Let’s talk resolutions! You know you want to!

Do you want to: Lose weight? Quit smoking? Get out of debt?

I have a solution that will work for all of those-

Death!*

If you don’t like that solution then the opposite is:

LIVE!

It’s that simple! Now go live a Happy New Year!

Cheers,

Paige

*I do not endorse death as a real solution, only as a theme for Halloween!

After looking back at my zombie fun at Nuit Blanche, The Toronto Zombie Walk and Halloween, I think that the new Xmas colours should be orange and black.

I mean, it would be much easier to decorate because you wouldn’t have to take much stuff down from October.

Who’s with me?!

Anyone?

Well it was just a thought!

I wonder if I could dress as an elf with those contacts? White is an Xmas colour after all…

Happy Holidays everyone,

Love,

Zombie Elf

For none actors it’s the one time of year that you can be whatever you want-even something dead! I went as a dead school girl.

We (my fun friends and I) did something a little different this year for Halloween-we went on a Halloween cruise. It was even more different than we expected because it turned out to be a single’s cruise!

Out of the 8 people in my group, only 2 were single but that didn’t deter my positive posse from having a good time (the cruise was actually 1/2 singles and 1/2 couples). Fav memory: dancing in platforms while being pitched to and fro due to high waves-thankfully we went back into the harbour).

If you are looking for something out of the ordinary to do, I highly recommend a Halloween cruise (but beware - as I discovered- booze and boats don’t mix, I think it’s like alcohol and airplanes: it takes less for more of an effect).

Anyway, by the end of the night I was walking like a newly dead undead person-I had no gross motor skills (or were they gross motor skills? maybe I’ll blame it on the platform shoes!)

Other noteworthy costume pieces: Halloween is a really good time to try things like tinted contacts!

I loved mine so much that I want to wear them all the time (although I think the contacts really freak people out-no one looked me in the eye-or wait -was it only men that weren’t looking me in the eye?)

Either way, to get yourself a pair check out: Clearly Contacts. They come in prescription or non-prescription. The ones I bought are called “White Out”.

and black out……

Zombies came out by the thousands. I think it was a zombie-walking-record-breaking day. I only wish I could have also been one of the onlookers inside  the stores as the zombies walked by, it must have been quite the sight. There was every kind of zombie that you could imagine, every shape, every size and every kind of death!

I had 3 leeches on my face and a worm coming out of my hand. I walked with my arms up and out in front of me and the effect was great. My little boring worm friend wiggled and jiggled and was even grossing me out! This would be a great effect to be hanging out of your face (and then your arms wouldn’t get tired either). Now I really understand what people mean by not wanting to be worm food!

Thanks to Jennifer at Cinema Secrets for all of her help and of course thanks to my friend Rachelle for her awesome make up job (both on this and my construction worker zombie).

I can’t wait for next year-now to figure out a costume….

Cheers,

Paige

A week ago today I entered a video contest for the Discovery Channel. I actually entered 3 times (with 3 different videos).

The first one you can find on the Film Snacks film page, click on “All Films” “Page 9″ “Message In A Bottle” (upper right corner).

My next entry you can see by clicking on my video page (episode #17).

My last entry (Clover’s Eco Art) you can see on my site by clicking on my video page (episode #16).

Each of my entries is quite different and I’m not sure exactly what they’re looking for so I’ll just have to sit and wait,

just like at the Oscars…

Cheers,

Paige

It was to promote Nuit Blanche and the installation that I will be volunteering in this Saturday October 4th: Zombies in Condoland.

If anyone ever tells you that being a zombie is a glamorous job-it isn’t! I had gotten blood in my eye (fake blood in case you were worried) and my hair was all crusty and stuck to my face (in the blood) but to top it all off - it was pouring rain (yes we were outside)! It was a live shoot so we had to wait around until it was time for the weather spots.

Now a real live zombie (is that an oxymoron?) would not be bothered by rain, but I was cold wet and tired. However I must report, this did not dampen my spirits (too bad I wasn’t playing a ghost, that would have been a good pun). On the contrary, I used it to help in my zombie acting.

I used my frozen nonfunctional limbs to create a realistic zombie walk and my unfocused gaze came about because I had removed the prescription contact from the eye that had gotten the blood in it (my photo was photo shopped-I didn’t have white contacts).

I think in my next horror character career (whenever that will be) I will pick something easier-like a vampire, then all I would need is white face paint and a set of teeth.

Vampires may suck (I didn’t get a chance to use a good pun [now that's an oxymoron] so I used a bad one) but at least they are simpler (and they can wear capes in the rain).

