While I know TGO has my best interests at heart, I thought it prudent to ask The Oracle if there were other, additional ways to ensure my happiness. The Oracle had a lot to offer. I mean A LOT — so, I just reviewed the first few pages. One thing I can tell you for sure is that happy people are big on counting. Just look at some of the sites The Oracle suggested for me:

This kid has the key to happiness!

• Five Things Happy People Do
• Choosing To Be Happy, Strategies for Happiness: 7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person
• Twelve Things Happy People Do Differently (or if you are a Sherlock Holmes fan, John Watson’s 12 Things Happy People Do). Psst! It’s the same list.
• 15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently
• 21 Habits of Happy People
• What the Happiest People Know for Sure

As someone trained in measurement and methods, I can totally buy into the idea that being >quantitative = >happy (more counting = more happy). In an effort to countinue (har har) this trend — and to be countinuous (har) on the blog — I’ve consolidated a list of the Top Seven Secrets*  to Happiness and noted if the Princesses have mastered these felicitous skills. =)

1. Foster friendships and social relationships. I think we princesses do well on fostering relationships. At the very least, we have managed to stay good friends with each other while exploring new ground (becoming blog partners). Through our posts, we’ve managed to make some new friends. [Keep reading AJ/Melia, Arianna, Devin, Kristina, Meagan, and Velody!] And to reconnect with old friends. [We ❤ you B!, Charles, Father Snort, k!, and T.K.!] ✔
2. Have a positive attitude. Hmm. I think we generally have a positive attitude. Certainly when it comes to being Pagan we do. One of the purposes of this blog is to promote a positive image of Paganism, after all. But sometimes people disparage Paganism, or faith in general, or something else we believe in. And when that happens, we are positively PO’d, but not necessarily positive. We tend to call people out on their #$%& in this regard rather than try to find the goodness in their asshatery (though I have tried). —
   

   Talk about a positive attitude!

3. Be grateful. We are very grateful for the Realm! And we are grateful to those who have contributed to the blog content, design and artwork. We have been thrilled by the support readers have given and excited by the opportunity to contribute to the dialogue about Paganism. If we haven’t thanked you enough before…thank you so much for reading and sharing our posts!! ✔
4. Forgive. This one is tricky. Forgiveness is not an edict in our faith. We don’t believe human foibles require forgiveness, divine or otherwise. For us, it’s not about forgiving, it’s about not causing or adding drama in the first place. From this perspective, I think both of us are pretty good at it. We get passionate about issues, but we’re not running around harboring anger at people for insignificant things. But we reserve the right to hold a grudge against significant offenses. See secret skill number 2 re: getting PO’d. We tend to stay PO’d at asshatness. —
5. Choose to be happy. I can say with confidence that we choose to be happy. We Princesses may be descended from Visigoths, but we our goth is more Buffy tVS than Bauhaus (considered to be the first gothic rock band). And we like to share our happy through parties and celebrations. You should come join us on our next outing. (Announcement coming soon!) ✔
6. Do things that are meaningful. Yes! We Princesses are committed to two posts a week every week and we love it. It’s work, let me tell you, but it is satisfying. We are also fortunate enough find fulfillment in our 9-to-5 gigs, too. Jax recently announced her good news as a fiction writer. And I landed a terrific new job at the end of last year. Our professional and posting lives are chock-full of meaning. And we are very glad about this. See secret skill number 3. ✔
7. Be considerate of others. Aside from calling people out on asshatation, we try to be very considerate of others in this blog, especially other faiths. Part of our mission is to celebrate our holidays while including our kith and kin of other faiths. We do our best to treat other faiths with the respect we want for Paganism and we ask the Realm to follow our lead. ✔

Happiness chosen!

Five out of seven check marks! Not bad, I think. So, I’d say on a scale of…oh, I don’t know, one to seven, we Princesses rate a five on happiness. Yay happiness! Admittedly, though, we are skeptical of trying to codify a feeling. Regardless of any checklist, we Princesses consider ourselves happy.

What about you Realm? Are you happy based on these Secret Skills of Happiness. Hmph. I guess they really aren’t secret since TGO and The Oracle (and now the Princesses) are blabbing them all over the Internet. Yay blabbing!

* I thought it necessary to include my methods for ranking these skills since I bragged about being trained in measurement and methods. Here’s what I did, in the order I did it:

• Listed out all the secrets to happiness identifying the bullet number (from above) and the rank from the original source.
• Placed all repeating secrets side-by-side so I could see how many times each secret was cited.
• Sorted by the number of times a secret was listed and by its rank to find the top seven.

Being a geek, I did all of this in MS Excel. I’m happy to share my research, just post a comment to request the file. Be sure to include an email address where I can reach you when you leave your comment (not in the actual comment, but in the “registration” to leave a comment).

+ Featured image borrowed from this site.

Troll (from wikipedia) : A troll is a supernatural being in Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. In origin, one of the meanings of the term troll was a negative synonym for a jötunn (plural jötnar), a being in Norse mythology, although the word was also used about witches, berserkers and various other evil magical figures. In Old Norse sources, beings described as trolls dwell in isolated rocks, mountains, or caves, live together in small family units, and are rarely helpful to human beings.

Troll (also from wikipedia): In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

Troll, by JML (from wikimedia)

Well, Realm, I feel like The Pagan Princesses have made it to the big time – we had our first troll! No, I won’t point it out – we try not to feed trolls around here. But I did leave the comment up and posted a response, the gist of which I’m repeating here. Warning, she (the commenter)* inspired a bit of a rant.

Up until this point, we’ve never felt the need for an “official commenting policy.” The Realm has been an amazing group of thoughtful, open-minded people, and we love you all muchly! But after our troll ended the post with the common trollery of “will you remove this comment ?” (just like that, with the lack of capitalization and space before the ?. Classy, huh?) I realized maybe we should have some form of policy we can point to and say, “Um, yes. We will.”

