The New Age Bard

mazaa E Kalmadi - Tihar trials and Teas!!!

2012-02-04T07:08:00.013+01:00

Finally, the ordeal was over for Suresh Kalmadi as he got a much needed bail and came out of months' incarceration at Tihar. As he arrived into the city of Pune (his political fiefdom), one could not believe what was to be seen -hordes of supporters thronging along the route cheering their leader's return back home.

Suresh Kalmadi had a soiree where he released his book Khel Khel Mein- Uncommonwealth Saga!!!! During the book release, he also spoke about his future plans and all the planning that had gone in during his Tihar Institute of Heightened Access Reserves days.

This is how his day used to begin ... in his own words-

It was really a wonderful gesture on the part of the Government to assign me to the Tihar unit for some months. This was a blessing in disguise as I could fully concentrate on tasks at hand rather than keep on answering the same old questions about Commonwealth expenses etc. I had more important things to do rather than explain the imaginary loss to the country's exchequer.

In Tihar, I used to get up early in the morning at around 5 am and then head for a nice brisk walk around the campus and also sometimes outside the campus if I felt like it. The walk was followed by a nice shower and then a sumptuous breakfast. Some of the veterans there credited my presence for a change in menu. I used to have two idlis, some dry fruits, a bowl of museli and a big glass of Orange juice to wash it down.

Then I used to start my office. I had recruited some locals there as admin staff like reception, personal secretary etc in Tihar. Work related to planning for the London Olympics has been quite a uphill task and hence the quiet environs of Tihar facilitated my work.

I used to break for lunch at around 1.30 pm. Lunch was usually two high fiber rotis with some veggies with less oil and spices, some salads, a bit of rice and some sweets (usually a swiss fondue which is my favourite). Second half was usually reserved for meetings or conference calls with UK f0lks. The London Olympics is being planned on the similar lines of the CWG. We had made an intial presentation highlighting the profitability of the CWG event last year. All the opposition ranting apart - the UK folks were mighty impressed!!! This resulted in IOC being appointed as a Guardian Consultant and I becoming the head of The Honesty Integrity Ethics Failure Committee.

More on that later, a small fracas erupted some months ago where the media went gaga over a simple tea session that I had. Normally, my high teas are only with the corporate denizens in Tihar - only that one day, the Tihar Supervisor Officer had come to meet me to discuss his impending transfer and the only time I could allocate for the discussion was my tea time. Who said that a lot could happen only over Coffee? Malaika Arora... I guess....

On one occassion, I also had the privilege of meeting Mr. Anna Hazare. He had come into the Tihar unit as a gesture of some protest against corruption and Lokpal Bill - we both are so similar, both of us were in Tihar by our own free will!!!! He gifted me with a Gandhi cap which read - MAIN ANNA HOON. He warned me that he would be closely monitoring me and my deeds. I, being none the wiser - immediately made some changes on the cap and it now read - MAIN CHAUKANNA HOON!!!!! I hope Mr. Hazare will not have any problems with me now.

Now, let me explain what is my role in the coming Olympics in UK. The THIEF committee has been given a mandate to ensure that the London Olympics is just as devoid of politics, money laundering and squandering, corruption, sychophancy etc as the CWG was under my management. Many of you would wonder - how will this event and how was CWG as well profitable?

It is very simple, theories in Economics suggest that loss or profit is as relative to the capital invested. Extrapolating the same argument - loss or profit in one venture is relative to the loss or profit in a similar contemporary venture. Opportunity profit, just like opportunity loss; is the notional profit made in the absence of a notional possible impending loss. Some learnings gained during my interactions with the corporate in Tihar!!!!!

If I have to simplify and explain - I actually saved the country's exchequer by thousands of crores of rupees. How, if you will ask me - by ensuring that I did not take up the Telecom ministry!!!!!!

Gilani's NAAPAK intentions revealed in MEMOgate!!!!

2012-01-26T19:24:00.003+01:00

The recent days have seen a lot of political turmoil in our neighbouring state. Given the fact that there has been no single Government in Pakistan which has completed its complete term in office before being hit by a war, or a coup or a revolt or an assasination- this does seem to be a normal case. What is interesting this time is that the Pakistani Prime Minister pre-empted this situation and tried to seek help from America.

After the in-public humiliation that Pakistan had to face after the Osamabad incident, the Pakistani Premier Gilani was afraid of an internal takeover by the all-powerful Pakistani army regime. To prevent this, Gilani wrote a very private personal letter to Barack Obama asking for an intervention- should something like this happens. Though the letter has not become public yet, we have managed to get some insider information on it's contents. Presenting a salient summary of the important points covered by Gilani in his desperate letter to Obama.

Dear Barack HUSSAIN Obama,

Please note with specific interest in highlighting your middle name to generate some additional sympathy towards my humble self seeking assistance from the US Army.

Given the hide and seek games that you played with me some months ago when your troops came in and killed Osama Bin Laden - I strongly objected to this (I had would end all problems in our worlds and leave me job and penny less), you still went ahead and killed him. I do not blame you for that - before your ratings went any further down than the Pakistani economy- you had to do something to win back public favour!!!

Now that I agreed on that mission, you will be aware of the kind of humiliation we as a nation had to face. Now, this has snow balled into something that has always been a norm in Pakistan - the Army Chief Ashfaq Parvez Kayani is planning a military takeover. I believe that the main reason for this is that his visa for UK was rejected. This is one sure shot route to make a quick buck and then move to the UK and write a book and make another quick buck.

I approached Gordon Brown before I took up the pen to pen this letter. Brown was quite apprehensive in giving me a safe asylum in the UK. His argument was - from rogue Pakistani cricketers to ex prime ministers to ex cricketers to ex Military Chiefs- all of them have gone and settled down in the UK. This is causing some embarassing scenarios for UK's image globally. Hence he politely refused. As a good will gesture, he suggested that I could also approach the Saudi Royal Family to request them to take me as their official guest (like what they did for Nawaz Sharief) but sir, you know that I enjoy a good life and Saudi state is a bit conservative when it comes to my kind of high spirited individuals.

I also tried to seek assistance from Dubai. One of our esteemed citizens Mr. Ibrahim gave me some references to seek help. The Shaikh of Dubai, though very gentle and understanding- refused my request stating that the only hotel (Al Burj) where he was planning to put me up has been rented out to Excel Entertainment for their next venture Don 3. I am eagerly waiting to see King Khan jump off Al Burj to save Priyanka!!!!!

Another fear that has been slowly overshadowing my being is the threat from India. I am not sure if you are aware of these facts but India is currently refining a deadly bomb which can be used to corrupt and destroy our Pak culture. The bomb is Veena Malik. The war that India is going to launch against us is a war of a different kind. It will not be fought on grounds or glaciers but via channels and page 3 quotes. Veena Malik has initiated some preliminary attacks after her outburst at some of our over conservative religious Clerics.

It should be a matter of concern to you as well as two of your country's assets are also being sampled for this new media led warfare - Pamela Anderson and Oprah. While Pamela goes Dhak Dhak, Indian channels are making buck buck. Last I heard on this was - Oprah is being tested out in combination with another lethal indigenous weapon that India possesses - Rakhi Sawant. This lethal combination can wipe out the collective viewer mindset of both our countries.

Coming back to Kayani, I humbly beseech upon your kind consideration and judgement to allow me to come to the US and stay there as an asylum seeker. I will be self sutstaining as I will come with significant cash and resources. I will lead a new life in your country as a law abiding citizen. I will open a bakery chain and will aptly name it - Kayani Biscuits. I will avenge for what is being done to me by selling Kayanis each day!!!!

Whoever it was, but said it very correctly - revenge is best tasted sweet!!!!

Operation COVER UP - a LANDMARK crisis erupts in UP!!!!!

2012-01-15T00:28:00.009+01:00

The recent directive from the Election Commission with regards to the impending polls in Uttar Pradesh has met with some unanticipated opposition. The Election Commission ordered the state government to cover up all the statues of Su Sri Mayawati, her elephants and Kanshi Ram across the state. This decision was taken wth a view that these monumental statues could influence voters while exercising their franchise.

The result of this directive has had some strange outcomes. An independent poll was conducted across the state to gauge the public reaction and reasons for the same. Presented below are some snippets from the detailed survey.

An overwhelming 92% of the people interviewed were completely against this operation Cover UP!!!!
Now, this result stumped everyone as it was generally believed that these statues were symbolisms of ostentatious display of wealth and were not meant for any public good. Au contraire, the exact opposite was the reality.

Some of the responses are presented here -

Ram Prasad Sharma, a retired Government employee who stays in Azamgarh had the following to say," This entire operation Cover UP has resulted in direct damage to my knees. I used to go for my morning walks and I used to measure my walk from one statue of Mayawati to another and return back from there. Now, I do not know when to take a U turn and hence ended up walking more and hurt my knees".

It seems that the general working community of the state had marked the state into horizontal vertical and diagonal slots based on the locations of the statues. Maya ek starting from the Lucknow City Center statue to Kanshi 777 to haathi 999. This unique triangulation system of creating grid lines across the state had its own advantages - it overcame the cities and district barriers, it was also relevant in the interiors where there are no roads and you would never end up getting lost!!!!!!!

So, for example my office in Noida would be Maya 55, Kanshi 34 Haathi 48. Between these three landmarks woud be the building that I need to go to. So efficient compared to Sector 64 A7 where 64 has no correlation to 63 or 65 in terms of proximity!!!!! How elementary!!!!

Sham Kumar Gupta, a real estate broker complains," This operation cover UP has impacted my business in a big way. Earlier, the properties around the Mayas or Kanshis or Haathis used to fetch a premium in that order because there would be an assured electricity and water supplier in those areas. Now with this operation, all properties have to be kept at the same price and this has impacted my business".

The Mayawati government has ensured that all statue-park combinations have 24 hour water and electricity. The Mayas have 99.999999999 (11 nines) SLA where as Kanshis have 99.999999 (8 nines) and Haathis have 99.9999 (6 nines) SLAs. Such strigent SLAs are not to be heard even in the best IT organizations (Haathis have a downtime probability of just 31.5 sec/annum!!!!) Hence the abundance of power and water leads to more than adequate pilferage for the surrounding properties and residential areas!!!!

Amit Kumar Verma, a government contractor spoke on telephone from Zurich where he had some "bank related" work,"I have just bought a manufacturing unit in Schenzhen, China in anticipation of more orders for the statues. This directive from the Election Commission has just come as a bombshell for me. What am I going to do with the infrastructure that I have procured?"

On asking Mr. Verma if he was the chief contractor for this mammoth (pun unintended!!!) project- he mentioned that he was one of the lowliest contractors supplying silver coated tusks to be embedded into the elephants' statues!!!!!

Luxury brand Chanel has decided to file a suit against the Election Commission. Mr. Purseoir, the legal representative of the luxury hand bags company had this to say," We had paid the UP Government a huge sum of money to have our brand of handbag in the statues of the Chief Minister. This was our marketing strategy to gain a foot hold into the non elite market of India. This new directive has grossly diminished our brand visibility and is impacting our business in India. We will be filing an objection petition against this directive. "

Mayawati government had signed a 5 year contract with Chanel (to be renewed for another 5 year pending election success) to showcase their leather hand bag range across UP. Mayawati herself gracefully agreed to endorse the brand. Her charges for this endorsement was quite frugal - all she had asked the company was that the purse should never be empty!!!!

The remaining 8% who were in favour of Operation Cover UP just happened to be Samajwadi Party supporters!!!!

Under attack from different quarters, now the Election Commission is seriously reconsdering it's decision on Operation Cover UP.
Last heard from the CEC office was that the statues will be given a transparent polythene covering so that the sanctity of Operation Cover UP is maintained and the general population also appeased!!!!!

Swayam hitaye swayam sukhaaye, saari janta bhaadh mein jaaye!!!!

Ton Ton noGOPALA!!!!!! Sachin saga continues!!!!

2012-01-09T23:23:00.000+01:00

Dear Chums

Off late, a billion plus hopes are consistently being shattered each time the master blaster walks back to the pavilion nearly reaching there but not yet there!!!!

From Manmohan Singh to the Australian Premier to his fans to Sir Bradman's spirit up there - all are wishing for just one phenomenon to occur - Sachin reaching the pinnacle of records- a centurion century in test cricket!!!!!

Lot of questions are now being raised and advice pouring galore from all quarters - failed cricketers, politicians, actors, out of work NDTV spokespersons like Mahesh Bhatt, Shobha De, Suhel Seth etc on what could have gone wrong with perfection!!!!

The SCG test was supposed to be the place for history to be made but alas!!! Sachin walks out at 91.

