The Nik's Rant!

Another one

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:08:00 +0000

Voila andy........

"Oh, deer": Are flamethrowers really necessary?

Nikola Trkulja

Guest Columnist

Print this article

Published: Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Updated: Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The regular deer hunting season in Dutchess County opens this Saturday, Nov. 15, but there’s something a little different about this year.

No, the deer still haven’t figured out the advantages of Kevlar vests, nor have they multiplied to the point where only nuclear hunting can be prescribed to limit the pest problem. And no, Vice President Dick Cheney is not coming back to Dutchess County for another government and tax-sponsored hunt like he did last October. It’s something quite expectedly different. Put simply, there are more guns out there this year than ever before. And hunters and media pundits alike say all the credit is due to President-elect Barack Obama.

A minor media storm followed the Nov. 4 election results. Gun sales have increased dramatically despite the uncertain economy. In fact, The New York Times reported in an article on Nov. 6 that gun sales increased 14 percent in October, compared with last year. This comes after mostly flat line sales throughout the summer and a similarly “weird” 17 percent increase that had occurred only as recently as May.

Both gun sale increases occurred exactly around the times that the President-elect’s campaign surged into the spotlight. His Democratic nomination in June, which had become inevitable in the month prior, and his solid lead in the presidential race throughout October have been used as an explanation for the spike in gun sales by all major and minor publications, including the Associated Press, The New York Times, the Salt Lake Tribune and even The Huffington Post. In fact, in almost every media story on the subject, the link between gun sales and Obama has been the focal point.

In light of such information, one could make the argument that there is no sport on Earth more politically charged than hunting. When a sport’s profitability is directly linked to politics, and in this case to a presidential election, tensions inevitably run a little high. Party politics affect hunting in a way they simply don’t affect other sports. This extends beyond steroid use investigations and federal commissions to investigate the source of college basketball stars’ spending money; hunting is intertwined with politics in an unique way, thanks in large part to the fact that hunters need the government’s permission to purchase the equipment that is necessary to their pastime. Oddly, the federal government has just never felt obliged to oversee tennis racket and baseball bat purchases in the same way that it monitors gun sales; then again, it’s been quite some time since a vice president put his friend in the hospital as a result of a tennis accident.

So the government keeps its eye on the firearms market. But in 2004, a 10-year-old Federal Assault Weapons Ban expired under the George W. Bush administration and a Republican House and Senate. The bill, which banned such hunting essentials as bayonet mounts and grenade launchers, was put on the backburner, and in turn moose hunting with high-powered assault rifles from helicopters by vice presidential candidates, not to name any names, was allowed. The fact that hunters had continued to pursue their sport for all those years without their flash suppressors was, needless to say, nothing short of miraculous.

But now, with a Democratic administration looming, hunting enthusiasts fear that the ban will be reinstated and their hunting and gun ownership privileges will be encroached upon.
Jim Pruett, owner of Jim Pruett’s Guns and Ammo in Northwest Houston, summed it up brilliantly for The New York Times, saying, “[Obama] wants to take our guns from us and create a socialist society policed by his own police force.” In turn, with that fear in mind, mothers like Rachel Smith of Midloathian, Va. have rushed to gun stores to pick up those special 20-gauge shotguns like the one she got for her 10-year-old son Austin.

Yes, that’s right: There is essentially no minimum hunting age. A quick search of the frequently asked questions section of the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation’s Web site brings up the following question and answer exchange (judgments sold separately):

“Q: Can I take my young child (or an unlicensed person) with me while I am deer hunting?

A: Yes, and we highly recommend it! Just make sure the child (or unlicensed person) is not hunting or assisting in any aspect of the hunt (like driving deer). Bring an extra pair of binoculars and plenty of snacks. Have a good time!

Q: Can my son or daughter hunt small game while I hunt deer?

A: Yes, but your son or daughter must have a Junior Hunting license and cannot actively participate in the big game hunt (including driving deer).”

The result of such a policy is that we are now faced with a situation where crazed mothers are running out to get their children guns so that evil Democrats don’t take those blessed things away from them. In other words, the country with more gun lust than any other on the planet is now going into a gun-buying bonanza. Except the majority of new guns being sold aren’t just small air rifles like those that Dick’s Sporting Goods sells for $99 (after rebates, of course), nor are they the slightly bigger and badder versions for $125. No, this new crop of guns features great civilian hunting tools like the Colt AR-15, more famous for its military name, the M-16—the type that is so obviously essential for taking down insurgent deer, or entire battalions of them, for that matter.

Unfortunately, there is a downside for us Dutchess County residents: We can’t go blowing deer heads off with high-powered assault weapons, as, like it or not, they are banned for hunting purposes in New York State. Instead our options are limited to only silly normal rifles to be used in one of six major gun clubs in the area, or on any unsuspecting deer not near a major road or in a residential area.

Come Sunday, as the 750,000 New York hunters begin to stretch their happy little trigger fingers for the upcoming game and warm up to unleash athletic, magazine-loaded hell on the deer, I’ll be in the stands watching and cheering them on. And maybe, just maybe, come next year we can buy up some Tomahawks and a few F-16s and really get the sport going.

The Newest Article

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:14:00 +0000

Here's the newest article I wrote for the school paper. Enjoy.

Local high school sends strong message in support of mediocrity

Nikola Trkulja

Guest Columnist

Published: Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Updated: Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Poughkeepsie City School District has been recently gripped by an ongoing argument over the academic performance of its student athletes, an altogether familiar and commonly repeated argument throughout the country. But now it seems that the Poughkeepsie High School Board of Trustees has sent out an all-too-clear public declaration on its stance on the subject, one that unfortunately may not be acceptable at all.

The debate in the School District started sometime after December 2007 when the Poughkeepsie High School Board of Trustees voted 3 to 1 to pass an athletic eligibility requirement. The new requirement now made it mandatory for any student participating in school athletics to carry at least four subjects, including physical education, and to pass at least two of their classes.

But, as the Poughkeepsie Journal reported this past October, Trustee Randall Johnson, the only opposing voter, viewed the measure as unsatisfactory and inadequate in its academic requirements. Since then he has been requesting that student athletes’ academic performances be fully broken down by race and gender so that the Board can better determine how minority athletes are presently faring in the classroom.

In a district where four-year graduation rates have been quoted as low as 46.6 percent and at a high school where 78.2 percent of students are of minority backgrounds (63.4 percent black, 13.5 percent Hispanic and 1.3 percent Asian), Trustee Johnson’s request seems only reasonable. Comprehensive student athlete academic records, broken down by race and gender, would be a great tool for monitoring the real-time academic progress of the 263 student athletes at Poughkeepsie High School and to ensure corrective action is taken if deemed necessary. After all, collecting and arranging the data would not take long or cost much, and it would be an easy way to ensure that every segment of the student population is on track toward graduation.

Rather than support Johnson’s requests, however, the Board has reacted strongly against them. According to the Poughkeepsie Journal, in defense of the existing situation, Poughkeepsie High School Athletic Director Matt Cameron told the Board in a private meeting in September that approximately 98 percent of the student athletes in the Class of 2008 graduated and that the senior student athlete GPA was 82.2, above the overall class average of 73.9.

To make such an argument, though, is to completely ignore the ongoing situation in the Poughkeepsie City School District. New York State records show that in the 2006-2007 academic year, the graduation to non-completer ratio was 187 to 152 (118 students dropped out and 34 joined high school equivalency preparation programs). What’s worse, these records seem to be fudged: While the state documents recorded 187 graduates in 2007, the Poughkeepsie High School Web site lists 192, and an independent observer Web site reports the number as 172.

In such a statistical mess, how could anyone blindly support the data provided by the Athletic Director without direct evidence? How could anyone trust a Board of Trustees that purposefully quashes requests for the accumulation of that evidence and instead supports its existing system?

Board President Cameron Duncan said to the Poughkeepsie Journal that the athletic eligibility requirements, which he stressed were voluntarily set by the Board, were of a higher standard than the surrounding districts. That fact is to some extent true: Arlington High School, for example, employs an almost identical system, except that at Arlington students placed on academic probation for failing more than two classes cannot participate in practices or games, while at Poughkeepsie High School they can.

But such a fact is nothing but detrimental to Duncan’s argument, because whereas Poughkeepsie High School struggles to keep its students in class and graduating on time, Arlington High School graduates over 90 percent of its students and has an attendance rate of over 93 percent. To call an academic policy for extracurricular activities sufficient, even when it clearly is not, is simply unacceptable.

