Science has a lot to say about exercise. It can tell us what works and what doesn’t, why it is that way, and how our bodies work in general. The further science goes, the better our workouts become. Unfortunately for most of us we know more about one than the other, when we should be trying to understand both.

It’s not only the science of how our body works that can help us workout more effectively. You can also turn to the scientific method as a way to boost your training. The way that scientists study things, has been scrutinized over and over, so that people don’t fall into common traps, and find the best paths to success free from human biases and opinions. Breaking Muscle notes how we can take advantage of the five-step process:

Step 3: Data Collection and Analysis

In some ways this is the easiest part of the process. In most cases all you need is a training journal, particularly if you’re testing something you can quantify like adding pounds to a certain lift or taking time off of a specific task. Track everything that may have an effect: your sleep, your nutrition, your recovery methods, sets, reps, times, when you worked out, etc. It may even be useful to keep track of some subjective measures, like your mood and how you were feeling overall. The more data you have, the more precise picture you’ll be able to paint and analyze later on.

From testing to analysis, conclusions and hypotheses, the scientific method has a lot to teach us about an effective program. Head over to Breaking Muscle to check out the other tips for merging science and your workout.

4 Reasons You’ve Never Had A Girlfriend

Let us assume you’re a healthy, good-looking, financially stable guy. You are young, fit, and up for a laugh and a great time with any attractive woman you meet. However, with all of your worldly charm and valuable attributes you have still never had a girlfriend.

This fact may be routinely pointed out to you by friends and family—some in the spirit of critique, others in the mode of approval. But as you get older, as you make the long march towards your mid-and-late twenties, you will notice the people around you shacking up with significant others. This may lead you to consider why it is that you have never met anyone with whom to make this move.

The popular cliché of the swinging bachelor does not accurately portray the deeper instincts and attitudes that keep most men from forming relationships. Yes, some men do prefer to live that part of their life as a succession of one night stands and booty calls. You, however, may not consider yourself an exact fit for that category, and you may be curious as to why you cannot manage anything beyond brief hook-ups.

Here are 4 reasons you’ve never had a girlfriend:

1. You work in an all-male environment

You should not underestimate the importance of the environment in which you work. Men who are in the military, or who work in police, fire-and-rescue, and other male-dominated professions will understand what I mean by this. Although few jobs these days are monopolized completely by men, the ones in which there are few women tend to have an extremely male atmosphere. It is hard to meet a woman and carry on a relationship with a co-worker in such places because of the level of gossip and competition that goes on in them. Such jobs also consume a lot of your time, and so the people you work with end up constituting your social circle. It puts you in a situation whereby it’s much easier to have a fling with someone you met at a club or bar rather than make the extra effort to meet someone worth having a monogamous relationship with.

2. You get bored easily

I am a big believer in boredom. I believe it is the cause for many un-started and un-fulfilling relationships. It may be the case that you enjoy the thrill of the chase, but once you’ve captured your prey you’re ready to move on. This doesn’t make you a bad person. It is just something that comes naturally—as it does to so many other men. You may like variety, change, and the pleasure of constant stimulation in your life. These can be hard to come by after you’ve settled down with just one girl. You should either learn to live with this or make up your mind that the gains of a relationship are worth the sacrifices it will include.

3. You value your independence above all things

You should seriously consider your value system, and where your personal independence falls within it. You may enjoy the freedom to do as you like. Having a girlfriend will put some limits on your range of action. The older you get the harder it will become to give up your independence. It is not just about the freedom to date; it is about your ability to organize your life the way you want it, without input or interference from anyone else.

4. You don’t care for the kind of complication it brings

Human relationships are in general quite complex. Sharing the greater part of your life with someone else is an extraordinarily complicated undertaking. You may not be the kind of person who goes in for that sort of thing. That is perfectly fine. One of the aims of the liberation movements of the past half century was to ensure that people are able to live according to how their interests, instincts, and conscience dictate. You can’t force yourself to enter and maintain a relationship. Nor should you ever feel pressured to do so. The desire to keep your life pleasant, enjoyable, and simple is just as valid as what is wanted by those who choose a different path.

So where to take a girl on a first date? Where are some of the best places to go that give you the highest likelihood of giving her a wonderful night? The answers are not simple, and they are not the same for every woman. The first thing you should do when trying to come up with an answer to this question is figure out the places she really likes to go. This can mean both what kind of food she likes and dislikes (don’t take her to an Indian restaurant if she hates Indian food!), and the kind of places in general she likes or dislikes; if she mentions disliking dining out or not liking movies, for example, your dates should steer clear of those areas.

Once you have formed a general idea of what she does and does not like, you can start to pick the best location for a date. In doing so, you should try and find a happy medium between a place that makes it look like you don’t care that much about the date and did not put much effort into choosing it, and a place that makes it look like you tried so hard that you might be compensating for deficiencies in your own personality by setting up such an extravagant date.

To put it simply, you should find a place that is elegant enough, but not overtly flashy and expensive. Make it look like you certainly care about her enough to put effort into choosing the date place, but also that you don’t feel the need to take her somewhere so grand that it takes away from her ability to get to know you. This means that hanging out at your place and ordering pizza is obviously not enough, but going on a helicopter tour of the city or renting out a yacht for the evening – unless you truly are extremely wealthy – may be a bit much. When it comes to dinner places, pick something between an Applebees and an extremely expensive French restaurant, etc.

Always remember, too, that the question of where to take a girl on a first date matters less than that of how to act on a date. You can take a girl to the perfect location, but if you fail to attract her it will not matter (and conversely if you take her somewhere unfortunate, you can make up for it by being the most charming, attractive guy possible.) Figuring out where to take her is important, but it will not make or break your evening.

The post Where To Take A Girl On A First Date appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

Five proven ideas that have made entrepreneurs millions

At least 30,000 people who are self-employed have made a million dollars.  They had to get their inspiration from somewhere.  Some of the entrepreneurs were experiencing a problem and developed what turned out to be a million dollar solution to their problem which they were able to product and scale.  Uber, Seamless, Postmates all seem to be a solution for a problem from I need a car to get me home to I need some food delivered.

See how to conceive a product based on a problem plus 4 other million dollar ideas.

According to the same survey, there were over 200,000 entrepreneurs with sales between $500,000 and $999,999, and over 400,000 entrepreneurs who were raking in $250,000 to $499,999 a year.

Whatever your modus operandi, simple passion isn’t enough to get you going. You need to work at it, day after day, and constantly improve and progress.

Adding up the numbers that’s 650,000 plus people who are making more than $250K a year.   The internet is here to help you become rich that’s why one of the ideas is leveraging technology that you might be using to help start or run your business.  If you get good a leveraging technology and increase your sales you can then write an ebook to teach others how to do it.  After all that work you will have created two income streams!

Learn the five ways to become a wealthy solopreneur.

When I was kid, I used to love going to Disneyland and drive the “racecourse”

Tons of fun doing tight turns, spinning the steering wheel and flooring it.

Then My Sister Ruined The
Whole Fucking Thing

Now pay attention, because there is a CRUCIAL lesson here.

She pointed out that the cars were running on tracks; that even though I THOUGHT I was in control at the wheel, the cars where going to go where they were “programmed” to go and the wheel was doing NOTHING.

And, it went in circles.

So let me ask you:

Are you REALLY charting your own course – driving where you want – or are you stuck on tracks, leading you to the same destination, over and over?

Can you even SEE the tracks that keep you repeating the same old limiting behaviors or are they so customary you don’t even know they are there.

At my Magick and Remote Influence event, we will be teaching you to clearly see if you are driving, or if you are stuck-and how to powerfully become unstuck in every area of your life.

Find out more by visiting our webpage at the link above.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. Keep reading these messages because over the next few days I’ll be posting some eye-opening ideas that will get your life popping.

In the meantime, go here.

Just do it.

All we ever hear about is how confidence is the key to attraction.

That’s absolutely true, but exactly, what does confidence look like and more importantly, what should confidence from a man feel like for a woman?

It has to feel sexual. Women need to get a sexual vibe from you.

First, it’s important to note that while making more money, working out like crazy and just being naturally better looking, while attraction factors, truly pale in comparison to being sexually confident.

Is sexual confidence being sure of your abilities in the bedroom? Sure, to some degree. You definitely want to be able to deliver on that front, and know that you can do so.

But you can’t just walk up to a girl and say, “hi, I’m great at sex.”

She needs to be able to tell that you are, without you saying so.

1. Stop seeking validation.

Neediness and desperation, these are your enemies, and they can creep up in unexpected ways. Even bragging or showing off can be seeking validation, and women generally assume that any guy who is really trying to get some, isn’t getting any.

2. Focus on being fun.

Fun personalities attract because people feel elevated to be around you. Any girl you can make smile feels a sense of immediate attraction for you, because positive emotions release oxytocin in her brain. If you’re really just concentrated on having a good time, it’s also the opposite of the guy clamoring for validation.

3. Be fearless.

Anxiety is a killer, and so is your fear to approach, to escalate and to use R-rated language or spur the conversation into a sexual realm. Confidence is always the antithesis of fear, so sometimes the best attraction tactic of all is to just go for it.

The 10 Super Sex Foods For Increasing Sex Drive and Performance

1. Peaches

Peaches are very high in Vitamin C, especially the frozen ones. Taking in at least 200 milligrams of Vitamin C a day can increase your sperm count and sexual sensitivity.

So…play it safe if you’re single! And well…throw a few slices of peaches in a smoothie for breakfast with your woman if you feel like knockin’ her up! Hehe…kidding.

2. Watermelon

This juicy fruit has a high concentration of lycopene and citrulline, which improves blood flow to erectile tissue and relaxes blood vessels in a similar way that the ‘V’ pill does to treat guys who can’t get hard.  It’s the sweetest way to rev up your sex drive!

3. Oysters

Not only do oysters look like vaginas, but they’re also the ULTIMATE aphrodisiac and have a huge connection to sexual function.

Basically, oysters are pretty much the natural Viagra of our generation and hold more zinc than any other food.

It enhances libido by helping with testosterone production and higher levels of hormones, which increases your sexual desire. So…wine and dine your woman tonight with a slimy seafood delicacy.

4. Avocados

The best thing about avocados is that the Aztecs used to refer to them as testicles because of their physical shape!

But the REAL reason they’re on the list is because they are an aphrodisiac rich in unsaturated fats making them good for the heart.  And anything good for the heart keeps the blood flowing in ALL the right places.

5. Red Wine

Antioxidants and alcohol in the wine kick-start the formation of nitric oxide in your blood, which helps you relax and increases blood flow to the genitals.

Not to mention it warms the chest and can loosen up your girl so that she is REALLY in the mood for a good pounding! BUT, moderation is key…the more alcohol you drink can really screw up your sex performance and no one likes a messy lover.

6. Spinach

This green has a potent source of magnesium that helps dilate blood vessels.  It brings blood flow to your “manly parts” AND creates stronger sexual arousal. It also includes an ingredient called folate, a source of Vitamin B and…the BEST sex nutrient you can consume.