Cheers,

Paige

Werewolves are known for stalking prey to fulfill some sort of carnivorous appetite. I doubt the image of a werewolf hunting a block of tofu would send tremors of fear through anyone.

Maybe I should switch the signs around and be the skeleton. It seems to be the only sign that isn’t out to eat or destroy something, plus vegetarians don’t have any meat-and either do skeletons!

Cheers,

Paige

So I thought, “What could those signs be?”  Well first, with most astrology (Western, Chinese etc)  there are usually 12 sign. Western signs are a month long and Chinese are a year long but how can all the people born the same year (or month for that matter) be similar?

I think that my signs will be much shorter. It would be much more precise that way. I think 3 hour time sections are good, therefore I would have 8 signs. Now I looked up the number 8 on Wikipedia and I really think I’m on to something here.

Spiders (very Halloweenish) have 8 legs (and Octopus have 8 arms) and the 8th sign of the Western zodiac is Scorpio (the Scorpian-also very Halloweenish).

I could go on and on so just read the Wikipedia site yourself.

Now I just have to name my new signs. Okay how about:

Witch/Warlock: Midnight-3pm

Vampire: 3am-6am

Ogre: 6am-9am

Zombie: 9am-Noon

Monster/Creature: Noon-3pm

Skeleton: 3pm-6pm

Mummy: 6pm-9pm

Werewolf: 9pm-Midnight

What can I say? I’m brilliant and apparently (by my signs) I’m also a werewolf-I better look into laser hair removal…

Cheers,

Paige

On Friday night I went to see Pontypool (directed by Bruce McDonald-a fellow Canadian!) as part of the Toronto International Film Festival. Pontypool is a movie that had-you guessed it-zombies in it (although it’s not a traditional zombie movie).

On October 4th I will be volunteering at Nuit Blanche in an installment called “Zombies in Condoland“. Nuit Blanche goes from sundown to sunrise and I will get to be a zombie the whole time-how cool is that?

On October 19th I will be taking part in Toronto’s Zombiewalk. This will be my first year but I have always wanted to participate. I would love it if this “parade (of the dead)” could somehow work into a yearly Halloween parade for Toronto. New York has a parade, we should too!

Where did my zombie career start? Well to be honest I don’t actually like zombie movies. They scare me-how do you kill what’s already dead? One of the worst nightmares I ever had was about zombies (I still remember it to this day).

It made me realize that to conquer my fear I had to get inside the mind of a zombie. So I did that-in 2006 I worked as a zombie at Canada’s Wonderland (now back then it was called Fearfest-now it’s called Halloween Haunt-small point but somehow Fearfest just sounds scarier).

Anyway it made me realize that there is nothing inside of a zombie mind-that’s why they’re zombies. This realization made me imbrace my inner zombie and no longer be afraid ( I also went to see Evil Dead The Musical -created in Toronto by Canadians-and that helped me see the fun musical side of zombies.)

So here I am-2008, it’s the year of the rat in the Chinese zodiac but it’s the year of the zombie for me!

Cheers!

Paige

When I was born, Paige wasn’t that common a name. In fact, I was 18 before I actually met another Paige. When I was about 11 a woman told me that she knew a boy named Paige but that was ok -because he was a boy.

I don’t mind if I meet another female Paige but she has to be younger-I have to have had the name first, but then again I didn’t have the name first. My mother told me that I was named after an exercise/fitness host on television named Paige Palmer (I have always found this ironic because I am not fit).

Then in the 80’s the name Paige became popular because of the night time soap opera Knot’s Landing. Nicolette Sheridan played a character named Paige Matheson. Finally the show went off the air and I thought that I was safe but then there was:

The character Paige Matthews in Charmed and the character Paige Clark in Ellen (but she was played by Joely Fisher-also a red head and funny-so that makes it ok)!

There is even a Canadian character (I know, I’m as shocked as you are): the Canadian TV series Degrassi: The Next Generation had a character named Paige Michalchuk.

Just as one show is phasing out, a new one comes along to replace it.

Then there’s Paige Davis on the designing show Trading Spacing but her first name isn’t even Paige-it’s Mindy-they wanted something spicier for the show, at least I should take that as a compliment.

She wrote a book and called it Paige by Paige now this was almost the final straw because I always thought of writing a book and I was going to call it Paige on Pages or Paige’s Pages or Paige Book or something (you can see why it never got off the ground).

There’s a novel with a red headed Paige, The Praetorian File, a Paige Harrington Mystery by Allan McLeod (I haven’t “red” it).

