The bill would have disallowed every American except the top two percent of earners from seeking access to oxygen. National Guard troops would have been tasked with seizing all available oxygen from around the country and storing it in locked, sealed containers. Armed guards would stand watch at each supply center.

Any American declared ineligible, and not in possession of an Oxygen Access card, would have been denied oxygen, beginning on February 8, 2012.

Experts said that if the bill had managed to pass, the country’s borders would have needed to be sealed off, so that a mass exodus did not occur once people realized they would run out of oxygen, and attempted to go elsewhere to get some.

President Obama faced criticism in the run-up to the Senate vote for not saying conclusively whether or not he would veto the bill, were it to come across his desk. He is no longer faced with such a dilemma.

In remarks on the Senate floor, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said, in supporting passage of the bill, “This bill is admittedly strong and unyielding, but it is necessary. No longer can we live in the welfare state of America, where anyone can receive oxygen, just because they wish to breathe. There have to be limits.”

But some Senate Democrats saw the bill differently. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said he could not support the bill, though part of him agreed with its necessity.

“Although I see the logic behind this bill, and the thinking that went into its drafting,” Reid said, “I must draw the line at letting the majority of Americans die, due to lack of available oxygen. I urge my fellow Senators to vote no on this motion, if no other reason than most people in their constituencies will die if it passes.”

Following the vote, Reid admitted the vote was “closer than he would have liked,” but refused to discuss Sen. Nelson’s possible reasons for crossing the aisle. “I respect Senator Nelson very much, but of course, I’m very concerned with the current climate, yes,” Reid said. “Very concerned. Especially with things like the ‘Extermination of the Poverty-Stricken’ bill, which is coming up for a vote next month. I think that has a real shot at passage.”

Republicans, for their part, were celebrating.

“Look, three votes is awfully close, ” said Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC), a supporter of the bill. “And it’s one more than we thought we could count on. So, obviously we’re doing something right, and we have to keep doing it. We almost got this one through, and this kills almost everyone. So I’m optimistic about our chances in the future.”

But if Santorum is excited, New Hampshire residents are something else — terrified. They saw how Santorum went to as many venues as possible in Iowa, connecting personally with as many voters as he could. They’re scared of him doing the same thing in their state.

“I don’t know that I want him that physically close to me, like even up on a stage fifty or so yards away,” said Alan Edgall, 72, who has lived in Nashua all his life. “I mean, if he’s on TV, I guess that’s okay. But I don’t want to actually have to meet him, shake his hand. That’s too much.”

Residents may have a strong chance at avoiding an encounter with Santorum here. He only arrived on Wednesday, and the lack of both time and a campaign infrastructure in New Hampshire means he won’t be able to mount the kind of 99-county marathon he staged in Iowa. But campaign representatives said he does have plans to spend the next week engaging in the kind of meet-and-greet events that won him such a strong showing in Iowa. That means he’ll be traveling around the state, going to diners, pizza parlors and bars. So he’s certain to run into at least some of these less-than-enthused New Hampshire-ites.

But as Lonnie Francino, 63, said, he also has something of a blaring alarm that will precede him wherever he goes — the news media that is suddenly so interested in him.

“We’ll just look for those cameras and news vans and what have you,” Francino said. “And we won’t go into that particular place. I mean, I love the Golden Pantry Diner, but I come there and I see these news trucks and whatnot, that’ll mean he could be in there. And that means I can find somewhere else to get my Denver omelette.”

Officer Reginald Taylor, originally from Queens, was declared the winner after besting a total of eight opponents. After the victory in the final match, he said his eyes stung, but his spirit was satisfied.

“It’s a great feeling to win this,” Taylor said. “All these guys, they’re really good at pepper-spraying, so to be the declared the best out of this group is pretty gratifying.”

For his victory, Taylor was awarded a bronze statue of an anti-war protester writhing on the ground in pain.

Democratic Senators Harry Reid, Max Baucus, Barbara Boxer and Charles Schumer held a press conference where they addressed the hacking incident.

Washington – An unidentified group of hackers broke into computers used by members of the United States Congress and their staffs, and while in the system managed to balance the federal budget, according to several FBI agents and other law enforcement officials.

No one has yet taken responsibility for the attack, which resulted in what many economists are hailing as a “sensible, balanced budget,” with no other apparent damage to government computers or data.

If adopted, the budget could put an end to a bitter fight over whether or not the United States should raise the so-called “debt ceiling,” in addition to solving several other thorny budgetary and fiscal issues.

