The Nebeker Gathering Place

This is for me.

2020-09-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

I panicked this morning. I couldn't remember my username and password for my blog! I haven't visited here for years. Luckily I was able to figure it all out and was able to log in.

I've been struggling lately with life. There are so many highs and lows that it gets hard to navigate sometimes. Many times I've poured my heart out to God asking for guidance then I am quiet and listen for direction. Somedays are just difficult. The world is a nasty, mean and hurtful place but at the same time it is the most hopeful, glorious and beautiful place.

I've gotten a clear message that I need to blog again. Not that someone else might gain something by reading it but that I may find comfort in sharing a thought or two.

If you land here you're welcome to read it but please know that it's for selfish reasons I share. This is therapy for me.

Thanks!

SAY SORRY LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

2016-09-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

SAY SORRY LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

Ha ha...how many times did I hear this as a child? My Mom would say, "say it like you mean it" I followed her example and said that to my kids and now I wonder if they say that to their kids. Nothing is worse that a forced and insincere apology. I found some great advice online.

"Apologize when you've made a mistake. If you want your family or friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless. If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. Though your family or friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it on someone else.

When you say sorry, you should mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't really care how they feel."

- Words to live by -

Below is some spiritual enlightenment for your weekend.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/i-will-bring-the-light-of-the-gospel-into-my-home?lang=eng

Last week I got a visit from these two and their Dad, Mike. They came for my sister, Debbie's, funeral. Their big smiles make difficult times easier to bare. They have each grown at least a foot (little exaggeration) in the few months it's been since our last visit. I love those big brown eyes!

SISTERS

2016-09-09T14:41:00.001-07:00

My oldest sister, Debbie, is in trouble. She had a stroke and may not recover.

Above - Carol, Debbie, Me

Although we haven't been close as adults, I love her. She bore the burden of being the oldest of seven children. I am sure that was not easy. I am sure there were many expectations placed on her, being the first born to our then, teenage parents. She took me to church, bought me school clothes, taught me about love and patience and made me feel safe.

"My sister shares a part of me

that no one else shall ever see.

And when the days and miles divide us...

the bond we have will live inside us.

Together sharing dreams, love and laughter

My sister for always, my friend...forever after."

"Close to my heart, you'll always be.

Friends forever, My sister and me.

Below - Don't want to leave my beautiful and youngest sister, Nancy, out. She was born way after the picture above was taken.

THE SCIENTIST

2016-08-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

Years ago my son Scott mentioned that whenever my Grandson, Tanner, would get cranky in the car they would turn Coldplay on and it would soothe him. This was when Tanner was a baby. He’s not a baby anymore, he’s turning twelve years old in exactly thirteen days.

When Tanner was about five years old, he was sitting at the kitchen counter visiting me while I made cookies. This is something I’ve enjoyed about my Grandkids. They all seem to congregate at the kitchen counter and watch me cook. We were listening to my Pandora station and the song, The Scientist, by Coldplay came on and Tanner joined in the chorus in perfect pitch. I tried not to bring attention to his singing for fear he get embarrassed and stop.

“Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start”

Whenever I hear that song it takes me back to that day. I miss that adorable little boy with the big blue eyes and that huge smile. He’s grown smart, tall and handsome. He made me a Grandma for the first time. I’m so proud of you Tanner. I love you to the Moon and Back! Three hand squeezes and three horn honks...(our secret code).

"THE KIND WORDS WE GIVE SHALL IN MEMORY LIVE"

2016-08-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Carol and I with our Mom - 1994

Years ago I was required to go to a courthouse to pay a traffic ticket I had procrastinated about. I was one of several people of all nationalities and color forced to wait my turn to see the judge. We waited in a hall lined with benches. I will never forget one lady there with a little boy about the age of two. He was an adorable and very active little guy who gave everyone there a big smile. She seemed very irritated with him not sitting completely still like she had sternly ordered him to do. As she sat there and he ventured off his seat a few feet she would shout swear words and call him unspeakable names and tell him to sit his A** back down. She showed him no love, dignity or patience.

