Mike’s E-Mail: mpanlok@gmail.com

Mike’s MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/nineironmusic

Mike’ Phone Number: (716)-316-8662

IM (Yahoo and AOL)- thewineguy26

His IM: thewineguy26

Also I feel it is my duty to inform the women of Craigslist in the two cities he is posting that this guy isn’t right for them. Here is the post I put up last night:

Warning: Mike (716)-316-8662 Could Be a Rapist

Just wanted to give you a heads up about Mike. He has been posting ads around Buffalo and Rochester trying to get some “action”. The thing is Mike stole the ad he is posting from the profile of a blogger and is using pictures that aren’t his own. He is using military photos in an attempt to garner some sympathy sex or go after the “guys in uniform are hot” demographic. (Future pictures of him posing as a fireman and a policeman are probably pending.)

So right off the bat ladies you know that Mike is not only unoriginal but a tad sleazy as well. I have my theories on why he like this.

1) Mike is a serial killer looking to make flesh “woman” suits out of the women he abducts because he is too poor to afford the gender reassignment surgery he desperately wants.

2) Mike is kind of an overweight loser that has an odd obsession with the Goo Goo Dolls. (He may strangle himself while masturbating to pictures of Robby Takac… he is so sad he has fantasies about the ugly band member.) After not getting laid when trying to play the “artistic guy” card while strumming his guitar with a goatee he grew desperate and tried to pretend he had wit.

3) Mike voted for Bush twice, he hates puppies, thinks rainbows are overrated, burns books, hangs outside of schools to ogle the “fresh talent”, takes camera phone pics of women bending over, potentially owns a lot of Ed Hardy and Affliction shirts, sniffs glue, thinks TGIFridays is a high class meal, and his ultimate goal in life is to dress like Mike Dikta on Halloween, get told that it is an outdated costume, and then burn everyone alive at the Halloween party. (That last thing may have already happened and could be the reason why he has moved to Western New York.)

This is the e-mail that Mike uses on here: mpanlok@gmail.com

Ladies seriously think twice about interacting with a thief and a fake.

If I get any e-mail responses about this I will make sure to share.

What are you all going to write/say to Mike?

On Monday night a girl who I used to date in Buffalo told me that she came across a personal ad on Craigslist that was a rip off of my about me section or more specifically the one I modeled for my “dating experiment”.

I thought she saw something that was probably similar to that profile, when I finally had time to check I saw that he pretty much lifted the entire thing filling out some information about himself. He posted it on both the Rochester, NY Craigslist and on the Buffalo, Ny one as well. Since the ads will eventually time out here is a copy, I highlighted the things he copied from me and tossed in some comments.)

I would like to think that I am not a very complicated person but after reflecting on what to write here I have discovered that I am a train wreck. Damn these profiles! Instead of sitting here and writing a really long and boring story about my life I decided to just give you a bunch of random facts about me:

Since I have been brave enough to share my picture with you be sure to include one of yourself in your reply !

-My name is Mike, but for some reason my whole family calls me Mikey which drives my absolutely crazy

-I am 28 years old, but when the alarm clock goes off in the morning I feel like I’m 50 !! (not a morning person)

-My dad always used to tell me most people always spend as much as they make…man was he right.

-I can’t snap or whistle but I can blow a mean double bubble.

-I can roll my tongue but can’t cross my eyes but I wish it were the other way around.

-My sister and I were born on the same day three years apart, which I still think is the worst birthday present I ever received. (Really? He couldn’t even take this out, you would think someone would call him on this. How does he cover this?)

-I have scored a basket in basketball, a goal in both hockey and soccer but have never hit a home run in baseball during a game (bar league softball does not count)

-I started out going to college at the second largest concrete structure in the world (the pentagon is first and SUNY Albany is second, if that doesn’t turn you on well you are out of luck) (He did go to SUNY Albany class of 2007, I found it on his MySpace profile… oh we will get into his personal information a bit later.)

-Reading the Snapple fact of the day from the cap of a bottle of Snapple makes me happy.

-I believe the little things in life are the most important.

-The number one thing that attracts me to a girl is her smile

-I can nail just about any movie quote. Proving once and for all that I know everything about nothing.