I don’t believe we need a policy before we can delete comments or banish trolls. GG and I write this in our spare time and pay for the web space. We don’t have to let rude people say ridiculous things on our turf. Yes, we believe in free speech, but neither of us is in the habit of welcoming people into our physical homes who like to spout obnoxious bigotry. The Pagan Princesses is our internet home, and the same principle applies.

But while a comment policy is not needed to give us permission to banish or delete, I thought knowing the “castle rules” might give people the freedom to post more commentary. You can say a whole lot here and not be held in contempt. These princesses actually like differences of opinion.

So… let’s go over what this commenter did wrong and what she could’ve done differently to not inspire this post.

Commenting Rule #1: Treat GG and I like we’re reasonably honest people with no hidden agenda, and if you’re going to argue with content (which is totally welcome), at least know the basics of what this blog is about.

What she did wrong: The commenter implied that GG and I are Christian conspirators trying to denigrate the history of the Germanic people by teaching revisionist history. (I just had to get that WTFery out of the way.)

What she should have done differently: Umm… well… She could have read the title of our blog, The Pagan Princesses, and thought, “hey, maybe these ladies are Pagan.” I guess if your mind is completely soaked in some serious Kool-aid you might think two princesses would spend nearly two years writing a blog that purportedly promotes Pagan interfaith tolerance but in reality subliminally sends messages… No, I can’t even finish that sentence.

Look, if somebody doesn’t like GG and I… we don’t care. They won’t be the first or last person. But before anyone posts about what crappy people we are, they should at least read enough of the blog (i.e. the title) to know that GG and I are Pagans. A tad more in depth reading would show that we’re Heathens with Teutonic heritage who practice ancestor worship. There is no way we would intentionally denigrate the history of our own people. It doesn’t take much reading at all to get that.

In case somebody else is confused, this blog is not a conspiracy. We are writing in earnest.

Rule #2: If you can’t phrase something respectfully, take your fingers off the keyboard. Absolutely no slurs towards anyone are welcome on this blog.

What she did wrong: Devalued another faith with slanderous language and by calling their vision of divinity false.

What she should have done differently: All religions should be spelled with a capital letter. If you are not a Christian, don’t use Xtian (I know that shorthand originally came about from the Greek letter “Chi” – the first letter of Christ’s name, but too often it get used as a snarky way of x-ing out Christ. To avoid confusion, don’t do it.). Do not stereotype anyone of another faith as a murderer, a terrorist, a satan-worshipper, or anything ridiculous like that. The Pagan Princesses is also not the place to denounce or diminish other gods by say, I don’t know, calling them false.

It’s true that we people of faith haven’t always been nice to each other. There’s been some lion-feeding and some burning at stakes and guillotines and other, more recent examples of bad behavior (pardon my understatement). Some people have a lot of frustration over past cultural violence and lost histories. There is a lot of anger now with the influence of religion over politics and fears of religiously inspired terrorism. But here in The Realm, all faiths are welcome. You don’t have to talk like no wrong has ever existed, because that would be a lie. But speak about it without condemning everyone for the actions of some.

Rule #3: When you point out an error (and please point these out), include at least one reputable citation.

What she did wrong: After implying GG and I were teaching bogus history, she proceeded to tell a version of history I’ve never heard before and didn’t offer a single source to back up her crazy sauce assertions.

What she could have done differently: As much as it pains me to admit… I am occasionally wrong. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. And if you ever catch me (or GG) in said wrongness, please, oh please, let us know. It is important to us that we are as accurate as possible. In The Realm we tend to take a conservative stance toward history; if it can’t be proved with multiple citations, it’s not a fact; it’s a possibility. If there are no citations other than an internet article that “felt right”… that’s not history, it’s UPG.**

So, if you spot an error in our writing and would like to point it out, please add citations. This helps a lot because when we post a correction, we now have a citation to include in the post. It also helps because we will do due diligence on claims made by other people. It’s not that we don’t want to trust everyone, but this is the crazy interwebs and we all know how misinformation gets spread by well-meaning people. Paganism seems to be unfortunately rife with mistaken histories, and we at The Pagan Princesses strive very hard to stick with verifiable historical information.

This is not meant to stop anyone from telling us what they believe. If you believe something that has little or even no historical backing, that’s totally cool. Faith is always a leap. Tell us about it! There is nothing wrong with, “I realize the research says X, but I believe Y because…” What I’m asking is that nobody contemptuously insist my research is wrong and I need to change my attitude and/or rewrite my article because you think the gods speak to you personally and you know all truth.

…

Beware of Trolls by Sam Fentress (from wikimedia)

And there you have it, a commenting policy for The Pagan Princesses. Comments around these parts should respect religious diversity (and diversity in general), know what the purpose of this blog is, and, when arguing facts, contain citations. If your comment can work within those bounds, please post! We’re all in favor of discussion, debate, and diversity of opinions!

If your comment cannot… we do reserve the right to smash trolls with a hammer. We are Heathens after all.

* The commenter was, much to my shame, a fellow Pagan. *le sigh* Pagans of The Realm, I admit, I hold you unfairly to a higher standard. If somebody from a different religion wants to represent their faith by being an obnoxious idiot, well, I don’t take it ragingly personal. But when a fellow Pagan shows up sounding like a giant tub of mean-spirited stupid, well, in case you didn’t notice, this website is about showing people that Pagans are nice, normal, productive members of society. Pagan trolls are the ultimate fail on a Pagan blog. As much as I will try to play fair, asshat Pagan comments are more likely to get my fingers hovering over the delete key because that’s just embarrassing.

**UPG – Unverified Personal Gnosis, i.e. a belief which is not backed up by research. There is nothing wrong with UPG – in fact, I like to hear other people’s UPG – as long as it is labeled as such.

+ Featured Image: Drawing of a troll near a door by John Bauer (John Bauer makes cute trolls! Not like real ones at all.)

