The Perlman Update

I Got Nothin' ...

2009-11-10T07:38:00.000+05:30

... except for a little complaining, though I'll spare you the agony of listening to me kvetch. Lucky you. Seriously.

Like sands through the hourglass, this was the past week of our lives....

Grady's 6 month immunizations ~ split up over two separate days

A cooking demonstration and lunch at a fabulous Mediterranean restaurant

Two trips to the Apollo Children's Hospital to visit our good friend's little guy who was there for observation due to a horrible drug allergy.

Riley started her swim club practice twice a week

We had parent teacher conferences, with Sheridan's lasting twice as long as Riley's

And Shabbat dinner with a small group of other "Members of The Tribe."

We were house-bound for almost three days due to the monsoons that finally rolled in

... though we did make a quick escape to dinner Saturday night with friends.

And Riley finally lost her tooth. Which reminds me that I need to ensure that the tooth fairy doesn't forget to stop by our house tonight ... which would be bad if she did, considering Riley wrote her a personal note, and I promised her that if the fairy had trouble deciphering what she said that I'd call her and explain ... as I have her number programed in my iPhone.

Riley asked how to spell 3rd ... to which I responded "it's three with an 'rd'.
I thought she'd write the number three, but instead she spelled it out and added the 'rd'.
It took me awhile to figure out what she wrote ...

Visiting Carter in the hospital. Sheridan LOVED looking at his IV and everything he was connected to. Riley was just afraid he was contagious and quickly jumped off the bed after the photo.

The back patio after the monsoons. This area is MUCH larger than our last home, and thus it takes a LOT longer to flood. The water is still about 10 - 12 inches in some areas, though it pales in comparison to last year's floods. Not that I'm complaining...

My Caramel Macchiatto Runneth Over ...

2009-11-02T20:38:00.012+05:30

I just got word this afternoon that my little blog here, this space in which I write about the chaos of our family of five, was recently recognized in the November edition of the Foreign Service Journal. I had no idea they were going to be mentioning my blog. No clue they would be reviewing our family's journey. I didn't know they knew of me.

But they did. They do. And the author has great taste! In his overview of my blog he writes ...

"Updated frequently and written with an almost brutal honesty - "follow the chaos as we tell our tales of life abroad" - this blog directly addresses some of the hardest issues relating to Foreign Service family life. But the author never displays undue angst and tempers her views with a healthy dose of hope and fondness for the mundane. Her ability to inject sass and emotion into a family letter is incredibly endearing."

Oddly enough, if you remember, about two and a half months ago I really struggled with the decision of making my blog private. I vacillated about it for weeks, truly unsure of the direction in which to turn. Despite the updated disclaimer, I still find myself holding back on occasion. Not always calling a spade a spade due to the fishbowl community in which we live, and the large number of local people who we know read about our lives.

The blog has chronicled everything from fertility issues, to babies, culture mis-identity, moving, and exotic vacations, to vomit ... and more vomit, consumables shopping, funny things that kids say, monsoons, struggles of overseas life, from finally adapting to the local culture, to saying good-bye to an old friend.

While the recognition is nice, and it helps remind me that many people enjoy the blog, this truly is a just cathartic experience for me. It's a place to write my feelings, and document our journey for our children ... though through the years I've realized it's also struck a chord for people who've experienced similar things.

So thank you for letting me share our lives. Thanks for coming back day in and day out with your comments, personal e-mails, and stories ... because even though it sounds uber fun to live in a 3rd world country about 10,000 miles from "home", oftentimes we really miss having our family and dearest friends near us to help support us during good times as well as bad.

And most importantly, thanks to my friend Donna, living in Beijing, who let me in on the secret about my blog ... as hers was also recognized in the journal as well! Another mom whose chaos rivals ours, (like the recent story of their maid who was recently hit by a car which left their family stranded without help for several weeks). Seriously, you can't make these stories up!

Here's the entire article in the Foreign Service Journal. It starts on page 43 ... with my highlight on page 47. Enjoy ... as my five minutes of fame are now up.

It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Wins ... By Losing Their Pride

2009-10-31T22:06:00.006+05:30

Just like last year, Halloween 2009 was another 3 day event, with one more party yet to come!

Friday morning started off with pumpkin carving in Sheridan's class, followed by parties in both the girls classrooms, and ending with a BIG bash of trick or treating and a pizza and ~~crap~~ candy party for all the kids at the Consulate. They had a blast! Of course, I spent a majority of the day rushing around, trying to be in two places at once, and taking as many videos and photos as I could.

Tonight there was another round of trick or treating at many of the Consulate homes, though shhhhh ....... don't tell my girls because we didn't take them. Instead, we leisurely got ready for a costume party at Sparky's, a local American-esque diner in Chennai. There were a number of American School and US Consulate folks meeting up for the mediocre American buffet and chaos. We arrived all dressed in costume, and ready to let the kids run amok. They had games and prizes, and even gave out awards for the best costumes. Matt was recognized for his complete lack of humility when he won the best adult costume.

Our little princesses have transformed into Hannah Montana and Sharpay from High School Musical (note: for those who subscribe to the whole HSM subculture, we are well aware that Sharpay is NOT a cheerleader, though you try telling that to a stubborn 4 year old who insisted on wearing a blond wig like her sister...) The costumes this year were imported from the United States, courtesy of Matt, who picked them out while on the phone with me in the store. He ran into a glitch when they no longer carried the Pink Power Ranger in Sheridan's size and had to come up with an alternate costume that would be suitable to her liking. Riley's Hannah Montana ensemble came complete with a small chip for her shoulder, though she already had her own.

A great Halloween weekend has thus far been had by all ... though it still continues with brunch tomorrow!

Halloween 2007 ~ Halloween 2009

Left: Sheridan's class ........... Right: The Consulate Kids

Left: The Consulate Party ......... Right: Sparky's Party

United Nations General Assembly

2009-10-30T19:52:00.005+05:30

Thirty-five nations are represented at American International School Chennai, the largest amount thus far in its history.