When I was about twelve or so, my sister Carol and I got a tape recorder from our parents for Christmas. It was a hand me down tape recorder that belonged to my older brother and he didn't use it anymore. My Mom cleaned it up and there it was sitting under the tree on Christmas morning. My parents were broke, they had seven kids to provide Christmas for. I didn't understand much about that kind of stuff at the time. The stress and heartache my Mom had gone through to insure seven kids a fun Christmas must have been overwhelming.

Carol and I were thrilled and we loved our present. We spent hours upon hours recording ourselves and others doing and saying silly stuff. We even figured out how to speed up and play our goofy recordings to sound like the Chipmunks. We'd turn the volume up loud and laugh and laugh. It rates among one the best Christmas' ever.

We must have driven my poor Mom crazy for days with that tape recorder. We were asked multiple times to turn the volume down. I remember being at the kitchen counter while she was fixing dinner and blasting the Chipmunk version of something I'd recorded. She lost it. In that moment she was out of control. She grabbed me, yelled, slapped me and then said something that still rings in my ears....."I hate you". I was devastated. She came to me moments later and said she was sorry, I could tell she'd been crying. It was an ugly sliver of time that my Mom lost it and said something that should never have been said.

I know beyond any doubt that my Mom loved me. Her kids were the world to her. She sacrificed for all of her children in one way or another. She did her best. I am sure that my Mom was haunted by some of the things she did or didn't do as a Mom. I know this because I am a Mom. I am haunted by the same thing. Aren't all Mom's human? Don't we all have regret or sometimes want a do-over? Haven't we all had sleepless nights at the end of a tough day praying to do better tomorrow?

May we all have the strength to think before we speak and control our anger. There are so many people that need a kind word from us instead of an angry reaction that causes their ears to sting and heart to feel heavy. I know my Mom would have turned back time to take those words back if she could have. We all make mistakes but lets do ourselves a favor and try harder. I love the inspirational words below that a Facebook friend shared with me. Peace -

We are all susceptible to those feelings which, if left unchecked, can lead to anger. We experience displeasure or irritation or antagonism, and if we so choose, we lose our temper and become angry with others. Ironically, those others are often members of our own families—the people we really love the most.

Many years ago I read the following Associated Press dispatch which appeared in the newspaper: An elderly man disclosed at the funeral of his brother, with whom he had shared, from early manhood, a small, one-room cabin near Canisteo, New York, that following a quarrel, they had divided the room in half with a chalk line, and neither had crossed the line or spoken a word to the other since that day—years before. Just think of the consequence of that anger. What a tragedy!

May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say. - President Thomas S. Monson

PARENTING IS NOT FOR WHIMPS.

2016-08-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

"You're braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"
A.A. Milne, - Winnie the Pooh

This isn't a post about what a wonderful parent I am. It's not about giving advice or judging. It's about my observations of my children and their parenting. I find it interesting that we all seem to have our own parenting style. What works for one, might not work for another. All kids are different. My kids have that figured out. Each has their technique that works for them.

We had a little family reunion this last weekend. We woke early to have family pictures done. Each little family was gathered together with Craig and I in the center. It was awesome and made me reflect on how blessed I am. Craig and I have five grown children, four are married and one is enjoying life doing his own thing for now. We have eight beautiful Grandchildren.

Who would have thought that two crazy kids, in love in high school, would still be together in their fifties and have such an incredible family.

My Grandchildren have parents that love them, protect them, teach them and want only the very best for them. They are all thriving and happy. How much more could I ask for.

These pictures are from our little get together. Can't wait for the family portraits we had taken, I'll post those when I get them.

