The Only Constant : CHANGE

Simple truth

2010-02-24T22:39:00.000-08:00

The Chinese Spring Festival is almost over and now we can get back to our normal routine. Like to share these simple stories.

Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the ques tions until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. 'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..It read:'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked. 'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. 'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simpl y walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway. Now you have 2 choices. I hope that you will choose No. 2 Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching.

Personal effectiveness

2010-02-06T20:22:00.001-08:00

Through role play, discussions, oral presentations and mini lectures this group of young lecturers and staff of TAR college sharpened their skills in being more effective both in the workplace as well as in their social interaction.

The training focussed on three dimensions in the framework of personal effectiveness, namely self disclosure, receptiveness to feedback and perceptiveness. There was a great deal of laughter when group E members - Puvenaswaran, Loh Mei Yee, Yong Yen Ping, Chong Pei teng and Mohd Rizzham practised confronting and defensive forms of behaviour when responding to feedback. This group also created liveliness when they applied the attribution theory in the role play situations.

The role play to demonstrate aggressive, assertive and passive behaviuor enacted by Soo Soon Seng, Mogana, Anisah, Tan Wee Tion and Chin Sam Feng was so realistic that the class thought that a fight would ensue.

Ooi Shiu Luan, Siew Mei Leng, Choo Keat Yeen, Shubashini and Lai Shui Kiong from group A should be applauded for the good article review ( "More than idle chatter" by Donald Sull and Ben Bryant) on business discussion. To avoid the pitfall of discussions or " idle chatter", managers should focus on the following simple questions: "Are we trying to make sense, prioritize, make it happen or revise assumptions". Discussions carried out to suit the situation will enable managers to acquire strategic agility in order to master uncertainty.

Group B members - Kee Bee Suan, Nur Liana, Lee Mun Yee and Lim Poh Keng were fortunate to learn first hand some counselling skills from thieir group member Yap Hock Heng. Deserving praise are members of group C - Tengku Nur Nikman, Yap Yong Yong, Zu Farnim, Rachel and Thirukuman for their rapt attention and total involvement in all activities.

Everyone enjoyed themselves and all went away with the commitment to practise what they have learnt.

Sharing interests

2010-01-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

What would a group of ladies from different backgrounds, nationalities and professions have in common? Interesting question but not difficult to answer.

The group is a mixture of home-makers, retired school teachers, a medical doctor, beauticians, business women, manager of a hardware company, a stock broker, and the youngest is the co-owner and operator of a tuition and day care centre. Further diversity is reflected in the background for three of the ladies are from Taiwan but have since become full fledged Malaysians in their outlook , their way of live and values.

Many interesting threads run across o to link up this group. The core group is related by marriage, then clan group, sports related activities, work related environment and also business connections. The most recent connection is the current involvement in promoting e-learning.

What is this e-learning all about? With "webucation", home tuition, study habits and revision tools have made it possible for students to score straight 'A's . A Malaysian company called Kenshido International Sdn Bhd. markets an e-learning programme which covers all subjects and at all levels following the Malaysian school syllabus with the tag line "Now! Everyone can score".

The effectiveness of this method of learning called "output learning" includes (among many others,) features to enable parents to appraise their children's academic progress as well as help them supervise and determine their children's strength and weaknesses of their children, to know their children's development at anytime and to render help immediately, when necessary. This is of utmost importance for parents have always wanted to be involved in their children's success instead of depending only on face to face tuition. Parents who have so far felt at a loss as to how they can empower their children, can make use of this comprehensive programme which is both user friendly as well affordable. More information can be obtained from the web site.

But whatever the type of relationship, the regular lunch gatherings is a healthy activity. Although food may be top priority, the fellowship shared, the ensuing laughter after a good joke is cracked, and recalling of past activities and experiences are the premiums on the menu. Everyone goes away lifted and relaxed.

Four People

2010-01-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

Can you identify with this story? Sad to say the answer is "yes" for most of us. People have the tendency to follow the path of least resistance. When something crops up that requires our attention, the easiest way out to to say..."it's none of my business", or "don't look for trouble" or "let's wait for directives", or something along these lines just to avoid taking action.

If such a situation is allowed to perpetuate, it is tantamount to "passing the buck". Few are prepared to take responsibilty, show interest, or be proactive when action is called for. To break away from this culture of complacency demands courage, conviction and great effort because this sort of behaviour will be perceived to being "Kaypoh" (busybody). But try we must to change this mindset so that we can be effective.

