greatest thinkers and musicians — as well as athletes, video game players and others."

Video game players?

See mom, it's not a waste of time!

Let Me Tell You About My Mother

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:05:00 +0000

Okay, writers of the heartwrenching and majestic Eagle Eye: you have our attention. And we all want to decapitate you. Happy now?

For those of you who haven't heard the news, according to Slashfilm spies who attended a G&A hosted by Creative Screenwriting (which my inbox says was on the 25th) two of the film's douchebag writers, Travis Wright and John Glenn, the same douches who're currently rewriting The Warriors, have been putting together a Blade Runner sequel for the past couple years.

Excuse me?

YES, they said BLADE RUNNER. SEQUEL. TO BLADE RUNNER. Luckily they're shit writers (obviously) so the likelyhood that this might get made is small. But I saw dollar signs in the eyes of the WB execs I told last November that I'd seen the Final Cut in theaters three times in one week. Regardless though ...

WHAT THE FUCK?

Does Leon have to bust a cap in these guys? Because I'll dig up Brion James and reanimate him just to do so. Hell, I'd take one for the team and do it myself. Since they're no doubt familiar with The Warriors by this point -- at least we'd hope -- they should know that they've basically killed Cyrus in this town, so they better watch their backs if they actually plan to pitch this thing around town.

The worst part about the proposed film and the pretentious c**twaffles behind it is that, unlike Spaceablanca this project is DEAD SERIOUS. These assholes actually think that they can make a SEQUEL to BR and HAVE IT NOT SUCK.

Well let's see. Besides creativity and class, these guys seem to be lacking:

- Rutger Hauer
- Harrison Ford
- Ridley Scott
- David Peoples (who wrote Unforgiven)
- A NOVEL BY PHILIP K DICK

But I'm sure they can, you know, cast Shia LaBeouf and Michael Chiklis as Blade Runners who, I dunno, fuck some chicks and compete to take out the same score. What's another paycheck, right?

Mighty Thor Behold

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:55:00 +0000

Gilderoy Lockhart is directing the Thor film due out in 2010, Aintitcool reports. Let's hope it won't be supa serious like all his other films, otherwise we'll summon Ragnarokk on his ass.

Oh, and we recommend Sonata Arctica and Nightwish for the soundtrack -- and maybe some Iron Maiden. Just sayin ...

Trailer Redux

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:46:00 +0000

Though not nearly as amazing as the Stallone trailers watched at the New Beverly last night, here are some of the upcoming films you just might want to miss ...

Valkyrie: Epic Failure, defined

Punisher: War Zone: Even women can make bad movies!

The Spirit: Who needs a plot?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Probably not as good as Zodiac.

Gay Gaiken

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 06:18:00 +0000

Oh Cary, how could you have deceived me so?

Okay. By now even the "reputable" online news sources are weighing in on the Claymates' shockingly unshocking discovery. While most sites have been copy pasta-ing choice quote from Fandom Wank, there's a more serious issue at hand: How could anyone NOT know?

At no point did Clay Aiken ever shout his heterosexuality from the rooftops. Though we don't like to discriminate, we would imagine 90% of sane people would "know" just by looking at or hearing him. It's not like we're living in the 1940's where he has to beard himself with Doris Day (whom he can now rave about freely).

So what is it about the fangirl archetype that makes them so damned delusional? Did he bring one of them a piece of toast? Or are they just pathetically desperate enough that they couldn't find someone else (hotter/more talented) to dream about at night ? Because the worst (and most hilarious) part of this whole net fiasco is: he's not attractive and HE'S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OF A SINGER.

But to be serious for a moment, one has to wonder why these girls are so viciously attracted to someone like Clay. And the only obvious answer is that he's perfect. In a way. He's not intimidating. He seems like a pretty nice guy. He certainly doesn't womanize, doesn't live his life on the edge, and considering the new baby, he's exactly what every little girl dreams of. So can you really blame them?

Maybe the Josh Hartnetts and Jude Laws of the world could learn a little lesson or two. And maybe it's not the Claymates who are insane, but all those girls who pine after douchebags.

What dreams are made of ...

I don't like...Singers...

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:55:00 +0000

Well, too bad Patrick Bateman, patron saint of ONTD. Looks like you, along with Spiderman, Frodo, and Elle Woods, are getting your very own schlocky musical!