In further defense of the system, Duncan argued that student athletes performed better than average academically. If that is true, stricter athletic eligibility requirements wouldn’t affect student athletes, so why oppose the change? Furthermore, why also oppose academic data analysis of student athletes if it would only expose such a change as unnecessary?

Whatever the answers to those questions, the fact remains that under the current program, a student failing more than two courses can still participate in practices and games while remaining under academic probation for two weeks. According to the Poughkeepsie High School student handbook, a penalty only comes after a student has failed three or more classes.

How can students possibly be held accountable if they can fail two or more classes and can still participate in athletics? If students are allowed to fail even one course and continue their athletic careers, how are they going to fulfill the requirements necessary for later studies or even just for graduation? Poughkeepsie High School is plagued by the lowest attendance rate in Dutchess County, the highest suspension rates, a very low graduation rate and generally lower than state average test scores. In this environment, how are student athletes expected to make it academically if the administration does not both support and push them?

While the administration argues that the student athletes work harder, have higher average GPAs and graduate at a higher rate than the school’s general population, they also publicly proclaim that they need not do more than just what is enough. By supporting a clearly inadequate athletic eligibility policy, they ensure that their athletes are used to substandard academic expectations for the sake of allowing them to continue being the athletes they are. However, without adequate academic performance, even the most talented can’t continue playing their sports in college, as they can’t meet scholarship eligibility requirements or even NCAA first-year participation requirements.

If Poughkeepsie High School can hold these kids to high standards in sports, then they should do the same in academics. If every member of that administration ensured that they weren’t sending out a message that doing just enough to be eligible for playing sports was, well, enough, they would ensure a much brighter future for the student athletes at their school.

It is hugely important that the administration doesn’t publicly proclaim that it is more than enough for athletes to barely get by academically. Athletics should be pursued hand in hand with academics, because student athletes are not just poster children for programs or schools.

When we as student athletes are unable to guide ourselves or protect ourselves in a world that is neither fair nor easy, we look to our educators and those around us who have been there and have seen what we need to do. The same way students look to coaches for help in a tight game, they need to look to educators for support when it comes to graduating from high school.

But while Poughkeepsie High School’s coaches are telling students to pull out every last sprint, the educators are telling them to take it easy academically and do just enough because they don’t want to really pressure them. The Board is publicly telling students not to unnecessarily overexert themselves academically, and to save everything for the field.

If instead the Board investigated the grades of student athletes, they would at least give them a better chance to succeed. Through investigation, the Board would be checking up on these students, keeping them close and encouraging them to reach higher, just like every one of their coaches surely does in every single practice.

Poughkeepsie High School’s mission statement is “to prepare young people for productive and responsible lives as members of an emerging global community,” and further states that “Staff will demonstrate high expectations for all students by providing a curriculum that ensures high academic performance.”

If they unequivocally stuck to that statement and took every single opportunity to ensure and check that every last student was achieving their full academic potential, the statistics would all finally reflect this dedication and any debate to the contrary would be entirely unnecessary.

DON'T Gimme That Money Bitch!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:17:00 +0000

Ok here's the 'Orlando Sentinel's' headline today:

"Obama campaign cuts off WFTV after interview with Joe Biden"

The story? Well yesterday WFTV-Channel 9 reporter Barbara West decided she would get some exposure for herself and thus began drilling our friend Joe. She started off slow, of course, trying to trap Biden into admiting to some sort of shame over the ongoing ACCORN "scandal," by describing Obama as a ACCORN "benefactor" despite the organizations "blatant attempts to register phoney voters." But when that led nowhere she simply came out with what was really irking her and suggested that Obama was a "Marxist."

Huh?

Yep, that's pretty much what I said too. In a 5 minute interview our little friend West went from ACCORN to Socialism to Marxism to the evil that is Sweden. Now I have already tackled the ACCORN comment, Sweden I'll save up for later, but for now let's take a deep breathe and think through this "Socialism/Marxism" shit here in the middle.

So according to West, and just about every other media pundit who is trying to find a way to excuse his salary anywhere, Obama's recent comment to Joe the non-existent yet still tax-defrauding Plumber about "spreading the wealth" was well.... socialist.

So?

Now I as a child who was born in a socialist country and who grew up in a democratic country whose majority political party and current president are socialist didn't quite get what difference in the world the "socialist" aspect made. But then I sat down and thought through the bullshit and translated it all to "American."

Ohhhhh........

You see whereas in my world a "Socialist" means... eh... a person who believes in a certain political theory, here a "Socialist" is a scumbag piece of shit non-American. So to the uneducated, no pardon me the uninterested, average person, linking anything to "Socialism" is the equivalent of linking it to the pure anti-American evil that was/is the USSR sprinkled with hate, terrorism, crime and taxes (you know every worst fear out there...).

An average everday person will go around everyday complaining about being underpaid, wishing for more money and hoping that somehow they'll manage to do something so that they get paid. BUT come out and state that you wish for them to get the money and that you want to ensure that there isn't just one rich stratum and everybody else below and well.... then you, my friend, are pure Socialist evil.

Hhhhhwhhaat?

I mean I don't want to get into what is the right form of government, etc, but what I do want to ask is why was Obama's comment so evil? What in the world possesses the average person, the one whose wealth is not about to be spread but rather who only stands to gain from such a statement, to turn around and scream that the ideas are evil?

Is it historical bias?

The association of social welfare ideas with Socialism and thus somehow with the USSR and its allies would immediately make the comments Evil. Would that be enough though to explain the populace's reaction to Obama's comment and the negative socialist connotations?

Eh not quite, in my opinion. Sure for the older generation who experienced communism and thereby by association socialism in a certain sense as evil and something to be feared it makes more than enough sense but what about the new generation?

The new generation's views of socialism as evil is to some extent born out of their parents'/grandparents' views and from the media/films/tv etc, but they never were exposed to it directly, and thus never fully understood the fear of it like their predecessors had, so the strength of their distaste cannot be explained that way and hence might come from somewhere else.

Is it racism then?

Do white people fear that spreading the wealth would mean giving it to the generally poorer minorities, something conservatives seriously don't want to do? No that's too cliche, it's too simple, it doesn't quite fit and it doesn't explain an equally antagonistic response from the minorities as well.

Is it then due to the inability of most to accept their economic situation?

In other words do those who are now lower middle class, presumably the majority of people in this country, not realize that noone will take from them? Do they think that there exists such a lower class population that they too would be expected to lose out so that the absolute poorest could succeed? That idea does make sense especially if you think about Marxism and the working class v.s. bourgeoisie ideology it preaches.

But such an argument again assumes knowledge and understanding of Marxism and then a rational analysis that would lead to such a conclusion, in other words a highly unlikely if not impossible phenomenon.

It also negates the fact that Marx's description of the world no longer holds true because there is no such population split between two distinct classes where the poorer are in the majority to the richer. In this world of 3 if not 4 classes we can no longer directly apply that sort of spread the wealth idea.

Now I highly doubt Obama would ever consider such a political agenda or even subscribe to what in reality amounts to a bunch of "impossible bullshit." After all taken to the extreme it would mean that the multi-millionaire Obama would suddenly wish to blow away his money on the impoverished so as to achieve his Marxian ideals. In other words the whole Obama=Marxist comment = absolute bullshit.

That leaves only one other train of thought that I can come up with right now to explain the linkage of Obama's comments to Socialism and hence to Evil: greed.

That's the last thing I can use to explain the negative reaction people had to Obama's comment. They wanted to protect their money, their assets and I guess even their fantasies so much that they refused to even think of any sort of possibility that they might lose some of it. Obama's comments would directly conflict with someone who was obsessed with materialism because it would mean they stood the chance of losing out or even worse they stood less of a chance of achieving some ultra-materialistic status they were striving for.

In a society where everyone dreams of being the richest and all look up to those that are, the dream that is wealth gets confused in the reality that is each person's attempt to achieve it. In other words in your everyday life you do things that you hope will bring you material gains later, e.g. a college education or kissing your boss' ass, so essentially you are living for that future gain. When someone comes along and suggests that you spread the wealth it makes it seem to you like:

a) All your work was for nothing because if others can get cash for free then why the fuck are you at college or why the hell are you grinding away for something less in the future?

and

b) You yourself lost money because that future you that you hope to be, or rather that you that you somehow think you already are, was just told that he or she cannot have that merc, or all that material wealth because it needs to be "spread."