Now spinach may not be the sexiest food to bring into the bedroom, but when you cook for your woman, throw it into a salad for a healthier mix.

7. Strawberries

Red is sexy, and I’m not just talking about the color of your girl’s tight little dress. It’s a sexy food high in Vitamin B and C, two amazing libido boosters. And the best thing about strawberries is that you can add some melted chocolate on top for a sweet dessert and turn them into a sensual bedroom treat.

8. Eggs

Rich in Vitamins B6 and B5, eggs are a great source of protein, helps balance out your hormone levels, and eases stress…all which are important for a healthy sex drive.

Whether you prefer your eggs scrambled, or over easy like me, include them in your diet the morning before a big date!

9. Dark Chocolate

Eating something gooey is incredible sensual and I’m not just talking about a soaking wet pussy. I mean melted dark chocolate!

Dark chocolate contains a compound called phenylethlamine that releases the same endorphins triggered in sex, and it increases physical attraction.

I bet you didn’t know that eating chocolate causes a more intense and longer high than a hot make out session…so eat up!

10. Figs

Figs are one of my favorite foods on the list. Not only do they too, resemble women’s sexual organs, but they are also a HUGE fertility booster and excellent aphrodisiac packed with a bunch of fiber…all which are important for the heart and overall health.

If you feel like your sex drive is at an all-time low these days, the situation may be cured with ingredients you might already have in your very own kitchen. So don’t be discouraged. Instead, try these 10 natural, and effective libido boosters to change your sex life forever!

XOXO

Shawna

A good Magick practice is good for is taking areas of the personality that have been lacking and filling them in a fun way.

There’s room in this picture for you.

Let’s say, up until now it has been the case that you weren’t a very bold or adventurous person.

Using Magick ritual, you can begin to program in that side of the personality so it shows up.

Just in terms of pure physiology, we know this is possible.

When people come to me and say, “I’m blocked,” my standard question for them is, “How many brain cells do you have?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

By the way, how many brain cells do you think a person has?

Three trillion?

Actual answer: The average human brain has about 100 billion neurons (or nerve cells) and many more neuroglia (or glial cells) which serve to support and protect the neurons. (Source: Human-Memory.net)

So, if there are all these brain cells, how many possible combinations are there?

Unless you can tell me you’ve tried every possible combination of pathways, you can’t tell me you’re blocked.

You can tell me that you’ve used a few pathways over and over again to such an extent that they formed a group that, up until now, you’ve not be able to get out of.

Chinese Finger Traps Are More
Than Just MFM Threesomes

Source: Wikipedia

In case you don’t know what a Chinese Finger Trap is:

You put your fingers in and the more you struggle to pull them out, the tighter it gets. You’ve got to put your fingers in the right way and not struggle.

That’s why it’s an analogy both for a struggle that gets worse, and that thing they kept talking about in “Chasing Amy” (which the guy kept struggling with where it got worse and worse, until it reduced him to a sad, blubbering AFC who lost the girl, if you know the story).

Don’t let this be YOUR story.

In a sense, Magick is a way of taking that struggle and relaxing it so the trap falls away.

Once you’ve done that, it’s an opportunity to design in what you want.

And as I’m fond of saying: that sure beats a poke in the eye.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. “Magick” is an incredible way of unbinding and “de-robotizing” yourself so you can become truly free to use the full creative potential of your mind on all levels.

Click here, and you will be set free >>>

These ads, and the exercises, pills, etc. that they put forth, are all bullshit. You cannot simply enlarge penis size – growing your sexual organ would be no different from, say, a pill that would suddenly increase the size of your ears, hands, eyes, etc. There are, however, ways to work with whatever size you already have and make it seem much bigger than it really is; and while you might not actually enlarge penis size you can make it seem like you did.

The first thing to keep in mind is that not all erections are created equal. Many times you might be hard enough, but far from as hard – and, by extension, as big – as you could potentially be. This is something that you can try and avoid. Some tips to keep this from happening are to avoid drinking alcohol excessively before you have sex, try not to be too tired, and try to eat well (a healthier diet really can make a difference in your sexual performance.) It also helps tremendously to be extremely attracted to the girl you are with, so it goes without saying to try not to settle too much in your choice of partner.

The second thing to keep in mind if you want to seemingly enlarge your penis size is that, while size does matter somewhat, it is also true that no matter how big it is, what is most important is how you use it. It is extremely important, initially, to make sure you are doing everything you can to ensure that she is turned on and ready for you. Make her feel appreciated, make her feel special, make her feel comfortable, and most importantly, do not neglect foreplay.

When she is turned on and ready, the next thing to think about is trying to get it into her as deeply as possible. This can be done by making sure you are inserting yourself all the way in, but also can be done by manipulating the angle at which you enter her through different positions. Try them out with a partner that you are comfortable with in order to get a better handle of which ones work best (one position that works really well for getting deep inside her is to lift one or both of her legs up on top of your shoulder as you are on top of her.) This will ensure that you make the most of what you have.

The final thing to keep in mind is that whatever you have, you are using it well. Communicate with your partner, gain experiences, even seek help from people you know or other sources of information, and learn how to be an oustanding physical lover. If you do this, there will be no need to enlarge penis size at all to keep a woman fully satisfied.

The post How To Enlarge Your Penis appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

Putting stock market crashes into perspective and how to navigate the storm

The sky is falling an d it’s the end of the world because the market is down 14% in the last week!  This is how the media portrays what has been going on in the stock markets.  However, it is most certainly not the end of the world. The S&P 500 has declined by more than 3% in one day 100 times since the 1950s.  These declines are usually followed by a rebound as well.  The stock market is a volatile place and while we have enjoyed a six year bull market sometimes the market needs to correct.  Especially when Facebook is valued the same as Pepsi and Coke combined.

Learn why you should not worry about a stock market crash.

When you look back through history, stock market crashes of 33% or more, peak-to-trough, aren’t terribly unique.  When the Dow Jones Industrial Average hit a high of 18,351.40, you should have mentally thought, “Alright, anything between here and a drop down to 12,111.92 is business as usual; nothing special and, in fact, might statistically happen”.  If you had $500,000 in your combined retirement accounts, that would mean a paper loss in quoted value of $170,000, bringing you down to $330,000.  Given your asset allocation is right and you aren’t speculating heavily in individual securities, this shouldn’t elicit more than a rough grunt of acknowledgement.  It’s simply not worth noting once you’ve been around the block any more than a rational person freaks out when a thunderstorm showers the Earth with water or an eclipse covers the sun.  That’s life.

The tips for preserving your wealth during a crash are having a balanced portfolio of cash and bonds vs equities and reinvesting your dividends.  If you invest $100 per month in a basket of equities sometimes you will buy them for a high price and sometimes you get them for a low price.  Overall though your cost basis should be lower than the current market value of your stock using this method. $100 when a stock is $50 per share will get you two shares then say it’s a year later and the value is $25 per share now you pick up 4 shares.  At the end of the day on average the S&P 500 earns 8% per year. Just because the market is going down does not mean it is the end of the world.

See the tips to navigate a falling stock market and why you shouldn’t worry.

Taking a girl on a dinner date can be romantic of course which might get her in the mood for some “dessert”, but research is also pointing to another reason why feeding your girl might get you laid. Turns out when girls have eaten and aren’t starving, they are more likely to respond to sexual stimuli. The study was done by scientists at the University of Drexel, using MRI imaging.

To pull of the study, the scientists researched a variety of women, some of whom had dieted in the past and some of whom hadn’t. They used the MRI imaging to look at the rewards centers in the ladies brains while they showed them photos of “romantic pictures”. The whole group of women was studied when they were both in a normally fed state and when they were fasting.

What the research showed was that whether or not the women had been dieters before the study began, they all showed greater brain action in the rewards centers when they had eaten in comparison to when they were very hungry. This is important to note, because when it comes to other sorts of stimuli such as drugs or money, people tend to show more sensitivity to them when they’re hungry. Sex however, seems to be on a playing field of its own.

The study author Alice Ely, PhD explained this effect in a release on the experiment.

“In this case, they were more responsive when fed. This data suggests that eating may prime or sensitize young women to rewards beyond food. It also supports a shared neurocircuitry for food and sex.”

Good to know. That means the next time you’re hoping to get some you might want to go for a meal date as opposed to just getting drinks. If you’re going out with a new girl, be sure to ask her if she has a favorite type of food or preferred genre for dinner. She might have particular taste or diet needs and instead of asking about any potential allergies or something it’s best just to ask if she has a preference. If she does, she will certainly let you know about it.

Try to choose a restaurant that has an atmosphere that you’re comfortable in. Some restaurants try to keep their clientele moving through quickly, and anything too sterile will tip you off about that. If you’re planning on staying to talk for a while you should avoid any restaurant that feels cold. That being said, sometimes the more festive varieties of restaurants are the cheaper ones, so find somewhere in between that shows that you’re making an invested effort but also want her to feel comfortable.

To stay up your game, be a gentleman without putting on a show. If she doesn’t like her meal offer to switch plates or grab the waiter so she order something else. If she offers to split the bill at the end of the night turn her down, especially if you initiated the date in the first place. Make sure she’s happy, and she’ll be more likely to keep the night going.

Whew! Superhuman Social Skills is Officially available!

I'd like to hype up this book and tell you how proud I am of it, and how much early readers have liked it, but instead I'll do you one better. If you're reading this on Tuesday September 29th, the book is available for free! Please download it and read it and love it.

Of the books I've written, I think this may be the one with the highest potential to impact lives. I hear all the time about how my other books have changed people's lives, so I'm especially excited to hear about the results from this one. I know firsthand just how important and wonderful it is to have good friends and to be able to get along with people effortlessly, and I'm excited for other people who are working on those things to get there a little quicker.

The book is written in short blog-like chapters, and it covers everything from starting conversations, being comfortable in social situations, making friends, being a good friend, and building your friend group. It's all stuff I do, and a lot of it has never been written about before, as far as I can tell.

If you aren't totally satisfied with your social life, I'm very confident you'll find something useful in the book. One of the common themes in reviews of my books are that they are extremely practical and actionable, and have no fluff or filler. I want you to be able to read my book in a weekend and immediately start getting results.

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So head over to Amazon and get your free copy. It will be up to $4.99 tomorrow, so definitely grab it now as it will never be free again.

If you like the book, please write a good review. Reviews, especially the first 100 or so, have a HUGE impact on sales. Trust me-- I'd much rather have a five-star review than the five bucks you'd pay for the book. So if you get the book free, love it, and write about it, we all win.

Last, the book will be coming out on audio through Audible, iTunes, and Amazon! Superhuman By Habit just came out on those channels, but it currently has the wrong file for the first chapter. That will be fixed this week. If you buy it, just listen to the sample audio-- it's actually the first chapter.

