The Phylotopian

Marx & me

2014-06-04T18:30:00.001+00:00

Once again I was asked what my politics are and once again I was challenged in my reply. The thing is, I’m a Marxist and I'm also self-employed, so pay myself creatively to minimise my taxation.

But how can this be Phil? Surely you’re a hypocrite?

Well, no.

There are, in my reading of the ideology, two tenets to Marxism. The first is that it is a revolutionary party, but obviously there will never be a revolution in the UK. Mainly because people are being fed lies by the media all the time over who is to blame for the fundamental economic and societal problems that we have faced for the last 30 or so years. 147 years ago, Marx himself though the revolution would happen here because workers were increasingly leaving their agrarian lives and moving to cities, to sell the one commodity that we all have – our labour. Control of their lives was sold for a price to a factory or mill owner who while taking in massive profits, paid just enough to keep his workforce from starving. Marx theorised that the people would get sick of this, realise the exploitation being forced upon them and rise up. But, for whatever reason it didn’t happen here. Instead it happened in Russia, where the population in Marx’s own words were ‘lumpenproletariat’ a group that were unlikely to achieve any class consciousness. But they had one of the most charismatic and intelligent leaders to grace any period of history in Lenin who identified a single target – the Tsarist system and her fomented a revolution around this. Today the left is woefully divided and the chances of this happening again are remote. But that is another story and I digress.

Our current political class are obviously a hopeless bunch. If I give them my money, what will they do with it? They might spend billions on renewing the Trident submarines so that we can carry on fighting a cold war that ended 25 years ago as I was leaving the RAF, although the timing of those two events is entirely coincidental. I thought the (made up) enemy now was a loose collective of people who hated our freedoms, people who could be anywhere, could be everywhere? So people we cannot hit with nuclear missiles. We could round up all the ‘casino bankers’ who caused the recent crisis and hit them with missiles but can’t see that happening. Why the hell do I want to pay any tax to fund this? It is surely a revolutionary act to deny this outdated mind-set of the funds needed to achieve their needless goals?

The second tenet of Marxism is the redistribution of wealth. Now let me put in a caveat before I go any further, that I am only too aware of how lucky I am and nothing I say now is in anyway gloating. It breaks my heart that there are almost certainly people within a mile of me who are hungry tonight because of the welfare ‘reforms’. But if the welfare state and NHS were funded better maybe I’d be inclined to contribute more. What I can do and boy do I, is spend more. I’ve never had a saving mentality. If I die more than £10 in credit, my like will have been a failure. But every penny you spend helps someone. It helps the person who designed, produced, packaged and transported that product. It helps the people who work in the shop where you bought it. It helps them and their families to get by decently.

Just spend your money wisely. Do you know why all big Tesco stores have a filling station and why the fuel there is cheap? Because they sell it at a loss figuring that while you are there you’ll probably do you weekly shop there too. Well don’t; fill up at Tesco and drive to Sainsbury’s! As I have argued before, the most powerful political weapon we have is not where we put our cross every five years, but where we spend our money every day. Use that weapon carefully and redistribute the wealth according to your own plan.

It’s a personal Marxism and I’m comfortable with it.

Paint You a Picture.

2014-05-28T19:03:00.002+00:00

Nature blew me a whirlwind that couldn't be ignored; the laughter was too infectious, the smile will melt diamonds. And those eyes. In a capricious moment I wondered, without thinking asked, it’ll be fun and for a second there was no reality. But then of course, there was.

During conversation about everything and nothing she reveals “I've never been in love” and I want to embrace that feeling and the joy it will bring.

And so I'm bought back here. To the comments left with a grin leading to the mail, proper mail on paper, signed with love and the calls that glowed with passion. Passion doesn't always make you do the right thing but it will always make you do something.

“Phil, don’t think, I’ll be at Heathrow in 48 hours” and so I don't think, I hoover and I buy fruit for the bowl so that she won't think I'm a savage. I get to the airport hours too early and fidget with my coffee, unable to have a cigarette in case I miss her. I look at every face until I see hers and she smiles… And I melt. Then I think. I think what is this? We talk, a little forced, then friendly and finally like lovers.

Walking through Datchet, from a doctor’s appointment I couldn't miss, we pass the pub which she has to go into as she’s American and has only before seen pictures of a building that old. It’s familiar to me so I relax. I absorb her looks, watch her take in every detail.

We return home and eat cheese and avocado on the floor. She laughs at Have I Got News for You? pretending maybe, that she gets the nuanced humour. Another smile, this one with an edge and... must I paint you a picture?

