The Passport Front

Mountains

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:11:00 +0000

We decided, after a stop for lunch in Asheville, to take a short detour to drive through Smoky Mountain National Park. What a great decision. I heart mountains but Central Texas is not really known for its mountains. I had a lot of fun driving in a lower gear coming down the Tennessee side; not really something you get to do in the flatland. The most remarkable thing about the trek was watching the weather -- nay, climate -- change as we went up and back down. Once on the west side, we were both like, "this is familiar weather. Huzzah! No more East Coast sauna." Out of the sauna and into the roaster. At least there's a breeze. Enjoy the view. We did.

...And That's a Wrap and Other Randomness

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 00:01:00 +0000

Camp's over. Everything's packed. And at this point, most everybody is home.

Except the Texans. We're taking our sweet time getting home. What's the hurry? I don't have to go back to work until the 5th.

We're in Durham right now visiting with some friends. Friends, in fact, that were a part of the lifegroup Sharyl preached about on night 3: "Share" night. Duke University is an amazing campus. We went to church at the Duke Chapel this morning and I was awestruck by the amazing collegiate gothic architecture. I'm not sure there's anything like it at the colleges in Texas.

This blog isn't over yet. I've still got plenty to think about and plenty to write about. I'll also be transitioning back into my teaching blog: the Ire of Apathy. I've got two cans of Cheerwine left (if Sharyl doesn't make me buy another case on the way home) and I think I'll save the very last of it for when this blog is officially over. Until then, blessings.

Oh How I Love Small Towns

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 06:30:00 +0000

Small towns are great. I mean, I've absolutely fallen in love with Waco for the slower pace, not as much pressure to be materialistic, and rush hour traffic that feels like 4am Saturday morning in Dallas. But there are some things that are unavoidable with small towns. And Wingate is definitely a small town.

A few Wednesdays back, Sharyl and I decided to eat dinner out (Wednesday afternoons are pretty much free time once we take care of all of our business). We decided on a place that was really close to campus so it wouldn't be such a big hassle going to and coming back. It was fairly early for dinner, which is normal for us; normal for us and old people.

Now there is something borderline endearing about old people in that a lot of times, they do and say what they want without any filters. During the conversation that Sharyl and I were having (a stressful one at that), she spontaneously bursts out in laughter, deliriously saying, "I can't take it anymore!"

Apparently, a couple of older ladies sitting a table behind me were just staring at us. And it was an all out, laser-vision, kind of stare that Sharyl had attempted to match with in a staring contest. She lost. We figured it was one of several things that they were staring at:

1. That I was as Asian-looking as can be but spoke very Texan-like.
2. That we were obviously a couple... a very interracial couple.
3. That I was wearing my lavender MK2 shirt with a purple/black checkered scarf.

I think it was the scarf they couldn't hang with.

Week 5

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 16:12:00 +0000

Last week was, by far, our best week. It was, especially, for me. I think I came up for air finally after drowning in the technical details for the first four weeks. I could finally focus on the relational aspects of my job and leave the task aspects alone for once, knowing that most of those details have become second nature by now.

I'm glad that the services flowed like they were designed to and I could perceive the impact on the students for the first time. Program staff, by nature, don't get to interact as much with the students so I haven't been able to gauge what kind of impression we were leaving the students with very much.

Well, here's to the remaining two weeks and finding the motivation to be here 100% instead of phoning in a performance.

Reflections Over Phở

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 15:27:00 +0000

I love hole-in-the-wall-phở joints. We went to one last Friday and loved it. Many had never experienced Vietnamese food before and I really enjoyed sharing in their first taste of it. We capped off our dinner experience by exploring a bubble tea (boba) cafe my Google Maps had found. Again, another first experience for a few of us. Lots of fun and good conversations were had.

Last night, Sharyl and I talked a little about some of the reasons I still feel a little disconnected with this whole summer experience. It was the first time all summer I'd given time to reflect on my expectations coming into camp and a lot of it stemmed from conversations we had over that dinner last Friday. Yes, I did come into the fray a full five days after everyone had gotten a chance to gel and yes, I was thrown immediately into a spot of authority. So maybe that had a bigger impact that I was willing to admit.