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The paperback version is also released today. It's listed at $12.99, but Amazon has it (for me at least) at $7.99. I have no control over these price changes and it's unusual for Amazon to drop the price so low. Perfect for launch day!

For fun, I'm going to do special things if you buy a bunch of books. If you want to buy a lot to give away or have a group read, here are some extra incentives:

Buy 5 books and I'll send you another signed one.

Buy 10 books and I'll help you tighten up one of your stories by email. You send me a <1000 word story and I'll write you back with some specific advice on how to tell the story better.

Buy 20 books and we'll do a 45 minute coaching call on anything you want-- social skills, habits, travel, or just chatting.

Buy 50 books and we'll have tea together. You have to get yourself to SF, Vegas, NY, Budapest, or Tokyo while I'm in that place and the tea is on me. We'll spend an hour or so together, working on whatever's important to you, or just hanging out.

I'll do one crazy one, too-- buy 500 books and you get to come to the island for an overnight trip. I'll book you a flight from anywhere in the US/Canada to meet me in Halifax, and I'll bring you to the island where we'll stay for 1-2 nights.

To do any of these, just buy the books and email me the order confirmation as well as a picture of the books when they arrive!

###

My amazing friend Leo Babauta published an interview with me today about the book and storytelling. You can check it out here!

Please help me spread the word! Tweet / Facebook this post or the Amazon link and help me climb the Kindle charts!

>> Comment on this Post · Like this Post

Is it possible that relationships aren’t forming in-person as often because younger generations are lacking experience interacting with people in person, while the in-person interpersonal skills of older generations have suffered from atrophy as the advent of ever-present digital communication continues?

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers, he talking about the “10,000 hour rule,” which says that you can become an expert at anything if you spend at least 10,000 hours doing it. So if you play basketball, for instance, for an average of two to three hours per day for 10 years, you should be NBA-ready.

The average guy and girl in America, before widespread use of social media and online dating, probably accumulated 10,000 hours talking to members of the opposite sex in a social or romantic capacity fairly early in life. But now you don’t have to have a girl in front of you in order to communicate with her. It’s probably much easier to spend 10,000 hours talking to women digitally, since you can communicate with multiple women at once that way, than it is to reach that threshold talking to them in person.

So it’s not the dating apps themselves; it’s the fact that they’re keeping us from getting as much practice talking to each other in person as we used to.

But that theory doesn’t completely exonerate the rise of online dating from the potential obstacles it presents.

“Apps like Tinder and OkCupid give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there,” David Buss, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, told Vanity Fair in an article entitled Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse. “One dimension of this is the impact it has on men’s psychology. When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Marriages become unstable. Divorces increase. Men don’t have to commit, so they pursue a short-term mating strategy. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.”

This assessment ties into the paradox of choice, which says that the more options we have, the longer we tend to deliberate and the more we tend to second guess ourselves when we finally make a decision.

But it’s not as if divorce rates were lower before the rise of online dating; they were actually at all-time highs in America during the 1970s and 80s, and have steadily decreased ever since. Mobile dating is still relatively new, so it remains to be seen if it causes a spike in divorces.

Also, it’s kind of hard to quantify how “unstable” marriages have become because of dating apps compared to other factors that may lead to unstable marriages.

Ultimately, dating apps have been popular for too short a time to draw any profound conclusions about their pros and cons, but they’ve certainly changed the landscape.

So how can you make your girlfriend want you more? If you want to make your girlfriend want you more, the first thing to do is to try and figure out what you are not doing for her or giving her, or at least what you are not doing or giving enough. The easiest place to start is in the bedroom. Ask yourself if you are lasting long enough for her to experience sex for as long as she needs to feel satisfied (not to mention for as long as she needs to have an orgasm.)

Ask if you are thinking of her enough during intercourse – asking her what she wants, listening to her, letting her control things sometimes, etc – and ask if you are giving her enough foreplay or have been slacking off in that department. These can be some of the easiest deficiencies in your relationship to identify, and while they are not necessarily easy to fix, they are certainly possible to. The main thing to keep in mind if you want to know how to make your girlfriend want you more is to never neglect her wants and needs in the bedroom. Trust me, it will still be enjoyable for you (and might even be more if you are mutually satisfied with each other.)

If, however, you feel like your skills and intentions in the bedroom are as good as they can be, you have to search for other ways to make your girlfriend want you more. These have to do more with making her want to and feel up to having sex, even if she knows she will end up enjoying it. The first thing to ask yourself in this situation is whether or not you can do anything to make her life any less busy or stressful. Unlike men, women must have more energy and must be in the mood to have sex before they can work up the desire to really want it.

Sometimes women are simply too tired to get into the mood to have sex, and this often has to do with having a very busy life. Try and see if you can help her out around the house, or help her through anything in her life that might be stressful. Outside of this, just try as hard as possible to be a great boyfriend, and to make her feel loved, appreciated, and not taken for granted. If she realizes how great you are she will want to express those feelings in ways that are both romantic and not romantic.

The post How To Make Your Girlfriend Want You More appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

Ten reasons why you should get a business on the internet

Anything can be sold on the internet from self-help products to even buying a cow.  Automation has made starting a blog or creating an online presence even easier than just a few years ago.  WordPress can link with a lot of other platforms so building an online store is simpler and easier than ever.  The biggest advantage of being online means you have a second income stream if you work another job and there is very low cost and very little risk to investing in an online store.

Learn how to build a website for less than $10 a month and 9 other tips to start an online business.

Online businesses are generally lower risk than brick-and-mortar businesses because setting one up doesn’t have to cost a lot. Another reason online businesses are low risk is because of their adaptability. With the right investment in terms of online marketing, Search Engine Optimization (SEO), and so on, it is possible to turn a losing business into a profitable one in a relatively short amount of time.

There are also a myriad of unique ways to make money from your website aside from creating and selling your own products, such as affiliate marketing. This means new ways to create an income stream online.

Companies like Shipwire and Shopify even handle the logistics of ordering, shipping and handling for you if you have a physical product.  An online presence also means you can work anywhere in the world (as long as there is an internet connection) and the whole world becomes your market place.  Plus if you learn the ropes you can become an expert in online marketing which could lead to jobs managing social media for a company, marketing analytics, or even becoming a content expert.

See how to work from anywhere in the world and 9 other reasons you should be online.

Sometimes you need to escape a date before you have finished pre-dinner drinks.

Leaving a Date without Making a Scene

Sometimes a date turns out so terribly that there is no hope of turning it around. Perhaps she had too many glasses of wine with dinner and is a sloppy drunk. Maybe you have discovered that you are fundamentally incompatible with each other and do not want to waste more time on a dead-end date. These polite tricks to end a bad date are not as transparent as having a friend call you with a made-up emergency, but are just as effective.

Pretend you have an appointment to go to

A pretend appointment is a believable excuse to end a date early. However, it only works under a particular set of circumstances. You must have spent a reasonable amount of time with her already. Saying you have an appointment five minutes into an awkward date is an obvious lie. It needs to be a daytime date- nobody schedules appointments at night. Also, this trick will not work if you told her that you have nothing else planned for your day. This technique is fairly straightforward: look at your watch, politely tell her that it was nice to see her but you have an appointment to go to. Settle the cheque and leave immediately- before she can ask you when you are free to see her again!

Fake an illness

Disappear to the bathroom a few times. After returning for the last time, apologise and explain that you do not feel very well. There is no need to make up graphic details- she will assume that it is bad. This works especially well if you are relying on her to drive you home. It also provides an excuse for never contacting her, as she will assume that you are just embarrassed due to feeling unwell.

Ask if she thinks you are a good match

This move takes a lot of courage. Use it when you have discovered that you are incompatible with her, for example if you have very different values. Straight out ask her if she thinks that you could be the one for her. This puts the onus on her to admit that your date is going nowhere. While the question itself is somewhat rude, you can actually end the date in quite a friendly way. Thank her for meeting with you, and make your exit.

Tell her you have a friend that would be interested

Be upfront and tell her that you do not have a lot of common ground with her, and that she is not quite what you are looking for. However, soften the blow by telling her that you know someone who would be very interested in dating her. Ask her if it is okay to pass on her number to your friend. Now, it is nice if you have a friend in mind and actually intend on giving him her details, but it is not necessary. If none of your friends would go near her, she will just assume that your fictional friend is not interested when he fails to contact her.

If you are attracted to black women, what should you do? How are they different to approach than other girls? The main difference is that, just as they tend to be much stronger than many other types of women, they like and are attracted to very strong men. This means a commanding presence, extreme confidence (not the subtle, quiet confidence you radiate when you’re trying to attract a white girl), and a total lack of fear about knowing what to do both in and out of the bedroom with a black woman, and a lack of fear involving competition with other men (especially other black men.)

One of the first things to keep in mind when it comes to black women is while they might seem intimidating, the best approach is to go right up to them and tell them what you think about them. They don’t like to play games as much or be as subtle. Talking to them should generally involve a lot less bullshit. If you are attracted to black women and approach one, let her know obviously that you think she’s fine, tell it to her, and project absolute confidence that you could “handle” her. Black women tend to be attracted to a certain kind of “swag,” which takes on very masculine characteristics. There is no room for pussies in trying to get one.

Another thing to keep in mind if you are attracted to black women and want to get with one is never, ever let her think you’re are intimidated by black people (women or men.) This is seen not only as somewhat racist but, more importantly, as soft. Part of being with a black woman involves her knowing you could handle any competition, black or white. If you are not black (and chances are you are not if you are reading this), you will have to deal with black men going after your girl. Never let their race intimidate you, or you are lost as far as your goal is concerned.

Two final tips: First, it is always a good idea to, first of all, let a black woman know that you think “conventional white women”, or even light skinned black women (such as Beyonce) are not as attractive as a real “sista.” Second, it is always a great idea to talk to and flirt with the female friends of the black woman you are going after. If one of her friends likes you and would sleep with you, the one you are actually going after will get protective and you’ve essentially locked her up.

The post Are You Attracted To Black Women? appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

One of the most common scenarios my Speed Seduction® students present me with is this:

“I do fine if I am introduced to women or already know them. But walking up to a stranger, dead cold, in any situation, scares the bejezus out of me. I just can not do it. What can I do to resolve this?”

I’d say to get out the big eraser…but you don’t need it.

Over the years, I have seen this question or variations on it more times than I can count.

If you have felt shy, anxious or even afraid of women, especially beautiful ones, I can assure you that you are far from alone.

In fact, I would have to say that fear and shyness around women is so common among men, it’s close to being an epidemic.

Now, this “fear factor” can strike guys at different stages.

For most, it has to do with the initial approach/ice breaking.

For a few guys, approaching is easy, but they freeze up when it comes time to making that serious physical pass.

Wherever you may be having your “fear” or “shyness” or “freezing” problem, the good news is that there are powerful solutions to this that can get you going rapidly in the direction you want, without fear, shyness or shame.