Thirty-five flags proudly marched in to the gymnasium yesterday at the assembly ... sometimes with one, sometimes with three children smiling widely behind them.

The United States Flag was last. Not quite the largest nationality at the school, nor even the most spirited. But it was the most memorable for me ... as my beautiful munchkin Riley was chosen to escort the flag with a middle school and high school kid also from the U.S.

To follow it up, she was also chosen with a few other Consulate kids to sing in the choir during the assembly. She sang for weeks ... with several early morning practices. An oldie but goodie, we even watched a video of the song she was going to sing on YouTube ... she couldn't believe I knew the words.

Do you remember them? Not quite the Bono or Michael Jackson version ... but you get the drift. Take a peek at her video ... she's the cutie in the first row, second from the left.

Riley's choir practice before the assembly. Sheridan sitting with her class.

Marching in with the American flag ... Riley is in deep thought.

New Math ...

2009-10-28T13:15:00.004+05:30

.... Neewwwww Math. It won't do you a bit of good to review math. It's so simple. So very simple. That only a child can do it. Do it. Do it*.

Tom Lehrer* was right.

As I found out last night when going over Riley's math work from class, I certainly don't do it right ... nor did I understand how the first graders were learning double digit addition. It's totally different from how I learned it over 30 years ago (though that's not saying much for my obvious lack of mathematical skills).

The way I learned to add was through a process called carrying (or regrouping). It was to add together the 'ones' place first, carrying to the 'tens' place, and then adding the 'tens' place together for the answer.

That was then, this is now ...

In new math, the kids learn addition without regrouping. They learn that each column represents a place value (namely the 'ones' and 'tens' columns). Then they learn to add each of the columns, starting with the left column (which is the 'tens' column for our purpose), and ending with the 'ones'. Then they add the columns together to get their final answer.

Here is a visual of what this old math and new math looks like...

These two-digit addition problems are very new to her. They just learned them yesterday in class (or at least it was the first time I had heard of it). When she was showing us the above problem last night she actually got a bit confused, wasn't sure how to add the numbers up the way she 'learned' it from her teacher, and ended up melting down and throwing a nice sized tantrum. Over not-getting-it-right. Oh the drama. Not knowing that her way and my way of adding weren't the same, she threw an even bigger fit when I tried to show her how to add these numbers up by carrying. As I was clearly told, I was not doing it right... aka, her teacher hung the stars, the moon, and the sky, and it's her way or the highway.

So today I went in to Riley's class and sheepishly asked her teacher to show me how to add the above problem her way. I needed to know how to do it "right" ... so that I could help her in the future with her math homework.

The funny part? Knowing that in a few weeks when they start subtraction without regrouping, I'll be heading right back to her classroom, asking the first grade teacher to show me how to do it.

I just await the day that we have to Skype with my dad for math tutoring, as my abilities end with multiplication and division. And Matt's? Well, he's still counting the above problem on his fingers and toes ...

If you're familiar with Tom Lehrer, you'll recognize his catchy New Math song ... a favorite of mine growing up!

And It Only Took Five Minutes ...

2009-10-24T20:52:00.003+05:30

To go from this ...

to this ...

Rock on Riley!! We sure are proud of you!!

Now if we could only convince your little sister to try it ...

I'll Get You Murphy ... And Your Little Laws Too!

2009-10-20T22:28:00.007+05:30

Isn't it ironic that everything seems to always happen at the most inconvenient time?

~ It all started when the dog threw up her entire dinner on the brand new rug. I was holding the baby in the kitchen, and with my super human mom ears, I heard the gurgling sounds that dogs make before they get sick ( usually seconds before they blow chunks on the first carpet they can find ) and ran into the living room as fast as I could ... knowing exactly what was about to happen. Too. Flipping. Late. I won't bore you with the details of my scream fest with the furry thing, my hysteria about vomit on 'said' brand new rug, or of my frantic cleaning. But I will tell you that it's as good as new. And the dog and I are friends again ... though it was definitely touch and go for several hours after that.

~ Since Friday night it's sounded like we're living smack dab in the middle of downtown Baghdad with all the firecrackers going off. Diwali is finally here and instead of being able to sleep in, we've been serenaded day and night with 'cracker after 'cracker. Not surprisingly, there was an explosion in a firecracker warehouse over the weekend here in Tamil Nadu that killed 32 people. It almost breaks my heart to hear that these people are spending thousands of rupees on these commercial grade firecrackers ... well over half a months salary that literally goes up in smoke in mere minutes. It would be easier if they just burn the money directly, rather than deal with the missing digits and ER visits that are plaguing the hospitals this week.

~ We had a dinner party on Saturday night, only to find out the hard way that most of the shops were closed on Saturday for Diwali... and there was not a head of lettuce to be found in the four stores I went to. Adding insult to injury, my oven decided not to work ... kinda like my driver that day too.

~ The girls woke up at o' dark thirty on Saturday, and even earlier on Sunday (despite them staying up later AND being on fall break). What part of "Stay in your bed until the clock says 7:00!!", did they NOT understand?

~ The baby followed suit and was off his rocker cranky this weekend, not taking any naps, and waking up exceptionally early. Uncharacteristic ... even for him. It doesn't help that his face looks like a game of connect the dots, and thus we're headed back to the dermatologist tomorrow to find out why his skin looks like a**. When making the appointment through our nurse, I had to tell her to remind the doctor that he has an obligation of doctor / patient confidentiality, and when I go there I don't want to hear about all the other American patients he's treated in the last week. Last time we were there I knew all about his treatment of another woman's peel and pimples... which I'm sure would mortify her if she was aware I knew.

~ The internet has intermittently been out, making it difficult to research how long my hair is going to continue to fall out postpartum. I mean, it fell out the entire pregnancy due to my out of whack thyroid. Why is it shedding in clumps now? Can't I keep just a little bit?