-One time I tried out for Jeopardy and doing so actually proved that I don’t know everything about nothing so ignore that last statement. (Obviously he isn’t smart enough to try out for Jeopardy, he couldn’t even lift a profile right.)

-I work out at the gym 3 times a week, but then come home and usually consume more calories than I burned

-I think I am solid poker player or at least I like to think I am

-There is nothing better when your girlfriend leaves your apartment but it still smells like her

-I have received many gifts from friends & loved ones throughout my lifetime, but to this day my favorite is still a homemade birthday card a secret admirerl gave me in ninth grade.

-One time I fell down a flight of stairs in the middle of a lecture center while coming in late to a class in college. (It feels like the Seinfeld Episode where Kramer sold all his stories to J Peterman.)

-I played in a band for several years during college and can sing & play guitar fairly well…at least that’s what my mom tells me

-I watched 27 dresses last week and actually liked it…however you will never catch me admitting that in person

-My two favorite possessions are my plasma TV and my MR T. bobblehead

-I love to travel. I have been to Punt Cana, Domincan Republic…even Japan, but my favorite destination is the Subway Sandwich Shop on the corner of my street (Obviously if you look at his pictures you can determine he isn’t on the same diet as Jared)

-I can usually tell in the first 60 seconds if I have chemistry with someone, which is most likely why I am still single (Oh I can think of plenty more reasons why you are single and if I have anything to do with it we are going to keep it that way.)

-Fox News is evil. American Idol is rigged….and The Hills should be cancelled

If you’ve made it this far, then you might as well take another small step and drop me an email or instant message and we can see where things go.
A few photographs of yourself along with a some fun facts in your reply would be much appreciated.

Mike

Mike also included some pictures of himself in the military (which he isn’t in) of course when I found his MySpace profile all the pictures were different.

Fake Mike

Mike ripped off not only an entire profile but pictures as well. That is kind of sad. Here is what Mike really looks like.

Fat real mike.

So Mike is obviously a pretty big fake ass douche that is using my content in an attempt to get laid. (And I can tell you from personal experience my content does not get anyone laid.) I e-mailed Mike and told him it wasn’t cool that he ganked my shit and asked him to take it down… He ignored me.

Now that the fair warning is over it is time to fuck with him.

Tomorrow: I get my revenge

Silverman fired back on Twitter, where she has close to half a million followers, and then the former AOL CEO jumped in and went after Silverman who tossed this back at him:

“@SteveCase You should be nicer to the last person on earth w an aol account.”

What I don’t get is didn’t they know what they were getting? Have they never seen one of her acts? She is absolutely filthy. (And beautifully so.) And why would egg this person on publically when tossing insults is what they do for a living? In the end how are you going to come out ahead?

This reminds me of the Colbert performance at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. How did the person that books the event not know whom they were booking?

So this begs the question should the company that books the person know what they are getting into? Or should the person booked play to the audience and change their act?

What do you think?

First there was the Kevin Smith meltdown on Twitter after getting booted from a Southwest Airlines flight because the pilot felt he was too heavy and posed a safety risk. (Southwest asks for bigger people to purchase two tickets. Although Smith can fit in one seat and routinely travels that way.)

Smith’s main bone of contention was that he was already seated, he had flown to Oakland on one ticket, and that they could have not let him onto the flight ahead of time. Of course Smith took to Twitter, where he has 1.2 million followers, and started destroying Southwest. Including this tweet, which might be my favorite:

Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.

Southwest has a really active social media presence and they of course responded via Twitter and their blog, doing everything they could to get ahead of the situation. On the flip side if it were another fat person with 100 followers they wouldn’t be doing the same thing. But that is how it goes in this day and age; I mean it explains why a mommy blogger who bitched about her washing machine got a free one and better customer service than any of us would ever see.

So is Kevin Smith a Rosa Parks for fat people? Or a celebrity that has a bigger platform to bitch than the rest of us?

Situations like these intrigue me because I wonder how “in the right” the person bitching is and if they are taking a stand that all of us can appreciate? Or are they using their position and popularity to bitch about a perceived slight.

What do you think?

A few months ago when I was seeing U2 for the first time in my life, a concert that I had been waiting to go to since I was 15, I sat there and felt zero excitement. They had a grandiose stage, I was with a date, I had beer, and the music was good but I was just… meh. It worried me that I didn’t give a shit.

