photo credit: hunterseakerhk

Not surprisingly, our son reacts more favorably when we take this approach. If there’s one thing a toddler doesn’t like to hear, it’s the word “NO”. When you tell your child they can’t do something, it’s up to them to figure out what they can do; a young child doesn’t have the capacity to figure that out on their own, so they are more likely to act out.

Telling our son what he can do has made all the difference in the world. When we say “We keep our hands to ourselves” he knows exactly what’s expected of him. “We sit on the couch” is much more understandable than “Don’t stand on the couch”. By including an acceptable action (sitting), we’re implicitly excluding actions we don’t want him doing (like jumping, dancing or standing).

Aside from our son’s improved behaviour, we’re finding the positivity floats into other areas of our lives with our langing shifting to phrases like “We should get something else” rather than “We can’t afford that”. Overall, it’s improved our moods and reactions to everything around us; the change has been extraordinary.

Next time you’re about to tell your child not to dump sand out of the sandbox, take a second to think about the way you’re expressing your wishes. You’re really asking is for your child to keep the sand inside the sandbox. Before long, this kind of thinking and the benefits it can bring will come naturally.

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1. How a Thermos Makes Bottle Time Easier

We had this delima and decided on a few things we wanted to accomplish: First, don’t surprise the child with a new sibling – start talking about it as soon as possible; second, don’t move the child to a new room when the baby comes because it will confuse them and make them feel like they’ve lost their comfort zone; finally, make the child feel included in the new baby process so they (hopefully) aren’t resentful when you come home with your new bundle of joy.

Preparations

Dylan Waking Up from the first nap in his new room

It took about two weeks to do the room since I had a number of repairs to make and wasn’t in a particular rush; it was a fun adventure for him to see the unfolding progress. Finally, I moved his crib and belongings over and let him take a nap in the crib. He was a little confused at first b ut because the situation was non-confrontational it ended up being quite relaxinbg for him.

Next I started on the nursery; tearing down the old decorations and painting it bright and girly. My son was more upset over these changes because it was starting to hit home that the older, smaller room was no longer his. At some point it hit home for him – the change was real.

Meanwhile my wife’s tummy was getting bigger and she was beginning to transition into carrying him less. That was a harder battle to fight because he began to sense that something big was happening and he wanted to be comforted; however, we knew she soon would be physically unable to spend time carrying him – it turned out to be a good decision in the end.

The Delivery

When it was finally time for the new baby to arrive, I had my mother come down and watch my son so we could focus our energy on the labour and know that Dylan was safe. My wife’s parents would also have been more than happy to take him for us, but it was important to us that he remain home in his comfortable environment. We’re very fortunate to have such a close and supportive family.

Dylan and Katrina Meet

Aside from meeting his sister, we made sure to have a present ready for him so he would know he was still important to us. Overall it was a very smooth experience.

Settling In

It wasn’t all fun and games, of course. Once we brought the baby home there was an adjustment period. It was one thing to meet his sister in the hospital but Dylan wasn’t so pleased with the situation once there was a screaming baby sharing the house (and mom and dad) with him. Three days away from his parents took a toll and while he was very well behaved for my mother, he was generally inconsolable once we returned. Remember that he is only two years old – he was so happy to have us home but didn’t know how to control his emotions.

It’s been a few weeks now, and we’ve largely settled back to routine. Dylan has accepted Katrina as a permanent fixture of the house and treats her carefully and compassionately. When she cries, he seeks us to soothe her. When we feed her, he gently kisses her forehead. Adding a new member to the family is a major life event but it doesn’t have to be traumatic.

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1. What to Feed Your Sick Toddler
2. Baby Will Never Choose
3. How to Soothe Your Crying Baby

photo credit: suzukiQ

becomes even more challenging. What do you give to your little one who either can’t keep food down or has lost interest in eating because of the pain in their tummy?

Staying Hydrated is More Important Than Staying Fed
The first thing to remember: It’s much more important to drink plenty of fluids when your child (or you) becomes ill. Between fevers, diarrhea and vomiting, the body needs all of the water it can get in order to fight off the infection. If your child is able to drink but refuses to eat food, you may be best letting their system continue to work.

Stock Up on Pedialyte
Pedialyte – and other “noname” brands that offer the exact same product at half the price – is an excellent aid for a parent with a sick child. Especially in cases where the child seems to be throwing up everything that is going down, this medicine will help your child slowly absorb additional electrolytes which will help their immune system fight off the virus.

Tip: Gatorade – among other sports drinks – has a similar effect for adults (but contains too much sugar for younger children). In our household we call this our secret weapon and stock up every time one of us starts to get sick.