~ My maid got a phone call on Monday that her husband's brother's mother-in-law died while seated on the toilet that morning. A crappy way to go ... no pun intended. She was a non-blood relative to my maid, an irony in and of itself, though my maid insisted that she leave to be with her family in their time of mourning. With the average extended family, coupled with the poor health care, someone is always dying. The cycle of life here moves at a much more accelerated pace.

~ My dryer is broken. It's been broken for several weeks despite the several work orders I've put in, and the repeated attempts to have the maintenance crew understand what's wrong. See, it shouldn't taken two drying cycles, each 80 minutes, to dry my clothes. Right? Yet, these geniuses keep telling me that because I'm washing one load a week of delicates ON delicate, that THAT is the reason why my clothes aren't drying. Um.... no, the washer works fine. It has NOTHING to do with the dryer. But I can't seem to convince them otherwise. Nor do they stick around long enough to see that just because they feel warm air in the dryer for the few minutes they're here, doesn't mean that it still isn't taking almost 3 hours to dry each load of laundry. Ah.... the frustration!

Here are a few photos of Sheridan's class from last Friday's Diwali party. We did the same things this year as we did in Riley's class last year... lucky for me as it was easy to plan! Though sometimes competency is a detriment as I've now been asked by the kindergarten teachers to help coordinate UN day for the Pre-K and KG classes next week. So much for taking any breaks...

From This ... To This ...

2009-10-16T23:36:00.006+05:30

From this... 5 months ago... Can you believe it's been 5 months already?

To this... two big choppers. (Not the most flattering of photos, but it was the only way I could get him to smile without sticking out his tongue)

To this ... pushing himself up and trying his darndest to move along the floor. He can roll. He can turn himself around. He has amazing head, neck, upper body control.

He's eating rice cereal, and devouring every single bite. He's a good sleeper; going to bed around 6:30 and sleeping a solid 12 hours. He's 5 months old already. Wow.

A Small Dose of Reality...

2009-10-13T21:03:00.003+05:30

... is sometimes difficult to swallow.

I was THAT mom today. You know, the one who raised her voice just a little too loudly at the kid's sporting event. The one who insisted that she knew best. The one you didn't want to look at, so you put both hands over your eyes... but opened your fingers just enough to peek through and see what she was going to do next.

Yeah, I was that mom.

And I'm embarrassed.

The school is in the process of starting its swim club next quarter, and the girls had their tryouts today. Riley made it. Sheridan didn't. I was completely caught off guard. Most of my friends who've seen Sheridan swim were as surprised as I was.

I kinda snapped.

See, last week when the director had the swim club meeting she told the parents that in order to make the swim team, the kids needed to be able to swim 50 meters non-stop (2 laps) .... with the clarification that they could swim any stroke.

No problem. Both the girls had taken private lessons in Israel to the tune of $30 + / lesson ... for almost 2 years. Sure it was a high price to pay, but now they're little fishies. The thousands of dollars was very well spent.

Or so I thought.

Riley jumped in the water today, and effortlessly swimming freestyle, glided across the pool. The coach looked over at me and smiled, and by the time she finished her second lap, he had already filled out the paperwork and added her name to the team roster.

Sheridan swam next, doing a combination breast stroke with a flutter kick. I have no idea where she learned it, though off she went, somewhat awkwardly to the deep end and back. But she did it... exactly what the director said she needed to do in order to make the team.

However, she didn't make the team. Moreover, I was told she needed swim lessons. Swim lessons to help her get across the pool. Which she can already do... quite effortlessly (though admittedly, it doesn't always look pretty). I mean seriously, she's 4 years old. She swims pretty darn well. Just not good enough for the swim team, which, I thought, was supposed to HELP her with the stroke mechanics.

So before I could turn on the filter from my brain to my mouth, I snapped at the coach, telling her that I was not happy. Through clenched teeth I loudly stated that she did exactly what she was asked, and it was not fair that she didn't make the team. I then marched over to the side, pulled Sheridan from the water, put her in her seat, and obnoxiously walked over to the athletic director where I boldly expressed my displeasure. The response? They want to see mechanics over endurance. It's great that Sheridan can swim multiple lengths of the pool, but since she can't swim one stroke perfectly, she's only eligible for swim lessons... until she masters freestyle, when they'll then put her on the team.

I had to take a breather. I knew I was going to say something that I didn't mean, and I could feel my face get flushed as my frustration intensified. I sat down and started talking to a few friends who waited to watch the girls. I mumbled. I vented. I unleashed my disappointment in the semantics of the expectations at the original swim club meeting. I was upset that the director watched the girls practicing yesterday for 20 minutes, yet never said anything to me about Sheridan's strokes.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks... I was THAT mom. The one who annoys everyone in the stands because she's coaching the kids from the sidelines. The one who knows better than the coach does, because, "Hey, she's my superstar... you're JUST the coach." And I knew that I needed to swallow a big spoonful of pride and let this one go. Because honestly, they were ... gulp... right. Sheridan is 4... she won't be 5 for another few months ... and if we were almost anywhere else in the world, she'd STILL be in preschool. Why am I trying to push her so hard? She's a darn good swimmer for her age, but she's ... still ... only ... 4 ... years ...old.

With my tail not-so between my legs, I boldly walked back over to the athletic director and swim coach and gently explained that I needed to be an advocate for my kid, yet I deeply apologized if I was rude. Seeing the tears welling in my eyes, the coach quickly said, "Don't worry... I've seen you at other events and I know you're usually pretty normal." Whew. A quick discussion about private lessons, another apology, big hugs with my fishies, and it was time to go home.

To work on homework. Because even though she's only 4, she has more homework than her first grade sister. Maybe having the afternoons free won't be such a bad idea...

Here's Sheridan during her tryouts. I narrowed it down to just 16 seconds... cause hey... she does the exact same thing from one end of the pool to another...

Here's Riley's swimming too. She dove in ... which for her, is a HUGE accomplishment. She used to look like a cat splaying her arms out as she attempted to dive in head first...

Friday Fragments

2009-10-09T21:24:00.005+05:30

It's Friday night and the lights are low.... Thank goodness we made it through the week without Matt relatively unscathed and only minor incident.

