The New Social Worker Online Blog

Speaking My Truth

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:23:00 +0000

TODAY I FOUND MY VOICE.

As I get ready to retire for the night, I am feeling a bit vulnerable and a lot empowered. For the past couple of months, I have felt pressured and bullied by a system that ought to be encouraging and supporting me.

I had internalized the feelings of anger and disappointment because I didn't feel like it was a battle worth fighting at this stage of the game. What was happening was that I was getting really depressed. I was feeling hopeless.

What I believe today is that if I cannot advocate for myself, I will not be able to do the same for others. I cannot let fear get in the way when situations are unfair and unreasonable.

While it may require courage to stand up for what I believe, the price I will pay for not speaking my truth is much too high.

~Ms. T. J.

Trusting the Process

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:53:00 +0000

JUST WHEN I THINK I AM SITUATED AT MY FIELD PRACTICUM, something changes. I have been in four different "spaces," so far this semester, and I am currently back in the first office where it all began last term.

I believe I'm being offered some huge life lessons about flexibility, and going with the flow, and being a team player. And, I am digging it. There is something about the uncertainty of each day that is, ironically, helping to keep me balanced.

Yeah, I don't get it, either.

I sometimes get caught up in my need for structure. This experience is showing me how strong I can be when it comes to jumping in and doing "the deal," as it is sometimes called in 12-step circles. It basically refers to the act of doing the "next right thing," which means staying clean and sober, as well as choosing the healthiest, kindest, most loving way of being in the world.

I'm not saying that it's always easy. And, I do feel bedraggled at times, and I get befuddled. I am learning stuff really quickly due to the volatility of the agency.

And, it feels good.

I am rolling my sleeves up and helping out. And, I'm not whining or complaining about doing the work.

I feel alive. And, you know, I think the world really needs us to come alive.

~Ms. T. J.

Busting through Writer's Block

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:41:00 +0000

I HAVE BEEN A BIT BLOG-BLOCKED this past week. A kind note from a reader helped to light a fire under my keyboard, so to speak.

I have been very concerned about confidentiality these days. I don't want to take the chance of breaking the NASW Code of Ethics. Although I change the gender, number of people, and even the circumstances of the cases in my posts, I want to be extra mindful of the incredible responsibility I have to my agency and clients.

That said, I became completely blocked as a result of this!

I guess getting my fingertips back on the keys is the only way to begin again, so here goes...

This past week in the field involved lots of meetings and training. I am also working on completing an online training program which will prepare me for the final child welfare test which is required to get a job in the agency after graduation.

This last semester is challenging. It's not the work. I can handle that. It's being so close to the end that I can taste it. It's realizing that I have been incredibly focused for two and a half years and I'm tired. It's recognizing the toll it has taken on my life, my marriage, my friendships, etc. And knowing that, in the end, it will be worth it. It will be one of the best decisions I have ever made.

This blog has been so helpful for me. Posting to it helps me sort things out. It helps take the drama and energy away from experiences that confound me. And if I have helped just one person, it will have been worth every word, sentence, and paragraph about being in graduate school earning a MSW.

~Ms. T. J.

Quote to Begin the Day

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:22:00 +0000

THE TRICK IS learning to maintain an unwavering focus upon your desired end result, your completed dream, the "finish line," without insisting upon, or even contemplating, its means of attainment, no matter how logical, obvious, or tempting it may seem (http://www.tut.com/theclub/).

Happy Monday.
~Ms. T. J.

We Take the Call

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:25:00 +0000

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN READING ANOTHER BLOGGER'S POST and sitting in class this morning, I had a flash of insight. It might sound elementary to seasoned social workers, but for this newbie, it was a bit of a revelation.

You know, sometimes child welfare workers get a bad rap. People say we break up families and take kids away from their parents and/or guardians.

Guess what? We don't.

We take the call.

We take action when someone else (neighbor, family member, school personnel, medical personnel, etc.) makes an allegation.

It's our job to take the call.

To check it out. Investigate. Look at the children, talk to them, and make sure they are not in imminent danger. Then we talk to the parents/guardians. We find out what happened. We talk to other people, too: friends of the family, doctors, school and medical personnel, clergy members, and neighbors.

We try to keep families together. We really do.

