the perpetually dissatisfied

dear tall guy in the blue plaid shirt

2010-08-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

Dear tall guy in the blue plaid shirt,

I saw you when I walked into the building. Your back was onto me but I knew it was you. Your shoulders are broad just the way I like them. I think it would be really nice to hug you.
I quickened my steps and followed you into the elevator. This is the second time we've been together there. You always have a smoothie with you. I love the fact that you wear glasses. You look so smart in them. You took them off for awhile earlier and I think my heart skipped a beat. I think I caught your eye. But that could be just my imagination.

I know more than half of my friends would argue that you are gay,but who cares?

Thanks for making the ride to the fourteenth a bit more exciting today.
I'm hoping for a third time.

Love, M.

let it be

2010-05-27T21:42:00.001+08:00

let it be

sometimes, no matter how hard we try, plans go wrong, people go away, things come late...

and we are left with no choice but pray and have some faith...

revamping

2010-05-18T22:04:00.000+08:00

after being quiet for so long,
it's so nice to be back :)

updates:
i chopped my long chemically-straightened hair.
am now rocking my shoulder-length naturally wavy locks!

if only life was this simple

2010-03-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

keep in mind that...

2010-03-16T22:27:00.002+08:00

skirts

2010-03-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

these skirts make me wanna ditch my ever trusty skinny pants.

today's top five

2010-03-11T15:57:00.001+08:00

hayleycakes

i'm feelng a teeny bit sadder than usual today. in an effort to cheer myself up, i decided to list down 10 things that made(and makes!) me smile...

1. the blue cup (of tea) and orange saucer it's on that sitting on my desk right now. i just love that the mismatched pair looks rustic.

2. this spider tattoo.

3. sex on fire by kings of leon.

4. this makeup set. i'd kill for it.

5. my overgrown bangs. it's already past my eyebrows but i love how it softens my features!

6.the buttercream biscuits i just had. yum :)

7. who wouldn't love this shoe collection?

8. this. lol

9. the cake boss.

10. the walk home with kaye and jess.

this made me think...

2010-03-11T14:44:00.000+08:00

weheartit

i would have to say that it's been a long time. and somehow that bothers me. worries me.

have i become boring? have i lost my zest for life?

trying out new things used to top my list. it freaks me out big time but it's exhilirating all the same.

i used to live for the thrill. but now what?

some days feel so stuck in this daily routine of work and home. at the same time, i feel that i am left with no choice considering the tough times.

reading list

2010-03-05T21:41:00.003+08:00

i'm sick and the only plan i have for the weekend is to stay in bed until noon, watch HBO and maybe finish one of the books on my reading list.

here are the books currently stacked on my bedside table:

choke by chuck palahniuk

the pelican brief by john grisham

wicked by gregory maguire

what is about love that...

2010-03-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

what is it about love that reduces someone so extraordinary, spunky and crazy into a common girl?
that's how it is to me. and no matter how much i seem to resent it, it is refreshingly normal all the same.

being friends...

2010-03-05T21:09:00.001+08:00

pictureshaykyloves

on my way home last night i, along with two good friends, came across Hank and his girl.
and man, i hate that girl. while spewing criticisms at her, in a flash of anger, i almost blurted out hank's biggest secret. my mind just clouded over and pure hate took control. it felt so good spitting it out. until about six blocks later i realized that had been in the wrong company, i would have totally wrecked our friendship.

and that made me appreciate what we have. although i will always want us to be more, for now, i can't stand the thought of not having any sort of relationship with him. he may not be my lover but i am still his friend. and this is what i am ultimately good at. i'm good at being a friend. and these past few days i'm becoming even more better at that with him.

first of summer

2010-03-01T14:56:00.002+08:00

i can't believe it's march already! and since we have no spring here, it's officially summer :)
everything feels kinda lovely today...
i woke up feeling like i'm going to meet the One today.
do ever get that feeling? that you're going to meet that one person you've been longing for on that very day?
i wonder if we can predict such things. or feel it coming. can we tell when the One is on his/her way?
i think i just used the word feel in three consecutive sentences.well three's a lucky number people!

hank is sick

2010-02-26T20:54:00.000+08:00

Hank is sick. and boy am i grabbing all opportunities to check him for fever ;)
seriously, that guy is sick a lot. seeing him all teary-eyed with cold and sniffing like that makes me want to take care of him. no matter how much i grew to hate hank, i will always have a soft spot for him.

fab cupcakes

2010-02-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

i love all things pretty and sweet so i cannot not post this.

fab cupcakes by wendy's cake art.

sweet :)

mr. 15th floor

2010-02-25T17:38:00.001+08:00

brandydarling

i saw mr.15th-floor today and managed a half smile. i could've done so much better but when you see your occasional crush,it's simply not that easy.
who is mr.15th-floor? i don't know his name. nor his age. i'm guessing he's around 25 though. he works on the 15th floor but also has an office on the 14th (the floor where i work). he likes to look at me when we pass each other, give me an almost-smile-but-not-quite then walk away.he's never asked for my name. and i have no intention(at the moment)to ask his. sometimes, he looks like he wants to say hi. i bet i look like that to him sometimes,too. we've been like this for nearly a year now.
i would say he's nothing special, really. it's just that he manages to make me feel giddy and pretty. and to any girl, that's big deal.
i wonder if we will ever get around to actually saying hi. and what would happen after that.