Sleepy Hollow

2010-01-28T20:57:00.001-08:00

Sleepy Hollow? If you are having images of dilapidated dwellings and old and tired people, you are wrong. Taiping has often been fondly or sacarstically been called 'The sleepy Hollow" or "Pensioners paradise". These two terms encaspulates the essence of what makes Taiping a unique town. (And also recently made national head lines regarding ther All Saints Church)

It was the first state capital of Perak, the centre of tin mining activities and cab also boast of having schools which are more than a hundred years old. The King Edward VII school, Convent school, Treacher Methodist Girls school and St Georges Institution are still maintaining their reputation of being leading schools in the town.

This brings us to the recent announcement by the Ministry of Education that the first twenty high performance schools have been named. And among the list which included residential school, primary and secondary schools, is the SK Convent Taiping, my alma mater. I fully agree with the views expressed by another old girl, (now a journalist) , Chok Suat Ling in her article in the NST January 28, 2010. The main issue on most peoples' minds is how the selection was made. What does it take for a school to be receive such an award?

Another interesting feature of the schools in Malaysia is the plethora of categories of schools... we have smart school, high performance schools, cluster schools, vision schools, premier schools, controlled schools, central schools, sports schools and the list goes on. It is sad to imagine the the attendant inplications of this situation. Are schools which are not on the list to be regarded as "second rate? Will there be no hope for the students to achive high academic success and receive a holistic education. Well these are really interesting as well as confusing issues which parents have to cope with.

Historical site

2010-01-27T02:01:00.000-08:00

Few places can boast of the long history of this club. Founded in 1894, it was initially meant for the expatriates who were then working as planters in the estates as well as the engineers from the tin mines and also colonial civil servants. Sources have revealed that there was another club located opposite this club further down the road and this was meant for the local people. It is not surprising that such discrimination existed at that time and we can proudly say that we have come a long way since the membership of this club has evolved with the times.

Visitors to Taiping should not miss the chance to visit this historical club. The "classical" structure has remained basically the same but renovations and upgrading of the building and facilities have added a modern touch without spoiling the "colonial air" of the club. The verandah with the green palms have added a soft and cool ambience while members and their guests have a refreshing drink. Members can even just relax or just read the newspapers while enjoying the cool breeze form the lake gardens.

The open concept of the front facade overlooking the town esplanade commands a spectacular view when there are functions, football games and of course the annual National Day celebrations. Inside the main hall which is used for club functions, dinners and dances.Visitors can be informed of the sports honour rolls as well as the previous office bearers. Also to be admired the silver trophies displayed in the glass cabinets.

For the members the club represents a good place for sporting and social activities. Added to this the club also serves delicious food at all times and the price is reasonable. This will remain a good place to meet up with friends as well as entertain visitors because of the friendly, cosy and relaxed atmosphere.

Ninja Turtles

2010-01-17T00:50:00.000-08:00

What do Ninja Turtles and Giant Lobsters have in common? These two came together for a joyous birthday celebration of a lucky father/grandfather/and brother.

Such celebrations are very meaningful occasions. Besides the delicious and exotic food, it also brings family members together. For the young, birthdays are times associated with birthday presents and the inevitable birthday cake, the blowing out of candles and the cutting of the cake.

But for the adults, birthdays may mean more than that. Quoting from a Memory Lane birthday card.... "Everyday is a gift from God", we are also reminded that life is precious and as such we should live our lives in a meaningful way, always mindful of the roles we have to play as well as being contented with what God has bestowed on us. Instead of counting how old we are, we should count our blessings in the "box of chocolates ...to quote Forrest Gump...Life is like a box of chocolates...you do not know what you are going to get.....". Enjoy life!!!

Your child can't read?

2010-01-12T19:55:00.000-08:00

Do not despair if your child cannot read. According to an expert in dyslexia, Ron Yoshimoto (Sunday Times Jan 10, 2010),there is a method which has proven to be the most successful in training children with dyslexia to read. This method is called the Orton Gillingham (OG) has been widely used over the past fifty years to train children with learning difficulties in th US and is also widely used in Singapore.

