The Once and Future Blog

How the Dust has Settled

2016-06-20T18:10:00.001-07:00

Man... I'm gone for four years and the blog just fucking falls apart. Who am I paying to run this show, anyway?

Oh, wait... no one.

Well, I'm back, and in going over some of the posts on this blog, I have to say Past Dan was a whiny bitch. Funny, charming, handsome, but still, a whiny bitch.

Kidding, Past Dan, I love you, you're great. But maybe post some content once in a while? I mean, Jesus, four whole years?! You're not emo enough to think that coming back after that kind of hiatus makes you "cool," are you?

Things are going to change around here. First, more regular updates, none of this, "I'll update when I have meaningful thoughts," bullshit. We have a business to run, kiddo... this ain't no place for no hero.

New Projects

2012-07-25T00:58:00.002-07:00

For a while now I've been wanting to learn how to build my own website as a means of putting more writing and stuff up in new corners of the internet. I figured, why not share the experience?

So, I built a new blog, one with step-by-step lessons for learning HTML. Each one will be made up and posted as I learn it myself, so that way I'm really coming at it from a beginner's perspective. Hopefully it's a hit!

Also, I've been writing some stuff for DeviantART, and plan on getting more posted soon. Currently, I'm working on a sequel to Bob's Tattoo and Grocery, so we'll see how that goes.

Also, pen-palling around with a Russian girl. Just a side note. This is a personal blog, remember.

Taking Writing to a Whole New Seriousness

2012-04-22T19:37:00.001-07:00

Just pitched my first idea to a website. Hopefully they like it. Now I have to write up some school crap and get real work done, so I can go back to pitching ideas.

Oh, and I forgot to eat really anything today. Damn. It's like the Titanic sank and my stomach got pulled in after it.

Hold on a Second

2012-04-22T12:47:00.002-07:00

That last post didn't really convey my usual humorous self, so I think I should try again.

Ahem...

I don't think I need to do drugs. Here's why; those existential moments we all here our stoner/tweaker friends talking about when they, like, swear they could taste Neptune? I get those from sleep deprivation.

I once had a dream where I was thinking over my life and some more stressful problems I was facing at the time. I was alone in a white expanse, talking to myself and pulling up visual aids as needed, like a chalkboard to draw out what I was thinking. I'm a pretty rational guy who likes to plan and think things out a lot, so this really isn't that unusual of a scenario for me.

Here's where it gets weird: after deciding I needed to bounce my ideas off of another person, I split into maybe five or six copies of myself, each one a single facet of my personality. We proceeded to argue over my usual thought process, and there were a number of interesting moments as Practicality put Intellectualism into a headlock, which led to Caution taking a step back, Rage getting over-excited and teaming up with Angst to beat the living shit out Reason, who sidestepped the whole situation by concluding that as a projection of my own consciousness, he did not actually exist.

Libido just sort of walked off after making a load of crass comments. I wasn't sure where he went until months later, when he sent me a post card from Rio de Jeneiro. He wrote of his many exploits and confirmed my long held suspicions that if I had less things going on in my head, I'd probably get laid.

When I woke up, I concluded that I should probably see a doctor about this. Then I checked my pulse, got a glass of water, and went back to sleep. I don't remember having any other dreams after that.

Thinking about college...

2012-04-22T12:30:00.002-07:00

Yet another Hub posting last night, this time on the subject of college and whether or not it's worth it. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, as I want to get a journalism degree, which right now is not really a well-paying career.

It's one of those things where I can already write, why go to school for it? Other than that piece of paper, there really isn't a good reason to. I need a good job, and to get a good job, I need a bachelors degree. But I don't want the debt that goes with it.

So I did some research and wrote "University Blues". There's a link at the bottom of the page, or you can look at the "My HubPages" link in the sidebar.

Thoughts and Musings

2012-04-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Just posted a new article on Hubpages (link at bottom of page). It's called I, Muslim, and it was meant for school. I'm turning it in tomorrow, but I put it online first to sort of test the waters. So far, it's about as popular as the only other Hub I've done, the "Impression, Sunrise" interpretation. Apparently people are into art and religion, so if I can key into that with some more articles, maybe I can start making some money off my hobby.

In other news, I've been talking to my friends about getting some business ideas afloat. Maybe in a couple years we can have a coffee shop or something. Who knows? I'm just getting really sick of school. It's hard enough to keep up with work stuff as it is. I just need to keep writing and start submitting to venues in a serious way. School won't do that for me, and short of having a degree for job purposes, I think I've pretty much maxed out any value to be gained from formal education.

So yeah, that's my world. Thank you, assorted listeners.

Oh, and I can do a Sean Connery impression now- but I can only say phrases with lots of dirty words, particularly if they have a lot of "S" sounds. I should be on the damn radio, you know?