The BRAT Diet
BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast) is an acronym you can use to remember the foods that will help to settle your child’s stomach while giving them the best chance to regain nutrients in order to get better faster. These foods are good sources of minerals and vitamins but are neutral enough that they offer the best chances at staying down in an upset tummy.

The CRAM Diet – More Protein
A similar diet involves Cereal and Milk in order to boost the amount of protein your child receives. Depending on the tastes of your child, offer these foods if your child will have them (ours won’t eat bananas, for example).

When to Seek Medical Help
Call your doctor if your child is disoriented, lethargic, difficult to wake, or has a fever higher than 102 fahrenheit. In most cases your child will be better served resting at home – resting in bed is more comfortable than waiting in a strange place for a doctor; going to the hospital will expose your children to more disease (as it turns out, some of those other people in the waiting room could be sick).

Related posts:

1. Transitioning A Toddler to a New Baby
2. When Baby Refuses Bottle

photo credit: lamcopphis

If you use a wood stove to keep your family warm in the winter – particularly if you have a small wood stove with a low ceiling – you may well have gotten used to waking up out of bed during the night to keep the fire going. It’s not as big a deal to wake up to a cold house once the children are older, but babies are less tolerant of extreme temperature changes which means, yes, another source of sleep deprivation for you.

A top-down – sometimes called front-back – fire is a new-ish (depending on who you ask) technique for building fires. The idea is to burn the fire from the top of the pile down to the bottom; rather than burning all of your wood at the same time, this method will burn a single log which will crumble away as the next starts to burn. With a large enough stove and proper home insulation, this can keep your house comfortably warm all night while you stay in bed.

The way I was shown to build fires goes something like this:

1. Place two large logs next to each other with space in the middle for newsprint
2. Crumple as much newsprint as will comfortably fit between the two logs
3. Lay 4-5 pieces of small wood strips across like a grill in order to catch the heat from the newsprint while at allowing for good airflow
4. Place 2-3 smaller logs on top of the whole apparatus to collect heat from the kindling as it warms up; again allowing lots of space all around for airflow so the fire won’t smother
5. Light the newsprint in a few places and watch the whole thing take off; as long as you’ve left a nice amount of room for air to flow around, you can’t miss. The fire will take off quickly
6. Watch everything fall into a smoldering mess – poke and position the embers and put more wood on top – fire will not die until all fuel is extinguished

I still use this method during the day because it keeps the house nice and hot. The only downside is it requires a lot of maintenance with a small wood stove such as mine, and will smoke badly if not given enough air so constant attention to the airflow and flue is needed. At night, I prefer to use the top-down method:

1. Start at the back of the stove and stack large logs in a tight cluster with as little space between as possible
2. Place 2-3 pieces of dry kindling/wood scraps on top
3. Take 3-4 pieces of newsprint, roll each tightly and tie in a knot, place on top of the kindling
4. Light the newsprint, close the door and walk away

photo credit: ryanovineyards

The fire will burn steadily all night. I like to tie the newsprint as if I were tying a shoelace, because there is no kindling to hold it down and this technique will prevent it from blowing away or falling off the wood pile.

The most amazing part of top-down fires is the lack of smoke. Most people are accustomed to the idea of bottom-up fires because as the heat from the flame rises it warms up the larger wood and increases the temperature of the fire. The problem is the air around the wood is not heated as quickly, so when the wood catches it will smoke at first. Top-down flames are pure heat and do not smoke; they won’t leave as much creosote in your chimney and they burn the wood much more completely.

The best part about owning a wood stove is the sense of connectivity you experience with the heating in your home. It’s one thing to flip a switch and have a furnace come on; it’s quite another to gain some level of mastery over the ability to make fire for your own comfort. Everyone who burns wood ultimately figures out their own method for best results; with so many different approaches and models of stoves you can literally spend your whole life improving your technique.

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photo credit: waferboard

We’re all under the weather in our household. Last night my brother woke us up from a deep sleep by calling at 7:30PM. We won’t be going to be quite so early tonight, but the sandman is not far off. Despite the frantic calls of “swine flu!!” from overzealous family members (someone tell me the irrational H1N1 panic is going to go away soon).

We practice sanitary techniques in order to cut down the number of viruses we are exposed to and to prevent spreading any disease when we do become infected. You can use these tips to help protect yourself, your friends and coworkers, and your loved ones from getting sick as this year’s cold and flu season approaches.

1. No Face Touching
Since you contract the flu through your nose, mouth and throat, it is important to avoid introducing germs to those areas. Implement a “no face touching” policy – if you sneeze, rub your eyes, scratch your nose, wash your hands right away.

2. Good Hand Washing
A good hand wash lasts more than 20 seconds. You don’t need antibacterial soap – those generally do not kill more bacteria because people don’t let their hands lather long enough. Besides, the flu is a virus which wouldn’t be affected by an anti-bacterial.