A few weeks ago, Jax, Charles and I went and saw The Cabin in the Woods (TCitW). We are all big time Joss Whedon fans and really excited about his recently released scary movie* he co-wrote with Drew Goddard, the film’s director and an alumnus of the Angel writing team. So much so that we all overcame our reluctance to watch gore to go see this film. Though admittedly, we watched an early showing — a very early showing (noon) — to avoid being scared at night. I had kept myself pure** of recent reviews, plot pontification and character critiques so I could watch the movie cold. I was really curious how Whedon would use his cliché-crunching powers in this flick. I was not disappointed. Understatement of the year! I won’t go into minute detail on the plot — you can find that on Wikipedia if you haven’t seen the film and want the full monty story line. But the plot will be revealed in this post. Did I mention there are spoilers here? *grin*

For starters, the film title is a fun send-up to the horror genre. To be honest, I didn’t get this at first. Indeed, I didn’t get it until right before the movie started. The Alamo Drafthouse showed some Whedon-related footage before the previews. Then they showed a clip from Evil Dead and I was all, “What’s the connection to Joss Whedon?” And Jax and Charles were like, “It’s a ‘cabin in the woods’ movie,” with an implied “Duh!” And I was all, “Oh.”

It was also really fun to see actors from other Whedon projects appearing in this film. But I always enjoy seeing dyed-in-the-Whedon actors in new productions!*** Here’s the crossovers that Charles was able to identify on the spot (‘cause he’s cool like that):

♕♕ For real, this post contains spoilers. From here on out. ♕♕

Charles also noticed some story arc themes from other Whedon productions in TCitW. Jax and I did, too, but Charles was nice enough to catalogue his thoughts on the matter (‘cause that’s how he rolls). Jax and I have speckled our thoughts in this list, too.

• An unwilling heroine (Dana or Buffy) is willing to kill somebody she cares about to save the world (Buffy tVS, Season 2), although the outcome is definitely different in TCitW. Dana is at least temorarily willing, but not able to kill Marty. Whereas Buffy followed through and sent Angel to a hell dimension to prevent an apocolypse.
• The control room / underground laboratory fight scenes were reminiscent of The Initiative’s army research facility and its fate (Buffy tVS, Season 4).
• The use of sacrifice was reminiscent of the spiritual guide who told Buffy, “Death is your gift” in Season 5. Except in TCitW the characters are unwilling lambs, and upon realizing their deaths were necessary to save the world, they chose to live until the end (of the movie…er world). Whereas Buffy jumped into an abyss of her own accord to prevent an apocolypse.
• Buffy’s gang was always called the Scoobies, and similar archetypes were  well-represented in TCitW. Curt = Fred, Marty = Shaggy, Jules = Daphne and Dana   = Velma. I guess that means Holden = Scooby. Ruh Roh! Ah well, the Buffy scoobs never quite fit into those categories, either.
• The dramatic is set in the mundane. In Buffy tVS, the Hellmouth is set in suburbia and in a high school. In TCitW the drama is the fate of the world and the mundane is an office setting with white short-sleeved shirts and ties. *shudder*
• The sacrifice of youth to suspend the rise of old powers is pretty similar to the slayers’ historical creation, i.e., making a young girl suffer to prevent the return of ancient chaos. The willingness and ability to sacrifice young women is a dominant theme in all of Joss’s works. As Jax points out, Joss isn’t approving female sacrifice. He is commenting on how humanity seems unilaterally afraid of powerful females and is therefore often willing to sacrifice them for moral and political ends. But this is a little more “feminist critique” than TCitW calls for as three of the five lambs were men. All of the lambs were young, though, a requirement for the ritual.
• The baseline mythology between TCitW and BtVS is identical. In Buffy tVS, the old ominous powers are called demons and in TCitW they are called gods, but the shared idea is there were uber-powerful forces here before humanity, and they have been driven underground so the world is safe(ish) for people.
• Where Buffy and Angel were inverting standard horror tropes (little blond girl kicks everyone’s ass, vampire with a soul), TCitW inverted Whedon’s standards — the world actually DOES end! Everyone DOES die! There actually IS a valid, justifiable reason to manipulate and terrorize these kids.

Archetypal Lambs from TCitW

“…this is a movie about why all…other horror movies exist. Why is there always a “stoner”? Why is there always a “virgin”? Why is there always a “whore”? Why is there always a “jock”? And why do they always seem to die in a certain order, and why is the virgin spared? Cabin in the Woods explains this to us: It is what the gods want.” — Jamie Frevele @ The Mary Sue

♕♕ Major plot reveal! ♕♕

So yeah, the gist of the movie is that regular sacrifices quench the thirst of old (theoretically if not physically) Cthulu-esque gods who demand human blood. This is the contract to keep them from rising and destroying humanity and prolly Earth to boot. These sacrifices are orchestrated conspiratorially by powers that be (government? corporate? who knows!). [In this sense, Whedon and Goddard use one genre (conspiracy theory) to explain another (horror). Cool, huh?] The lambs (those who are sacrificed) fit into five archetypes (for the USA).✝ As each archetype dies, blood seeps down to the old gods to sate them. It just so happens the slaughter of these lambs is the fodder for the entire genre of horror films.

Let’s get serious for a moment. In providing a “conspiracy to satisfy gods” explanation of horror tropes, Whedon and Goddard point out the inherent moralizing in the horror genre and take bloody delight in giving it the middle finger. TCitW acknowledges horror movies, intentionally or not, regularly promote overly moralistic (and unrealistic) values and thereby, again intentionally or not, support the social convention of overly condemning people for behaving like people. The message from the powers that be in TCitW is that it’s okay to sacrifice somebody because they like sex. Or because they smoke weed. Really? TCitW exposes the tension between the agent that imposes restrictive morality (because a higher power requires it!) and the agents being repressed. The consequences are explosive when the reduction of the human experience makes life so unworth living, the repressed choose oblivion rather than exist in a world that requires sacrificing humanity (as in the quality of being human). Relationships are the REAL virtue of the movie — as opposed to the trumped up morality of the gods (once again Joss bangs his drum for the importance of kith and kin!). While the lives of the lambs are laid for slaughter, their relationships do not falter. And that is the real and true basis of the social contract, not the hive mentality to judge and punish. [This film analysis was brought to you by Jax!]