GOOD FRIENDS AND GRANDKIDS

2016-07-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Craig and I went for a little drive to one of our favorite places, Yankee Meadow. We wanted to share it with our good friends, Sam and Ruth Gracia. It was a nice break from the triple digit weather we've had. As expected it was beautiful and the weather was perfect for a picnic in the mountains.

I can't forget to post about my special visitors on Monday. Kylie, Kayla, Jayden and Shaylie came to my house! They stayed all day and we played, swam, ate and got totally worn out. I love those kiddo's and wish we lived closer. I just can't get enough of them! I didn't get a picture of Jayden but just know that he is the very best at cannonballs!

SOFT SERVE AND ROAD TRIPS

2016-07-22T13:35:00.001-07:00

When Craig and I were young, both of our families would travel the same highway to visit relatives in Utah. I remember these road trips well with my family. I was usually in the back of the station wagon, squished and uncomfortable. The two lane highway always scared me, especially when it came to passing a slow car or a big semi. My Dad would keep us busy by telling us to find a place to stop for ice cream. That was our job and I took it seriously. My sister and I would keep an eye out for any roadside stop with a spinning ice cream cone sign in front of it. My Dad would always stop, sometimes multiple times per trip. I remember being anxious to get out, stretch my legs and enjoy an ice cream cone. It was always soft serve and Foster’s Freeze was the favorite.

A couple of weeks ago Craig and I went on a road trip. We traveled up that same two lane highway. It was fun to reminisce about family trips and some old sights. Then we past an old house. A really, really old house. It dawned on me that this house must have been there all those years ago and that my family and I had driven by it countless times. I realized I had, more than likely, seen it as I was looking out the window looking for a place to stop for ice cream.

It was a big house and I could imagine a large family with lots of kids living there. They would have had holidays and family gatherings in the big weed filled yard. Maybe the parents grew old together there. I imagined the generations of this family moving out, saying goodbye, growing old, passing on. It had a history and even though all I did was drive by it in a station wagon I was part of it.

I WON'T FORGET MY SHOES!

2016-07-15T10:53:00.001-07:00

I had months to prepare. Along time ago I had a dream. The dream started out so light and carefree. I was with Craig. We were holding hands, walking through the most beautiful, soft grass. It was a meadow. It took very little effort to walk for miles on the soft ground. Then suddenly the cool soft ground came to an end. As far as you could see the ground was dry, gravely dirt. Suddenly I realized I couldn't go any further. Craig pulled me, but sadly I was forced to stop, I wasn't able to continue. I showed Craig why. I was barefoot, I had forgotten my shoes. I WASNT PREPARED.

I am not sure why we were walking so far or what the destination was but I did know it was somewhere special, good and there would be a reward waiting for us. Craig urged me to keep going but I couldn't. We agreed that he would go ahead and l would go back and get my shoes.

Then I woke up.

I had this dream at least 30 years ago. I've never forgotten it. It had a real, clear message for me -

BE PREPARED

I think all of us, especially me, should use caution and always be prepared for what life may throw at us. When I've remembered this clear message things have, for the most part, turned out in a positive way. I believe that my dream was a gift and has helped me through some difficult challenges.

Months ago Rebecca invited me to participate in a 5K with her. I am not a runner but I love to walk. I knew this would be a challenge and I accepted. I was committed to eating right and to "get into shape". As the months ticked on I found really good excuses to skip the gym. I actually counted the months and then weeks always thinking I still had time to get it together. It amazes me how fast time goes by for some things and slow for others. Training for this 5K went by fast. I literally hadn't gone to the gym for months.

On the day of the race I was a bit nervous. I knew I wasn't prepared. I was asked if I was excited and the only answer that came to mind was, "not nervous, only anxious for it to be over". The setting was beautiful, Mona, Utah, in the lavender fields. The weather was perfect. I was feeling blessed to be able to walk and jog (a little), in such a beautiful place. I was also grateful to be there with my incredible daughter and her family. Most of all I felt blessed to have Craig waiting for me at the finish line. I will do better to prepare in the future and -

I won't ever forget my shoes.