I wonder if that has contributed to a general sense of disappointment over the balance between just working a job and participating in ministry. I've been on teams before this, for shorter periods of time even, and have not felt overtaken by the "job" aspect of it. My teammates were my brothers and sisters in ministry and I just haven't felt that as much this summer. The team of staffers here feel mostly like co-workers for me and I must admit that it kind of makes me sad.

Hopefully, the next two weeks will prove better for us as a team as many of the stressful details have become second nature and we can spend more thought energy on the more people-oriented and less on the task-oriented.

Stupid Camp Injuries

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:42:00 +0000

I can't say I've fully experienced a season of camp until something accidental reveals the wuss inside me. I don't get hurt very often, but it's not because I'm some agile, graceful creature. It's because I don't like pain. Pain stinks, and you will hear about it from me if I'm feeling it. I try my best to spare people from Whiny-Rath by not getting hurt.

Last year at camp, I had my bike to zip around camp with. As hilly as Highland Lakes is, it made for some fun back and forth treks between the various venues I had to be at. I always wore gloves and a helmet. Almost. One particular downhill ride I chose not to wear my helmet and what happens? I snag my front tire on a tree root and I'm thrown over my handlebars for the first time ever. So, alright... I'll make sure the helmet is a constant if I'm on my bike. Lesson learned.

A few days ago, I decided that I needed to be in a hurry coming back from the Batte Center, our venue for worship. So I took off running towards our apartments. About half a dozen steps into what was an attempted sprint, my flip flops decided they were done being cooperative. I spent the next four steps trying to regain my balance before I made up my mind that a fall was inevitable and so, what was the best way to minimize the hurt? I tucked and rolled. Injury report? Scrapped up left little pinky, left ankle, right thumb, and a big chunk of skin gone from my right toe. I think I got off pretty easy considering I could have landed on my teeth. Still, it hurt and I'ma whine about it.

High Fives and Hotdogs

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 04:17:00 +0000

The best parts of the game (we were playing wiffle ball that particular day) are high fives and hotdogs. Well said, Will Burke. Well said.

I've made myself participate in more team-oriented sporting activities these past few weeks than I can remember since accomplishing all the PE credit I needed for high school. Wiffle ball, volleyball, and today: almost soccer. I don't do team sports. But I'm trying my best to not be a snob and just have fun. Here's what typically happens: I'll be fine with playing and contributing for the first few minutes. Sometimes, I might even look like I know what I'm doing. But then I start thinking about the most random things and forget that I'm in the middle of playing something. By then, I'm more a handicap for my team than an asset. Oops. Sorry Coach.

But we don't play for the win. It's all about the high fives and hotdogs. Isn't it?

Flavors of Being Judgmental part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:38:00 +0000

Read part 1 here.

While the evaluations from last week hit me on technical level, many comments from this week nailed me on a cultural level. I feel bad especially for the younger staffers (Sharyl does too) for they way some of the adults who come to camp judge their behaviors. Our staff consists of young adults who are still learning, still growing, and still deciphering the direction of their walk with Christ. I don't think its fair to be so harsh on them for their behaviors and language, especially when the judgement comes from seminary-jaded people with an agenda.. Many of these staffers have only been away from home a short while. They are mostly just starting on their journeys.

This flavor of judgement is novel to me. It appears to come from a much more personal place than the judgments that are more culturally-based like in Asian cultures. While I'm used to being judged (and seeing others being judged) by standards that are generally agreed on by a certain community (like the immigrant Cambodian community, for example), this judgment has caught me by surprise because so much of it is stemmed from somebody's personal crusade. A side-effect of allowing everyone the opportunity to make up their own mind. A culture can agree on its unwritten rules, its stereotypes. But in a culture where everyone can make up their own rules, it's very difficult to navigate in a "socially acceptable" way. The learning curve increases but I don't think people are allowing very much grace for it.

Lighten up, please. Whatever happened to learning and then allowing others to learn like we did?

Flavors of Being Judgemental part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:32:00 +0000

For all the freedoms, choice, and opportunities that being an American provides, there's an ugly flip side of the coin that tends to get glossed over. I guess I've missed out on experiencing this because the majority of the worlds that I've been immersed in have been a cross-cultural environ that's closer to immigrant and first gen worldviews than a totally assimilated American worldview.

