It may seem odd for a Pagan to pay tribute to someone who considered faith a personal weakness and religion a social malady. It is perhaps also unusual for a princess to pay tribute to this man, who was a vocal anti-monarchist.* I disagreed with Hitch, as he was known by his fans, on many points. But I found him provocative, informed, and honest. And drunk…he was often lit in public, but in a clever Ron White (with a British accent) sort of way, not a downward-spiral Charlie Sheen (with any accent) sort of way. Most importantly, Christopher Hitchens was a constant champion of human rights and independent thought, an admirable trait for any public figure. He was one of the Four Horsemen of New Atheism, leaders who took atheism from an “absence of faith” stance to a “presence of reason” mantra.

“What the New Atheists share is a belief that religion should not simply be tolerated but should be countered, criticized and exposed by rational argument wherever its influence arises.”– The rise of the ‘New Atheists’ 2006

By all accounts, if Christopher Hitchens were to have met me, he would have scoffed at my spirituality and balked at my beliefs. Also, he would have argued fundamentally that I am not funny. He believed it was a biological imperative for men to have humor (to attract women), but there was no evolutionary cause for women to yuck it up — and so it wasn’t possible. I am so not joking — he really said (wrote) that. So why — as a practicing Pagan and a woman who (sometimes) thinks she’s funny — do I dig Hitch? I’m starting to wonder that myself.

Maybe I should back up a bit.

I came to Paganism by way of ambivalence → agnosticism → Wicca → ambivalence → Heathenry. I was never an atheist because there was always something deep down I couldn’t explain (still can’t) that pulls me towards the spiritual. All along this journey there were conversations with deeply religious people who tried to convince me I would forever be in the dark if I didn’t embrace their version of light. Sometimes these conversations were dispassionate and friendly. Other times, these conversations were highly emotional and ended with my companion filled with angst and genuine worry for my soul and with me filled with indignation and disappointment that I couldn’t articulate my position better. I felt like my companion(s) and I were completely demagnetized with one another when it came to the pull towards spirituality.

On this journey, there have also been conversations with deeply non-religious people. And as much as we disagreed on the topic of faith and its relationship to reason, I never left those conversations feeling judged, at least not in an “eternal damnation” sort of way. Strange as it sounds, I felt more of a magnetic pull towards these companions than towards people of faith. So, I have always lent my ear to atheist commentary – perhaps because I was seeking this old feeling of being challenged but not judged.

I did not find this feeling with Christopher Hitchens. He challenged me alright. But he judged me, too. But by the time I discovered Hitch, I was in a place where being judged for my faith didn’t rankle my feathers or muss my hair (or crown). I was in a place where I could listen to faith-oriented arguments (be they religious or non-religious) and cull value solely on my admiration for passionate, well-informed arguments that made me think critically about why I believe what I believe. I assign value to arguments that keep me honest in my faith, the motivations behind and the consequences of my faith-related choices. And on this, Christopher Hitchens delivered in spades.

He stood up to religious right fundamentalists and kicked the pants off of them in public debates (just ask the Oracle for “Christopher Hitchens debate” for a look see). [Here’s a brief video example. Warning: This will open with sound.] He called extremist religions out for what they are — dogma that legitimizes the marginalizing women’s rights, sexual freedom and the economic prospects of the poor and disempowered.** If you need an argument to defend equal (human) rights, policies that treat gays equally, or free speech you can look to Hitch. [Warning: These links are video links that will open with sound.] One of the things I admired most about Hitchens was that he wasn’t afraid to criticize any public or cherished figure, alive or not. Here is an example…and it’s a doozy.

“MT [Mother Teresa] was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God. She spent her life opposing the only known cure for poverty, which is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction.” – Christopher Hitchens 2003

I don’t know, maybe I still have a thing for “bad boys” but I find this kind of irreverence captivating, even exhilarating.*** To me, this is highly provocative, even vitriolic, but highly thought-provoking nonetheless. I know Mother Teresa did everything she could within the confines of her faith to alleviate suffering and promote health. I think Hitch’s point is that Mother Teresa limited her actions to the confines of her faith; that she did not advocate for women’s control over their fertility because that was not aligned with the Catholic church. There is a good deal of research that links family size to persistent poverty.☨ Does he sound like an asshat? Yes. Do you have any doubts about his opinion on the matter? No. Could he have been more diplomatic? Yes. Could he have been more clear? No.

The true value of this quote for me is not about Catholicism or what Mother Teresa did or didn’t do for the poor. The true value lies in Hitchens’ unabashed questioning of actions based on faith. I don’t want to lose that perspective in my own practice. I don’t ever want to value doctrine over the human condition. I chose Paganism as my spiritual compass, not as a written map for my decisions and actions.

I remain torn, though. Like I said, Hitch would pretty much call me an idiot and laugh at my lifestyle. But I don’t value his personal opinion of me or of my faith. I value his willingness to stand up to doctrine against a tide of complacency. I value his dedication to identifying injustice and pointing to the culprit no matter how uncomfortable it makes us. [Even if the culprit is me and my faith. Heck, especially if the culprit is me and my faith!] Obviously, this critical bravery is not unique to Hitchens or to atheists in general but can be found in people of almost any faith. It just so happens that atheists see faith as a “tide of complacency.” Obviously, I disagree with this view of faith. But I don’t fully dissent. with this view. I think it is very easy for people of faith to let go of reason in favor of doctrine. I don’t want to be one of those people. It’s not a very Pagan thing to do. And it’s not a very Princess thing to do. And I thank Christopher Hitchens for reminding me I need be a vigilant free thinker.

What do you think readers? Was Christopher Hitchens a beacon for free thought? Or a black hole of contempt? Do these things have to be mutually exclusive?