Sure, some idiots out there are sure to think this is a good idea, just like some producers are sure to think that an "edgy" musical adaption could bring in all those Broadway bound hipsters or serial killers in training. Oh wait ...

The main problem (one of many, many problems) is that while I'm all for rats devouring the mutilated insides of an electrocuted body, I have a feeling it won't be exactly what a family-and-tourist-friendly Broadway show calls for, especially when popular blah like Legally Blonde and actually good productions like [title of show] are forced to close during the economic slump. And those actually have AUDIENCES.

In order for American Psycho to work AT ALL on stage (which it can't as a musical, let's face it) and still be profitable, they'd have to water it down more than Mary Harron's film -- a film that she only got to make in the first place because if a male director breathed anywhere in its direction he'd be tarred and feathered by a thousand screaming feminists. And let's everyone remember that despite Christian Bale's rise to stardom and the film's cult status online, it still made no money. And they think a Broadway musical will make bank?

Who wants to see a musical about an extremely violent serial killer not dicing people's heads off anyway? Even Sweeney Todd isn't brutal on stage, and Andrew Lloyd Weber has major 42nd street cred. Can Patrick Bateman sing his way to a rez at Dorsia? We sincerely doubt it.

I don't like singers ... so I will kill you in 30 seconds to Mars.

That's Enough, JK Rowling

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:41:00 +0000

It looks like the WB/Rowling camp forgot to pray to He-Who-Might-Be-Cthullu before their latest lawsuit was settled.

And it's too bad for them: Indian film "Hari Puttar: A Comedy of Terrors" will still be released in theatres this week. In case ANYONE was confused, it's Indian. It does not contain wizards, dragons, irritatinly pallid children, or magic. (Except the magic of cinema, that is.)

All you fanvidders better watch out though: Jo and her knee-breaking studio goons will be after you next. They need money like vampires (and Breaking Dawn haters) need blood.

ABRAAAAAAMMMMS!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:27:00 +0000

Okay, by now we all know that JJ Abrams' Star Trek "reimagining" is going to be pretty terrible, but we're still hoping it'll be FUN. One thing that's always seemed odd is Shatner's lack of involvment, especially when his best bud Leonard Nimoy is partaking in the clusterfuck. JJ claims Kirk only went MIA when he was brutally rebuffed by the almighty Rocket Man.

However, not unlike the recent Spaced/McG ass kissing ridiculousness, it seems that wasn't exactly the case ...

Shatner calls bullshit, saying Abrams never even asked him to appear. The audacity! But in all honesty, I'm not surprised Abrams pussed out -- having cast the bland Chris Pine as young Kirk, why invite the comparison? I mean we already know he's gonna suck, but when your lead is overpowered by William Shatner, you know you're fucked.

JJ better watch out.

Attention, fanvidders:

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:22:00 +0000

THIS is how you make an awesome fanvid, even if you're stuck with iMovie. You can do a lot of interesting things with creative editing, color, and sound, especially when you have limited resources. (Sparrington, I'm looking at YOU.) This House vid combines all of these elements to create a very striking and surprisingly effective short.

Enjoy!

"Sunburn"
House/Wilson/Cameron love triangle
by nella1987 @ YouTube

EA Hates Space Nazis

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:36:00 +0000

Spock and Kirk would be relieved.

Everyone in our shiny MIB marble world knows that highly anticipated pseudo-evolutionary game Spore has just been released. Unsurprisngly so have the floodgates of wankery.

While Will Wright laughs and swims through piles and piles of money, the most popular "discussion" point about the game seems to be the issue of DRM -- as in, why the hell does Spore use DRM, especially when the program has already been cracked, why must we install SpyWare on our computers, and why must the software be limited to three installs. Boo, EA. Boo.

The second hot topic is why each copy of Spore can only activate ONE player account. Further fail, for sure. You mean that if I want to battle my brother with penis monsters we have to buy TWO copies? That's $100! Rock Band 2 is only $60, and we get to sing Bon Jovi!

Then there's the Amazon 1.5 Star average. Ouch.

But none of these really compares to the stupidity discovered when some idiot tried to make das master race on his account. (Hey, at least he's not trying in real life.)