The mechanical action of rubbing your hands together is the key to getting rid of any virus lurking on your hands. Use lukewarm water to wash away soap suds. Some people think you can get better results by making the water as hot as you can tolerate, but that is actually a bad idea because it will open up your pores and increase your changes of infection.

Bonus: Don’t forget to scrub between your fingernails!

3. Rise The Nose
As mentioned above, the flu virus infects you through your nostrils, mouth and throat. Therefore, it’s important to keep your nostrils clear in addition to keeping your hands off your face. One great way to accomplish this is by providing everyone in the family with their own bottle of nasal spray. Saline rinses (the dreaded neti pot) are also very effective, however a simple saline rinse will quickly wash away the majority of disease-causing debris.

4. Gargle
Mouthwashes like Listerine are incredibly useful for washing away any virus particles that may be lingering in your throat. Salt water may also be used and is recommended here. This maneuver clears your throat as well as your nasal cavity and kills harmful bacteria to boot.

5. Drink Warm Fluids
Drinking warm beverages like tea or coffee has a similar but opposite effect as does gargling. The warm liquid will wash the virus into your stomach where it is destroyed and won’t cause you any harm.

While it’s impossible to prevent yourself from ever getting sick, there are a lot of simple things you can do to prevent spreading germs to other people if you do become sick. Doing this will help to improve your overall health and keep the number of invaders to your system at a manageable level.

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My son looks at me and smiles, then looks to his Mom. He raises his foot to take a step, then sets it down and looks at each of us again. Finally he yells “BAD!!!” as he turns and runs as far away as he can get from either of us.

My son doesn’t take sides.

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photo credit: quinn.anya

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

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Certainly the main goal for this blog is to share with other parents some of the tricks I learn and discover as I go through this journey, but it’s sometimes difficult to know when I’ve focused the discussion too much on myself and my own thoughts (except, of course, for this particular entry).

This web site is certainly not a journal by any definition, but in some ways it is journal-like because the topics I write about tend to be the ones I’m dealing with at the moment. My intent is to make you better, dear reader. So if I go on too much about myself please tell me in the kindest way possible.

This is where I should promise to write more often and get back to my regular daily posting schedule. The problem is many bloggers will do that and then not post. So here’s to the spirit of posting regularly, and let’s see that it happens!

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photo credit: jonfeinstein

Just when you become accustomed to your baby behaving a certain way, suddenly their habits change and you find yourself dealing with a whole new set of circumstances. You may have been fortunate enough to have a baby that takes lots of naps during the day but now decides not to take any more naps at all. Or, like us, you may have a baby who suddenly decides that drinking from their bottle is too boring for their newly refined sense of self.

It can be tricky to figure out your child’s needs, particularly around the one-year mark. They can’t talk yet and tell you what’s on their mind. At the same time they want to experience more independence and begin learning skills (like walking and crawling) that they may not be fully prepared for. Before you know it you’re picking dirt out of their mouth even after you thought your floor was spotlessly clean.

When the baby refuses to drink, you have the tough job of figuring out whether they have become sick, whether they’re in pain because of teething issues, whether they are just being picky and need to be given a “sippy” cup, or whether they need to be left alone to play.

How to tell when your baby’s refusal to drink is serious enough to call the doctor

1. If the baby has a high fever (39.7/103.5 or more) take them to the emergency room immediately.
2. If your baby has a more mild fever, is sleepy or hard to wake, and refuses their bottles take them to see their doctor.
3. If your baby hasn’t passed stools for more than two days and is irritable, they could need help to soften their poop before they get a blockage. Take your child to the doctor soon especially if they are showing signs of pain when forcing.
4. Check for rashes, bug bites, ticks. Check everywhere – chest, back, arms, legs, armpits, groin area, scalp. A bug bite or infection can sometimes cause enough discomfort to preclude eating.

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photo credit: Andrea Fregnani

thigh, I can’t help but wonder how my infant son is coping with the heat. He’s pulled his favourite toys together in front of the baby gate behind which I’ve placed a box fan in an attempt to circulate the air. If the heat bothers him, he’s not saying anything; he grins one of his toothy smiles at me when he notices I’m watching him, then goes back to playing.

Downstairs there is a central air unit missing one of the parts it needs to drain properly. The knowledge of its presence is almost taunting us. I look forward to the relief we will experience when we are finally able to cool the house down by only a few degrees.

Like everything else having to do with childcare, you will run into a lot of differing opinions about how best to help your children handle warm weather. The bottom of the pyramid here is hydration – like adults, children need more fluid to replace what they lose through sweat. Don’t feel shy about being generous with water and bottles especially if your child is going through a growth spurt.