Also around the same time frame I was going through and fixing old posts on this very blog and noticed how I used to be so much more jovial and even if I didn’t like something I poked fun at it in a more lighthearted and non bitter way. (This is one of the reasons that you have seen a decline in the amount I have been posting.)

In looking at my life I am more professionally accomplished than I have ever been. I am making more money than I ever have. My dating and love life is fine. And really by all accounts everything is fine, except for some reason I have become a negative and miserable human being. It got to the point where I wasn’t enjoying anything on any level. It has been pretty scary.

For a few months I wondered if I should go someone, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Maybe I was suffering from depression or maybe there were other things causing this. The thing is it wasn’t like I was sleeping a ton or really withdrawing or anything. I didn’t fit most of the signs of depression. So I decided to evaluate my life and what was going on.

I noticed that I was being bombarded consistently with negativity. Not in some metaphysical, new age, or hippie type of way but whom and what I was surrounding myself with was doing it. I have decided to make some changes to see if it improves my overall demeanor.

1) No more sports talk radio- I listen to music while I work from home most of the time. When I get in the car I listen to sports talk radio to change things up. The problem with sports talk radio is that it is pretty over the top, the highs are high and the lows are low. But Boston sports talk radio is just completely off the charts with negativity. If you were stranded on a desert island for the last ten years and came back to the US and turned on sports talk radio here in Boston you would think that every single one of their teams sucked. Not that they have won three Super Bowls, 2 World Series, and a NBA Championship over the last ten years.

I don’t gain anything from listening to this: no magic insight, I don’t care about the teams around here, and it isn’t like I am learning anything.

2) I am going to become apathetic when it comes to politics- Will I vote still? Yes. But watching any cable news shows or absorbing any of the ridiculousness that passes for political discourse is over. The system and the people in it are broken. (Both sides) And the discourse and debate around politics have turned into a ridiculous PR battle with zero substance. Cable news doesn’t cut through the bullshit of it they just encourage it.

The most news I will watch will be the nightly news or the BBC world news. (At best.) I will no longer tune into a cable news show. Also I am not going to debate politics on FB or Twitter. In fact I am just going to hide people that say ignorant things and not attempt to engage in a debate with them.

3) Enjoy Life- Do things that I want to do. I don’t need to consistently work.

Okay I had to get that off my chest.

25. Lamb of God – As the Palaces Burn (2003)

24. Radiohead – In Rainbows (2008)

23. Keane – Under the Iron Sea (2006)

22. Katatonia – The Great Cold Distance (2006)

21. The Faint – Danse Macabre (2001)

20. Coldplay – Viva La Vida (2008)

19. VAST – Nude (2004)

18. The Shins – Wincing the Night Away (2007)

17.  Arcade Fire – Neon Bible (2007)

16. Stereophonics – Just Enough Education to Perform (2001)

15. Eminem – The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)

14. The Shins – Chutes too Narrow (2003)

13. The Faint – Wet from Birth (2004)

12. The Darkness – Permission to Land (2003)

11. Eminem – The Relapse (2009)

10. Coldplay – A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002)

9. Opeth – Blackwater Park (2001)

8. VAST – Music for People (2000)

7. Opeth – Ghost Reveries (2005)

6. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend (2008)

5. Kings of Leon – Aha Shake Heartbreak (2005)

4. Muse – Absolution (2003)

3. The Strokes – Is This It (2001)

2. Katatonia – Viva Emptiness (2003)

1. Silverchair – Diorama (2002)

“Ladies and gentlemen…put your hands together for the lovely and talented…Kesha…”

No, really. I need some closure on this one. Because I don’t know what the fuck is the moving force behind the popularity surrounding Ke$ha.

Who is she? Where did she come from? Why does she sound like the stereotypical punk bitch fucking asshat that I used to mock in school for trying to be Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes despite the fact that her skin pigmentation is more Abigail Breslin? Who the fuck WANTS a guy that looks like Mick Jagger and why would she brush her teeth with Jack Daniels? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHICK DOING ON MY RADAR? The answers must lie inside, which I’ll lay out here for you.