BROWNIES FOR DAVID

2016-06-29T14:48:00.002-07:00

I have two Son In-laws. I truly love them both. They each have their unique qualities that have enriched our family. This post is about David, he is married to my youngest, my caboose, my sweet and incredibly lovely daughter Nicole.

David fits in. He did from the first time Nikki brought him to meet us. I am thankful for him and appreciate the way he loves and treats my daughter.

I’ve been thinking about Nikki and David a lot lately. Nikki is pregnant and on Sunday I received a text from David saying that Nikki was in the hospital having contractions. Getting another Grand baby is beyond exciting! It was a false alarm though and they were sent home.

I spent the rest of the day feeling very blessed to have David there for my daughter. He’s going to be a wonderful father. I was feeling so blessed that I made his favorite brownies. These brownies are something I try to make whenever David is around. (which is NOT often enough)

They are so easy to throw together and I usually have everything I need in my pantry. I thought I would share the recipe here, maybe David can make some soon. I didn't take a picture of mine so I found a picture of brownies from the internet. Yes, mine looked that good, even the perfect frosting.....ha! Enjoy!

David's Brownies -

Batter
1 C melted butter
1/2 C cocoa powder
2 C flour
2 C sugar
4 eggs
4 teaspoons vanilla

Frosting
1/4 C soft butter
1/4 C milk
1/4 C cocoa powder
3 C powdered sugar
Mix everything together

Mix the melted butter and the cocoa. Mix in the flour and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together but be careful, DO NOT overmix.

Pour batter into a greased 9x13 pan

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until a toothpick come out clean.

Spread the frosting on the warm brownies and let cool.

HAPPY 37 TO US

2016-06-22T16:08:00.001-07:00

Crazy kids!

Today is my Anniversary! I've been married to my best friend for 37 years. We dated in high school so we've been together for 39 years. As long as I can remember he has been there, since we were very young as we went to the same church. He was a year younger than me. I didn't notice him at all, until I needed him. I needed a partner. The youth of our church preformed a huge dance production called The Dance Festival held at the Rose Bowl. I didn't really want to participate but thankfully my adult leaders encouraged me and assigned me a partner. My partner, just like his, never came to practice. One Saturday I saw him standing there without a partner and being in the same situation I asked him to be mine. At that moment, I never in a million years, thought I would still be his dance partner.

He was a bleached blonde, long haired surfer dude when we started dating. He was the most layed back, carefree, fun, forgiving, amazing person I'd ever dated. I decided he was the one for me on a date to Disneyland. I was the first one to say, I love you. His reply wasn't what I expected but I won't go there, hey we were young, stupid and trying to be "cool".

He loved to say, "It's cool" to everything. He drove a loud car. That time he drove away from my house burning rubber didn't help my parents like him much but it brings a good chuckle now.

We've experienced many highs and lows in this 37 years of marriage. The highs are what has made the memories while the lows have taught us tolerance, patience and made us strong while cementing our feet in the same stop.

Thanks for taking this journey with me Craig. Looking forward to eternity where our load will be lighter and the view will be more clear!

GUEST BLOGGER - KYLIE

2016-06-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

I love technology because it keeps me in touch with the people I love. I had a conversation via Hangouts with my Granddaughter Kylie last night. We talked about her day, her thoughts, her friends. She shared that she was having some drama with a couple of her friends. I tried to give her some Grandma advice. She's a smart and beautiful ten year old girl. I hope she always shares her day with me. I asked her if she would write me a story for my blog. She is my 'guest blogger' for today!