The betting board from TCitW

Okay, back to being less serious. The lambs aren’t the only archetypes in this movie. TCitW includes an homage to just about every baddie you can image: Hellraiser, werewolf, giant bats, aliens, Egyptian curses, zombies, witches and on and on. This was very cool. Even though I am not a horror enthusiast, I recognized most of the baddies loosed in the lab. *Ding!*

The comic relief in this film was brilliant, too, as one would expect from Whedon and Goddard. Ha! I’m just thinking about the Merman. Hilarious. Oh and the phone call from the creepy gas station (harbinger of doom) guy. LOL!

Have any of you seen TCitW? What did you think? Have you seen any other films that use one genre to explain another?

* Interestingly, this film was not a new project. It was filmed in 2009 originally slated for release in February 2010.

** Stop laughing, Charles.

*** Like Charisma Carpenter in “Veronica Mars” and Alyson Hannigan in “How I Met Your Mother” (along with Alexis Denisof) and Amy Acker in “Once Upon A Time” and so on.

✝ Several countries engage in sacrificial rituals according to the story arc. The United States sacrifices these 5 archetypes. It was suggested that other countries sacrifice people / archetypes salient to their culture and folklore.

+ Featured image from the promotional poster for TCitW.

I turned a corner and happened upon this... how could I NOT stop??

Just before Yule I tagged along on a business trip with my husband and spent my days wandering the greater Chicago area. I was driving along a scenic road near Northwestern University when I turned a corner and came upon a truly glorious building. A white dome full of lacey stonework in a picturesque garden setting, it had that aura of a house of worship. Being fascinated by different faiths as I am, I pulled to the side to try to figure out what it was – and if I could get inside!

Turned out it was a Bahá’í temple, one of only seven around the world and the only one in North America. And I stumbled onto it by accident while jaunting about the Chicago suburbs. Like most houses of worship, they welcome visitors, and the temple has a basement with explanations of Bahá’í’s history and core beliefs. I knew a few things about Bahá’í going in, just that (a) we disagree on the morality homosexuality, (b) they are the fourth religion descended from Judaism, after Christianity and Islam, and they therefore believe in the same monotheistic version of god, and (c) unlike other Abrahamic faiths (at least traditionally) they believe all who worship anything at all worship the essence of the same Universal God and therefore don’t condemn people who practice different faiths. In fact, as I approached the temple I noticed their pillars contained religious symbols from Paganism, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam running up the side, and in the visitor’s area a plaque explained that they did this as a welcome to people of all faiths to worship together in peace.

Yes, that's a swastika representing Paganism. The temple was built before Nazis tarnished this positive religious symbol which had been used around the globe since 10,000 BC.

The approach to the temple was impressive but the faith itself was equally beautiful (minus the whole gay rights part). Aside from the respect for differing faiths, they have several key beliefs that I appreciate:

1. Men and women are absolutely equal
2. Any form of racial, national, economic, or religious prejudice is destructive and must be overcome.
3. Each person must investigate truth for themselves
4. Science and religion are not in opposition
5. Family is a cornerstone of life
6. All people of the world are children of g/God, making us one family.

Bahá’í was foretold in 1844 in Persia when a prophet known as The Báb declared that a Messenger of God was about to arise. The Muslim leadership at the time had him imprisoned and later executed for heresy. In 1863 one of his followers, Bahá’u’lláh – the son of an aristocrat who had eschewed his heritage to follow Báb – declared himself to be the anointed one. He was imprisoned for his beliefs and while incarcerated wrote a series of letters to world leaders calling upon them to embrace peace and enter a new era of universal citizenship. When he died in 1892, he passed on the leadership of his new faith to his son, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá was released from prison (where he’d been incarcerated with his father for heresy) in 1908 and toured Europe and America spreading his father’s message of peace, social justice, gender equality, and universal harmony. The writings of Báb and Bahá’u’lláh are considered divinely inspired while the writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and other heads of the faith (they always have a spiritual leader, like the Pope) are considered reliable interpretations of the divinely inspired writings.

The grounds were gorgeous as well, lots of fountains and greenery.

About the time I had caught up on this much in the visitor’s center, they announced that church services would be beginning in the next few minutes. I gathered my things and hurried up to the temple, hoping to get a glimpse inside and interested (as always) to see what a service looks like in another faith. Photographs are not allowed inside the temple, so I didn’t take any, but if you are ever in the Chicago area and are interested in religious buildings, I highly recommend a visit – it is stunning. I was greeted upon entrance by a kindly looking man with a program, just as I had been every week growing up in Protestant services. The service itself is simply a time for meditation while rotating orators read passages from sacred Bahá’í writings. Even though I’m not much the meditation type, I had never read any Bahá’í scripture before, and so I had a nice time.

A special piece of rock? I was curious.

After services I went back down to the visitor’s area. I had noticed but not yet reached a miniature boulder on the ground that was cordoned off, and I was curious what it was. **pic** I made my way there and read the story. When the temple was being built, they were soliciting donations from Bahá’ís to support the construction. One believer had no money, but stopped by a quarry on her way to services and picked up a broken limestone that the quarrymaster was willing to give her. When ‘Abdu’l-Bahá arrived to dedicate the foundations of the temple, her stone was chosen to be the cornerstone in reminder both that “The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief corner stone.” (Psalms: 118: 22) and that all of us can make an impact if we are willing to make the effort.