1. She is really an African-American albino female from the wicked streets of Brooklyn that got a lucky break after blowing Nasir Jones (aka Nas, aka “Represent punk ass bitches!”) in a New York (not sandwich shop) subway bathroom.

They exist right? Black albino’s? I mean, they have to. It is the only reason that I will accept behind her trying to sound like Monique on a “Sign of the Beefcarver” buffet bender. I’m not saying that this is how all, if any, African American women get their entertainment gigs, but Ke$ha has absolutely zero talent, in fact she probably blows at sucking cock, too, because “that be sick yo!” yet it’s the only possible explanation, right?

2. She is one of those princess-y white girls from Shermer, Illinois that got lucky singing karaoke in front of Nasir Jones, (aka Nas, aka “Hip Hop Is Dead”).

In my high school, we had a delectable cross section of Blacks, Honkies, Asians, two Puerto Ricans, maybe a Mexican and a dude that was a chick or vice versa, who fucking knows. All I know is this: we had quite a few rich folks at this school. And there was always a collection of girls that were handed everything and never worked a day in their life because daddy had some issues stemming from getting caught fucking a one-legged prostitute on Woodward Ave…or some shit. We’ve seen this act before, right?

But yet these chicks always thought they had talent, so we’d have talent shows and they’d be up there frantically acting like assholes to “En Vogue” because, well, that was what was popular so fuck off. Now, I imagine that problem is extrapolated big time today because girls growing up have to look up to the likes of Miley Cyrus and the rest of the Disney whore-store to set unrealistic expectations when it comes to “talent” and “ability” and “gettin’ paid”. Take the two or three girls I knew of in the mid-90’s and in today’s numbers that’s easily what? One million trollops thinking they’re the shit. Ke$ha just stuck I guess. It also explains why she has a FUCKING DOLLAR SIGN IN HER NAME!!! How clever…idiot.

3. She’s a Robot manufactured in China as a way to diminish the American populations intelligence quotient below 30 in an attempt to take over America and set up “Wong’s Golden Shower Buffet’s” on every street corner, and this robot happened to be purchased by Nasir Jones, (aka Nas, aka “Big Money! Oogie Oogie Oogie”)

Mmmm…Chinese food. Man I love cats. That General Tso is a fucking genius.

I didn't know General Tso was a chick

Also, I fear I may have upset the large African-American readership of this site with my actually linking Ke$ha with their race. Especially during Black History month. My sincerest apologies. If it makes you feel any better, I have lots of black friends. That one always works, right?

So, what do you think? Can you tell I’m a Nas fan? Please tell me why this woman is popular. Because I’m now grasping at straws trying to figure out how and why and…who am I kidding, I’d still do her. Chinese food anyone?

Last night they held the reunion show, which I saved on my DVR. (BTW, saw like four minutes of it. Who the hell put on their makeup? It looks like their face was blasted by the clown makeup gun.) Before I sit down and watch it I want to put on my judgmental prick hat and make some fearless predictions for the future of these girls.

Maci

The big news from this season for Maci was that she was splitting up with her boyfriend/baby daddy Ryan. These two absolutely despise each other and tried to gut it out for “the sake of their child” but it isn’t happening. Now Maci faces an unknown future while watching all her friends go away to school and her dreams getting crushed.

Prediction: Out of all the girls on the show Maci will be fine. I could cite her motivation and drive, which she has, but in reality it comes down to one thing… her parents have money and are supportive. Money doesn’t buy happiness but it sure as shit provides a way to bail your daughter out of a costly mistake that could have haunted her for the rest of her life. I think she will live a fairly solid life and stay off the pole.

Farrah

Probably the least likable person on the show in my opinion, Farrah lives with her parents and attempts to continue to lead the same life she did before getting knocked up. With no baby daddy in the picture she relies on and shits all over her parents. She is currently in Junior College for some restaurant management bullshit and slaves at Buffalo Wild Wings instead of getting a real job that has more consistent pay. But at least it allows for her to go out and meet boooyyyzzzzz.

Prediction: Allegedly Farrah is dating Pauly D from the Jersey Shore. (Although I don’t see how that is possible.) She is the most likely to pose for Playboy or do anything remotely possible to stay in the spotlight. Her mom got arrested for kicking the crap out of her after their 1,459,988^th fight but honestly she probably deserved it on some level. She is the type of person that will skate through life never knowing the repercussions of anything she does and using people to get what she wants. She will be stripping within five years. (I guess all that time in high school cheerleading will pay off.)