Below is her story -

I was just finishing lunch still soaking wet from the splash pads waterfall when I heard my friend Megan ask her Mom if she could go down the lake with someone, but I was the only one finished so I decided to go to the lake with her. We stated running down the hill when my Mom shouted, "Remember, listen to the Holy Spirit". We both agreed and started going down the hill right before my sist, Kayla came and tagged along. My friend, Megan, got a little scared by the weeds tickling at our feet so I blocked the weeds in her way. When we reached the sidewalk we saw a sign that said, "warning rattle snakes downhill!" Megan was already scared enough! But soon as we were standing still I remembered that my Mom said before we left, listen to the Holy Spirit. So I told Kayla and Megan that the Holy Spirit will protect us and he did so and..... Our luck turned up finally. We met a dog named Scruffy and tried catching fish! I love that I choose to go to church!!!

-Kylie Nebeker

Thanks Kylie, your story is awesome and so are you!

LOOK FOR THE HELPERS

2016-06-13T11:23:00.001-07:00

I remember one on my children years ago asking me why God lets bad things happen. After some thought I said the obvious response for me, “It’s gives people the opportunity to do good”. I love the Mr. Rogers quote that has floated around social media about his mother telling him to “look for the helpers”.

I like to keep things light and avoid posting opinions on my blog, but with yesterday’s events I was touched and needed to share. Besides, it’s MY blog after all.

As I awoke yesterday morning and began seeing and hearing the horrific news of the incident at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando I was horrified. I don’t understand the mental illness that makes a person take the life of another person or in this case more than fifty people.

I found myself especially torn by an interview of a mother trying to find her son. You may have seen that video. I can’t and don’t want to imagine the excruciating pain that mother must be going through. I admit I cried when I watched her.

I won’t discuss LGBT issues and/or gun control for that matter. In spite of our differences we are all humans and tasked with the labor to love one another. Let’s be honest in saying that some are just better at it than others.

As I watched the news, I couldn’t help but notice the helpers. People were carrying the injured to safety, using their shirts to make tourniquets, praying for and comforting each other, standing in lines for hours to donate blood, one man gave a “bear hug” putting pressure on an injured man in the back of a truck as he was rushed to a hospital, saving the man’s life. Some without a thought put their own safety in harm’s way to rescue another. I was inspired to see the natural amount of human sacrifice that was given to aid those that needed it most. I am amazed that in the face of the most horrible and evil circumstances a huge portion of the human race becomes helpers.

For all those reading this that are now living with an elevated level of fear, I encourage you to see past the ugliness and look for the helpers. Stay focused…There is so much good in the world.

I believe when we leave this world we go to a better place. We are welcomed with open arms by a loving Heavenly Father and by loved ones that have gone before. I can imagine the reunions that took place in heaven for those fifty plus that were rescued from this mortality.

Let’s challenge ourselves to be helpers to those that are healing in hospitals or struggling with the loss of a loved one. Opportunities are everywhere, every day to show love to someone that needs it. Let’s look out for each other, be positive and have hope. Let’s keep our judgments to ourselves and look in the mirror more often.

Love and Peace -

MY HAPPY PLACE

2016-06-03T11:36:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I finally made it to my HAPPY PLACE! If you know me you'll have a good idea what that means. If you don't know me that well, let me just say that my happy place includes a lot of sand and salt water. When I was young, my sister and/or friends and I would grab our beach essentials and head to the bus stop on Harbor Blvd. and Wilson St. in Costa Mesa, Ca. and pay a quarter for a ride to Newport. We would slather on the baby oil and lay there all day. I was blessed to grow up close to the beach, I love it and since I've moved 6 hours away I miss it everyday.

I took a lot of pictures. The first day we went to the Newport Pier. There were lots of people fishing from the end of the pier. They had their lines rigged with five hooks each. It was fun to watch them reel in multiple fish at the same time. A little girl fishing next to where I was standing squealed with delight when she felt that hard tug on her line. Her Dad shouted to her to reel it in fast. Little did I know that there were sea lions waiting for the lines to come out of the water so they could snag the catch. Those lazy sea lions. I clicked away at my camera, I knew I was getting amazing shots and couldn't wait to download the pictures. Now for the duh moment........wait for it........I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ALL OF THE PHOTOS I took. Heartbroken and shamed, I admit I have never done that before. There is a first time for everything. Dang it. The next day we went to Crystal Cove. It was beautiful, calming and surprisingly not crowded. Below is the picture overload taken at Crystal Cove.