Your Fear Of Women Is Not A “Thing”
(Nor Is Any Kind Of Social Fear
You May Be Experiencing)

Here is why: “fear” and “shyness” or “hesitation” are not THINGS that happen to you even though it may seem that way.

This applies to EVERYTHING – approaching women, saying hello to a stranger at a party, making the phone call that could get you a new job – whatever result you’re looking to gain for yourself.

You don’t have a bunch of “fear” or “shyness” or “hesitation” fluid running through your body, like transmission fluid in a car that some mind mechanic has to drain out so you can then be “confident”.

This isn’t on your keyboard for a REASON.

“Fear” or “shyness” or “hesitation” are internal mental processes that you DO to yourself.

You don’t HAVE “shyness”. You DO “shyness”, usually so quickly and outside of your awareness of how you are doing it that it seems like something that is just happening to you.

A good, solid meditation practice, using breathing, helps you overcome anxiety and fear.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. At the Magick and Remote Influence seminar in Los Angeles we’ll show you actual breathing and meditation practices that uncover and bring to light deeply hidden patterns and deconstruct them so they no longer bind you.

This, along with the Remote Influence exercises you’ll use to get them doing your bidding even when you’re not in the room, are why you need to join us.

CLAIM YOUR SEAT NOW (they are filling fast!)

Wow. Over six hundred people responded to my social skills survey and gave really thoughtful and in-depth answers. In retrospect, I really wish that I had done this survey before I had written the book. I think it would have made the outline a lot easier, and I wouldn't be making last-minute additions right before the book comes out.

But better late than never. I've skimmed all of the answers and ready many of them in detail. My main goal was to find patterns. I found some, but I was also struck by just how the diverse the set of goals, strengths, and weaknesses that we have is.

Just under 30% of people were satisfied or very satisfied with their social lives. The largest group was "Somewhat satisfied", followed closely by "Somewhat unsatisfied". That sounds about right to me. Social skills are difficult, but so important that we tend to push until we get right up to that "acceptable" level.

Before I jumped into social skills, sparked by my involvement in pickup, I think I would have answered either unsatisfied or somewhat unsatisfied, depending on how optimistic I was feeling. I was very satisfied with my friends, but not satisfied with myself. It felt like many people moved with a certain level of social ease that I couldn't understand, let alone replicate.

One person's answer to the question about how his life would improve with better social skills mirrored what mine probably would have been:

"I'd have a lot more opportunities thrown my way—I tend to close up a bit too much and I think this makes it harder for others to approach/like me."

I always felt like I was missing out-- that people who should like me didn't get to know me, because I did a poor job of presenting myself. I could imagine the positive changes new friendships and better social skills would get me, and I even knew roughly what needed to improve, but I didn't know how to improve.

As I've written a bunch of times before, getting into pickup really changed how I saw the world. It improved my social skills not just with potential dates, but with everyone. I began to understand the core principles and and underpinnings of social skills. That colored my experience for the past ten years as I've thought analytically about social skills and experimented in just about every way imaginable.

My favorite response in the entire survey was one of the last to be submitted:

"I still have certain friends that I'm in awe of. You know the type - they're the happiest people you know and luck always seems to work their way. They get themselves into amazing situations on accident and the right things just seem to happen to them. But really it's that they are incredibly adaptable, open and charismatic. To be able to harness that to talk to anyone at any time about any thing is an amazing skill. Right now I'm happy with my living situation, job and relationship status but developing that next level of confidence and ability sends positive ripples out into all aspects of your life."

To me that's exactly what this book is about. It's why I use the word "Superhuman" in my book titles. You can learn a minimal set of basic skills, practice them to achieve some level of proficiency, and then your results take a quantum leap-- what you're doing is easy and automatic, but it appears supernatural.

I like that that reader understands how it works. He talks about how it looks like luck, but understands that it's just the product of a learnable set of skills.

On Tuesday, September 29th, Superhuman Social Skills will be available on Kindle for free! It will also be available for purchase in paperback on Amazon, and will be available on Audible and iTunes in mid-October. I really appreciate all of the feedback on the survey, and I'm excited to be able to offer the book for free to all of the people who have supported me over the last ten years.

###

Photo is me writing the book on a cruise from Florida to London.

I booked another cruise for December, so I'm going to write another book. Thinking about doing a collection of fun/interesting/inspiring stories about people I've met while traveling.

Around 100 readers have been paid for the Free $36.50 Thing. The last day to do it is the 27th, so hurry if you're interested!

>> Comment on this Post · Like this Post

Making a girl smile and laugh, of course, is a critical part of having a successful long-term relationship with her. It will make her happy at the thought of being around you. Finding adorable things to say to a girl and mixing them into your regular conversations with her can, therefore, have some effect. But the key is to not let her think that you take them extremely seriously or are using them as genuine ways to compliment her.

If you say these type of things (some examples might be things like, “Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen someone as beautiful as you… I’d have a nickel,” or, “Hold on, I think you have something in your eye, wait a second… Oh no wait, that’s just a sparkle!” or, “This is kind of crazy… You look exactly like my next girlfriend!” or the classic, “Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?” or even cheesier ones such as, “I hope I have my library card with me, cause I am checking you out!” or, “I must be a snowflake, cause I’m falling for you,” among many, many, many others) you should say them all with a wry smile on your face, acknowledging that you are simply saying it to make her smile and not because it’s the only way you know how to genuinely compliment her.

Saying these types of adorable things to a girl is, therefore, actually more effective when you already know the girl and have some sort of relationship with her. If you are approaching a girl for the first time and have never spoken to her before, she is much less likely to know that you are being ironic and cute and might mistake what you are saying for a real attempt at a pick-up line, something very unlikely to work. If, however, you do know the girl, she is much more likely to understand who you really are and how genuine you can be, and therefore know that you are simply being playful and trying to get her to smile and laugh.

The post Adorable Things To Say To A Girl appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

The first thing to think about when trying to make a girl wet is picking the right time. Don’t simply try and force her to be in the mood when she is busy with something, way too tired from a long day, or bothered about something. If this is the case, try and help her out as much as possible by alleviating her workload (if you can) and talking to her about anything that is causing her stress. Furthermore, if she does not have anything stopping her from getting in the mood, you should still think carefully about how you transition to the act so as to not give off the appearance that you care little for what she has to say and only for what she has to offer you physically.

With these steps thought out, the next and most important thing when it comes to trying to make a girl wet is foreplay. Foreplay for men might seem like simply a short segway into bigger and better things, but for women it can mean the difference between truly enjoying the sex and simply going through the motions. Foreplay should generally start off softly with lots of kissing, caressing, and compliments, then gradually become more passionate.

Try to tease her a bit, (this can be done through pulling back momentarily as she is about to kiss you, or later when the clothes are off by circling her nipple or vagina with your fingers, lightly and repeatedly, without actually touching them for a while, among other ways) and make her realize how much she wants you. Once you have her clothes off, still don’t rush into anything, make sure she is wet by gently circling her clit with your finger and working your way deeper inside her, waiting for her verbal and physical acknowledgments of pleasure (by now you should be able to feel for sure whether your quest to make the girl wet has been successful) and only then should you transition into having sex with her.

While it may not seem like much, this can make a huge difference in the sexual experience of your female partner. This is great not only because she will want you more intensely and more often, but also because she will be much more likely to want you even when you are not with her, something that can make your job very easy when it comes to getting her in the mood when you do come home to her. Once you’ve mastered making a girl wet, you’ll barely have to do anything at all.

The post How To Make A Girl Wet appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

An interesting nuance about how human emotions work, how they impact our thoughts and behaviors, is the similarities between these emotions with respect to where they come from and how they impact us.

How many ways can you interpret her expression?

For example, let’s look at Fear and Excitement.

Seemingly two completely opposite reactions, right?  Well, yes and no.

Physiologically, there’s not much difference.

Both raise your pulse.

The difference is in how your emotional energy flows and how they make you FEEL.

When you experience fear, the energy is flowing inward. It inhibits you, stops you dead in your tracks, compresses you so you warily hunker down within your comfort zone.

That sultry vixen in the little black dress who you’ve had your eye on from the moment you walked in will never know what she’s missing because you won’t approach her and let her know.

Speaking of the world-famous LBD….

Excitement, on the other hand, is an outward flow of energy. This is an outpouring of exuberant vibe, a sense of liberation, a groundswell of unstoppable confidence that pushes you to climb to new heights.

Excitement is what will have that little black dress she’s wearing at the moment, flung casually on the floor next to your bed in about an hour or so.

They’re Both Forms Of Arousal:
It’s All About How You Process It

Think of it like this: physiologically, fear and excitement are both forms of arousal.

Fear has a “negative” emotional component, excitement is very “positive”, but they are otherwise very, very similar. You probably know how to label them differently, based on the context you are in right now, and also your past experiences.

If you had a history of past experiences of banging lots of beautiful women, it’s unlikely another HB10 would cause you fear, but

You Almost Definitely Will Get Excited
About Nailing Her

Yep.

If your mind is full of clutter, fear, and suppression because you view all women through the lens of the first girl who refused to dance with you in junior high while her friends joined her in laughing at you for asking, then your pulse will still race…..

….but from your internal defense mechanisms “bracing you” for another assault from a bitch-pack.

See the difference?

It’s often a very SUBTLE difference so it’s important to focus on what sort of arousal you’re dealing with.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. Would you like to enjoy incredible power and influence with the most important, special, people in your life… lovers, co-workers, business-people friends…and have them happily give you what you want without your having to say a word?

If this idea gets you aroused, you need to check out our new Magick and Remote Influence Seminar.

Adult relationships can be stressful. There are a host of expectations and “duties” that come out of the label of an exclusive relationship. This includes actions out in public as well as in the home, relations to friends and others outside the relationship, and plans about the future of the relationship among other things. Committing yourself sexually to someone else is simply not worth it for many adults who haven’t reached a maturity level suited to exclusiveness. As great as sex can be (and even in a bad relationship it can be fantastic), it is not worth the hassle that comes to attain it in this form. For those with experiences similar to those described, adult friends with benefits can be a life-changing way of peacefully incorporating consistent sexual intercourse into your life without causing you stress, hardship, or confusion.

Adult friends with benefits are those who you have sex with on a consistent basis without obligation or commitment, labeling, dating other people, etc. This does not mean that mistreating them won’t make them stop seeing you just as quickly as a girlfriend or boyfriend would, but like common courtesy the rules are implied. These arrangements can sometimes take on a routine – seeing them a certain amount of times per month or week, or meeting in a similar place each time – or they can simply consist of a phone call when one of you is interested in sex. The arrangements do not involve any sort of expectations outside the bedroom, how to treat your relationship in the future, etc, although adult friends with benefits are still friends and you will have to do what is expected as a friend.

This can be either a way to have sex consistently for those who do not like relationships, a wonderful change of pace from the stress of dating, or the breeding ground for a healthy relationship. If you want to spend time with each other outside the bedroom, feelings might spring up more naturally then you expect. Either way, having adult friends with benefits is not only possible but can be the better choice.