Now obviously that's a stretch too right? Yep I can see that being quite far-fetched but I can't get it in other way. Essentially I want to make "hermeneutic" sense of it, i.e. why did people think of Obama's comment the way they did and where do those opinions stem from?

And now as for Sweden.....

In turn I feel that once I get all that info down, I'll also get Barbara West's hatred for that "socialist state" of Sweden that she seems so bitter about at the end. After all Sweden is ranked 4th in the The Global Competitiveness Report 2008-2009 behind the ultimately competitive USA which is number 1 yet again, and I mean Sweden does have all those evil things like a police force, fire brigade, social healthcare, and only the 15th Highest GDP Purchasing Power Parity Per Capita behind the USA's 8th place.

In fact you know what FUCK spreading the wealth!!!! Keep your money I'll keep looking around for quarters on the ground as you buy up private jets and sip on my mortaged out blood! I don't want that shit if it means the USA falls 7 places in that ranking and becomes an evil shitbag piece of russian oooze oh ooops i meant Socialist!

The Nik

A recent Article

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:45:00 +0000

Ok well it's been a long time and after a whole load of persuasion from 2 of the 3 people that subscribe to this thing, I have decided to start writing again.
Below is a recent article I wrote for my school's little paper which focuses on just some of the hardships that face American basketball players abroad. As a side note, I got the idea of writing the piece after I heard news that Nick Harrington and John Grazioli, both players my college team played against last year, decided to sign professional contracts in Europe.

Athletic Careers Abroad Not A Cakewalk for U.S. Athletes

This summer, while ex-NBA superstar Josh Childress packed his bags,
kissed Atlanta goodbye and started screaming “gia sas!” to all his new
Greek teammates, Nick Harrington, a Southern Vermont College (SVC)
student, signed his first professional contract with the lowest German
professional basketball league, the 2. Regionalliga.

Naturally the media, with the exception of eurobasket.com, did not even
hear about Harrington’s decision. Instead they salivated over the idea
of European teams no longer being owned by Neanderthals, but rather by
newsworthy money-burners like the billionaire Aggleopoulos brothers,
owners of Olympiakos, Childress’ new team.

As over a dozen NBA players, including Childress, accepted ridiculously
large contract offers from European teams, the media began to run
stories on European basketball. Devising new and more interesting
rumors, such as LeBron James’ potential departure for Europe if offered
$50 million a year, they somehow managed to forget the plight of
hundreds of American basketball players like Harrington trying to earn a
living playing the game they love overseas.

Whereas Childress will receive over $7 million for the 2008-09 season,
Harrington, like numerous Division III alumni playing in Germany, will
get around $1,000 a month and paid room and board during the season.

So while Childress can soak up the sun and love everything Greek,
Harrington will probably struggle to keep a spot on a team in the lowest
league in one of the lower-stratum basketball countries in Europe, and
then not even be able to afford the $2,000 plane ride home.

But that is to be expected, right? After all, Childress was an NBA
starter, and Harrington...well, his best accolade is the record for most
rebounds in one game in NCAA Division III history and a brief mention in
Sports Illustrated.

Unfortunately, logic, and even to some extent talent, have very little
to do with it. An American player in Europe, particularly one whose
accolades are not tremendous, is seen as a commodity at best. He fills
one of two or three non-European spots per team, which European owners
like to fill with talented, cheap American university graduates. Many
players end up joining leagues that they know nothing about, signing
with agents or agencies that give them no assurances of protection and
making a multitude of mistakes and bad decisions. Ask yourself how much
you know about the 2. Regionalliga: That’s about how much Harrington
knew, too.

The player’s only security, most of the time, is his résumé, and in the
case of ex-NBA stars, that résumé is so strong that they need not worry.
But for fresh-out-of-college athletes, it is a whole different story.

If you are a Division I graduate, certain doors are opened, depending on
your playing time and the school you went to. Come from a great school
like Duke University or University of North Carolina and the lucrative
contracts in Israel, Spain, Russia and Greece are all up for grabs, as
are long playing careers. A perfect example of this is University of
North Carolina graduate Trajan Langdon, now playing for CSKA Moscow and
earning millions.

Yet come from just a slightly smaller-name school, and this year you
will be plying your trade for less than $2,000 per month in Keravnos
Strovolou in Cyprus’ 9-team A1 league, along with 20 other American
players. Need I even describe what the opportunities are like for
Division III graduates?

Yet say despite all that you find a team, like Harrington did—does that
actually mean anything? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Players at all
levels first need to deal with the financial woes of European teams,
most of which are money-losers and many of which, including Askavayu
Girona, a top tier team in Spain, go bankrupt and can’t pay their players.

Even if the players are paid, they still have no contractual guarantees.
In Europe there is no analogue to the NBA Players Collective Bargaining
Agreement, as each team is allowed to determine its own clauses for
contracts, minimum salaries, and so on. In fact, the International
Basketball Federation (FIBA), the official governing body of
international basketball, stated in its official review of a suggestion
for a “Universal Optimal Players Contract” for all leagues that such a
contract would be unconstitutional to FIBA.

Without any such protection, many players get the boot after less than a
year, or in some cases less than a week. A non-European player has more
pressure and smaller contract securities than his teammates because
leagues see American players as shaky foreign investments, which in turn
means even more pressure to perform.

Where Childress might have some safety, given his name and
marketability, players like Harrington have none. Teams in Europe
regularly cancel players’ contracts if they get injured. Childress’
ex-teammate, Arvydas Macijauskas, a world-class shooting guard, was
dismissed this August after he broke his leg. By dismissing him,
Olympiakos washed its hands of Macijauskas’ wages, and since there is no
rule in Greece’s top league about “buying out” a player’s contract, like
in the NBA, it meant Macijauskas was left with only a small severance
pay. A more minor player might not have even gotten that.

In an even worse debacle, in 2006 Olympiakos cancelled Sofokles “Baby
Shaq” Schortzianides’ contract for a few months, following his inability
to lose a set amount of weight. Smaller teams, which have less media and
legal attention on them, have even worse track records in terms of
contract cancellations, many being known to lie about foreign-born
players in order to fire them because they didn’t live up to
expectations in a couple of games.

So while Childress loves life in Athens, Harrington will already have
started feeling the pressure. Hopefully he won’t buckle and hopefully
he’ll persevere, unlike so many who have tried and failed before him.

Whereas Childress is a marketer’s dream, Harrington is only as good as
SVC and his résumé, and while Childress makes millions, Harrington will
be lucky to get paid at all, let alone make enough to get by this year.
In the meantime, let’s all make sure to ask ourselves if LeBron James
will ever be able to make $50 million a year abroad, as we choose to
ignore the stories and hardships of all those trying to play the game
they love overseas.

The Nik

The Spanish Team Picture Scandal - or How I wanna kick the shit out of the Guardian

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:55:00 +0000

The Story

Prior to the start of the Beijing Olympics, the Spanish Basketball Teams, both men's and women's, posed for official team photos. In these photos they appear grouped together with their respective teams, smiling and gesturing with their hands towards their eyes as if they are pulling them back. It is this action that has caused a serious stir in the British and American media, desperate at times like these to find a story.

Racist what?

The Guardian who first broke the story, or rather drew attention to the whole thing in their piece, "Spain's eye-catching faux pas," made sure to leave a bitter taste in your mouth describing how this is a sensitive time for Spanish sport considering its history of racism. To prove their point they use the "totally randomly picked, relevant and unbiased" examples of the England soccer team being taunted in Barcelona and Luis Hamilton the British F1 driver being verbally abused by fans.
For its part ABC news in its piece entitled, "Spain's 'Slant-Eye' Team Photo Stirs Ire," quotes Sarah Smith of the Organization of Chinese Americans in Washington, D.C. as stating that the photo was, "clearly racist, and not even in a jovial way," before then going on to question the Madrid 2016 bid just so as to stir some controversy for future reference there. Kind of ironic isn't it considering that Chicago also has a bid for the 2016 Olympics ? Hm any connection there you think?

The Hypocrisy

Following the publishing of the articles, basketball and news forums alike have gone crazy with white men everywhere arguing about how wrong this all was. In the meantime noone but the Spanish has said anything that we should actually pause for a second and think about.

Say that someone went out and bought a Mexican sombrero and posed for a picture with it or if someone dressed up like a Spanish bullfighter, would we view that as racist? No right? Because it doesn't talk about someone's physical or racial features, who cares if it insults an entire nation by stereotypically categorizing it.

