The Pink Kit for positive birth

Two Out Of Four Pink Kit Births

2009-07-10T13:50:00.002+12:00

9 July 20009

Here's another Pink Kit story. This woman has used The Pink Kit for 2 of her 4 births.

Wintergreen,
I wanted to write you at least briefly to let you know I witnessed yet another amazing pink kit birth.

My sister in law J's 4th baby, Anthony, was born a little over a month ago. She labored so well that the attending nurse didn't even realize she was giving birth until his head was already halfway out. He was born within 2 hours of labor beginning, was 9lb 11 oz at birth and came out with one fist up by his head (fist of power ? =). She had just a very minor scrape. The Pink Kit skills were an absolutely integral part of her extremely effective labor. She prepped for birth using the PK skills she already had, during labor we used various pk exercises to relax her pelvis between contractions, I regularly reminded her about the exercise in plumbing and her teamwork with the baby to get him out as efficiently as possible was awesome.

We thank you & the Pink Kit yet again!

This Woman 'Gets' That Birth Is Birth.

2009-07-09T16:24:00.003+12:00

8 July 2009

I've been having a correspondence with a wonderful woman who has two parts of herself. She really believes that every family should have the best skills for themselves in pregnancy, childbirth and parenting ... without judgment. The other part of her is directed toward 'alternatives' ... which in some ways excludes many families who do not want anything alternative!

Recently she went to a conference and wrote me after that.

I see now, after the {conference} training what you were trying to get through my head the first time we talked.

Birth is birth, like you said, it's going to happen whether we like it or not. And accepting birth in this way leaves no room for judgment! And this is extremely important in regards to the various amount of issues that can occur during the childbearing year. I get it!!!

I believe the same in regards to bonding with your baby, whether natural/hospital birth, breastfeeding/bottlefeeding, stollers or baby wraps/slings - everyone wants a strong and healthy bond with their baby. And everyone has the right to bond with their baby in the ways they feel are comfortable. We simply teach the ways that have been proven to increase the family bond with new baby and we try to create new ways for mother, father and baby to bond in many different situations.

I would like to work with you more and have lots on my plate right now but first let's schedule a weekly meeting like you proposed.

Hopefully she and I will work together more closely

Take responsibiity for your own pregnancy and birth experience

2009-06-16T05:20:00.005+12:00

15 June 2009

Great Pink Kit story. I keep forgetting to install them on the blog. Too many 'social network' things to do along with everything that has to be done. But this story talks about how to use your Pink Kit skills prior to birth ... or afterward if necessary.

'Greetings from W, where the sun is finally shining and spring/summer seems to be upon us. I have been thinking a lot about you recently as my husband and I prepare to welcome another babe into our family in the next week or so. As we have been reviewing the Pink Kit I think back to our email conversations while I was in Z and then afterward when we were at my parents place. And I guess I am just grateful for the advice and suggestions you gave me (us) and the way in which the Pink Kit has added so much to our understanding and preparation for childbirth. So, thank you.

I am feeling pretty good about the upcoming labour and delivery and made an interesting discovery last week while practicing the Hip Lift with my husband. This babe sits quite low in my pelvis and has introduced me to a number of nerves I didn’t know much about. It has also been leaning quite heavily on my inner left hip (near the sit bone). These past weeks I have often found walking to be a challenge (which I do a far amount of to get the older one to and from school). I have been taking daily baths and right lying to try and get some relief. And then last week after practicing a left Hip Lift in the evening I found the next day (and since) to be so much better. The babe is still very low but has hopped off my left inner hip and feels more centrally placed. I felt so pleased to find the Pink Kit resources working for me even before labour has begun'.

Remember if we want childbirth to change then we have to change the expectation we place on ourselves as mothers and fathers-to-be. This family has taken the time and made the effort to learn the PK skills and then apply them. Birth change will only occur when the majority of pregnant families become skilled at giving birth whether they have a natural/medical birth, at home/hospital or with a midwife or obstetrician.

This family didn't wait for someone else to give them a better birth ... they are birthing better even during pregnancy.

What Does This Financial Crisis Mean To Childbirth?

2009-04-21T11:11:00.001+12:00

21 April 2009

As a registered not-for-profit charitable Trust, Common Knowledge Trust, we have an obligation to uphold our goals and objectives and work toward bringing them into public awareness.