All in all it was a fascinating visit that had me singing John Lennon’s “Imagine” for the remainder of the day. I respect greatly what the Bahá’ís are doing, even if I’m jaded enough to think universal harmony is not a viable goal. (I guess that’s the Viking in me.) But their quest for equality, their social work towards human rights regardless of race or gender are admirable, and their hospitality to a Pagan are most impressive. (Now if they can just get over that one prejudice…) I’m glad I happened upon a temple and got to learn about a religion I had little concept of before!

Have you ever been to a Bahá’í worship service (they apparently have congregations all over the place that meet in homes or community centers, despite only have seven temples)? Are there any other unique religions that you’ve had a chance to encounter and could tell us about?

+ Featured Image: Photograph of the Greatest Name at the top of the interior of the Baha’i House of Worship in Wilmette, Illinois. (Where I was.) By Sean M. Scully, released into the public domain. Like Heathenry, Bahá’í considers 9 to be their most sacred number. They often use a 9 pointed star as a symbol (as here), and all their temples have nine sides. The caligraphy reads: “Yá Bahá’u'l-Abhá”, which translates to “”O Glory of the Most Glorious!”

The supermoon in 2010.

I promised to tell you about this event a few months ago. Come Saturday the moon will be in greater proportion than normal, 12 to 14% larger and up to 30% brighter. Tomorrow, May 5, 2012 at 10:35 CST USA brings us a supermoon (there is at least one every year). A supermoon occurs when the moon is in perigee* — that is the moon is as close as it gets to Earth during its monthly circle (or rather elipse) around us — at the same time the moon is full. A few years ago, we were treated to a rare event of a super harvest moon. I remember the night very well. It looked like the moon was floating above my back yard. It was magnificent.

Father moon will be super big tonight and Sunday night, too. I could go into super (moon) detail about how this works, but I’ll let NASA do that. They created and shared a terrific video on the May 2012 supermoon. Indeed, the only thing that could make this video better is if Neil deGrasse Tyson had narrated it, because he is my future husband.**

Eta Aquarid meteor as seen from Georgia.

“When no moon is in the sky to spoil the show, you typically see 10 to 20 meteors per hour at mid-northern latitudes and perhaps twice that number in the Southern Hemisphere, for the Eta Aquarid shower. This shower is like most others in that the best time to watch tends to be during the wee hours before dawn.” — Earthsky.org

Be sure to look up the next few nights. It’s sure to be a beautiful sight!

* “Peri” is Greek in origin and means close or near. “Gee” is derived from Gaea, or Gaia, the Greek goddess of Earth.

** Although he might be my past husband — a husband in a past life I mean. If anyone on the gods’ green Earth is a Time Lord, it’s this badass.

*** My astrological sign!

**** Halley’s Comet is visible to us every 75 to 76 years. The last time we saw it was in 1986, so it will be a long while before she swings by again.

+ Featured image, Supermoon from NASA International Space News.

So, I’ve been sitting on some coolness for awhile now while contracts got signed and calendars got set, and it’s been sort of killing me not to share.

I got a book contract! By the end of this year, I will be A PUBLISHED FICTION AUTHOR!

Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to be an author. I wrote short stories when I was in elementary (mostly about unicorns), my middle school lunch breaks were spent working on my first magnum opus (a modern Anne of Green Gables), and high school saw my free time spent writing short romances and mysteries. My friends were always joking about catching me with a pen in my hand and I even had my first pseudonym figured out: Charity Kay. (I sold as Jax Garren, but I still have an affection for my first pen name!) As much as I loved to write, though, I didn’t take it seriously, as in learning the ins and outs of the industry. I just loved starting millions of stories (and finishing one or two).

During our photo shoot we found this guy painted on the wall of a farmer's market and had to take our own "Jax and the Beast" photos Is't he cute??

A few years ago — spurred on by a friend and the general notion that as I couldn’t seem to stop writing, I might as well TRY to get paid for it, — I joined my local chapter of Romance Writers of America and started contemplating writing as a career, not just a hobby. Now we’ve all heard stories of people (*cough* Stephenie Meyers *cough*) who dreamed up a story, wrote it down, and became bazillionaires. This is not my story. After four years of studying craft, writing bad books, rejections, writing good books, and more rejections, my sister and I had one too many cocktails of our own concoction and started talking about how we would rewrite that old Ron Perlman/Linda Hamilton TV series Beauty and the Beast (*cough* not make him look like a lion *cough*). A month later I had a completed short story inspired by that conversation, and I submitted it to Carina Press, an electronic first division of Harlequin Enterprises.* The story was read by Angela James, the head editor at Carina, and she wrote me back to ask if I would be willing to expand it into novella length and resubmit. I wrote a letter back that went something along the lines of, “Um, yes. *nods head vigorously*”

Suffice it to say, I now have a three book deal! My first release, How Beauty Met the Beast goes on sale in November, the second How Beauty Saved the Beast is set for February, and the final story How Beauty Loved the Beast will be released in May of 2013. Hauk (“Hawk” – short for Wesley Haukon), the hero, is a Heathen (of course!) and there’s magic and warring secret societies, Greek and Norse mythology, and a phoenix tattoo all rolled into the fairy tale of Beauty and the Beast. It’s very Pagan! And as it gets closer to the release date, I can’t tell you how much I would appreciate it if you lovely ladies and gentlemen of The Realm would help me spread the word!

Here’s the query letter I sent to Carina to describe the story:

How Beauty Met the Beast is modern fairy tale set in Austin, Texas.

Beauty… Jolie Benoit, the youngest daughter of a media baron billionaire, grew up in a world of luxurious hypocrisy and beauty at all costs. Now the black sheep of her family, she lives a bohemian life in Austin, dancing in a burlesque troupe by night and working on a doctorate in literature by day. When a scarred man introduces her to a magical world worth fighting for, she must learn to reject appearances to find the fulfilling life she’s always dreamed of.