And, if a child has been beaten, or starved, or left alone, or sexually abused, or placed in a dangerous situation with others who may harm them, we rush in.

We would never know about it, though, if we hadn't taken the call. Unless, of course, it happened in front of us and we saw it with our own eyes. Only then would we make the call.

So, if you hear people talk about child welfare workers in a negative way, please gently remind them about how it works:

1. First someone allegedly does some type of harm to a child.
2. Then someone picks up the phone and dials our number.
3. And then, we take the call.

~Ms. T. J.

Field Practicum: Week Two

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:20:00 +0000

IT'S WEEK TWO IN THE FIELD, and I am headed in a new direction this semester. Whereas I spent most of the prior 15 weeks in CPS investigation with some intake on the side, this school term finds me in CPS Ongoing.

Today I went on my first home visit with the case manager with whom I will be working. Last semester I worked with a female case manager, and this go-around I will be with a male. This will be a good experience for me, as I have worked primarily with women for the past couple of decades.

In CPS Ongoing, we work with parent(s) who have allegations of abuse and/or neglect reported against them. The reports are either unsubstantiated, or substantiated but not severe enough to warrant immediate removal of their child(ren). If the parent(s) works a case plan in an acceptable manner, and if they are compliant with all other requirements of the agency, they are given a chance to retain custody of their child(ren).

One of the supervisors explained to me that this can be a very dangerous situation for the children, and because we visit the homes for short periods of time, we must be extra vigilant to notice signs that the kids are in danger of abuse and/or neglect.

This shall be a great learning experience for me. I will do my best to be a caring, watchful servant in this latest social work endeavor.

~Ms. T. J.

The Wisdom to Know the Difference

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 04:26:00 +0000

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I READ "THE SERENITY PRAYER." I was baffled by the part that read, "...and the wisdom to know the difference. "

Now, some twenty-odd years later, I can still get befuddled by that prayer.

Let's take this week for example:
I could not change the fact that my car started to leak transmission oil. I could not change the fact that my field instructor was no longer employed at my agency when I returned after winter break.

I needed serenity to accept these things that I could not change.

I also needed courage to change the things I could, which were minimal. By gathering information about the car repair, and talking with a supervisor at my internship, I was able to change the level of my anxiety from high to manageable.

Then, I once again needed serenity after I found out that the auto repair bill would amount to hundreds of dollars.

I needed even more serenity when I learned that I would be moved in my field practice to an area where I did not expect to be placed.

The wisdom to know the difference in these situations? For me, I had to realize that I could not control any part of it. The car had to be fixed. In order to repair the oil leak, the mechanic had to dismantle almost everything under the hood. And, because of this, the labor cost would reflect the amount of work he or she needed to do.

I can not determine where I am placed at my field agency. The good news is that I am excited about the area which is ongoing/family preservation. I will learn a lot about working with families, as well as gain valuable knowledge about field work and documentation.

The wisdom to know the difference (this week) means being a team player, opening my heart, and trusting that there are experts (mechanics and agency staff) who have reasons for doing what they do. The mechanic is fixing my car so I can drive it safely, and the agency is providing the necessary training so that I can become a responsible, knowledgeable social worker.

Simply put: it's all good!

~Ms. T. J.

How You Can Help Haiti

noreply@blogger.com (Karen Zgoda) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:40:00 +0000

Text message services to contribute:

Text “Haiti” to 90999 to send a $10 donation to the Red Cross. This effort has already raised over $800,000.
From Wyclef Jean - Text “Yele” to 501501, which will automatically donate $5 to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund (it will be charged to your cell phone bill), or you can visit Yele.org and click on DONATE
More info from the Urban Legends Reference Pages on the safety and verification of using text messages to donate to Haiti relief efforts

Here are online resources you can use to help those in Haiti and those with loved ones in Haiti:

Despite telephone and cellphone problems, some folks in Haiti are able to use Skype to make free phone calls
State Department - People in US and Canada with information or inquiries about US citizens in Haiti call 888-407-4747
How you can help Haiti (from CNN.com)
Updates from the Boston Haitian Reporter
Twitter Pic Tag Search for "haiti" of the past 1 days sorted by date
Earthquake Haiti Facebook group

Here are some public Twitter lists you can follow or view for updates:

NPR also has a great article titled After The Quake: Finding Ways To Connect Online.