Ron Yoshimoto explains that children with "dyslexia have a 'phonological deficit' leading them to have difficulty decoding words on a phonological level and a cannot break words into separate small units of sound called phonemes"

What exactly is "Orton-Gillingham" Methodology?
Orton-Gillingham based curriculum is multisensory. It is a specific way of teaching children with learning disabilities, and particularly for overcoming dyslexia. The method was created through the joint efforts of Samuel T. Orton and Anna Gillingham. Specifically, Orton-Gillingham programs incorporate specific, sequential, direct, multisensory instruction.

For children with dyslexia, this means they are taught every sound (phoneme) and the representative letter combination(s) that represent the sound, one at a time, in a specific order, in a small group, using multi-sensory teaching methods. The multi-sensory teaching methods may be tracing letters with their finger in sand as they say the sound (not the letter), or tracing the letter on the carpet with their bare feet as they say the sound, making the letters out of clay, or pipe cleaners, or using any other medium that allows them to hear, see, feel, and move while learning their sound/letter combinations.

Children who have this learning disorder will have lower self esteem and in their frustration of being unable to read and write, they may become angry and display other misbehaviours. Thus it is important for parents and those involved in early childhood education to identify any signs of dyslexia in the children under their care. Maybe screening for learning diabilities among preschools children should be made compulsory so that early intervention whuich is crucial in helping the children can be systematically carried out.

The efforts made by a certain parent Chong Hing Pheng, a human resource director for a logistics company, for her son who is severly dyslexic paid off handsomely when her eleven year old gets As for his spelling and English rests. (Sunday Times Jan 20 2010). She is indeed an inspiration and her advice to parents is to move fast to help children with learning disabilities and not to be in denial. We are proud of you Ms Chong!!!

Are You Listening?

2010-01-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

"Seek first to understand than to be understood". This quote from Stephen Covey empahises that in order to have effective interpersonal communication, one has to understand where the person is "coming from".

According to Karen Irmsher in an article "Communication Skills" published in Eric Digest, January 1996, besides the needs shown in Maslow's needs' hierarchy table, Covey observes that "the greatest need of a human being is the psychological survival-to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated". So when we listen carefully when a person is speaking, we are in a fact giving that person a "psychologocal air' thus satisfying the person's vital need. With this, one can then focus on understanding and influencing the person.

In Karen Irmsher article, she stated that good listeners don't interrupt, especially to correct mistakes or make points; don't judge; think before answering; face the speaker; are close enough to hear; watch nonverbal behaviour; are aware or biases or values that distort what they hear; look for feelings and basic assumptions underlying remarks; concentrate on what is being said; avoid rehearsing answers while the other person is talking; and don't insist on having the last word. (Richard Gemmet 1977)

These pointers for effective listening were intensely discussed at a training workshop attended by a group of lecturers of TAR College in Kuala Lumpur. The groups brainstormed, conducted role play sessions as well made individual and group presentation as part of the activities. This module was part of the workshop on Effective Classroom management and Communication held over two days.

It was encouraging to observe the lecturers busy with all the activities set out for them. In fact I was impressed with the interest shown, the steep learning curve of the lecturers and their useful feedback on issues and problems that they have encountered in their work. It is hoped that the knowledge gained and skills acquired have motivated them to be even more effective in their job and also help them in their personal development.

Growing old gracefully

2010-01-07T02:47:00.000-08:00

It was indeed sad to hear stories about some of our mutual friends who in their retirement years are being reclusive.

There is a case of a lady who was friendly and sociable during her working life. She was lively and shared her experiences of her hometown, cooking tips, health secrets, hobbies and common ladies' issues. But she has now become unsociable and is a recluse. Even her immeditae neighbours have no inkling of her what is happening in her house or what has become of her.

Another sad tale is about a lady of leisure who has been the life wire in her social circles- a typical "tai-tai" who enjoyed life, shopping, travelling overseas and just being "happy" and even with maids at her back and call. But she is now a recluse- shunning friends, being pessismistic and a hypochondraic.

These two examples triggered some discusssion when we (the retirees of TMGS) met yesterday. Some critical issues include: What does retirement mean? How best should our golden years be spent? What are some of activities we can be involved in?

The general opinion is that we are responsible for our own happiness. It is up to the individual to take action and get involved in activities that are going on or are invited to participate. Action also includes involvement in meaningful hobbies and even helping out in activities of NGOs or religion based groups. But the important consideration is to have a balance of activities that are, personal hobbies such as gardening, knotting, watching TV, etc as well as those that get us out of the house and interacting with other people.

