Regular visitors to the Pasty Muncher will know of our fondness for pussy.  In a previous post we shared a suspected offenders excuse Me How – The Cat Did IT

Why Searching the Web for Pussy Pasty?

During the search for Frontline Spot on for Pussy Cats – high street chemist Lloyds Pharmacy now bizarrely sell this but at an eye watering £28.88 for six pipettes – we were delighted to come across this interactive video where you can play with a pussy.

If only there were similar videos featuring goats.

Ostentatious Dubai is like no other city on earth. Emerging from the desert, it seems to boast the tallest, biggest, fastest and largest of just about everything, from opulent buildings to vast shopping malls. In a city where extravagance is the norm here’s some wild ways to spend your time there.

Choose your times carefully and you will find cheap Dubai flights from many UK airports although recent reports suggest that as a result of the struggling pound it is expected that there will be a significant increase in shoppers from the Middle East flying to London.

Immerse yourself

Splash out in Dubai

Get wet and wild – http://www.wildwadi.com/

As you might expect of anything built in Dubai, Wild Wadi, the city’s outdoor water park, has been created with flair and extravagance. It is home to the largest wave pool in the Middle East, producing 1.5 metre-high waves, and the largest water slide outside of North America. It also features an 18 metre (59 ft) waterfall and two artificial surfing machines. Traditional downhill water slides jostle for attention with uphill water ‘roller coasters’, where riders are propelled uphill by water jets. Great fun for any water babes.

Chill Out in Dubai

Surreal ski experience – http://www.skidxb.com/

The concept of an indoor ski centre isn’t unique to Dubai, but the snow park at the Mall of the Emirates (MOE) is the world’s largest and is home to the world’s first indoor black run. It’s quite surreal walking from 40º degrees outside, to -1º or -2º inside the centre, and you can almost suspend disbelief briefly and imagine you’re in the Alps. Runs of varying difficulty, from beginner slopes to advanced, are spread across 22,500 square metres covered with real snow. There’s a quad-chairlift and tow lift to take you back up the slopes each time, and a Freestyle Zone for snowboarders to practise their stunts.

Shame – previous years at st loyes have been splendid firework displays marred only by the hugely annoying blabbering of a local DJ during the unecessarily long wait before kick off (gates at 5.30 dispaly at well past 8pm) although the site currently says

• Date: Thursday November 5th
• Timings:
  • 5.30 gates open
  • 6.00 Heart roadshow & entertainment
  • 7.30 Firework display

Great to see the Round Table site list it as an October event.

We predict a firework FAIL

David Mitchell confirms something I have suspected for a few days now…

… that standing up for Christmas is the new being all snide about Christmas.

And why not… yes, why not.

Those ‘tinsel isn’t in the true spirit of the season’ people have had it their way for too long. All that ‘don’t buy presents’, and ‘remember the real reason’ and ‘it’s got too commercial’ . . . . well, just exactly when else do we have an excuse to plonk a seven foot tree in our living room in order to make the entire house smell of disinfectant, torment the cat and impail tiny green spikes into our slippers?

When else do we come across biazarre food items that are only ever found in christmas hampers? When else do we have an excuse to buy unshelled nuts and smash them into inedible pieces?

Never that’s when

Christmas is so lovely, I can’t stand the humbugs. I know some people have sad memories associated with Christmas, or maybe had bad childhood Christmasses, but apart from that the Humbuggers piddle me off. I’m just as much against the over-Americanised-over-consumerist-stressful-sentiment-dead-environmentally-disastrous side to it as the next would-be leftie… But c’mon people, love it for what’s great about it! Christmas is a time for giving, sharing, family, friends, showing people you care (charity gifts spring to mind), thinking of those less fortunate that you and (guiltlessly) having lots of lovely food – and, yes, David, I’ll be having a goose and I’d gladly ‘flip off back to Borough Market’ only sadly I don’t live in London and my goose will be from Lidl!

Munch On!

The Observer Food Monthly top tipped the frozen goose from Lidl as a cracking bargain – if prepared properly it would be just as good as any free range organic freedom food bird on the market.

How times have changed now when we hear “We actually had goose last year” we are less likely to reply “was it enjoyable – you aspirational twerp?”

Christmas Goose

I don’t even think it’s the goose that’s important rather than the underlying reasons for having goose. The wording of this statement is put in such a way that the person clearly knows it’s the norm to have turkey, but he or she is bucking the trend, and for that reason knows something the rest of us don’t. Pretentious bullpoo at best. I’ve no problem with someone having goose at Christmas or some other socially deviant dish (I read of muppets that  insist on  mothers cooking frozen pizza) but if you feel the need to broadcast what you ate or plan to eat in order to elevate yourself from the masses, then you can indeed go flipperty yourself and run back to Borough Market or Fresh and Wild.