The post Adult Friends With Benefits – Part 2 appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

There are three main types of situations in which you would say cute sayings to girls: ones in which you have hooked up with the girl, ones in which you haven’t, but still know her well, and ones in which you barely know her at all. Saying cute things to girls you don’t know at all is the riskiest because you don’t really have an idea of how she might respond to you. Because of this, you should probably avoid anything too risqué or polarizing (don’t bring up any stereotypes she might get offended by, etc), and simply be ready to be ignored, turned down, or spurned.

The key to these situations is to alleviate the awkwardness of talking to someone for the first time by trying to make her laugh and ultimately think you are cute. If she orders a certain drink at a bar you can cut her off and say something like, “That’s so strange, I was just about to order that for you!” (make sure to have a wry smile as you say it so as not to seem pushy or desperate.) If you’re approaching her you might try something like, “This is so weird, you look exactly like my next girlfriend,” or perhaps something less compact, but more genuine, such as, “You know, I’ve been looking forever for a girl like you… Not you, that would be creepy, I have no clue who you are. Just someone like you, you know?”

If you want to say cute sayings to girls you have met or talked to before, you should try to acknowledge the fact that you’ve met them before and try to remember anything they told you. If they spoke about anything that you can ask them about, do it. If you remember what they were wearing, bring that up. Be as detailed as possible – it will make them feel special. More general sayings in these situations might be something cute like, “You know, when I first saw you I noticed your curves, but now I’m also seeing some new angles!” (Better hope she knows at least a little math!) You could also say something more genuine like, “I probably shouldn’t be admitting this, but I really haven’t stopped thinking about you since we last met.” Talking to a girl you’ve met before makes these sayings much easier.

Finally, if you have hooked up with her before, your job is much, much easier. You can make little comments about personal details or cute retorts (like if you say something and she tells you, “Ughh… how cute,” you can say, “You know what, you’re cute,” etc.) The point is that you know enough about her to personalize your comments, and at this point your job is much easier. Always try to make her laugh, always try to make her feel special, and you’ll be fine.

The post Cute Things To Say To Girls appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

I want to give you six hacks or six tricks to overcoming approach anxiety.

Now when I have a guy come onto one of my programs, one of the biggest sticking points he has is having approach anxiety. He has this severe fear that kind of wells up inside of him when he sees a girl, and that’s a natural feeling to have. But it’s something that can be overcome.

In this video, I’ll be giving you six cool tricks to overcome it. Without further adieu, let’s get started.

Approach Anxiety Tip #1. Approach Immediately

The first trick is to actually just approach the girl immediately. You spot that girl and without hesitation, boom! You do it. Then maybe a canned opener at your fingertips so you’re not thinking about what opener do I use. You just have a standard canned opener that you say right away.

Now the thing is when you wait, when you hesitate, you have these stress hormones, these stress chemicals into your body. As you’re looking at the girl, you’re just kind of taking a bath in these hormones of negativity and stress and you psyche yourself out of approaching.

It’s really not a good idea to be waiting. I mean I could be in a great state, approaching a ton of girls and then if you told me, “Okay, Jesse, I want you to look at that girl for 5 minutes. Not approach her, just look at her. And after those 5 minutes are up, then approach her.”

If I did that, I’m just looking at the girl for 5 minutes. Even if I was just killing it, approaching lots of girls with great momentum and great state, eventually I’m just going to psyche myself out. I’m going to have these negative chemicals, these negative hormones seep into my brain, seep into my body, and I’ll be more awkward or maybe I won’t be even able to do it because I’ve just been thinking about it for so long.

You don’t want to be in this mood of overanalyzing things or thinking things. There’s an old school game rule, the 3-second rule, which still applies today. You can follow that 3-second rule, 1-second, 2-second, 2-second approach you’re not giving yourself a chance to psyche yourself up. But more importantly, you’re not giving a chance for those that brain response that floods your body with these chemicals that are going to hold you back and stress you out.

Approach Anxiety Tip #2. Get Leverage

The second tip is that you want to get leverage on yourself where the pain of not taking action, the pain of not approaching is even worse than the pain of the approach anxiety. For example, when I first started out 15 years ago, I was like I’m going to cold approach a girl, my first girl. I was so nervous about it. I was dying inside almost.

But I went out for 3 to 4 hours every day, wandering around campuses, wandering around the mall, going into stores, going up to girls but just kind of chickening out. I get like right to the girl, and I won’t say anything. I will just freeze up.

I did that for 3 hours every day, not for one day, not for two days, not for three days, but not like 2 weeks like 15 days in a row where I just could not approach a girl. If you’re do math, 3 hours times 15 days, it’s like over 40 hours of just standing around, being in a stressed-out state, and it got to the point where I was like this was so painful, just wandering around, doing nothing, wasting all my time that eventually I was like, “Okay, fuck! I’m going to do it.”

I went up to a girl because the pain of just standing there and doing nothing and losing more of my time and just being in a stressful state was worse than the pain, than the perceived pain of having to go up to the girl, and the going up to the girl wasn’t so bad. Then it became really easy to approach girls.

You want to get leverage on yourself, maybe create a pain response even worse than the girl, so another trick is to go out with a friend and give him a $100 bill and you tell him, “If I don’t approach a girl today, you can keep that $100 bill.” Or you could say give the guy five $20s and tell him that for every girl you approach, he’ll give you back a $20 bill, o now you’ve got to approach five girls. That’s a common trick of getting leverage on yourself.

Now if you don’t have a friend to go out with or if you’re dead, dead broke and you can’t do that, just do what I did. Make a commitment to go out for 2 to 3 hours every day no matter what even if you just stand there, doing nothing. It takes you weeks and weeks and weeks to approach a girl. Make that commitment to go through the pain of losing your time, going through the pain of looking around for a girl to approach until it just becomes so painful that you actually force yourself to do it.

Approach Anxiety Tip #3. Change your standards

Okay, the third tip is that you want to lower your standards for success. Now again when I’m working with students on the program, they come in with this belief that they have to get the girl to like them or they have to get the phone number. They want to get to make out like they’re putting really high standards on themselves, even though they’re not experienced at all.

Even if you are well experienced, you don’t want to be putting high standards on yourself. That’s like living in an outcome, reaching for a really high outcome it’s going to psyche you out. It’s going to create approach anxiety because your expectations now are so high, so you want to change your expectations to something really simple, really easy to do, and that is to simply taking action.

If I go up and I approach that girl and I say hello to her, to me that’s a success because a lot of times, I’m really not in state. A lot of times, I don’t even feel like approaching the girl. A lot of times, it’s not even like ideal logistics or anything, and I know that it’s going to probably suck, so if I just go up and I say hello to the girl, to me I count that as a success even though I’ve got 15 years of experience under my belt.

You don’t want to be putting pressure on yourself. That’s no fun. That’s putting a high outcome, and you just want to avoid that. Lower your standards for success. That’s going to wash away a lot of the approach anxiety that you’re having. A lot of the approach anxiety stems simply because it had one thing you’re doing.

You’ve got to tweak that. Lower your standards of success, your approach anxiety, a lot of it is going to go away.

Approach Anxiety Tip #4. Don’t let your emotions decide for you

Tip number 4 is simply to man up, to harden up to the challenge. Now a lot of us, we face a little bit of discomfort, and to us, that’s a good enough excuse to just give up and go back to our comfort zone of watching television, or playing games, or going back to our normal life, but that really should not be an excuse not to take action.

For example, maybe eating vegetables and well-balanced diet is not as fun as eating sugar and cookies and hamburgers.

But as adults, we can make a logical, recent arguments inside our heads. Eat nutritious meals. We’re not children. We’re not 5 years old where we’re just going to go for the cookies and candies. Hopefully we’re not and we know how to take the long view of things and push through a little bit of discomfort to make our lives better.

Same thing, you can’t be in a mindset where I feel a little bit of discomfort. I see the girl. Okay, valid excuse to give up. I feel discomfort. I’m going to go back home. No, you really want to push through that and man up and harden up and kind of be okay with that chaos, be okay with those negative feelings, be okay with a little bit of adversity going on in your life.

For example I was watching the show Mountain Men on Netflix a couple of days ago, and these guys are out in the middle of nowhere like middle of nowhere Alaska and this guy, his snowmobile breaks down, and he’s 10 miles away from his cabin, hundreds of miles away from another human beings.

If he’s like, “Uhh, I don’t want to walk the 10 miles back to my cabin in the subzero temperatures. I’ll just hang out here.” Well, he’s going to die. He’s living that lifestyle maybe because he gets a thrill out of it.

But it kind of teaches an important lesson that there are men out there that will push through adversity, push through negative feelings. They kind of thrive on those negative feelings. They thrive on that adversity. It kind of them makes them feel alive. They don’t use that as an excuse just to give up. They kind of seek it out.

That’s a mentality that you want to change. You want to be seeking that discomfort, seeking that adversity, and manning up to the challenge. That’s what’s going to make you feel great. That’s what’s going to make you feel alive like you’ve had a life worth living.

Approach Anxiety Tip #5. Give your brain proof

The fifth tip for overcoming approach anxiety is simply that you are going to need experience to give your brain proof that you’re e not going to die.

You need to have some experience under your belt so that your brain has proof that just because you go up and talk to a girl that some other dude isn’t going to come along with a big rock and just whack you on the head and kill you.

It’s kind of like this old school concept that your brain wants proof not promises. You can read forms. You can read all kinds of field reports on pickup. You can do a lot of theory, but you’re still going to have approach anxiety because your brain wants hard proof that you are not going to get killed or socially ostracized by talking to this girl.

Just one thing to understand that you do an approach, you do a second approach, you do a third approach, the really difficult. Those would feel the most fearful, the most intimidating but once you get over that initial hump, it’s going to get a lot easier. It’s going to get a lot easier in the timeframe of a day where you do a couple of approaches. You’re going to build a little bit of state. You’re going like, “Okay. This is not so bad and no one is going to kill me. I feel a lot better about this.”

Over the long haul where you’re going months where you’re going to cultivate a sense of indifference, you might feel a little bit of approach anxiety at the start of the day, but a lot of the hard edge of it, the most difficult part will be taken off. It will feel a lot easier.

Just realize that your brain wants to have proof and that kind of works to your advantage because there’s this initial hump of approach anxiety.

Ninety-nine percent of guys won’t follow through with this because they’re going to be like, “Okay, this feels uncomfortable. I give up.” If you can get over that initial hump, you’re in that 1 percent and you’re going to really stand out. You’re eliminating 99 percent of your competition right there.

Personally, I love that guys have approach anxiety because it allows me to stand out. It allows my students to stand out, and you can really clean up very easily with women that way.