Only love can make you feel like that.

In the morning, the sun shines, gilding the frame around our picture. In Windsor she doesn't want to go to the castle as she knows I'm a republican and it makes her laugh because at home a Republican loves George Bush and it was the barbs I aimed him which bought her to me.

In London we sing The Kinks’ Waterloo Sunset to each other as the train pulls in and we ignore the embarrassed stares but notice smiles.

Only love can make you feel like that.

At the National we find The Haywain and though she's looked at it countless times, she's never seen it before. She's an artist and she cries at the depth, the brush strokes, the layers. And I watch her face with an equal emotion.

At Heathrow again, we cannot speak, we just hold each other and wish that time was meaningless and that we could stop it there.

I see her three more times and then it's over. I have to end it and it destroys me. Because only love can make you feel like that too.

I can listen to this again and smile now.

Because pain always heals and love is never lost.

What in the name of Greek buggery?

2012-02-21T22:30:00.004+00:00

Before I retire to bed, can I just shout at the world one more time. Let's all have a look at this story shall we?

Greece averted nightmare scenario - finance minister

So a 'nightmare' has been averted. Wonderful. Those Greeks who had nothing to do with this crisis must be sleeping tight tonight as they ponder the collapse of their country's financial system and the 10 or so years of austerity that they now face. That we also face. And for what? To prop up a currency, the Euro, that has everything to do with political posturing and nothing to do with economic reality.

Be sure, the Euro is ALL about politics, nothing to do with economics. Some very heavy-weight figures, past and present, from Delors to Legarde, Mitterand to Merkel have their reputations staked on this farce. It cannot be allowed to fail regardless of the pain and misery it will cause.

We all have to deal with banks - but we have to deal with them on planet earth; Euro nations don't. Say I borrowed £100,000 from my bank. After 6 months I am struggling to pay it back so I go to the bank. They will insist that I budget of course, cancel my mobile, cable TV subscription etc and if I show them the resolve required to get myself out of the sticky situation, they may be sympathetic. What they will not do is say to me "OK phylos, you're struggling to pay off this debt so we'll lend you another £100,000". It makes no sense does it? You and I can see that, but we don't have any political dogma to follow.

Greece never met the criteria for joining the Euro. Everyone knows that. But what they did, hand in hand with Goldman Sachs was to come up with a financial instrument called a debt swap. They hid I believe, about €2,000,000,000 (two billion) Euros worth of debt using this tool. Goldman made about half a billion in fees so they're happy. Euro politicians welcomed Greece into the fold not even bothering to cross their finger behind their backs. They were happy too. What on earth could go wrong?

Well now we know.

What disappoints me the most is that once, I was the most pro-European person I knew. I looked at the tired, complacent political system in the UK and saw Europe as a shiny new alternative. But, it isn't. It's the same old shit flushing down a different toilet. A little while ago, several countries allied and refused to sign off the European Union's audited budget for 2010. This was the SEVENTEENTH consecutive year that there have been major problems with signing off the accounts for the €150 billion that the EU spends each year. Reasons range from fraud to lord knows what. Around half of the money spent each year by the EU cannot be accounted for. Yet this institution now runs not only the EU, but directly runs Italy. There isn't a single elected politician in any significant political position in the Italian cabinet. They have all been parachuted in from Europe. The crappy European politicians that are happy losing the odd €100 billion down the back of the sofa. Greece faces the same future.

So what future do we face? Unrest? Revolt? Revolution? All I know is the Karl Marx is looking down from Highgate and saying "I told you this would happen".

What he won't be doing though is gloating.

On a Rotten System

2012-02-21T19:42:00.003+00:00

Having spent a few days reading the 'topian back to myself and reflecting on the days when I could shoot off 1,000 words at the drop of the hat, it is no surprise to see so many of my posts rooted in anger. More accurately, impotent anger. Looking at the problems of society, pondering why nothing is done and questioning the motives as to why nothing is done. The pensions 'crisis' we keep getting told about for example. The crisis that according to Cameron (henceforth to be know as Dishface as I cannot bring myself to type his name any more than I can type Th#tch3r’s name) would bankrupt the UK unless urgent action was taken. This pensions crisis led to a major reform of public sector pensions, as we were told that the current cost projections were simply unaffordable. The reforms alienated 99% of public sector employees, led to strikes, demonstrations and ill feeling on all sides. Now the dust has settled, the Institute of Actuaries recently reported that the reformed system could end up costing the country MORE than the previous system. At the very least, the reforms are unlikely to save money in long-term.