A few highlights of our week...

The air conditioning unit went out in the kitchen on Monday, which led to an army of ants in the kitchen early Tuesday... and Wednesday... and Thursday... get the picture? It's finally been fixed, though I'm sure I'll see my 'friends' again tomorrow. They like me that way.

The air conditioning in the car decided to follow in the kitchen's footsteps and also go out on me, though fixing that was far more difficult. As our car is imported and old as mold, parts for it are quite difficult to find. So when my driver told me that they needed to replace the coil-thinga-majiggy, and the mechanic was going to 'jerry-rig' it with one that he found somewhere on the 'other side' of Chennai, I had to go with the flow. When in India ...

Of course, it would have been a tad easier for me to deal with this had my driver not had to suddenly leave me stranded and A/C-less when he got a disturbing call that his brother in law had just been killed. Something about being a drunk, not taking care of his kids, blah, blah, blah, and it was best I didn't ask for the rest of the story. I immediately sent him on his way... to the hospital ... to deal with the body ... and begged that he be back on Friday to help fix my car. Life is like a box of chocolates here... you NEVER know what you're going to get.

Then yesterday my gardener came across a wasps nest in our yard that none of us apparently knew about. Let's just say that when he came face to face with them... they won. Several stings, a doctor's appointment for the pain, and a face as swollen as a pumpkin later, he finally told me about it. And by telling me, I really mean he told my maid and driver who in turn told me. Of course, as a glutton for punishment, he went back to clean around the same bush that has the nest today. Did he think to remove it? Or have me call someone to remove it? Why no... that would have been WAY too easy. Or smart.

I finally took Grady to the dermatologist, who diagnosed his rash as Seborrheic Dermatitis. His face took a turn and looked as ugly as could be, rivaling a teenager with severe acne. So he now has a mild lotion to put on his face and something to treat his cradle cap. I have a feeling this is the first of many dermatology visits in his future...

I thoroughly enjoy listening to my driver tell me about the Indian way of life. Stories from his people in his village fascinate, yet often disturb me. Today he told me that in his village, it's common practice to marry your relatives ... to keep harmony in the family. Their thought is that when you marry someone so close to you, that they'll look out for you and what's best for your family much more than if they were any old acquaintance. So, his wife is his father's, sister's, daughter. Figure that one out easily? His first cousin. He married his first cousin. And his son is already promised to another first cousin when he gets older. Um... okay. It gives the phrase, "keeping it in the family" an entirely new meaning.

I went to a parent coffee morning for Riley's class today. When she got home from school today she asked me what I wore to the coffee. When Sheridan informed her that I wore my standard mom outfit... strappy tank top under a shirt, blue jeans, and high heels, Riley then asked if I at least did my hair and wore make-up and earrings.

And being the super cool mom that I am, had a movie night with the girls tonight, only to fall asleep half-way in to Hannah Montana, and have Riley wake me up at the end telling me she needed to go to bed.

Two more days until Matt's home... schlepping another big cooler of frozen treats. Forty-eight hours and counting!

Designer 'Labels'

2009-10-07T09:19:00.013+05:30

Last night while sitting around the dinner table, where all of our 'colorful' discussions take place, Riley told me that she had a conversation with a child in her class about being an American. There's a lot of talk about nationalities these days as the school gears up for their United Nations Day at the end of the month. In fact, I'm sure it's no surprise that I'm on the committee to help decorate and cook for the American booth, though that has no bearing on this conversation.

So I asked her what her what her exchange was about... what did she discuss about being an American? Her answer: "Well, since I'm Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas, I can't be an American."

Wow. Deep breath. Wow.

I don't know what I expected her to say. While she was born in the U.S., lived there for her first five months of life, and visits for several weeks each summer, she's never really been there long enough to understand what the 'label' of being an American really is.

Living overseas has forced us into always being labeled. In Oman, we were the 'white folks' living in a Muslim country, never openly discussing our Judaism (and even going as far as declaring 'no religion' on Sheridan's birth certificate registered there). In Israel, while obviously comfortably open about being 'members of the tribe', we were still labeled 'American' or as noticed by our license plates, 'diplomats'. Here in India, where our white skin appears even whiter next to the dark southern Indians, not only are we labeled 'American', but 'rich'... which is funny enough to think of government employees as making enough money to be rich, though to those who live on less than $1 a day, we sure are.

Until we moved overseas, I never gave any thought about being an American. I just am. My children are. I can't remember spending so much time in the States identifying my nationality (except when filling out applications or paperwork). Though, I also don't remember feeling as patriotic as I do now either. I have a much better appreciation for the freedoms as Americans we possess, especially after living in several countries where the women are seen as 'less than' and I can choose to wear / do / say whatever I want, without having to ask permission from my husband. And for those of you who know us ... can you imagine me asking for permission for anything?

The part though that really bothers me about her answer is her misconception about her own religion. Our religion. She knows we're Jewish, and even at six, is painfully aware that she's in the minority... with no relatives in town to share in the holidays, very few other Jewish families in Chennai, and certainly not enough to even have a minyan. I thought that one of the great benefits of not having American television would be the absence of commercials. No worrying about the girls seeing advertisements for every conceivable toy and trinket on the market... geared to ensure the kids ask, beg, borrow, and whine for them to be purchased now, or better yet, for Christmas. For a holiday she knows nothing about, except it must be exciting and important ... because to her, everybody celebrates Christmas. However, it doesn't matter whether or not she sees ads, for she talks with her friends about religion, and to a six year old with deductive reasoning, if you don't celebrate Christmas, you must not be American. I mean honestly, are you seeing the mass advertisements for Hanukkah? What about for Lag B'Omer?

I grew up in a not-so religious family, though was very proud to be Jewish. I went to Hebrew School, Sunday School, Midrasha. I had a Bat Mitzvah, started a B'nai B'rith Youth Group in my city, and even began my college courses as a Jewish Studies major. I get it. I identify with it. I am Jewish. Matt on the other hand has a more spiritual connection to Judaism. Sure he technically is Jewish. He was snipped. He had a Bar Mitzvah. He can mumble a B'racha or two, and appreciates a good shofar blowing at Rosh Hashanah. He just isn't lining up to go to synagogue on a Friday night (even if there WAS a synagogue here in Chennai). And over time we've met somewhere in the middle... and began classifying ourselves as 'Jews with a little j'. It's worked well for us. Until now.