Approach Anxiety Tip #6. Feed your brain

Now the sixth tip to overcoming approach anxiety is to have good habits under your belt. Listen, if you’re not eating well, if you’re eating junk food. If you’re not going to the gym and you’re not feeling good about your body, you’re going to feel lethargic. You’re not going to have the energy to push through with that approach anxiety. You’re going to feel maybe not entitled if you’ve been sitting on the couch for days at a time.

It’s just going to be a lot easier to give in to the comfort, to go back to your comfort zone and to give up.

You want to have good habits under your belt ‑ eating good nutritious food, getting enough sleep, hitting the gym, getting some exercise, being physical. Being physical helps you in that habit of taking action because taking action with a girl is a very physical activity, feeling entitled to yourself, doing identity and affirmation in the morning. I spend 20 to 30 minutes every day just working on my identity, speaking out loud affirmations, getting my voice moving, unstifling myself. Mentally I’m kind of moving in the right direction because when I wake up first thing in the morning, I’m not in the mood to go approach some girls. That will be difficult for me as well, so I want to wake up my brain. I want to feed my brain healthy thoughts, healthy affirmations. Feed my brain healthy foods. Feed my brain with exercise, and then it’s a lot easier when I go up to that girl. I feel entitled. I feel worthy. I feel good. My mentality is on the right spots. I’m taking on the good identities of what I want to take on in terms of approaching that girl and it’s relatively easy.

If I didn’t do any of those things, I could still approach but yeah, I would have more approach anxiety.

You want to have the right habits under your belt and take care of your eating, take care of your exercise, take care of your brain with good affirmations.

Okay so that wraps up this video on my six tips for overcoming your approach anxiety.

Leave me a comment below. Maybe you have your own little tricks that you do that you can share to help other guys out with.

When asking yourself, “What do I want in a girl?” the first (and perhaps not as important thing) to get out of the way is to figure out your “type.” Although guys are attracted to women of all different shapes, sizes, builds, heights, etc, and with all different hair colors, hairs styles, fashion sense, etc, they generally have a certain type of girl to which they are most attracted. Why is this important at all to figure out? The reasoning is a bit complicated, but I’ll try to be brief: If you know which “type” you are most attracted to, then you can try to find girls of that “type” that are perhaps less conventionally attractive than others; aka the ones that most guys would not find as attractive.

This is because, first of all, you’ll have less competition because a girl who is your type will be more likely to be attracted to you in return (a huge plus for many guys), and also, they might have fewer tendencies that very attractive girls have to be slightly less nice, fun to be around, and in touch with reality (because they have not had as many things handed to them by guys and not obtained male attention with such ease throughout their lives.)

The second concern is what kind of girl could you see yourself living with, marrying, and if it is in your plans, having children with. The attractiveness of women will always fade (although your attraction for them might not), and you are ultimately, for most of a marriage or long-term relationship, left with who they are as a person and how you get along with them. Because of this, when you ask yourself, “What do I want in a girl?” you need to be thinking about what you want in a girl that you will like for a long, long time, not simply what kind of girl you want right now. Along these lines, you should think about the importance to you of her having a great (or at least compatible) sense of humor, the inner drive to succeed, a nice family, a nice job, the ability to cook, etc, and try to determine the type of person you are looking for.

Ultimately, answering these questions might not only make your search for a girl easier, but can also lead you to realize certain things about yourself – preference, standards, etc – that might not be attractive or realistic and that you might want to change. Thinking about this can be incredibly beneficial to you for the rest of your life.

The post What I Want In A Girl appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

Your attitude is the most important thing to work on. Girls – especially beautiful ones – can seem intimidating to talk to, but you cannot stutter or show self doubt when you do. Some tips to be confident include not stuttering (asking questions can be a great way to avoid this if you do get nervous around women), holding yourself upright, and making direct eye contact while speaking to a girl. This last point is extremely important; if you make direct eye contact and say something to a girl she will be drawn to your confidence and in many cases will hardly even pay attention to what you are actually saying.

Smooth lines to say to a girl are helpful, but it is not because girls are drawn to or attracted to you because of what you have said; rather, they are drawn to the confidence you have exhibited in saying it (in this case, a combination of physical confidence and confidence in your use of words.) Girls appreciate puns, double entendres, and the like, as long as they are smooth and fit naturally into the conversation or the environment you are in and don’t seem like they are separated from the rest of your conversation or personality. Many of the best smooth lines to say to a girl simply come from the situation you are in.

Examples might include a girl behind a counter asking you what your number is (and referring to the number on your receipt), and you replying by telling her and then asking for her number in return, or a girl asking you why you are whistling or laughing or in a good mood and you replying that it is because you are around her, etc. These lines should flow naturally and display the natural confidence you have, they should not ever be thought of as replacements for a lack of confidence.

A final note: Girls like to feel special. Some of the best smooth lines to say to a girl involve you pointing out something that you noticed about her – either the way she looks, what she is wearing, the way she carries herself, her mannerisms, etc – that makes her stand out to you. Tell her that you just had to say it to her or you wouldn’t live with yourself if you left without telling her this compliment (or even asking her out.) This not only makes her feel special (as if you singled her out among all the other girls in the room, or even your life in general) but also exhibits your confidence.

The post Smooth Lines To Say To A Girl appeared first on Vin DiCarlo.

Watch the video above.  My computer configuration delivers a 20” inch screen and powerful enough to do video editing, yet it’s light and easy to take on an airplane.  You can also convert it to “mini size”, if you want to take it to a café in a small bag.

Best of all, you keep the computer OFF of your legs, so that you don’t receive cancer-causing EMF radiation.

The Equipment

Here’s a list of the equipment.

• Surface Pro
• SanDisk U128GB Micro SDXC Card
• Acer G206HQL 19.5” Widescreen Display
• Mini DisplayPort to DVI Adapter
• OontZ Portable Wireless Bluetooth Loud Speaker
• Oontz Speaker Travel Carry Case
• Grifiti 12” Wrist Pad
• Logitech Bluetooth Illuminated Keyboard K810
• Cosmos Leather Protective Case for Logitech K810 Keyboard
• Honey Can-Do Portable Lap Desk
• Microsoft Sculpt Comfort Bluetooth Mouse
• Perixx Aluminum Mouse Pad
• Everki Titan Laptop Backpack (will hold a 20″ monitor as a carry-on for airplanes when traveling)
• Anker Multi-Voltage (5V 12V 16V 19V) Portable External Battery

Once you complete your pre-opener, it’s time for an “opener”.

A great example is: Comment, Question And Observation.

It’s real easy to make her like it, even if you guess incorrectly.

For example: if she looks athletic, look at her and say, “Can I ask you a question? Do you do a martial art? Can you fight?”

After she responds – no matter what answer she gives – follow up with, “Because you carry yourself with discipline and elegance. It’s a very unique combination.”

Then you’re going to introduce yourself. “My name is Dick Dickerson (use your own name of course LOL).”

If you’re just starting out with Speed Seduction, or jump-starting a rusty Sargy machine, for the first two or three weeks I just want you to get good at doing that.

Let’s Run Through This One More Time
For Profound Understanding

Here’s the sequence:

You: “Can I ask you a question? Do you do a martial art? Can you fight?”

Her: (yes, no, doesn’t matter what she says)

You: “Because you carry yourself with discipline and elegance. It’s a very unique combination.”

Her: “Oh my god! That’s such a sweet compliment.”

You: “My name is ______.” (Reach your hand out, shake her hand and look her in the eye.)

See how easy this is?

And the best part is: no matter how she answers, your follow-up will be the same, and will apply.

Once You Have That Part Down,
Work On Your Voice

Practice this out loud before you go out. You can use this ANYWHERE, so do it even before you run to the bank.

Practice how your voice is going to sound and the pace at which you’re going to say it.

…and that could speed up the pace toward THIS happening.

The next layer is to master your Sexual Sonics™.

When you multiply the power of a sexually sonic voice with Speed Seduction® language patterns, it’s giving you what even **I** consider to be….

…..an unfair advantage over the 99% of men out there who will never even have a clue about it, and will never enjoy the power of it.

Peace,

RJ

With any approach toward women, whether it’s a funny approach or question, comment and observation, we want to do a pre-opener.

It’s all about that “first look”.

A pre-opener is something you say very briefly to a woman just so she can sample your voice and presence and know that you’re safe.

For example, in a coffee shop my pre-opener would be, “Excuse me. I just need to reach over you and grab the half and half.”

Something very important:

A Pre-Opener Is Not Intended To
Pick Her Up, Close The Deal, or
Anything In Between

It’s merely a way for her to sample my voice (going along with Sexual Sonics™) and presence so she can do a really quick split-second evaluation and decide, “Is he dangerous or okay?”

Other examples:

• “Excuse me. I need to reach for the Stevia.”
• “Excuse me. I need to step to the side of you.”

It’s something very simple.

Plus, this is a great first step toward overcoming approach anxiety, gaining your confidence with women, and beginning to establish your command presence with women.

By doing this, you’ll see that 99.9998% of attractive women will NOT bite your head off just for daring to breathe the same oxygen they do.

Peace,

RJ

P.S. What I’ve described is the first few seconds of Act One. Wanna cut to the chase, quick? Click here.

I woke up to a message from my friend Leo, asking if I'd heard the news about Scott. I assumed that it must be some amazing story or accomplishment, as that's the sort of thing you hear about Scott.

"He died. On Kilimanjaro."

The last I'd heard from Scott was ten days prior. Five of us have an accountability group, and in his update he was talking about his plans for the future, and his apprehension about being away from the computer for a week to climb mount Kilimanjaro.

I'm still stunned that he's gone. He was in extremely good health, was young, and wasn't a reckless risk-taker. Kilimanjaro is an extremely safe mountain, claiming just a few lives per year against the tens of thousands who climb.

Scott's goal in life was to change the world by encouraging people to do work they love. He created groups of people in 150 different cities around the world who met regularly to support and motivate each other. Scott was in the middle of a year-long trip around the world with his wife, but he still made time to host reader meetups. When we'd talk about his business, his overriding priority was the wellbeing of his community, not the money he made from them.

The real tragedy of his death is that his impact on the world, while significant, will fall short of its potential.

Scott was so overwhelmingly positive and enthusiastic about life that I couldn't help but wonder if it was an act at first. It wasn't. I don't think I ever once saw him where he didn't have a beaming smile across his face. Whenever he was part of a group, he brought the energy level up and kept everyone in a good mood. It's probably no coincidence that even his wife's email announcing his death contains a ray of positivity:

"The only thing that gives me comfort during this very difficult time is to know that he was out living his dream and truly lived each day without regret. We got to spend nearly every day of the last 8 months
with one another, exploring the world - and our last few days were spent out in nature, disconnected from from anything other than one another."

I think that's how Scott would feel, too. I'm sure he died with no regrets, and wouldn't do anything different. He lived a good life, left behind friends and family who loved him, and impacted thousands of people across the world in ways that will continue on.

###

Photo is Scott speaking at TEDx Golden Gate. Take twenty minutes and watch his talk -- it's really good.