I Don't "Wanna"

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:11:00 +0000

OKAY, I'LL ADMIT IT: I am whining.

I've hit some weird wall. I'm sure it will pass. I just don't "wanna" (imagine the whine, here) study and write papers and read and research. I don't "wanna" get up and go to my internship.

This is new. And it's my last semester!

I talked with a friend of mine who has her doctorate about this recent phenomenon at the outset of my final semester and she shared an amazing story with me. She said that when she was in her final class, she sat down to take the mid-term exam. She got up in the middle of the test and walked out.

She said she called her professor who immediately said, "I am sure you did fine on your exam."

She replied, "No, I didn't. I walked out without completing it."

He said, "That's okay; we can set up another time."

She declared, "No we can't."

She dropped the class and took the rest of the semester off. It was her very last class! She pointed to her head with an imaginary pointer-finger-and-thumb pistol and said that she was in an emotional place where she just couldn't move forward.

Clearly it was the right thing for her to do. She went back the next semester and finished her doctoral degree. She is a well-respected, sought-after psychologist in the city where I live. I count her among the sanest people I know, and I know quite a few.

That conversation really put things in perspective for me. I am not suicidal. In the scheme of life, I am not even very overwhelmed. I just don't "wanna" (imagine the whine, again).

~Ms. T. J.

It's Starting to Feel Real

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:16:00 +0000

IT'S NOT THAT IT DIDN'T FEEL REAL BEFORE, it just feels different this semester. After my first weekend of classes, I am experiencing excitement and fear all rolled into one big emotion. My heart is beating fast in my chest and, at times, it's as if I can actually feel my blood as it courses through my veins.

Part of me thinks it's because our profs are regularly giving us tips and suggestions and even sharing with us us how they will feel when they witness our graduation. One teacher said she will cry when she watches (she also admitted that she cries at all graduations -- even when kindergarten children advance to the first grade).

Our instructors are talking about the importance of networking as they give us information about events, conferences, and gatherings of professional social workers. They are strongly suggesting that we immediately sit for the LMSW right after graduation.

Some moments, it's almost more than I can handle. At other times, I am absolutely ready. Bring it on, I say!

I guess it's part of the educational process for our professors to prepare us for what comes next. Their speeches are mixtures of "atta girl and boy" dialogs tempered with a call for deep reflection.

Exciting. Scary. Real. That's what it's all about today.

~Ms. T. J.

First Day of our Last Semester

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 23:59:00 +0000

TODAY OUR COHORT OF 23 STUDENTS returned to the classroom. We exchanged warm greetings and hugs as we settled in, once again, to the business of getting our MSWs. But this semester is different, for this is the final leg of our graduate school journey.

In Integrative Seminar class, a course that promises to bring all that we've learned into focus as well as help us identify our strengths, our Prof addressed us with a bit of a "reality check" lecture. He assured us that this would be our toughest class and that we would find out if we were made of the stuff that is required to become social workers. He also said that it's a class where the faculty will determine if we have the qualities necessary to make it in this field. Our Prof said the MSW is the toughest degree offered at the university, and it ranks right up there as one of the toughest of all graduate-level degrees.

It was a sobering speech, and it helped me to reassess my goals (once more!) and to reflect upon the hard work that we have all produced during these past semesters.

This has not been a cakewalk. And it shouldn't be. We will be working with others as social workers in schools, hospitals, child welfare agencies, senior centers, military bases, hospice centers, convalescent homes, assisted living facilities and drug and alcohol centers, to name a few. We must be professionals who have earned the right to caregive, help, and intervene with individuals, groups, and families.

What an order! As I looked around at the men and women I have spent the past days, weeks and years with, I felt a sense of solidarity, if you will, with the group (it's also a word that our Prof used). We've laughed, we've cried, we've disagreed with one another, and we have banded together seemingly as one. We have commiserated and cajoled one another.

And it ain't over yet! While I look forward to the day when we will walk on the stage to collect our diplomas, I know I must plant my feet in this moment, because the moment is all I've got.

~Ms. T. J.