* But I see myself as a benign royal, so I don’t think Hitch would mind my regal leanings. Also, I am not a “real” princess — more a figurative head than a figure head, if you will.

** To be fair, Hitch did not see a difference between “extremist” religion and “not extremist” religion. As I understand it, he really just saw religion of any kind as a festering social wound.

*** I don’t. Have a thing for bad boys. Not for a long time.

☨This site (from the ABDI Institute) provides a good, evidenced-based overview of the relationship between poverty and family size.

+ Featured image, Christopher Hitchens in Las Vegas, 2007.

Feng Shui written in Chinese

A few months ago I read an article called Norwegian Feng Shui in which the author tied together her Norwegian roots and her interest in feng shui. I thought it was a pretty cool article. I’m not totally up on feng shui with its bagua and five elements (earth, fire, water, wood, metal) instead of Celtic four (earth, fire, wind, water), but I do know that a lot of it is about removing clutter.

Now, I’m not ascetic, and I’m never going to be one of those people whose home looks zen in its simplicity or austere in its denial of comforts. One of the things that attracted me to Paganism in the first place is its messy, zany, deeply unabashed joy in being alive and attaching ourselves to earthly things. We are encouraged to live it up while we’re here, to revel in being human. We believe in being responsible, but we see no sin in occasionally getting schnockered at a party, luxuriating in a decadent meal, falling in love with beautiful things, or having crazy, no-holds-barred sex. Like many other religions, we view our bodies are temples, but in Pagan temples it’s often okay pass peace pipes and host naked fire dancing. I think this is one of the things people see about us and misunderstand, assuming by our actions that we are hedonistic instead of earnestly spiritual and religious – but that’s not the case. We believe life is a present, and like children, we should enjoy all the gods have seen fit to create in this beautiful world. The gods want us to enjoy life without reservations, and you can’t do that without collecting a little junk and getting a little dirty.*

But the zen gurus of clutter clearing do have a good point when they say holding onto things that have lost their usefulness can keep us magically or psychologically stuck. There is a peace in letting go of the past by clearing our homes of physical clutter, and I recently found it very liberating.

A few years ago I was getting sick all the time, like vomiting after meals or cramping so badly and so suddenly in the middle of class that I bent in half and had to call a substitute teacher to take over for me (sorry if that’s TMI). Doctors told me that stress raises my cortisol levels and interferes with my digestive track, and they handed me a prescription for days on which stress is unavoidable. *squinchy face* Their advice of “Don’t get stressed out” is, IMO, one step away from useless, and I try to limit my drug use to caffeine and alcohol, so as far as I was concerned, the modern Western medical approach was a big fail. I started trying other things (a LOT of other things), and amidst much playing with my diet (and a trip to the acupuncturist), my husband and I realized giving up wheat went a long way towards fixing the problem.**

As any of you who’ve tried giving up wheat knows, it isn’t easy. In addition to the proliferation of wheat around us, I love baking. I baked different types and shapes of breads for most holidays (I had a sun-shaped caraway loaf that was my favorite for Yule) and was learning how to make different cakes, from genoise to panettone to sticky toffee pudding. I loved the feel of kneading dough, and I loved to watch as the chemistry of baking turns white powder and gel-like eggs into a moist and sponge-y treat. Saying good-bye to that pleasure of creating was harder than saying good-bye to eating it. I know there are recipes for gluten-free baking that some people have a lot of success with, and I’ve tried some of it… but to me it’s just not been the same. And if it’s not the same, I want a clean break. TheScott and I have taken to eating a modified Paleo style diet (modifications being we eat cheese because life without cheese is lacking, and we drink alcohol because… really? No alcohol? It’s all back to that “enjoy life” thing I was talking about earlier) and even in the modified state, we both feel we’ve seen a lot of benefits.

And yet up until a month ago, I still had all my baking supplies in my kitchen. They’d sat there for over a year, mocking me with their dust-covered pretty shapes. Just before Yule, I was reading a Feng Shui treatise about getting rid of physical items from our past as a way of moving forward into who we want to become. It talked about letting go as a way of making room for growth. I don’t fully understand the “flow of chi” the woman was talking about, but something in it still connected with me.

I can’t be a baker anymore. Even if I could magically go back to eating wheat, I don’t have the time. I have children to adopt and a book to write and a blog of The Realm to keep – and those things are all so much more important to who I am now than my old hobby of baking. So a few weeks ago I finally went through my cabinets and weeded out the bakeware until it looked like Williams and Sonoma had exploded on my kitchen floor. I let my friends pick through it. Then I, er, let it sit on the kitchen floor making a public nuisance until it was more annoying to leave it there than painful to let it go. This morning (the morning I wrote this, anyway), I finally took it all to Goodwill.

I feel really good. Better chi flow, I guess. And as a bonus, I now have cabinet room for the more recent purchases of a salad spinner and meat slicer, things we use regularly which have been cluttering up the counters.

What about you, Realm? Anybody have any feng shui stories or tips for me?

* This doesn’t mean everything is okay, more that we consider withholding joyful things for the sake of withholding them to be as much a waste of a life as someone who drinks him or herself into an early grave. There’s a balance between over-protectiveness and self-destructiveness that everyone needs to find.

** Contrary to the “gluten-free” idea sweeping the nation (and a good thing it is; celiac disease is a terrible problem!), my understanding is that people with my condition are usually affected by the fructans (a carbohydrate) in wheat not the gluten (a protein). Luckily, a gluten-free product is usually also a fructan-free product, so I can use that labeling anyway.