the world's biggest liar

2010-02-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

today, i feel like the world's biggest liar.
i don't think it's over yet.
sometimes i'm afraid that it will never be.
these past few days i've just been stronger.
but still it doesn't change the truth.
what is about you that just draws me near?
just one touch...one word...that's all it takes for you to own me again.
you never make me feel like you want me but you always make me feel like i want you.

everything's cool,calm and quiet

2010-02-18T17:26:00.007+08:00

wow. it's been a few days but really there's not much to say. just a few things i'd like to have in the open. a few things that seemed to be too good to not mention.
thanks to the long weekend, i've had the chance to think a lot of things over(reasons why me being alone right now is not such a bad thing), watch nick and nora's infinite playlist (which i'm so in love with until now!) let go of certain things i didn't know i was still holding on to (like stuff that goes 15 years back!), talk to my mom about my fears of perpetual singledom (she dispensed a wonderful a advise!) and get some bangs (i'm utterly convinced that they're cute but a few colleagues beg to differ) :p

i didn't know that it was possible for all the personal drama with Hank to end. but mercifully,it did. he's no longer up here in my head all the time. he's no longer the first thought in the morning nor the last at night. i could care less about him now. all these without the feeling of bitterness. and man, it took me more than two hundred days to get it over with. that's been a lot of time so you can imagine how light it feels to have everything off my chest.

i don't know what i should call this period in my life. it seems like i have hit a lull. everything is just so quiet. nothing's really happening. old problems are still problems. everything's routine. there are some important decisions to make soon but i am yet to feel their gravity.

you'd expect me to feel bored but i'm not. change is more than welcome but i am really in no hurry to shake things up. there's a sense of relief. realization that the worst is over. not only pertaining to Hank but basically my whole life. i don't know how i can say that because i haven't been even halfway through. i think this is one of the things i'll be saying over and over as long as i'm breathing.

perhaps this is a time for growing up. a calm but apparent transition. like leaves turning orange in autumn.

glaringly single

2010-02-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

nadyabird

i am glaringly single. in our team i am known as the single one. the one to be set up with guys. the unattached.
the one who's legal to flirt. oh boy, i love that last one.

i don't want to be all mopey this weekend just because it's v-day.
afterall, it's not really my fault that i'm single. it hardly ever is. single people are single because we either a.) choose to be, b.)haven't found the right one.

i'm happy for all the couples who will be celebrating. you guys are lucky to have found each other :)

honestly, i can't wait to meet the One. however while i am waiting, let me share with you one of the things that i enjoy about my single status:
i don't have to constantly update anyone about what i'm doing nor my whereabouts. there's this sense of freedom that is really quite enjoyable. i don't have to answer to anyone.

feel free to add your own reasons below.
and you can also ask your friends to join in :)

gorgeous

2010-02-12T16:24:00.002+08:00

the glowing cheeks, barely there lipstick, beautifully defined eyes, and the sleek bun.

i just can't not post this.

simply stunning.

(via glamour)

just let me stare at you

2010-02-12T14:45:00.002+08:00

louobedlam

just let me stare at you.

please don't protest.

that's all i'm gonna ask for today. promise.

guilty

2010-02-11T21:50:00.002+08:00

weheartit

i'm guilty...
of changing.
of being scared.
of not knowing what to do.
of hurting you.
of (possibly) being the worst friend ever.

i'm guilty as hell. Cal's been asking me if anything's wrong. he said i changed. i think i did.
but it's only because i'm freaking out. this is me secretly freaking out. pushing people away. running the opposite direction. classic. it makes me sound like a guy. and i feel terrible about it.

why am i staying away from him? maybe because i feel uncomfortable? maybe because i don't know what to do? actually, i think i need to know what to do because i'm a girl. and girls are just good with dealing with things like this, right? maybe i'm not thinking straight.possibly, i'm also afraid. no, don't get me wrong. i'm not afraid of what i'm feeling because i'm pretty sure i know what i'm feeling. i'm afraid of what he's feeling. i'm afraid of his advances(yes there are still advances from him after this text!). i'm afraid of being this girl who broke his heart. oh God, i know how bad it is to have your heart broken.

what's worse is that i know i'm hurting him right now. but still i can't stand to be there with him.

dear hank...

2010-02-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

missedconnections

hank,
i don't miss you as much.
i don't want you as much.

natural lighting

2010-02-10T21:00:00.002+08:00

tumblr

i'm becoming a big fan of rooms with natural lighting.

i don't know much about this room that i came across so if any of you have any info about it then feel free to leave a message below.

i'd love to know whose work it is, where to find it and photo credit :)

mid-month slump

2010-02-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

fashion156

well it's not technically the middle of the month yet but it is almost that time of the month. the dreaded pms. pre and post in my case. i came to calling these days the mid month slump because that's when it used to fall (thanks to an irregular cycle,it's on a different week of every month now).
i feel extra everything. extra hungry, extra sleepy, extra mopey, extra loud, extra jumpy, extra tired, extra irritable and maybe even extra annoying to some people.
it's terrible.it's insane.
it doesn't help that tomorrow is a wednesday. i have to get up extra early to attend a meeting, work until 11 pm,and pull through one of the busiest of class schedules. it's basically a 15-hour workday! i guess they call it hump-day for a reason.

a genius way to save

2010-02-08T15:15:00.002+08:00

via post-grad haircut

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