I'm thinking on this topic now because I'm being stretched more than I thought I'd be. When I was working with 1st and 2nd Generation youth, I struggled because I always felt like I was "too American" for them to really relate to me. Well, the pendulum's swung the other direction and I'm struggling with voices telling me that I'm not "American enough" to relate to these students. The further along the summer I go, the more it becomes apparent. It's a good thing at this point, I've grown up and learned enough to be quite okay with my own inner demons whispering to me.

Inner demons are in check. But what about voices from outside of my own head? I'm very intentional about not degrading anyone for the culture and worldview that they came up in. But its insulting when someone else suggests that certain behaviors or beliefs of mine (those that come out of my culture, worldview, and upbringing) are anything otherwise. I don't see how someone can be proud about speaking up for one oppressed segment of population when its at the expense of another.

What comes first, the quit or the fail?

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I'm extremely overwhelmed by how complex putting together a worship service actually is when its designed to be intentional and full of traditional overtones. Two weeks of mishaps and miscues have discouraged me to an extremely low point. Technically, we should be improving service after service, especially after a full week's cycle and into the second. But we're not.

At our theater facility, we're handcuffed by a sound system that's more a patchwork of fixes than one designed for quality performances. The soundbooth is up high and almost totally isolated from the auditorium, making it impossible for sound techs to use even the best of ears to determine what the audience is hearing.

While I'm already a scattered person by nature, I'm even worse in a discouraged state. I'm afraid that too many other staffers are having to pick up my slack. This is definitely not a cool feeling.

Pray for daylight. I'm needing a breakthrough.

Training Week... or What's Left Of It, Anyway

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 06:00:00 +0000

I'm not a big fan of being clueless. Entering into a situation where I haven't convinced myself yet that I know all that I need to know irks me. At this point I feel like I'm in way over my head. My mediocre organization and coordination abilities have been stretched beyond any other instance I can remember in recent history. I'm think I'm getting by but I know I'm frustrating the team by having blinders on when I'm trying to navigate the details and dropping the ball on things when I try to paint the big picture.

There are such quality staffers on the team here. The talent and passions of the individuals make me feel confident that this summer will be fantastic. I'm trying my best to cope with leading training sessions over things that I've mostly never actually seen done. Sure I have procedures on paper, but my yellow (sanguine/melancholic) temperament relies much more heavily on things I've seen and done. I find it extremely difficult to grasp concepts that are on paper only. I'm looking forward to the weekend after the first session so I can assess everything there is to experience in a week's worth of camp.

Prayer needs
- strength and energy: training week is g-r-u-e-l-i-n-g.
- further organization and management skills: I have to figure out how to step it up somehow.
- patience: to keep the monster called perfectionism at bay.

PS: It's our anniversary! I think it's kind of cool that we haven't celebrated one yet outside of a camp setting. It speaks to how much we love the way we're sharing our lives with other people, especially students. Thank you Andrew and Vanessa for our awesome skit. Oh, you silly kiddos.

Leeeeavin' On a Jet Plane

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:14:00 +0000

I get a pause, finally. The cliche calm before the storm. The majority of today went like a twister through an OK trailer park. I had to put the finishing touches in packing up my classroom since I won't be around for all of summer. I'm more worried about the loose ends I've left behind at home than the coming adventure with Passport. I look forward to reuniting with Sharyl and getting acquainted with a staff that's had four days to gel without me. Leadership test much?

My mind is torn between winding down another teaching year and preparing to lead and coordinate (yikes!) a team of staffers in worship. While the challenge of what's ahead is intriguing, I'm mostly afraid of letting people down with my inefficiency, lack of organization, and horrible sense of time. We'll see how this goes.

While Sharyl's Out...

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:05:00 +0000

Because of my insistence on having a car while we are in NC, Sharyl is now on the road with her brother, Andrew. They left earlier this morning about the same time I left for work. Its truly hard to fathom that I'm still working and it's June! Summer's so close, I can feel it in my marrow.

So I have to work another week plus next Monday. Our cats are with her parents for the duration of the summer. That means an empty house all to myself all week. What shall I do? I'll have to cook for myself (not so bad considering how Sharyl is no fan of some of what I make). I'll have to do some laundry for myself (GASP!). I'll have to actually check off items on my to-do list without prompting (double GASP!).