So some dude makes space Nazis. He feels special. EA doesn't think so, so they ban his account four 7 days with no warning. Assumedly, they delete his Aryans too. Boo. So someone comes onto EA's official Spore forums to vent, and the topic of his post includes the phrase "third reicht." Everyone laughs silently to themselves about the guy's clear idiocy until they realize he typoed BECAUSE REICH IS BANNED FROM THE FORUMS. Uh, what?

And not only that, but Hitler, Nazi, swastika, Stalin, Osama, and Saddam are banned too, cutely replaced with "SPORE" whenever typed. Of course like on any forum there's typos around that, resulting in clever new terms like "swatty sticks." Oh, Intarwebz.

But back to serious land: last time I checked, the ONLY place in the WORLD where a ban on these terms could be justified is Germany, and even that's a little shaky. But EA is an American company running a site on American soil so ... what gives? Are EA WW2 deniers now? Doesn't everyone know the adage if we don't learn from history we're doomed to repeat it? So why try to erase history from Spore?

Okay, granted you don't want Neo Nazis trying to commandeer everyone else's planets -- even if you DO want them to buy your game. But you kinda have to forsee that potential situation and not react like asshats, especially when you allow Vag and Penii monsters to roam the galaxy. I mean, controversy would only sell more copies of the game, and unless users are truly emitting hate speech, what's the point of banning them?

Users have been suspended so far for making Obama creatures (using the default person tools -- it's not anyone but EA's fault that when you change the skin color the creature looks like something out of an 1890's travel book) and for making German tanks ... what next?

You guys created the game. You made it expansive enough to create anything. Deal with it. But don't try to rewrite history.

Stanton gains nerd cred, loses snob cred

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:12:00 +0000

A recent interview with Andrew Stanton, tour-de-force behind Pixar's ridiculously high-grossing animated films, has likened Wall-E to [a less foul mouthed?] R2-D2 ... with no mention of the popular Charlie Chaplin comparison. He discusses his love of Sci-Fi films from the late 60's through mid 80's, basically from Kubrick's re-invigoration of the genre to Spielberg and Lucas running it into the ground with their too-cool-for-school blockbusters.

Also, Alien(s).

So it seems Wall-E has a little Star Child in there, though with the environmental message we thought we'd be more likely to hear about Klaatu. Which Lucas yoinked for SW, so it all comes round at the end.

Read the article here.

Frank Miller does not not love Sly Stallone

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:50:00 +0000

Cinematical reported a few days ago that Frank Miller is boning for Sly -- as Batman if Dark Knight Returns were ever filmed. Though grunting and mumbling Batman doesn't sound too appealing to the rest of us, we can see how Frank "no homo but I love leather panties" Miller would love that idea.

So we were thinking -- as is unsurprising for nerds -- who we'd pick to play old Batman. Number one is the clear choice, but here are the top 5:

5. Patrick Warburton

In a few years, Patrick would be great if they were going for an older, but not necessarily aged take. He's still built like a truck, and could pull it off pretty well.

4. Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin as an alcohol abuser? Belligerent? No way. Actually, Alec would do great as the angsty Wayne side of the Dark Knight. And we wouldn't want him getting back in the saddle as Batman either.

3. Michael Madsen

Because Batman could use with a little ear choppin'. Plus, he's been mostly out of work for a few years, and the method desperation could really come in handy.

2. Clint Eastwood

Because Dirty Harry as Batman would make the world explode with awesome. Plus, he can pull off the harsh whisper WAY better than Bale.

1. Michael Ironside

He's got the voice, the size, and the look of utter contempt. He could kill you with a glare, but has enough self-restraint not to do so. And the coolest thing about Michael Ironside? Though he uses a stage name, he only changed his FIRST name. That's right, his birth certificate says IRONSIDE on it.

George Takei Got Married!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:48:00 +0000

Trek and slash fans alike can rejoice now that George Takei (Star Trek TOS' Sulu) has married his longtime partner and manager Brad Altman. We'll refrain from making some hideously unwitty "live long and prosper" comment -- hey, even they said it in their ceremony -- and instead hope that they can now enjoy some quality naked time (see above) as man and man.

What wasn't widely reported, however, is the coolness that is their best man / woman duo: Walter Koenig (Chekov) and Nichelle Nichols (Uhura).

