we'd see that the dust
was once stone -
grand, and hard, and proud, and tough -
now ground and dissolved
in grace and tears.

So... how much better
to be a grain of dirt
on that kind prophet’s hands
than a stone
in the cold, accusing Temple
of the pure.

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God it's lonely up here.
I thought I had risen above it all, surrounded by Pilkington and reinforced concrete.
The Urban Individual, in penthouse isolation.
The detached life.

Social climbing, promotion, negotiation, natural selection, top of the pile, rising star in Eastern Bank.
Responsible position.
My own office.
A detached space for a detached life.

Free-agent, no responsibilities, do as I please, what I please, what pleases me.
What pleases me?

So involved in my self, my life, my work, I never saw where everyone went.

God, it's lonely up here.
This is my transmission, my song of assent: Save My Soul.

Originally posted at vaux.net

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A couple of years ago at Vaux we did a series of meetings around 'My Urban Practice', which were simply an opportunity for individuals in the group to have an evening to talk about their day to day work. It was amazing how much we more we discovered about people.

So we decided to do something similar and give people a chance to explore/share something about their family background. I just went through all of my patriarchs, back to my 4 great grandfathers. It was great just to explore some of that history anyway, and nice to open some of that up to people, hopefully to allow them to understand me better.

//

Selfish Genes and Generous Spirits

Opening Prayer

Oh God, who is jealous enough to punish the children for the sins of their great-grandfathers,
and loving enough to show mercy to a thousand generations beyond,
be kind to us today as we gather.
We cannot enter our mothers’ wombs again,
yet you promise us rebirth
into the holy and mysterious family that is each other, and you.

Bryson

Welcome. And congratulations. I am delighted that you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I  suspect it was a little tougher than you realize. To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you.

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It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you indeed, don't even know that you are there. It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you. The bad news is that atoms are fickle and their time of devotion is fleeting-fleeting indeed. Even a long human life adds up to only about 650,000 hours. And when that modest milestone flashes past, for reasons unknown your atoms will shut you down, silently disassemble, and go off to be other things. And that's it for you.

However, you have been extremely - make that miraculously - fortunate in your personal ancestry. Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result-eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly - in you.
(From "A Short History of Nearly Everything")

A Moment to Reflect

Prayer

God, my genes and atoms may have been made selfish and indifferent,
But I am more than this.
When my time is done, they will dissolve away, without care,
But we are more than this.
Invisible and weightless,
Your mystery is inside of me. Our genes may be selfish; may our spirits be generous.

[A Member of the Gathering Talks Through Their Family Tree]

Confession |  Waiting to be reborn

Romans 8:22,3: “We know that the whole of creation, right from the beginning has been groaning as if in labour,
just as we who resonate with the Spirit groan inwardly too as we wait for our rebirth in God.”

Eucharist

We break bread to remember our genetic families; the sacrifices and commitments 
they have made that allowed us to be here.
We drink wine in celebration of the family you have grafted us into,
thankful for your sacrifices and commitments that allow us to be here.
Amen.

Original Document:

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Beannacht ("Blessing")

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

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All that creeps and steals,
Skulks, sneaks and slithers,
Retreat!

There is life here, reignited,
Burning, heat and light.

No word can be said,
But the stone still cries out,
And retreats in holy fear.

Air rushes in terror to escape,
But is inhaled again,
In, out, in, out.
A leaden chest rises, and falls;
Black blood melts red and circulates.
An eye is opened, a muscle twitches;

A word is about to be said.
Creation, three days in revolution,
Waits in cold dread for its hearing…

But receives only forgiveness as
The sun rises.

Technorati: Resurrection | Easter

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reading - john 13v3-17

scraping off the shit
where we walk, we walk in the crap left by others, by ourselves, the mess of human lives, the comings and goings of a wasteful, corrupt and selfish world, we wallow in the dirt and the hurt, oblivious to the stink and the stains that we carry with us.  God stripped off all finery, stepped in our shit, knelt in it, touched it, held our ugliest bits in the very hands that made us and washed them clean.

hands which formed matter, pulse which set the rhythm of the planets, breath which stirred life into being, mind which dreamt the diversity of the species, eyes which bore deep into the heart of humanity, heart which yearns for us to choose peace, feet that walk each step with us, mouth which chides and comforts, arms which embrace the hurting, strength which sustains the weak, life which was given up for love, creator who scrapes the shit off my feet, God who serves.
wash me clean

...for the whole liturgy click here

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But God won't stay.

