The Party of Your Life

"If I Die" app for Facebook

2012-05-09T15:19:00.001-07:00

I just read about this in a funeral industry publication, Connecting Directors. Check it out:

"Facebook profiles don’t die the same way people do. If I Die is a Facebook app that makes sure, even if you die, your social self can still send out your last wishes and post messages to your friends years after you’re gone.
If I Die lets “you” post a final message to your wall and loved one when you’re dead. After installing the app, you choose three “trustees” (Facebook friends) who are charged with verifying your death. Users can then record videos or craft any number of Facebook posts to be published posthumously. When your trustees confirm your death, your messages can be published all at once to your Facebook wall or released on a designated schedule..." Click to read full post on the Connecting Directors blog.

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Press on The Party of Your Life

2012-02-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

Here's another mention of my book, on the blog, BelleVie memorial urns. Here's an excerpt.

"One author, Erika Dillman, has taken the art of planning your own funeral to new heights and she’s written a book called “The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning it Yourself.” In this book, she talks about the benefits of taking the time to plan your “going away party” to ensure that it’s exactly what you want. Now, more than ever, people want more control over their funeral and why should you be any different?" Click to read article.

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Celebrate Zora

2012-01-27T17:21:00.000-08:00

52 years ago tomorrow, novelist (and author of Their Eyes Were Watching God) Zora Neale Hurston died. If you don't know about her, you should. If you haven't read the book it, you should. Click to read more about her.

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Best Tagline for a Funeral Home

2012-01-11T13:21:00.000-08:00

A friend just alerted me to this one-of-kind funeral home tagline:

"This ain't no ranky, danky Funeral Home.
This is a first class funeral home,
run by first class people."

It's from the Eternal Rest Funeral Home in Houston, TX. Email me with your favorite funeral home taglines!

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Read at Excerpt from The Party of Your Life

2012-01-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

Hello, I've just posted a sample chapter from The Party of Your Life on my website. Click here to read it.

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"Your Life, Your Funeral"

2012-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

This article about my book was published in the Chicago Tribune (and suburban editions) yesterday.

By William Hageman, Tribune Newspapers
January 9, 2012
Erika Dillman comes by her interest in death naturally.

"My grandparents were in the business," she says. "They sold embalming fluid."

When she was 8, her grandparents took her to a funeral convention — what kid wouldn't be thrilled? — where she picked out a particular casket in which she wanted to be buried.

"I knew your funeral was something you had to plan for, to buy things for," she says. "Now, it's the party aspect I'm obsessed with."

Dillman has written "The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself" (Santa Monica Press). In it, she not only makes a good case for a memorable, personalized funeral, but also explains how to pull it off and why it's becoming more common.

"People want more control. They want a more personal occasion. Those are the two main things," she says. "They want to personalize it and have something meaningful for them. ... They want something more than a church service and burial."

She says she hopes the main thing that people take away from the book is the notion that it's OK to do what they want, not what survivors might think they would have wanted. Continue reading article.

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Another Review on Amazon.com

2012-01-08T00:10:00.000-08:00

"5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, January 5, 2012By
Katie Yates - See all my reviewsThis review is from: The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself (Paperback) I come from a tradition which emphasizes that 'death comes without warning' and thus the beautiful humor and specificity of Erika Dillman's 'The Party of Your Life' as a fearless and compassionate, completely helpful adventure into what happens next. A must read. A must have."

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A Review on Amazon.com

2012-01-08T00:08:00.000-08:00

"5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, Thoughtful and Practical, January 7, 2012By
Jeff Eisenbrey - See all my reviewsThis review is from: The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself (Paperback) I first picked up Erika Dillman's book at a party and my wife took it out of my hands because I'd become anti-social. Dillman was the most interesting person in the house. What was I to do? I bought the book.
The funniest people are those who know too much about how people are, and on the subject of kicking the bucket people are, well . . . funny. The author finds a lot of material here and clearly has a blast with it. Reading her book is a rare combination of laugh-out-loud funny and revelatory. It turns out that there's a lot to know about the handling of corpses, emotions, relatives, and legal matters. Dillman has done her research and she delivers it in a wry and lively package.

The best part, for me, was having my imagination shoved out of the nest to flap around party planning. Themed funerals?! Really?! Cool! Decorations, dress-up, music, those choice last words. Read it with your spouse. Visit with your favorite fading relative and you'll have a lot to talk about. Or you could leave it out at a party and see what happens."

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A Chocolate Funeral Party

2011-12-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

I was doing some holiday shopping last weekend, and came up with a fun funeral idea. Why not have a chocolate funeral party?

Here's how it happened: Last weekend I was strolling through Fremont, ostensibly shopping for others but really searching for the perfect necklace for myself, when my boyfriend suggested that we sample some chocolate at our neighborhood chocolate factory, Theo's Chocolate. Of course, I was game.

The minute we set foot in the store, I started racing from display to display, stuffing myself full of at least a bar-sized amount of tiny chocolate bits. Some with nuts, some with salt, some dark, some very dark, some organic. I was giddy. Once I slowed down and realized I had plenty of time to sample everything, I started paying attention to the bluegrass duo playing in the corner of the store...and to my surprise, I really liked the music.