So nice work Dishface. I’m sure you’ll contribute a few quid from your £30,000,000 fortune. As you keep saying – we’re all in this together aren’t we. (?)

There are many faults with 'the system'. Some of these are unavoidable of course. The price we pay to live in a society that is nominally at least, considered free. But I admit I am lucky. I’ve only been unemployed once in my working life of 30 odd years now. The system actually let me down then, taking 10 weeks to process my benefit claims. But I was living with a patient and understanding woman at the time or lord knows what would have happened to me. It is as close as I have come to becoming a statistic. Another homeless, unemployed mental on the street statistic.

But – and this will now become a very self indulgent rant – I have been let down again. By the police and the system that they are forced to operate under in this new austere climate. Let me say from the off, that I do not blame any of the individuals involved, but the ‘system’ (that word again) which they are forced to operate under.

A couple of weeks ago, a truck belonging to R****** F****** Services reversed out of a car park into the back of my car, parked outside of my house. I knew nothing of it, as I was at work 40 miles away. But a splendidly kind woman working opposite saw the incident and was thoughtful enough to take down the details of the vehicle concerned and pass them on to me. This was all reported on to the police and my insurance company. My car was fixed. I had to pay my excess of £250, but this would be recoverable. I’m also self employed so lost income when I had to take time off to complete the endless paperwork required by the police and when the car was picked up and returned. Overall I’m down about £800.

I received an email from the police this afternoon. They have received a very full and detailed witness statement, but unfortunately, my witness ticked the box saying that she would not be prepared to give evidence in court as to what she saw. R****** F****** S******* have of course denied any liability. So the police have advised me that there is very little chance that there will be prosecution.

Brilliant.

Decisions like this have a much wider implication on society. The driver of the vehicle which damaged my car could be sat in a pub now gloating about how he hit a car and has got away with it. Not even three points. He'll be laughing with his mates at the poor sap who has lost £800. His mates will tell their mates and a mind-set develops. One that convinces people that they can get away with this sort of crap.

Would it not be better for all of us if he was sat there saying "I tried to get away with it, but failed. The system caught me. Can you buy me a pint as I've lost my job?" Now I don't want to see anyone lose their job, but equally, should a guilty person not pay.

Has anyone else noticed that as your no claims bonus grows, your insurance premiums remain the same or even increase? Well, this is why. I have ranted many, many times about rights and responsibilities. Everyone knows their 'rights', but few understand that rights go hand in hand with responsibility. Until this is widely understood and, more importantly accepted, the spiral will continue downwards.

Think about it. You may be next.

A return?

2012-01-06T10:37:00.001+00:00

Nearly. It's coming. It is! I promise.

Of love & leaving. And holidays.

2010-01-07T22:19:00.003+00:00

The best and the worst thing about my job is that it brings me into daily contact with the human race. Fortunately I don't have to speak to them on the telephone, somebody else does that, but I do get to read their rambling, incoherent, poorly written letters. And I get some gems! I'm compiling a selection for your delight and delectation, but I had to share this one with you now.

It came from a chap who is claiming money from a failed holiday company. He'd submitted forms for two identical holidays a fact that he felt the need to explain...

I booked my holiday over the internet on the afternoon of 16 December. It was only when I printed off the receipt that I realised that I'd forgotten to include my girlfriend.

Who says romance is dead? Not Romeo here, for his true love is never more that a moment away from his thoughts. I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Winter Wonderland

2010-01-07T11:21:00.002+00:00

I was in Sainsburys yesterday, stocking up on Bovril, oats, Kendal Mint Cake – the sorts of things one needs to get through the nuclear winter we are currently in the midst off. As the greater populace are showing a distinct lack of the sort of determination that once built us an Empire, only about three members of staff had bothered to show up. Consequently, there were no proper tills open, just the self service ones I so despise.

Needs must however, so grasping my basket, I joined the rear of the shortest queue. I judged that I’d be queuing for around 20 minutes, so I began to examine the people around me. What else does one do in a queue? The chap in front of me didn’t have a laden basket like most of my fellow shoppers. He only had one item. A sachet of instant chocolate drink. Yes, just one sachet of instant chocolate drink. I like a chocolate drink as much as the next man, but clearly not as much as this man. How desperate does a person have to be leave the warmth of his home, venture out into the snow, queue for 20 minutes, then trek home simply for one mug of watery chocolate drink? I don’t think I’ve ever shown that degree of commitment to anything. If I’d caught his name I’d have nominated him for an OBE. I salute you sir.