I was thinking about totally "caveman"-ing the week and not worrying about picking up too much around the house. But then I got a call saying that my Mom was going to visit this coming weekend to see the "new" place. Great.

The Significance of Losing LOST

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Mon, 24 May 2010 04:35:00 +0000

I didn't catch this train when it first left the station. I think Sharyl and I were 3 seasons behind when we started watching the first couple of seasons on DVD. Seeing that many episodes, in that compacted amount of time, and without commercials... it was all extremely intense. Needless to say, we were hooked from then on.

So a mere hour ago, we bid farewell to this amazing piece of pop culture, unsure of the sum total impact it will have on future entertainment media. Being such a character-driven show makes seeing it come to an end more weighty than I want to honestly admit. The kind of intersections that everyone's life-path makes is something worth pondering about. The Island, from the very beginning of the show, emphasized crossing paths and not-so-chance connections. These are my thoughts inspired by the finale. I make no promises about being spoiler-free.

I loved how Sharyl commented on someone's puzzled-about-the-LOST-finale Facebook status that it was all kind of like a big life group reunion. That's better articulated than anything I could have come up with, I'm sure. After the course of my life, what people from what seasons of my life would have left the biggest impressions? Its a great thing to hope for that I'd be reunited with every single one of those folks when I'm done. Of course, who gets to be "there" and who doesn't gets explained differently depending on your, ugh, theology. I'm by no means a Universalist but I was slightly tickled by how traditional religious perspectives were sidestepped and confronted at the same time by ending in such a church. Jack shared his "OMG, we're all dead!" moment with Christian in a room lit by a stained glass that had symbols from the major world religions.

TV shows don't usually carry such profundity. When they try, the result is usually laughable. I'm glad that this was the ending, and the explanation for many of the show's question, that was chosen. It made me reflect on what my "sideways" universe would be like. Where would the differences lie and what major decisions caused them? Our lives weave, twist, and turn as threads in a loom. As we bob up and over and intersect with other people's threads, are we paying attention? Are we awake to it all?

As tough as it is to say goodbye to something and move onto something new, experience has shown that the unknown is an adventure. And yes, LOST was just a TV show but the timing is such as to mark a transition in my life from one adventure to the next. Sharyl leaves for North Carolina in a week, and I will in two. What lies ahead, certainly God knows. I'm just hanging on for the ride.

Birmingham: Stream of Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Mon, 17 May 2010 05:06:00 +0000

The Program Directors' Meeting (PDM) happened several weeks ago and while we've had quite a bit of time to process the overwhelming amounts of information received, there's still quite a bit that I don't think I'm going to have a grasp of until it's actually happening. This is the adventure, though, and the kind of uncertainty that fuels me. I don't really like to have all the details because, honestly, not too much of it will stay in my head anyways. Big picture? Check. I'm usually ready to roll at this point.

What a blast we had at the PDM. I feel like the team headed for Wingate this summer is totally stacked but I'm sure the rest of the teams feel the same way about theirs. Amazing how God brings just the right certain combinations about when we're striving after His purposes.

It had been almost four years since I've been on a plane. On the flight to Alabama, the thought occurred that the only times I've been on a plane were most significant moments in my life. This thought made me feel very good about being a part of Passport for the summer, almost like a blanket of peace wrapping itself around me. Four years prior, I was on a plane with my brand new wife heading to our honeymoon: a fairly significant moment, I would say. Four years prior to that flight, I was on a plane to serve in Taiwan for a month. That trip solidified my call to teach. Rewind a little over twenty years from that, and I was on a plane bound for the United States with my family, ready to receive the hope and opportunities that this nation offered.

I consider my life blessed. It's definitely a story that's being written outside of my own power and I'm all the better for it. Because I'm being used for a purpose greater than my own, I hope that others who I come in contact with are also better for it. Bring on this summer, because Lord, I'm ready for whatever.

THE Binders....

noreply@blogger.com (Rath Loeung) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 03:54:00 +0000

...of doom. No not really. But our friendly (we guess) mailman left a package under our doormat. How thoughtful of him to leave it in such a secure location!

I guess we have some reading to do; just a little anyway.