Every so often I like to pause the slow creaking machinery of this publication in order to answer certain burning hypothetical questions which, at least theoretically, could be troubling the minds of readers everywhere.

Here we go…

Yes, I’m still alive.

No, I haven’t been writing here very often.

Yes, I still love you.

No, you can’t move in.

Yes , I’m still busy fixing this site, promoting the Mind Over Memphis videos, and doing all the things I whined about here.

No, I didn’t run out of ideas.

Yes, time and energy are in short supply lately.

42¹

Yes, the Hot Comma Momma is still hot.

No, I will not issue a comment on those awkward burns.

Yes, Little Miss Ominous and her new husband are doing well.

No, I don’t have a counter-point to that statement.

Yes, it’s been a crazy busy year.

No, it’s not over yet.

Happy Monday

In which the bane of my existence, Doctor Harold Toboggans, attempts to cure Kevin Gaiman of Nightshade Manor from the horrible “curse” of donating food to the Mid-South Food Bank.

See it for yourself at:

Mind Over Memphis – Nightshade Manor

Those of you who have reading the Comma for any length of time will probably be aware of my reoccurring struggles with purpose and humor, and how I’ve never really been content to just make people laugh but instead have looked for ways to also inspire and teach and challenge the status quo.

It has taken a while, but with my new Mind Over Memphis project, I think I might finally be on the right track.

In this new video series, I have found a way to highlight social entrepreneurs, not people with start-ups, but rather people who are upstarts, individuals who look around at the people and the problems of the city and say, “What a minute, I see something I can do to help.”

And then do it.

People who penetrate the Someone Else’s Problem field and become someone else’s solution.

The beauty of it is that I believe all of us can be people like that, we often just lack inspiration.

This is where Doctor Toboggans comes in.

In his backwards, fumbling, painfully arrogant way, he illustrates that none of us really need a certificate or a title or a “mandate” to re-imagine our world, just an idea and the determination to see it through.

My DangerCouch partner Dan Baker has joined me on this project and, as always, is keeping production values in line with his high standards and unique vision.

We have started small, just a trailer and three pilot episodes featuring people that I know and trust me and are willing to help me prove the concept.

Once these first episodes air, I am hoping that more and more interesting characters, programs and charities will want to get on board and be interviewed as well, to share their vision and help spread the inspiration.

What I really, desperately need are two things: promotion and suggestions.

First, I need people to talk this up.  To blog about it, tweet about it, facebook-icate about it. (O.K. I made that word up, but do it anyway.) To Digg it, Stumble it, and email it to your grandma. Just get the word out.

If you want to talk about it, great. If you want to repost it, better. If you want to host it (cough cough Live From Memphis ) wonderful.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The Trailer

Second, I need suggestions, victims, and volunteers. People with a sense of humor preferably, who are engaged in doing good for the people of Memphis.

Talk them into it and please contact me.

Our schedule so far is:

Trailer  – released on Oct 7
Episode 1 – featuring Kevin Gaiman of Nightshade Manor – Oct 14
Episode 2 – featuring Ken Steorts of Visible School – Oct 28
Episode 3 – featuring Guy Cobb of the Tennessee Superlabs – Nov 11
Episode 4 – is up for grabs…

What I want to do here is huge, it’s way bigger than what I can pull off by myself, so I have no problem asking anyone with any sort of social connection for help.

Here it comes: “Help!”

This thing, I hope, is just getting started. I look for every aspect of it to get better and better as we go along.

Thank you for your time and your support.

-Brent Diggs

See all the episode as they occur on drtoboggans.com and on youtube.

Friends, the moment we’ve all dreaded and feared has come upon us at last. Therapist, egotist, and professional fashion victim Doctor Harold Toboggans has finally released his new video series Mind Over Memphis.

“Don’t hate me because I’m tacky”

In this bold new experiment in full-motion arrogance, Dr Toboggans takes upon himself to “rehabilitate” the artists, activists, and philanthropists of Memphis and put them back on the path of passivity and therapeutic dependence.

All while charging a sizable fee, I’m sure.

If you’re feeling brave*, and haven’t recently eaten, you can watch the series preview here:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Mind Over Memphis Preview

Unfortunately this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have it on good authority that three unsuspecting victims have already fallen prey to the Doctor’s overpriced malpractice and will “star” in upcoming episodes.

These poor souls are:

• Kevin Gaiman of Nightshade Manner
• Ken Steorts of Visible School
• Guy Cobb of the Tennessee Superlab Show

My heart goes out to them all.

Sadly, this is not the first time Memphians have fallen victim to the Doctor Toboggans and his wiles.

After all, who could forget the Cooper Young Fest Fiasco?

Or the undead abuse at the Memphis Zombie March?

Clearly this man is a menace to the city and should be, if not stopped, at least watched.

One episode at a time.

—

*I assume no responsibility for any nausea, seizures, or mental anguish that may result from unfiltered Toboggans exposure of this sort.

As you might have notice, I’m having trouble with my Comma.

As in so many other endeavors timing is everything, and this timing is a little rough.

Currently I am:

• Co-producing Doctor Toboggans’s upcoming video series Mind Over Memphis
• Spinning up drtoboggans.com to host the new series
• Handling a large and unexpected new project at my day job
• Prepping Doctor Toboggans for a month long evening gig
• Putting together a conference presentation on “The Blog as an Art Form”

…And now bolting the Ominous Comma back together again.

Needless to say, I’m going to be busy. Feel free to comment in with reminders to eat and sleep and breathe.

I’ll probably need it.