The Beast… Five years ago Sgt. Wesley Haukon (Hauk) was scarred beyond recognition by a fire that was no accident. He doesn’t remember what happened (his first of many blackouts), but as the commanding officer and only survivor, the blame landed on him. A fugitive now, he has joined the Underlight, a colony of anarchists that live beneath the streets of Austin, Texas and fight the oppressive Order of Ananke, best friend of multi-national corporations and maintaining the status quo.

When agents of Ananke attack Jolie outside her theater, Hauk rescues her, blacks out, and wakes up in the morning with her in his bed – and no memory of how she got into the Underlight. His friends are suspicious that she’s a spy, but the scarred soldier can’t help falling for the rebellious heiress – even though no woman has ever seen past his ravaged face. When they learn that Jolie’s niece was kidnapped by the same group that attacked her, Hauk risks his place in the Underlight to help Jolie rescue her… and to give his scarred self a chance to win his beauty’s heart.

How Beauty Met the Beast is the first in a trilogy of novellas that chronicles the love story of Hauk and Jolie as they unravel the mystery of Hauk’s past and fight for the Underlight against the forces of Ananke.

I’ll post more when I get the cover (we’ll do a cover reveal!) and again when it gets close to the release date. I’m SO excited. I’ve been dreaming about this my whole life, and it’s amazing to finally get my foot in the door. I have so many books in my head that I want to write, and I look at this as the first step in the career of my heart.

* Yes, Harlequin is the “dime-store novel” publisher, but they have several divisions that publish different things. Carina is their electronic first division that does what’s called “single title” books – or regular book-books, not series lines. Harlequin launched the careers of Nora Roberts, Suzanne Brockman, Linda Howard, Debbie Macomber and so many other awesome, NYT bestselling genre writers. I’m thrilled to be working with one of the most powerful and profitable publishers in the industry!

+ Featured Image: My official author photo!! Taken by the illustrious and multi-talented k!

But then I started thinking critically about how I was learning about Paganism. I found things online, but I knew they weren’t always reliable. I read books, but the information wasn’t always researched. Whether I was spending my time online or my money on books, I was learning from others I didn’t know individually and couldn’t talk to personally. I began to question if that was really the best way for me to learn. Did I want to learn from people I’d never met? From people I’d never know?

I am on several local and national Pagan email lists, and I hear about face-to-face classes a lot more now than I did when I was a newbie.* It’s exposure to this kind of information that has caused me to rethink my stance on fee-for-service learning (along with my own aforementioned experiences). Also, I’ve come to understand that people who share their faith through fee-for-service often have to charge a fee to cover costs of space and materials. Unlike Abrahamic religions, Pagans don’t always have a brick and mortar space to call home. Sometimes we have to gather in faith in private homes, public spaces or even private spaces that must be rented. [Sometimes we choose to gather in these places.] In addition, I’ve noticed many classes are offered on a sliding scale or pay-what-you-can basis — so these instructors are not trying to price gouge students or dupe Pagan newbies and a quick buck.** For my part, I am interested in learning about various types and aspects of Paganism from people I trust. And I value their time enough and expertise enough to pay for it. If this describes you, too, here are a few helpful hints on finding a good class on Paganism.

Choosing a Class on Paganism

1. How do you find a good instructor? Get connected.
If you are new to Paganism, new to your city or new to taking classes (face-to-face or online), I recommend you start in two places. Look and see if your area has a local Pagan Newswire Collective Bureau and make contact with post authors. Find your local Unitarian Universalist Congregation and make contact with the ministry. Anyone associated with the PNC or the UU should be well-tuned and well connected in your local Pagan community. They can probably direct you to a good teacher or find someone who can. You might also try asking the Oracle for “Pagan groups <your city>” to see if there are any Meetups or Yahoo Groups you could join or send inquiries to. The main piece of advice here is talk to other, local Pagans and ask for recommendations on teachers and classes.***

2. How much should you pay? Price compare.
Whether you are taking a class online or in person, be mindful of how much you are being charged. I can’t give you an exact range of what is an appropriate course fee because prices vary depending on whether or not they include materials (such as selected readings [books, journals] or instruments for spiritual work [candles, wine/mead]). I recommend you price compare to figure out if you are being charged fairly. If you are looking at local, face-to-face classes, review course offerings from several instructors and compare costs. If you are taking a course online, review course offerings from known entities such as Cherry Hill Seminary or Ardantane, or really any site that posts their price list and appears to be current and maintained. (I don’t recommend using sites that are outdated as a resources for any purpose.) If the course you are considering costs more than Cherry Hill or Ardantane offerings (sans supplies), that should be a red flag. If you are going to a retreat or a festival, that is an entirely different story. Well, not exactly, you should still get connected to make sure the retreat is legitimate and you should still compare prices with other Pagan retreats.

Regardless of how you find your teacher or your class, know that once you are in the course or at the retreat, your comfort matters. For guidelines on how your interactions with other Pagans and Pagan groups should be, consult the Seeker’s Bill of Rights (scroll to the bottom on this link) and the Advanced Bonewits’ Cult Danger Evaluation Framework (ABCDEF). You should never feel compromised or coerced. Any person or group that makes you feel that way is not a good place for you (or for anyone).

What do you think, Realm? Do you think its okay to pay for classes about your faith? Have any non-Pagan readers ever taken (and paid for) a class on your religion?

* Interestingly, I haven’t read or heard of a class on Heathenry. This may be because there are “original” texts on Germanic and Norse traditions, making Heathenry more a reconstructed than constructed faith.

** That’s not to suggest there is anything wrong with making money as an instructor of Pagan classes. Unlike followers of the Abrahamic faiths, Pagans are not expected to prosthelytize or required to evangelize. Those who feel a calling to teach are not prohibited by any spiritual guidelines from making a profit while doing so. Jax explained this in detail in an earlier post.