“This is a strange hack, because it looks like all they wanted to do was get in there and balance the budget,” said an FBI agent, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity because the case is still under investigation. “There was no malicious software put on any of the computers, no information was apparently stolen — just a balanced budget left on the screens of all the congressional computers for everyone to see when they got into work today.”

Computers at the White House appear to be unaffected, as do those at the Department of Defense and the State Department.

The budget that the hackers propose, according to the FBI agents and other law enforcement officials, includes a large tax increase for the wealthiest Americans and cuts in defense spending. It also includes the closing of many tax loopholes used by multinational corporations in order to avoid paying their full share of income tax. The plan for the closure of tax loopholes was included in a supplemental document which laid out a re-envisioning of the U.S. tax code.

There was no official reaction from the White House, but rumors were swirling around Washington by late Wednesday afternoon that President Obama had read the budget and was delighted with it.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid led a press conference that featured other prominent Senate Democrats. The senators applauded the budget, while at the same time bemoaning the apparent ease with which the hackers were able to access what are supposed to be some of the country’s most secure computer systems — those belonging to many of the highest ranking members of its own government.

“While I shudder to think of the damage that could have been caused, and I eagerly await the results of the FBI’s investigation into this massive breach of our electronic security apparatus,” Mr. Reid said, “I am pleased that these hackers accomplished what the House, the Senate and the White House have been unable to accomplish — namely to present a balanced budget to the American people that works and does not unnecessarily gut vital programs that Americans need, now more than ever.”

Meanwhile, at his own press conference, House Speaker John Boehner harshly criticized the budget put forth by the hackers as “dead wrong,” and said he sincerely hopes the president will reject it.

“This budget is the epitome of what we do not need to be doing right now, with our economy in the state that it is in currently,” Boehner said. “This type of tax and spend philosophy will stifle hiring and stunt what little growth there is. I strongly urge the president to reject this budget, and I remind him that it was developed by people who also broke into every computer on Capitol Hill.”

Although the hackers apparently left no indication of who they might be, they did leave an identical note on the computers of Mr. Boehner, Mr. Reid, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. The note was contained in a text file left on the desktop of each computer entitled, “Read me, dummy.”

The note read, “It wasn’t that fucking hard, idiots. We did it overnight. Get your shit together.”

“It’s like, I don’t trust it,” Jeffrey said. “I mean, it’s there for the taking, but it’s too obvious. It’s too easy. It feels like a trap.”

Other comedians agreed. Mitch Hargerson, a former writer for The Late Show with David Letterman, said he was tempted to write jokes about the Weiner scandal that took advantage of the congressman’s name, but then thought better of it.

“I was right there, right on the edge,” he said. “But then my alarm bells went off and these huge red flags were screaming, ‘Too easy! Too easy! Pull back!’ So I went back to Sarah Palin. She never disappoints.”

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“This is a proud day for America,” Obama said in briefing at the White House. “We once again have set the standard for the rest of the world to attempt to reach, the way we did with space exploration, manufacturing of the automobile and making public health insurance seem like a bad idea. Americans should be proud of their nation and their military.”

The old record for number of Muslim countries invaded simultaneously was two, and was set by France’s Napoleon Bonaparte in the late 18th and early 19th Centuries, when he attempted invasions of Syria and Egypt. The United States tied that record in 2003, when it invaded Iraq while already engaged in the war in Afghanistan.

President Obama spoke about what the record means for his administration and the nation as a whole.

“When I got into office, many people said the one thing we couldn’t do was invade a third Muslim country, or any country, as we were already so heavily involved in Afghanistan and Iraq,” the president said. “But I don’t think of the United States in terms of what we can’t do. I think about the possibilities of what we can do. And I knew we could do this, and I was proven correct.”

Jeff Friedkin, one of the group’s representatives, scurried around Captiol Hill, trying to get that message across to lawmakers.

“We know these nuclear reactors are safe because we’ve tested them rigorously,” Friedkin said. “We’ve set up Lego versions of the reactors and had our intern, Phil, shake the base of the whole thing really hard. Like, probably as hard as the earthquake in Japan would have been, had it happened in Lego World.”

Concern over the future of nuclear energy hit its peak with the recent disaster at several Japanese reactors following an earthquake and tsunami in that country. Friedkin is hoping to allay fears about the industry, at least among D.C. legislators.

“I told them, ‘Listen, I would put my grandmother in the middle of any of the reactors in this country,’” Friedkin said. “‘During an earthquake.’ Now, granted, my grandmother is dead, and I didn’t like her very much, but regardless, I think I got my point across.”