+ Featured Image: Luo Pan Compass by Traumrune

Do not fret at our being left off the final list for we are proud to decree another Heathen blog has made the cut! Drum roll, please…<cue snare>…The Norse Mythology Blog (TNMB) is one of the five final nominations for Best Religion or Spirituality Blog. The other sites look pretty neat, too, but they ain’t our peeps. And we want to give props to our (Heathen) peeps. It helps, however, that TNMB is awesome. Just check out the list of archives to see what it has to offer. Here’s my favorite quote-to-date:

“While [critics] calls Hawking a dogmatic New Atheist, I would argue that the physicist is actually an open-minded Old Mythologist.” Stephen Hawking: The Myths and the Critics, 2010

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that TNMB’s author, Karl Seigfried, is an academic. I haz PhD and likes (most) other PhDs. He teaches Norse religion and mythology at Carthage College and Loyola University. Way to kick it, Karl!

Voting closes this Sunday at 10:00pm EST. If TNMB wins the top award, Karl will get a cash prize — and I quote:

“…the Weblog of the Year receives a prize of 2,012 US cents (US$20.12).”

That’s a lot of cents, my friends. So don’t wait, realm — be counted by casting a vote now.

Hey, Karl! If you win, will you give us an interview? *batting my eyes*

Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions, our ego satisfactions, in consumption… We need things consumed, burned up, worn out, replaced, and discarded at an ever increasing pace. We need to have people eat, drink, dress, ride, live, with ever more complicated and, therefore, constantly more expensive consumption.

- American Economist Victor Lebow in his landmark 1955 paper “Price Competition in 1955″

Anti-consumerism has become a buzz word nowadays, particularly with the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement of the summer and fall which GG wrote about last week. While GG encouraged people to get involved, I’d like to tackle a couple of the major misunderstandings of anti-consumerism and the OWS movement. First is that it’s somehow anti-American (it’s not) and second that it’s anti-capitalist (I can see how this is confusing, but I disagree). As a public Pagan, I find this an important distinction to make because anti-consumerism is a common ideology in the Pagan community (although many of us prefer to use it’s cousin term “sustainability” to focus on the end goal*).

So let’s start off with the big question: What is anti-consumerism?

Anti-consumerism is the idea that buying lots of things does not make people happy, and the world is better off we we use and discard (consume) less junk.

That’s it. If you’ve ever debated making a purchase and decided against it because, even though it’s pretty, you know you won’t use it, you made a choice using fundamental anti-consumerist ideology. If you’ve ever looked around your house, been frustrated with clutter, and wondered, “How did I ever end up with all this useless crap??” you’re asking an anti-consumerist question. If you’ve ever repaired or re-purposed something when it breaks instead of purchasing a new one,you’ve acted like an anti-consumerist. If these things sound simplistic or obvious, look around at how many people are facing these issues on a regular basis. It is normal to have a household cluttered with stuff we purchased but never use and trash bins containing things like a shirt missing one button and a cracked picture frame that could be fixed with a little glue and a dot of paint. Waste and useless excess are the new norms of an American household. I know it’s a problem, but I live this way, too. I’m trying to change, but it’s hard.

From Wikipedia, based on data from The US Census Bureau Foreign Trade Division

There seems to be this idea, however, that by consuming less, I’m somehow damaging America because of GNP or something like that. First, if the success or failure of our country is based on everybody buying piles of junk they don’t need, there’s something fundamentally flawed in the way we’ve organized our nation. But let’s get real here. Where does our stuff come from and how does it get made? We’ve got a global economy at this point. Many of the things we buy are not from American companies. In 2010, the US had a $500 billion trade deficit (down from our record high of $817 in 2005 and 2006) – that means last year we imported $500 billion more in goods than we exported. Many of these goods are imported because they are made in foreign countries where labor and environmental laws are lax, allowing products to be made far more cheaply at the expense of human rights and the environment. So when I make a purchase of some piece of plastic crap that I may use once, I’ve just given money to a foreign country, hired foreign employees, increased my country’s debt to somebody else, and will soon be filling my country’s landfills with something which will potentially take centuries to biodegrade while leeching toxic chemicals into my country’s soil and water supply.

Not making that purchase is a far better way to love my country.

Second, do the people making anti-consumerist-is-anti-American arguments not remember that one of the events leading to the creation of our country was the Boston Tea Party? And what was that again? A multinational corporation with the financial backing to influence government was imposing its will on the people who then threw merchandise into the ocean instead of buying it. Our country was frickin’ founded by people thumbing their noses at big businesses who tried to throw their weight around. But now the same anti-corporate sentiment that founded our nation is anti-American? What changed?

The other major complaint I hear about anti-consumerism is that it’s the same thing as anti-capitalism or socialism. I can (sort of) see how this argument gets made (although, as I pointed out above, our Founding Fathers seemed to have had no confusion on how one could be pro-capitalist and also opposed to big businesses’ stranglehold on the market and over-influence on government). There is an anti-big-business feeling in anti-consumerism, and the extremes of laissez-faire capitalism are usually not considered okay in anti-consumerist ideology. Though not necessarily part of the philosophy, most of us anti-consumerists believe in fair labor laws and environmental restrictions on corporations. While not same thing as socialism (redistribution of wealth), often gets painted as it… I guess because we’re putting restrictions on what companies can do. To me the restrictions that should be placed on companies are the same responsibilities placed on freedom. For example, I don’t believe in the freedom to go punch my neighbor for fun. Freedom doesn’t mean the freedom to do harm. Same thing with companies; we’re not trying to unfairly restrict them; we’re trying to stop them from harming people and the environment (which harms people).*

I consider myself very pro-capitalist, but I believe that capitalism is damaged by consumerism. At its best, capitalism provides financial rewards to those who create the most desirable products in the most innovative ways. It engages personal responsibility and makes producers accountable to consumers for the quality and ethical standards of their products. Consumerism, though, teaches people to “buy trendy and upgrade (i.e. throw away) quickly.” This creates an environment where so many purchases are required to “keep up” that the cheapest goods are valued and there is little expectation of longevity or long-term customer service or product quality. We’re going to be done using this shirt, this computer, this non-stick pan within a year, so cost becomes the priority consideration, saving us the money we need to buy another one when this breaks or we are bored with it.