So I sit here in my small office, pondering what I need to do to change my daughter's mindset about religion and nationality. I don't know what the answer is, or even where to begin our journey. With no Sunday School around to send them to (as we would if we were stateside), no watered down American history class in school (here they have an Indian studies class), no kids their same age or situation in which to go through this together, I'm at a loss.

Until I figure our next steps, I'll be sitting here ... daydreaming the ways of helping them understand and appreciate their 'labels', which while growing up as a third culture kid, are, and will always be, the minority.

One Walk, One Hope

2009-10-04T21:08:00.006+05:30

Today, the kids and I joined in Chennai's first mass breast cancer awareness walk. While it was a minor feat organizing how to get to the location, it was a lot of fun walking and talking with friends for such a great cause.

Before the afternoon walk, our old neighbor invited the kids and I to lunch to welcome a new family to town. However, lunch ran late and the kids were having fun, so by the time we got home, we had to immediately change into tennis shoes, re-pack our things, and hop into a tuk tuk to get us to the starting point on time.

The walk wasn't very far (though with the girls whining you'd think they'd walked miles), and in less than thirty minutes we were at the finishing point. Of course, the sidewalk and parking lots at the beach where we were all marching were NOT closed down, and our group was completely interspersed with bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and an errant bus or two.

The girls favorite part? Definitely the tuk tuk ride there and home ... and the pins!

Diwali

2009-10-03T23:22:00.006+05:30

Diwali is ... a festival of lights ... instead of just one day ... you get five (or six, depending on your religion) CRAZY nights.

We are coming full circle as we enter our second year in India and are starting to celebrate holidays for the second time. Last year I was newly pregnant during Diwali, though nobody knew. What a difference one year makes, eh?

I could sit here and google Diwali, and then plagiarize the meanings and customs surrounding it, or you could click on the blue link above and read what I wrote last year about it. Awe heck, twist my arm, I'll do it for you.

Simple stated, Diwali signifies victory of good over evil. Hindus, Sikhs, and Jains light diyas, cotton string wicks inserted in small clay pots with oil, in rows to welcome Rama home after a 14-year exile. During Diwali, it is customary to purchase new clothing, share sweets and snacks, and light fireworks. Commercial grade, loud as heck, gonna blow somebody's fingers off firecrackers.

Tonight we attended the American School's annual Diwali celebration, which is actually two weeks before the actual holiday, and on the eve of Matt heading to the States for a meeting. I bought the girls new dresses with my in-laws, and they were very excited to wear them. We met up with several family friends at the school and had a great time sweating our butts off in the insanely hot and humid evening, watching the girls NOT eat yet another dinner. Fun times. But the fireworks display? Thoroughly enjoyed by all... especially the kids, who couldn't contain their squeals of delight every time a boom went off and the sky was lit up like a million shiny diamonds.

Migraines and Infections and Giardia - Oh My!

2009-10-01T22:40:00.004+05:30

Our house resembles a MASH unit. It's a good thing prescriptions are inexpensive here, because we've relied on them quite a bit this week.

As you know, it all started while we were away on vacation last weekend ... the girl's head colds, Matt's sinus infection, and my stomach ailments ... and they didn't subside when we got home. As Monday was a holiday here, I couldn't see the doctor until Tuesday, and not a minute too soon. After ruling out that my stomach pains were NOT due to swimming, chocolate, or ice cream, he then asked me if I had any take-out foods in the past few days. Well, duh... I just came home from a 4-day vacation in Northern India. I surely didn't pack our meals for the trip. He pressed on my stomach, he looked at my tongue, and said he felt confident that I had a parasite. He mentioned that if I wanted to, I could produce a 'sample' to be tested, however he was certain that what I have is Giardiasis. He didn't tell me how I contracted it. He didn't tell me how to prevent it in the future. He just wrote me a prescription for two different drugs to take twice a day, and said, "if you feel better by Thursday, then my diagnosis was correct."

For the first time since we moved to Chennai I actually walked out of his office feeling pretty good about his theory. I mean, it sounded right. I had no reason to doubt him. That is ... until I discovered that every - single - person who goes into his office for stomach ailments is diagnosed with Giardiasis. Everyone. Apparently, it's his stand-by. When in doubt he calls it Giardiasis. And prescribes antibiotics... that work on all that ails you.

I do feel much better now. However, even a broken clock is right twice a day...

On another note, Riley came home from school on Tuesday crying over painful eyes. She said they itched, hurt, and throbbed. So I called the doctor. The same doctor who diagnosed me earlier that day. And he told me, without seeing her, that she has an eye infection, and sent me to pick up some antibiotic eye drops. Lucky for us, we can pick up virtually any prescription medication without an actual written prescription from a doctor. So off to the pharmacy I went, and for 12 rupees (about 25 cents), got the eye drops. We used them that night and the next day. Not noticing any reason why I should keep her home from school, I sent her on her merry way. Unfortunately, the next day I got a call from the school nurse, telling me that Riley came in crying and complaining that her eyes were so sore and that she needed to go home. She was hysterical when I picked her up, but just as I noticed the night before, or even that morning, her eyes weren't red and swollen.

When we got home she laid on the couch and then started to complain that the light was bothering her and the noise bothered her. Hmmm... I had a sneaky suspicion that I knew what her eye issues were. A quick visit on WebMD, a few questions about the pain, a little messaging her temples, and voila! ... diagnosis complete. Riley, just like me when I was young, suffered from a migraine headache. I gave her Tylenol, and after waiting thirty minutes for it to kick in, she was a totally new child. Her eyes stopped hurting, her head stopped throbbing, the light no longer bothered her. And true to form, about 4 hours later when the Tylenol wore off, her eyes started hurting and the temple rubbing began.