Samba! De Amigo

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:23:00 +0000

We at the NP wanted to remind everyone in cyberspace that there's other news in gaming this month besides the Spore DRM wank and the release of Rock Band 2. And that news is Samba De Amigo for the Wii, coming to stores near you on September 23rd.

Samba was a sadly neglected yet totally awesome maraca game that premiered on the Dreamcast back in the day. Looks like the Wiimote is gearing up to replace the peripherals, but the game boasts over 40 licensed songs to shake your bon bon to.

Take that, Red Octane.

Quiz Time! Dragonball Edition

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:48:00 +0000

I was about to write a smarmy post about how bad Dragonball looks, and how the marketing campaign is cheaper than a Thai hooker, when I stumbled across an interesting fact I haven't heard much about. So here it is, readers:

How much do you think Dragonball cost to make?
a) 10 Million
b) 25 Million
c) 50 Million
d) none of the above, probably like 2 cents.

The answer is D. Because it cost 100 MILLION DOLLARS, according to IMDB. And considering how long it's taken to get the film in the can, it's probably correct.

What the fuck? That's 10 MILLION DOLLARS less than Departed. They could have made 5 Superbads with that dough! And does anyone actually expect it to make back that budget?

Hooray for Puberty!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:37:00 +0000

When did Matthew Lewis turn into Clive Owen? When did he get to be 19? We chatted to him at the Azkaban Premiere, when he was just a lad, but it's nice to see he has a future as a badass if he wanted.

IGN does another shitty list

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:08:00 +0000

Who hates the Departed? EVERYONE!

IGN has done a list of the top ten Bad Cop movies. Most of the list is okay, but it's not particularly energetic.

10. Leon: The Professional

Leon (Jean Reno) is a cleaner. A hitman. A professional killer. Mathilda (Natalie Portman) is a little girl with attitude. Not exactly a combo you'd expect in a classic, but life is all about surprises. Their lives become intertwined when a group of corrupt cops (led by the delightfully over-the-top Gary Oldman) kill her drug-dealing father and her family. Mathilda arrives on the scene after the fact while the cops are still there and Leon saves her life by letting her into his apartment down the hall.

The sacrifice by the reclusive assassin is far from cut and dried. By saving her, the complications are too many to ignore and he must choose to accept her into his life or add her to his extensive list of victims.

What follows is a combination of insight into the hit-man business, a look at police corruption, and most importantly, a pseudo-love story where every aspect is wrong except the bond between a cold-blooded killer and a very young girl. This story could have traversed a very dangerous moral boundary (it did start a very wide-based, near-scary appreciation of Portman from men across the globe), but somehow it doesn't cross the point of bad taste.

9. Magnum Force

Clint Eastwood reprises his role as "Dirty" Harry Callahan, a rugged detective hot on the trail of a series of crooked cops that feel as if they can break the law in order to bring justice down a lot harder than they have the rights to.

When a trio of motorcycle troopers take to gunning down criminals without regard for evidence or due process, Dirty Harry must rise to protect the system that he's been known to circumvent. Magnum Force presents an interesting mirror to the original Dirty Harry by creating villains who challenge Callahan's reluctance to let the law stand between justice and injustice. Harry must not only look inward to identify the blurry line between right and wrong, but must navigate the social and governmental politics of San Francisco.

Scripted by John Milius, Magnum Force maintains the delicate blend of action and drama of Dirty Harry, yet serves to examine and comment upon themes only hinted at in the first film. It's not as effective as its predecessor – the villains aren't nearly as remarkable – but it's about something, which is a claim many modern-day sequels can't rightfully make.

8. Cop Land

Sylvester Stallone plays Sheriff Freddy Heflin, a would-be NYPD officer except he's deaf in one ear. So as a favor, he's given the sheriff's job in tiny Garrison, N.J., just across the George Washington Bridge. City laws in New York require police to live in the city, which they couldn't afford, but thanks to a loophole, they took part-time gigs with the transit authority, which extended its reach into Jersey, allowing their escape.

Thanks to a Mob-connected officer affectionately known as Uncle Ray (Harvey Keitel), they all have cheap mortgages for their homes. The city is so full of cops it's called Cop Land. Freddy's job is hardly difficult. Who in the world is going to start trouble in a city almost entirely populated by police officers?