Later in the evening in the dressing room, when MSD asked SRT about his getting out at 91, the answer that the little master gave stumped Dhoni to no end. His admiration for Sachin has since then increased manifold!!!!

MSD - Sachin, I am feeling so sorry and sad for you today. Again, you missed your 100th 100. I am really sad sir.

SRT - Ayla Dhoni, dont worry!!!! I am least peturbed about this. It is all a big media hype with no substance. Forget about it, let s go and have some fish curry.

MSD - Wow!!! You are such a great sportsman Sachin Sir!!!! You do not care for your personal records and still are very much the same team player that you were when you started your game. Such humility!!!!!

SRT - Dhoni, dont take it personally but this is the difference between playing with an experienced captain and a young boy. If it was Azzu bhaijaan, he would have understood everything and would help me in my cause.

MSD - Sachin Sir, I am sorry but did I miss any point? You know naa, off late I have been missing many catches, decisions, fielding arrangements and winnings etc.

SRT - Let me explain to you how this works - I am, off all people, the most concerned about this record of mine. I know that I can score this milestone whenever I decide to. I will be the first person in the history of this game to reach this stature and given the lure of IPL and T20s, I doubt if any other player living or unborn, will ever come any close to what I will be achieving.

You also need to understand the following -

Once I reach the milestone of hundredth hundred - the same media which is praying for my record will be discussing on when I will be hanging my boots. I am in no mood for that. I have a dream of partnering Arjun in his first test match to see him through his century. I want to fulfil that.

A lot of hype was created about me scoring my ton at SCG. A night earlier, I got a call from Sharad Rao Pawar. He told me that my milestone should ideally be in Wankhede and not in some Australian grounds. BCCI is planning to sell premium tickets for the test match in Mumbai where all the legends of the Cricketing and Sports world will be present to witness this event. Sharadji will be retiring from BCCI soon (he plans to get onto the board of EPL and F1 next, by the way) and he wants his exit to be a grandiose one with huge profits being raked in. He told me that there is a serious lack of Corruption in EPL and F1 and with his presence, he hopes to enhuse a good dose of the same into their processes. The stadium will be renovated once again for this special test match. Pakistan will be the lucky team to see history being created on the grounds.

You know about the new house that I bought in Mumbai - the insurance cover for that is 100 Crore. You think I decided that cover by fluke???? No re- once I hit my 100th ton, the insurers are going to waive off the premium as a gesture of gratuity. All I will have to do then is - do some ads for General Insurance, Oriental Insurance etc.

Some articles have surfaced suggesting that I need to go through a psychiatric course to overcome my mental block. I am just deliberating on some of the best neuroscience institutes for whom I can do some endorsements.

Also, till now nobody has noticed that I do not get out at 14 runs or 54 runs or 63 runs - each time I have to skillfully reach to a score where it appears that - oh now he is going to make it today!!!. You know the amount of money our NRIs made at SCG that day!!!!

SRT - Dhoni, now you understand the real secret behind the wicket? Aayla - you youngsters, always busy in getting haircuts and riding bikes, do not see the bigger picture!!!!

MSD - Sachin Sir- you are truly a genius!!!! You have opened my eyes to such a foresighted aspect that I could never even dream off!!!!

SRT - Chal re, lets go and have some fish curry!!!! The dessert awaits us in Wankhede!!!

Quit when people are asking WHY NOW and not when WHY NOT!!!!!

...Circa 2012

2011-12-31T00:46:00.003+01:00

Lokpal finally sees the light of day,

Team Anna now no longer is in the fray,

Kejriwal decides to don the politician's attire,

Ms Bedi sets her eyes on Television satire,

Anna still going strong, decides to correct now - the global wrongs,

GLandolan is the new mantra, as Anna undertakes international padyatra;

fasts are now becoming a global riot, Atkin has started endorsing the Hazare diet,

Wembley is the new Ram Leela, Om's spirited speech loses sheen to Charlie Sheen,

India is officially corruption-free,

team Lokpal is on a wealth amassing spree,

Rahul baba continues his yatras galore,

but Congress winning in UP is still a folklore,

BJP sees changing currents,

decides to bring young leaders afront;

LK Adwani is still center stage,

counters,"it s not the age but the mileage!!!",

Chorwaad anniversary bonhomie, it now emerges, was a sham,

Ambani brothers were actually hitting each other, the weapon being the stick instead of the stock, wham!!!!!

Being Tata is really important, realizes Cyrus, struggling to manage the empire,

Bombay House is now Gujarat Bhavan, Modi is happy but Cyrus faces papa Pallonji's ire,

Why this Kolaveri gets it's Grammy award-u,

Dhanush takes Why this Economy to the white house-u,

Rajini sir shows up on the big screen grossing unsurpassed profits and revenue,

World Bank approaches the Thalaivar for loaning billions, a few,

Beti B gets straight into the Bachchan tradition

endorses baby oils, baby soaps, diapers on television,

Master blaster contemplates retirement from the willows,

just after he gets his tonth ton fellows,

Leander makes his celluloid debut - to mixed reactions,

only to realize that the camera does not "court" on-court expressions,

Nandan's Chronicles- from an INFOSCION to a POLITICION - 5 - AADHAR is a bit BEEMAR!!!!!!!!

2011-12-27T00:38:00.003+01:00

prANNAm To All

Apologies for not being communicado over the last many months. I guess I last wrote after the launch of AADHAAR. After that it has been a whirlwind of a project for me. I doubt if I was ever so busy even during my hey days in Infosys. Well, with great challenges come greater responsibilities.

The life in New Delhi has been quite different and hectic compared to the earlier corporate life I used to lead. I have made some very good friends now. I attend the parliament sessions whenever there is an interesting discussion going on. I am into meetings with my team with regards to the tracking of the project progress and planning for the next set of AADHAAR drives.

With all these tasks, I have started attending evening language course for Italian. Our CMD - Edvige Antonia Maino prefers to speak to us in the party's official language - Italian. It has been an amazing experience becoming a student once again.

We have all been given Italian names. Mine is Nandosconi Nikeanni. I normally sit with Diaggovijo or Shastob Tratoori in these classes.

This reminds me - I need to text Murthy about this radically new method of teaching. We used to spend millions in Infosys on hiring language tutors but I never have seen anything like this. We are a collective bunch with different linguistic backgrounds. Some of us are familiar with English but an equally significant of us are non Anglicised as well. The tutor Raoul Maino manages to teach different groups of Congressites at the same time from their language to Italian!!!! Really amazng!!!!

Coming to the work front, as some of you would be aware of the AADHAAR project is going through some rough weathers in the recent days. Some concerns were raised by P Chidabredo about the security lapses in the project or whether AADHAAR was going to actually create breaches in National Security.

I was very worried when I read these news reports as Chidabredo has always been very cordial with me and always gives me a smile. I also heard that the Opposition members were also planning to agitate about Government's "wasteful" expense on this project.

I immediately sought an appointment with my manager - Manmilano to discuss this sudden and disturbing updates. This is my first project and I intend to take it to it's logical conclusion. An urgent meeting was in order.

Not all things are ordained to suit oneself - I realized this when I got a message from Manmilano's secretary that my meeting could be scheduled only after 3 weeks. Manmilano was busy with another important project which had a crucal delivery and was slowly slipping into code RED- project ANNAhilation. I was consoled by his secretary that in the coming days, nothing much would occupy mindspace other than this project. He advised me to take a couple of days off and cool my heels. This again made me wonder - how efficient is the Governmental system. Resources were given adequate time off when their projects were not at a stage of delivery - so unlike of my previous culture of 8 hours work day. So many things companies need to learn!!!!!

I took a week off and came back to Bangalore to spend some time with my family. No sooner that I planned to meet up with my old friends - I got an urgent summon back in New Delhi. Promptly, I had to cut my vacation short and head back without any clue of why this sudden change in plans. I spoke to my team if there were any more fresh salvos from Chidabredo or the Opposition and they confirmed negative.

As soon as I reached my office, Manmilano's secretary was waiting for me: tense and pensive. He told me that the High Command Unit of the party was awaiting me. Probably for the first time in my life - I was nervous and tense. I went into this room - Manmilano, Raoul and our CMD Edvige Antonia were waiting for me. The meeting was very brief and to the point. In next 24 hours, I needed to get AADHAAR cards for our dissatisfied customer Anna Hazare and his team members so that project ANNAhilation can be put on track. I was so mighty impressed with this quick briefing. What levels of excellence are maintained for customer satisfaction!!!!! Another interesting anecdote to be shared with Murthy.

As told in the meeting, I discharge my dutie with aplomb and send an email to Manmilano once the task is done.

Next day in the papers, I read about some members of Anna Hazare being sent notices about IT evasion and some other related articles about donations received for flight tickets being diverted into donations etc.

MERE COINCIDENCE, I think and continue reading the rest of the paper.

Anna Haafiz

Nandosconi

unCONTROVERSIALLY yours

2011-10-08T18:10:00.030+02:00

LOCATION
ISLAMABAD SPORTS INSTITUTION Office

PURPOSE
Interview

SUBJECT
Shoaib Akhtar

OCCASION
Book Release Review - unCONTROVERSIALLY yours!!!!

A sudden media carnage began the moment Shoaib Akhtar announced the release of his first literary outing - an autobiography, inaptly titled unCONTROVERSIALLY yours. His revelations from the passages of the book created what the covert intent was!!!! A fully flowing free fund publicity exercise without having much to do than to dress up nattily and camp at television news studios. That the public outcry would be so deafening was not planned for - the book release was kept on hold and Shoaib packed off to Pakistan. The ever-so-persistent-me could not wait further to unravel the biggest truths of the cricket world - maestros' fear factors!!!! In my attempt to get behind the prose and unravel the facts, here I am at the ISI office in Islamabad, in conversation with Shoaib Akhtar.

ME
So Shoaib, how does it feel to be back from India- bruised and banished?

SA
Oh, no... not at all... I mean I had a whale of a time in India.

ME
But, your book release did not happen in Mumbai as was planned and your publisher is contemplating the printing of any fresh copies so how do you justify that you had a whale of a time.

SA
That's what I mentioned, I had a time like a whale who is pulled out of water while being fished. As for my publisher not printing more copies - we are planning to sell this as a limited edition series in the UK. There will be a book launch in London in the coming days.

ME
Wow!!!! You have managed quite a coup!!!! From Mumbai to London!!!!

SA Yes- all Pakistani cricketers (present or ex) go to the UK and wash our dirty linen and live a semi dignified life. When our country slams us and shuns us- London becomes a safe haven for us. Butt is also planning a cricket academy in London as he is planning to permanently base himself out of London as his court case is going on.

ME
Ok, Shoaib - point taken. Now coming to the most important questions that I want to cover in this interview:-
Was Sachin really afraid of your bowling?
What raw deal did you get from Shahrukh Khan?

SA
Good that you have raised these questions. The Indian media never gave me a chance to explain what I was trying to explain for quite sometime before the book was launched. I have written what is the truth. Why should I be afraid of writing the truth?

ME
Calm down, can you narrate the entire incident on the day when you felt Sachin was afraid of you or was this a regular feeling?

SA (picking up a copy of the book) - This is a recurring feeling I get on a regular basis. I am being categorical that on some days and in some matches - I could sense a palpable fear in Sachin. There used to be a dot of a worry in his eye when I used to bowl to him. At other times, he used to be his usual self. If you go through the book, I have explained things in great detail.

It was a dreadful morning after a night of partying and alcohol. My head was spinning and aching away to glory. Today was the first match against India and we were in Kolkatta Eden Gardens. I was obviously not looking in my element. The team meeting was happening in front of me but it was all a blur for me to fathom anything. Wasim bhai came up to me and gave me a white tablet and told me to take it - it would make me feel better. Asprin, I thought and took it. Within a couple of minutes- the metamorphosis was amazing!!!! The throbbing pain had given way to a light-headed feeling and I felt so fluffy and light. I was chatting away to a dozen with somebody ...or was I chatting with myself?

As I walked into the ground, the chilly English weather was a perfect companion to my energized demeanour. I had to bowl the first over. The only befuddling thought that minorly scrapped through my head was - why were there no Pakistani crowds in the stands today? Normally Essex is full of them.... probably they would come in later...

As I started measuring my steps for the run up, I could literally feel the cold wind hit my visage with an unrestrained fury. Sachin was taking his guard. Why was he trembling? I am sure I could see his legs wobble and go unsteady... this in turn brought out the lion in me. Even as I started taking my run up, I was shouting and grunting... there it was .... I could see in Sachin's eye - a distinct worry in his eyes... about my pace and the speed of delivery I guess!!!!