But wait what if another team had already done exactly that? Enter stage left, Lithuania. Prior to Eurobasket 2007, held in Spain, the Lithuanians thought it would be funny if they posed for a team photo dressed as Spanish Bullfighters.

Yep, the 3 main players on the team posed off as various bullfighters in the complete apparel and noone said a word. Check out the photos here. The only reason I even found out was because the Spanish, and later Lithuanian, commentators directed attention to it, none of the media said anything though. The Guardian did not stand up for the rights of animal activists in Spain, and ABC news did not question Lithuania's chances to host Eurobasket 2009. The whole thing went unnoticed, why?

What's really happening here

The major problem here is that the Spanish team photo was determined to be racist, not by the host nation or those it was posing as being first, but rather by a bunch of European men who sat down and decided that this was racist. The bullfighter episode goes unnoticed not because it is any less "harmful" but because noone can make a story/buck out of insulting another ethnicity if there is no prior history or strife between them.

With the Spanish though, their brutal "racist" attack of all “asians” everywhere, as Susan Smith would have you think, is an entirely different story. Why? Because firstly the Brits/Americans have history on the Spanish. In other words they can always write an article and use the Eto'o or Henry stories (where these men were jeered for the color of their skins by fans at a Barcelona match and the media respectively) to create a biased such that makes it seem like Spain as a country is racist. In turn using that background as leverage they can then say that this is another good example of that point.

It is our nature to then play the association game and go well if this is 1 and this is 3 then that must be 2 right there. We are all now groomed to be that way, and that is absolutely perfect for the media. If a reporter, or even better an editor, can stir strong feelings either for or against a topic, or better on both sides, they’ve done their job, i.e. they've got you interested in a topic, finally, and they can now go on to churn out copy articles, quotes and further issues of that publication as you continue to read up on the "latest developments" in the story.

But wait isn't it just a bit wrong though?

Whether or not the Spanish team photo is racist, I don’t know.

But what I certainly know is that a bunch of white europeans have no basis to be arguing on either side. Unless the Chinese themselves, stand firmly against the photo with real, quality reasons, and not just so as to garner media attention for their organization, queue Susan, then the whole issue is pointless. The only thing we are doing is senselessly lapping up what an editor has thrown out for us due to our extreme need to fulfill some political correctness clause. A PC stance which has gone so far that nowadays making fun of the majority remains accepted publically while equivalent behavior to minorities is desperately frowned upon.

I’m not advocating we start squinting, or beating up on minorities NO! I am a minority myself let's keep that in mind, even though you'd have to check my passport to prove it.

But what I am saying is that if your child/little brother or sister came up to you tonight, did that same gesture with his or her hands and said something that that media would consider appallingly racist, I highly doubt you could hold yourself back from laughing and finding it all just too cute and would instead publically string up the kid and accuse him or her of racism.

But now because these are older men we can’t giggle in that same way anymore as we are much more concerned with displaying a public PC and accepting profile, until that is we get behind closed doors and make fun of our local chinese food vendor's accent.

This ad wasn’t in any particular way malice or cruel, that is beyond obvious and is clear even in the statements of the Spanish players themselves. It is us who have allowed it to be viewed that way instead of making it out into what it really is; a silly, not funny, joke.

The Nik

Brain Farts

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:16:00 +0000

Am I allowed to call the Special Olympic anti-Tropic Thunder protesters retards?

The Nik

Haha!!! Funny rap shit!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:07:00 +0000

The Game - Change of Hearts

No no it's not a song, it is The Game on the dating show Change of Hearts. Yep I think Vida G might have had a point (check below post). Our favorite gangsta rapper comes on to talk about girlfriend problems, watch as our soppy, over-attached gangsta rapper gets rejected *sadface* :( i'd bust a cap shit! westside!

Affion Crockett - Lil Wayne Feat. Jay-z Mr Carter Spoof Video

A brilliant spoof of the Mr Carter song. The original lyrics and general dementedness of Lil Wayne only add to its brilliance. Enjoy.

The Nik

A Couple Tracks

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:52:00 +0000

Madcon - Beggin'

Madcon or Mad Conspiracy are a Afro-Norwegian rap duo, Beggin' is the first hit single from their Norwegian platinum album, "So Dark the Con of Man," released in December 2007. I gotta admit the first time I heard they were Norwegian I definitely did not think they would be this good, but this heavily sampled song is really sweet.

Give it a try!

The Game Feat. Kanye West - Wouldn't Get Far (Dirty Version)

Yep the dirty version *gasps* is the only way to go, the normal MTV one is so heavily bleeped it's completely worthless. Either way this track is so brilliantly Kanye it makes even the Game look worthwhile. On an aside note this track it seems was inspired by a mixtape freestyle that the Game did to insult hip-hop vixen Vida G (im not even trying to spell that last name), and the use of the original vixen Gloria Velez really is a slap in the face if you ask me. On a further aside note, Vida G responded to the it all by saying that the Game couldn't handle rejection and thus did this pathetic little thing... Interesting... Let me see what I can find concerning The Game and rejection... post to follow...

p.s. Why do the backgrounds and Kanye always look the same when he appears in an upbeat video?

p.p.s. Why did Kanye reuse the sample from his beat for Common's single The People?

The Nik

Boredom Buster!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:17:00 +0000

Ok this one is a little weird to say the least, either way it's worth a look and who knows maybe your a little sick too :p

Boredom Buster #8: Lifecasters

So with the Olympics on I've been all over the internet recently trying to get my hands on every single basketball game I can. In my many adventures through all the very legal internet sites, I stumbled upon Justin.tv a Youtube like site, except its channels broadcast live. Searching through it I realized what the main attraction to it was, "Lifecasting." Now many of you have heard about this recently popular phenomenon before but I haven't and I am blown away. At first I thought it was pretty disgusting and weird to say the least, but I quickly realized it's more than just addictive, it's crazy.

The story goes that the activity of filming yourself as you live out your life started in the 1980s, but Justin Kay, the founder of Justin.tv, started a live feed of his life online, in turn christening the whole thing "Lifecasting." Now there are thousands of people doing it, and many do it more for attention and tending to the needs of dick tuggers, but the few real Lifecasters left still cast a mesmerizing spell on anyone who watches them.

People like IJustine, Yuta, Kevin and many others, really just turn the camera on and live their lives while you well.... watch. Sure there's a little chatroom on the side where you can talk to other voyeurs, but that's a whole other entertaining story in itself, but all that you are really doing for however long you can is vicariously living out someone else's life. I guess it's the real world Big Brother meets Ed Tv and it is disturbing. Both because of the interest it garners from those viewing, its addictiveness and just the general oddity of it all.

Either way if your life is currently too boring, maybe try another? Who knows it might even be worthwhile.

Boredom Cure Rating: B+
Reason: The simple uniqueness of it all is just entertaining for some reason. Even just watching them sleep and then looking at the freaks commenting makes you question humans (and yourself!. It's really weird and crazy.
Future Boredom Avoidance Grade: C+/B-
Reason: Keep in mind this is my own opinion here, but I feel that there is only so much people watching (especially while they sleep) that I can do. But then again others do get addicted to it all so who knows.

Link: http://www.Justin.tv
or for Yuta's Real Tokyo Life (the dude most often online): http://www.justin.tv/tokyo_yuta

The Nik

Redemption this! How the media sickens me.

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:41:00 +0000

Beijing '08 Basketball

Today marked the start of the Men’s Olympic Basketball Tournament in Beijing. The 12 teams played 6 games in the first of five preliminary rounds, and after watching 4 of the better ones I can definitely say that this will be the best tournament in a long time. Spain declassed Greece, Lithuania beat out defending Olympic Champions Argentina, and Croatia pretty much built its own gallery for its 3 point shooting exhibiyion, going 12/15 from downtown against Australia. But the main event was of course USA vs. China. Sure the U.S. won by 30, and sure it looked pretty easy, but it was anything but a dominant display.

You see the media would have you believe that crazy athletic displays and brain-boggling dunks are indicative of success and ability. To some extent they are correct, but when your entire game is composed of just that aspect of basketball and in the meantime you are losing the ball to a bunch of second-class Chinese guards, letting the Chinese go 8/12 from the floor including 6 treys, and are unable to hit anything from the 3 point-line (1/11 at one point in the 1^st half) for an entire half, then you are anything but “dominant.”