Internal Affairs, led by Moe Tilden (Robert De Niro), gets to work. But there's more soap opera. Another cop, Figgis (Ray Liotta), has his problems with Ray while Freddy has issues with Joey Randone (Peter Berg) and to a lesser degree his wife Liz (Annabella Sciorra). Cop Land is essentially a western about a deputy who has to clean up a dirty town, complete with a shootout ending.

7. Internal Affairs (now they're just asking for teh rage)

Dennis Peck (Richard Gere) is a savvy and manipulative Los Angeles Police Department patrolman who has a little dirt on nearly all of his colleagues. He is soon targeted by dedicated, young Internal Affairs detective Raymond Avila (Andy Garcia) because he lives above his means.

The devious Peck, however, turns the tables on Avila and starts playing mind-games with him. Avila even starts to believe that Peck has seduced his wife Kathleen (Nancy Travis), and he grows increasingly agitated the closer he gets to busting the veteran officer.

Mike Figgis directed Internal Affairs from a screenplay by Henry Bean (Deep Cover, Basic Instinct 2)

6. Training Day

This gritty cop drama takes place during the course of one long, hellish day in the life of two LAPD officers. Former high school football star Jake Hoyt (Ethan Hawke) has only been on the force for a short while when he's assigned to an anti-drug unit in the Rampart Division of the LAPD, which covers some of the city's nastiest high-crime sections. On this fateful day, Hoyt will be shown the ropes by Detective Sergeant Alonzo Harris (Oscar winner Denzel Washington) -- a 13-year veteran whose tactics and ethics are more than a little bit questionable.

Hoyt will lose his innocence during the course of this single day because of what Alonzo exposes him to. He realizes that his boy scout values are not as rock solid as he'd originally thought; many of his mentor's street lessons make more sense than he cares to admit.

Alonzo and Hoyt cruise around the L.A. netherworld in his "G-Ride," encountering various gangstas, victims, dealers, snitches, and "civilians." Along the way, we learn more about Alonzo's fall from grace, his morally dubious private life, and his explosive secret plan that involves Jake.

5. Bad Lieutenant

An unnamed homicide detective (Harvey Keitel) is in a downward spiral of drugs, booze, gambling, and hookers when he begins investigating the brutal rape of a nun. This case may be his last shot at redemption before the bookies he owes a small fortune to decide to settle his bill for him. No illicit behavior is too low for "The Bad Lieutenant" to stoop to; he even spanks himself in front of traffic offenders!

Abel Ferrara (King of New York) directed this 1992 indie classic, which has spawned the 2009 follow-up Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Nicolas Cage plays the titular rogue cop in that Werner Herzog-directed film, which is neither a remake nor a re-imagining of the 1992 movie. Who would have thought that Bad Lieutenant would have spawned a franchise?

4. Touch of Evil

While on his honeymoon with Susan (Janet Leigh), Mexican-born narc Mike Vargas (Charlton Heston) is pulled into a bombing investigation. What he finds instead is the wrath of local police chief Hank Quinlan (Orson Welles, who also directed) -- a bloated bully whose perfect arrest record is just the first hint of his inherent corruption. When Vargas proves too determined to see a framed bombing suspect receive justice, Quinlan retaliates against Vargas by targeting his wife.

This virtuoso Film Noir is widely considered Welles' other masterpiece besides Citizen Kane. Welles, true to form, lost control of the film eventually, re-shoots were conducted, and a cut that the director wasn't terribly happy with was released. But over the years, as Welles began to regain the respect of cineastes -- especially after his death -- an interest in his cut of the film grew, and finally this take on Touch of Evil was released in 1998.

Heston usually gets looked over when this picture is discussed, serving as little more than a punch line because of his character's nationality and skin color. But it's noteworthy that the actor was eager to pursue other types of films early in his stardom. He was not content in the years following The Ten Commandments to simply sit on his Moses laurels and make biblical epic after biblical epic, and he apparently recognized the genius in Welles that was not so readily acknowledged in 1958 Hollywood. The result is a great film that has and will continue to stand the test of time.

3. Some Shitty Scorsese Film

2. Serpico

This fact-based 1974 cop drama is based on Peter Maas' book about NYPD officer Frank Serpico (Al Pacino). Serpico began his career as a wide-eyed idealist but quickly becomes disillusioned and angered by the corruption he finds within the force. Becoming an unorthodox "lone wolf" plain clothes narc, Serpico only stirs up more trouble for himself when he won't accept bribes, a noble action that makes his fellow detectives distrust him all the more.