Apropos of nothing, since quitting smoking a few weeks ago my body is expelling all manner of luridly coloured fluids and juices. I think I should keep it all in a jar.

Do it yourself

2009-04-21T18:24:00.003+00:00

I’ve had cause, in posts passim, to moan about the appalling standard of customer service in this country before. Clearly I haven’t been listened to, so I’m going to have to do it again. Same shop though – Sainsburys.

Last time, it was because I was asked “Would you like any help packing?” when I was buying three items. They are now at the other end of the spectrum. Recently the Sainsburys in Reading town centre has had about half its checkouts removed and replaced with self service check outs. So you do your own scanning and bagging. It’s an obvious money saving rouse as the customer does what traditionally stores have had to pay people to do. I’ve used these machines before in M&S and found them satisfactory as long as there are staff about to help you. If you don’t put your goods into the bag quick enough the machines go “beep, beep, beep” and request you seek assistance. Buying wine? “beep, beep, beep.” Aspirin? “beep, beep, beep.” Bleach? “beep, beep, beep.” You get the idea.

This works in M&S as they have about one member of staff to four self service tills, but Sainsburys have about one for eight. Unsurprisingly, it was pretty busy there tonight after office hours. Or does the Reading store have a new manager with no retail experience as this flood of people seemed to have taken them totally by surprise. Is it “bring your child to work week” leading to the store being managed by 2 five year olds? (This will doubtless be the subject to a later post if any bloody children are bought in to my office, but we’ll cross that bridge at the time.) There were 7 or 8 people queuing for each bank of four tills and one harassed assistant trying to quell the beeps.

There was only one proper checkout open. It had seventeen people in the queue. I counted them. I think that’s a pretty clear vote on the popularity of self service checkouts. Will anything change? No.

This will soon be re-written and emailed to Sainsburys for their comments. I will of course share any reply. In fact, I can probably do that now…

Blah, blah, blah, disappointing shopping experience, blah, blah, blah, embracing new technology, blah, blah, blah, some difficulties in the transitional phase, blah, blah, blah, we welcome your money – sorry feedback… and so it will go on.

I went on as well. To Marks & Spencer. Their fine wines are very reasonably priced.

Bullies

2009-04-18T02:21:00.006+00:00

This annoys me...

Court jails Pirate Bay founders

A court in Sweden has jailed four men behind The Pirate Bay (TPB), the world's most high-profile file-sharing website, in a landmark case.

Forgive me if I'm wrong (yeah), but TPB aren't really a file sharing network if you boil it down. They are a glorified search engine for torrent trackers. The whole point about torrenting is that you are lifting stuff from somebody's computer, not a massive database of stored material, hosted, managed and distributed by The Bay. It's high-tech Socialism and it works. As does the more traditional Socialism, but that's for another day.

I know torrenting is illegal, which is why you'll never catch me doing it, so TPB are facilitating the sharing of copyrighted material, but I could just as easily search Google for say "30 Rock torrents" and guess what - I'd find links for 30 Rock torrents.

But Sony, EMI, etc didn't sue Google did they?

No.

Why?

Because Google are FUCKING MASSIVE, worth $$$$$$$ and probably have a pretty sharp legal team? I mean a better legal team even than Jacko's. Shit, I bet they even got Denny Crane leading. Best to pick on a bunch of geeky stoners who saw the whole thing as a bit of a wheeze right from the start, safe in the knowledge that, whatever the result their cult status would remain intact.

It's maddening. The best way to celebrate this victory for 'the man' is to, all of you, torrent at least one file. Now. Use The Bay, it's still live and as they say "Don't worry - we're from the internets. It's going to be alright. :-)"

Will this result stop torrenting? Yes. In exactly the same way that Bush/Bliar's war on terror has ended terrorism. Oh, hang on...

I can recommend 30 Rock by the way. And Boston Legal.

More tea vicar?

2009-04-16T20:58:00.001+00:00

"If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time." Bertrand Russell 1952.

D Day

2009-02-02T15:39:00.003+00:00

Yes, it's Transfer Deadline Day.

And once again, the mighty Spurs are being linked to every two-footed male from Fatty Foulke to some bloke who has a smooth bottom.

There's only one name on our lips though.

Come back Robbie Keane,
Oh, where have you been...

On a bench in Liverpool. Criminal.