It has been way, way too long.

2012-03-18T19:42:00.000-07:00

So I forgot I had this blog.

Things are okay for now. I'm still in school after a major breakdown about a year ago in which my physical and mental health led to a poor semester grade-wise, but now I'm back with a vengeance and working roughly 30 hours a week as a manager at a market research call center. Those guys you hate that call during dinner and want to know about that cell phone plan you just purchased?

Ich bin ein that asshole!

So yeah, there's that. Also over the last year I've written a few more short stories, not that anyone has noticed anything, and have gotten into the actual work of writing a book, of which I have about 30-40 pages so far, depending on how I want to incorporate some of my other unpublished ideas. 30 pages of solid reading is already written, though, so I'm on my way.

Hopefully I can remember to post on this blog. You know, 'cause people notice when I don't.

Meh... Flow of conciousness blog post.

2011-03-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

I'm lying in bed, can't sleep, listening to Bittersweet Symphony. Again...

Just set up an account on Wikinut, which so far looks promising. Going to try and submit an article to Cracked.com. As soon as I think up an idea, that is.

Now I'm on It Was So Beautiful, by Stephane Grappelli. Arguably, the best jazz violinist France ever saw, and it doesn't hurt that Django Reinhardt is on guitar.

Just been thinking too much lately. Can't focus my head on anything useful.

Oh, the site that's showcasing my work- ltfawkes.com. It's got about 24,000 hits right now. I'll post a link on the sidebar or something, you know, for all of my fans who read this blog at least three times a day. Remember, you're not normal unless you read a blog at least as many times as you brush your teeth.

I thought it was kind of funny, tonight. At dinner, there's all these ads for different nonsense on the tables, so I drew all over them. Stuff like eye patches and little faces peeking around corners. Then I wrote the URL for this blog in the corner, to do a little advertising of my own. We'll see if it works.

Send Me On My Way, by Rusted Root. Thinking about Video Killed the Radio Star next. I like a lot of these one-hit-wonder bands. It's like you have most bands, which make a couple of really good songs over a decade or so, and then the other bands that make one really damn good, top-drawer track. I just lean towards that, somehow.

I've been sick off and on for like two, three weeks now. At first I figured it's just cause of the whole living in the dorms with nasty people who don't bathe thing, but now I'm going to see a doctor next week. I go back and forth between being fairly okay and then feeling like a plane crash every few hours. It's getting old.

I have to go to a play tomorrow. It's this traveling theater thing from Montana that gets kids to like performing. I respect what they do, but I just know it's going to be lame. My brother's in it, so that ought to be good. He really gets into it.

Mostly, I'm just not looking forward to going to my old high school. I don't talk to any of my former classmates- used to go whole days without saying a word or having a word said to me. Maybe I'll get lucky and I won't run into anyone.

Devil Went Down To Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band. I hope it's the uncensored version. It just ruins the whole flow when they say "son of a gun" instead of "son of a bitch". Rednecks don't say "son of a gun", they say "I dun hard cuzin Skeetch wus cummin' inta tawn an' he dun gun' bring summa 'is kids 'n

DAMN! It is the radio edit!

She Blinded Me With Science, by Thomas Dolby. mwahahahahaha.....

I want a lab coat. I'd have pens and mechanical pencils in the pocket. The good ones, like Zebra pens and those pencils from Germany I like so much. They're these nifty drafting pencils. God... I get a chill just thinking about it. I say it all the time, a good writing stick is like an extension of the hand. You don't feel it, it's just there, and the writing slides onto the paper. It's beautiful like your date's prom dress is supposed to be, only it's worn more than once and there is way, WAY less grinding.

Here Comes The Sun, by the Beatles.

One day, people will pay me to write this gibberish. Gibberish... "I like the cut of that man's Gib...erish".

The cool part about the interweb? I can do this...

iicgnpAAAAQXPOn;ubu;jjjjjjj k;hugypnpg;

...and I don't get put away. How cool is that? I swear, if they had had this back in the day, the asylums would have been empty.

Yoda, by Weird Al.

I heard they were going to make a seventh Star Wars. I read a bunch of the expanded universe novels and stuff... Frankly, I just think Lucas can only make one kind of movie, and it ain't American Graffiti. He must realize it by now, because what other motivation could he have for another movie? He's loaded, and he makes a nickel every other time anyone says Star out of context, so it must be that he wants to be creative, but he knows he can't top Obi-Wan and the dude in black armor. What was his name... Oh yeah,

She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead...

One day, when I'm committed, they'll look at this blog to understand the moment I lost it. Little will they know, I never had it in the first place...

One day, I'd like to find a nice girl. I'd walk up to her, look her right in the eye, take her hands in mine, and say,

"You make me think of Passion Fruit."