"Historic" my ass

The USA, labeled as the "Redemption Team" as it hasn't won Gold at the Olympics since 2000, had to play at its true best to beat China down, and it did, but it surely did not leave me with a sore throat from the “oohs” and “aahs.” China at best will put up a fight against Germany for the 4^th spot in Group B, but even that is unlikely. China is not a basketball power, in any sense of the word, but that didn’t sway most of the reporters making it seem like it was quite the opposite. Repeated statements by some of the American media from NBA.com and ESPN about how China was a “medal contender” only served so as to build up the hype around the “historic game,” just one of a number of absurd statements, analyses and comments made by the media.

This “historicism” comes from the title of Pat Fordes post-match report on ESPN.com. Historic in what sense? That it was the most watched game ever? Well sure it was broadcast in two of the top three most populous countries on Earth, what were you expecting? Throw in a bunch of other basketball crazy countries, primetime across all of East Asia, and decent late Sunday afternoon timing in Europe and well like any major event at that time it was going to be watched. Why is that a big deal? This was not a clash of titans, or a David vs. Goliath battle. No, this was a Goliath hitting the punching bag waiting for David to show up type match, and heck it happened to be China’s and the U.S.’s first game, congratulations.

You see logic didn’t stop the media at all, like Fordes said “Between the drips and Freudian slips, the United States and China played a basketball game of historic import and global impact.” Wow, yes and then the world changed as Lebron’s dunks brought peace to Georgia, and the entire world stopped breathless for a Kobe tomahawk. Come on! Are we idiots? Is that how the media perceives its customers? I’m meant to sit around and lap up this crazed, over-hyped and senseless drama with reporters acting as if this game is in a world of its own. And what the World Cup is a passing fad?

Quoting another reporter asking Chris Bosh whether the game was “the mother of all games,” Pat Fordes moves his discussion on, comparing the game not to the “mother” but rather to a display of America telling China “who’s your daddy?” What?! That statement at best describes the senseless lack of intelligence and tact that is needed to feed the masses with a storyline that will make sit there and go “OH YEAH!” just like the 70-something comments to the story say. Of course the USA was the “daddy!” What else was it going to be? It showed up with 12 NBA all-stars, whose combined salaries can match small countries GDPs!!

But you see Fordes was smart, he flipped the story stating, “the country with the best players walloped the country with the most players…” Ah so it was battle of the USA against the power of 1.3 billion right? Poor little, third biggest country in the World, USA had to fight number 1, in a game that the USA invented, created, first professionalized and best covered while having the biggest pool of athletes to choose from due to over 100 years of history of the sport and media exposure of it in every single last hamlet of the country. That’s obviously a fair way to look at it right? Let me see the U.S. take on China at table tennis, who’s going to “wallop” who then Fordes?

The worst part of that story is that when the USA plays smaller countries it fails to use that exact same analysis for them. It becomes an “oops I forgot” scenario as the commentators stick to the issues like how difficult this game is going to be, what a test it is, how good the other team is, etc, etc. The U.S. played Lithuania in an exhibition game earlier this month, and all I heard from the fans and the media was how the U.S. truly beat down a good opponent. Yes, Lithuania is a great team but Lithuania has 3.5 million people! That is a full 100 times less than the population of the USA, did anyone mention that? Nope. That’s the little, itty bitty part we all forgot in all this “dominance” we’re seeing.

Yes the entire USA dominated Queens and say Brooklyn. Yes and I’m being kind there. Can you imagine just the best players from Queens and Brooklyn play against the rest of the best from all of the USA? Can you imagine the storylines that would emerge there? “USA beats a spirited Q&B,” “USA comes out on top, but Q&B puts up a brave fight,” and on and on they would spin that little story about how Q&B had to face huge adversity to play against the mighty USA! But Lithuania, well it got it’s ass handed to it! Oh yeah!

I wonder if that same story is going to be used when Angola has to take on U.S? Or are we just going to see “Team Redemption” effect another “trouncing” against a worthy third-world opponent? You know what I say let’s throw all sense and true analysis out of the window! Let’s call these 20-30 point wins “ruinations,” “destructions,” or “pillages!” I’m going medieval up in here, oh yes sir!

All these games and media descriptions are just travesties and “rapes” of the talent and ability of men that have nowhere near the facilities, abilities, or equal luxuries that the U.S. team affords itself. From practice facilities, to multiple million dollar mansions, to a rented out hotel at the Olympics because the U.S. basketball team is the only team too good to stay at the Olympic village, this entire sham is pathetic. The team is no doubt amazing, but it is nowhere near a “Dream Team.” The Dream Team came and went in 1992, when it defeated, graciously, every team out there by 30-40-50-60 points, stamping down its presence and doing it with true class. These guys, on the other hand, are a bunch of rock stars who we are finding excuses for, “well they were nervous,” “well Lithuania is a real match.”

Nowadays we look at Lebron picking his nails on the sidelines, while his teammates “destroy” China by 30 points. Wow! Way to go boys, you killed a team that suddenly became “good,” according to your media. After 3.5 years of the media describing players as only being worthwhile depending on their NBA careers, acting as if nothing but desert exists outside the hallowed halls of the NBA, now suddenly every team the USA plays against is a “good test.” Yes John Turkey is truly a force, yep Patrick the USA should watch out against China it might be surprise, I hear Canada is on the up and up. COME ON!!! The best basketball players in the world, dominating in a league that calls its champion “World Champion” should not be challenged against teams with one or two role players in that same league. That doesn’t make sense according to the quality analyses that these same reporters already made all season long.

Sure like Pat said this game was historic, but not for the fact that the USA beat China, nor for the fact that so many people watched or that George Bush was there. No this game will remain in my memory for the reports that followed it, and the illogical and plain dumb commentary made by people that should know better especially considering they cater to a select audience that truly and passionately follow the second most popular sport on Earth. It is these same men that will spin any story so it fits some ratings scheme, or some general trend that they must keep with because god forbid any of them went against the grain or actually called out the players for not doing more. I mean after all they were nervous right? I would be too if my teammates were only the best in the world….

The Nik

Boredom Buster!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 10:00:00 +0000

Here's a funny little blog worth checking out, it's especially fun if you wanna learn about the everyday dramas of rappers.

Boredom Buster #7: RapBasement.com

RapBasement.com is one of the better blogs/sites, I have found about well Rap and Hip-Hop culture in general. The site is constantly updated with new songs off mixtapes in particular, new music videos and new interviews in general. It's a great little thing for people genuinely interested in what goes on in that micro-world, but otherwise it's a brilliant laugh for those people who just want to see what Young Buck & 50 Cent are crying about.

Boredom Cure Rating : B
Reason: A pretty large quantity of news and stories to read through, as well as the odd song or video.
Future Boredom Avoidance Grade: B+
Reason: Updated every day with new stories and videos, and keep in mind rapper feuds or court cases are a daily occurrence.

Link: www.rapbasement.com

The Nik

Info

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:44:00 +0000

The blog is messing with me a little, there's a new Russia rant under these posts, just look for it :P

Brain Farts

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:05:00 +0000

Why do so many movies revolve around the events of one day? I mean American History X, Training Day, Pulp Fiction (kinda.... not really...), and the list goes on and on....

Funny vids!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:59:00 +0000

Haha I haven't published any new funny videos in ages so I will remedy the situation pronto! Here's a couple nice YouTube finds.

Van Roble - Jedi Gym

A recent find. Really funny, the premise is quite simply a Jedi Gym. Self-explanatory :P Enjoy.

Chris Tucker - Roaches & Whacko Jacko

An early highlight from Chris Tucker's stand up routine. This was arguably Chris' best recorded show, a quick stint on Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam

Bonus!!!

Chris Rock - Rims

A small clip of Chris Rock's Rims jokes from the Never Scared show. The first joke refers to african-american spending, and the other is the punchline in a drug addiction joke

The Nik

Some Music

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Here's a couple tunes i've been listening to lately.

The Game feat Travis Barker - Dope Boys

There is nothing original about this song, from the title to the lyrics. In fact it is awesomely generic, and The Game is really nothing like what he once was. But the background beat, despite it's overwhelming complexity at first glance, is really good and deserves a couple listens.

A Tribe Called Quest - Electric Relaxation

A classic. If you haven't hear it yet you must. Keep in mind this is not necessarily for hip-hop fans, it's just a great melodic track. Please listen to the lyrics, just a brilliant song.