Insomnia

2008-08-27T19:59:00.001+00:00

I had the weirdest f'kin insomnia last night. It gets me, I don't know - monthly maybe. Full moon? There is a shit load of apocryphal evidence showing that people and animals react to full moons but it's the sort of thing that science just hates. I swear my cats get feisty on the full moon and a friend of mine who used to work in nursing told me that old people and nutters (two for two) get all hyper on the night the moon is at its fullest. But the trouble with science - much as I respect it, is that when faced with overwhelming circumstantial evidence but nothing which can be put into an equation it just doesn't compute in them rigorously logical minds. But I digress.

My insomnia is normally of the kind that I consider traditional - it's my most common form anyway; my frontal lobe just goes off on tangent upon tangent, weaving conversations into imaginations into lucid dreams into, well into the parts of my subconscious that I really sort of love but which I am too fond of sleep to visit often. The noise up there is so great that sometimes I'm surprised anyone in the house can sleep let alone me.

Last night was nothing like that at all. Last night the inside of my head, my subconscious was the universe. It was all that is known and it was all that is unknown. I had the most astonishing and I really do mean astonishing (bold, italics, whatever) sense of space. A spacial awareness that I imagine astronauts get when they space walk, as they first step out into the void. But much more massive. I was everywhere and I was nowhere. I could see everything. Do you have any idea what I mean?

Then I dreamed about my niece. The youngest member of my immediate family. She was a baby again. I was on the sofa at my mum's old house, just me and her and she was the most precious thing on the world, this tiny, vulnerable life and I held her so tightly wanting to keep the world spoiling from her. I woke crying. I'm crying now. I have to go.

What is going on?

phylos is...

2008-05-29T20:36:00.002+00:00

Hate, love and war
Force emotions to the fore
But not for me, of course
Of course
I keep mine hidden
Oh ...

I keep mine hidden
But it's so easy for you
Because you let yours flail
Into public view
Oh, oh ...

Yellow and green
A stumbling block
I'm a twenty-digit combination to unlock
With a past where to be 'touched'
Meant to be 'mental'

Ooh, I keep mine hidden
The lies are so easy for you
Because you let yours slide
Into public view
Oh

© Morrissey *heart*

Hubris

2008-03-12T18:59:00.000+00:00

Elliot Spitzer should have read about Croesus.

Have a look at this...

Honesty Road. Integrity Lane. Oooops.

Spitzer resigns post

Eliot Spitzer was today cast into the wilderness after he resigned from one of the top jobs in American politics, the governorship of the state of New York, in the wake of a prostitution scandal that destroyed his reputation as the scourge of organised crime and immorality.

Live by the (pork) sword, die by the (pork) sword.

Wrongedness

2008-03-10T20:58:00.002+00:00

I've got the f'king rage this evening. And I'm not even coming down off anything. I'm not.

I woke up this morning when my radio switched itself on and the first thing I heard was "due to the gales there are no Isle of Wight ferries running this morning." Hmm, I thought. Work don't know were I've been this weekend, they don't know I was in Reading & Thatcham. I could phone in and say I'd been to see my mum and was stuck. But, but, I did the decent thing.

I was up the shop earlier and I saw something which encapsulates all I believe is wrong with the world. Some ex Big Brotyher no-mark, Chantelle is on the cover of a tabloid magazine looking pleased as punch and stating how she got new bOObs to 'get a new man'. Clearly she's a deep woman, she doesn't want to rely on those ethereal things like her charm, personality and wit to get a chap, just a great big pair of JUGS. Now, I have nothing against jugs, in fact I'm a huge fan, but surely a relationship should be build upon a more solid foundation? And there's the rub (fnarr fnarr). Style is winning out over substance. We see it in our politicians, our 'celebs', work even where the people whose faces fit get noticed, not those can actually do a good job. It sucks. Sucks arse. The tits are winning. Viva les ( o Y o ).

But the day has been saved. Giz has booked this years holiday. On 19 June (my birthday) the Reykjavik crew hit Helsinki. Finland, you have no idea what's coming. Bring it on.

Back to the wine.

As you were.

Feisty

2008-03-05T19:19:00.003+00:00

I'm in a really fucking strange mood tonight. The weirdest. Can't put my finger on it. Does anyone fancy a pint?

What are you all doing a week on Saturday? This. This is what you're doing.

Join the global protests - demonstrate 15 March

Jeeeeebus. This is my first post of 2008? I should say some really deep shit and amaze y'all but I just wanna swear and shout.

Go watch Mythbusters. There's nothing to see here.