*** There are a wide range of classes available, from reading tarot to learning runes to spiritual meditation. I recommend finding a good teacher first and then finding out if they offer a class that appeals to you. A good teacher will usually be able to refer you to another good teacher on a specific topic.

+ Featured image, “Learning Together” sculpted by Ray Castell, photographed by Ale Okada.

After you’re all done laughing (or groaning or whatever it is you’re doing), please take pity on the teachers here. I taught high school in the state of Texas for eight years and I know the ridiculousness that school districts are dragged to for some special interest group’s weird cause. It’s my state that led the charge to rewrite history textbooks to teach Dave Barton’s snake oil history which claims America was founded as a New Zion – a Dominionist Christian nation. (For those unfamiliar with that controversy, Barton is not a little right of center; he’s peddling full on revisionist history.)

Jason had a brilliant suggestion over at The Hunt. (I swear he didn’t pay us to shill for him.***) Since Teaching the Controversy is all about being inclusive, which is all The Religious Right is really asking us to be (just ask them), we should make sure we’re REALLY inclusive and teach many of the “theories” of creation world mythology has to offer. Like how sea animals, in an attempt to save a drowning woman, pulled up sediment from the bottom of the ocean and built the North American continent on the back of a turtle (Iroquois – see right) or how an eagle threw an emu egg into the sky and the great god lit it on fire to become the sun (Aboriginal) or how the universe first formed when the plane of fire and the plane of ice collided, bringing forth life (Norse).

Well, it just so happens that one of my favorite things to do as a teacher was design lesson plans, and I miss it! I am making a serious offer here. If any of you is a teacher or knows a teacher who is forced to Teach the Controversy I offer to design a lesson plan to help you include the Norse creation theory in your “inclusive” classroom. (It starts all poetic with fire and ice, but then we get a sacred cow who licks the first god out of salty ice blocks and a giant that births twin ogres out of his armpit. Good stuff!) I can make it from ten to thirty minutes long and will include visual aids and a pre- and post-test; I just need the grade level so I can use age-appropriate language.Please give me at least a week to complete it in case I have a busy schedule at the time you need it. The lesson will be emailed to you (and posted on this site – I’m all over open source) in all seriousness with no snark and will describe the Norse version of creation as a serious theory of contention for how the world began.

Hey, if you’re teaching mythology as science, why not teach mine, too? The sad truth is, we have seen over and over that this “inclusiveness” the soon-to-be-renamed (see ** footnote) Religious Right keeps screaming about is no longer important to them when Pagan viewpoints are asked to be included as well. Not that any Pagan I’ve ever met takes our creation stories literally; by the same token I don’t personally know any Christians who believe the world was literally created in seven days, dinosaurs are a hoax, and the first woman was formed from the first man’s rib.

Here’s the thing. I’m religious. I believe in gods. I believe man was intentionally created and the universe is not just an absurd happenstance. I don’t, however, think my children learning evolution in science class conflicts with any of that. Science and religion shouldn’t conflict. Ever. When science shows something in conflict with my religious beliefs, my religious beliefs need to adapt. Science does not need to adapt to me. Religion, as I see it, is the skin of personal truth we stretch around the bones of scientific facts. All of us religious folk need to be okay with that, because those insisting that facts aren’t facts make the the rest of us look like idiots. Let’s stick together on this one, okay?

* TheScott is also smart. He also does CrossFit six times a week and can deadlift 405lbs. So let’s all keep my fawning adulation of another man to ourselves, shall we?

** I propose a contest for a renaming of The Religious Right into Princess-speak. We have The Oracle = Google, The Grand Overseer = Facebook, The Realm = all of you lovely readers… what shall we call the Religious Right? Something with trolls maybe? Nazgûl?I leave it to you, Realm. What shall we dub the crazy zealots who insist on forcing their churches into our schools and courtrooms? Christians, we’re not talking about you – we’re talking about the whackadoos who continue to give you a bad name in the press, so feel free to join in the naming fun! I bet there are quite a few of you with some creative nicknames…

***On a completely unrelated note, Jason, thanks for that black market eye of newt. We used the Friday the 13th energy last week to empower a badass hex. I mean, a spell of love and happiness. [...yes, this is a joke.]

+ Featured Image: Tortue sénégalaise au village des tortues près de Rufisque by fr.zil (This guy would totally carry the world for you.)

“The National Day of Silence is a day of action in which students across the country vow to take a form of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in schools.” — DayofSilence.org

Students from middle school to college will hold their tongue in an effort to hold the line against verbal abuse in school.

“Founded in 1996, the Day of Silence has become the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.” — DayofSilence.org

The princesses encourage you to discuss bullying with your children and friends and help them understand the long-term damage it can cause to individuals and families. If your children are mature enough, you may want to take them to see Bully. Just be prepared to talk with them about the film and help them process the stories shared in that narrative.

We also ask that you share your stories of bullying in the comments. Were you ever bullied by a peer or by an adult? Please share your story!

I volunteered at the Texas Burlesque Festival this weekend as part of a writing project I’m working on (I love my job). TBF is a three night extravaganza of dancers from all over the nation and the pasties that keep their forbidden bits hidden. I haven’t interacted with the burlesque community in the past (write what you know… yeah, I don’t do that…), but I’d done basic research to get the story going. I knew that burlesque originally was a satirical song and dance comedy show, often ribald in nature, that over the 20th century morphed into the costumed striptease act we knowtoday. I’d watched videos of the “Queen of Buresque” Dita Von Teese, famous for her signature act involving a giant martini glass and of Catherine D’Lish, who’s famous for her act on a web. Long ago I’d seen Gypsy, the musical based on the life of Gypsy Rose Lee, one of the most famous burlesque dancers of the 20th century (you can see her in the video to the right doing a very clean and safe-for-work version of her routine “The Psychology of a Stripteaser”). For the book, though, I wanted to get a look backstage, talk to some dancers, and get a feel for bulesque community.