Book Club Selection: PUSH by Sapphire

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Grobman) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:28:00 +0000

The third book club selection for THE NEW SOCIAL WORKER's Book Club is the novel PUSH, by Sapphire. This is the book upon which the movie PRECIOUS is based.

I started reading this book, and it is a powerful story. I hope you will read it with me! The book club will be discussing this book in an online chat at http://www.socialworkchat.org on January 31, 2010, at 9 p.m. Eastern Time. Please join us and explore this important book with other social workers. We also would love to hear from social workers who have seen the movie!

Please join our book club group on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=98840583520&ref=ts for more details about the club!

Previous book club selections were The Soloist and Still Alice.

Happy New Year

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:47:00 +0000

I AM TUCKED AWAY IN THE MOUNTAINS of North Carolina with my husband and two other couples as we ring in 2010. We have been walking together, eating together, shopping together, and playing together for a couple of days. As we hugged and kissed and clicked champagne flutes at midnight (mine was filled with apple juice), one of my friends wished me the best in my new career of social work.

It is hard to believe I will graduate in four short months. (I will probably think, say, and write this a lot in the days to come). I need to stay focused on what is in front of me including my four classes and my internship concentration. I plan to stay the course and get everything I can out of the next 15 weeks. As soon as I finish the semester, my goal is to take the LMSW exam.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May all your goals and dreams be realized. I hope you will share your experiences with me in the upcoming days.

~Ms. T. J.

Everybody Needs a Mentor

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:39:00 +0000

SHORTLY BEFORE I BEGAN MY GRADUATE SCHOOL ADVENTURE, I learned that a woman in the community whom I had admired from afar, had gone through the same MSW program. I ran into her at a community theater presentation of "The Vagina Monologues" , and introduced myself. It turned out that she knew my husband.

I asked her if we could have coffee someday to talk about her experience at the university I would soon be attending.

That first coffee break turned into a monthly lunch meeting which has continued to this day. I met her today at noontime to catch her up with my most recent school-related happenings and to hear about her life at the agency where she works. It occurred to me during our meal that I have never blogged about this important person in my life.

For the most part, she had the same profs and classes that I do, so we can communicate about assignments and other related stuff. She has shed really bright light on situations which really helped me when things got stressful. She has sent well-timed texts and left "atta girl" voice mails. And she has had her share of stress and heartbreak during these two years. I've actually worried that I was being too much of an energy vampire, so I prayed that I could be just as giving to her as she is to me. I can only aspire to this, I fear.

I thought it might be helpful to make this suggestion: if you can find a graduate of your BSW or MSW program to act as your mentor, you may want to try it out. This woman has been a God-send to me. She has talked me down and lifted me up. She has helped me to realize what truly matters and what is not worth another thought. She has cheered me and laughed with me and watched me cry.

And the coolest part of all? She probably doesn't even realize the half of what she means to me. Without her, I could have done it. But, with her, it has made all the difference in the world.

~Ms. T. J.

Internet Used to Decrease Loneliness Among Older Adults

noreply@blogger.com (Karen Zgoda) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 05:26:00 +0000

http://www.flickr.com/photos/krcla/ / CC BY-ND 2.0

Interesting research study (article here):

Some of the loneliest people are seniors, experts said. As people reach their 80s and 90s, friends be gin to die, and their social circles shrink. But that could possibly change with the aid of modern technology.

Researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham's Sociology Department are studying the effect of social networking -- the Internet kind -- on residents at as sisted-living facilities throughout the state, with the college students teaching seniors not only how to use networking skills, but in some cases how to turn on the computer...the research aims to discover whether using Internet social networks will decrease loneliness and ultimately help lower the rate of depression among seniors.

Notes While on Winter Break

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:44:00 +0000

I HAVE TO ADMIT that it's tempting to not blog while on break. But it's part of the experience, and since I've agreed to write about "all things graduate school", I would be remiss if I left out the down time.

So, it's weird being off. I find myself creating structure. When I received two electronic syllabi today, it felt sort of good to organize a few things for spring classes. Yep, I ordered two books, collected my texts that we will be using again, and previewed some of the first assignments. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Let's just call it a "school relapse."

What else have I been up to?
* Sleeping in.
* Decorating our home for Christmas.
* Baking sugar cookies, decorating them, and eating them.
* Reading fiction and watching movies.
* Meeting friends for luxuriously long coffee conversations.
* Hanging out with my husband.
* Going to (and hosting) holiday dinners and parties.