Is Officer Bar-Brady your fave South Park character? Mine's Cartman. Obviously. If I'd got Billie six months after I did she'd be called Eric. Which wouldn't work so well as Billie, what with her being a girl. An shit.

I'm amazed that Cartman is yet to stand as a contender for the US presidential elections. He's more credible than McCain, cooler than Obama and got a smaller ass than Hillary. And the fucking ADL would fucking shit themselves.

Quitting smoking sucks balls.

As you were.

Quitting ciggys means quitting weed (for a bit anyway) and that is what reeeely sucks. I write more though so...

blush

2007-10-07T02:41:00.000+00:00

It's not really right is it? We limped passed the USA, before, well let's forget the next game. Then we found a bit of form and finally started to roar.

Now we're in the semis.

Only 2 things an Englishman likes more than beating the Aussies. That's beating the French and beating the Scottish. England v Scotland final anyone?

Bricks & mortar

2007-10-05T12:23:00.000+00:00

No surprises here

Renting now cheaper than buying

The cost of renting a house in England and Wales is cheaper than the cost of buying it with a mortgage, say market analysts Hometrack. Private rents in 2006 were two-thirds the cost of a 100% mortgage on a two- or three-bedroom house, for a young household on average incomes.

For many years, renting a home was thought to be just as expensive as buying one. But that position has been changed by the rapid rise in house prices.

Home ownership is the biggest and most expensive myth of capitalism. Biggest, because, well everyone knows the lines don't they. You have to "get your foot on the property ladder" because "renting is dead money". Expensive because it's a debt you'll spend the rest of your working life repaying as you get sucked into the pathetic, thoughtless cycle of moving up in order to show the world how well you're doing. Baaaa.

I had my ranting head on at work a few months ago and over lunch I, hopefully convinced one of my younger colleagues of the error of this train of thought. She'd obviously been listening to her parents (she'll need to grow out of that sharpish) who'd rolled out all the clichés and she was beating herself up for being 28 and still without either foot on the ladder.

"So" I started, "rent is dead money is it. How much did your lunch cost?"

"About £3"

"Dead money"

"What?!?!"

As a Marxist, one gets used to the look which invariably accompanies that 'What?!?!' It's a mix of incredulity and pity - how can I be so stupid as to question the wisdom on which society thrives, how sad it is that I just don't get it. Poor little red.

"It's dead money. Six hours from now you'll be sat on the pot dropping your lunch out into the bowl. What a waste of money."

"But it's nourished me, kept me alive."

"And in return for my rent money I get place that nourishes me. It's warm, has hot water, room for my books, space for my cats to run about. If the heating busts I ring the landlord and it gets fixed. If I decide to move on (most unlikely for some time) I give notice and find another place. There's no stamp duty, no legal fees, no chains. It's easy! All for £350 a month. Why would I want to pay £900+ a month on a mortgage and not have enough money for anything else like the fine wines which the world has to offer?"

"Hmmm, I suppose."

That hmmm is another thing you get used to as a Marxist. It means 'what you say makes great sense and is more than likely true, but it just doesn't compute with the lifetime of lies I have absorbed. Better to ignore the truth than to rock the boat.'

And there's the rub. Home ownership is more about social control than anything else. If you're tied to a house you can barely afford, you're tied to you job, which you probably hate. So you knuckle down and climb the corporate ladder not because you want to but because you have to. You have to pay your mortgage. And with each pay-rise you pay more in taxes. As you aspire to bigger house, following the rest of the flock (you don't want to be the only person at your grade living in a 3 bedroomed house do you? Only 3?), you pay more taxes, contributing more of your money to the liars, warmongers and crooks who run the country. They depend on you toeing the line. Their morally bankrupt society relies on you getting a pay rise each year, contributing more taxation, staying put, not asking questions. Doing anything else would rock the boat, mark you out as a subversive. A subversive for thinking for yourself. What is to be done?

Future first

2007-10-04T17:16:00.000+00:00

You know what, there's a good part of me that welcomes the return of Tomorrow's World onto the BBC, albeit in a minor way. It has fond memories for me as a bright eyed, wet-behind-the-ears schoolboy wondering what his future would behold. Thursdays were always kinda special anyway. Last evening before Friday, shepherd's pie for tea, Top of the Pops, Tomo's World, Kenny Everett and bed. Wasn't it simple then? But the more I think about it, the more I feel I should be withholding my license fee in protest at the false dreams sold me by Raymond Baxter, Judith Hann, Michael Rodd et al.