When we create an environment where price is the main standard by which products are judged, we no longer have competition for things that matter; we have factory pressed conformity (because that’s the easiest way to decrease cost) and a race to see who can cut the most corners while creating the biggest pile of product. Corporations work on a model of keeping us as dissatisfied as possible, feeling like we always need some new thing (that they want to sell us) in order to find a happiness. But that promised happiness is never attained because happiness doesn’t come from reckless or constant consumption.

Capitalism, like frith, works best when it’s person to person, not person to faceless corporation. I am so fortunate to live in a community where I have my choice of produce from local farms. I can choose the farm that best matches my ethical standards while giving me the best value. And I can visit that farm to see how my food is grown. Etsy is another beautiful example of capitalism at its best. I’ve started buying most of my jewelry there, and I can hop online to see all manner of handcrafted goods. I can talk directly to the artisans who made them and ask about materials and construction.

In Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (which is set in Sweden), the main character says:

You have to distinguish between two things – the Swedish economy and the Swedish stock market. The Swedish economy is the sum of all the goods and services that are produced in this country every day…

The Stock Exchange is something very different. There is no economy and no production of goods and services. There are only fantasies in which people from one hour to the next decide that this or that company is worth so many billions, more or less. It doesn’t have a thing to do with the Swedish economy.

Replace “Sweden” with “America” (or whatever country you like), and I couldn’t agree more. In true capitalism, the Americans who make things should be the heart of the American economy, not people who push paper around or watch numbers scroll across tickers. Buying real goods from real people – that’s the economy. Buying and selling goods (not shares) – that’s capitalism. The way I see it, those proposing that anti-consumerists are anti-American or anti-capitalists are either ill-informed regarding what we’re about… or they’ve been blinded by that big paycheck they’re making at the expense of the American economy, the environment, and the consumers’ right to choose, all while in complete denial of a historically American definition of capitalism.

Real Americans dump products over the side of a boat rather than submit to the thumb of corporate oppression. The princesses are anti-consumerist, pro-capitalist, and pro-American. Where do you stand?

Plastic Ocean by Kevin Krejci (CC Licensed via Flikr)

* Sustainability is another buzz word right now that is a post in and of itself. Basically, however, it means living in such a way that our generation does nothing to the Earth that will lessen it’s ability to support the next generation. Anti-consumerism has a goal of increased sustainability because it’s about not forcing the to world to create more products than we reasonably need. Each creation of product uses up our limited resources in the construction and creates waste both in the construction and when we throw the item away. The Earth is used to reclaiming natural substances that have outlived their purpose (which is why ancient societies who used wood for construction left little archaeological evidence – when they moved out, what they built biodegraded). But we have now a product cycle in which many items are easily broken to the point that they are not useful, but they don’t readily biodegrade. This is unsustainable because it creates a rapid need for new products that far exceeds the Earth’s ability to biodegrade the product back into the natural cycle – hence disasters like The Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

** Personally, I don’t understand why we have labor laws in this country and then allow the importation of items made in ways that don’t follow those labor laws, giving multi-national corporations with an unethical bent an advantage over companies who want to stay local and treat people fairly. THAT’S where I believe a big part of the problem lies.

+ Featured Image: Landfill Operation on Warner Road by Frank J. (Frank John) Aleksandrowicz

I was not, however, so fascinated with the movement that I did anything to participate in it. Though I did try to educate myself and identify other things I could do to be engaged that were copacetic with my spiritual, artistic (and materialistic) leanings. I looked through the Occupy Wall Street website, but it isn’t designed particularly well and the stream of information is not organized in such a way that I could digest it quickly. While I want to be a responsible data point in the 99%, I don’t want that task to take 99% of my leisure time. Don’t look at me like that! You are probably just like me and part of the lazy 99% of the 99%. *hmph*

So, I took a page from the Occupy movement and focused locally. Jax and I have bragged about our town before, but it’s worth another mention. Austin rocks (literally and figuratively). And I was happy to find the Occupy Austin site to be articulate and succinct. For example, while media types were harking on and on about how the movement had no focus, Occupy Austin had a clear list of tenets:

1. This movement is about democracy. We demand that the government be truly responsive to those it represents. We demand an end to the massive corporate influence blocking the voice of the people by eliminating corporate personhood and limiting monetary contributions to political campaigns and lobbying.
2. This movement is about economic security. We demand effective reforms to prevent banks and financial institutions from causing future economic crises.
3. This movement is about corporate responsibility. We demand strict repercussions for corporations and institutions who cause serious financial damage to our country and its taxpayers.
4. This movement is about financial fairness. We demand tax reforms to ensure that corporations and the wealthy pay their fair share in taxes.

They also provide information on what the average Joe (and average Joe six-pack) can do. The primary recommended action is to fire your bank and hire a credit union. I have long been a member of a credit union for my personal banking, but this advice still resonated with me. Just the phrasing, “fire” your bank, “hire” a credit union. I don’t know that I’ve thought about banking from that perspective before. I haven’t framed my relationship with my bank as…well, as a relationship. But yeah, I have hired my financial institution for a specific purpose and if they fail at it, I am empowered to fire them. When I think about my mortgage, I don’t feel empowered (more like overpowered). I don’t feel like I have the option to go to another lender. But I do. And I always have.

Which as a Pagan, you’d think I’d already know this. I do know this, as evidenced by my choosing a non-mainstream faith, but I hadn’t thought of focusing my “question everything” attentions on the economy. So my big take-a-way from the Occupy movement was that I have financial capital choices and the human capital power to exercise them.