Since she's so young to get migraines, we're monitoring the situation now to see if this is a one-off occurrence or something we need to take her to a specialist.

From the road to Delhi ... to the road to recovery.

Ayudha Puja ~ A Day Of Blessings

2009-09-30T23:21:00.006+05:30

Late this afternoon, my gardener and driver performed the Ayudha Puja ceremony in our front yard. If you remember from last year, all tools, vehicles, machines, and other devices are cleaned, polished, dressed, and blessed. They smeared turmeric, sandalwood paste, and KumKum all over the car, bikes, and their motorcycles, and then adorned the car with flowers and banana leaves.

The Ayudha Puja is usually celebrated on the 9th day during the Navrathi period, and is an integral part of the Dasara festival. Special prayers are offered to goddess Saraswati - the divine source of wisdom and enlightenment. I offered my own prayer during this day too... for a few less mosquitoes in the car each morning.

Riley and Sheridan both helped participate in the Puja. They decorated the driveway and were adorned with the spice pastes. Libby just laid around, though she too had a small opportunity to be blessed as you'll see in the video.

The original video of the Puja is over 10 minutes, so I edited it down as best I could. For reference, the man in the button down shirt is my driver, and my gardener is in the white t-shirt and shorts. You're lucky he dressed up for the occasion... usually he does his work in just his shorts.

We Came ... We Saw ... and Yes, We Had Vomit

2009-09-28T21:57:00.003+05:30

On Saturday morning we checked out of our hotel and began the arduous drive from Jaipur to Agra; playing chicken with other vehicles, herds of camels, cows, and bullock carts. It took us five hours down these long country highways ... some paved and some not.

A girlfriend recommended we perform guerrilla tourism in Agra stating, "It's a dump. Get in, get your photos, and get out."

We rolled into our hotel, dusty, hot, and road weary. We were hungry and we were tired. The hotel was adequate ... a little dated and a lot musty. It looked like they hadn't redecorated since the 70's with glass beading and dark wood. After a brief respit, we met our guide and headed off to the Red Fort, which is depicted as the most important fort in India. There the great Mughals lived, and where for over four hundred years, the country was governed. At the fort, as is de riguer for any major tourist site here in India, we waded through the sea of hawkers, pushing a multitude of sundry POS mementos probably made in China. As Matt and I hold diplomatic IDs, we were lucky enough to pay the 'local' admission price vice the tourist fee marked up more than 1000%. The fort proved interesting and it being late afternoon, the weather was bearable. We didn't stay long, just enough to walk through the 20% of it that was available for public viewing. Then it was back for a quick dinner and camera recharging; a chance to rest up for our big day... the pinnacle of our trip ... to one of the seven wonders of the world ... the Taj Mahal.

Now would be a good time to mention that during my in-laws entire visit, and especially this trip, that Grady was teething. In fact, he cut his first tooth just two days prior to our vacation, and is still working on the other tooth breaking through. This has caused many hours of fussiness, rashes, dirty diapers, and the frustration of four adults trying to calm an at times inconsolable baby. Additionally, Riley and Sheridan both had head colds that appeared to get worse over time.

So in true Perlman form, the ailments reached a crescendo and reared their ugly head on Sunday morning. Grady woke up twice... at 2 am, and then again at 4:55 am when he refused to go back to sleep. Matt woke up with a raging sinus infection that had him feeling like he'd been punched square between the eyes. And I woke up with extreme stomach cramps, so debilitating that I couldn't get out of bed. I thought it was my GERD acting up, though even after two extra strength Tylenol, an 800 mg Ibuprofen, and four Tums, it didn't let up. I was in pain.

But we were going to the Taj Mahal. The Taj M-frickin-Hall! I refused to let my stomach pains get in the way of seeing this monument, of reveling in the architecture, of ruining our family holiday card. I slowly got everyone ready, and by 9:15 we were out the door. A short drive to the ticket counter where we again got our 'local' admission price, and then into the golf cart we went for the 1 km ride to the entrance. During this time my stomach was spasming, and I was praying that with deep breaths and focusing on the surroundings, I could work through the pain and "get in and get out."

Unfortunately, none of it went the way I had planned. As we approached the marble archway thus revealing the Taj Mahal, the pain in my stomach hit an all time high, and I immediately doubled over in agony, unable to take a single photo. In the 100 + degree heat, I got the cold sweats, and knew that it was only moments before I was going to throw up.

I quickly handed the baby to Matt, along with the video camera, DSLR camera, and my point and shoot, and headed for a quiet space to do my business... which was difficult as there were thousands of people occupying every available square inch. Thankfully I found a place quickly... because I soon bent over and got to re-live the previous evening's dinner. While my MIL stayed with me to 'hold my hair', Matt, his dad, the guide, and the kids set off to view the Taj. However, it was a short trip as they all returned less than thirty minutes later overheated and drenched in sweat. By that time I was feeling somewhat better, just enough to attempt one family photo... though, it was so horrible that I refused to have it posted. We had to go.

I left the Taj Mahal absent my family photo, breakfast, or dignity. I felt like Clark Griswold in the movie Vacation where he visits the Grand Canyon for 2.3 seconds. How anti climactic.

We checked out of the hotel around 1 pm and made the long drive back to Delhi for our 8 pm flight to Chennai. Another long, arduous drive only to be followed up by a 3 hour flight. For four hours and fifty-five minutes, the car ride to the airport proved uneventful. However, as predictable as a fine Swiss watch, Sheridan turned to Matt and mumbled something about vomit. Having been through this drill before, we quickly produced an airline vomit bag and Purell hand wipes, only seconds too late ... as Sheridan's first heave was into her cupped hands before Matt could contain the rest in the vomit bag. [Insert eye rolling and four letter words mumbled under breath here.] By the time we arrived at the airport five minutes later, Sheridan was cleaned up, the bag was sealed, and we were more than ready for our final leg of this disastrous day.