But on an unrelated note, how does goose hold up in a post Christmas curry?

Goose Pasty recipe

Make pasty to traditional recipe substituting goose leftovers instead of skirt.

Gobble On my munching friends!

Can’t let this one fly past without sharing. An advertising campaign that truly has wings.

Always keen to learn more about self propmotion I was fascinated with this technique employed at a German Trade show – teeny tiny banner ads tied to big bluebottles (I think) and set free into the exhibition hall.

The weight keeps the flies at a lower altitude and forces them to rest more often, which is a stroke of genius on the part of the marketing creatives: the flies end up at about eye level, and whenever a fly is forced to land and recover, the banner is clearly visible. What’s more, the zig-zagging of the fly naturally attracts the attention because of its rapid movement

Christmas Gifts – Give them money

I have suggested to my family that someone go to the bank and get a 500 Euro bank notr (do they still have them or have the panicing Spanish hoarded them under their matresses?) and all the adults stand in a circle and pass the bill around. The next day or so the original buyer of the note deposits it back in to his account. Now when asked by friends what they got they can say “A 500 Euro Note” or if asked what they spent for gifts “500 Euros.”

Charity Christmas Cards

The postal strike aside (anyone actually noticed) it is the perfect time of year to pretend to keep in touch with those far far away by sending Christmas cards.

Again this is an opportunity to support charity by buying and sending your favourite organisations cards. Beware though as  charity Christmas cards are not all equal – those on sale in high street department stores sometime only give up a teeny proportion of the spent to charity – best to buy direct from the organisation themselves.

Christmas Card Scenes

I read recently on the Guardian a string of comments suggesting that Christmas card scenes were out of touch with the modern world – and should depict ordinary people in the city doing their work surrounded by pollution blackened snow.

You in that there London should get out more! Where I live we are surrounded by idyllic country lanes leading to peaceful village churches, pheasants running around everywhere you look, wayside innns with crackling open fires, frozen ponds, etc. And this is accessible from central London by rail. Take a train, live a little!

And yes, of course Christians chose the pagan festival of Solstice to celebrate the light of our lives, but only because the symbolism is about the same thing – light out of darkness, hope out of despair, spiritual riches defeating material poverty etc. Okay, so it’s all a bit of a myth about the stable and stuff, but all myths point to deep truths that resonate within all of us and I challenge anyone born in England to say that their heart isn’t secretly warmed by all that gumpf, Christian or not.

I love sending Christmas cards and receiving them – were it not for this tradition I’d have no excuse to say an out of the blue hi to people who I have a lifetime’s affection for and a wish to keep in touch…but no real reason to go and visit at this stage in my life.

From what I’ve read about Dubai – the Palm tree peninsulars, the world map islands, the artificially cooled beach – it all sounds like something Homer Simpson would come up with if left to design the ‘perfect’ city.

There’s something a bit nasty as well as snobbish in the way western writers show up in the UAE, take a contemptuous look around and then write about what a dump it is – see Germain Greer poor article in the Guardian – but then I suppose one can argue that by claiming to be the “world’s best/biggest/etc” in everything, Dubai sets itself up for a hammering.

Dubai – Size is Important

It was interesting to read these fun facts about Dubai and one thing came accross loud and clear – SIZE MATTERS in Dubai

Why is it that people always want to build the BIGGEST of everything, as if its BIGNESS confers some special quality? Go to Thailand and people will want to tell you they have the biggest temple, which makes them the most spiritual of course, go to Hong Kong and Taiwan, and people will tell you they have the world’s biggest Buddha statue, which makes them the most pious of course, go to Brazil for the biggest Jesus statue which makes them the most sincere Christians etc.

While Dubai is certainly not a classy place it most certainly has character. It’s true that a small number of Sheiks dominate the wealth of the country, but at least they are trying to build Dubai into a business centre and hub of the middle east. Flights to Dubai and Abu Dhabi are now amongst the most popular destinations for international travellers who either vist the UAE or simply use the fabulous airport hub facilities that have been develeoped.

The ludicrous hotels and sand castles may get all the publicity but that masks the enormous investment in proper infrastructure – roads, schools, airports, low-carbon technology – which will keep Dubai ahead long after the other oil-rich kingdoms have descended into chaos.

Making up your own hampers both saves money and ensures that you give things you know people like.

If you’re looking for a Christmas present for someone you know pretty well, a personalised Christmas hamper shows you’ve put some thought into your gift-buying — and can also save you money.

