The (not so) Little Things...

The Breeders: My Husband's Best Parenting Tip

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:00:00 +0000

Speaking of increments of time, my most recent post on The Patch is about how my husband is a genius and came up with a super simple way to keep us sane.

Counting.

No, really. That's it.

Your Friday Awesome: The Longest Shortest Time

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Do you have a baby? Do you know someone who has a baby? Are you about to have a baby? Are you thinking about having a baby? Soon? Ten years from now? Are you now, or may you in the future be around anyone that may have a baby?

Yes? Good. LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST.

I read all the books. All the blogs. I had a few friends that had babies. I was once a baby who was parented by a mother who shared stories about my babyhood. I was not prepared to have a baby.

The first few months are hard. Those first few weeks are very hard. You need to know that everyone else thinks they are hard too, but most importantly you also need to know that those first few weeks and months that feel like they will never end, that you will never stop being required to keep a person alive solely with what is made of your own body, that you will never stop smelling like spit up and spoiled milk, that you will never be able to control your hormones...that will all end. It will end soon. It will end faster than your required quarter of Western Civ. It will end more quickly than a season of American Idol.

It will end.

And the moments that are amazing, that make you laugh, that make you think you might just be totally capable at this, that make you think you could never love any person more (but not so much that you sob every time you think about it) will be much more frequent. The moments that you enjoy your baby will greatly outnumber the moments that are hard, and you will begin to forget the time when they didn't - and that, my friends, is awesome.

The Breeders: Sorry, Kitty. You're Not the Baby Anymore

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:12:00 +0000

Yes, I wrote about my cat. Yes, I referred to my cat as a "big brother."Evidently this is a thing that happens when you are a ~~mommy blogger~~ blogger that happens to have a baby and also a cat.

The Breeders: No Presents for Baby's 1st Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 16:38:00 +0000

Yep, we did not buy our child any gifts this Christmas. We're taking the opportunity to make his first Christmas about more than a butt-load of gifts delivered by a jolly home intruder.

Besides, the kid is six months old. Yesterday, his favorite toy was a dishtowel.

Your Friday Awesome: Everyone Wants Grandbabies

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:31:00 +0000

This is family. This is love. This is pretty much the exact same reaction I got from my mom.

Rick Perry and the rest of the homophobes can suck it.

The Breeders: The Cleavers of the New Millenium

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:04:00 +0000

Who is that second kid? Foreshadowing...

We are in what may be the worst economy since the Great Depression and my husband just quit his job.

He hated it. It was not his “calling” and the benefits sucked. I actually like my job and the benefits are great — not only does the entire family have medical, dental and vision coverage, but I had six months of maternity leave for cryin’ out loud.

We decided it made sense for Adam to quit his job, for one very simple reason — economics. It may sound counterintuitive — to decide to have less income does not seem like a smart economic decision — but daycare is expensive. Very expensive. Almost more expensive than our rent.

On average, a nice daycare will run you about half of one of our monthly salaries. Add in bus fare, lunches, maintaining your work attire, sick days for the inevitable daycare colds, and it didn’t really make sense for Adam to spend forty hours a week away from the kid just so we could afford to have someone else take care of him for forty hours a week.

And while I may be the only one with a dependable salary and benefits, Adam’s talents will also be bringing in some income. More importantly, he gets to spend time with the kid while launching a career he actually likes.

So, now I bring home (the majority of) the bacon and my husband fries it up in a pan. Surprisingly well, I might add. But he also does the laundry, mops the floors, illustrates and paints commission projects, and makes sure the kid is not only in one piece by the end of the day, but is enriched and happy.

I may have gotten the easier end of the deal.

Also posted on Alameda Patch.

The Breeders: Shop Local This Holiday

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:28:00 +0000

I was up at 4 a.m. on Black Friday, but rather than elbowing shoppers away from doorbuster deals, I was trying to convince the kid to go back to sleep ... again.

I've never participated in the Black Friday consumer extravaganza since I'm not really that big on shopping to begin with. Department stores are overwhelming and I have yet to be convinced that the deals are worth digging through the overstock discount stores.

Sure, I do love a good Target run (one-stop shopping!), but if I had the choice I would do all my shopping online. Amazon's free shipping has led to something of an addiction.

But, this year we've decided that we will eschew Target and Amazon and do all of our holiday shopping here in Alameda. We can reduce our carbon footprint by walking to the stores and not having anything shipped. And, we can support the local economy by doing what we already enjoy: walking through our adorable (albeit temporarily treeless) downtown, saying hello to friends and supporting our neighborhood businesses.

Of course, with a husband who is an artist, my love of holiday baking, and one very cute new expense, we'll also be giving a few homemade gifts.

...speaking of that artist husband of mine, if you want to join us in our local economy boost you can do that and support our schools this Saturday at the Alameda Education Foundation's Holiday Fair. Come by the Elks lodge and get really local by supporting your local mommyblogger's family economy and buy paintings and ornaments from her husband. The kid and I will be there between naps.

Also posted at Alameda Patch.