My life has been so structured for so long, and this is the first long break I've had where: a.) I am not working, and b.) I am not traveling home to see my family (which has inherent stressors of its own).

I hesitate to admit that I am struggling a little bit with the freedom. Don't get me wrong: I don't want it to end. A professor told us last semester that after graduation we'd have to adjust to our new lifestyles, and I guess this long break is a glimpse into my not-too-distant future (minus a job, of course).

I recently had a surge of joy when I realized I could watch TV or write Christmas letters without niggling thoughts of homework and reading assignments. Now that's a really strange, yet wonderful feeling.

I'm guessing that about the time I settle in to this break, it'll be time to pack the book bag for our final semester (wow; final semester has a delicious ring to it).

For now, I'll do my best to chill out and enjoy this rare recess from school, this holiday gift, called winter break.

~Ms. T. J.

All Over but for the Shouting!

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:58:00 +0000

A WEEK AGO I THOUGHT THIS DAY could not come soon enough. We finished our last class of the semester on Saturday at approximately 1:15 p.m., and several of us went to celebrate at a nearby restaurant. Although most of us were wiped out from working late into the night for a couple of weeks, it felt good to break bread with my classmates.

There is something very comforting about knowing that I am not alone in this process. Yeah, we all have to produce our own work, and we spend a lot of time alone with our books and computers, but it's nice to know that others are walking the walk with me.

At the celebration, we vented and commiserated and laughed, and talked about our accomplishments. It was good to put some closure on one of the toughest semesters we've had. One assignment that held our feet to the fire involved a semester-long research project that involved creating a research tool for a client, and it culminated with the writing of a 15-plus-page research paper, a brief, as well as the creation of a poster, and a presentation of our findings.

Everyone who presented did an amazing job. I was very proud of my classmates, and I felt good about my work, too. In the end, I actually felt like I learned a lot, and I came away with a deeper understanding of single subject research design.

Our other classes were interesting, too. From field instruction to clinical to crisis intervention, we are taking our final steps toward becoming professional social workers. After 15 short weeks beginning in January, we will complete our graduate degrees.

For now, however, I am taking a long-needed break from all of it. I plan to relax, sleep in, watch movies, read fiction, spend time with my husband, dog, and friends. I might do some deep-cleaning of the house if I get motivated. I hope to exercise and hang out. We have a trip to the mountains planned.

I'm sure I'll do a bit of planning for the final semester. But just for today, I plan to take a deep breath, exhale, and do a whole lot of nothing!

~Ms. T. J.

C'mon People Now

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 04:09:00 +0000

SO, I AM SITTING IN STARBUCKS. Reading the additional journal articles we just found out will be on our class exam Saturday morning.

Thankfully, I find them to be remarkably interesting. All about multicultural counseling, and cultural competency, the Appalachian perspective, and the African-American worldview, as well as a book review of African American Grief.

I am highlighting the article print-outs and drinking my grande Christmas blend, the bold java choice for the day. It's unusual that I am able to concentrate amid constant caffeine-induced jib jab, incessant bean-grinding and the frequent firing of the frappuccino machine.

I finish the article by Kathleen Salyers and Martin Ritchie titled, "Multicultural Counseling: An Appalachian Perspective," feeling fascinated (once more) by human behavior and moved by the values and common identity of the Appalachian "insiders" who count family as most important, and who would rather suffer through a hardship than ask for help. I was intrigued by the info on "cognitive outsiders" (or, haters, as we might call them) who tend to marginalize the Appalachians and put them in a box that labels them as "hillbillies and poor, mountain folks." Like they are a one-dimensional people. Then there are the "residential outsiders," (or fence-sitters, as I'd like to call them), who fall somewhere in the middle of insiders and cognitive outsiders.

Fascinating stuff. I really learned something, too, about the importance of my own application of the Multicultural Counseling Competencies (MCC). As a clinician, I'll need to be aware of my own assumptions, values and biases; have awareness of my clients' worldviews; and choose culturally appropriate intervention strategies for my clients. This will mean lifelong research about different cultures to ensure best practices. I am amazed at how psyched I am about this.