Normally, that's not my kind of sound (I'm more into punk and classic rock), but the longer we lingered, the more I enjoyed it. There was a man playing mandolin and a women playing upright bass, and they were good! I was charmed.

We ended up hanging around for quite a while, sampling chocolate, sipping the free coffee, and listening to Pickled Okra. After a few songs, I thought "I've got to hire them for a party; they're fun." I took one of their business cards, and started making mental notes about the fabulous party I'd have to have to showcase them.

Then, as we were leaving the store, I turned to my boyfriend and said, "wouldn't this be a great setting for a funeral party?"

Lesson: you never know where inspiration will hit you. If it's "real fun" for you, your guests will probably like it, too. (Note: the chocolate pictured here is just a stock image; it's not from Theo's.)

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Your Emails

2011-11-21T00:46:00.000-08:00

Thanks to those folks who have emailed me to share your funeral plans and tell me about fun funerals you've attended. Here are a few songs to add to the funeral tunes master list, from Jane in NY, age 67:

"Here, There and Everywhere" by The Beatles
"Turn, Turn, Turn" (The Byrds cover version)
"Imagine" by John Lennon
"Leaving on a Jet Plane" (Peter, Paul and Mary cover version)

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My First Review

2011-11-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Here's the first review of The Party of Your Life from the American Chronicle:

"If someone has died, we know it isn't fun. But, when a loved one isn't dying or has just died, that is the best time to read the new book "The Party of Your Life." It is a fun read, especially if you're working in the funeral industry or planning your own funeral for down the road.

Why shouldn't you plan an uplifting fun funeral for yourself?

In her new book, "The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning It Yourself," author Erika Dillman has a variety of ideas from farewell music to funeral parties. It is true that more families are bypassing the traditional funeral service for a more personal location or a party that feels like a celebration of life. Your funeral should be memorable and it should reflect your spirit in life." Click to continue reading review.

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Another Testimonial for The Party of Your Life

2011-10-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

“As a celebrant I deal with creating meaningful funeral ceremonies for families, but after reading The Party of Your Life I realized how limited my ideas have been. Erika Dillman really opened up my eyes to a much more expanded way of looking at funerals. She has written a witty and humorous book on a topic that some people find fearful and morbid, and she conveys vital information in an easy-to-digest manner that includes humorous real-world examples.”
—Donna Belk, celebrant, home funeral guide, and
board member of the National Home Funeral Alliance,
www.donnabelk.com

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My Funeral Tunes

2011-10-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

For the entertainment portion of my end-of-life service, I think I'll just have iTrevor perform. He is my fav!!! Check out this video. What a riot .

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My Disco Chamber

2011-10-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

So, I've always wanted a disco chamber at my funeral, and now I've found a photo of the ideal venue! Here are just a few of the songs I'll have my funeral DJ play at my disco:

Waterloo (Abba)
Y.M.C.A (Village People)
Boogie Shoes (K.C. & the Sunshine Band)
Night Fever (Bee Gees)
Shake Your Groove Thing (Peaches & Herb)
Play That Funky Music (Wild Cherry)
Let's Go Crazy (Prince)
Where the Streets Have No Name (Pet Shop Boys)
and Barry White, Marvin Gaye, Diana Ross, Freda Payne, Pointer Sisters...

And I want to hire Bert from Project Runway to design fabulous gowns for the women on my funeral team.

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Morticians Putting the "F-U-N" Back in Funeral with Topless Calendar

2011-10-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

Firemen do it, policemen do it, and now, so do morticians and funeral directors. I'm talking about posing for some seriously shirtless photos to raise money for charity. This is old news, but still fun to hear about.

Back in 2007 a group of morticians and funeral directors got together for a photo shoot to make the Men of Mortuaries calendar to benefit KAMM CARES, a non-profit organization that helps individuals with breast cancer. The Men haven't made a calendar since 2008, but their website is still up if you want to check it out!

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The Party of Your Life went on sale today!

2011-10-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

The Party of Your Life went on sale today, and it's already marked down on Amazon. So, now's the time to do some pre-holiday holiday shopping. I'm sure all the adults on your gift list are dying for a copy.

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My Funeral Soundtrack

2011-09-23T23:38:00.000-07:00

I've already assembled my funeral soundtrack, which I like to call, "my fTunes." It includes songs from the Clash, the B-52's, Nina Simone, Bowie, and more. When I get around to it, I'll upload it to an iTunes iMix so everyone can enjoy it.

Until then, why don't you jot down some songs for your final playlist!

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My First Testimonial

2011-09-23T19:41:00.000-07:00

Here's my first testimonial for The Party of Your Life:

In The Party of Your Life, Erika Dillman provides a humorous and sometimes satirical insight into the modern-day funeral industry. She clearly informs the reader of the arrangements and personal reflections necessary to create a heartfelt and fun-filled final farewell. Her sharp and witty humor reminds us that death is a sure thing in this lifetime, and the more one prepares and shares their wishes, the more we honor our beloved dead in their final farewell.

—Nora Cedarwind Young, certified death midwife, green burial educator and hospice chaplain, www.thresholdsoflife.org

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