Catelynn

Catelynn and her string bean boyfriend gave up their child for adoption when the evaluated the odds that their daughter’s life would be absolutely horrific because both families they come from are walking definitions of white trash. She is probably one of the more sympathetic people on the show because she did the right thing by giving the kid up for adoption. Also a tragic figure because she really already has two strikes against her in the game of life (poor + shitty family). The third strike came when her boyfriend proposed to her on the season finale and she said yes.

Prediction: You see a life of tragedy laid out ahead of these people. First of all she needs to break away from the kid she gave up for adoption, she got a tattoo of her daughter’s name and footprint that she gave up for adoption. Ugh, so classy and a really dumb permanent reminder, yet a good conversation starter for the entire rest of your life. Combine that with her getting engaged at 17, which is a divorce waiting to happen. Poor intelligence, poor family history, and just living in a messed up situation Catelynn at best can dream of managing a fast food restaurant someday and hoping her home doesn’t get wiped out by a twister again. She isn’t cute enough to strip and take the Farrah path. The sad thing is she is probably the most sympathetic person on the show and overall has a really good spirit.

Amber

Amber was a “party girl” that dropped out of high school and got knocked up. She along with her babby daddy Gary has fueled the concept of “fat people are worthless and lazy”. These two are the least likeable couple of the show and Gary is a few notches below Farrah as the least likeable person on the show, while he does work a lot to support his kid he also does nothing in the way of childcare when he is home. With no support from her parents, no ability to pay childcare, and really no ability to work Amber lives off of government assistant and is allegedly preparing for her GED. (Which she has been preparing for like two years.)

Prediction: Not too much different from Catelynn’s future except for mixing in early onset diabetes. Also you really don’t feel sorry for these two as much as Catelynn because they come off as completely horrible people that fight in front of their child constantly. The thing is this is what the show should have been about with them as the model couple. Not Farrah or Maci who have some parental support and money. After the show is done they have a life of poverty sitting in front of them.

Holy crap I just wrote the least funny and most judgmental blogpost of my entire life. A 1000 word diatribe, oh well… this is a day when comments need to save me.

So what did you think of Teen Mom on MTV?

Is this her "O" face? Awesome.

We all know what awards shows are. They’re a way for the entertainment industry to essentially remove ribs from each other so that after the general population is done blowing them, they can fold themselves over like garment bags and hum on their own parts. Well, that and it gives those red carpet fucks jobs for a night or two of the year.

I’ll admit that for the first time in years I actually stooped to watch this happy horse shit called “The Grammy’s”. I mean, for all intents and purposes, the music industry today sucks worse than a Vietnamese 12 year old on Gary Glitter.

Yet, every year, we the people glorify/suck up (depending on which side of the fence you’re on) to the Grammy’s, probably in the hopes that someone like Katy Perry will have a wardrobe malfunction, show her beautiful cans on national TV and give me yet another 72 hours of wonderful whacking material.

Instead, we got to witness these five things (at minimum) that can be whisked away forever as far as I’m concerned. Then, after this article, we can put this fat pig known as the 2010 Grammy’s to bed, eh?

1. What’s with all the fat white girls dancing?

The music industry is such a cross-section of the world racially, with my example being  hip-hop artists appealing to everyone from white Detroit suburbanites to Malaysian kids sewing Nike’s for two cents a day, it was difficult to see such a cross-section when the only people in the damn crowd were fat white girls “WOO HOO”-ing with their digital cameras and waving around like fucking ruh-tards. Heads up for another 10,000 duck-face Facebook photos. Seriously…were black people not allowed into the Staples Center at all last night if they weren’t connected somehow to music? It was markedly noticable there were none which led me to wondering who was working the ticket booth/gate at that dump…David Duke? Grammy’s, really, I don’t know if you know this yet, being all hugged up with each other in The Hills, but, black people not only exist, they represent a very large audience of pop music culture. How about mixing it up a bit with the ticket allotment, capisce?

2. Amy Winehouse

Oh, shit. She wasn’t there this year was she? Haha! My prediction came true! I knew she would fade away after she was figuratively crotch licked two years ago. Haha! Cool. What was her time of death…anyone?