As I drifted off to sleep last night, thankful to be in my own bed, my only consolation was knowing that one day I would find this story funny. With no holiday photo in hand, today just isn't that day.

The Red Fort

Views of the Taj Mahal...
... on the left from the Red Fort ... on the right from as close as I got to the monument

Seeing Pink... in Jaipur

2009-09-25T22:46:00.005+05:30

A labyrinth of fascinating bazaars, opulent palaces and historic sights, Jaipur is often called the "Pink City" because its prominent buildings are washed in this color. Work on this city began in 1727, took six years to complete, and is laid out in a geometric grid of streets and squares ... one of India's finest examples of a planned city.

On Thursday we woke up at 4 am, got in the van at 5 am for the airport, and hopped on a 6:45 am flight to Delhi. After landing, we met our car and driver and headed southwest to Jaipur. Thankfully, we survived the 5 hour drive unscathed. After checking into our hotel, a former palace which had the girls giddy with delight, we were off for an early evening of sight seeing and shopping ... heavy on the shopping.

Today our first stop was to the Amber Fort, initially a palace established in 1592 by Raja Man Singh I. The fort offers a panoramic view of Moata Lake and the historic old town at the base of the hill. In order to get up the hill, we had to take a jeep up the steep and narrow roads. We were met at the top with gorgeous views overlooking Jaipur, spectacular architecture of the fort and surrounding city walls, and hoards of hockers selling their wares. Our guide walked us through the fort, explaining in detail every wall, every building, every design. After snapping as many photos as we could, while dealing with the girls who were obviously bored out of their mind, we were ready to move on. While walking back, Matt couldn't contain his frustration with the throngs of annoying peddlers, so he tried to sell a half-empty bottle of Sprite to every single person who tried to sell him an ugly pen, postcard, mirror, or funky instrument. Amazing how quickly they went away.

We drove through the Old City of Jaipur, snapped a few photos of the Water Palace, stopped at the City Palace to take photos of the facade which has over 900 windows, and then Matt and I separated from everyone so we could go carpet shopping. With a referral from a friend in Chennai, we stopped at a family run carpet factory just outside the old city. There, we got to see how block printing was done to make table cloths, and had an amazing step-by-step demonstration of how carpets are made on the loom... all the way through selling the finished product. It was very cool. We then purchased two carpets... after several hours of looking, feeling, touching, switching, comparing, and visualizing the furniture at our house in Chennai and what we have in storage in Maryland. Matt and I finished our carpet expedition by having a traditional Indian lunch with the shop owners. We're building relationships!

After a final stop at a shop to pick up some cushions I found far less up here than in Chennai, we went back to the hotel where we met the girls and Matt's folks, who then went shopping in the early evening.

Tomorrow we're heading to to Agra and will spend the next day on the road. So far, so good, no vomit. Though, as I'm well aware, there's still time...

Arriving at our hotel in Jaipur ... The City Palace ... Archways into Jaipur's Old City

The Amber Fort ... Piled into the Jeep ... In the Sheesh Mahal

Carpet Demonstration ... Our New Carpet (a traditional Jaipur design) ...
Watching the process of carpet making

The Water Palace ... At dinner with very sleepy girls

There WILL Be Vomit

2009-09-23T21:08:00.005+05:30

Tomorrow morning we're traveling up north to the Golden Triangle of India... Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur. We're leaving early. Very early. Like the butt crack of dawn, can't believe I'm up WAY before the sun comes up, early. We're heading out on the first flight of the day, which departs around the time that most people would be hitting the snooze button for the second on their alarm clock.

We usually take a trip with our parents' whenever they come to visit us overseas. It gives us a chance to see the sights where we live, and then before we start getting on each others nerves, we get the heck out of dodge to see something new. Last time Matt's parents visited us in Israel, we went to Cairo to see the pyramids.... and several months before that we went with my family to Petra in Jordan. We've been waiting to see the Taj Mahal with Matt's folks ever since we found out we would be posted in India.

Of course, it won't be a true vacation unless someone gets car sick. As many of you dedicated followers know, Riley and Sheridan have a penchant for vomiting. Without fail, it happens on EVERY single ride to the airport, or hotel, or some point during the transportation phase of the vacation. It's a virtual guarantee that it's going to happen... at least one of the girls will be sick. No matter how far in advance I plan, I prepare, I anticipate... they always hit the one part of their clothes that I hadn't covered, or the part of the car seat that just doesn't lend itself to easy cleaning. And this trip? We have several hours EACH day where we'll be on the road. There's easily a couple opportunities a day for someone to get sick.

So I'm ready. I've pulled out the vomit bags that I've collected from many years of airline travel. I've put a second set of clothing in each girls bag. I have Dramamine. Bring it on!

Or don't... I'm really okay if it doesn't happen. Really, really okay. Because ... my father in law is a sympathetic vomiter. And while I can handle kids puking their guts out, I'm not so sure how I'll do if he follows suit. Do I pack him an extra set of clothes too?

Stay tuned...

Rosh Hashanah Israeli Style

2009-09-19T16:37:00.006+05:30

It's hard to believe that we're ringing in another Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah 5770) in India ... and with the same families from last year!

This year we decided to include the kids as the festivities called for an earlier start time. However, while dinner was scheduled to commence at 7 pm, we foolishly neglected to account for Israeli time, which equates to about 8:30 pm.

It was an enjoyable evening with plenty of Sephardic symbolic fare (say THAT five times fast) ... each provided with its own explanation (mostly real, though in some instances fabricated on the spot). In addition to the traditional dishes (say THAT three times fast), this year 's highlight was a platter with a fish head the size of an orca whale (understanding that biologically a whale is not a fish). This custom, albeit a little macabre, signifies "It is better to be like the head (leaders) than like the tail (followers)." Thank goodness ... because if the symbol was reversed you can only imagine what would have been on the table.