Your Friday Awesome: Adorable Arthur Recreates Movie Scenes

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:00:00 +0000

12 Angry ~~Men~~ Bunnies and Bears

Meet Arthur. He re-enacts scenes from movies. Seriously, how do these moms have the wherewithal to be so darn creative during postpartum hormonal craziness?

The American Beauty one is a little cringe-worthy except that Arthur looks absolutely adorable - and quite like my kid.

The Breeders: Your Mom's on Facebook

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 23:17:00 +0000

The first time I saw someone “poke” another person I was looking over the shoulder of a 19-year-old sophomore I was tutoring. Rather than writing a paper on Machiavelli she was alerting her softball teammate, who was next to her also not writing a paper for English 1A, that Melissa and Ryan were in fact dating — it was official on Facebook.

Instead of chastizing her for being off task, I was appalled (at the ripe old age of 26) that the youth of today were getting real-time updates on each other’s love lives. “Isn’t it weird to find out stuff like that on the internet?” I asked. “Um, no ... old, out of touch, grad student.”

Okay, she didn’t say that last bit ... but, at that point, only college kids were even allowed on Facebook, and I really didn’t need to know about my students’ partying.

I didn’t create an account until Facebook opened to people without a .edu email address, and I had to do so for work — when it became not just a place to keep tabs on your ex, but to promote projects and share news. As it became more popular and my friends joined, I made friends through it, and yes kept tabs on their love lives. But, then I had to figure out how to keep it both useful and appropriate for work and my social life.

And then everyone joined Facebook. Everyone. Not, just your friends, and your ex, and your boss, but your mom. Not only did you need to make sure to hide questionable photos from your boss, but your parents — and you had to hope they didn’t talk about your childhood underwear on the internet where your boss could read it.

My experience was a little different. I actually had to convince my mom to create an account and was only successful because shortly after she joined she wasn’t just mom but grandma. Now I am the “mom on Facebook” - and new moms (and dads) have a whole new online persona to figure out. Namely, how not to end up on STFU Parents.

Among the conversations we had about parenting before the kid was born, my husband and I laid some ground rules for our post-baby social media habits. We agreed that we would never share the contents of his diapers, naked baby butts (though they are ridiculously cute), change our profiles pictures to pictures of only our kid (though we don’t judge if you want to), and we wouldn’t complain about our kids on the internet. Then we wondered how much was too much? How many adorable pictures? How many milestones? How many hilarious quotes? We decided we’d figure it out as we went.

Then the kid was born, and he is adorable, and his milestones are many. The first few weeks were a veritable avalanche of baby photos. Too many? Maybe.

Not all of our friends have babies, but we are suddenly a fertile group and they are multiplying, so I’m sure for some folks it can be a little weird to suddenly see a feed full of rosy cheeked cherubs (and weird little alien old men when they are fresh out of the oven) when just last year it was all pictures of parties and exotic vacations. But, our friends are a creative and generous bunch so half (OK, maybe less than half) of the pictures I’m tagging with the person who designed or picked out the kid’s onesie as a sign of appreciation.

There is also that whole co-worker factor — do they really want to see that many pictures of my kid? Maybe not, but that is a pretty fertile group too, and since those at the top of the organizational ladder put pictures up of their kids I think I’m okay.

In the end, I’ve decided to be selective, but still pretty prolific — why? Because Grandma is on Facebook. What started for college kids and added twenty-somethings, and then coworkers has evolved into a place to for everyone - including Grandma, Great Uncle, second cousins and my first-grade teacher (no really, I tagged her in the picture of the kid cuddled up in the adorable blanket she knitted for him), and they all demand pictures of their darling boy.

Also, Facebook is a place to share who you are. Sure you can sculpt your personal brand, but my online persona isn’t that far off of who I am in real life, and now who I am is a mom — a mom on Facebook. I figure if people don’t want to see that many pictures of the kid they can unsubscribe from my feed or just follow me on Twitter — though you’ll still get links to my mommy blog.

Also posted on Alameda Patch.

The Breeders: Back to Work

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:11:00 +0000

So much for my stay-at-home mama status. I'm now making frenemies with my breast pump.

The Breeders: The Honeymoon Is Over

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:00:00 +0000

My town decided to clear cut our main street as part of "revitalization." We (me and pretty much everyone else in town) are pissed. I tried to be a grown up about pointing out what a dumb decision it was.

The Breeders: Yard Sales Make Babies Cheaper

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:07:00 +0000

Yard sale booty.

I had completely forgotten that yard sale shopping for baby stuff isn't new to me. I spent the entire summer between my junior and senior year of high school driving around with my english teacher who had decided to open up a kids consignment shop after she had her baby.

I never imagined skills like knowing how to identify formula verses poop stains would come in so handy.

The Breeders: Where the Moms and Dads Are

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:29:00 +0000

This weeks post is my second list of local places to meet new moms, dads and your kids potential first friends.

When I was pregnant the idea of a "mommy group" struck me as a bit 1950's but it is nice to be able to whip your boob out amongst the ladies. However, even though it is 2011 I've only been able to find one "daddy group" and it highlights places you hang out with your kid and can drink beer. Yeah...

The Breeders: Date Night

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:26:00 +0000

We had out first night out since the kid was born. Yes, The Breeders went and saw Erasure, no irony there...