I just have to be active rather than passive. I need to move my butt from the lazy 99% of the 99% to the engaged 1% of the 99%.** It really is up to me (and you) to provide the momentum for this movement. Crap. I liked being lazy. But I want economic reform more than I want to watch the all-day Dexter marathon.

What about you realm? Did you participate in your local Occupy demonstrations? Do you feel compelled to be part of the active 1% of the 99%?

* I already knew this, really. I was justifying my materialism — my personal Occupy Princess movement — by telling myself, “I’m contributing to the economy!” But I should have been socking away money like a responsible person instead of buying stuff. Or being more thoughtful about buying local instead of buying cheap (or sparkly, which is more often what motivates my purchases).
** I’m pulling the 1% figure out of my hat, but my guess is its not too far off. I’d be interested to know if you think there has been greater participation in the Occupy movement than 1%.

+ Featured image from Occupy Portland.

Leif Erikson was also the original European to discover America, nearly 500 years before Columbus. But his colony didn't stick.

A strong hamingja was considered one of the primary qualities in a good leader, because the hamingja of a leader affects everyone who follows him (or her). In fact, as I mentioned in the Freyfaxi post, a chieftain who had too many years of bad luck (proving he had a weak hamingja) was sometimes expected to offer himself up as a sacrifice so the village could find a new leader with a stronger one.

On the other hand, a leader with a particularly strong hamingja could lend it out to other people. For example, if somebody was going to war, a king could send his personal hamingja out into battle with the general. The belief was so strong that even into the Christian era there are examples of it happening. In Eric the Red’s Saga, chapter five, King Olaf sends Leif (Eric’s son) to Greenland to preach Christianity and promises him he’ll have good luck. Leif says that will only be the case if, “eg njóti yðvar við” – “I carry yours with me.” They don’t call it a hamingja in the saga; they simply call it “giftu” – good luck or fortune – but the idea of a king loaning out his luck is still there (granted, Leif was a recent convert to the new faith!).

It was also believed that at death a person could choose to pass their hamingja on to their children or grandchildren, much like any other inheritance. In a reversal of this idea, parents would sometimes name a child after a famous ancestor in the hopes the ancestor’s powerful hamingja would attach itself to their namesake.

According to the Lore, magic can be used to damage a person’s hamingja, leaving them unlucky at an inopportune time. An example of this comes from the legends of Grettir, a heroic outlaw from Iceland. Thorbjorn was trying to bring him to justice, and according to Grettir’s Saga, chapters 78-82, Thorbjorn’s foster-mother cursed Grettir’s hamingja with words and a rune-spell. Because his hamingja was damaged, Grettir injured himself while chopping wood and the injury festered. He was rendered so weak that when Thorbjorn brought a band of men to kill him, Grettir was unable to effectively defend himself. The witch knew her foster-son couldn’t take Grettir in a fair fight, so she damaged Grettir’s hamingja, and the bad luck that followed gave Thorbjorn the advantage he needed.

I’ve been thinking about luck lately. My husband and I have had a very lucky few months where things have been falling our way, at least in a business and social context. I’ve always had the temptation to fear good fortune as the top of a sine wave – that things are going well now, so we should sit carefully and wait for the inevitable downward slide. But the concept of a hamingja says that’s not the case. That Luck, while whimsical, is not completely chaotic and definitely not cyclical. By making good connections with others, including our ancestors, and by behaving with courage and perseverance, we can strengthen our hamingja and increase our chances of maintaining good luck. Then if we, like good kings of old, use our hamingja for the good of our community instead of merely personal gain, we can strengthen everyone’s wyrd, increase frith, and make the world, or at least our corner of it (which is all anyone has any real control over) a better place.

I like this. Heathen philosophy does not deny that there are many things in life out of our control. A person’s orlog (wyrd that applies to one person as opposed to the whole universal fabric of it, sometimes looked at as “destiny”) is started by other people. Throughout life our orlogs are affected by both their interconnectedness with the orlogs of others as well as random acts of nature and happenstance. However, we are not expected to suffer patiently through trials or to accept that life spins some fatalistic dance and we have no say in the choreography. Instead, we are expected to forge a viable path through the strands of wyrd, to connect deeply into it by building communities of frith, and to look at our luck not as an alien force that acts on us, but as a part of who we are.

How’s your relationship with your hamingja? And what is your philosophy about how luck or fate works in a person’s life?

Additional resources:

• Wikipedia
• Heathen Wiki
• Oxford Golden Dawn Occult Society  (a more UPG, magically oriented site, but interesting none-the-less)

+ Featured Image: Bad Dice by Matěj Baťha

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball (1911 – 1989)

I ❤ Lucy. She was a real trail blazer. And I concur with her sentiment on the topic of age. ;-) I try to be honest most of the time. And sometimes I am too successful in this endeavor (as my friends will attest). I could probably stand to eat more slowly. Growing up with a 6’4” brother turned eating into a competition for resources when I was kid, so I have some unhealthy neural connections when it comes to eating (aka, I’m wired to wolf down grub). [That totally sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? I mean, you’re buying this explanation for why I eat too fast, aren’t you?]

I have not, however, ever lied about my age. Yet. Come next Monday, there is a statistically insignificant chance I will know the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. But mostly, I’ll just get older. The option to lie about my age is becoming increasingly attractive. But that kinda negates Lucy’s first piece of advice, “to live honestly.” Ah well, you can’t have everything. I will miss being honest.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
– Chili Davis (1960 – still kickin’ it)

I’ve been trying to do a little self-reflection and figure out what is next for me on this great blue marble. I’ve learned a lot about being true to myself and the benefits and costs of doing that. I’ve learned a lot about the value of friends, when to ask them for help and when to offer it. I’ve learned a lot about politics of family and the ripple effects decisions we make when we are young (and stupid) have on our long-term relationships with the ones we love.