As I gather up my things and begin packing my book bag, I hear the song on the player. It's the Youngbloods singing, "Get Together." (Or, someone else doing a great cover of the song.) The lyrics nailed me. I sat back in my comfy chair and took a listen.

"Love is but the song we sing,
And fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry

Know the dove is on the wing
And you need not know why

C'mon people now, Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try and love one another right now

Some will come and some will go
We shall surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last

We are but a moments sunlight
Fading in the grass

C'mon people now, Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try and love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing,
You must understand
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand

Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at your command

C'mon people now, Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try and love one another right now
Right now, Right now!"

It felt like a cosmic nudge. And the message? "Stay the course. You are on the right path. It's all good."

Perfect.

~Ms. T. J.

The Mother of all Research Projects

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:09:00 +0000

UGH!

We have a huge project due on Friday morning. It's a Single Subject Design paper, poster, brief, and presentation for Research II class. Most of my classmates are working on it now and we communicate our "pain" via Facebook and e-mail. It's the last BIG project of the semester, and if we just break it down into pieces we will all be fine -- and get it done.

I am somewhat blocked. Like many in my cohort, I am meeting with my professor to make sure I am on track and headed in the right direction. Today I plan to get the paper finished as far as I can take it. After meeting with the prof tomorrow, I hope to finish up the remainder of it.

Once this project is out of the way, I can concentrate on my last final exam which will be on Saturday morning.

At this time next week, it will all be over. Let me know how you are doing with your finals. I'd love to commiserate, er I mean, communicate, with you!

~Ms. T. J.

"Goosebumps" While Waiting

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:24:00 +0000

TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF FIELD PRACTICUM for this semester. For the better part of the day, it was fairly uneventful. I tidied up the office since I won't return until January, and I called a medical collateral contact. My field instructor gave me my final evaluation, and that was about it.

At about 4:45, I walked down the hall to say good-bye to an employee who has been so helpful and supportive for the last 15 weeks of my practicum. Something (someone) caught my eye as I was standing in her doorway. I turned to see two young children sitting outside a nearby cubicle. One of the kids had her head buried in a book, and the smaller of the two kept glancing in my direction. I asked the worker who they were and what they were doing. When she shrugged her shoulders indicating that she didn't know, I said, "I think I'll say hello."

As it turned out, the two children had arrived at the agency for a visitation with their parents who were supposed to have been there at 3:30 p.m. It was almost 5 p.m. The elder sibling kept her head in her book -- one of a series of "Goosebumps" readers for young people.

"What are you doing?" I inquired, with a smile.

"Waiting for our parents," said the youngest child, who seemed eager to engage.

"Where are they?" I asked.

She shrugged and said something about her Mom being at home and her Dad at the shelter. The older child, whose eyes never left the page, said, "You don't know that." The youngest child proceeded to explain that Dad was in a men's-only facility, so she was pretty sure it was a shelter. They were 7 and 11 -- going on 25 and 27.

My heart was breaking. Here it was, a couple of days before Thanksgiving, and this would be the last chance they might see their parents before the holiday.

"I wish I had some Checkers so you could have played a game while you were waiting," I offered. "I'll have to bring a game to the office...," my words trailed off.

I decided to stay late and keep them company while they waited for a worker to drive them back to the foster home that they shared with several other children. I listened, and learned that the younger sister felt like one of the kids who they lived with wasn't very nice. I praised them for the good behavior they exhibited while they waited an hour and a half for parents who never came.

"How disappointing it must feel," I'd said to the younger girl when she told me the story, and, "I am sorry they didn't come."

The older child never looked up from her "Goosebumps" storybook.

When I left the building, I no longer felt as buoyed by the promise of a month of vacation. I felt sad. And, I felt passionate about returning to the child welfare agency when vacation is over. There is so much work to be done and so many children we need to serve.

~Ms. T. J.

A Birthday Present

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:25:00 +0000

ONE OF MY GOALS IN LIFE was to get my Master's degree by the time I was 50 years old. Well, today is my 50th birthday. I will march in our graduation ceremonies in May.

I was 48 when when I started this journey, and I want to say to anyone who is considering going back to school to get a Bachelor's, Master's or Doctorate: Do it! It's never too late to begin again.