This means, my job is always to articulate what CKT is about and how our goals and objectives impact and are impacted by changes in society.

Right now we are at an end of a era. Since the mid 1980s everyone has gotten fat of the hog so to speak. We've wanted more, gotten more, gone into debt for more, wanted everything to be easy and painless. We just wanted, got and felt entitled to our super abundance.

Human nature is like that sometimes. We feast when we can. Of course there's a flip side, we store when we need to.

How does this relate to childbirth?

When I gave birth to my first child in 1970 there was lots of positive changes happening. Too many for me to recount. People were hopeful that birth would find a balance between being a 'natural part of life' and the modern health care that was available. And, for a while it looked like this would happen.

From my perspective a lot had to do with Lamaze and Bradley childbirth education. These two systems were based on skills and fathers active participation in labour and birth. For many millions of families childbirth skills went into their births and enriched their experience.

But these two systems had one really fatal flaw ... they wanted to reduce the use of medical care and increase natural birth. Sounds good but in reality, this has had a huge unintended negative consequence. It set one birth against another as though a 'natural' birth was superior to a 'medical' birth.

This is flawed thinking because the birth of our children is always, always special and should be respected and valued as such.

But anyway, I'm trying to get to my point about what is happening now. There isn't just a change in finances, there has to be a change in everything we do and how we live on this planet.

We have programs on TV like SuperNanny that clearly show how lovely families don't have the skills to have a happy family. She teaches 'skills' but they have to be learned and used.

We have programs about weight loss to help people become inspired by the hard work and skills to lose and maintain weight loss. But, you have to learn them and do the work.

We have Dr. Phil who helps families (both men and women) to find better ways to live but once again, you have to learn the skills and use them.

Here's where The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® comes in. It's the only childbirth education, childbirth preparation, childbirth skills resource that is inclusive of all births just because pregnancy precedes giving birth.

Once you are pregnant you cannot avoid giving birth. Since the birth of each of our children is important then we all need the right skills to do the activity of getting our baby out of our body.

And men? ... Well you put them in there, now help get them out.

We're standing on a brink. If we don't change our attitude then within a generation most babies could be born by a surgical birth. That doesn't make the birth less special, it makes it a major surgical procedure. That's sort of like going into debt rather than saving because it's just easier.

Birth is not complex but sometimes health issues require medical care. That shouldn't stop you from enjoying preparing your body for birth (and know that this is an essential part of being pregnant). Nor should any reason stop you from learning skills that both of you can use to help your baby come out of your body ... even during a surgical procedure.

But once you are skilled then you are more likely to reduce all the common medical interventions ... just like you can reduce many common chronic diseases by being more fit or have a happier family by knowing how to parent or partner.

Here are our Pink Kit childbirth statistics. These come from families who have self-learned and then used their Pink Kit skills in whatever birth they had. But there's something not shown in the statistics. Those families who had lots of medical care felt better about their birth experiences because they 'birthed better' in and around all the health care they needed.

In other words, it's never been an issue about health care the problem in childbirth is a fundamental lack of skills! That can and should change and that is what Common Knowledge Trust works toward every single day ... to grow a skilled birthing population.

Pink Kit childbirth skills AND induction

2009-04-19T16:55:00.001+12:00

19 April 2009

A dad sent us a story the other day. He and his wife had gone through and learned their pink kit skills. They were keen to use them at their birth. They had planned a natural birth in their local hospital.

Well, she went several weeks over their due date and eventually agreed to an induction. The induction was quite gentle and they were using their skills very well.

Their obstetrician came in after several hours and didn't feel the woman was progressing quickly enough so she turned up the IV.

This kicked in very intense contractions. This dad said that his wife just lost the plot and started to cry. He said he was floored and didn't really know what to do. The skills went out the window.

He then said that he just couldn't sit around an do nothing. He told his wife that they had to use their pink kit skills right now! And they did.

They just focused on each other and how to use every single moment of their time applying one or more of their Pink Kit skills.

No they didn't like how intense the induction was but that was what was happening! In fact, they were having a very intense labour they didn't like and didn' t think was necessary. They were angry with their obstetrician but chose to spend absolutely no amount of time dwelling on that.

Instead they used their skills and after the birth were elated by their ability to cope with what was frankly unpleasant.

There is no doubt that there are other childbirth education systems BUT all of them are trying to achieve 'natural' births and to reduce medical intervention. The techniques they teach tend to fail or not be used once the birth becomes more medical.