My first impression was how nice everybody is. I volunteered, so I was helping out – manning a slide projector, moving props, running errands for the Assistant Stage Manager, etc. But the coordinators were wonderful about giving me a different job every night so I could see different sides of the theater and work with different people. Everyone was welcoming, happy to talk about their work, and answered any and all questions I had. Other things that immediately impressed me were how tightly knit the community is and how much everyone cared about not just current trends, but the history of the dance and honoring past icons. The participants all had a genuine love for what they do as an art form.

Another thing that really struck me was the audience. Getting a view of and vibe off the audience were the other main reasons I wanted to see a live show. The audience was slightly more female than male. The age range was incredibly diverse (all adult of course!)* and people came dressed in everything from casual jeans to their corsets and costumes. The best part about the audience was how enthusiastic they were, without being, for lack of a better work, skanky about it.

Coco Lectric by Kaylin Idora Photography - Isn't she cute?

The positivity coming from everyone – on stage, backstage, and audience – was the biggest thing I took away from the experience. The last night before the show I interviewed Coco Lectric, the founder of Austin’s Jigglewatts Burlesque Revue and the talent coordinator for the TBF, backstage in the dressing room. She said one of her favorite things about burlesque is that, unlike with her previous dance experiences in ballet and jazz, it was a non-competitive environment that encourages diversity of look and expression. She pointed around the changing room where there were dozens of women (and a few men) in various stages of costume change, and asked if I’d heard a single woman worry about how her ass looked. I had to think about it for a minute before I realized I hadn’t heard a single woman do that – or say anything else disparaging or even preoccupied with their looks. Over 100 performers, mostly women, mostly naked – in public – and not a single remark about body image. It was refreshingly healthy.

A theme of embracing your own beauty and sexuality ran throughout most of myinterviews. Many of the women talked about the liberation they felt the first time they performed and realized they could be (mostly) naked in front of a crowd and be proud of how they looked. Coco and Ray Gunn, a male burlesque performer** whose kick ass routine took the roof off the house, both talked about the burlesque fan base. Both said that their most supportive advocates were usually straight people of the same gender and gay people of the opposite gender – people who, by default, weren’t there to be turned on by the performer. Instead of there to ogle, people come because they feel empowered by the performance. As the night wore on, I agreed with that feeling. After viewing over 100 g-stringed butts of various proportions, I have come to the startling conclusion that what I have always considered the somewhat unfortunate shape of my derriere is not that unusual and can in fact be quite fetching when shaken with attitude. Burlesque dance is all about the notion that beautiful and sexy are what you do and what you project more than the shape you were born into. Everyone has the right to be beautiful and sexy if they embrace who they are.

This sex-positive attitude is something burlesque and Paganism have in common. Every Pagan religion I’ve ever looked at sees sex as a perfectly natural and positive part of being human, and we don’t have restrictions (other than the general life rule of “use good judgement”) regarding contraception, orientation, or waiting for marriage or other life events (other than being of a reasonable age) to become sexually active. Currently in our culture and in our politics we have a tension regarding the place for sex in society, which was recently highlighted in the fight over birth control and Rush Limbaugh’s atrocious comments. Though rarely in as tacky a fashion as Limbaugh, I find that often people equate a sex-positive ideology with over-sexualization, and they are not the same thing.

For an easy example in media, horror movies are infamous for this distinction. As Randy says in Scream, “Sex equals death, OK?” Sex scenes are often used to titillate, but the hot young things who have sex almost always get killed off in short order. That’s not sex-positive, that’s using sex as a selling point and then punishing characters for not adhering to conservative morals, pissing off both negative and sex-positive viewpoints respectively with one trope.

Sex-positive, on the other hand, takes pride in humans as sexual creatures. It treats men and women equally (as opposed to the “men are studs and women are sluts” double standard). Unlike much media today, it doesn’t tell us we should be having sex, but that we should take shame entirely out of the decision when choosing to or not to have it. In other words, sex-positive doesn’t prescribe sex, it banishes shame.

I had a wonderful time this weekend at the festival, and I want to give a shout out to Coco Lectric, Ray Gunn, Jolie Goodnight, Shannon Doah, and Kristen Nekyia for being so kind in talking to me.*** I highly recommend burlesque shows to anybody who’s got an interest.

Have any of y’all been to a burlesque show?

* The acts had age diversity, too! An audience favorite and winner of “Most Original” was The Stripping Granny, a 78-year-old woman with a hilarious song and tap shuffle about sex and growing old. She kept most of her clothes on, but she did remove a muumuu to reveal a flapper dress and and the end she turned around and flipped it up to show her bright red briefs.You go, Stripping Granny! May we all have that much spunk at 78!

** I’ve heard male burlesque referred to as “boylesque” before, but Ray said that among male performers it’s a controversial term. The issue he spoke about most fervently was the community ideal of creating an environment of gender equality, and to him that means going by the same name. That standard of equality is also why male burlesque dancers wear pasties as well. According to Ray, if the women had to do it, the men would to!

*** I also want to give a shout out to Jigglewatt Goldie Candela. She took one look at me, said she knew me from somewhere (she looked familiar to me, too, but I assumed I’d just seen her picture while I was researching burlesque). The next night she came back with it figured out – she was a student of mine the very first year I taught school. I’ve run into ex-students before, but seeing Goldie on stage in a g-string is easily the most memorable reunion I’ve had! It’s always good to see and hear from an ex-student and find out they’re happy and doing well – no matter what they’re doing. She’s a great dancer!

+ Featured Image: The Jigglewatts (DSC_0520) by Piratepenpen (Erica Kuschel). From left to right, that’s Coco Lectric, Pearl Lux, Ruby Joule, Ruby Lamb, and Jolie Ampere Goodnight.