Controlled crying.
Separation an immediate fact post-partum:
we must learn to settle ourselves and enjoy the moments we have together.
Foretastes of another rupture to come,
a larger curtain rent, another cry of pain
when we'll be thrown down into
Mother's hands, never to leave them.

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The whole story of a God who became one of us and one with us… who was born and named, who died a criminals death and was buried in a rich mans tomb… who was restored to life and left earth still alive and kicking… and who promises to hold me to my words and actions, to forgive me, to value me and to restore me to who I was made to be… to the community of God.

I bind to myself today
Surrounded by the support of God and all who serve God… the Angels and the loyal servants, the faithful and the humble, the teachers and guides, the pure and the good… they continually light the way for me… show me how to try to live and to love… God and humanity.

I bind to myself today
The power of the whole community of God,
The awesome nature of all laid out before me,

The light of the sun,
The brightness of the moon,
The splendour of fire,
The flashing of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of sea,
The stability of earth,
The density of rocks.

The whole of the wonder of creation… the chaos and the calm.

I bind to myself today
God's authority to keep me on track me when I am confused and lost,
God's strength to hold my arm when I stumble and fall,
God's deep wisdom to bring me a glimpse of understanding and fascinate me,
God's eye to watch over me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's words in my mouth,
God's hand to hold mine,
God's path open before me,
God's shelter to protect me,
God's love to secure me,

Against all those who seek to control, dominate and distract me,
Against everyone who plans and seeks to hurt me,
Whether they are far or near to me,
Whether they are known or unknown to me,
Whether they are strong or weak,
Whether they are human or otherwise,
Whether there are many who hate me or just a few.

I bind to myself today
I call on the whole of God and all that is good,
Against the worst of the world… the terrorists and the imperialists, the criminals and the con-men, the haters and the envious, those who seek to confuse me and lead me from the community of God, my own greed and insecurities.

Christ, protect me today
Protect me from all dangers on my journey and draw me to your heart

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in my home, Christ on my journey,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I bind to myself today
To the promise and gift that I am free to call on the complete God, for God is both the nature and bringer of community and harmony… the creator of everything.

From Safe Space

Holy is your pain. Holy is your loss. Holy is your
suffering. Holy because you belong to Holiness.

God's tears roll down your cheeks, aching to join your own
in consolation. Let them fall into each other and know that                         
God has tumbled into your

Holy pain, Holy loss, Holy Suffering...                                                                     
to grieve with you.

Technorati Tags: Grief, Parenting

//

We remember God, falling to earth as a seed, to live in our dirt, to suffer our pain, to understand our weakness, and to die and be buried. We struggle to understand life beyond death. We live as though immortal, and though death surrounds us on every side, we do not often confront it. In this communion, we remember God who died, and we hold the mystery of this death as comfort for our fear, pain and mortality.

[Call]
As we prepare to accept these symbols of God's death, we remember:
Those who have died
Those who mourn
Those who face death

[Response]
But if it dies, it produces many seeds

[Call]
As we prepare to accept these symbols of God's death, we acknowledge:
Our fear of death
Our deadness of spirit
Our frailty and mortality

[Response]
But if it dies, it produces many seeds

[Call]
As we meditate on these mysterious symbols of life beyond death, help us:
To live with uncertainty
To hold on to the world lightly
To comfort those who mourn

[Response]
But if it dies, it produces many seeds

Dismissal (after communion)

[Together]
Accept these symbols of life and death. May they lighten your spirit, enrich your life and give you peace. Amen.