Why didn't I do it sooner? I wasn't ready. I had other priorities in life, and there wasn't room for school. Getting a degree is a huge commitment that takes time and energy. Most of all, you have to want to do it. The desire to attempt, and then achieve it, must be greater than anything else. Because you won't have much time for anything -- or anyone -- else.

I am grateful for my husband. He has pulled more than his share of the weight during this time. He's worked more hours and several jobs. He's supported me while I put school first, and I know that's not been easy.

As I ring in this half-century of life, I am amazed and grateful and surprised and thrilled. I don't feel 50 and most people say I don't look it. But I embrace it because I know that I can do anything, at any age, if I put my mind to it.

~Ms. T. J.

Finishing Fall Field Practicum

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:35:00 +0000

IT'S ALMOST OVER. It's gone pretty quickly, I have to say. What have I learned? So much. I've been on investigations. In homes, at schools, with children, with parents, in nice homes, in not-so-nice neighborhoods. I've felt fired up. And privileged. And nervous. And confident.

I think the coolest days were when I was partnered with a case manager whom I really respected. Her style was real. She cared about her clients. She knew her limitations. She didn't give herself enough credit for her strengths. She was humble.

I was a team player. I did what was asked of me without exception. Well, there was that one day when I knew I was being taken advantage of by a worker who was so far behind that it was ridiculous. So I opted out. I wasn't supposed to be doing that anyway. So I went back to my responsibilities. I stood up for myself. That was a good thing.

I look forward to a break. And, I'm happy to report -- I look forward to returning for the second half of field practicum in January 2010. I wondered if I'd like it. I prayed I would -- since I have the Title IV-E grant and all. Since I will be working there after I graduate. At least until I pay the grant back with my time. Who knows? I may stay longer.

For today, though, I think I'll take it one day at a time. This day is pretty awesome, after all.

~Ms. T. J.

Winding down

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:07:00 +0000

I'M SURE MOST OF YOU are winding down for the fall semester. That's not to say we don't have a lot of work to do before it's all over. But there's something about nearing the end of a semester that brings relief -- no matter how fleeting.

It's hard to believe that after this one, I will only have one more semester to go before graduation. And then again, it can't come too soon! I have to admit that I will miss it when it's over. I won't miss the unforgiving deadlines, or the class lectures that I thought would never end (you know what I am talking about!)

What will I miss? Laughing with my cohort, packing my book bag, sitting among smart people (for the most part), and working really hard on something and being rewarded for it with a great mark.

I guess I should come back to the moment and do the next right thing. It's not over yet!

So, what will you miss when it's all over but for the shouting (and tossing of your graduation cap)?

~Ms. T. J.

Unbelievable; I've got the flu!

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:51:00 +0000

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. Not right now. Not when I've been given the gift of a day off (Veteran's Day) to work on my school projects. I just returned from the pharmacy where I picked up a prescription for Tamiflu, and I have taken the first pill.

I will try to work on my research paper until I can't hold my head up and then I will get in the bed.

I hope you are all well and keeping up with your assignments.

Hang in there; we are almost to the end of the semester.

~Ms. T. J.

Four Weeks to Go: Egads!

tjrutherford333@gmail.com (T. J.) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:22:00 +0000

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE the semester will be over in just four weeks. Let's take a look at what I'll need to finish in that time:

* A "Major Research Paper" and presentation
* A Case Study
* A Group Project: Program Evaluation
* A Single Subject Design Paper and Project
* Two final exams

No problem, right? EGADS.

By going to the CSWE conference, I forfeited a homework weekend. Do I regret it? Heck no. I enjoyed the conference, even though I volunteered more than I did anything else. I left on Sunday morning (to work on aforementioned list) and I found out (too late) that the lion's share of the student-oriented workshops were held on Sunday and Monday.

I am not complaining.

I was able to network with presenters and other students, meet The New Social Worker editor Linda Grobman (yay!), and see the Riverwalk, The Alamo, the Tower of the Americas, and the historic King William area. I also enjoyed delicious Tex Mex, Mariachi bands, and wandered the very walkable streets of San Antonio.

So, how will I do all the work? One step at a time. I will do what has been asked of me -- nothing more, nothing less. Well, okay, maybe a little bit more...

~Ms. T. J.