I haven’t quite figured out how to navigate my career. I haven’t quite figured out how to appreciate others whose opinions are vastly different from mine (thus wrong) (and stupid)…(just kidding) (mostly). I haven’t quite figured out how to edit myself in social settings. Though I have figured out that after several glasses of wine, this is not possible on any level. I sometimes feel that because I haven’t figured these things out, I haven’t really grown up. I know it’s optional =), but it seemed like my parents were way grown-up by the time they were my age. Am I really as grown-up as they were at 42?

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
– Unknown

I look good for my age. No really, I do. [Should you disagree, please refer to the previous paragraph, second sentence.] But some of my bits are changing. Some are changing color (my hair), some are changing size (my feet), and some are changing…altitude (no comment). I always thought I would age gracefully. I suppose we all think that when we are young. Ah, the faith of youth, the fortitude, the folly.

I don’t even know what that means, “to age gracefully.” Does it mean that you let time wash over you without resistance? *raspberry* My dermatologist and I have other plans. Nothing invasive, mind you. I’m not interested in that kind of plan. Yet.

The first hundred years are the hardest.
– Wilson Mizner (1876 – 1933)

For some reason, my age is getting to me this year. The last time I felt like this around my birthday was when I turned 30. The exodus from my 20’s triggered a flashing “You Need to Get Your @%#& Together” sign in my head. I followed that sign. And I got my @%#& together. Now I have a sign flashing in my head that reads, “Where Did Your @%#&” Go?” Uh…I swear I just had it. I’ve been looking for it for a while now, but I can’t find it. Maybe it’s with my car keys. D’oh!

Even though I will be on a @%#& hunt for the unforeseeable future (ew, that sound gross), I am happy to be healthy, safe and employed. And I keep reminding myself that from here on out, I will only get older. There really is no secret to staying young because there is no staying young. Sure, 42 ain’t 20. But it ain’t 70, neither. So kick it up while you can! Preferably in attractive (and sensible) heels.

What about you readers? Have you ever struggled with birthdays?

“The effort to create alternatives to marriage between a man and a woman are perfectly natural pagan behaviors…” – Newt Gingrich on Jan. 25, 2012 during a conference call with Jim Garlow (The full call can be found on his website)

Wow, break out the trumpets! Newt-G said something I agree with. Of course, he said this while revisiting his 3-year-old diatribe about how Western Civilization is going to pot because we’re surrounded by paganism.

Does he not realize the Greeks and Romans who founded Western Civilzation were… ohmigods, PAGAN! If you like the architecture of the White House, you like a Pagan design. If you like democracy (the principle or you just think the word is pretty) you like a Pagan idea and a Pagan language. If you like theater, Pagans created that. Or if you like writing… we started that. Do you think cement is useful? We invented that.

I’m not mentioning these things to say we’re better than everybody else. I’m saying this to reiterate that Pagans are no different from everybody else. We’re totally normal people who are well integrated into a society that we helped shape in many fundamental ways. America is here, doing what she does because Pagans and Christians and Atheists and a whole lotta other people over a whole lotta centuries thought and worked and worried and tried. It took all of us to create the culture we have today.

But back to Newt-G and his pandering to religious extremists, the idea that gay marriage is a SIN and an ABOMINATION under GOD seems to have become a rallying cry. I’m not going to rehash a defense of gay marriage in this post. If you’re reading this, there’s a high liklihood you know what I would say (“Why is it not legal already?”) and you agree with me.

Instead, I would like to thank Newt-G for the compliment he gave Pagans which I quoted above.

Yes, it is perfectly natural behavior for a Pagan to support the government getting out of people’s private lives. (Congress can screw us from the capital; they don’t need to get into our bedrooms.) Yes, it is perfectly natural behavior for a Pagan to think the government shouldn’t tell religions what they can and can’t allow or believe on spiritual matters – such as the spiritual union between two people. And yes, it is perfectly natural behavior for a Pagan to believe that what other people do in the privacy of their homes (that does not take away free will from somebody else – I’m not okaying Ted Bundy here) is not anyone else’s gosh-darned business. This doesn’t apply only to gay rights, but to a myriad of issues the government has no business dictating to us.

Why, oh WHY do we give a flying crap what other people do when it has zero effect on our own lives? If some other woman is married to a man, or to a woman, or to a squirrel for that matter, why would that affect the way I feel about my husband or my marriage? TheScott and my relationship has nothing to do with her or her squirrel (hmm… that didn’t sound right…) and our relationship isn’t so delicate that it can’t handle other people doing things differently than we do.

Unless, of course, that other person starts telling me that because she happily married a squirrel, I have to as well. Then her choice is affecting me – not her choice to marry a squirrel, but her attempt to force her choice on me. Then her behavior has become invasive. Then – and only then – has she created a problem for me.

When we Pagans or gays or any other minority group ask everyone else to “please just shut up with the telling us what to do already!” we’re not trying to oppress anybody and we’re not trying to take over, we’re just saying… well, we’re really saying: I don’t want to marry a squirrel. Any attempts to make me are an irritating waste of time. And, yes, I will fight to stop squirrel marriage from being a mandatory standard for everybody. Defending choice is not oppressing anyone – other people can still marry a squirrel if they think it’s so great – it’s merely allowing the millions of non-squirrel marrying people out here to do their thing, too. The fact that squirrel-marriage aficionados formed a club (or a church) and found an ancient document that depicts squirrel marriages ordained by the great god Squirlicious does not mean it’s okay for them to attempt a hostile takeover of the world. I have my own ancient documents I’d rather draw inspiration from, thank you very much.