Originally uploaded at vaux.net

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St Chad was born in cAD635, his calling was first as a student of St Aidan on Holy Island, before succeeding his brother as Abbot of Lastingham.  After the Council of Whitby Wilfrid was selected as Bishop of York, he travelled to France to be consecrated by Roman Bishops, this took so long that Chad was named Bishop of York in his absence.  Wilfrid eventually returned and Chad stepped down saying “I willingly resign the office, for I never thought myself worthy of it; but, though unworthy, in obedience submitted to undertake it.”  Later Chad became Bishop of Mercia at Lichfield… Bede described his ministry as following in the pattern of Aidan, travelling from town to town, preaching and praying zealously among the people he served.  He died in cAD672.  This Friday is St Chads Day.

We take a moment to embrace the lives of men and women who lived their lives as an act of worship and mission, who lived for God, who lived with God, who gave their lives for God and for Gods world. 

“Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life-and place it before God as an offering.” From Romans 12 – The Message

Walking, Running, Eating, Drinking, Sharing, Giving, Listening, Talking, Learning, Teaching, Encouraging, Challenging, Shouting, Crying, Holding on, Letting go, Fighting, Healing, Laughing, Grieving, Waiting, Acting, Being, Doing, Breaking, Mending, Living, Dying…
All of Me.

Walking, Running, Eating, Drinking, Sharing, Giving, Listening, Talking, Learning, Teaching, Encouraging, Challenging, Shouting, Crying, Holding on, Letting go, Fighting, Healing, Laughing, Grieving, Waiting, Acting, Being, Doing, Breaking, Mending, Living, Dying…
All for God.

Walking, Running, Eating, Drinking, Sharing, Giving, Listening, Talking, Learning, Teaching, Encouraging, Challenging, Shouting, Crying, Holding on, Letting go, Fighting, Healing, Laughing, Grieving, Waiting, Acting, Being, Doing, Breaking, Mending, Living, Dying…
All is Gods.

Walking, Running, Eating, Drinking, Sharing, Giving, Listening, Talking, Learning, Teaching, Encouraging, Challenging, Shouting, Crying, Holding on, Letting go, Fighting, Healing, Laughing, Grieving, Waiting, Acting, Being, Doing, Breaking, Mending, Living, Dying…
All is God.

“Offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to God, which is the spiritual way for you to worship.” From Romans 12 – New Century

Reflection
Chad spent time in learning,

What have you learned in the last year that has surprised you?

Chad was willing to take up the challenge.

What challenges have you had to grasp, though you did not feel ready?

Chad was willing to step down and allow another to lead.

What have you had to let go of which hurt but which has led you on to new ground?

May St Chad be an inspiratin, a role model and a guide for us… in the way we learn, on our willingness to go beyond our expectations and in having the humility to let go of our own pride for your sake.   May we be ready for the challenges set before us, knowing that it is you at work and we serve your purpose.

When you call
I am willing
When you push the boundaries
I am willing
When you set the pace
I am willing
When you encourage
I am willing
When you set the challenge
I am willing
When you blow my mind
I am willing
When you reach out your hand
I am willing
When you apply the brakes
I am willing
When you change the course
I am willing
When you turn the tide
I am willing
When you pull the plug
I am willing
When you call another
I am willing
When you call
I am willing

1 Thessalonians 2:1-13

Great God,
from the very first fruits of the English nation
who turned to follow Christ, you called Chad
to mission amongst and the nurture of his own people:
give us grace to mirror his peaceful nature,
his humble spirit and prayerful life,
that our lives may sing songs of your love,
that our words and deeds might truly reflect your passion and compassion;
In the name of Jesus, the God-Man who died, rose and lives on for us,
the Spirit who moves across the surface the waters and in the beating of the human heart,
and of the Creator and re-Creator, God of grace.

From Telford Missional Community

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Heavenly Father, we are sinners.  From Adam’s choice in the garden to some of the very choices we made today, we have chosen sin.  Our sin has hidden You from us, and we walk in darkness completely.

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

Father, help us to see our sin; help us to escape this darkness and walk in the light that is your Son, Jesus.

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

Heavenly Father, even though we are forgiven, we wear these blindfolds to remind us of our sins and the sins of our world.  People surround us who remain spiritually blind and unaware.  We ask that your Spirit would continue to help us preach your good news to those who walk in darkness.