It was electropop awesomeness.

The Breeders: Mama Got a New 'Do

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 23:10:00 +0000

My new post on Patch is about my first real solo outing that I managed to have just shy of the kid's four month birthday. Better late than never, I guess.

Who knew that getting a haircut and going to Target were going to be a milestone? But they were. Since I was separated from him I actually had to refer to him by name multiple times, which not only gave me a much need sense of autonomy but also gave him his own.

On a less dramatic note, I've also realized I need to remember to take pictures to pair with my posts before the sun goes down, rather than using my Hipstamatic app to make bad lighting look like something I planned for.

The Breeders: Breastfeeding Must Haves

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:10:00 +0000

I have a new post up on Patch. I have a lot to say about breastfeeding (much, much more so it will have to wait for another post...eventually) but this is more of a tips list.

Seriously, to the two friends who gave me Lansinoh and my showers - I love you more than you know, ladies.

The Breeders: I'm So Totally Bored, Mom!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:51:00 +0000

At three months he is suddenly a little person who thinks nap time is so totally boring.

I'm a Bad Mommy Blogger

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 23:35:00 +0000

Hi again. So much for doing a bunch of writing on maternity leave...I've been a little busy.

But, I have been writing! One post a week. If I start in on Sunday I manage to turn it in by my self-induced Wednesday deadline. I joined the hordes of local bloggers on my local Patch. I even gave it a cute (and traffic generating) name.

My most recent post is about how I have no idea how mommy blogging is a thing considering how little time I have to feed myself, let alone write. You can see all of my posts, including the one about how I left the house covered in baby pee, here.

Introductions

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 00:22:00 +0000

So, yeah I haven't been opening my computer much lately. Facebooking from my iPhone? That I've become a pro at because Nana ~~demands~~ needs daily pictures of that little guy. Yep, he's been here for nearly six weeks - six weeks!!! Its amazing and exhausting and I am now totally cool with being covered with poop and spitup on a regular basis. More soon.

Posts, more posts...not poop or spit up.

Your Friday Awesome: Hurry Up and Wait

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 13 May 2011 21:17:00 +0000

That was the view from me on Tuesday. You'll note that my toes are nowhere in sight. What you don't see is my swollen feet and sausage fingers that almost made me drop my phone while I took it. On Tuesday, I was 37 weeks pregnant and still at work. Today, I am still 37 weeks pregnant, but on my couch archiving all of my email and making sure (one last time) that my fabulous coworkers have what they need to take care of things while I'm on maternity leave...which means that come this Monday, I do not have to haul my 38 week pregnant butt through downtown San Francisco - and that, my friends, is awesome.

#musicmonday: Book of Mormon...THE MUSICAL!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Mon, 09 May 2011 17:25:00 +0000

Thanks to NPR you can stream the entire "Book of Mormon" original cast recording. Needless to say, when it comes to the Bay Area I am totally taking my raised-Mormon husband and cringe through the whole thing.

Your Friday Awesome: Don't Be a D!ck About It

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 06 May 2011 17:55:00 +0000

While I think this should be embedded before most comment threads, there are a number of people in real life I may start singing this to.

I'm Two!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 17:17:00 +0000

As of today this blog is two years-old. Its changed a lot since I started. Namely, its gotten less long-winded and more "look at this neat thing!" I'm okay with that. To put it bluntly, this last year has been a little busy and pretty exhausting. Rather than writing blog posts my body created a person - A PERSON. It was weird and tiring and kind of awesome.

Its neat though to have a record of stuff I've been thinking about for two years. I'm sure the next year will have completely different kinds of posts. In the meantime check out how angsty I was when I started. I have a feeling this next year will get back to some of that.

Your Friday Awesome: HATS!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 16:41:00 +0000

"Beatrice! It’s like fallopian tubes meet Mickey Mouse ears." - Jill, Feministe

Seriously, I could kind of give a crap about the royal wedding, though I'm glad this time around it seems we have less "young, naive girl becoming a princess" and a bit more "worldly, educated woman becoming a princess" who actually seemed to enjoy herself a bit.

Either way, the hats did not disappoint.

Your Friday Awesome: 10 Year-Old's Rant on Gender Stereotypes

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:00:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I got to hang out with a friend's 10 year-old daughter. She was pretty awesome. We discussed how growing pains suck and the finer points of popular culture (Tiger Beat still exists!). Turns out she is not alone.

10 year-old Eliza in Indiana was inspired to write an "editorial" to the boys of the world after reading answers to the question, "What's the biggest difference between boys and girls?" in a Mini Boden catalogue.

Some highlights:

Dear Boys from around the World,

There is just one ting I have to say before I go on. STOP BEING SO STEREOTYPICAL!

...Like I said I HATE pink. I despise it. HACK See I spat on it. That's how much I hate pink.

...For one thing though I do like nail polish, but not just Boys like soccer. For example my friend Heidi is a master soccer player. You mess with her, she kicks you in the shins, or maybe just trips you on the field. Seriously I think you should stay away. For reals.

I'm with 'ya, Eliza. I also hated pink, purple and dresses. You can read the whole thing here.