Are we clear here? Marry a man, marry a woman, marry a squirrel^*. Pray to Jesus, pray to Odin, pray to nobody. I don’t care all that much. Just don’t tell me I have to do what you do.

Oh dear gods, for the good of our nation surround us with paganism. Not the religion (note the little ‘p’), but Newt-G’s definition of paganism as apparent from his ranting: the belief that the citizens of a free nation can and should think for themselves. The pagan ideal which says we can choose our life’s path without interference. A pagan mindset that doesn’t take offense when somebody makes a different choice than I do. It isn’t a personal insult and it isn’t an infringement of my rights to let my neighbors live their own way. And if that’s paganism, then I am just as proud to be a (lowercase) pagan as I am spiritually fulfilled to be a (capital) Pagan.

Whether you’re Pagan or Christian or Atheist or Buddhist or Whatever-ist, I wish you happiness in paganism. Spread the gospel of free will and tolerance, not the vitriol of homogenity. Together we can celebrate the mixed bag of religion and culture and wacky ideas and stunning revelations that made and continues to make America great.

*Provided you can get the squirrel to say “I do.” The squirrel should also have free will in selecting his or her marital partner. As a side note, I would also suggest that before making oaths of marital fidelity might be the best time to agree on whether or not other squirrels can have access to your, ahem, acorns…. but as a wacky Pagan, my understanding of traditional marriage might be a little shaky.

+ Featured Image: Newt with Squirrel (badly) compiled from a shot of Newt Gingrich by Gage Skidmore and squirrels03 by Mattana. (Can you tell who doesn’t use Photoshop in her spare time?)

Follow-through. Execution. Delivery. Call it what you will, this is not my strong suit because I can put stuff off like nobody’s business.*

Case in point, I have just burned I-don’t-know-how-many-minutes amusing myself by singing Carly Simon’s “Anticipation” (warning: video link) while substituting the key word with “procrastination.” Surprisingly, it fits pretty well. And that got me thinking about ketchup (warning: video link), which I don’t like. I don’t like any condiments, actually. And so forth and so on…

[You’re singing that song now, aren’t you?]

But the most recent serious case of procrastination I dealt with (or didn’t, rather) was related to a recent performance. Last Saturday was the Austin Bellydance Association’s biannual Jukebox Bellydance Show. A very popular event for dancers and audience alike where bellydancers perform to non-traditional music (non-Middle Eastern music). Performances ranged from rock and pop to classical and musical. I opened the show with a performance to a high energy pop song.

Me bellydancing to Lady Gaga's "Telephone"

I’d known about the possibility of this performance since early last fall. I knew of the certainty of this performance since early last December. But still, I didn’t prepare with the depth I had intended. And for no other reason than I let myself procrastinate. I visualized what I might do for a long time, and that was really helpful, but it I didn’t start working on movement until maybe a week out. I didn’t start really rehearsing until a few days before and even then I didn’t dedicate the time or energy I needed to get what I wanted out of my performance. I mean, I really wanted to kick ass, not fall on my ass (literally or figuratively).** And that means I needed to work. But I didn’t. Not like I wanted to. *head. desk.*

[Is that song still in your head?]

Why did I (why do I) let my potential drip out of my champagne glass instead of gulping all the bubbles? Why do I let myself, my creativity, be paralyzed by this horrible four-letter word? Okay,  procrastination is not actually four letters — it is (4×3)+3 letters — but it might as well be. Because it makes me feel like $@%&!

One of the most attractive tenets of Paganism (for me) is the idea that you control what you do, aka personal spiritual authority. Your actions are a result of your decisions and your fate is heavily tied to those decisions. This tenet allows me to bubble with pride when I make decisions I’m proud of. It also makes me gag on my bad decisions or my inability to make a decision at all. Because the power to do right by myself is all mine and when I make bad decisions (like not rehearsing), I’m blowing it big time. There’s no one to blame but me. Damn.

[You’re welcome. =P]

Me trying to push my boundaries as a bellydancer and experimenting with movement

In the end, I was pleased with my performance.*** I wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t fall on my ass, so cheers to that. I challenged myself in a few ways, like dancing in three-inch heels (bellydance is usually performed barefooted) and experimenting with movement I usually wouldn’t attempt (for fear of falling on my aforementioned arse). I wanted to convey a bad-ass attitude infused with technique so I looked like a professional. But because I didn’t invest the time and effort I should have, I managed to convey a bad-ass attitude with only enough technique that I didn’t look like a poser. So, I ended up with a performance that was good, but not great. And that is really frustrating. I could have created something that left me with pride. Instead, I created something that left me satisfied. And there’s a pretty big gap between those two feelings. Double damn.

Procrastination is a real problem for me creatively and sometimes professionally (and almost always personally). What about you, Royal Readers? Do you procrastinate? What’s your more recent (or most flagrant) case of procrastination? If you have any advice for overcoming procrastination (aside from “get off your arse and do it!”), I’d be much obliged.

* As Jax can attest. I turn in my posts for editorial review woefully late nearly every week.

** I sometimes do literally fall on my arse. Usually when I am in a new place. Hey, some people use the bathroom to get to know a new space, I fall on my ass. Well, I use the bathroom, too, but I feel we are teetering on TMI at this point.

*** I don’t have video yet, since the performance just happened, but I will add my performance once I get it. That may be awhile.

+ Photos courtesy of Franko Aguirre.

Our Lady of Vladimir (12th century)

The waxing/full/waning moon, as seen on Bri’s (our mascot – Brisingamen’s) crown, might be the second most recognized symbol of Paganism after the pentacle. It uses the phases of the moon to represent feminine power and the cycle of change that is birth, creation, death, and rebirth. The roundness of the full moon recalls the round fullness of pregnancy, the genesis of new life.