Everyone needs a 'Happy Place'. I highly recommend you find yours and get there. Take a lot of pictures and whatever you do don't delete them!

TWO MORE DAYS

2016-05-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

Two more days and I'll be here! (Newport)

Visiting this little guy and his peeps.

And these amazing peeps. Curt and Reita Pearson

In four days I'll see my Kimball family. San Diego, El Indio, the best mexican food, and COUSINS I haven't seen in years. Here's to hoping your weekend is as good as mine.

Back row - Uncle Daryl, Aunt Jan, My Mom

Middle row - Janell, Debbie, Rick, Gary

Front - Darla, Carol, Me, Robbie

Front front - Bonnie, Lonnie

SPEEDBUMPS

2016-05-23T17:52:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed how many different kinds of speed bumps there are? The long, gentle ones that barely slow you down and you hardly even notice or the high steep ones that shake your car no matter how slow you ease over them. What about the ones that are one right after another, like 5 in a row. Could there be anything more annoying? Do they really serve a purpose?

I was thinking today how life has speed bumps. They come in all shapes and sizes. Life speed bumps could be financial problems, poor health, relationship issues, spiritual or a loss of faith. We all have them. Usually when we find life is going smooth then BAM, we turn down the wrong road or get on the wrong path and we hit a bump that shakes us up. Sometimes they are the smooth ones and take very little effort to get over and sometimes they are the kind that make us unsettled, irritable and hopeless. Sometimes they are brought on by ourselves and sometimes there is no one to blame.

I've experienced a few of these life bumps in the road. Honestly, some have been brought on by myself, but most are no my fault, "it's just life". One thing is for sure, I've learned a lot from these bumps. I try to enjoy and feel thankful for the smooth time in between. I try to appreciate the peace that comes from a smooth road in between.

Speed bumps are put there to slow you down, to protect you and those around you. Hmm..I guess the bumps in life could be compared to that. I do know out of the toughest bumps I've had, God has been there to help me through it. Sometimes I am stubborn and try to steer my way through things without any help. I've learned that I need to ask for help and when I do he is there with both arms open eager to help. Keep the faith my family and friends. Proceed over the speed bumps with care knowing that they won't last forever and you have a Heavenly Father that loves you and is waiting to help you. Just ask and he will be there. Love you all!

ALONG TIME AGO WE SPLASHED

2016-05-11T14:57:00.001-07:00

This is eight years ago. I wanted a pool so bad so we purchased a nice above ground one. Craig, Becca, Nicole, Tyler and I worked so hard leveling a place to put it in the yard. It wasn't fun at all, carrying blocks and hauling in dirt. We would start early and end late. When it was done, it was like paradise for me. As I think back on the experience I have a lump in my throat as I realize this was all for me. I will never be able to explain my excitement of filling that thing with water for the first time. I imagined pool parties and summer barbecues. I loved it. I would go out and just float and soak up the sunshine every chance I got.

It brought back memories of my backyard when I was a young girl. My Dad put up a pool in the backyard. He encircled it by a wood deck. We truly had the best backyard in our entire 'College Park' tract. He was clever and dug the center a little deeper so we had our deep end. My sisters and I would spend entire days swimming and playing games in that pool. Marco Polo became a real nuisance for my Mom. Fetching pennies and making whirlpools were also our favorites.

This picture brings back memories of such fun times. This is Kylie, she would climb in, always a little nervous and cling to me. She trusted me and I wouldn't let her go. I taught her to blow bubbles under the water this day.

My pool got old, worn out and needed to go, It's going to be Summer soon and where I live it gets hot. I can replace the pool but not the memories. I will cherish my pool time with my sisters in our youth and always remember that I could hold my breath the longest. I will also always cherish my pool time with my dear Grand daughter. Love you Kylie!