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As I've mentioned briefly before, I'm finishing up a book called Superhuman Social Skills. I think that this is going to be the best and most impactful book I've written, so I'm really trying to make it great. I'd like to ask for your help with that, and to give you the book for free as a thank you.

I've spent the last few days talking with three guys who are absolute experts on launching books: Noah Kagan, Charlie Hoehn, and Taylor Pearson. One thing they all stressed with me was that I should involve my readers from the beginning, and make sure that the book is tailored towards them. Ideally I would have done that before I started, but it's a bit too late for that.

I've put together a really short survey, just six questions. If you could take a few minute to answer them, it would mean a lot to me. Whether you have great social skills, poor social skills, or anywhere in the middle, your responses will help shape the book. I'll personally read every answer.

I'm also creating a Thunderclap campaign. It's a cool service that will synchronize one tweet/facebook post across everyone's accounts. So if you help me out by joining in, Thunderclap will post one message about my book to your twitter or facebook on launch day.

Giving away the book on launch day works because when you switch it to be a paid book the next day, it keeps a lot of the momentum from the first day. I'm a little bit terrified to do this, as my books do really well on their first days and I'm giving up a bunch of money up front by making it free. However, I do like the idea that idea that all of my readers can get the book for free, and that's what pushed me over the edge to try it out.

So, to recap:

1. I'm putting out my best book yet, Superhuman Social Skills, and I'm giving it away for free on the first day.
2. I'd love your input into the book by taking this survey.
3. I'd also love your help getting the word out by joining this Thunderclap campaign

###

Photo is a cool sculpture in Dublin

Two weeks left on Libertad Apparel's Wool Shirt Kickstarter. I have one and love it. I wore mine to a wedding a couple weeks ago because it has a really nice formal look.

If you haven't done the free money thing, you should! I've already sent $37.50 to a bunch of readers. For those still waiting, I send the $37.50 as soon as your bitcoins show up in your account, which sometimes takes a few days.

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How often has a woman said “call me this weekend and we’ll see?” How vague!

(And if you play into it, you lose.)

This is most likely NOT what she’ll be doing this weekend, at any rate.

Recently, a student asked me whether he should “strike while the iron is hot” or wait until Saturday.

First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: never call Saturday.

It means she has you following her directions, almost like she’s thinking, “Let’s see if this guy follows my direction and is predictable.”

Don’t be predictable – and don’t rush it.

Now, this New Code for calling her may blow your mind (and hers):

Don’t Call This Weekend At All…
Wait Until Tuesday To Call Her!

Call her on, say, Tuesday and tell her this:

Hey. This is Dick Dickerson. (Insert your own name of course.) Sorry I didn’t get back to you this past weekend. I had some stuff come up that I couldn’t resist doing, but why don’t we see if we can bang our schedules together and come up with some time that we can enjoy.

Get it?

Here’s the concept:

• She said she’s busy this week but to call her this weekend. If you do, it shows her you’re holding up everything to plan your weekend around her (aka: desperate supplication).
• Therefore, if you call her this weekend, in effect you’re saying, “I put my weekend plans on hold for you because I think you’re so important. You’re the only choice I have.”

She said, “Call me this weekend,” which is no guarantee either. [It’s not like she said “I’m really busy this week but I totally want to see you. Can we make plans for the weekend?”, which would be a different story.]

By Waiting, You Come Back
Unpredictable – And Turn Around
The Frame

By Tuesday, she’ll be all “What’s taking him so long? What, he doesn’t like me?”

When you call her on Tuesday and say, “Hey. Sorry I didn’t get back to you this weekend. I had a few things come up that I couldn’t resist,” yhat you’re implying is you were busy and having fun.

Since you didn’t call her that weekend, she’s going to be wondering if maybe you’re not that into her and what you’re doing. Now, she’s going to want to explore.

(How about THAT for a shift!)

Peace,

RJ

P.S. The New Code is an entirely new set of algorithms – fundamental principles and deep insights into the operating system of how all people (men AND women)…

….create their sense of what’s possible, what they can do, and what they desire in their world.

Don’t wait until the weekend, or until next Tuesday – this, you want to jump on now!

People in general love leaders, and there are million of reasons why is that, lets analyze some main qualities that leaders have and how they affect people. I will be mainly talking from my perspective, and relate to events that happened to you in your life. You can incorporate those things immediately and start to lead.

Leader makes a decision, that is good for  HER / whole group – therefore you follow him

Situation :  2am in morning, you and 3 girls in front of a nightclub. club is closing,. your girls would like to go somewhere else but they don’t know where. They start to argue with each other in front of a club.
One girl would like  to go to a club X. Other girl doesn’t like club X because her ex boyfriend works there. 3rd girl wants to go to Lounge bar, 1st girl says no good because she cannot dance there.

What a Leader does ( you in this case ) :
You have to  come up with a plan ( a club )  that will make happy to all 3 girls + you
Ideal : place that’s open for few next hours, that has a dance floor, and not far away. Something for next few hours.
You say :”Girls I know this place “Y” its behind the corner, its a cool bar but you can dance, and its best place in area, let’s go”… you take one of the girls who likes  this idea, and start walking, others will follow.

Leader  help people reach their goals in their confused situations. A great leader can make whole group happy  with one decision. Once you start doing it on regular basis, people will start to follow you and ask you for advices what to do/ where to go.

 Leader  has a plan that sounds good / better then other plans – therefore people  fallow him.

If your plans makes sense to all of them and they are all satisfied with it, they will accept you to lead them.

2) Leader takes responsibility for action, they get courage they follow you.

Situation :

You are standing on a side of a road to cross the road ( zebra) to cross the road, its red, there are 10people around you waiting to cross the road as well. There are no cars, left or right. you feel stupid waiting, everyone is waiting green light.
You start crossing the road.

what they do? —>they follow. not all of them, but few.

Most people are afraid to break a law by themselves, but if they see someone else do it, they will get courage and join. But they need someone to start it. They need a Leader!

3) Leader that  has strong beliefs, and they will resonate with them, they will fallow him.

Martin Luther King managed to gather millions with his ”I have a dream” speech, just sharing publicly his few believes. This was way before internet, Tv newspapers.. If people like what you share/ think/ believe, they will follow you.

Formula for Leading in Seduction :

The one who follows should always be happy and think leading gets her/him to something  good ( what he/she wants)

Leader doesn’t leads just because he likes to lead, of course he has his intentions and goals.

For example : Players goal on leading in club is to get girl/ girls back to my place for sex.
Wrong  play:
after 20min conversation with a girl in a club you say “Hey, lets go back to my place”. A girl will resist, because
a) she doesn’t trust you yet

b) Lead is too big for her ( jump from club to home)

c) she feels like a slut – going home directly from a club

Exception : this can work only on girls who are totally horny, and therefore lead make sense because she wants it.

So rule 2# on Leading is : Always create a wish/ need for it before leading towards it.

A proper play way of leading towards to his place.

Step1 – after 15min conversation, “Let’s go get some drinks”, you isolate her to a bar or some where else in a club – it was good for her / she get’s something. Player is one step closer to his goal.

Step2 – Its 2-3 am in morning. she is probably hungry ( we all are at that time. Player : There is a good salad bar outside of a club, let’s go get some food. – Player is a  2 steps closer to his goal. she is outside of a club.

Step 3 – after food, Player can easily lead to his place for a glass of wine/ some drinks..

Conclusion :

Player sees a global plan, a full picture. And has a clear vision of end goal and steps he has to take. A girl does not sees whole picture. She as a follower sees only one step ahead. A girl may refuse drink or a food, but Player stays on his global outcome as he finds an alternative solutions. Its like GPS…”This road is blocked, finding an alternative route to home”

So an Important rule of Leading is :
girl / girls always feel your leading is good for her, she benefits out from it.  It has to make sense for her, otherwise lead will fall apart.
Example 1 (bad)
Players says, let’s go to my car. ( he wants to isolate her for a sex)
Girl will resist/ refuse because :
a) Its vague

b) why are we going to a car

c) what we going to do there (suspicion)

d) it has nothing to do with her ( who does she needs a car)

Lead will fall apart.

Example 2 : ( good)
“Let’s  move to a better club, it just opened its best one in town.. you simply  have to see it. let’s go for a drink there. It’s too far for a walking since you are in high-heels,so let’s get my car and drive there. come..”

now this lead makes sense for her, and its has a clear explanation why  she needs a car (high heels and walking). Its a good plan and she will agree for you to take her there. You do not really have to go to a 2nd club. Once you have her in a car, you can change the plansd, and escalate or come up with a better plan or  do whatever you want.

Since Player has to manage groups of people,  deal with her friends, her, he has to become a Leader. He has to take care od her / them. So starts adding good leadership skills in your personality. You will need them in all areas of life

The post How to Lead appeared first on BadBoy Lifestyle.

I hesitate posting stuff like this because I generally try to talk about stuff that might be useful long term, not just a quick short term boost. But I figure most readers could use a free $36.50, so it's probably worth posting. And I'll still post a real post later this week.

Coinbase is the premiere place to buy bitcoins. I'm a big believer in bitcoin and have bought through Coinbase myself. Right now they have a promotion where if someone buys $100 of bitcoins, the person who referred them gets $75. Sign up under my link, and I'll split the $75 with you, so that we each get $37.50.

The service fee is 1%, which means that you'll spend $101 to get $137.50. You can immediately cash back out to cash, or you can keep the bitcoin.

Once you buy the $100 and it arrives, send me an email (cb@tynan.net) and I'll send you back $37.50. Total time should be around five minutes to get some free money and support this blog.

This works in the US, UK, and most of Europe. Coinbase is a huge US company that's raised $100MM, so there's no risk. You have to buy 100 in your currency (100 GBP, USD, EUR, etc).

Link to start is here: https://www.coinbase.com/join/tynan

And... once you're signed up, you can make this same deal with your friends or family, so you could make more than $36.50.

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Last night I played poker at Bellagio in Las Vegas. At one point I got pocket queens, a tremendously good hand. The hand played as expected until the last card. I got raised by a mediocre player which meant that I could be assured that he had made his hand. I had hundreds of dollars in the pot, but I folded. The money was spent, and chasing after it wouldn't do me any good.

When I got home, I cleaned up my place and packed for my trip the next morning. Several months earlier I had used some airline points to book a round trip flight to Hong Kong. I stayed up late to get myself tired for the flight, and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to my alarm. I packed up my laptop, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and began to dial the number for the taxi company to take me to the airport. I paused for a minute and then put down the phone.

Why was I going to Hong Kong? I like Hong Kong a lot, especially this one teahouse in the park. And I had twelve hours in Seoul, which I was looking forward to. But beyond that, there was no reason to go. I was going by myself and had nothing planned. On the other hand, I had tons to do in Las Vegas. I'd finally gotten a stove, so I could complete the kitchen remodel I was working on. I had lots of regular work to do, too.

On the other hand, I'd already used a lot of points for this flight...