Juices and pop should be avoided because they don’t give your child’s body any extra benefit – in the case of pops and sodas, the caffeine in the drink will actually act to dehydrate. Sport drinks like Gatorade may be helpful in small quantities during extreme heat because they will boost the electrolytes in your child’s body and help them feel more replenished.

There is a myth circulating around that air conditioning units are not safe for children because the cold can cause a chill or asthma later in life. This is hogwash. Air conditioning is safe for babies and can help them get a full night’s rest rather than tossing and turning because they are wet, sweaty and uncomfortable.

If you’re not fortunate enough to have an air conditioner, or if you don’t use one because you don’t feel your climate is oppressive enough, you may choose to use fans to help circulate the air. Good news! Research has shown that fans can greatly reduce the risk of SIDS. Sadly, fans do not cool the air, they only circulate the warm air already in the room.

Leave a comment with your tips for beating the heat in child-friendly ways!

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photo credit: blinkenpilzen

community it seems like the right time to say something.

If you’re terribly worried about the H1N1 (Swine flu) strain of influenza, my advice is don’t let it affect your daily life. Unless you’re able to stay in your home and have zero contact with the outside world, you may very well get infected.

Here’s the big thing to remember: there is nothing novel about this strain of the flu. It’s just like any other flu with symptoms ranging from runny nose, aches and pains, diharrea and vometting, high fever and coughing.

Not a Novel Disease

There’s really nothing brought to the table by H1N1 that you haven’t already seen during your previous encounters with the flu. What makes swine flu newsworthy is the fact that it is a mutation of the virus for which most people do not already have immunity, meaning it is capable of becomming a pandemic – that is, a lot of people infected over a wide area; it does not mean a lot of people are on their death beds.

Like any flu, the elderly and the very young are most at risk for serious complications. Take your baby into the hospital if they become listless, refuse to drink their bottle, have a high fever, are vomitting, do not want to be held or are unusually difficult to wake.

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photo credit: bionicteaching

If it weren’t for other drivers, the roads would be a pleasant place to drive. Winter conditions don’t frighten me as much as the inept motorists I seem to be sharing the road with – maybe it’s just the time of day I drive to and from work that brings out the worst in people. We’re always told we shouldn’t be afraid of air travel because we’re more likely to be injured or killed in the car on the way to the airport; it is very telling when the police refuse to use the term ‘accident’ because ‘collision’ is more apt – it implies human error and responsibility.

Over the May long weekend here in Ontario, the OPP issued 468 charges for seatbelt offenses. Maybe we could use a physics refresher to remind ourselves that taking two seconds to affix that thin strip of fabric to ourselves when we get in the car will prevent us from flying through the windshield at 40km/h when the car stops suddenly in a crash.

This is important: 7% of Canadians do not use their seatbelts; 40% of collision fatalities did not use their seatbelt.

I can’t help but wonder if more seatbelt use would have improved chances in the deadly crash that killed eight people in Bathurst this May as they returned from basketball tournament in Moncton. Six of the eight victims weren’t wearing their seatbelts when the vehicle crossed the path of a tractor-trailer on an icy road.

Accidents happen fast (I’ll call them that only because ‘collision’ sounds a bit stuffy in this context). The speed in which cars can go from 60 to 0 is incredible and devastating. With so much power beneath us, it only makes sense to stop and think about what we’re doing. Let’s be careful, courteous, and stay alive out there.

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photo credit: Lili Vieira de Carvalho

In Grade 10 biology, you may have learned about recessive versus dominant genes; particularly for eye colour, brown is “dominant”, blue is “recessive”, therefore the offspring of a brown-eyed parent and a blue-eyed parent would always have brown eyes. The rules seem to change somewhat when you finally have a child of your own – even though your spouse has brown eyes your child is born with big blues.

Don’t get too attached – many children’s eyes change colour between 6 and 18 months of age.

You can calculate the “odds” of your children having a particular colour of eyes by using the Eye Calculator.

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The chances of actually losing your child are very slim – most of the time children are drawn to flashy or noisy distractions like mall fountains or those ride-on trains. As my own little one starts to take his first steps I can only look forward to the stress that is bound to be heading my way…

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Diagnosis: Attitude, not strep throat.

Apparently, around the end of their first year, children start wanting to assert more independence – never mind that they don’t have the skills needed to do so. Even though your child can’t yet walk (maybe they can’t even crawl yet!) you will find them trying to push themselves away from you and travel on their own. Their nutrition changes and the time is right to start weening them off the bottle and onto real milk and solid food.

This is the same time that sleeping habits start to change and originally docile babies start to become menaces. Just when you thought you were getting used to the routine of parenthood, it all changes! It’s time to start baby proofing your home, if you haven’t already, because your child will be discovering all imaginable dangers very soon.

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