Mother's Day

2016-05-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

Below is my tribute to Mother's Day. I found it while surfing the web. It speaks loud of how all Mothers must feel, especially me. Happy Mother's Day to all the special Mother's that have touched my life. Most importantly my own Mom, who above all else made me feel loved.

Mother to Daughter

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she
and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.." But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"; that every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her; that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no
matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is alright. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However, decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her children accomplish their dreams. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of
nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God - that of being a Mother.

STARTING OVER

2016-05-04T15:13:00.002-07:00

Blogging was such a good thing for me, it made me happy. I don't know exactly why I stopped. Lazy pops into my brain, then I push it out. I don't have an excuse but I will start over.

So this is pretty awesome. Yep, Nikki is preggo. Little Leo will make an entrance sometime before the end of July. Isn't he precious! I can't believe the amazing images ultra-sounds can make these days. I remember when ultra-sounds were thought to be dangerous. haha. I may of just aged myself a bit.

Craig and I got to travel to Loveland, Colorado last weekend to be with Kayla on her special day.

I love this beautiful browned eyed girl! Eight is great!

This Friday, Craig and I will be on the road to my sister Carol's house. We'll be going to Tanner's baseball game and her husband Fred's Birthday Bash. Expect alot of pictures.

I'M BACK!

It's been so long I'll never catch up!

2012-08-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

So I won't even try. Just know that we are alive, healthy and happy........ Enjoy the following pictures of the people that make me smile :) Missing are Scott, Jaimie and Tyler. They don't seem to be around when I have my camera. Especially Scott and Jaimie, they moved to Kansas. They sure are missed around here.

THE GOODYEAR BLIMP!

2011-11-29T21:21:00.001-08:00

Have you ever seen the real Goodyear Blimp? Did you know you can hear it? It hums. When I was young we would travel north on the 405 freeway and pass the place where the blimp would be tied down by long ropes. I always thought it was so amazing.

On a recent trip to Long Beach with my sister Carol, we were passing Pomona on our way back home and there it was. It's been years since I've seen the Blimp. I had to take pictures. Carol was nice enough to stop the car. Now that I think about it, I am such a nerd, such a 'tourist'. I would never imagine getting so excited over seeing the Blimp. What has become of me........

Grandma's Day at Kayla's School and Halloween

2011-11-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to be invited and able to attend Grandparents Day at Kayla's pre-school. It was so cute and fun and I have to admit I did get misty eyed. Kayla is such an adorable little girl. All the Grandma's were asked to share a few things about our kiddo's. The things I shared about Kayla was:
She is the middle child. She loves and try's to do everything her big sister, Kylie, does. She is sweet and loves hugs. She is mischievous.

Then we made the cute art project below. I got to paint her hand purple, (she picked purple, it's both of our favorite color). The poem made me misty eyed again.

Kylie has a Halloween book with a picture of delicious Halloween cupcakes. We made some just like the picture. What do you think? Spooky, huh?

Jayden was a Candy Corn, Kylie was Aurora, Sleeping Beauty and Kayla was Dora. I love Halloween!

It's Time

2011-08-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

It's finally time to write about my dear, wonderful, fun, smart, handsome Father In-Law. Leon Gene Nebeker passed away on June 5th. It was a peaceful passing, one that he deserved having spent most of his time on this earth dealing with poor health. I loved this man, we were close, he was always there for me and in return I tried to be there for him. It's been a process to get to this point where I can push the emotion aside and put my feelings into words. But, it's time!
Below are some pictures and a list of some of my memories and experiences with Leon........