My sister informed me that she has a neighbour whose dog is named Paige-that’s going too far, does anyone name their dog Lisa or Jennifer? I think not! (I’ll probably get emails from people who named their dog Lisa or Jennifer-is nothing sacred)!

Then of course there were the jokes growing up: what page are you? Can I call you book? Paige?-You mean like a piece of paper? The only thing I have in common with a piece of paper is that I’m white and sometimes I have lines (as an actor)!

Well to get everyone back I’ve decided that if I ever go to a party that requires name tags I won’t fill mine in -cause then I’d be a blank Paige!

Is it a surprise that I have a sense of humour with a name like Paige?

I thank everyone that ever teased me, especially the Lisa’s and the Jennifer’s- whether they were dogs or not…

Cheers,

Paige

I have no idea, let’s start with something easier, how did I become funny?

Well for being a funny female, of course one has to mention the influences of great comedic women like Carol Burnett, and Madelaine Khan. I always wanted to be the next Carol Burnett (what little funny girl didn’t). I would have even settled for being Vicki Lawrence (yes she was good too but it wasn’t her name in the show title).

I was also influenced by The Muppets. I loved Statler and Waldorf. Now you probably thought that Fozzie Bear would have been an influence because he did stand up comedy but you’d be wrong, I could never get past those bad puns! I must say it’s great with today’s technology to be able to go back and see those old episodes (thank you youtube).

My first memory of being funny was one day in class (I don’t remember what grade but I was young) the teacher was taking attendance, everyone was saying, “Present” when their name was called. When the teacher called out my name I said, “Gift”, everyone laughed, I wasn’t trying to be funny, I mistook the meaning of present-and the rest as they say is history.

I (of course) never fessed up to my error (until now that is).

So my sense of humour started with a pun (maybe Fozzie influenced me more than I care to admit),

“Wocka Wocka Wocka”

I mean “Cheers”

Paige

Ps “You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.”
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

But then I realized that I am a presence! I am mysterious like….

…The Shadow or

…like Charlie in Charlie’s Angels, oh that’s so cool!

or like Kit in Knight Rider, oh that was the ultimate, mysterious with an accent!

But wait, they had voices but all I have is my blog and the text that fills it, so I am a presence like…….

the subtitles in a foreign film…….

distracting, annoying and usually making no sense,

Oh well, mom always said I had a face for radio anyway!

Paige

My usual April Fool’s Day joke was to switch the salt and the pepper into the opposite containers. It was an easy gag. I did this for years. Finally when my parents caught on and would expect it, I wouldn’t do it anymore. It was like Russian spice roulette every April 1st after that.

My favourite April Fool’s Day memory was from when I was in grade 6. I had the idea to dress up in costume and go to school (who knows why). My girlfriend/neighbour and I dressed up as “women” (we wore bras and wigs and stuffed them-the bras not the wigs, we had hair at that age at least! ).

It was raining that day so we were driven and were saved having to walk to school in the required womanly high heels. Also because it was raining we got to go directly into the school and not have to wait out in the school yard on display.

Well everyone was just fascinated by our attire. They all wanted to try on our wigs and our shoes (I think the bras were off limits). We were the hit of the day except someone informed me that if I didn’t have everything off by noon then I would be the fool (this was the rule apparently).

We finished class at 11:45am and I had at least a 10 minute walk home. My terror began when I realized that walking in heels would take me longer (I was only 11-I had neither the gait nor the balance for high heels remember!).

I tried to think, “Could we get picked up? Should I take the shoes off and run? Would I make it home?” I was frozen with panic-I didn’t want to be A FOOL!

I was 11. I came to school wearing an old rat’s nest of a wig of my mother’s, too big high heeled shoes and a stuffed bra under my shirt. I probably looked like some sort of drugged out transvestite prostitute. It was too late, I was a fool already.

But I was an April Fool-so it was OK

Stuff that in your bra and smoke it!

Cheers,
Paige

The show was a lot of fun and I think people really enjoyed it!

Stay tuned to see if we dig Uncle Jimmy up so that we can do it all over again in the future!

Cheers,

Paige

Mother Nature was mad about something! I think it was the worst snow storm this year so far!

I want to thank those people that braved the storm to come out. It was an enjoyable night!

Cheers,

Paige

There is something very special about performing LIVE!  An audience makes all the difference: their energy and their reactions.

My strength as a performer is improvisation so needless to say I don’t script what I will be saying. I just like to create in the moment.

I love Crystal because she’s a story teller. She can ramble to her heart’s content and never really have a point but somehow she always manages to find one (usually it’s to pay her).

I hope if you have the time you will come out and meet Crystal. She predicts that you’ll have fun!

Cheers,

Paige