Creating a hamper

Hampers don’t have to be filled just with food and drink – you can include anything you think the recipient will genuinely like and use. And while an old wicker basket makes the perfect hamper, few of us have one to hand – so you can just as easily use a cardboard box covered in Christmas wrapping paper. For padding between items, you can add your own shredded paper or, if you have a bigger budget, you could buy some biodegradable coloured filling or wood wool from a supplier such as Shredhouse http://www.shredhouse.co.uk/ which also sells new willow hampers.

Themed hampers

One option for filling your hamper is to choose a theme that’s relevant to your recipient. For a keen female gardener, for example, you could include some hand scrub and moisturiser, some packets of seeds, a few bulbs for next Spring, a new pair of gardening gloves and a gardening magazine.

The only risk with a theme is that you will buy the person a lot of stuff they already have – but you can avoid this by trying to find unusual items. For someone whose passion is cooking, for example, you could put together a hamper containing unusual ingredients relating to a particular cuisine such as the Middle East, which they wouldn’t ordinarily have in their cupboards — alongside a recipe book of dishes that use them.

Mixed hampers

For a mixed hamper, the contents will obviously depend on the particular recipient, but a few ideas for things to include are:

• a few select food items such as a jar of homemade marmalade or jam, some chocolate-covered nuts, a box of Turkish Delight, or a gourmet food they are particularly partial to
• a hobby magazine, whether they’re into gardening, travel, digital cameras, general aviation, fashion, cats, or just about any other topic covered by consumer magazines
• a framed photo of something or someone special to them, such as their pet or a loved one
• a bottle of wine, or organic beer, ale or cider
• a small item that you painted, built, knitted, sewed, or sculpted yourself to suit the recipient
• a bag containing a mix of spices to make festive mulled wine (cloves, grated nutmeg, and cinnamon)
• a bag of relaxing bath salts, a bar of their favourite body soap, or another bath or shower treat
• Split perfume coffret sets to give someone a chance to try a new fragrance
• some fruit to add colour, such as a couple of Clementines, which will also give it a festive scent

Children’s Christmas Hampers

Even though high-tech toys feature at the top of many children’s Christmas lists, a mixed hamper of goodies will really appeal because they’re packed with so many little things for them to discover.

Children’s hampers are incredibly easy to fill with timeless nick knacks such as crayons, sweets, puzzles, joke books, chocolate coins, key rings, and small toys such as a skipping rope or a soft toy.

With all of these hampers you only need to use your imagination and you can have fun creating a personalised gift that won’t break the bank but will show you have put time and effort into your present.

Swine Flu? Perhaps, a rotton bloody cold for sure.

I tried to WORK FROM HOME on various laptops and handheld devices and did manage to knock out a few pieces of top secret assignments but when you’re not feeling a full 100% it seems decietful to claim you’ve been clocking up the hours when really the day begins at 11am, lunch is 12:30 for a good hour returning to “work” for a final hour and a half before you advance the central heating and go have a nap.

Days off sick are grim – even with the delightful company of two sleeping puss cats and radio 4 twittering away on fab DAB radio – it is easy to begin to feel sorry for yourself.

The BBC

Recently the BBC has been under fire from jealous competitors in particular the online world. They claim the BBC is too good and attract viewers and visitors in numbers that ellude them – tough – lets face it the British Broadcasting Corporation is absolutely brilliant and I am both proud and astonished that the nominal license fees collected can fund such wide-ranging services and still vastly overpay nitwits who in my opinion should tout their services elsewhere and find what the true going rate is for having a nice smile and creepy crawling up to celebrity guests.

Radio 4 – essential listening

So what did I learn during my week?

My Twopenny worth

I am reliably informed that a 2p coin has a metal content value of 3 pence – time then for a trip over to Teignmouth to visit the arcades which still have some low denomination coin games – if I can face the bewildered looks from the attendants and manage to exchange a few hundred pounds into copper coinage – I’m set to make a 50% profit!

Indonesia Earthquake

Reports of continued misery around the world always put your presonl “suffering” into perspective.  The latest in what seems to be an escalating run of natural disasters is the Indonesia earthquake which followed the previous weeks storms in the Philippines which also took a second hit with landslides this week.

News footage of the relief and aid needed hits home – already the concern is that like in the Philippines continued bouts of bad weather on the run up to Christmas hampers the Aid Agencies urgent work in the region at the time it is most needed.

Enough doom  – a fully loaded lemsip (not branded btw – who still pays them prices for a sachet of paracetamol) is called for and I leave you with something from Radio One’s Scott Mills show featuring Inuendo Bingo:

Bird Spotting

I hear that parakeets are often seen in South West London. Well I’ve never seen a parakeet in Kew but I saw a cockatoo on Hampstead Heath.

Who’s a pretty boy then?