Leon lived with us for the later years of his life. He helped design his room in the our garage. Some people didn't agree that it was sufficient, but he would tell me time and time again how happy he was to be with us. He could hear the grandkids or his great grandkids playing or laughing and would tell me that was "All he was living for." He loved his family, "especially his great-grandchildren". It was a pleasure having him with us and I will always cherish the time we had to spend with him.
Before Craig and I were married, I came to the Nebeker's house on Sonora Rd. and made taco's. Leon loved my taco's. In recent years when I would cook them I would make a point of offering him some and he would gladly gobble a couple of them up.
I will never forget the first time I was a passenger in the car while Leon was the driver. One evening he gave me a ride to one of Craig's high school soccer games. From Costa Mesa to Mission Viejo. Oh boy, as a 17 year old girl, I was terrified of his driving. I thought that I would not live through the drive. He barely slowed down for a turn and apparently was colored blind as he saw green on every light. I am so thankful that I lived to tell the tale.
He was so random with his invitations to go somewhere. At the drop of a hat he would decide to take the family to Disneyland or Knotts and off we would go. No preplanning.
Every Thanksgiving after stuffing ourselves we would go to the movies. On one Thanksgiving we went to see the movie 'My Girl'. When the movie was over and the lights came on I glanced over to him and he was wiping tears from his eyes. He had such a tender heart.
Flying kites with the kids. Either at the Sonora School across the street or at Huntington Beach. Memories my children will always cherish.
Once he offered to take my boys Mike, then 5 years old and Scott, then 3 years old, to the zoo in Santa Ana. When he brought them home they told me about all the fun they had and that Grandpa took a nap on the bench at the park before the entrance to the zoo. I was a little, actually alot, horrified of the thought of my boys running around that zoo unsupervised. That was the last time Grandpa took the kids anywhere alone, at least while they were really young. It makes for a good laugh now but at the time?? No way!
The many times that he would take care of my yard. I tried to convince him that I actually enjoy mowing the lawn but he wouldn't have it. He could grow anything, he tried to teach me about gardening, I was a poor student. He loved to work outside digging, planting, even weeding. He would pick flowers, mostly roses and put them in a vase on the table. I had beautiful lush green grass and the best flowers on the block. My friends were jealous and said I had a personal gardener and I did.
His laugh, oh how I will miss that goofy laugh. Craig can do a pretty good impression though.
One Thanksgiving, one piece of pumpkin pie, one container of cool whip, my very proper grandfather, Homer Herbert, and Leon eating with his hands. LOL You had to be there.

I really could go on and on. I was so blessed to have this man in my life. I know that he is in a better place, reunited with my Mother in law, Norma Jean and he is happy. He was a wonderful Father in law, Grandpa and Great Grandpa to my kids. He'll always have a place in all of our hearts.

A long awaited trip back home

2011-07-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you'll know that I love the place where I grew up. Southern California still feels like home. Although the clean air, no traffic, slower pace of Southern Utah is appealing, I have to get down south every once in a while. The end of May we were able to make a trip to Orange County with Mike's family. It was a week crammed with an Angels game, a couple of trips and a bike ride at Newport Beach, 3 days at Disneyland, and visits with family and friends. It was a much needed trip, not that relaxing but much needed. I am so thankful for my home here in Utah, but in my heart I will always be a California girl! I downloaded way too many pictures, but I couldn't decide which ones to leave out. Enjoy!

Why I Love Him

2011-03-11T22:51:00.000-08:00

The top 10 15 things I love about Craig -

He grabs my hand and places it on his chest in his sleep

He calls me "Girlfriend"

He goes above and beyond to help me with anything

He enjoys his food (I know weird but you have to see him eat)

He gives me the remote for the TV in his man cave just so I'll sit next to him

The way he looks at our Grandkids

The way he loves our life together and isn't afraid to show it

He actually likes to go shopping with me, even if it's just to the grocery store

He is easy going and understanding

He respects and believes in his priesthood and isn't afraid to share it

He's compassionate

He tolerates and has patience with me

He makes me feel safe

He has courage and has endured more than most

He's been my best friend since I was 17

I love him