The Offside Rules

Beware The Soccer Bear!

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:56:00 +0000

This is an image that both Seattle lover and haters might want to right click and save; you really could use this for both good and evil.

About Katy Perry's Lingerie

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:29:00 +0000

I'm not sure who has better placement here: Russell "Rusty" Brand or West Ham.

MLS Playoffs 2009: SuperClasico Round 2

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:10:00 +0000

Dear JP Dellacamera,

It is impossible to wear a red shirt with a black suit and not look like a vampire.

All the best
SF

Video: The ESPN Playoff Week 2 Playoff Preview

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:33:00 +0000

His Ginger Majesty, Stoner and J Fo preview this weekend's MLS playoff matches from the ESPN mothership in Bristol, CT. Now that Columbus has been knocked off it really seems likes it's anyone's game and anything can happen at this point. I for one have already had to rip up my bracket and we haven't even reached the Conference Finals yet...so something tells me the next two weeks are going to be very interesting.

Video: RSL Have A Walkabout at Crew Stadium

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:42:00 +0000

Real Salt Lake are in Ohio and attempting to maintain the upper hand on Columbus when they get it poppin' at Crew Stadium tonight (ESPN2, 8pm EST). The Nordecke will be out in force, Kyle Beckerman's dread will be sweaty and I will be watching. So will God I imagine (not just because the bumper stickers tell you so but because baseball is finally over). Will you?

If You Can't Win 'Em, Buy 'Em: A Post That Is Surprisingly Not About Corruption In Sport

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:28:00 +0000

Some pretty damned lucky Fire fans recently got their grubby little hands on the shirts right off of the players backs (with autographs even). But we can't all be so lucky so you what they say: if you can't win 'em, bid on 'em.

Lethal Bizzle, Rio Ferdinand, A Barber and a Bottle of Cristal

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:42:00 +0000

Y'all mess with Lethal Bizzle? He's kinda nice in that Dizzee Rascal/Akala/Wiley U.K. Hip Hop-Grime way. If you have the inclination check out the video for his re-rub of The Clash's cover of Eddie Grant's "Police on my Back". And if you have the time see what he has to say about how he met footie star/film producer/publisher/cornrow enthusiast Rio Ferdinand.

Video: Green Zone Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:29:00 +0000

Matt Damon getting stalked by the government again FTW!

Extra Time: Episode 37 Act 1

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:25:00 +0000

Who won the Extra Time guest reporter contest? All will be revealed in this week's show. Spoiler alert: it's not this guy.

The Save of the Year Mixtape

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:59:00 +0000

Goal of the Year gets all of the hype, but we can't forget about what's going on at the other end of the field. Check out the year in big stops and cat-like reflexes.

The Metro/Red Bulls Giants Stadium Best-Of Mixtape

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:55:00 +0000

For as bad a stadium as The Swamp could be, Giants Stadium was the backdrop for a few of the most outlandish goals you'll ever see. Mathis' marathon goal against Dallas, Woly's infamous upper 90 banger, and Youri Djorkaeff and Juan Pablo Angel's zero-angle game-winners were all set in that soccer purgatory in East Rutherford. Relive those and a few more memories in the clip above. And once that's done erase that place in your mind forever and never, ever, ever go back there again because the next time you see the New York franchise hit the field it will be this one.

Rod Dyachenko: You Remember Him Right?

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:20:00 +0000

He's not in a grave, but someplace worse: MISL.

Video: Kicking It With Brian Ching

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:56:00 +0000

Chingy --no, not this guy-- rates his mates and hands out his awards for this season. Little known fact about Brian Ching: he's from Hawaii.

Your "Signs of the Footie New Media Apocalypse" Update

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:00:00 +0000

If you follow this blog with any regularity you know that unlike most soccer blogs, English people who are not under the employ of the LA Galaxy are a sighting as rare as goals by goalies. But when someone like Sunderland's Darren Bent decides get custom boots branded with his Twitter handle and Twitter logo it's kind of special. Not as special as Jozy's life-in-a-Northern-town Twitvid, but special nonetheless.