I came in and bowled at a super hurricane speed. What happened after that remains unclear to me till this day. There was a dazzling of light, a crackle of sound and the next thing I remember is Wasim bhai walking up to me and telling me to bowl slow and then take a break after the last delivery of the over. I had a I was doing an action replay a couple of times and recollect that each action replay was followed by a crackle of a sound. Just as the action replay got over, I was told that my over was done and that I could proceed to the pavilion.
As I walked back to the dressing room - I remember with a clear distinction - India was at 36 runs for no wicket. I was feeling elated in my head - we have restricted India to only 36 in the entire match!!!!! Then I just hit the dressing room and slept off the entire day.

This is the excerpt that was taken up. I swear I saw Sachin trembling that day.

ME
Shoaib, but as per what you have described - I believe you were under the influence of some drug. Sachin was not afraid of you but was afraid for you. He was afraid that you may just blow up under the influence of the drug and may do something foolish like hitting the batsman or abusing the umpire etc. By the way, the dazzle and the crackle you described was the sixer that Sachin hit for each of your 6 deliveries in that match.

SA
All I have been saying is that I am being quoted out of context. Nobody was willing to listen to me. Imran bhai went to the extent of calling me a dope-headed maniac. I guess I forgot to mention that I was doped in the match during the interviews :)

ME
Well, nobody can blame you as well... you wanted free publicity and you got it but it was just too much to be managed that it became a problem.

SA
Yes- that s something that I had not anticipated. I think I overdid it. Watching too much of Rakhi Sawant interviews was the culprit. My media manager was earlier handling Rakhi's media briefings. I have learnt my lesson.

ME
Now coming to the next important question, what problems do you have with Shahrukh Khan?
SA
Well, I came to IPL into KKR with the only one intention and that was to get myself a firm footing into Bollywood. Earlier I was into discussions with Mahesh Bhatt but he offered me a negative role. Now, I have always been a bad man in my real life, if I played the same in my reel life, I would not be acting. Hence I refused.
Bhatts were making Jannat at that time and they wanted me in that movie. Mahesh Bhatt felt that this would be the best launch pad for me as I just had do to what I do in my normal life only that it would be in front of a camera.
At that time, Shahrukh bhai told me that he was looking for a fresh face for his upcoming production. Shahrukh told me that he was looking for a lead role for his home production. I am now repenting for refusing that one as well. The role was that of Ra.One

the FAST aNd the SpUriOus!!!!

2011-09-18T13:55:00.009+02:00

Over the last couple of months, many a political drama has been played out. Some good and welcome (Main bhi Anna Hoon) and well, some not (Rahul baba's blink-and-you-miss-it role in the Parliament. Sonia's not-so-secret treatment for a secret illness was missed by Arun Jaitley and Sushmaji. Does the UPA Chief have not trust in the nation's medical infrastructure?

Of course the dichotomous (I hope I got this right as I am not from an elite educational background) dichotomy raised by Mani Shankar to taxonomize St. Stephens and Hans Raj alumni was one more feather on his feathered gaffs!!!!!

One common trend that has emerged over the course of the events in the recent days is - a more egalitarian route towards fame and instant stardom. A force so potent that no army can fight it, a tool so effective that garners mass hysteria - FASTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fasting regime has been quite a contrarian phenomenon from the ostentations exhibited by our political fraternity just some months ago (refer to my piece on that as well here....).

Some of the fastings have been fiascos in their aim to achieve their ends (Baba Ramdev's great escape was worth its footage on national media). Some have been so effective that it brought the Parliament to it's knees (Anna Hazare).

As I compose this piece - Narendrabhai Modi has galvanized the BJP cadre and ranks to celebrate his 61st birthday with a 3 day fast christened as Sadbhavna. The 3 day extravaganza can hardly merit any egalitarian or spartan perception that the word FAST invokes. Tax payers' money is being spent on lavish buffet for the non fasting celebrities and normal fare for his hired followers.

Though, not getting into the details of this particular fast (it has achieved it's objective though, of projecting Modi as the BJP's prospect at the next General Elections).

Some of the fasts are being planned for the future and for more interesting agenda. Let us sneek a peek into some of the more interesting ones:-

M S Dhoni is planning a fast in the coming days. His fast is a pseudo acknowledgement of the English disaster that his team has recently come out of. Since all options were tried out, the divine intervention in this case is but expected. There will be some ad shoots along the peripheries of the fast with present and past cricket celebrities scheduled to drop in for some friendly matches and free coaching for the wannabes. The event is likely to be telecast live across the world and negotiations are on between BCCI with leading broadcasters.

Suresh Kalmadi is planning a fast unto fie event. He is plannning to have a big extravagant fast with themed English breakfast buffet in UK (preferably Lords) to demand to have the next Olympics (post London) in India. His is currently busy working out the modalities for the same. There is only one small glitch that he is still stuck in Tihar but that is not denting any of his efforts as he seldom fathoms or realizes that he is a jailed undertrial- God bless Amnesia.

Nitin Gadkari is planning a fast before the blast event. This event is on the request of his personal physicians who have warned him that his stomach may just blast apart if he does nothing about it. Gadkari is planning this fast at the lawns of a five star hotel in the capital with some light upvaas khaana (items permitted during religious fastings) like Sabudana khichdi, sabudana wada, faral, sev, aaloowadi (not the famed batata wada of Maharashtra). He plans to be on a strict diet during his fast for one day with consuming only a couple of plates of these savouries.

Not to be left behind, Sharad Pawar is planning a fast. This is for no particular reason but to pray for his betterment and prosperity. Poor chap, he thought he had to disclose what was in his wallet on that day in the Parliament when the PM mandated his ministers to declare their assets. Pawarji checked his wallet and replied 12 crore.

Amidst all these plannings, Sonu Nigam, Arindam Bhattacharya, Kailash Kher and Kiran Bedi are busy preparing themselves to regale the audience who would be thronging these events in the coming days.

Om Puri has already begun stocking up his bar as well!!!!!

When Manmohan Singh was quizzed on these developments and how his Government was planning to tackle the crowds and possible political repercussions that may emerge thereafter, he calmly smiled.

This is what the PMO issued as a communication," Manmohan Singhji has been on maun vrat for so many years now that he has been the PM, what are these small fasts in comparison?"

Something to be taken as a lesson by DigVijay Singh perhaps???

ARRACKshun : PROHIBITION

2011-08-12T17:23:00.009+02:00

Circa August 2012,

The last couple of days have seen such a media frenzy over the very prolific Prakash Jha's latest Magnum Opus AARAKshun : PROHIBITION. The movie stars Amitabh Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan,Prateik Babbar and Deepika Padukone - the same cast as his earlier movie.

Lot of attention and media space has been consumed by this controversial movie which tries to question some of the age old and seeped-in-tradition rituals.

The initial trigger was set when the Censor Board for Film Certification demanded some cuts and

gave the movie and A Only certificate. For the first time in the annals of Bollywood's history, A did not indicate Adults but Alcoholics.

Jha, who is known to make slice-of-life movies which question stereotypes and challenge conventional accepted societal norms; is not new to controversies. Let us trudge back (or should I say stagger back) a year into the past when his previous offering AARAKSHAN : RESERVATION had run into rough weathers.

And what a media ringmarole it had become!!!! Our ever-so-busy-to-attend-to-work politicians gunned after Jha for a preview of the movie claiming that the movie hurt the Dalit sentiment and that the film had all the characteristics of causing communal or social unrest.

The movie was initially banned in the states of UP, Andhra Pradesh and Punjab fearing social backlash and loss of the vote bank.

But what a cinematic climax this circus had and how!!!!

As anticipated, the release of the movie saw a huge unrest and there were a plethora of protest marches, litigations against Jha, silent protests etc... but from the most unexpected quarters of the civil society!!!!!

The COCKERS (COaching Classes for Knowledge and Education Repletion from the Society) took law into their own hands and went on a rampage across theatres showing AARAKSHAN. Otherwise silent, mild mannered and docile professors could be seen pelting stones and shouting slogans at these marches.

The COCKERS objected to the incorrect portrayal of their business and trade. They objected to the fact that the movie would corrupt the young impressionable minds of the students and may actually encourage them to start going to college and attend lectures. Demands were made that the last budget's taxes levied on this trade be revoked!!!

At the end, like in most real life stories, well, nothing much happened. The movie ran successfully and raked in huge profits and the protests weened out as the exam season was approaching.

The annual awards season saw a slew of trophies being bagged by the ARAKSHAN cast and crew.

Coming back to the present...

ARRACKshun has run into rough weathers and this time the protests are more poignant, stronger, intensive and SPIRITED!!!!

The movie supposedly tries to uphold the practice of abstinence as the core theme of its story... or so are the rumours doing the rounds. If the promos are any indication, not much is evident from the songs being aired on the TV channels. There is one bar song with guest appearances from Raja Chaudhury, Salman Khan, Aditya Panscholi, Dharampa ji... basically our tinseltown personalities with a leaning towards Bachchus!!!

Political leaders are demanding individual exclusive screenings of the movie prior to it's release and Jha is in no mood to relent this time. The movie is also facing huge threat of ligitation from BEVDAS (BEVerages DAarus and Sharaabs)- an obscure unknown local hooch union that the movie is threatening their livelihood and this is in direct conflict with the fundamental rights of citizens under the constitution.

Kerala has banned the movie giving a justification that the name of the movie is an insult on the state drink Arrack. If ARRACK is shunned, the Govt. feared large scale dehydration.

Punjab has banned the movie. The justification being if the movie is anti-drinking, what would a normal Punjabi do after sun sets if he does not drink. This is also in conjunction where Govt of Punjab in association with the erstwhile Royal Family of Patiala is trying to patent the Patiala Peg across the globe. The movie has come in at the wrong time!!!!

Uttar Pradesh has banned the movie. The justification being law and order problems. So much bribes are taken to give the THEKA licenses that people may result in violence if the movie is released.

Goa has banned the movie. The justification being that it may adversely impact tourism and Feni consumption.

Maharashtra has allowed only citizens less than 25 years to watch the movie. The logic being, one needs to be 25 to consume alcohol so no point in fearing any backlash from the non consuming age group!!!

West Bengal has banned the movie. The justification being.... well does one need any justification to ban things in WB?

The only state which has whole-heartedly welcomed the movie release has been Gujarat. Narendrabhai Modi has requested Jha to hold a special premiere in Gujarat for his movie.

Jha is planning to move Supreme Court against the state bans. He is arguing that let the masses first watch the movie and then decide if it is objectionable or not.

He has now realized that let better sense prevail. He is adopting the same strategy he opted for his last movie - release the movie wherever there are no bans, after the first day, most states will just quietely revoke the ban.

What is in store for ARRACKshun when the movie hits the screens? Will there be another faux pas like AARAKSHAN's supposed-take on reservation but eventual take on COCKERS?

Time will tell......

Or my next piece....

Sriky
http://www.ideasinfinitum.blogspot.com/

RakHi's SwayamWAR - ajab BHES mein gazab JAWAANIYAAN!!!

2011-08-06T09:54:00.017+02:00

The recent days have been pretty tumultuous across domains of politics with Yeddy shouting I am not READY to Madam undergoing a surgery in US (speaking volumes of the health care system in our country under her Government that prompted her to take a phoren tour!!!).

Talking of foreign tours, the Pakistani bomb that dropped on India created quite a flutter across the nation. In a nation where a young leader is usually on the wrong side of 50, Hina Rabbani Khar's first visit after assuming the role of the Foreign Minister made all the right kind of noises.

From the Hermes Birkin bag to the Cavalli sunglasses - the fashionista here was quite impressed.

Last heard on this front was, Rashtriya Mahila Saansad Parivahan, the doyen of our lady politicians have moved a motion in the parliament sanctioning the procurement and disbursement of Hermes bags and Cavalli sunglasses to all the women parliamentarians!!!

The other big event that made many eyeballs swirl with pride and envy (no, Onida was not offering any discounts!!!!)

Rakhi Sawant made all the news this time. She has now started a new show Ajab Desh ki Gazab Kahaniyan (or something similar.....)

This is not why she is making news. She is making news because after an unsuccessful attempt to find herself an approrpriate groom in the telly show Rakhi Ka Swayamwar, she has now found her Mr. Right!!!!!

This Mr. Right happens to be Baba Ramdev. Rakhi has had an affliction towards Babas. After her announcement to the world that she found Rahul Baba quite hot, not it is the time for Ramdev to be the cynosure of Rakhi's attention (and devotion and adulation and seduction and many other tions that I would just care to shun!!!).