In this respect, the monthly lunch gatherings of the informal retirees' club of TMGS is a event that many of us look forward to. Meeting up with former collegues to exchange gossips, having a good harmless laugh and sharing health complaints is very uplifting. At least we can let our hair down, release tension and have a good meal once a month. So hurray for this smart idea which was mooted more than two years ago!!1

Story of the bird.

2010-01-04T02:05:00.000-08:00

I am sharing an interesting story which I received.

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

What lessons can we learn from the story:?
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

A reminder of these simple lessons in life is useful for we are sometimes narrow in our perception of happenings around us. Often when things do not turn out the way we expect, we are very quick to point fingers instead of looking within ourselves to analyse the situation. Maybe recognizing that certain things are within our control can help us accept reality and take positive action to resolve the problem. Thus having a positive mental attitude is the key to good interpersonal communication and being happy.

Avatar

2010-01-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

Congratulations Philip Lim on the good review of the movie Avatar in the Sunday Times of January 2nd.

On new year's day I was given a treat to this movie in Singapore and I agree with your views. Through the 3D experience, I was totally immersed in the whole adventure. For one who is not really a fan of fantasy and sci-fi movies, I must admit that I was enthralled and went away very impressed, happy and even inspired.

Technology aside, it was the moral and social messages that moved me. Immediately after the show we debated on the messages and concurred on some of these.

The social issue of "the green message" of protecting the forest must have gone down well with viewers - very relevant in view of the government's current efforts at preserving the environment, introducing 'green technology', giving incentives for buildings that incorporate 'green features', etc.

Then the more important moral issue of the protection of one's basic rights of survival and also a reminder to us not to condone the actions of those who feel that they are more superior than others and by default can "colonize" territorities that they desire. We should learn to respect others' rights and not to be covertous of what other people have.

Also inspiring are the heroic actions of the protagonists who fight so hard to help save the planet Pandora. This may motivate us to help out in our own way to protect the environment and also to help those less fortunate than ourselves.

But what really touched me was the spiritual aspect of the culture of the Na'vi people. Their sincere belief in their leaders and the power of a mother-goddess, Eywa and the unity of their actions are virtues that will certainly foster national cohesiveness.

I highly recommend this movie but make sure you enjoy it with the 3D effects.

"I see you".

PS Cafe, Dempsey Hill.

2010-01-02T00:07:00.000-08:00

An interesting place for brunch in Singapore is PS Cafe in Dempsey Hill. A "must have" order is the shoe-string fries, drizzled with truffle oil. The order was large, even for two so be prepared to have more than your permitted amount of FAT!! The first few chips tasted very good, maybe because of the expectations and the reviews received from friends. But after a few more, you may feel you have quite enough!!

The main dish was smoked salmon served on a toasted slice of sour dough bread sandwiched with watercress and grilled asparagus topped with an egg fried bulls-eye style with really runny yolk, with cherry tomatoes on the side. Frankly it was quite disappointing.

But the saving grace came in the form of a slice of flourless orange cake, topped with caramelized juliened rind served with butter sauce and a scoop of ice cream. Yummy!! It was a pity that we could not try the other types of cakes and muffins for they really looked very delicious displayed on the counter. Some food for thought should there be another visit. But I have to think twice for the prices are too stiff for my wallet!! But do experience this for yourself for you may think otherwise.

Year 2010

2010-01-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

Happy new year and season's greetings.

The spectacular fireworks display at Marina Bay in Singapore welcomed the new year with a literal "big bang". Sailing in the tugboat along the Singapore river forty minutes before the countdown was a new experience for me.

The whole place was bustling with people of all races and creed. Crowds had gathered at various vantage points to witness the fireworks display. But from the boat, the added advantage was also to watch the crowds along the river side, along the Cavenagh Bridge, the Merlion Park and the Esplanade Bridge. The atmosphere was one of festivity-people partying away in the pubs and cafes nearby, chatting away, or just strolling around. But what was more appealing to me was the enjoy the charm of the city lights of the iconic buildings around as well as the lights and floating balls in Marina Bay.

The Djs tried to boost up the joyful mood and at one instance even called on people to reflect on their lives of the current year and to make their resolutions for the new year. I wondered how this mental exercise could be possible..... maybe a quite time later would be more appropriate.

As countdown approached the crowds cheered and all were richly rewarded with the eight minutes of fireworks to usher in the new year. It is left for all of us to make our resolutions and set our goals for a richer and more meaningful life.