3. Michael Jackson Tributes

I knew it was coming up and I knew it would be fucking pathetic, and it gets a pass from me because this is the Grammy’s after the pedophile died, and I switched over to the Pro Bowl anyway. But I swear to all that is holy, if the Academy Awards decides to come up with a tribute to Michael Jackson for his whatever horseshit for the making of Captain Fucking Eo, I will put a handful of bottle rockets into my neighbors tiny yapping dogs ass, light it and sing George Michael’s “Freedom 90″ buck naked in the snow.

4. Snooki

Why was this wiffle pig even allowed anywhere within 50 miles of this event? What the hell is she famous for other than getting clocked and knocked out by some doucher in a bar on “Jersey Shore”?

Wait…if the Grammy’s could’ve found a way to have Chris Brown knock her ass out to Dave Chappelle’s “Piss on You”, that would be the only reason to allow her in. As it was, that didn’t happen. She does realize that she looks like she’s about to pop like a really fucking nasty, fat jelly donut, right?

5. Taylor Swift

As Finstock would say on here, everything about this chick sparkles, including her vagina, which I’m sure is untouched by anything other than a sanitary napkin. Wait, she doesn’t need sanitary napkins, because her vagina only secretes maple syrup and fine wine. I have to say, however, and I may be way out of line to the people who actually like her music, but…she doesn’t sing well. She plays guitar like my 6 year old plays Guitar Hero and, well, why exactly is she winning all these awards again? And what is going to happen to her when some dude (probably some half a fag Jonas Brother) nails her? Will she turn into Britney Spears? Lord, I hope so. Time to slut it up toots…then come back.

What else can the Grammy’s do without next time around, since clearly the actual entertainment this year was gone.

Lady Gaga- Some people describe her as fashion forward. Some people describe her as a fashion train wreck. Others will describe her as a dude hiding their cock. Personally I think she is a new age guido with too much money. Instead of putting tacky statues of the Virgin Mary in her front lawn she dresses like this. Do we have a consensus if she is ugly or decent looking yet?

Khloe Karashian Britney Spears- At one point in your life you oozed sexuality now ooze chocolate, Marlboro Lights, and Carl’s Jr.

Taylor Swift- Everything sparkles with Taylor Swift… E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. (Including her vagina which is filled with gold, diamonds, and unicorn tear drops.)

Adam Lambert- Every time we someone from American Idol in public the terrorists win or Simon Cowell. I guess technically they are interchangeable.

Jennifer Hudson- I have made plenty of fat jokes at Jennifer Hudson’s expense on the Pop Crunch Show and in my blog. She looks good here, although I am sure she is wearing a girdle that took at least three hours to put on.

Wyclef- Did he leave the matching shoes for this outfit in Haiti?

Ke$ha- Wow another uber slutty blonde girl who the music industry can use for a few years and spit out. You may want to look at picture number two of this post to gaze into your future. Also you don’t know how much it pained me to actually have to put that dollar sign in her name, it is way fucking stupid. One of the biggest examples of why the music industry has completely sucked over the last five years.

LMFAO- I stand corrected, strike that previous sentence under Ke$ha. Their music is horrible, they are annoying, why the hell are they around? Oh… one of them is the son of Motown Records founder Barry Gordy and the other is his nephew. Fucking nepotism.

Nicole Kidman- She looks like a Pez dispenser. Her head isn’t in proportion with her anorexic body. This is completely fantastic, I want to crack her head back and see if I can grab an orange flavored piece of sugar.

The Situation- If you took the fashion of Silvio Dante from the Sopranos and combined it with Sonny Crockett from Miami Vice you would get this. Mike you know that you can take your pants to a place called a tailor and they can make them look like they fit. I guess that isn’t part of G.T.L. These kids travel in packs where there is one there is usually….

Snooki- I could make a miniature Barney reference, I could criticize the shoes, and I could even make a few Jersey jokes. But when I saw this the first thing that came to my mind is, “Where is the poof?” Snooki, never lose the poof… ever. (that is the only way we can spot you in a crowd)

Gaga hot or not? Did anyone actually watch the award show? Has Taylor Swift gotten banged yet?