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

Heavenly Father, we acknowledge that even as people who follow the teachings of Jesus we still fall short of your glory.  We confess that our spirits are strong, but our flesh is weak and like St. Paul, we do what we do not want to do and do not do what we should.  Father, help us to continue to seek after you, leaving behind the old flesh, and putting on the new.

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

Heavenly Father, we pray for the dark world that surrounds us.  The famine, the war, the disease, the pain, the sorrow, the evil; Father we pray against all these things that are a result of our sin.  Help us Father, to continue to bring your kingdom to the peoples of the earth, to walk in forgiveness, and to be living sacrifices of your freedom. 

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

And Father, we pray that you would help us to see as you see.

Lord, in your mercy

Hear our prayer

It’s a time when Christ considered what form his ministry was going to take.
It can also be a time for us to consider what form our Christian witness might take too.

The first temptation was to turn stones into bread.
The people were hungry – what better way to win them over than to meet their physical needs? Jesus’ rejection of this temptation is a rejection of the idea that true love can be bought. Giving people bread might make them follow him, but for what reasons?

The second temptation was to jump from the Temple.
We live in a society in love with spectacle. People can be won over with tricks and fantastica. Jesus’ rejection of this temptation is a rejection of the idea of celebrity. Doing tricks might amaze people, but was that love?

The third temptation was to give up.
We live in a world where persistence and tenacity are rare qualities, especially in the face of peer opposition. Marcuse outlines how pressures from our peers, from our own insecurities, and from the dominant power structures draw us towards ‘one dimensionality’: truth by big brother vote. Jesus’ refusal to bow down and just ‘take the money’ is a rejection of the easy way out. It might make for an easy life, but was that what life was about?

These Lenten prayers could be used as a daily rhythm over these 40 or so days.

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Prayer in the Morning:
God who refused to stone-grind flour, who had the wealth to buy all love,
I/we thank you for all I/we have as I/we break-fast this morning.
I/we will have power to impress people today.
May I/we not inflate beyond what is true.
I/we will be open to impressions today.
May I/we have a clear mind for this truth:
That true love cannot be bought or sold.
May I/we neither buy, nor sell,
But only generously give and receive.

Prayer at Lunchtime / After work:
God who refused to jump, who could have called on angels and lightening,
but refused,
solidify my/our candy-floss faith.
Among the glitz and glamour, the faux-celebrity clamour,
sneak in, come alongside and, though we see only through a glass darkly,
remove our shades, and let us meet the eyes of the other.

Prayer in the Evening:
God who refused to bow, who came on down, but refused the cash prizes,
God of infinite dimensions, inhabit all three of mine/ours:
To love you, to love my/our neighbours and to love my self.
May I/we give up on nothing,
save giving up my/our lives,
as you gave up yours.
Thank you.

Bringing to Consciousness the Divide of the Individual: Part 1

Where is your life divided?

I'm divided by what my soul longs for and what is shaped by my hands.

Where is your desire incomplete?

Today, like every other day, I woke up wanting what is beyond my reach.

Where has your story been scattered?

Its form is dictated by my rushing to pick up the pieces, trying to make sense of what is futile.

Where has your journey become disconnected?

Technorati Tags: Life Divided, Life United, Tillich

My compulsion to possess leads me to places of emptiness, the wastelands of my discarded overspill.

Where is your life divided?

I act on impulse when it ’s my nature to believe deeply.

Where is your desire incomplete?

My lack of hope leaves my spirit trailing behind me in my wake of sad energy.

Where has your story been scattered?

I create truth in the shadows and spill dishonest words into the daylight.

Where has your journey been disconnected?

I may look continuous, but inside I am broken.

Where has your life been divided?

They say that survival depends on keeping body and soul together.
To my mind that suggests I could be dead.
My hands are worn with sewing patches on old clothing
It's time I ceased this seamstress work

Bringing to Consciousness the Divide of the Individual: Part 2

[One Voice]

On Monday I ordered a book on ethical shopping from a website and ended up buying a ready-made meal in Tesco's because I had no time to cook.

On Tuesday I had to stay late to make up for the day before, rushed like a maniac to my yoga class, missed the start and spent the whole session thinking stressful thoughts about relationships, or the lack of them.