I could go on a tangent about how every time a new technology or digital medium makes a real impact it gets co-opted for all manner of foolishness but I'll refrain in this case; dude is kind of on fire right now with 8 goals in 11 games so his feet are probably getting crazy airtime via highlights and those slow-motion close-up replays that they show during the broadcasts so this makes loads more sense than most things you've see out there.

But where does it go from here? I'll tell you where. By First Kick 2010 dudes are going to start wearing those Bill Lambeer-style face masks with their Facebook address on them. Yes my friends the end is truly nigh.

MLS Final Kick: Playoff Leg 1 Edition

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:28:00 +0000

Rejoice fanatics, rejoice! I thought ESPN might forget about us once the postseason came about but I guessed wrong. Which is a good thing because that means that we get more of the most attractive MLS highlights package around. I still think this would be amazing on ESPN2HD, you know on actual TV, but I guess we'll all just have to be patient little soccer-monks for a while longer before we get that kind of clout. A man can dream though...

TMZ Has No Love For Alan Gordon

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:30:00 +0000

According to TMZ, "David Beckham didn't grab the mechanical bull by the horns -- but dude definitely appreciated the busty, jiggling ladies who did last night at the Saddle Ranch." What, no love for Alan Gordon? The only thing featured more prominently in this clip than his mug is the bull's ass. And he was the co-star of The Beckham Experiment for Christ sakes!

If awards where given out for Best Supporting Character in a Non-Fiction Book, Gordo would have won that sh*t in a rout this year. And you know what? He could even cry like Halle Barry during his acceptance speech and I wouldn't be mad at him. But it all means nothing if the paps won't acknowledge you. That's alright though; if TMZ won't believe in your celebrity Alan I will.

Soehn Long And Goodnight

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:08:00 +0000

According to Behind The Badge, D.C. United coach Tom Soehn "has removed his name from consideration for the club's head coaching position". The short-shorts enthusiast joins TFC's Chris Cummins as the first occupants of the 2009 off-season coaching carousel; perhaps if they sit close enough together they can share some reading materials amongst one another.

The "SF's Got The Cold Weather Blues" Rant

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:28:00 +0000

It is the end of autumn/edge of winter here in NYC. It is damp. It is cold. It sucks. I want to be somewhere sunny, somewhere foreign. Somewhere where people are outside reenacting the better portions of FIFA Street with Edgar Davids along for the ride. Someplace where the Italian's know Italian words that aren't swears or food. Somewhere where it isn't the off-season. I want a vacation!

With LA Becks Is Looking for Title Troika

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:46:00 +0000

The Beardy Boy Wonder talks to Marvelous Martin Rogers about taking a title with a third team. It's part one of a three part series over at Yahoo! Sports. Part 2 is here and part 3 is here; get 'em while it's hot i.e. before the next match when this all becomes completely dated.

Video: Goal of the Year Mixtape

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:34:00 +0000

The nominees are all in and compiled for the AT&T Goal of the Year. Who's your pick?

Chivas USA v. LA: The Premium Recap

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:45:00 +0000

A bit of pure, uncut, straight playoff dopeness from Chivas USA. I love this clip: a superb mix of behind-the-scenes footage, highlights, press-conference and locker room quotes it's kind of the total package. I have two words for the guys in LALAland who put this together: more please.

Back in The Day: What a Tangled Web We Wove

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:25:00 +0000

One of my favorite MLS promos popped up out of the blue on Vimeo today. The funny thing is that with the way he played early in the season this could have been produced in 2009 instead of 1999.

Jimmy Conrad: Hood

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:06:00 +0000

Insert your own, dated Unibomber joke here.

Chicago & New England Are the Playoff Hatfields & McCoys

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:25:00 +0000

The Fire and the Revs have met in the playoffs 8 times. 8 TIMES! It's getting way too predictable, like Lakers v. Celtics in the Reagan-era NBA Finals. A handful of Chicago players and coach Denis Hamlet took a minute to talk about the most consistent post-season pairing since the Buffalo Bills and "choking". Watch it...or I'll talk about your Momma.

Viva Futbol #42

noreply@blogger.com (SF) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:30:00 +0000

Alarazboy dropped a new mixtape and it's hot like fire...ring de' alarm!