It is a well-regarded symbol that holds power and beauty for a lot of people. For many Pagans, especially women, its glorification of the divine feminine is part of what drew us to Paganism in the first place and away from religions we perceived as being more male-centric.

Despite all this, I’ve never really connected with it. Maybe it’s my Scandinavian roots showing through. For us the moon is masculine. In a harsh climate with a short growing season, men changed with the tides, leaving home to be merchants, explorers, and warriors and hopefully returning quickly, ships laden with the goods and supplies needed to provide for the community. To us it is the sun who is feminine – the constant presence that preserves order and builds life, the center around which everything else revolves. The one whose shrinking presence in winter kills life and whose growing attendance in summer brings abundance. The moon may come and go and life remain basically unchanged, but the sun is needed for survival. There’s a bit of old-school gender roles wrapped up in this division I suppose, but I must admit I get a kick out of thinking of men as reflecting our light, and not the other way around.

But the changing moon of Maiden-Mother-Crone is something I encounter all the time in Pagan circles. Right now, however, my usual shrugging disconnect has soured into antipathy or even outright anger. I know the intensity of this feeling will pass, or mostly pass anyway. Certainly I don’t intend to take anything away from people for whom this symbol carries joyful resonance; I want others to hold what is precious to them. But for me, I don’t think M-M-C can ever be something I rally to, and I imagine I’m not the only Pagan woman who feels this way.

*Deep breath in.*

After nearly two years of trying, TheScott and I have decided we will not create children. We’ve been through all kinds of tests, and there isn’t anything wrong with him. They can’t find anything wrong with me either, but it’s been explained to me that women are so complicated in this particular bit of biology they can’t know for sure. The doctors call it “unexplained infertility.” They mean, “Her body isn’t doing its job. We don’t know why.”

"Mother and Child", 1959 painter unknown

No full moon for me. I will wax and I will wane, but I will never have that full center, the focal point of the damn graphic that takes up most of the space. And so I look at the picture and stick my tongue out like the child I suppose I still am (at least until I am a crone… at what point does someone who skips the middle go from maiden to crone?) and I tell myself I’m glad my ankles will never swell and my weight balloon and my boobs sag and that I won’t have to be miserable for nine months and sleepless for another three while my hormones go insane.

I mean, really, why do we do this to ourselves?

Then I look at Scott and I want to sob because as crazy as it is, I want to create life with him. But I’m not going to, and I don’t understand why. Why not us? And I don’t know if we just tried for one more month if it would work. Or if we tried for three more years it still wouldn’t. And if we paid for drugs and procedures and all manner of expensive things, would we end up with a baby or an empty bank account and nothing to show for it?

Amidst it all I am constantly reminded that I’m nearly 35 and it is time to make a decision and move forward because more than anything I am worn out from crying once a month when we are disappointed yet again. I’m tired and I want – no, I need – the struggle to be over.

The reality is, the archetype of “mother” is not representative of a lot of women. I know women who have tried to have children and when it didn’t work, decided to remain childless. I know women who never wanted children, who were happier with their work or their creative passion or whatever it was they desired for their lives. These alternate life choices are not a substitute for motherhood, and I don’t believe motherhood should be the symbol that represents them. They are simply different paths. Being a biological mother may be a function only women can perform, but it is not the apotheosis of who we are. It is not our only meaningful contribution and it is not the pinnacle to which we should all climb (or aspire to climb) before waning into cronehood lest we leave our lives incomplete.

I will not allow that full moon to be a big, round hole in my existence.

Regardless of what it feels like some nights.

*Deep breath out.**

Mother of Atayal

TheScott and I have decided to still be parents. We started adoption classes Monday, and both of us are excited. We’re going through Child Protective Services, so we will adopt children instead of infants. Children who, like TheScott and me, are looking for the family denied us via the more traditional route.

I’ve already started hearing the well-intentioned but still thorny congratulations of, “See, you’ll still be a mother. It’s the same thing.” I know people mean well, so the polite part of me wants to answer, “Thank you,” but I admit a part of me wants to say something else that ends in “-k you” because while family is family no matter how they find each other, it isn’t the same thing. And there’s nothing wrong or shameful about admitting there are differences. My children will have other parents that they have spent parts of their lives with. They won’t have TheScott’s eyes and my sense of humor. We’ll have different backgrounds and worldviews that the whole family will have to work through. We can’t straight up substitute somebody else’s biological kids for our own as if there is no difference, and to say my impending motherhood is “practically the same thing” is an over-simplification. The way I see it, working biology may make somebody a mother, but it doesn’t automatically make her a good one. Some other woman was the “inconstant moon” (to quote Juliet) who left her children in the dark as she wandered her own ways. I will strive, instead, to be the stable one. The one who will build a bright, cheerful home. The one who helps our children grow strong. I will do my utmost to be a mother like the sun.

Maiden Mother Crone. I reject these titles. I left maidenhood long ago, I will never create life inside me like a mother, and I have a long time yet before I admit to being a crone. I will be satisfied with “human.” And “woman.” “Pagan.” “Writer.” “Friend.” “Wife.” “Daughter.” “Sister.” When TheScott and I bring our new family home, I will be the happiest sun-mother in the world – not because we got a substitute family or something “just like the real thing” but because we got something real and meaningful and different and beautiful in its own right. Just like every other woman’s (or man’s) life – different and meaningful in it’s own unique way.

Young Woman Kissing Baby in Bassinet from the Library of Congress

I thank my family and my friends for being so joyfully supportive of the choices TheScott and I are making. We have been and continue to be blessed with amazing people in our lives. I wish you, dear readers, much frith in the choices you make – the easy and the challenging, those that follow tradition, and those that strike a new path. Whatever names you take on and symbols you choose – or reject – may you find comfort and strength to face the realities of your life with pride in who you are and joy for what you will become.