The News Grind » Your stars

Your stars: Leo

Editor — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 10:01:44 +0000

See a penny pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck. That’s good advice. But if the aforementioned penny is in the fast lane of the M1, or in front of an angry gypsy, it would pay to have second thoughts. Try to whistle on Tuesday.

Your stars: Cancer

Editor — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:34:57 +0000

The crab in you will start to feel left out of things when friends don’t involve you in their plans. Just be patient. There will be a reason. Possibly that they are tired of you and want nothing to do with you in the future. It’s worth considering that you are throughly dislikeable. Lucky 80s policewoman: Lacey.

Your stars: Gemini

Editor — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 08:28:34 +0000

Be prepared for trouble towards the end of the week involving a car tyre, either attached to a car or flying solo. If you don’t have a car you may lose the sole of a shoe at an inopportune moment. Avoid swedes at all cost.

Your stars: Taurus

Editor — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:03:31 +0000

Being a bull has served you well in the past. It’s a fine macho sign. Much better than a Virgo, which is really quite embarrassing. I wouldn’t want to be a fish either, come to think of it. Or some scales. Jesus, who thought of these?

Your stars: Aries

Editor — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 14:31:00 +0000

A woman called Bridget will have an exciting proposition for you this week but, unless your name is Jeff, have nothing to do with it. Your windows have been getting on your nerves for a while so get out there and clean them, you slob. You’re the talk of the street – and not in a good way either.

Your stars: Pisces

Editor — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 09:34:43 +0000

A new love will come on the scene this week, which is bad news for your partner. Never mind, eh? Change is as good as a rest. Don’t be tempted to tell any jokes this week. You’re dreadfully unfunny on the whole.

Lucky sandwich: Egg and cress.

Your stars: Aquarius

Editor — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:09:48 +0000

Work colleagues will be more supportive than usual and you will begin to feel happier about opening up to them about the issues affecting you and your problems. Don’t, though. Knowledge is power and they will jump on the opportunity to use the information in the future.

Your stars: Capricorn

Editor — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:00:41 +0000

You’re an accident waiting to happen so be careful when operating heavy machinery. A travelling salesman will entice you with what he’s got to offer but tread carefully. There’s only so many mops and sponges a person can handle. Lucky dog: chihuahua

Your stars: Sagittarius

Editor — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 09:00:46 +0000

Romance is definitely in the ascendancy this week, Sagittarius my old friend, so grab the bull by whatever you can get your hands on and go for it. Fancy someone in the train on your way to work every day? Introduce yourself and offer some fruit.

Your stars: Scorpio

Editor — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:00:50 +0000

It’s easy to become stale with your job, Scorpio, and the fact that Pluto is having a light snack with Jupiter means that changes are afoot. What about panel-beating? You can listen to a radio and leer at women customers.