The following were some of her motherhood (oops she is still a kunwari kanya!!!) statements at a recently called press conference.

She made her entry around an hour late and apologized that her luggage had been lost in a flight transit and hence she had to make it to the venue in an itsy-bitsy garment camouflaging as a dress!!!!
"My sarees have been misplaced by the airport authorities", she shouted hoarse, accusing the airline of forcing her to dress provocatively. But that she being a Bharatiya naari, she tried covering herself with whatever clothing she could make do with!!!!! Well, one member from the fourth estate was commenting that she hardly leaves anything for imagination!!!

She began the press meet by openly declaring her love, adulation, fascination, emotion and motion for Baba Ramdev. My Swami, as she likes to call him. "Woh jab andhar baahar andhar baahar karte hain, to mujhe kuchh kuchh hota hai!!!!", she claimed. And before any further controversies could be invited, as an after thought she added coyly - saansein.

Obviously the reporters there were plain disappointed after the caveat. You do not come to a Rakhi Sawant press conference and do not get any spice!!!

One scribe raised a pertinent query whether Ms. Sawant had recently met Baba Ramdev or how did they get introduced to each other.

Rakhi, without batting an eyelid replied back," Mera unke saath mel milaap ho chukaa hai. Jismon ka milna sirf milna nahin hota, aatma se aatma ka milna bhi milna hota hai. Main unke aashram jaane waali hoon ya woh yahan mere show pe aayenge. Agar main unke aashram gayi to hum donon ek saath bhook anshan rakhenge aur woh mujhe apne saare paitrein sikhaayenge. Agar woh mere show pe aayenge to main unke liye saatvik aur paavan nritya karoongi."

On being probed further, Rakhi revealed that she would be performing to one of her favourite songs,

Bach ke rehna re BABA, bach ke rehna re,

Bach ke rehna re BABA tujh pe nazar hai,

Tere liye aayi teri hai deewani,

Chumein naachein gaayein hum sang tumhaare sang tumhaare

Bachke rehna re BABA, bach ke rehna re!!!!

She also revealed that she would be proposing marriage to him over Television and it would be covered live by national as well as international channels.

The cumulative package deal for broadcasting the live proposal and the subsequent nuptials will be fetching an unimaginable amount.

She also announced that both Baba and she would be shifting to Baba's island in Scotland post marriage and Baba Ramdev would be focussing on building his empire across Europe while she would be trying her talent in European television.

After the press conference, some scribes managed to get the following statement from Baba Ramdev -

"Hum to kabhi ke humaare bhakton ke ho chuke. Rakhiji ko hum dil o jaan se bulaana chaahte hain apne aashram mein. Agle hafte mein hi mahotsav ho sakta hai. Hum donon zindagi bhar ek atooth bandhan mein bandhne jaa rahe hain."

The newbyte hungry scribes were excited beyond control. Their television channels had enough fodder for the next couple of weeks!!!!!

Lastly Baba added, "agle hafte Raksha Bandhan jo hai, Rakhi ke haathon se Raakhi bandhwaane mein humein bahut khushi hogi!!!"

hIgH VAULTage TrEaSuReS TuMbLiNg OuT of TemPles' PrEciNcts!!!!!

2011-07-17T14:05:00.011+02:00

Dear Chums

The last couple of days were full of so many events (it seems that something interesting always keeps on happening nowadays unlike the days of the yore).

As Baba Ramdev and Anna moved into their respective sunsets, divinity was beckoning for attention down in Kerala.

With the vast amounts of unheard of wealth in terms of gold coins, gilded ropes and antiquities and innumerable ornaments of unimaginable value and worth- all eyes are now focussed on this-till-now-a-normal-temple at the Padmanabhaswamy Temple.

I have had the good fortune of visiting this temple some years ago during my short trip to Kerala with my friends from Pune. As the news about the wealth being found trickled in, I was agape in awe and wonder.

If this was what was found in some sealed vaults of a religious temple from those ages where piousness and honesty was a way of life, what would be the quantum that could be waiting to be unearthed from the vaults of our unscrupulous and dishonest netas!!!!!

Not wanting to go that path, this piece concentrates on what is being planned with this sudden turn of fortune for this temple.

The Maharaja of Travancore, His Highness Marthanda Varma has categorically maintained the stance that this wealth is Lord's wealth donated over the decades and centuries by the Royal Family to the temple and also by the Royal Guests to Travancore.

Not many are of this opinion and let us see some of the more interesting suggestions that have come up over this religious booty being found.

The Mammoothy-Mohanlal fan club have come up with the idea that a vast portion of the temple wealth be donated to these two demi-gods if they happen to lose or forfeit some component of their fortune in the recent IT raids.

Experts on Malayalam cinema have opined that the divine charity may just be able to replenish their undeclared wealth, if seized by the IT sleuths.

Behenji Su Shri Mayawati has made a request that UP should also get some part of this treasure which will be used for welfare and well being (whether Swayam Hitaaye Swayam Sukhaaye or Sarjan Hitaaye Sarjan Sukhaaye) is not something that is clear.

The plan is to construct Golden Statues of Kanshiram and Mayawati at every street corner and junction in UP.

Not to be left in the lurch, Suresh Kalmadi has also petitioned the Supreme Court with an injunction on any decision to be taken on the disbursement or usage of this treasure.

His plan is that this treasure be used to make so many gold medals and distribute among all the Indian atheletes that whether they win in the tournament or lose the same- they will definitely come back home with gold medals!!! Probably, he would be vindicated that he has done his duty of getting Gold for his players!!!

While all this furore was going on in full frenzy, the Government of Kerala was facing a different enigma - how to ensure the safety of this mammoth and unheard of wealth!!! What would stop any Government officer to connive with an entire set of people and siphone of a part of this wealth??

They have come up with a plan that they will use a significant amount of this wealth to create a separate army to protect this treasure and what part will be left after this expense will be used in the maintenance of this super-elite armed force!!!!!

There were some more claims to this treasure from the most unexpected quarters of India- from Laloojee to Sharad Pawar -each claiming some logic or rule to get a part of the booty.

One claim has suddenly found much favour with Bollywood as well - Mr. Bharat aka Manoj Kumar has claimed that he should be rewarded for his clairvoyance and that he had prophecised this years ago.

This just was the most bizarre claim till now until he was summoned in the courts and when asked for an explanation - he calmly played out a song from a cassette player - Mere desh ki dharti sona ugle, ugle heere moti - o mere desh ki dharti!!!!

After this bizarre turn of events (though Mr. Bharat's litigation was quashed by the courts!!!), there were noises made for sometime until one fine day.....

The special panel overseeing the management of this treasure received a special petition request that some part of the Gold unearthed should be given to this person as this impacted one of his basic constitutional right of Roti Kapda aur Makaan!!!!

The panel pondered a lot on this particular litigation and eventually decided that some component of this booty may be shared with this person so as to fulfil the basic trio necessities of life (food clothing and shelter).

So, in went this portly litigant and came out decked in some most artistically carved and designed jewellery.

No points in guessing.... he was Bappida!!!!!!

A contextual joke doing rounds on the internet is -

Rajinikanth also requests for the total inventory list of all the precious ornaments and gold that tumbled out of the Sri Padmanabhaswamy temple.

When the temple authorities requested Rajini to give reasons for his request - he calmly replied - I just want to share this with my wife so that she finds something from that list not in her wardrobe, I will have to get her the same.!!!!!

INDIA's FaSt TrAcK SuCceSs SaGa!!!!!!!

2011-06-18T20:36:00.003+02:00

Hi All

The recent events unfolding over the last couple of days have seen some high drama across the National Capital. The Lok Pal initiative took gargantuan leaps. What started as a fast by Anna Hazare took an unprecedented turn when the Yoga guru Baba Ramdev also started an independent movement and a fast unto death against the existing corruption. I was just wondering why Baba was oblivious to corruption all along when he was busy building his multi-crore empire!!!

But, nonetheless, Baba's fast at Delhi's Ramlila maidan was met with a huge support and revelry by his lakhs of fans. Though this was an austere affair in the least sense of the word, the arrangements were truly world class. Air coolers, ceiling fans, lime juice bottles, bottled water bottles etc were all arranged by Baba's aides.

Though the Government was trying its best to avoid any face-offs or showdowns, Baba was not in a mood to relent. The eventual action was the icing on the cake (given the goof ups galore happening in the UPA Government after Adarsh, CWG, 2G etc). The police lathi charged the supporters and Baba was forcefully taken back to his den in Haridwar.

After all this drama and the dramatic events, I managed to speak to Baba when he had just broken his fast of 9 days in Haridwar.

Me - Hello Baba, so how are you doing today?

Baba - Beta, I am doing fine, a bit refreshed after breaking the fast but still a bit weak.

Me- Baba, everybody wants to know only one thing, what is it that you are demanding?

Baba - What kind of a question is this? The entire world knows what I am demanding?

Me- Ah, so is this about Income Tax Exemption for your other private companies?

Baba- Not only this, but also that India should be free of corruption and India should get all the black money stashed in Switzerland back.

Me- Baba, the first request of IT exemption is what I believed was the deal that you entered with the Government, but how can you eradicate corruption from the country?

Baba - It is very simple, one can eradicate corruption by doing my personalized asanas and pranayam!!!!!

Me- What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baba- People should practise Unbribasana each day, should consume Patanjali tonics like Greedetox for example. We have a huge portfolio of such prescriptions.

Me- How do you intend to address the issue of money lying in Swiss banks? There are questions raised by many critics that even you will be in trouble if and when this happens. Swiss banks have a legendary secrecy clause which is the cause of banks there being money havens.

Baba - I have a solution for that as well. First and foremost, I do not have any accounts in Swiss banks. They did not accept my application saying that my profession as a Sanyasi was not recognized by their government. I have accounts in Scotland and other places. I have only raised demands for bringing back money from Swiss banks. So, I am safe.

Secondly, I am planning to hold a shibir in Zureiche with a fast agitation in the couple of days. I will be addressing this issue on that platform.

Me - How do you propose to do this task?

Baba- Oh, that's very simple, I have an Ashram and a huge Yoga centre in Zureiche as well!!!!!

Me - Wow, Baba!!!!!! You have thought of everything!!!!!

I have one last question that everybody is wondering about - what did Sri Sri Ravishankar tell you that made you break your fast?

Baba - Oh, that s also very simple, SSR just showed me the TRP ratings of the TV channels and the breakdown of the coverage percentages. By the 8th day, most viewers had lost interest in my fast so I had to do something new. So I broke my fast and again secured millions of eyeballs!!!!!!

Sriky

Obama visits OSAMAbad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-05-30T13:00:00.003+02:00

Dear Chums,

It has now been over a year that Osama Bin Laden was shown the door from the planet by the US Navy Seals in an obscure military town base Abbottabad. The aftermath of this incident were very varied in nature, actions, procrastination, protests etc.

Never before were the relations between Pakistan and America so gingerly hanging in doubt.

Circa 2012…..
First and foremost, I am alive and hale and hearty and kicking, so all doomsayers predicting the end of the world in 2012- go and find some other date for an Armageddon.
There have been many changes in our immediate neighbourhood.

After the initial grudging and cribbing at all the international forums- Pakistan has come to terms with what happened on that fateful night. Pakistan has now resorted to – we always supported such initiatives rote.

Besides this, over the last 12 months, the following have been some of the interesting developments:-
Abbottabad is passé. The small military base town has been rechristened as Osamabad.It has become the most visited place in the planet over the last one year- surpassing the more conventional tourist destinations of London or Paris by huge margins.
Obamabad attracted more tourists than any other place.
The sleepy town has developed into a busy cosmopolitan city with a plethora of hotels, restaurants, bars etc.

The governance of the town is managed by a joint corporation of PLAGUE- Pakistan and League of Afghani Guerillas United Enterprise. This was formed under the aegis of the Pakistani Government and a Conglomerate of Afghanistan Government and Rural Warlords.

The now-famous residence of Osama Bin Laden has been renovated, extended and turned into a museum.

The museum houses a theatre playing the numerous video tapes recorded by Osama, an art gallery of his pictures, his guns etc.

The museum has a memorabilia and souvenir shopping center where Osama magnets, dummy guns etc are sold.

For a charge of 120 USD, visitors can don the robe and a beard and get their pictures taken against a backdrop of a desert wall. This has become a rage among the visitors.

Pakistani tourism has taken a stupendous leap after this was implemented.

The colloquial term used – Terror Tourism is being considered as the new mantra for travelers.

This is not all about it- the icing on the cake of this spectacular Terror Tourism is what was inaugurated by President Obama last week.