Pushed to his breaking point, Serpico soon agrees to cooperate with the authorities who are out to rid the NYPD of its graft. That fateful decision nearly costs Serpico his life when he's shot in the face in the line of duty and his fellow narcs do little to help him.

Director Sidney Lumet cornered the market on films about corruption in the NYPD, thanks to Serpico and his subsequent films Prince of the City, Q&A, and Night Falls on Manhattan, all of which feature some pretty reprehensible boys in blue.

1. L.A. Confidential

This Neo-Noir gem based on James Ellroy's novel recreates the underbelly of glitzy 1950s Los Angeles. LAPD Lt. Ed Exley (Guy Pearce) and Officer Bud White (Russell Crowe) initially hate each other, but when their parallel investigations into the Nite Owl Massacre leads them to a massive conspiracy within their department, they set aside their differences to find the truth and attain justice. Exley's a born politician who uses his "hero status" to get promoted; White's not as dumb as he seems and is a man you don't want to tick off. With Exley's brains and White's brawn, they crack a case that could bring the LAPD to its knees.

Meanwhile, "Hollywood Jack" Vincennes (Kevin Spacey) is a vice cop who is in cahoots with a tabloid publisher (Danny DeVito) when he's not serving as a technical consultant on a cop TV show. Jack's own investigation ties in with Exley and White's case but it leads to his doom. Oscar-winner Kim Basinger portrays Lynn, a hooker caught up in the conspiracy who falls for Bud but toys with Exley.

Maybe it's the fact that he carries an aura of grandfatherly warmth or that he played the lead in Babe, but Capt. Dudley (James Cromwell) looks like the last person to be a corrupt cop. Which makes his betrayal all the more brutal and surprising, proving himself to be one of the "Rollo Tomasi." Granted, Dudley was more diabolical in the book, but the new cinematic take lends itself to an equally memorable persona. Whereas you could typically spot dirty cops quickly in most movies, this one takes you by startling surprise.

GOD dragon breath ADVERTISING!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 11:51:00 +0000

All your cable are belong to us

Anime fans go batshit after Adult Swim changes lineup, reports fandom_wank.

Those changes include moving Bleach back to 11 PM, pushing Code Geass and Moribito to 5:00–6:00 a.m., and nixing Shin Chan and Inuyasha. Oh, they'll also be showing Full Metal Alchemist reruns.

Actually, all of this aside from FMA airtime sounds reasonable. Thank the heavens Inuyasha is gone, I mean, have these people ranting ever seen the show to begin with? Bleach is pretty good, but all the others are utter crap, made ten thousand times worse by the horrible American voice acting. I'm not quite sure why CN hasn't yet developed an anime channel to keep these people quiet yet.

Here's another idea: English dubs during the day, English subs at night. That way if you want to watch cool yet mediocre shows without totally ruining them (see: Trigun) the Japanese versions are available.

Incidentally, CN probably has a good idea of what their viewer base is, and which shows actually get watched. Inuyasha is about as old as the dinosaurs by this point and its not surprising that it wouldn't be popular, especially since there are much nicer alternatives now, which there weren't when it first came over. Also, doesn't everyone know that railing on a messageboard doesn't do jack shit other than earn some cash through web ads? Network execs have better things to do, and even if they didn't, they'd surely enjoy the lulz.

Anyway, the new lineup is here.

Joss Whedon Loses Mojo

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 05:01:00 +0000

That sexist bastard is leaving all teh fangirls with blueballs.

Okay fangirls, I guess the streets are safe once more, as it seems Mr. Whedon has lost his nerd mojo and shut down production of Dollhouse due to poor writing quality. What's in the water in LA these days, guys? We're not exactly sure how one starts filming before realizing your show sucks, but at least this gives him some time to "fix" the problem and deliver a great new show ... right?

Watchmen Posters!

noreply@blogger.com (YMG) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:53:00 +0000

IMP AWARDS brings us a few Watchmen posters, delightfully done in the style of the original comic. A+ so far for this marketing campaign, which makes us truly believe this adaptation might actually be okay.

I just hope that we're right this time.