On Wednesday I drove through the rush-hour central London traffic to attend a lecture on urban eco-theology. Cursed other drivers all the way there. Smoked all the way back.

On Thursday I went late-night shopping. Spent ages searching for the perfect item, seen in the latest New Vision magazine. Came away with a giant bagload of bargains from GAP and a rucksack full of the latest sounds.

On Friday I met up with friends. We talked in depth about the need to connect but the conversation was interrupted every 5 minutes by people's mobiles. That's fine - we had plans to make for the weekend, but I felt frustrated.

On Saturday I endeavoured to write more than one sentence, to try and explain to myself why I've lost track of where my path links up with the world around me. But I couldn't find any reasons. Also started reading new ethical shopping book I bought on Monday, and cycled into town to take clothes I bought on Tuesday back to GAP.

On Sunday I came here. It's the beginning of the week again and I'm hoping to make some connections.

Let us move from a life divided to a life united.

Let us pray dear Lord that he helps us move from a life divided to a life united.

From The Vaux Archive

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This is the piece of liturgy we're going to share tomorrow night.

Saint Valentine is a bit of a myth. The day came about because the 14th of Feb - Saint Valentine's day - was also the traditional day in Spring when birds chose their mates. As Chaucer put it in his piece 'The Parliament of Foules':

For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.

So the liturgy is not directly about love, but takes a quick journey through avine metaphors in the Bible... The spirit hovering over the water, the dove sent out by noah, the 'wild goose' of the Spirit, the dove settling on Christ, the assurance of the Father's love even for the birds... All ending with us eating

'these breadcrumbs, this bird-food, as a sign of our love,
this wine, your blood, as a memory of yours.'

As ever, feel free to share, and use with imagination.

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Technorati Tags: Chaucer, Chaucer, Parliament, Wild Goose, Valentine's

The earth is one, though it is made of many parts;
And though its parts are many, they form one earth.
So it is with Christ.

We were all born to one earth, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free, and were all given the one earth to use.

Now the earth is not made up of one part, but many.
If the valleys should say, "Because I am not a mountain, I do not belong to the earth." it would not for that reason cease to be part of the earth.

And if the soil should say, "Because I am not stone, I do not belong to the earth." it would not for that reason cease to be part of the earth.

If the whole earth were stone, how would plants grow? And if the whole earth were soil, where would solidity be?

But in fact, God has arranged the parts of the earth just as they were meant to be. If they were all one part, where would the earth be? As it is, there are many parts, but one earth.

Humanity cannot say to the forests, "I don't need you." And the city cannot say to the ocean, "I don't need you."

On the contrary, those parts of the earth that are dirt, are indispensable, and those that are alien, we should respect.

God has summed the parts to make a greater whole,
so that there should be no selfish abuse,
no extinction,
no polluting,
no exhaustion of resources
no genetic modification
no contamination
no food mountain
no battery meat
no vivisection
no enforced relocation
no germ warfare
no Agent Orange

The earth is one,
though it is made up of many parts;

So it is with Christ.
As we are part of the earth, we are part of the body of Christ.

If we crucify the earth, We re-crucify Christ.

We share the body of Christ
Committing to turn outside ourselves for strength.
Acknowledging our interdependence with the earth.

We share the blood of Christ
Committing to share in Christ's sacrificial nature.
Acknowledging our hand in destroying our environment.

Originally archived at http://www.vaux.net

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Technorati Tags: Environment, Earth

It is based around some thoughts I had on an alternative reading of the Judas narrative. What if Judas had actually thought he was doing Jesus a favour? What if he, just like the other disciples, had got it all wrong, and though Jesus needed a helping hand to catalyse his military coup? This would obviously explain the kiss a little better...

At communion we are offered a piece of bread. Just as Judas was. Often we are about to go out 'into the night', just as he was. So what are we going to do with these gifts of bread and wine? Be like Judas and try to co-opt Jesus into our own revolutions, or be like Christ and walk the way of sacrifice?

The longer text towards the end of the piece is taken from the final chapter in my book Signs of Emergence, or The Complex Christ in the UK.

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Bread and wine is shared, and a meal is eaten.

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