Happy Sunday

Therapist, eyesore, and my own personal nightmare Doctor Harold Toboggans is threatening the Cooper Young Festival with his presence this year, according to sources with the misfortune of being close to him.

Insiders deep within the squalid confines of Toboggans Industries, say that the Doctor is intent on “curing” the estimated eighty-five thousand people expected to attend the festival from some new mental scourge that he won’t describe.

Like a James Bond villain, he even monologued about it at some depth on his tacky new site drtoboggans.com.

My advice: run.

Good people of the internet, I bring you troubling news.

For two-and-a-half years I have taken it upon myself to contain Doctor Harold Toboggans and his hideous plague of smugness, vitriol, and sheer arrogance, using myself and this site like a human shield, or more appropriately, like a military grade petri dish.

But all bad things must come to an end eventually, and Doctor Toboggans has decided that The Ominous Comma is just not big enough for the both of us.

And his ego.

So he has created his own headquarters at drtoboggans.com, scorning all my efforts to assist him in design, aesthetics, or usability.

The results are not pretty.

It’s definitely not web 2.0.

I’m not sure it’s even web .0002.

It is, like everything else about him, painfully tacky.

I know you will want to rush out and see this new eyesore of the interwaves right away, but be careful, Toboggans is no one to be trifled with.

Even Google seems to be no match for our Doctor.

Witness how quickly he got his Google account reinstated after I had it banned on Gmail last week.

But if you simply must visit his new site, I think this Saturday would be a relatively safe time. I hear from reliable sources that he will be out and about in Memphis filming  interviews for his new video series.

Remember, now that he is out on his own, it will be more important that ever to help me keep an eye on Dr. Toboggans on the major social networks. Please befriend him here:

Twitter

And report back to me with any suspicious activities you observe.

Happy Friday-Eve

-Brent

Yesterday I finally did it. After weeks of spying, hacking, and ballistic-hypnosis I finally breached the hollowed portals of Doctor Harold Toboggans’s triple-reinforced ultramax-security Google account.

Once there, I wasted no time in composing an urgent warning to Comma fans everywhere about Doctor T’s ventures into the offline world.

About how he’s skulking across YouTube. About how he’s menacing MySpace. About how he’s completely unsupervised on Facebook.

Then I sent it to every person who has ever commented upon this blog. All 546 of them.

That’s when Google struck.

With lightning swiftness their net-ninjas revoked the doctor’s Gmail account for, of all things,…spamming.

Spamming?

Is the Emergency Broadcast System spamming when they override every broadcast signal in America to inform you that there is no emergency at the moment?

Is the president spamming when he interrupts critical reruns of the A-team to remind everyone that he hasn’t bankrupted the country yet?

Are random pharmaceutical marketers spamming when they fill your email with urgent offers for male enhancement products?

Okay, well those last guys are, but let’s not lose track of the point here: in the midst of an actual psychological crisis Google banned me for getting the word out.

As terrifying as it is, I can think of only one explanation.

Doctor Toboggans had finally infiltrated the Big G.

I always knew he had patients in high places but not that high.

(Sigh)

Don’t be surprised when you see a host of “new” Google services rolled out in the near future. Services like Google Rorschach, Google CreditSpy, and even Google Commentstone.

As hard as it is to believe, I might actually find myself rooting for Microsoft.

Eerie.

Update

Even as I deliver this second warning, I see that Doctor Toboggans has already renamed sizable portions of the internet after himself. Please help me keep track this late breaking menace  before it’s too later than it already is. Please monitor the following networks:

Twitter

Thank you, the sanity you save just might be your own.

Sometimes incredible just isn’t good enough.

Last May, when the revolutionary Zombies Anonymous program was introduced, it was met with rave reviews and hundreds of overjoyed customers.

But Doctor Harold Toboggans wasn’t satisfied.

He knew that there must be something more, something that he and the dedicated staff at Toboggans Industries could do to relieve those reanimated wretches from their undead suffering and unspent cash.

He thought deeply

He released directives and commissioned programs.

He reorganized the corporation, refinanced the lab, and refolded his socks.

And then, after nearly a full day of grueling research and untold minutes of clinical trials, Doctor Toboggans introduced Cerebitol AZ – the ultimate topical application anti-zombitory patch.

Cerebitol AZ – Anti Zombie Patch

Made from synthetic neurotransmitters and genuine cranial extracts, Cerebitol AZ offers unprecedented 12 hour freedom from the symptoms of zombieism.

With Cerebitol AZ you can:

• Control your craving for brains
• Cut down on between meal snacking
• Gain relief from the discomfort of Chronic Deceased Syndrome

Don’t believe it? We don’t blame you, but see for yourself as Doctor Toboggans demonstrates Cerebitol AZ on the undead citizens of Memphis.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Anti Zombie Patch

With the combined power of Cerebitol AZ and Zombies Anonymous, not to mention the limitless genius of  Doctor Harold Toboggans, you can at last leave your lurching lust for human tissue behind.

Only from Toboggans Industries – Life Improvement for the Success Deficient.

I have for you today my latest video in the What Brent Says series. I had originally titled it “You Look Too Good,” but my old associate Herman Fording hooked me up with a more sensational headline.

So with no further ado allow me to present:

Evil Corporation Steals my Hot Wife

Click here to view the embedded video.

Being a free country and all you have the joyous opportunity to watch Evil Corporation Steals my Hot Wife over and over again, as many times as you like. You also have the privilege of rating it and leaving outraged and highly opinionated comments upon YouTube itself.

It’s just another thing that makes America so great.

Go ahead, you know you want to.