The problem with technology shows is that they always glamorise what they believe will happen. So we were told that computers would take away the vast majority of the tedious, mundane crap which makes up the majority of our working days, freeing us to be creative, playful, to enjoy the beauty around us. We were told that we would only need to go to work for 90 minutes or so each week to make sure the computers were doing everything well. We were told that we would go to work in hover cars. These would be miniature flying saucers powered by water and fitted with all sorts of devices that would end accidents and congestion. Oh the joy. In 1974 the biggest problem envisaged for the future was 'what on earth would we do with all our leisure time?'

But it hasn't happened has it? The opposite has. We're now tied to our sodding computers like slaves tied to the oars of a Greek Trireme. One company's computer will not speak to another's, so data has to be emailed, printed out onto paper and manually re-entered. Then checked. Then corrected. It's bollocks. A computer could do it. Oh, hang on...

So Tomorrow's World you can go to hell. With Tops of the Pops. And Fearne Cotton hopefully.

Iceland

2007-07-26T17:29:00.000+00:00

Hello all. Are we well?

I'll be brief as am busy, busy, but I went to Iceland a few weeks ago. It's great, I do not have enough suitable adjectives to describe how wonderful Reykjavik is.

Some pictures here.

Idiot

2007-06-19T13:51:00.000+00:00

Words quite simply fucking fail me...

ID cards 'to be UK institution'

The identity card scheme will become a "great British institution" on a par with the railways in the 19th Century, Home Office minister Liam Byrne says.

He said it was "time to get on with it" and predicted that the National Identity Scheme "will soon become part of the fabric of British life".

Well here's what I predict. Should ID Cards ever be introduced and I really doubt they will, rather than them becoming part of the fabric of our national life, the massive, co-ordinated campaign of civil disobedience will instead enter our folk-lore, like the Luddites, the Diggers and the Tolpuddle Martyrs. Prisons will fill with campaigners, doors will be slammed in the faces of officials, politician after politician will be scorned and humiliated. The scheme will be scrapped. Billions will have been spent. Nothing will be achieved. No one will be held accountable. This is, I think is far more likely than Liam Byrne's myopic vision of future conformity. Brace yourselves.

A bad day for fascism

2007-05-23T18:37:00.000+00:00

Swings & roundabouts innit?

Judges fail to back new ministry

Senior judges have refused to back government plans to set up the new Ministry of Justice, it has emerged.
The Lord Chief Justice, Lord Phillips, told MPs it had proved impossible to reach a deal with ministers.

I think a less Orwellian title would have helped eh? I'm not sure what they mean by 'plans to set up a Ministry of Justice' though. They already have a fucking website, even if it is packed only with plastic, identikit Labour ministers, rather than anyone who knows a shit or indeed gives a shit about 'justice'.

This one makes me so happy...

Chagos families win legal battle

Families expelled from the Chagos Islands by the British have won their legal battle for the right to return home at the Court of Appeal.
Some 2,000 residents were forced out when the British colony in the Indian Ocean was leased to the US in the 1960s to build an airbase at Diego Garcia.
The government took the case to the Court of Appeal after two earlier rulings declared the actions unlawful. It has a month to decide whether to appeal to the House of Lords.

The idea of royal prerogative dates back centuries and would allow, in times of crisis, the monarch to act without parliament, in say declaring war on France. Or Spain. Or Germany. Proud Europeans that we are. Now we have a constitutional monarchy, Mr Bliar wanted to use prerogative in a monarchical way to avoid parliamentary scrutiny of this American driven policy to deny people the right to return to their homes. Our (currently) independent judiciary said "No Mr B, you are wrong, you are sooooo wrong'. Anyone getting an idea as to why TB wants a Ministry for Justice, run by the government as opposed to independent, free minds? Answers on a postcard.

And while we're talking about 'merica, seen this? Made me hoot with laughter.

Bush asks UN for help in Iraq

The Bush administration suffered a humiliating diplomatic climbdown over Iraq yesterday as it presented a draft resolution to the UN, asking for military and financial help to rescue it from the ballooning human, financial and political costs of the occupation.

The balls! The very UN that the US ignored in 2003, the same UN who have said that the war in Iraq is illegal is now being asked to help finance the very same illegal, immoral war. If I was in charge of the UN my answer would involve much dropping of trouserage. And a big fat fucking NO.

Back to the Peoples' Republic of Bliar...

Rules on sham marriage 'unlawful'
Controversial immigration rules aimed at stopping sham marriages are unlawful, says the Court of Appeal.
Judges said the law breached the fundamental rights of immigrants subjected to the vetting.