For a fee of 500 USD, visitors are taken to the US army base (now converted into a mini tourism centre itself) in Afghanistan, dressed up as Navy Seals and can actually experience the night that changed the world. Visitors can travel on US army stealth helicopters and enter a special zone of the museum where a miniature replica of the original house is created via ropes.

President Obama inaugurated this facility last week and this is what he had to say,” I hereby dedicate this facility to the betterment of Pakistan and Afghanistan Tourism industry. America has always maintained that our relations with both Pakistan and Afghanistan are strategic, important and very vital for our existence (non conformance may lead to more catastrophes). May this museum serve as a reminder to humanity of what consequences can result out of terror and terror-based organizations.”

In the evenings, there are cultural shows in which leading Pakistani artistes perform and enthrall the audience. Veena Malik is the official brand ambassador for PLAGUE and her classical performances (practiced and honed to the hilt in her Big Boss days) are sure hits.

Gastronomic delights like Barack Barfees, Laden Laddoos, Seal Kababs, Osama special platters pamper the visitors at the museum restaurant – Food Laden.

Though the Indian Government has been silent all along on this matter, there is a simmering discontent among the politicians on this sudden development in Pakistan.

The official statement that has come out from the GOI spokesperson was something like this – “We as an immediate neighbour of Pakistan are deeply happy about the prosperous turn in Pakistan’s fortunes. Now that Pakistan is moving into a road of self sufficiency and peace, we feel that the time is right for Pakistan to repay back the 500 Crore INR adjusted at today’s inflated rates which India had given in 1947.”
Sriky

Mohali Maahol!!!! KRICKET Diplomacy comes of AGE!!!!

2011-04-01T23:58:00.007+02:00

Eleven flannelled fools chasing a red ball, with eleven thousand fools cheering them.

Bernard Shaw

This Englishman would have turned aback in his grave!!! By George!!!! Had he glimpsed the current fervour and crescendo the game has attained. The World Cup which began in an almost staid and lacklustre manner (the Opening Ceremony was quite a damp squib, my thoughts) – slowly but surely reached a state of frenzy with each win for India.

The week saw the Mother of All Matches at Mohali – the one which was keenly anticipated, awaited, attended and finally achieved!!!! Yes the Mohali Madness had such a viral frenzy that has seldom been witnessed in the willow world.

The match was no more a match but a national event with a Moholiday across almost the entire country. The game assumed more guargantuan proportions when our Politicos entered the arena.

Manmohan Singh’s invitation to his counterpart was an act unprecedented resulting in the coining of a new term in International Polity – Cricket Diplomacy. Last that I heard was this was going to be included into the Merriam’s list (the list that Oxford Press collates to add new words into the dictionary).

Soon the new channels went so gaga over this event – special NDTV episodes were quickly canned focussing on the dress code, IAF copter from Islamabad to Mohali to the menu items on the hosted dinner. Sanjeev Kapoor hosted a 6 episode serial on his channel dessicating each item on the menu along with its political flavours and tastes!!!!!

What happened on the ground is….. well HISTORY!!!!! What happened after the match is …. Well was a MYSTERY which I am demystifying for you!!!! Given the immense media hype and public favour that was generated because of the Mohali Match- India and Pakistan both have decided that the best way to move forward is by playing cricket. Cricket has been redefined now… and HOW!!!!

A daily soap match is planned between India and Pakistan under the aegis of SPORTS. This will be played for one hour every evening. The format is such that 26 weeks is one innings covering a year for a match. The entire concept and copyright for this format is the brainchild of Balaji Telefilms. The game has been rechristened as KRICKET along with an assortment of new word formations like Katch, Knee before Wicket, Kover, Kat (Ekta beware of Sallu… Ranbir…???), Kall etc.

There will be celebrity umpires with a vast varieties of audience participation events planned. Some of the celebrities rumoured to be umpiring the game for the weekend episodes are Big B, SRK, Aishwarya Rai etc. Rajnikant was requested to grace one session but he refused as his presence was conditional to the fact that 22 Rajnis will play amongst themselves.

One week is being planned wih AB Corp as – Kaun Banega Kricketer with live audience given a chance to play the real game. The rules of the game will be suitably modified to accommodate these events.

Veena Malik and Shoaib Akhtar (he is now a celebrity kricketainer) are busy practising for a hot and racy item number for the Pakistani team whereas Mallika Sherawat and Emran Hashmi are doing their bit for the Indian team. Mallika- Emraan are shooting at the Lords stadium for a hot racy and a passionate item number. The song is reportedly inspired from the unforgettable dialogue rendered by the original He-Man Garam Dharam. The song is titled – Choom Choom ke Maaroonga!!!!

Manish Malhotra has designed the sportswear for both the teams.

The broadcast rights for this entire annual extravaganza has been sold to a consortium of NDTV-ESPN-BBC-CNN-ZEE (as none of the individual companies could afford to bid solo). The advertisement revenue to be generated is pegged to be so huge that The World Bank is contemplating a loan request.

All international meets and deliberations between the world leaders are being planned to be kept along the match venues after the Kricket Diplomacy followed in Mohali. The premiere of such Konference with Kricket will be next weekend – with Barack Obama scheduled to meet Gadaffi over the Libya tensions. The two leaders will discuss a peace tract while watching the match. Dawood Ibrahim has also requested for a slot with Chhota Rajan at a later date but there were some visa issues with his passport bearing no nationality emblem.

An army of script writers are being assembled by the Balaji team to ensure that the match has enough thrills and moments of suspense thrown in.

It is rumoured that Sreesanth has been undergoing special diction classes in the different variants of Hindi (as spoken in Delhi to Azamgarh to Mumbai) so that the sledgings will be world class and have pan Indo-Pak appeal.

Farah Khan has choreographed the post-wicket jig’n’lap for Indian players where as Mithunda has done the honours for the Pakistani team.

The match will be shot on a cinemascopic format with 3D effects thrown in. Pixar has been roped in for some dazzling special effects.

India has abstained from any other international engagements for the year.

IPL has been dissolved. ICC has been bought over by SPORTS Inc (Sharad Pawar’s Organizational Robberies and Transnational Scams).

Last heard was – Lalit Modi has approached SPORTS to act as a consultant. If recruited, he will be working with Shashi Tharoor who has quit politics to turn into a full time mentor.

Mohd Azharuddin has been roped in as the official time keeper (given his fascination for watches), He will also be managing all the bettings and spot fixes that will happen in the due course. He now owns an event management company –Fixations, which has bagged the exclusive rights for the same.

Sriky

CHEEKYPEAKS.com - the Indian secrets tumble out!!!!

2011-01-30T12:24:00.010+01:00

The recent months have been all of the season of scams!!! Not just India, worldover, the secrets and skeletons are tumbling out of the closets.

The recent wikileaks full of the official American cables full of embarassing and eloquent takes about the world leaders was just the tip of the iceberg.

Not to be left behind, things were not calm and serene back home. A similar exercise was being planned. Just as we Indians like it big and better in most things - this one was proving to be a very promising expose!!!

Unlike the wikileaks, the website www.cheekypeaks.in captured call details, cables being wired and also corridor gossips to create one interesting and scandalous story.

The founder of www.cheekypeaks.in, Mr.Jholiyaas Hasdaange shared some interesting snippets out of the entire story.

Here is an unbridged verbatims and cables duly translated!!!!

Salman-Vivek conversations unbuttoned!!!!

Yes- that's correct Cheeky Peaks has managed to get hold of a tape recorded conversation between Sallu and Vivek (though the entire world feels they are not on talking terms).

SK - dude, now that you are married, can you help me to find a new arm kandy, Katrina Kaif is no longer safe!!! She is acting too pricey and young for my tastes.

VO - Salman bhai, no worries- I have heard about this hot new female who is being launched with Ranbir - Nargis Fakhri. I will set up a date meet between you two and you can try your luck!!!

Sharad Pawar - Onion- a non tear jerking saga!!!!

Onion- Pawarji... thank you very much for your continued support this year as well!!!I have been laughing my way to the banks ever since I became a scarce commodity.
Sharad Pawar - No worries, even I have been laughing my way to the banks this year. Remember, you will get your turn again only after some time. Tomatoes, pulses, bananas et al are waiting in the queue. Also, the world cup will commence and that will bring me more money than all you vegetables.

Sreesanth- Bhajji - practising for another cheeky encounter!!!

Yes, after the infamous slapgate during the IPL season, these two have been conspicuously not come together on any public platform. It was surprising and entertaining to listen to what they were planning for the upcoming world cup.

Bhajji- Hey Sree, forget what happened in the past and let's concentrate on the world cup dude.

Sree- Good for you, I am not even selected.

Bhajji - Don't worry, you will come into the team eventually. Just ensure that you make an announcement tomorrow that you are planning to cut an album on the world cup songs that you have penned and also that you will be performing by the sides in the stadia wherever India is playing. To thwart this danger, you will be given an entry into the team.

Sree- wow that s a great idea dude!!! Once I am in the team, we will again have a fight and make out (sorry make up) in media glares so that our meters are still running for a good couple of months after the world cup.

Anil-Mukesh Ambani - unreliable Reliance practise

After their infamous bouts in public over the KG basin gas or Reliance split-the two siblings have never come together for any public event. Cheekypeaks has finally unravelled the hidden intentions and the long drawn plans of the India's richest business tycoons.

Anil- Bhai, this spectrum heat is spoiling whatever little winter is there in Mumbai. I am sure this is going to go into a lengthy media melange over the coming months.

Mukesh- Dont worry, we will use the trick that Papa taught us so many times. We will create a share holding trail leading from RCOM to RIL. You can announce that you want to sell your stake to me. This will crash the stocks of the company in the market. Internally, I will buy the crashed stock at dirt cheap price. I will make an announcement that RCOM will be rejigged. The investors will be happy, stocks will rise, I will sell in the market. You can then join the board. You have no liability as the board of RCOM will be dissolved and RIL board will go to court against CBI and let the case do a marathon just like you.

Anil- Thanks bhai!!!! Papa ka sapna, sarkaar ka maal apna!!!!

Manmohan - Madamji - a Khamoshi in the making!!

Cheekypeaks also managed to get into the PMO and get transcripts of the calls between the PM and the Madam. Surprisingly, when they played the tapes, they heard only silence. Completely flummoxed, they were at their wit's end when some Alec smart came up with the reason. When talking to Madamji, the PM is speechless!!!! That eventually led to a logical reason for the blank tapes. The cheekypeaks team managed to get the cells tapped this time and when they played back the recorded conversations, it was in a language completely alien to all. The language was phonetically sweet and garrulous at the same time.

!@!@$$######!#@#@#@#(*&^(>>@###@@#(@#%(&^$">*&^$*$#$%@#$#*@#@#@@>>>@###@@#(@#%(&^$

Again, they thought that this might be some kind of a secret language created by RAW for the most important people of the country. They were trying to prepare a brief on this breaking news that there is a new language used in the upper echelons of the political system when the ordered pizza and pasta came from Dominos to the Cheekypeaks office. The courier boy- Banta Pappu Singh heard the recordings while he was waiting for the payment and remarked casually that his Taayaji also speaks like that. The Cheekypeaks Editor Hasdange was shocked.
He took the young Banta to a corner and spoke to him.
What happened after that .... Hasdange could not control his laughter for nearly 15 minutes.
Banta explained that this was both Punjabi in Italian mix and Italian in Punjabi mix which his Taayaji running a department store in Milan spoke!!!!!

Sriky

ADARSH bites AAH DUST >> the Phoenix rises from the debris!!!!!!!!

2011-01-19T06:14:00.009+01:00

Dear Chums

The New Year has begun and how!!!!

The events are unfolding at such a frenetic pace that blogs may not do adequate justice and cover all events- tweets might…

Yesterday, the judgment on Adarsh Housing Society came out – wow!!! Such speedy outcomes have become the norms of the day!!!

Jairam Ramesh has come up with 3 options as a remedy. If all investigations were in time - … just impossible to imagine the scenario!!!!

First - demolish the entire structure as it is completely in violation of CRZ rules.

Second – demolish all but 6 floors of the structure as they were the only ones for which approvals were taken

Last – the Government takes control of the entire building to use it as deemed fit.

Now, Jairam has proposed that option 1 be considered and the entire building be demolished. This would be an apt and a fitting response to such a brazen act of corruption.

This has led to another conundrum that the government is trying to resolve – who will get the contract to demolish the structure and who will make away with the booty of the debris and scrap metal??

There is a strong lobbying underway to bag these two contracts – given that staying in that house may not be a reality.