The Nik

RO-SI-YA! RO! SI! YA!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:53:00 +0000

For starters I apologize for the length of this, and as secondary if I receive enough of a response to this joke rant then I will follow up with a part 2. Enjoy.

I've been in Moscow now for just about 3 weeks, give or take a couple days, and I've seen my fair share let me tell you. This place is unique, in many many ways but before I begin sounding cliché let me just list off some of the many amazing elements of this city:

The smell – or how to stop breathing through the nose in public
Now I don't want to insult Russians as a whole, but oh my sweet jesus what the hell is wrong with the armpits in Moscow! I swear there are dead cats stuffed in the arm pubes of each man here! It smells like children vomiting on dead goats in just about every crowded place. Go into the metro and BAM the stink hits you like a brick to the nuts! Get into a car and SLAP it was there since yesterday waiting with multiple drills to get as far up your nasal ducts as is humanly impossible till your own brain shuts down in a huge puff of Fa body spray!
But here's my main gripe. There are tones of deodorants in stores (more than some places in Serbia can say), there is constant hot water in every house so showers are not an issue, and it's not at all like there is an unbearable heat wave which creates steam in the arm pit region. But NO! The smell persists! It's a disease, it would make a person with hyper-hydrosis feel dry for fuck's sake!
And you know what the worst thing is? When you look at a girl in a small mini-skirt, tight shirt and heels and you just know YOU KNOW that in an hour she will stink like a motherfucker and then nothing NOT one thing will make you not want to make her into "Why so serious's" side-kick smiler!!!
I remember spending an hour in a car once and poking at my own eyeballs, trying to rip them out just so that I wouldn't notice the pain that my nose was enduring!!!!
Shoving – or how to trip up a grandmother
You know I'm used to East European crudeness. I mean anyone who has met me knows I epitomize it in oh so many ways. I am also used to Greek and Cypriot indifference and uncouthness at times. I am even used to the NY short tempers and unhelpfulness. But Moscow is a whole new world! From cops laughing at me because like a Retarded tourist I am Stupid enough to ask for directions in a foreign language! To waiters pointing in the absolute opposite direction of where I want to go for a little laugh! What an idiot I am right?!
But ok, say I can take all of that. I can sit there and be laughed at, or have a bitch in the store look at me like I need to be killed cos OMG I fucking asked her to help me!!! Who the fuck do I think I am?!!! But what I can't take anymore is the pushing and the shoving! This! This my friends is all out war!
Every doorway into any place which allows entrance at all is a mission. I receive my coordinates from HQ, I plan my direct route accordingly, I strap on my protective gear, I get the elbows out and I start pushing and shoving like a motherfucker to get in!
There is this mad rush at every single turn for entry, like if anyone does not go RIGHT NOW they will not reach their desired location EVER! EVER EVER EVER! Panic rushes occur everywhere, from the elevators in malls, to the doors of the bus, to escalators or, the ever favorite, entrances to subway trains. And don't even get me started on the Nuclear war that is McDonald's queues!
Children gnaw at the knees, men bust heads, women drive with their arms, granddads get the headbutt going, but none NOT A FUCKIN ONE of them compares to grandmothers! Those old bitches are crazy! They will use butts, arms, shoulders, legs, heads, knees, feces, armpits, beards, ear wax, anything at their disposal and they will, I repeat they WILL get in/out of there before you!
That is if you are not me! My new sworn enemy is the grandmother! I am here to bring you down you old hags! No don't even give me that nasty look old bitch I am the Commissar I am here to take you down WWF style (or should I say WWE now….) bitch! Yes I have decided I will no longer be second best to the 80 year olds, I now kick below the belt, I grab tits, I piss in the face and do whatever else is necessary to ensure that NOT only do I get in there before all others, including sad and abandoned babies, but I also take the seat in the train from right under the old hag that simply knows she won't bathe in the next week but will judge me for having gel in my hair! You all are going down!!! Muahahaha!
Basketball crowds – or the RO-SI-YA dude
While here I decided (aka bothered my dad like crazy) to get tickets to basketball games as the Serbian national team was coming for a short tour against Russia, Latvia and Ukraine. Sure enough I got me desired tickets and was off to CSKA's stadium. Now for those of you that don't know, CSKA = one of the richest, most successful basketball clubs in Europe, 2008 Euroleague champions. Yep top of the tops. This was the stadium and the foyer…… No comment…..
But ok ok! Now I thought Russia not only famous for CSKA and all their other clubs, but also they had just won Eurobasket 2007, so good team and I had watched a whole Discovery special on their football hooligans, and well considering that even their grandmas had some kick in them, I felt that going to the stadium would be very comparable with Serbia. Uh-huh… Ssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeee….
This was the atmosphere for most of the Serbia vs. Russia game, "……………………………." "…………………." "RO SI YA! RO SI YA!" "………." "……………" "…………;…………………;;."
Essentially what I am saying is there was a shitload of silence, a bunch of 6-foot something dudes sitting doing nothing but waving tiny McDonald's like flags, and some girls giggling. Oh and the Rosiya stuff? That was 1 dude screaming all game long! ALL GAME LONG! FOR 2 DAYS! 1 GUY! I still see him in my dreams! Sitting there decked out in red Russia gear, legs open, one hand on crotch, one fist pumping as he screams the same words OVER AND OVER again. The only breaks that my mind receives are when his wife, sitting in a full GOLD (pardon me sparkling gold) gown, puts something in his mouth, so he eats, reloads, and continues. And goes and goes and goes. I am willing to say Russia lost solely cos of him…..
Communist Hipsters – or how the real 80s lives on
You think you know the 80s? You think that these hipsters running around embody them? WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG! The 80s are more than florescent clothes, shitty hairstyles and cocaine. The 80s are the scourge of Eastern Europe, as all of it as a whole decided some time in 1989 that they should get some China made replica shit and start looking modern. What was the result? Well they spent that cash, got that makeover and will never ever ever again change. NO never!
Walk around Moscow today and witness it. If they aren't super rich, or super poor, then there are neo-modern in their mullets, their weird, pit stained, shove creased and disgusting Hawaiian t-shirts, their white shoes WHITE SHOES (had to repeat it, see picture of Nick for more details), white suits, and many many more things. If you are a hipster and feel like you need a change, or if you feel like your hipster needs an intervention bring them HERE! BRING THEM HERE! OMG!!! Round up every gay fashionista, and everyone who thinks they are part of the fashion police and bring them here! For the love of god bring them here!!!! Please!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make the mullets go away! AWAY!!!

I love Moscow

The Nik

Another Friday, but it felt like a Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:43:00 +0000

Today = Excitement. Oh Yeah excitement! To start with I woke up around mid-day, oh yep cna you feel it building, then i did nothing, uhuh uhuh stick with it, and around 5pm I was told to go to the vanbake. So at 6pm that's exactly what I did! WHAT A DAY! Now breathe breathe calm down, let me talk about it in some more detail now....

Running the Gauntlet

To get to the vanbake from my place you gotta cross Leninski Prospekt (Lenin's Boulevard). Now why would I even mention that fact? Because within itself that single action is probaly one of the most dangerous manouevers anyone can attempt.

For starters there are two possible crossing points. The first is the pedestrian crossing at the traffic lights. Seemingly the sane and correct option right? WRONG! There is a huge timer stuck at either end of the street on the traffic lights. Each timer counts down the time to the next little "Green Man" so that you can walk, and it counts down how much time you have to actually cross that street, 30 seconds. Now 30 seconds you might think is more than enough time to cross any street? Wrong again. It takes me, a 193cm person with my huge ass legs walking at a brisk pace exactly 29seconds to cross the 10lanes of traffic and the little pedestrian island in the middle. Exactly 29seconds. How the hell does a normal person do it? How is a grandparent meant to cross that street? Or a fat person, or a handicapped person, or any human being who doesn't really feel like running at that particular time?

To make it just that much better, the traffic lights even have that little "beep beep" sound for blind people so that they know it's ok for them to cross, yeah right so that 32 seconds in when they suddenly get hit by a 4x4 they can lie on the ground, writhing in pain, wondering WHAT THE FUCK happened now? It's a joke, it's like the fucker that built it was saying "Yeah and we'll totally make them think they can do it and just before that blind fucker gets 3/4 of the way there SPLAT! and our soviet motherland grows stronger!!" and his idea was greeted by many "Da's" and further chugs of vodka.