In all we had a great time, ate fantastic food, and drank way too much Israeli wine ... so much so that Matt slept through his alarm that was set at 3 am to go to the airport and pick up his parents who flew in this morning. In fact, he'd still be sleeping if he wasn't awaken by a text message at 4 am from our driver. As luck would have it, his parents breezed through the airport H1N1 medical screening, immigration, and baggage claim all within an unusually expeditious thirty minutes from landing. So Matt found them an hour later than scheduled, waiting outside the airport, fending off the throngs of auto rickshaw and taxi drivers. If not for the five full sized suitcases and box of frozen chorizo sausage and cheese, they probably could have taken an auto... that is, if they had our address ... or even our phone number.

L'Shana Tova Umetukah. May you be inscribed for blessings in the book of life...

Left: The Beautiful Tables ... Right: The infamous fish head...

The girls lighting the Shabbat candles

Left: The guests during the opening blessings ... Right: My boys

With the hostess

The Duvets Are Done!

2009-09-18T08:37:00.004+05:30

Finding the time to complete the girls duvet covers this week proved quite challenging. But I did it ... the girls LOVE them ... and so do I.

Each side is a different color and design. The first photo below is what the girls specifically asked for... very colorful ... very India ... with many different fabrics.

Sheridan's bed is on the left ... Riley's on the right

The other side below is a little more whimsical... softer colors and a wider range of fabrics.

All that's left to sew are the pillows ... which will have to wait. But when I finish them, and the curtains, I'll post the completed room!

Name That Rash ~ Round 3

2009-09-16T09:15:00.003+05:30

We thankfully haven't played this "game" for awhile... though with Matt's parent's coming to Chennai this weekend, it's only fitting that Grady's rash around his eyes should get worse!

Grady has had this rash for about 3 weeks now. It started off as just a minor irritation that I noticed when I picked him up out of his crib after he was crying. A couple of cuddles, and twenty minutes later it dissipated. For a few hours. The next time it came back looking irritated and with raised red dot. Which I only noticed after he had been crying. Give him a few more cuddles, wipe his eyes, wait a little bit and it goes away. Until it comes back with another dot, and a little more irritated... and repeat, repeat, repeat.

I took him to the doctor at the Consulate yesterday, an exercise in sheer futility. After attempting to guess why he has the rash (no it's not because I use give him a bath as I don't wash his face with soap ... no I don't use baby wipes on his face and certainly not near his eyes ... no I don't wear perfume, so clearly there's no scent getting on his face ... no I don't use lanolin on him ... no, the water coming out of the tub is just fine, I don't need to use the distilled water on him...) we concluded that we need to see the dermatologist.

BUT, before I go, I'm showing photos of his eyes just in case any of you can help me decipher what it is and why he has it. The photo on the left is what his eye looked like about an hour after he woke up this morning... about the time the rash starts to go away (for now). As you can see, it's only in the corners, on both the upper and lower lids, and no, it's not a mosquito bite. The photo on the right is his other eye, where a new rash is starting to form. He is 4 months now and he's teething...

Any ideas?

Madras... In Madras

2009-09-14T21:02:00.003+05:30

In honor of his 4 month birthday, Grady decided to spend the day in his madras ensemble... as if he really had a choice. It seemed only fitting to be wearing such a festive outfit named after the place in which he lives (Chennai was actually known as Madras until 1996 when the Tamil Nadu Government renamed the city its Tamil name instead of the English one).

Walk With Me...

2009-09-11T22:39:00.001+05:30

Matt often refers to India as an assault on the senses. The noise, the smells, and the sounds can at times be overwhelming. It's very difficult to capture what life is really like here; one can't truly appreciate it until they've seen it with their own eyes.

For several months I've been asked to upload photos around town... things I see on a daily basis. As one who isn't normally comfortable hopping out of my car at any given time to snap away, I usually would just find ways to cleverly take out my little Canon digital point and shoot and discreetly take photos.

Until today.

My driver took me and a friend out around town where we both used our DSLR cameras to photograph Chennai. We started off by taking photos out the window from inside the moving car. As that proved to be a little challenging, we decided to hop out of the car and walk up at down some streets. I wasn't quite sure what I was trying to capture while snapping over 200 photos.... the poverty, the filth, the innocence. It tugs at your heart strings when you drive down through these slums and see kids running around naked, or animals eating anything and everything to survive.

It's raw, but it's real. Come with me as I show you a little more of Chennai...

Relaxing ... Pumping Water ... Peeling Onions

An Ironing Stall ... A Tailor Stall ... A Tailor on the Street

Coconuts ... Banana Leaves

A National Pastime

Innocence...

Beachfront Properties ... Literally

In My Spare Time...

2009-09-09T21:59:00.007+05:30

I sew.

I'm a total Becky-Home-Ecky!

I love the process of deciding what I'm going to make, and watching the transformation take place from unwrapping a few metres of folded up fabric to photographing the finished piece.

When we moved into our new house we decided to put the girls into bigger beds as the size of their room was much larger than their previous one, and the space could accommodate both of them in queens. However, we only had bedding for their twin beds ( which, if you remember, I also made...). I now had to design an entirely new ensemble.

The girls took an active role in deciding what they wanted and sent me to the store to pick out the fabric. After two trips to an amazing fabric store near our house, I came home on Saturday with about 30 metres of the most colorful designs... bright pinks, gorgeous aquas, emerald greens, satin purples... just enough to sew two queen duvets, two queen bed skirts, and 6-8 throw pillows. The girls squealed with delight.

I finished with both of their bed skirts. It's exciting to see how different their beds look now that they finally have them... the pop of color really adds something to the room.

Here are a few photos of them... Sheridan's is the pink one, Riley's is the blue. Just remember that I took these photos at 7 pm... the room has no natural light. I also threw in a few photos of the little munchkin for good measure. 'Cuz hey ~ he's cute, and in my other bits of "spare time" I spend it with him...

Reality Bites

2009-09-06T16:09:00.005+05:30

While sitting around the dining room table today at lunch, Riley informed me that she's changed her mind. She no longer wants to be an artist when she grows up, she wants to be a mom.

Me: "That's a very hard job." "Do you think you can handle it?"

Riley: "Well, I already know how to yell. Really loud."