I went online and canceled the short repositioning flight that was to take me to San Francisco, where the trip to Hong Kong began.

Thinking about the money already spent is an example of the sunk cost fallacy. The trip seems more valuable to me because I've already paid for it. But I don't get that money back if I go, and I don't get it back if I don't go. It's irrelevant to my decision. The real decision, free of bias, is whether I'd rather be in Las Vegas or Hong Kong. And I knew I'd rather be in Vegas, so I didn't take the flight.

My motivation carried on through the day. I went to Lowes (twice), and got everything I needed to complete my work. I installed the sink, faucet, dishwasher, and water purifier. I put in a new outlet for the stove and got it set up. I got a quote for the countertops. At nine at night, when I finally stopped, I had a functioning kitchen that I could cook dinner in.

Emotionally I felt as though I might regret skipping my trip, but I don't. That's generally how it works when you disregard sunk costs. Emotionally it feels tough, but you end up making the decision you actually want to have made. When you make decisions, don't think about what you've put in, think about what you'll get out. What's done is done, and suboptimal choices won't change that.

###

Photo is some tea from last time I was at that tea place. Looking at that does sort of make me wish I could transport myself there for at least a day...

Superhuman by Habit will be available as an audiobook very soon-- some time within the next 24-48 hours or so! Hopefully people are interested in that... it took a while for me to narrate and edit.

Superhuman Social Skills will be released on September 17!

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I want to talk about how the aging process affects your game.

How is it different for a 20-year-old compared to that of a 40-year-old because I started this about 20 years ago almost back when I was around 20 years old. Now I’m nearly 40 years old, so I’ve had the unique perspective of experiencing the game and approaching women and meeting girls in my early 20s, in my late 20s, in my early 30s, and now my late 30s.

There are a couple of differences that happen to you physically and mentally, some actually quite positive and help you out. So you can actually as a guy in your late 30s, if you’ve been at it, you can do much better than a guy who’s in his late 20s.

But there are things to watch out for. There are negatives that crop up that you have to plan against and prepare against if you want to keep doing this well into your 40s and 50s.

The first factor as you get older is you have to walk a more narrow path of good habits. First of all, if you are eating poorly and you’re not exercising, and you’re drinking and you’re not getting enough sleep. If those happen over decades, it’s going to really wear your body down.

You’re going to feel terrible. You’re going to develop fat all over your body. You might have a beer gut. You’re not going to feel motivated and going out to approach girls and meet girls, and do well with the women is going to be completely off the table because you’re going to feel like shit. You’re not going to be motivated, and you’re not going to feel entitled to have these pretty girls.

But more than that, even if you walk a narrow path of really good habits and you’ve got your nutrition down. You’re eating clean foods. You’re going to the gym religiously and keeping that testosterone levels up, and you’re getting enough sleep so you feel good and you’re not putting drugs into your body.

But let’s say that you step off of that path for a week, or even for a couple of days, you go on a vacation and you just drink too much. You stay up really late and you don’t get enough sleep. You’re not going to the gym and you’re not eating right because at the resort, there’s like buffets everywhere, junk food or fatty food.

Well, a couple of days into that is really going to throw you off. You’re going to feel completely discombobulated, and you’re not going to feel motivated any longer. After maybe just one or two days, then you’re going to need days more of recovery just to get yourself feeling normal again.

Whereas if you’re 20 you don’t have to walk as much of a narrow road of good habits. You can drink and then wake up the next day and still be good to go. You could maybe not get enough sleep, and the next day still be good to go. You don’t have to necessarily be working out because your body is naturally producing muscle and testosterone on its own whether you’re working out or not, which is not the case when you’re 40.

By the time you hit 40, your body is not naturally producing that much testosterone anymore. You’re not naturally producing new muscle mass anymore. Your body, it’s default state is just to put on fat.

It takes you longer to recover when you step off the path of good habits, and you’re going to be more discombobulated when you do so.

As you get older, your path to actually do well and feel well becomes narrower and narrower and tighter and tighter.

The second thing that happens as you get older is you become more entrenched in wanting comfort, in seeking comfort,  and not pushing your comfort zone.

When you’re a young guy and someone is like, “Okay, go approach 10 girls.”

You could be like, “That sounds risky and the adrenaline pumping and I’m up for the challenge. I’m just really pushing my comfort zone.”

You are going to be more apt to embrace that compared to when you are say 40 years old, you are more inclined to be like, “I’ll just sit in a chair. That’s more comfortable.”

There’s a couple of reason for this. One is just habits built over the decades. For example, if you start off in your 20s, it’s always choosing the comfortable path. “Yeah, I could approach girls, but it’s just easier to play video games. Yeah, I could hit the gym, but I don’t know I’ll just be comfortable and watch a movie.”

You have decades of that building up. You’re training your brain a certain way to take certain kinds of actions until it just becomes second nature not to want to push your comfort zone, but it goes a little bit deeper than that. I think there’s a genetic component as well.

If you are a young guy in your early 20s, biologically because you’re so young, you wouldn’t have accumulated much resources or status in the tribe. Maybe you don’t have a girlfriend yet. You wouldn’t have had kids yet. You wouldn’t have had time to have houses, or property, or whatever it is, or much status.

It would be in your interest to take more risk, to push your comfort zone that’s going to attract a young female to you. You can become a young warrior, which is a risky business, or go hunting. That’s also very risky.

You’ve got all that testosterone pumping through your veins that’s going to make you take risks. But as you hit 40 years old, in the tribe most likely you would have kids by then or you would have had a couple of wives by then or you would have had accumulated resources like your own hat, or your own fur skins, or whatever it is.

You would be more inclined to want to protect what you’ve already built up. You’re not going to have as much testosterone flowing through you that’s going to push you to take risks. Instead, you’re going to want to just lock down what you’ve already have and not push your comfort zone. You’re going to become scared of change more.

Whereas the young guy, “Cool change. That would be awesome. Maybe some of the older guys will die off. Maybe the status order will get shaken up and I can rise on top more quickly.” You might be more inclined to embrace change.

But for an older guy, not so much. The older guy is more about seeking comfort, not pushing his comfort zone, not wanting anything to change, and that’s going to affect you in the game.

As you become older, what’s going to happen is, “Should I go out and meet girls? It’s just easier to stay home. I don’t want to rock the boat. Should I try to build a harem of girls? Just easier to not rock the boat and stay home. I don’t want things to change. Do I have to change what I’m doing? Do I have to change something about my identity? Do I have to work on myself? That’s a lot of effort. I’ll just not do it. I’ll just prefer to be comfortable.”

That kind of sneaks up on you more as you become older. A lot of times guys become less flexible, and they get steeped in these habits of not taking the right actions.

That’s a trap you really have to watch out for. But just that awareness where you realize your brain, your unconscious brain is telling you just be comfortable. Don’t take risks. Don’t take push yourself.

No! I’m not going to let that happen. I’m going to take right action despite what my unconscious brain is telling me. I’m going to do it no matter what.

What does this mean if you’re a young guy in your late teens, or early 20s, or mid 20s, what conclusions can you draw from this?

First of all, if you’re thinking to yourself, “Yeah, I want to start my off business and travel the world but I got to do that later. I got to put that off.” Or, “Yeah, I want to be approaching girls, but that has to come later at a future time.” Or, “Yeah, I know I need to get my health under control. I want to put on some muscle and lose the gut, but that’s going to come later.”

Okay, you might have reasonable arguments for putting things off but the thing that you have to understand is that it’s not going to get any easier for you as you get older simply because your brain is going to be more entrenched in wanting to conserve resources and not take risks and not push the comfort zone. As you get older, you have to walk a tighter and tighter path of good habits just to stay at a baseline normal level.

When you’re younger, that’s the easiest time to embark on new adventures, that’s the easiest time to take new risks both physically and mentally. If you put it off, if you wait, it’s just going to get increasingly difficult for yourself.

The other thing to keep in mind is that when you are younger, it’s always easier to change direction because you haven’t built up decades of negative habits. If you wait to do something until you’re mid 30s or you’re 40s like you actually want to start hitting the gym and getting physically fit. You might want to do that, but it would be really hard to execute it because now you’ve got decades of habits behind you where you were thinking, “Okay, I should hit the gym…nah! I won’t do it. I’ll just prefer comfort. I’ll prepare to relax and watch some television. Yeah, I should approach girls but…nah! Forget it. It’s just easier to stay home, play games, and be comfortable.”

You have decades of making that decision, and it becomes almost like this unconscious part of you because it’s so reinforced over hundreds of instances so that by the time you’re in your 30s or 40s, you’re really out of shape. You’re really sloppy, and you’ve really dug yourself deep in this habit hole that’s almost impossible to dig yourself out of. It’s always better to establish your habits when you’re young, as young as possible, which means you want to establish good habits like right now today.

Even if you don’t have time to approach girls like a maniac ‑ and that’s something you want to do in the future ‑ you can still carve out 20 minutes a day to talk to one or two girls on the bus or the train, or on your campus, going for a walk, at work, or maybe going out a couple of nights a week, just to kind of build up that habit, build up that right action of taking the right decision and establishing those neural connections in your mind when you’re young so that it feels easy and normal as you get older.

It’s not uncommon where I’d be on a one-on-one boot camp with a young student and it’s great that he’s taking action. It’s great that he showed up. It’s great that he’s pushing himself, he’s pushing his comfort zone. But at the end of the day, he’s kind of ambivalent to what he’s doing. He’s really passive in his approach.

Me, a lot of times, he’s skinny. He’s not working out. He’s eating the wrong kinds of foods, pounding back pizza and hamburgers because he’s got a fast metabolism when he’s young and he can still handle it, but he might be drinking and have some other bad habits under his belt.

I’m telling him, “What the fuck are you doing? This is only going to get more difficult as you get older to change. It’s not going to get any easier to change than it is right now. You want to establish good habits when you’re young, so that you can keep going into your 30s and 40s, so o that what you’re doing is sustainable. So that your testosterone levels remain high and remain sustainable into your 40s, so your sex drive and your motivation to meet girls remains sustainable into our 40s, so that you’re constantly pushing your comfort zone when you’re young, so that you are in good habits to constantly push your comfort zone when you get into your 40s.

That’s really important to establish right now, as early as possible, as soon as possible. This is something you kind of work on immediately and don’t slack off just because you’re young, just because to a certain sense you are invincible because when you are young, yeah you can walk as much as sloppier a habit’s path and still feel motivated, still feel good, still feel healthy.

But that will disappear very quickly. By the time you hit 40 if you’re not walking a very narrow path of good habits, you’re going to feel like crap, you’re not going to feel motivated, you’re going to look like shit.

Start practicing that narrow path of good habits right now, right now when you’re in your early 20s and late teens. It’s very critical.

Guys, leave me a comment below. What do you think? Maybe some of you are older. You can talk about your experiences or maybe some of you are younger, what you’re doing to walk that narrow road of good habits and push yourself developing the good habits early on.