Ashok Chawan has proposed his sister’s firm to carry out these two contracts – his argument, this entire building cost him his post and that too for his mother–in-law!!! His immediate family should be compensated now!!!!

Other proposals with such similar reasons are just flying everywhere. Poor Prithviraj Chawan is trying to placate one and all!!!!

In the wake of this new issue that has been brewing, the Government has decided to go for the third option – to take control of the entire building and to use it as deemed fit.

This is what is going to become off it!!!

AAH DUST SCAMPHITHEATHRE OF FINED ARTS AND MUSEUM

The first of its kind in the world!!!! Mumbai proudly presents the single largest collection of it’s scampaigns of the past diamond era!!!! Enter, enjoy, enrich yourself and get corrupted!!!!!
There are museums on Vodkas, Scotches, torture tools (one in Amsterdam), sex (again in Amsterdam) – but nowhere in the world is there a MUSEUM OF SCAMS!!!!

Though revisiting the colourful (read tainted) history of our country may be an arduous task, given that the last two decades have been so coloured and checkered!!!!

Let me elucidate on some of the finer sections of this unique museum:-

The top 10 floors are dedicated to the fine art and practice of research and academic studies in the domain of scams. A new line of subject has been also created and now recognized all over – JHOLOLOGY (derived from the colloquial Hindi word Jhol which means a con or a scam or to cheat).

5 floors are housing The Harshad Mehta Memorial Institute of Capital Market Butchering. Detailed researches, discussions and debates happen here on a regular basis. The institute has dedicated itself into inventing novel ways of profiting by way of financial frauds and irregularities in the markets. Just last year, the institute received a huge grant of around 1000 Crores from Ketan Parekh.

The institute also houses a souvenir shop which is being managed by VIP which sells miniatures of suitcases filled with dummy currency notes of 100 crore.

A part of the structure has been converted into terraced gardens and a live replica of a Bihar cowshed has been created to commemorate Laloojee’s famous chaara ghotaala.

A similar section has been carved out – for a nominal fee, visitors can experience a mock auction of themselves at the Lalit Modi Memorial IPLgate!!!!

A section of a floor has also been converted into the replica of Sukhram’s living room where all the telecom loot was found.

Miniature replicas of the CWG athlete’s rooms have been constructed. Special pipe lines have been introduced to show the leakages and how the athletes had to stay there. The souvenir shop sells the famous toilet paper for 1000 INR per roll!!!! They are all personally autographed by Suresh Kalmadi himself!!!!

A training institute is being designed. This is called the ASATYAM FRAUD MANAGEMENT PRACTICE. Plans are to get the best of the breed master minds from different high profile prisons as guest faculty here. The Raju family trust makes this possible. Ex CEOs of Arthur Anderson, Enron, Nick Leeson etc are all showing interest here.

There is an onion garden dedicated to the Pawar family. The onions are for display only- given that they are almost extinct, these cannot be plucked. High security arrangements make that possible.

An outdoor shooting range has been created by carving out a part of a floor – this is the Bofors Block. Here, for a fee, visitors can shoot empty or blank bullets from the Howitzer guns that the now defunct company had sold to the Indian Army. The target has been slightly modified to give a contextual touch – the target bull’s eye has a small tail sliding out from the right hand bottom side to give it a Q shape (in memory of the main accused Quattrochi)

The museum is attracting visitors in hordes of thousands!!!!

The revenues of the museum have increased manifold since it was started.

This has led to another issue – there is widespread corruption in misappropriation of funds by the management who is running this museum!!!!

Now that Adarsh is doing such good business, Jairam Ramesh is contemplating something on similar lines for Lavasa as well!!!!!!
Sriky

Srikant Harihar
00 91 900 43 46 46 3

2G Raises a Political Storm- The Telecom RADIAshuns!!!!!

2010-12-28T06:15:00.007+01:00

Dear Chums,

After a quite break for some weeks which saw unprecedented events unfolding in front of me, it was necessary to present some insider information on the latest scam ..and probably the biggest in the country- the 2G Telecom Scam!!!!

DMK's stoic support of the tainted Telecom minister A Raja just led to a more wholesome belief in the party's acronym (Dont Mess with Karunanidhi!!!!)

The Parliament was stalled for the entire winter session with some minutes of work having been recorded (mostly the time taken to decide to walkout, I guess!!!) The opposition pegs the loss to the exchequer because of the protests to be pittance compared to the scam value.

What a scam it has been!!!! One wholesome epic journey running for years with different parties and ministers and lobbyists and licensees!!!!!

Talking of the lobbyists, Neera Radia has become the toast of the Telecom town nowadays. 3Geers to her!!!!!!

With the opposition unrelenting in its demands for a JPC, with the PM Manmohan Singh unwilling to placate the opposition this time, with Ratan Tata planning to go on a letter-writing spree, with A Raja unwilling to admit to any wrong doing, with Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghvi still socializing with the political top shots, with Neera Radia raids showing no end- it just resulted in the following disastrous (or humorous) results:-

Mamta Banerjee has given up using cell phones till the guilty will be brought to the books.

All BJP ministers have boycotted the Telecom Services offered on the impure 2G spectrum air. By some strange logic- all of them have subscribed to foreign telecom services via Thuraya - the satellite phone services!!!!

Congress is trying to check if it can get a wisp of any scam in procuring of the Thuraya phones and the source of the payments made to this company!!!

Baba Ramdev has condemned the usage of mobile phones and is planning a grand yagnya which will purify the air which was polluted by the scam. Environmentalists peg the damage caused to the environs by the fumes and smoke emanating from the altar much more than the 2G scam.

Mahesh Bhatt and Mukesh Bhatt announced their next-out-of-the-factory product called Aye Raja!!! starring Emraan Hashmi and a new comer Meera Wadia. Mahesh Bhatt announced that this movie would be a slice of life depcition of the scam and Emraan will essay the role of a politician who stumbles from the path of righteousness and ends up with a biggest scam to rock the country. The female lead will essay the role of a corporate lobbyist who woos the minister and influences him to award incoherent licenses. The movie is to be picturised in some scenic locations across the globe and will have some mind boggling special effects. Already a lot of news is being made about an important scene where Emraan refuses a bribe offered to him by a Telecom company. What a special effect!!!!When asked whether the kissathon will continue with this movie, Emraan mentioned," There are some bold scenes in the movie which are pivotal to the script of the film. They have been shot very aesthetically and are intended to take the movie further and to a new level".

Lalooji has come up with another whopper!!!! He has alleged that his cattle stock have been rendered carcinogenic because of the impurity of the airwaves sold at deflated prices to benefit some involved parties. Indian Medical Association is trying to check the veracity of the claim by examining the cattle and NIMHANS is planning to do the same with their owner.

Ratan Tata has developed a hobby out of writing to Government departments regarding other Tata Group issues in anticipation of opening up another Pandora's box akin to Telecom.

A Raja recently got an award from Air India for making the most round trips between Chennai and Delhi. Since the scam surfaced, Raja has travelled endlessly between Chennai and Delhi for CBI investigations etc. If not airwaves, be it airways then, for Raja!!!!

Raja has put a stay order on Aye Raja movie release. He has asked the courts that he be allowed a privy viewing and based on his consent, the movie should be appropriately edited or censored. The Bhatts have vehemently refuted Raja's claim stating that the movie was an "inspired" work of fiction. Raja has also demanded that the movie be dubbed in Tamil for his viewing.

Neera Radia is amongst that last 4 contestants in the season 4 of Bigg Boss which is being anchored by Abhishek Bachchan and Anil Ambani. What an Idea sirjee!!!! She has also bagged some big deals across the Telecom world.

Well, what about the general public and the services offered by the Telecom companies????

It continues to be normal as if nothing happened. Anil Ambani bought back huge proportions of his RCOM stocks during the peak of the scam and is now selling them back happily and laughing away to the banks!!!!

Neera Radia has decided to venture into greener pastures of Telecom Consultancy to foreign governments. Supposedly her initial clients include Afghanistan, Pakistan, Nigeria, Zambia etc.

As for A Raja, he has been nominated to the World Telecom Forum as India's representative created towards having uniform telecom policies for the next generation of services. How, if you may wonder? That is the Congress way of punishment!!!

Sriky

India rEeLing unDer a SCAMpede!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-26T12:40:00.003+01:00

Dear Chums,

The last couple of days went with some bits and pieces of new making it to the orbit of the fourth estate.

The Royalty gets ready for a round of big bash of wedding parties at the cost of the taxpayers money in the UK. Well, royalty is an identity of en era lost and past, though not so in the UK, it seems. The current recession and budget cuts are making the commons wake up to the concern of their taxes being spent on lavish wedding vows!!! I guess, better Kate than never!!!

The CM musical chairs is the game of the season- Ashok Chavan to Prithviraj Chavan to Yeddy to Rossaiah… these kids… when will they ever grow up??

The main focus of my piece this time is the pandemic of all seasons and for all the wrong reasons – Scams rocking the country- left, right and center.
Not that we are waking up to this today- this has been one of the pillars of our society, culture, habits, lifestyle, beliefs and ourselves for decades now!!!

Coming to the recent weeks and months- the Scamgates opening their ugly doors- one by one left everybody shocked and worried. IPL gave way to the Common Wealth Games which made way for Adarsh housing which further stepped aside to the big brother telecom scam which is now being jostled for space by the LIC Housing Scam. Still waiting to unravel themselves – Bollywood box office scam, railway ticket scam, drinking water scam, another stock exchange scam, TV TRP rating scam, Matriculation paper correction scam, Big boss Pamela Anderson scam (this is definitely worth waiting for!!!) and lastly the mother of all scams – Great Indian Election Ticket Scam!!!!

Instead of writing reams about it, let me rhythm it this time…

Harshad, of the trading system, made a mockery,
It’s impact being felt by the national treasury
For the next couple of years,
India sailed without any major fears,

Until Sukhram’s house was raided by the IT,
And out came a basket full of corrupt Telecom booty,
Parekh usurped Harshad’s throne,
Leaving the markets in askance –akin to a dog longing for a bone,
Many a minor scam came and went,
Without making any significant dent,

Then one fine day, Raju drafts an admission,
Leaving Satyam- it s future and meaning in a big question,
Unraveling the myriad transactions will be a big pain,
Leaving the next wave’s coffers in a big drain,

Just when things were seemingly coming to normalcy,
CWG and Kalmadi joined the revelry,
Quote by quote or even quote unquote,
Making the CWG- the biggest booty of notes,

Along the same lines and almost at the same time,
Modi was playing a different game,
Not knowing that his end was near and with that would be a lot of ignominy and shame,
The IPL commissioner is now in abeyance,
Running from pillar to post to make some defense,

Soon this was also being pushed back into the news print interiors,
As ministerial corruption was breaking new frontiers,
ADARSH was anything but… ideal,
The big and mighty vet their hands, having no inkling of the ordeal,
Now that this has come out in the open,
CM of the state included- sparing no one,
Did more fie betide any son in law ever?
Chavan would have cursed, not again- never!!!

As the skeletons were tumbling out from the infamous address in South Mumbai,
With a possibility of more heads rolling,
Came a stark revelation of LIC Housing,
This is grabbing the bytes of the day,
Rest of the scams above, pushed back for another day,

As I plan to click send this work to you all,
A big disaster is in the making the high and mighty fall,
Wikileaks is shaking the world, exposing the US sham,
Resulting in just depreciating respect for Uncle Sam!!!!

And the saga continues forever,
Else will there ever be any food for thought or read- fodder?

Sriky

Barack BARRIcadeS BoMbAY!!!!! The Presidential Trav(ai)els to India !!!!

2010-11-06T08:59:00.003+01:00

Dear Chums

Firstly, many happy tidings for the festive season!!!!!

The city, the country are both abuzz!!! This festive season, there is a bumper bonus in the form of Barack Obama coming to Mumbai. Half of Mumbai has been cordoned off and today… to my horror- my own mom asked me for my identification card before letting me into my house!!! She, it seems, attended a society-held session on ensuring security sanctity in the wake of Obama’s visit!!!!
Mumbai airport has undergone significant renovations to accommodate the mammoth entourage that is going to accompany the Third Most Powerful man in the world!!! (Forbes came up with a list that Hu Jintao- the Mandarin Premier has usurped Obama’s place) but the first position … as usual … has been and will be retained by Rajnikant!!!
This is also one of the reasons why Rajni does not like coming to Mumbai- he being the most powerful man in the world does not get the treatment that the third most powerful man is getting.

All the roads have been cleaned up and spruced up like a bedecked and bejeweled bride. It requires an American to teach us cleanliness!!! Perhaps Lalit Bahnot was completely right about his epic statement on hygiene.