Anyway moving away from that crossing, let's talk about the other one. The one I like to call "The Crossing of Good Hope" or rather where disillusioned fools go and stand around laughing on the pedestrian island in the middle at their foolish move. My mother actually spent 20mins there once waiting to cross... Ponder on that one now...

Once a visa boy, always a visa boy
So following my crossing adventure, I arrived at the Vanbake. It was then that I realized "How the fucking hell am I meant to order 3 traditional breads without knowing Russian? How dipshit how?" Standing in line I began to plan out a method of action. A practice words in my head "I want-skaya tree bread-ski!" "Bread me want-ichski 3?" You know all the fancy Russian-esque words I could think of went through my head.

Finally when it was my turn to order, just as expected i went COMPLETELY blank. I mean just blank out of my mind, complete with an open mouth and heavy breathing. I looked like a retard on viagra staring at pizza. All i managed to salvage out of the situation was my right hand index finger pointing to the bread while my left hand showed the 3 fingers up and 2 fingers curled.

The woman and man inside looked at me like I had just fallen from Pluto with a huge green helmet, a laser gun and a burning desire to find Daffy Duck. Eventually we came to a mutual understanding and I received my goods. It was shall we say an eye-opening experience, for I finally realized that even amongst people of my own Slavic ethnicity, I still remain that foreign kid with a visa.

The Solitary Palm Tree

On side note, I went to a mall yesterday. On the outside it looked like any large Russian building does, low-cost "concrete-esque". On the inside, pretty much the same deal except it had shops. In fact here's a picture. You see that palm tree there? Yep it was the only palm tree in the building, you wanna know why it's there? Becuase this was a "themed" mall. What was the theme? Rio......................................

The Nik

Boredom Buster!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:27:00 +0000

Everybody knows about lolcatz, well this is where it all started :P

Boredom Buster #6: icanhascheezburger.com

Everyone has seen a lolcat at some point, but "I Can Has Cheez Burger" is pretty much where it all started and where it all continues to this day. The site is simple as hell, effectively all it is is a website where people post their lolcat pics, others rate them and comment on em.... VOILA! That's it, nothing else to it.

For hours of mindless clicking through pics, icanhascheezburger.com is where you wanna go :P

Boredom Cure Rating : B+
Reason: Tonnes of pics to look through, everything's funny, but the site is a bit cluttered.
Future Boredom Avoidance Grade: C+
Reason: Once you've seen most of the pics it all gets old, and clicking again and again definitely gets boring.

Link to site: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

The Nik

Boredom Buster!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:11:00 +0000

Here's another little game along the lines of the Zombie shooter I posted a few days ago.

Boredom Buster #5 : Ownage Burst

Ownage Burst, is a "shoot em up" online flash game. Essentially what that means is you just put in the address in the your browser and click start and then click away popping various guys up. Graphically it isn't anything special, just a simple cartoon base, but in terms of gameplay it is pretty damn good.

Easy and fun, the game delivers that which is most important to us, a way to get rid of "boredom," at least for say half an hour. Yet the game does have its drawbacks in that you need an alright internet connection, you kind move the mouse too fast or else you won't be aiming in the game but on the browser, and you gotta like that sort of game to start with.

Overall though, if you really need something to do I'd certainly suggest it as a worthwhile toy.

Boredom Cure Rating : A-
Reason: Good gameplay, but it only appeals to a select crowd.
Future Boredom Avoidance Grade: B+
Reason: As with all these games it gets a little repetitive the more you play it.

Link to site: http://www.thestylemachine.com/ownage/

The Nik

An argument with Andy :p

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:08:00 +0000

This was originally a reply to Andy's post on his blog http://andymckenzie.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Haha now to demonstrate a typical Nik Andy argument :p altho without the swearing and bitch calling :p

I DISAGREE DAMMIT! and maintain my stance! Why? Well let's start with motivation.

I think you forgot the most major motivation and that is, to even out the score.

Like I stated in my previous arguments with you I believe that the majority of people that vote on IMdb do so because they already like a movie. Thus they search out that movie and take the care and effort to vote for it.

Now judging by the high votes for this movie that would be a fair statement in my opinion. But let's be objective and say I'm not really fully right there. So OK let me switch it up then and say that it's not just that but it is also young people impressed by a movie and really liking it despite its actual credibility. To back that statement up I call you to look at the vote stats that show that of the 115,000 votes some 95,000 were by people under the age of 29.

Now on the other hand there are users like you, obsessed users who wish to make the perfect database that realize that the Dark Knight just can't be the single best movie ever made, and they express that through their 1 vote. Why?

To even out the score, to drop the average of the movie. It has nothing to do with an objective vote, instead it's a vote driven simply so as to lower the average and keep the movie away from the top spot.

Look at the vote stats. 3% of all votes were a 1. While only 2% of all the votes were between ratings 6 and 2 (essentially the ratings associated with a movie which isn't that great.) I.e. the 1 was voted more 1.5 times more than the 6,5,4,3, and 2 were combined.

What I am saying is that if the voting was fair and objective you'd expect to see a more dispersed voting pattern with more balanced voting, not soooo many people would flat out hate the movie, many would just dislike it give it a 4 say or a 6 or even a 7 (cos the 7 only has 2% of all votes still less than 1)...

You see the 1 is being used as an average lowering device by the fanatics wishing to manipulate the system that they themselves love so much....

If the 1 votes were representative of the numbers of people that truly despised this flick, than the average would not be 9.5 but would be lower cos then even more people would vote 5s or 6s cos they empathized with those people that hated it or were insulted by it etc, etc.

As a final proof of my point look at the votes of the IMDB staff and Top 1000 voters, i.e. my supposed fanatics. They average a 7.8 and 8.1 respectively, over 1.5 points lower than the average of the majority of voters, how can that be explained except for the fact that they are the primary source of the 1 votes....

Sorry for the long ass reply :P I know you hate reading my rants :D

The Nik

Making a Hit

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:38:00 +0000

I just stumbled on some YouTube vids, essentially showing how rap songs are made and decided to share. They are both off Jay-Z's "Black Album" and although I don't particularly like him, I still felt it was interesting to see how he made some of the hits on there. So here you go enjoy :P

The Nik

The Park that Thought it Could

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:24:00 +0000

If I look out of my window I can see a small parking lot, and right across from it is a nice 2-part park. One part is a great little kiddies park, complete with a winding path through a mini-forest, slides, swings and everything else any kid would kill for. The other part though is essentially a futsal court and a small improvised basketball court.

About six days ago they started some construction work at the park. Everyday Vladimir and his cronies show up and stare at the task that awaits them for that work day. They then sit down and have something to drink and eat, and then proceed to go and kick one of the fences or gates surrounding the park. After a nice kicking session they manage to bring that section down, and let me tell you they are thoroughly pleased with themselves.

In fact they get so pleased I don't see them for the rest of the day, until about 5pm when yet again they show up and kick down another section with their patented raise leg, move leg forward, awkwardly kick, move. It's a special site.

Like I said it has been six days now. They have yet to kick all the fence and gate down.

Let's just say that I am eagerly looking forward to the next phase of construction.

Efficiency.

The Nik

Couldn't be more full-a Tula

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:38:00 +0000

Wake-ula for Tula

8am, I'm in the midst of a pretty nice snooze and BAM my dad rips the door open and says wake up we're going to Tula. Now imagine my excitement at that news! Imagine my god damn excitement! IMAGINE IT! My god man i swear i shat myself with excitement, just straight chasing up and down the house screaming and farting myself silly it was bananas! F-ing crazy!

After kicking the shit out of me to calm me down my parents took me by the legs and dragged my morning carcass out of the door, down 4 flights of stairs and into the car to begin to the 90-something mile trip to the town of Tula, east of Moscow.

Yeah!!! Can you feel it?!! YEAH!

Let me tell you I felt the entire trip there. I don't mean like I noticed what was around me or where I was, FUCK no i was asleep up there, but rather I mean I felt the trip physically. Yep I dove into every divot in the ground, I hopped with every bump, I felt the suspension's pain I was there! One with the bouncing tires as we went 90mph on the "Shitay!" Russian highway.

I can't describe that site to you, there are no words to fully explain how a car can jump for no apparent reason on the road. I mean these "highways" (if they can be called that considering the roads are smaller than the inner city avenues for christ's sake but then again those avenues are 12 lanes....) are so worn you can actually see grooves in the ground from where the wheels have passed on the road. I mean I'm not drawing a complete enough picture for you here, think train tracks, except these were made by cars? Catch my drift?