She will be mine, or she will be flabbergasted, and when I ask which she is, I'll know she's my soul mate if she responds,

"Frosted Flakes are the best breakfast cereal, aren't they?"

Then, we will discuss nuclear science and the rise and fall of a little known fictional emperor of my imagination named Phillip the Meek But With Slick Hair and a Keen Disposition Making him Liked by Nine Tenths of the Peasantry.

Bad Reputation, by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

The Boys Are Back In Town, by Thin Lizzy.

I have the nicer earbuds, the ones that curve around the outer ear to keep secure. Superior in every way, except the right one has a tendency to shock me right in the fucking ear. Power ballads never sounded so powerful.

"Couldn't care less" and "Could care less" mean the same thing. Both display a healthy measure of apathy.

Glenn Beck is a pussy. Joe Biden reminds me of a dog that just left a surprise. The Tea Party has nothing to do with tea. Coffee is better. We never would have dumped coffee into a harbor.

If You Believe In Magic, by Lovin' Spoonful. Makes the medicine go down, I've been told.

What the hell is bananas foster? I have it stuck in my head, now. I just keep thinking Jodie Foster and Bananas in Pajamas. They have a demon child together, Jonana. It's 50 feet tall and has a penchant for upstaging Japanese cultural icons.

La Vaca Grande, or the Giant Cow: It terrorizes Mexican villages. The peasants run in terror, but are drowned in a flood of milk! WHY, GOD? WHYYYY DID THEY ALL HAVE TO BE LACTOSE INTOLERANT?!?! (weeps silently, clutching the bodies of his wife and child).

And now I have an idea for a story. You have just witnessed birth! CLEAN YOUR EYES, FOOLS!

The Power of Love, Huey Lewis and the News.

'Night all.

New Submission and Such!

2011-03-09T00:34:00.000-08:00

I just submitted The Man with no First Name to both HubPages and deviantART. It's only about 500 words or so, but it's something that's been on my hard drive for a while and I finally stopped kicking it around and finished it.

Good news: One of my followers on HubPages runs a showcase website for writers he likes. After reading some of my short stories, he wanted to post them on his site. I just emailed him the final edits on Miracle on a Stairwell, and I'm waiting to hear back from him. I'm waiting for permission to link to his site, but so far it looks legit.

Also good news: I've finally (FINALLY) worked up the spark to start working on my big projects. See, If I want to do this whole writing thing the right way, I have to right a book at some point. I have two projects that maybe one day will make it that far. I'm not going to give any details, because this is the grand ol' interweb, and I'm afraid of being word-rustled.

Not so good news: I've been sick for like a week now. Exhausted and sick to my stomach.

Sorta good news: I'm dancing with myself!

New short story: Bob's Tattoo and Grocery

2011-02-25T01:40:00.000-08:00

I feel pretty good for 2:30 in the morning. I just wrote a short story about love, loss, adventure, and finding your way- also, chupacabras. It's posted on my HubPages and deviantART, and so far it's not doing too shabby. If you're one of the three people who I assume are reading this blog, check it out. Hopefully, there will be more to come in the neat future.

With that said, I leave you with this thought- Stonehenge wouldn't have worked in just two dimensions.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Bobs-Tattoo-and-Grocery

http://darknezz111.deviantart.com/#/d3acge1

Now that I have the hang of this...

2011-02-24T01:04:00.000-08:00

Alrighty then. The blog is set up and linked to my Google accounts, and I have the green light on for go. Now I just have to start writing things.

First, here's why I'm doing this: I hate blogs. I have never, ever in my entire life wanted anything to do with them. They welcome the voices of people who don't know what they're talking about and clutter both the internet and the minds of people who read them. They are partly responsible for the falling out of the news media in recent years, and allow people the luxury of being irresponsible with their thoughts.

That being said, I'm a writer. I'm going to school to study journalism. If I want to make money as a writer, I need to get publicity so that people will buy my words on paper. The most difficult time to write is after you've starved to death, so here I am. Hopefully this project of mine pans out.

I have feeds and links to my work from different sites across the web on the main page. So far, I have accounts on deviantART, YouTube, and HubPages. I'm looking at some other sites, trying to get as networked as possible before I start really posting everything. I have a few things in mothballs that I can dust off, so that's probably what I'll be uploading first. If you're reading this, check out the links and post feedback.

And... That's all for this post.

The Origins of the Once and Future Blog...

2011-02-22T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've finally succumbed to the blogosphere. I'll figure things out from here and see if I can actually make a blog that sticks and gets traffic. It'd be nice to make a little money, you know? We'll see... If nothing else I can at least get free publicity for my writing, which I'll post here after I figure out what the hell I'm doing.