It seems that the US government is spending 900 crore INR per day on the presidential visit. There is a big hue and cry about this huge expense in the wake of monetary circumstances that US is facing.
President would have none of this argument and he is finally landing in Mumbai!!!

The President has some very important tasks to be accomplished during his stay in India and that list of tasks is kept secret.

Some more interesting things that are happening because of the Obama visit!!!
There is a new stall just opposite the Taj hotel selling freshly made Barack Pavs. This is prepared by mincing fresh Talibani meat with some Hanoi sauce!!!
Obalma pain balm is doing the rounds nowadays. This unique pain balm gives you relief from recessionary pains and stress.
Barack barfis are doing the rounds this Diwali. This has a dash of nicotine chewing gum base added to give that presidential flavour.
The biggest selling item this season is Barack bombs. They light up, explode…. BUT without any noise or light and does no damage!!!!

Obama also plans to check out some of the BPO facilities across Mumbai to just understand what this ruckus all about is and whether they are really beneficial for the Americans.

The President wants to meet Rajnikant but in a very secret rendez-vous!!! The reasons –

Obama wants to see the most powerful man in the world.
Rajnikant can create jobs in the US if he can create replicas of himself so easily!!!
Rajnikant actually knows where Osama is hiding!!! This reason takes the cake!!!!
Obama wants to learn to flick cigarettes like Rajni does.
Obama wanted to request Rajni to act in a Hollywood movie which could be financed by the US Congress. All the recession related losses could be wiped out in one stroke!!! Obama also has a name for that one – SAMBOT!!!!

Last heard was – Rajni had not yet given his approval for this audience.

The tickets for the Presidential Dinner Party in honour of the American President are also up for grabs. Kalmadi Associates has been selling these coveted passes in an auction. Needless to say- funds generated from this auction will be ploughed back to eliminate the losses incurred because of CWG.

President Obama has also expressed an interest to visit Antilla – the residence of Mukesh Ambani. This was not approved as this point did not come up in the RIL AGM well in advance and shareholder approvals were not taken.

There were other unimportant points in the Presidential itinerary but they were all too insignificant in nature. Somethings to do with bilateral talks, trade deals, defence contracts etc.

Sriky

sUcH a WrOng JoUrNEy - the SeNa LaUncHes 3G SeRviCes!!!

2010-10-26T15:33:00.002+02:00

Last week was Dussehra – the culmination of the nine days of piety and prayers and marking the victory of the virtuous over the evil. It was celebrated with great pomp and joy all across the nation- especially the Legendary Mysore Dussehra show and the Pooja Pandals in Kolkatta!!!!

Last week also saw the next chapter of Mumbai politics being written. The tiger woke up after a prolonged hibernation. And by Jove!!!! How did he roar!!!!!
Bal Thackeray addressed the Dussehra rally (an annual practice for many decades now) at Shivaji Park and it was here this time that the cub was brought out into the wilderness-filled world outside. Aditya Thackeray is now being groomed to take over the Sena mantle into the next generation.
Making mockery of the High Court orders on the limits on noise levels, he was quite in his element!!!!

He realizes that the next generation of Sena bastion will be on a different kind of a turf. The Sainiks used to swarm or storm different venues or events, now they will have to surf!!!

Dismissing all insinuations of the Sena also embracing dynastic politics – Bal Thackeray clearly appreciated the on field project work that the young Aditya undertook before his formal induction into the family fold (or rather party fold!!!).

The maiden initiative taken up by the young Aditya is still raking in screen time on almost all news channels and also spaces in the print media.
He managed to get the book- Such a Long Journey by Rohington Mistry banned as a reading material for a degree course in the Mumbai University. His claim – the book speaks lowly about the Shiv Sainiks and Maharashtrians in general. I have not read the book so would not want to comment on whether its language was objectionable or not.

The Mumbai University which usually does a Rip Van Winkle act when it comes to changing the syllabi for the courses offered, was superbly over efficient this time with the book being barred from the academic arena in just a matter of a day.

Rajan Welukar, the Vice Chancellor for Mumbai University was very quick to defend his speed-of-light reaction on this matter.

This is what he had to say in this matter," We had exhausted our entire infrastructure budget and we have spent almost 20 crore INR this year in renovating the University building and campus. I did not want to be held responsible for any damage or destruction or defacements that may have occurred because of my non action".
I would completely agree with Mr. Welukar. He took the most correct decision under the scenarios of considerations.
The Yuva Sena leader has accomplished what he ventured into- initiate a big bang entry into political fiefdom with such an elegant panache!!! There were no morchas, no vandalizing, no disruption of traffic, no threats… absolutely no NOTHING. Just sound bytes given to the print media triggered the first success story.

Aditya has clarified that his brand of politics will venture into greener pastures, hitherto unexplored by the Sena in the past. The following are some of the plans to be acted upon in the coming days:-

Abstinence from outright violence and direct intimidation tactics
Disruption of internet traffic by forced closures of Internet Data Centers
Email phishing – all mails having any positive connotation and the word Congress will be modified into Shiv Sena
Hacking of bad, dirty west influenced portals like face book, twitter, orkut etc.
Plan to create a search engine called SHODH which Google will be forced to present on its website. Anything entered there will take you to www.shivsena.com
SMS campaigns to initiate intimidation feelers for smaller causes. No sir – no more violence on the streets!!!! Sophistication is the name of the new game!!!!
Campus recruitment drives to recruit the best brains- Yuva Sena will have to be given the Day Zero placement option in all the IITs and IIMs. Non conformation to this diktat…. Will…..result in point 1 being revoked.
Wikipedia and such reference sites to be in and only in Marathi. Licensed language translator on these sites will be held as a patent by the Yuva Sena’s IPR team.

Long term plans also include coming up with an IPO for Yuva Sena and list it across all the global exchanges around the world.
In the wake of this entire goings on, I happened to chat online with Rohington on what he had to say about all this.
His response baffled me to no end- He was extremely happy about this entire affair. He wished Aditya all the very best in all his future endeavours.

The reason- go into any book store and try to get me a copy of Such a Long Journey and I will accept you are GOD if you find a store where the book has not been sold out!!!!
Yuva Sena has a partnership inked with Rohington on future sales for the next one year!!!

Sriky

naa MANDIR mein naa MASJID mein>> Main to bas......

2010-10-10T21:24:00.004+02:00

Moh ko kahaan dhoondhe re bande,

Main to tere paas re;

naa Mandir mein naa Masjid mein,

naa koi Niwaas mein,

palat palat ke itihaas ke panne-

dhoondh rahe ho ghar mera,

bhoole shaayad baat, yeh tumne,

aatank mein nahin dhera mera!!!

naa main Jap mein naa main Rath mein,

naa hoon main Aazaan mein,

us rote hue bachche mein hoon main,

main to hoon us aawaaz mein;

nahin ilm mujhe apne hi thikaane kaa,

naa hi jaanoon wajah- is anban, is fasaad ke fasaane kaa,

naa baaton hisson mein mujh ko,

hoti hai ghutan is mein,

khuli fizaa ka aadi hoon main,

shaayad baagh, bageecha, school, hospital?

shaayad phir lagta -yehi hai mera mahal!!!!

pragati path pe hoon main,

main to aman vishwaas mein!!!!

Sriky

Nandan's Chronicles- from an INFOSCION to a POLITICION - 4 - the AADHAAR side of the story!!!!

2010-09-30T20:08:00.005+02:00

Hello All
The last couple of months were a kind of a working solitude for me. So much had to be done and that too in so little time.

Well, after the last updates that I gave you about my induction into the Government services- the machinery began to move very quickly and efficiently. A cabin with all the latest gizmos was made available in just 1 week, a team at my beck and call in the next two.

Wow!!!! I texted Murthy once more – "for all the rounds and circles that we used to make around these corridors to get things approved- things have come to a full circle and the Government machinery moves fast now!!!"

Now, to update you all with all the arduous tasks that I had to manage and execute- there were just too many to explain but I will pick up some of the more interesting ones that I was challenged with!!!
Getting the team set up was the most challenging job. There were so many applications from so many ministers’ so many relatives’ so many acquaintances….

I had planned to recruit some top brains from my earlier company but that was turned down by the Government as it would amount to favouring my earlier company. I was given a directive that all recruitments should be under the guidelines and directives of the Government Authorized Department of Human Asset Suppliers (GADHAS).
I set off making a team of best that I was offered. To be honest- I was initially skeptical but that cynicism changed to admiration when I saw the talent that was provided to me!!!!!

2. The next biggest challenge was to know the scope of the work and the number of my potential customers. I was trying to give an identity to x number of people where X itself was unidentified!!!!

3. Even as I just began work – there were widespread criticisms on this project (that it was a white elephant that India could not afford) and the media bytes made the work just as tough. I had to spend so much time in news studios explaining this again and again (somehow I wished if I could have got so much media space when I was in Infosys!!!! It would have been wonderful!!!).

4. Another issue was a court litigation filed by Idea Cellular accusing us of plagiarism. Their point was – giving numbers to people instead of names was an IDEA propagated in their advertisement and that it was a copyright infringement!!! Fortunately, at almost the same time- D Raja was facing the heat and Idea was subtly advised to withdraw the case else be ready for limited spectrum!!!! I was not a part of this but I came to know about this when suddenly the lawsuit was withdrawn!!!

5. Another exciting time was when we had to christen this project. So many names came up from so many quarters!!! ASTITVA was one name that was suggested but we got into a copyright issue with Mahesh Manjrekar who holds the name rights. We tried to buy him out but he came up with a demand that could not have been met by any ministry – he wanted to be given the best actor award for any of his films that would come up in this fiscal!!!! My government colleague and an actor par excellence – Govinda tried to intervene and politely explain that what he did on screen could not, by any standards be considered as acting!!! Mr. Manrekar did not relent so we sought other options finally hitting upon AADHAAR!!!!

AADHAAR is a conjunction of two thoughts

AAM AADMI + AADHA AAHAR culminating into a solution for both into AADHAAR!!!!

6. When the blue print was ready – the politics started trickling in. Each minister wanted his or her constituency to be the first to receive the Unique Identification numbers!!!

The following were the constituencies that came up for the contention:-
Patna – Laloo Prasad (rationale being UIAI should be launched first in Patna where cows and buffaloes have more identity than humans!!!!)

Chennai – K Karunanidhi (the rationale document was written in Tamil with no translation and hence was technically rejected!!)

Baramati – Sharad Pawar (there was an immediate need to know the number of people in Baramati who may have defaulted on Cooperative bank loans held by Mr. Pawar and his family- this would be a windfall information for him)

Amethi – Madamji (In Rome, speak like the Romans!!!!) (rationale being – 3 generations of Gandhi family have won from that place and the place is still in shambles so it would do some good by giving the vast majority of the population there with a number and get some more hype)

I was also asked to pick up one place. I was clueless till somebody came up with the idea of NANDurbar as it went well with my name and that place had just been given electricity a week ago!!!!
I said ok.

There was a lucky draw and to everybody’s surprise!!!!!! My nomination got selected!!!! I thought this was a celestial blessing and a good omen that the project will be truly successful!!!!

NANDURBAR
29th Sept 2010
The moment of truth has arrived!!! It is the delivery day for the first release of my project!!! We all reached there with the CM- Mr. Ashok Chawan.

People by hordes had gathered there (there was a lunch session organized by the local MLA!!!).
There were speeches by Manmohan, Madamji , Ashok and then finally I got a chance!!!!
We all spoke at length on how this number is going to change their lives!!! How they can now be known by numbers for all official purposes!!!!
Manmohan then distributed 10 cards to the locals there and there was a lot of media coverage and lots of applause!!!!

I was on top of the world!!!!!!

We all had lunch after the event!!! I was receiving congratulatory calls and messages all through the day!!!!
We all left happy and satisfied!!!!

I later came to know that some souvenir hungry media personnel actually bought each of these 10 cards for INR 100,000 !!!!!

The purpose of AADHAAR was thus finally achieved!!!! By getting the Unique Identification Number – 10 people rose from Below Poverty Line to lakhpatis!!!!!!

Murthy would be so proud of me today – I have achieved for once- which I never did in my IT career – provide some measureable gains to my end customers and not some bug plagued application which is more debugged and updated than used!!!!!