Again, see the value of an independent judiciary in standing up for the rights of those who need help the most? We're a big country and we should welcome the fact that people want to come here and contribute to our society, both economically and socially. The myth that they all come here to sponge off our welfare state is just that. A myth. It's driven by the likes of the Daily Fucking Mail and the Daily Cunting Express (to give them their full titles), run by those narrow minded, little Englander bastards I hate. The sort of ignorant twats who retire to Spain or Portugal and utterly fail to see either the irony or the hypocrisy in spending the rest of their empty lifes complaining that "You just can't get a decent pint" while thoroughly pissing off 'the natives' because "none of them speak English". Stains. Die.

Birthday Billie

2007-05-23T17:32:00.001+00:00

Like the queen, my fat cat Billie has two birthdays. I'm not really sure when her 'proper' birthday is, but nine years ago today, on a Saturday morning, Claire went off in our old Nissan while I cleaned up, hoovered and smoked my first phat one of the day. She returned an hour later with a very nervous, remarkably slim (considering her current girth), but very lovely Billie Bobbins. And there has only, really been one female in my life since.

Billie was 9 months old and although she hadn't been cruelly treated, she had spent a large part of those 9 months alone and she was a bit of a nervous wreck. She was ballsy though, god was she ballsy, she had occupied Iggy's bed inside an hour and eaten most of the food we'd put down for the pair of them inside two. It was about a month before she would sit on my lap and probably six months before she'd comfortably sleep there or pad, but she became my little buddy, my shadow.

Happy birthday baby.

Bias

2007-05-21T21:13:00.000+00:00

Have a look at this headline...

Israeli dies in Gaza rocket raid

Paragraph one backs up the horror

An Israeli woman has died of her wounds shortly after a rocket fired from the Gaza Strip hit her car in the border town of Sderot, medics say.

But hang on, what about paragraph 3?

Israeli air strikes have killed more than 30 people in the past week, several of them civilians.

Is this the new world order? 30 Palestinians = 1 Zionist? Draw your own conclusions.

Love you BBC.

xx

Good day for fascism Mr Bliar

2007-05-21T17:21:00.000+00:00

It is though, isn't it.

Pilotless police drone takes off

The UK's first police remote control helicopter has taken off.
Merseyside police are using the "spy drone", fitted with CCTV cameras, mainly for tackling anti-social behaviour and public disorder.
Discrimination fear over ID cards
The decision to bring in ID cards for foreigners before bringing them in for Britons may lead to "de-facto racial profiling", MPs and peers have warned.
The Joint Committee on Human Rights says black and other ethnic minorities may "disproportionately" be asked to prove their UK immigration status.
Staff asked to 'snoop' for police

Council staff, charity workers and doctors could be required by law to tip off police about anyone they believe could commit a violent crime.
The Home Office proposals, leaked to the Times newspaper, insist public bodies have "valuable information" that could identify potential offenders.
Possible warning signs could include heavy drinking, mental health problems or a violent family background.
Hain rejects Hodge's housing call
Northern Ireland Secretary Peter Hain has said housing policy must not be made "on the hoof" after a minister said UK citizens should have priority.
Industry minister Margaret Hodge said allocation should involve residence and national insurance payment details.
But Mr Hain said housing should be "based on need, like the NHS".

Imagine my surprise when Peter Hain turns out to be a moderate voice that I can agree with. Fucking stooge.

So, which of these stories makes one the angriest? Comments please. Personally, being a state certified, pill downing, served my time on a psychiatric ward nutter, it is the snooping story that chills me. I'm really only a danger to myself, I am, but the mere fact that there is the slightest possibility that my liking for a drink combined with my medical history could mark me out as some sort of 'threat to society' makes my blood run cold. This government, this despotic, Arab killing, human rights violating government has had it in for the mentally ill since the day after it was elected but it was only carrying on the policies of the Thatcherite regime that preceded it. Funding for psychiatric care has been decimated over the last 20 years to the point where is very little in-care for those most in need of it. Society is failing those whose lives are made almost intolerable by their condition. A person with heart disease is given treatment and sympathy. A person with diabetes is given treatment and sympathy. When I inevitably develop cirrhosis and/or lung cancer I'd like some treatment and a tiny bit of sympathy if, for nothing else then for the fact that my habit keeps income tax down below 25%. So why, if I have another breakdown should I be treated with hostility and suspicion? Fuck you.