Now imagine yet again thousands of cars except all are going at 80-90mph and all have this beautiful urge to weave from lane to lane (except this one Peugot driver on the way back that decided she had had enough with lanes altogether and was just driving in the middle trying to fit between two cars) and in the process are jumping about 3 inches off the ground so cos of the grooves.

To make the situation that much better there are occasional slow downs on the highway. Why you ask? Traffic you think, Hell no! You see the police have Police Stations along the highway... yep you heard me right, like a drive through traffic station from which they pretty much hang out and pull over anyone they feel is not adhering to the sign a couple hundred yards before that said 20mph speed limit in the police station zone.... I swear I saw two of em at one hitting on two fat local village girls as they stood in the shade and laughed at the traffic jam... GRR!

Bang bang Tourist Destination

Oh Yes, so following my little trek, I arrived in the glory which is Tula. Now you may not know some of the beautiful features of the city of Tula, a tourist destination according to local Russian tour guides. There are many beautiful landmarks dotting the city, let's list a few:

Traffic jams around modern traffic lights, newly made in 1978.
Huge blocks of socialist housing, complete with molding concrete and ruined facades.
Masses of public transport built in the 1960s and 1970s make sure to clog every single street in the town.
The weapons musuem number 1.
The weapons musuem number 2.
The weapons factory.
The bigger weapons factory.
Another weapons factory.

And so on and so on. Oh did i forget to mention the fact that Tula was famous for its weapons manufacturing? Ooopsies, well yep that's its touristic claim to fame, making the majority of the weapons for the Russian army during the second world war (an honor that gave it the position of being a Hero city, one of 10 such cities in the USSR, kinda fair when you compare it to St.Petersburg that only needed to have 3million of its population die for the same honor.)

Oh Tula also has it's own fortress (like every town) which has NOTHING there except a church and a weapons muesuem (anyone seeing a pattern here? anyone?). Apart from that there is a shopping street with weapons shops and an Addidas store, Yes i did see one! And there is a huge square, a big soviet govt. building, a huge statue of comrade Lenin and a bunch of skaters fucking around at a skatepark right infront of Lenin's feet :P Oh capitalism you bitch you :P

Yep thats the Tourist-ichki beauties of Tula :P (btw the picture above shows the Tourism office in Tula)

Tolstoy, the Modesty, and the War of the Ring

But have no fear for I did make a trip out that motherfucker yet! Following my awe at the beauty of the place and more pant shitting at the spectacles on offer, we decided a change was in order and so went off to see Leo Tolstoy's house a few miles outside of town.

We arrived there and well we were first greeted by that (notice that the title of the sign, shame you can't see that the house is closed on Wednesday's for cieaning yep i spelled that right according to the general English used in that thing) ----->
Awesome isn't it? But following our slight shock we moved along and went to find the ticket booth, and boy did we find it. A little window stuck in the side of a house (picture below complete with grandma employee :P), where a money eating dwarf lay! I approached said dwarf and began to interrogate her as to the costs involved. Her eyes widened at the prospect of raiding my tourist, foreign wallet and immediately she replied $50 for a guided tour in Russian, $100 for a tour in English, $20 to just walk around on the path and not enter in the house or anywhere else! I understood completely how moving your lips one way would cost half what it would for moving them another way....

What ensued was a great war, many elves died and a hobbit had to destroy a ring in a big climactic finale before my differences with the money eating dwarf were Not resolved. In the end I gave her the finger, inside my head of course, and accepted the Russian tour despite not knowing a fucking Word of the language you money-grubbing BITCH! But we made the most of it and I managed to understand about 70% of the shit she said and I was highly impressed with everything yep yep... Why Tolstoy needed 400 hectares of land, 2 grand pianos in the same room, 3 houses (one which he lost while playing cards so he destroyed and sold off), 3 lakes, 2 gardens, and an entire forest I DONT KNOW, but boy he led a modest, Russian proletariat life... uhuh....

Bang Bang .... Yum!

On a side note, how the fuck is it possible that I, a Serb with no Russian knowledge, can understand Russian and get along, but the tour guide, a Russian, can't understand a fucking word of Serbian? Not one! The bitch looked at me like I was mentally handicapped and just needed a hug, "Ohh poor mini south-slav, you think you speak a language don't you? Don't you good boy? Yes your a good boy!" (side note don't treat mentally handicapped children like dogs... thank you...)

So yep after roaming around Tolstoy's crib, without the MTV crew, and checking out what's poppin in Tula, I decided to return-ski home, but of course not before we bought a cake in the shape of a... yep you guessed it... a pistol....

The Nik

Look-skaya at my shaft-ski!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:37:00 +0000

VanBake

Walking around my neighborhood today I spotted a dark blue Merc parked near my local vanbake (my endearing name for the van that is parked accross the street trying to pretend its a bakery, its quite cute actually not nearly as cute as the vanfruit or the grocevan though). Sitting in the dark dark dark Merc, behind dark dark dark, tinted don't forget the tinted, windows was my dear buddy Sergei, complete with gold rings, gold chain, dark (yep dark again) 80s sunglasses and a hair filled hand sticking out of the window.

My inner gangster knew when he saw one of his own kind, and although Don Nik knew I should introduce the don that is in me to this petty fool, I felt it was better not to look at him anymore and pretend that I didn't notice anything.

So i whistled a merry tune entitled, "Oh shit-ski nyet nyet get-ski me the fuck outta here-skaya!" (that is its russian form of course...) as i slowly walked/half-jogged up the street but that was before I noticed 3 dead cow skin wearing dudes standing around the back of the Merc. Suffice to say I was too intrigued to just simply leave-ski so I voyuered a little longer.

Grunt Grunt Nod Nod

As bad breath was passed around and grunts were followed by nods, the dark coat-wearing ones moved toward the trunk of the car (yes americans i said trunk...). Following its grand opening i noticed a selection of very modern early to mid 1980s blazers and a few of my very favorite short sleeved, multicolored shirts, you know the type you see on the Moscow metro that immediately tells your brain "Yep yep you know whats coming!" and sure enough it happens as you vomit a little inside from the awesomeness of the creased, branded sweat that is on that shirt...

Besides the point, I saw the comradick Soviet clothing and thought, oh these guys are small-time I mean what they slinging cotton around? "Shiiitttt i dids dat wen i was a babies," said the dude next to me, a Japanese tax attorney from Murmansk. But no no no soon I saw what was occurring, the trunk's bottom cover was lifted by the particularly intelligent looking unshaven gentlemen in the dark leather jacket, who we shall call Intellectual-ski, and from below he took out a large shaft.

Rather he took out the large shaft of a huge motherfucking baseball bat, to the approving groans and grunts of his equally unshaven and dark leather jacket wearing compadres, Ivan and Aye-van. Together all three admired the beauty of the soon-to-be skull crusher/debt returner, and seemingly agreed that yes Valery was not going to have a fun friday night.

Having admired this spectacle reminiscent of the finest ballets (Sergei being obviously the Prima Ballerina in this act) I was thoroughly pleased and ready to get the fuck back home before I received the bat as taster ahead of the main course known as "Ass Whoopus till I am no morus..."

The Nik

Boredom Buster!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nik) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:39:00 +0000

Speaking of online games, here's another little gem, but seriously if you haven't been to this site yet... i dunno i just i don't even know what to say to you...

Boredom Buster #4: AddictingGames.com

Oh Yes sir, the mecca of simple, addictive and really fun games on the net, www.addictinggames.com. You'll find everything here from the Helicopter Game, to Bejeweled 2, to Castle Defense, it's all in one place. The site has every genre of internet game from racers to quizzes and back. Add to that a friendly and inviting interface as well as well upkept and regularly updated invetonry and you have what essecially becomes and encyclopedia for video games.

Even though it has lost some of the spark it had in its glory days, some 4 years ago, the site is still more than worthwhile and is a sure bet to cure whatever remanants of boredom you might still have lying around.

Sit back, and MiniPutt away for hours, it's really just that simple :P Oh and did I mention it was absolutely free? Yeah I just did :P Enjoy!!

Boredom Cure Rating : A
Reason: Great selection of games, something for everybody and really easy to navigate through the site.
Future Boredom Avoidance Grade: B+/A-
Reason: It's great but at some point you'll pick your favorite games and stop trying new ones, which will lead to monotony.

Link to site: http://www.addictinggames.com/index.html

The Nik