Sriky

tHe GrEaT InDiAn GrAiN dRaIn!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-11T21:17:00.013+02:00

In the vast fields was where I was born,

endless vast verdant greens all around me,

the toiling of the farmer bearing fruits,

to the grounds as I firmed my roots,

The bright sun nourishing me each with its rays,

the soft breeze to whose tunes - I sway,

the gentle streams of water passing my legs,

as I grow quickly from a seed to a full fledged grain,

eager to be harvested, now that I have braved the rains,

once i am unhusked and shafted with full vigour,

waiting with a bated breath to reincarnate from a grain to the powdery flour

Alas!!! such short lived was my dream this life!!!!

never imagined such sorry would be my plight!!!!

Here am I, stuck in a jute prison along with many millions of inmates,

fighting away rodents and pests, or just simply mourning our fates,

its been more than 3 months now, and we have lived thorugh it and how?

piles and piles of my kith and kin, in complete misery, what is our sin?

officers used to come earlier for a periodic round up and checking,

even that has stopped since some of us have started rotting,

I heard from some of my contacts- there are millions awaiting us all over the land,

Hungry masses on the verge of starvation, for the simple want of a system of public distribution,

we all grains who were fit enough, thought of an escape plan,

to escape this dungeon and be a part of some luncheon,

though feeble that we were, we tried to tumble out by force,

each one of my brethren crying out in pain: hoarse,

to our horror, we realized we were not the only ones to try this gimmick,

millions more were lying all around writhe in pain and shock,

as some masked goons were just spraying some white powder and shoving us with a mop,

I take a deep breath, pause ... and just start rolling away from the masses - cold, dead and damp,

trying my best to escape this concentration camp,

in the hope of surviving for that moment, before I succumb,

from a crush or a mop or the white poision powder being sprayed all around,

to tell my story and about my people- their state of misery unbound,

that sleeping hungry each night is a state of choice,

when some of our well endowed netas .. just rejoice!!!!

Sriky

the BUTT stops here!!! PA(ap)KISTAN's Match Fixing Fixation continues!!!!

2010-09-05T11:30:00.002+02:00

Hi All

The world of Cricket seldom sleeps, or so it seems. If there are just matches being played for the sake of matches being played (did it make any sense?) or whether BJP is demanding a separate ministry and a cabinet berth to be given to Shri. Sharadrao Pawar- something just keeps on happening. Mr. Pawar is seriously considering this option as he is now on a diet and what would he do with quintals and tons of crops that have been as a result of surplus monsoon? Public welfare has never been an agendum priori for him ever. At least, being a Cricket Minister is any day better option.

Only now that I was beginning to come to terms that the ghosts of the IPL have finally left for good and that Lalit Modi is firmly entrenched in London and that legal/criminal proceeding will continue forever- comes the breaking news of the Pakistani players being involved in match fixing.
Just a random thought here – have you noticed that across both India and Pakistan (I am not aware of other nations), most high profile embezzlers or charged with criminal proceedings in India, always find a safe haven in London (Nadeem Saifee … anybody?, Benazir Bhutto..)

There are rumours and more rumours flying left right and center. Also, post the outbreak of this scandal, there has been some immediate changes to the way Cricket is being played.
Let s here the different versions of the news that are breaking out:-
1. The Pakistani players involved in this match fixing are basically the front men for ISI and have acted in accordance with their pre determined instructions. They came to UK with the purpose of money laundering and counterfeiting currency notes. This corroborates with one version of the truth that the currency found in Salman Butt’s room was actually fake pounds. That is the reason why Scotland Yard has now ventured into this arena of investigations. Salman, though categorically has denied this and has mentioned that his CA will be able to provide the information for each cent in the 50K GBP (errata is intended so that he can claim in the court of law that he is uneducated and does not know whether a cent constitutes a pound or a pence!!!!).
2. The second version of the story is that Mohd. Aamir was the owner of the cash recovered. Aamir confirmed that the amount that was found in Salman’s room was actually the signing amount that he had received to act as the lead role in a Malayalam- Hindi bilingual movie. 50K !!!! Coincidentally, when quizzed further about the movie, the following were the details that Aamir divulged –
Name of the Movie - NO BOLLE ADIYAPPA!!!
Name of the Director – Manibag Fullumaal
Aamir’s agent (yes, even in such turmoil- he has a spokesperson!!!) clarified that this movie was not inspired by any Shahid- Rani starrer but the poor chap did not realize that nobody even remembers which flick was he talking about !!! Nobody could get any confirmation on this version as Mr. Manibag Fullumaal was not available to pick up any calls.
3. The third version was even more bizarre – Salman received this money as gratitude from Lalit Modi!!! This happened before Modi was brought to the books by the IPL committee. Modi saw a lot of potential in Salman (not on the grounds but off them!!!!) and this was just Modi’s way of expressing his joy and an aspiration of a future potential for IPL 4.
4. The PCB has completely stood by its players. They are of the opinion that this is an espionage activity initiated to taint Pakistan’s image in front of the world. The spokesperson did not explicitly mention any name but his hints were very subtle – one who is sitting over rotten grain stock talks of the rot in the system!!! It was not confirmed as to who was this comment applicable to. There were hints flying to insinuate everybody from US to the UK government to China to Iraqi leadership that was responsible for the Pakistani players being embroiled in this controversy.

In more recent developments – Obama came up with an official statement that since Cricket is not recognized by USA as an official game – it had nothing to do about it. This has made Sharad Pawar livid with anger. He has taken upon himself to ensure that US does not get its quota of IT professionals this year – till Cricket is an official game in US. No point in missing such a big country with crazier crowds and especially where GAMBLING IS LEGAL. The last heard news was the Shell was going to be the official sponsor for USA Cricket Team.

THERE HAVE BEEN SOME NEW RULES INTRODUCED IN THE WORLD OF CRICKET AFTER THIS FIXING FIASCO –
1. You cannot be playing cricket with a Pakistani passport. You need to be a Representative Of Gaming Underworld Enterprise. . ROGUE is an international body where cricketers can solicit their confirmations on not playing or throwing away their wickets or bowling no balls. The ROGUE will decide on which player the bets are the most lucrative and thereby instruct players to amend their game.
2. ROGUE is managed by veterans of the industry – the prominent members on the board are Lalit Modi, Mohd. Azharuddin, Manoj Prabhakar, Ajay Jadeja and such luminaries of the industry. The foundation has been given an annual grant from the Cronje Trust which ensures that the organizers do not practice what they preach – FIXING !!!!!!
3. Sharad Pawar has been felicitated for creating ROGUE – at least now, the BCCI has full control on how the Pakistani players play. They will either play or throw wickets based on the days CRACKEX (Cricketers Rate And Coke Index). The acronym may be a bit misleading but it originated from the Crack Index (the daily market rate for Cocaine, but slowly grew into the world of Cricket to create CRACKEX). The rates and index numbers are calculated based on Azzu-Cronje calculations.
4. The Scotland Yard will be monitoring each match and if there are no balls beyond a certain YARDstick- they will be deemed to be investigated. The investigations will be made open after 3 months (that’s the best the Scotland Yard has promised as it has to trail the money chain across continents). There has been a small controversy here – the Mumbai Police has also submitted bids to handle such cases. The Mumbai Police has claimed that it will be able to track the bookie even before the fixed over or delivery has been bowled. The ROGUE was almost about to give the tender to the Mumbai Police … but for one small incident – the representative of the Mumbai Police asked for a hafta of 100 million pounds!!!! This demand actually was their nemesis. They lost the contract as Scotland Yard agreed on a per investigation profit sharing agreement.
5. Somebody’s .loss is somebody’s gain. The Scotland Yard will be publishing its report after 3 months and the results of the games played 3 months ago will be reversed and the appropriate points will be adjusted in the next tournament. The credits and debits will be adjusted against the fiscal and results will be updated to suitably award the entity which has won (wow!!! I just need to get out of my job now!!!).

I was just about to end this – when I tuned into some random Pakistani radio channel on the internet. This is what I heard –
Salaam- Huzoor aur Mohtermaa!!!
The results of the match between Rawalpindi Express and Kabul Qawaals that will be played tomorrow are as follows –
Kamzor Imaan will be run out for 10 runs on the 15th bowl.
Aaraam E Haraam will be awarded a leg before in either the 4th or 5 th over.

Let us meet after the break. If you want the next player – Imaan e Bikri to be either run out – please sms on 420420000, if you want him to be caught behind – please sms on 420420001.

(the last few lines completely inspired by the facebook comment posted by my friend and senior and teacher – Rahul Sharma. Sharmaji- apologies for getting inspired.. I hope you don’t file a lawsuit here !!!!)
Sriky

RUP(ee) Tera MASTANA - the Currency CHAGRINS

2010-08-28T22:17:00.012+02:00

Hi All

Over the evening, I happened to be at the Mumbai IIT where there was a felicitation of Mr. D. Uday Kumar by the Calligraphic Society of India. Who Uday? The guy who happened to give a shape and font to something that we hold very close to our hearts and minds and wallets. Yes!!! The person whose design for the symbol for the Indian National Rupee.

Finally, after long deliberations, India has its own form of currency. The others being the Dollar, the Pound, the Euro and the Japanese Yen.

That this was passed unanimously shows one aspect of Indian politics - in matters of money, we are all united. Another case in pertinence was the recent hike demands on their salaries. The demand was so unanimous across all

party lines.

A Rose by any other name smells just as sweet - quoted Shakespeare in Romeo & Juliet.

A Rupee by any other form is just as dear - quoted Sharad Pawar!!!

Laloojee was a bit harried about this new change- his concern? Making all his children learn how to write this and make this as their new goal would be some evenings spent with them!!! He had earlier put a currency note as their goal in life but now that has to be replaced by this new font and format.

Suresh Kalmadi was heard grumbling - if only this had come out earlier, probably he could have used this font as an emblem or symbol for the Common Wealth Games. The objective of both the symbol and the event would be in synch then.

He was heard discussing with Jairam Ramesh (the Minister for Environment and Forests) that he was getting pressure now to keep a common advertisement for both CWG and Tiger campaign!!! Save the Tiger!!!!!

I was chatting up with Uday on what are his plans now that India has a new currency. He came up with a very interesting answer. Some countries have approached him to design currency signs for them as well.

He started recounting what he had in mind for some of the countries who have approached him.

SRI LANKA

Our Southern neighbour, it seems, is trying to follow us very fast. They have almost approved one font and are waiting for a future result for the other.

The one approved is -

The currency will be RA (inspired by their single most famous claim to fame- the demon King Raavan). The currency will be RA 1, RA 2 etc.

This format of their Mani was almost approved but then the movie released and bombed big time. Mani Ratnam's refusal to premiere the movie in Lanka during the IIFA added one more thorn. The Lankan Government is now contemplating a more simplistic version of the font.

This, Uday was inspired by SRK's upcoming movie Ra...One.

PAKISTAN

Yes!!!! Even Pakistan has approached Uday to redesign their existing currency with something more relevant and contextual. The one liner given to Uday by the ISI chief (Yes ISI does this as well!!!) - make it as different from Rupee as possible and most Pakistanis should relate to it.

After a lot of brain storming, Uday came up with this (very different from the Rupee and very contextual!!!) -

The currency is Rife (basically inspired by Rifle and Strife caused by the former)

One Rife will equal to 6 gols.

SOUTH AFRICA

South African Government, after the stupendous FIFA success- has now approached Uday with a proposition - the SAR (South African Rand) has lost its significance. The country is emerging after all its dark years of fighting its own internal demons. The new emerging SA needs a new symbol of currency and glory.

Uday spent some time pondering has has come up with this -

He has named it as Vela (inspired from the cultural symbol Vuvuzela which became a deafening rage (pun intended here) during the FIFA.

AFGHANISTAN

Uday's name and fame is now spreading like wild forest fire. Even a Taliban representative turned up at Uday's place with a request. As Afghanistan will successfully come out of the US control (like it did when USSR had taken control)- the country would be looking for changes. New aspirations, focus on economy and trade etc. For that- a symbol of currency was an apt instrument.
Initially, Uday was a bit perturbed and perplexed. He tried to explain to the Taliban officer that currency is something of a mode of transaction which is used to buy an effort or value of one person by providing effort or value of the buyer (a great, detailed speech by Fransisco D'Anconia at Jim Taggart's wedding reception is given in Ayn Rand's perennial favourite - Atlas Shrugged.It explains the origin and creation of the term Making Money from an Objectivism perspective.). The Taliban rep was insistent so Uday went about working. He came up with this-

The currency has been named as Opia (inspired by Afghanistan's second most significant export to the world- the first one been Terror)

Uday mentioned that these things are keeping him quite busy as he has also started giving value adds like unicoding of these images into Keyboards. He has tied up with keyboard manufacturers to get these symbols into new units.

I came back home impressed and amazed by some of the choices of currencies that we will, in the near future start using in normal parlance!!!!Sriky

Sriky