The Pink Kit skills always work when you use them because they are skills and not techniques.

This dad told a great Pink Kit birth story! Bravo!

Pink Kit Childbirth Education Venture Philanthropy

2009-04-17T16:12:00.001+12:00

17 April 2009

I've recently listened to a radio program about Venture Philanthropy and thought 'what a wonderful idea'.

Instead of Venture Capital ... money used to get innovative ideas into a sellable form with a huge return for the money given, why not promote the ability of people to offer their skills and expertise to innovative ideas within the not-for-profit sector?

Hum ... does that make sense? Here's an example. I was chatting to a woman who is involved with New Zealand's Grey Power. She had also heard the same radio discussion and has an interest in getting Grey Power members to list their skills and interests.

She gave me her email address and I sent her an email listing the skills Common Knowledge Trust needs in order to totally re-do The Pink Kit package.

We've always known we have an imperfect resource. Most expectant parents who purchase and use The Pink Kit Package forgive it's presentation because the childbirth skills are so vitally important to learn and use.

However, we'd love to have a wonderful resource that is totally enjoyable for mothers and fathers-to-be to use in the privacy of their own homes. This woman with whom I spoke had an interest in teaching younger people to cook ... so there are references to that as analogies to growing a skilled birthing population.

So here is the list of Venture Philanthropy we need:

Written material:

Good editor: ... there will be two parallel products: The rewrite that I'm working on now that will be about 45 separate stand-alone yet interconnected resources that we'll sell online if we are able to redo the whole thing. And to edit the material that will go into the hardcopy book which will come from the above 45 + resources minus anything that really should be in a new visual.

illustrator/graphics: ... body illustration, cover design for all 45+ resources and final hard copy design for the multi-media resource.

Visuals:

computer generated graphics ... sophisticated in 3-dimensional and rotational graphics about body/pregnancy/birth. We'll guide the process but we don't have the software expertise.

filming/editing: ... If we have any real life shots ... perhaps presenter.

Marketing:

PR ... Press releases, radio interviews, magazine articles ...

we have to shift the conversation from the oppositional approach to childbirth and talk about pregnancy as the time to prepare to do the activity of giving birth. In NZ the conversation could be around balancing the Partnership and the role of both mothers and fathers-to-be.
We also have to get away from the belief that there is no way to know what your birth will be like (yes, true) therefore there is nothing you can do (not true) Birth will unfold and we need the skills to work through the proces.
We also have to get away from the belief that one birth is better than another because one is 'natural' while the other is 'medical'. This produces shame, blame and guilt. Instead we have to focus on 'birthing better' in whatever birth we have as a family. Birth is always an activity.
We also have to move away from a belief that birth is just a natural physiological process that we should just assume our instinct/intuition will carry us through. 100% of women do get through birth but in reality very few women know how-to give birth and fewer men know how-to meaningfully help.
We have come to accept 'getting through' is NOT the best it will get.
Also birth used to be connected to suffering. The modern maternity system continues to try to reduce suffering. Birth without any medical care in developing countries is both safe and very unsafe but more important the childbirth discussion in most modern countries lies with a belief that this physiological process should not be connected to our human brain. In your desire to teach people to cook you know that hunger is also a natural physiological urge that leads to a need to eat but humans do not have a built in ability to instinctively/intuitively know what foods are safe or poisonous OR how-to cook.

Our Trust wants to raise the awareness that preparing for birth is essential, learning skills to do the activity is vital and using the skills is appropriate in whatever birth you have ... because each of us can birth better when we are skilled.

Distributor ... We need to get into bookstores in english speaking countries.

translators ... Once we redo the whole thing we need to translate the whole multi-media resource.

course designers .... We have an opportunity to create online self-doing courses. We also have a trial with a childbirth educator in Nelson who is loaning a PKPackage to all couples attending the hospital ante-natal classes. The 6 ten minute Pink Kit sampler must be written better so our Trust could license that to other cbes worldwide. We also need to develop a short presentation that midwives, doulas can offer expectant parents AND something that can be used by wholesalers who want to invite families to a 1-2 hour presentation and sell the resources. AND we want to produce a simpler resource that can be translated in multiple languages and given to expectant families through clinics in developing countries.

Computer:

Someone to do internet research ... social network sites; how to get grandparents to give this resource to their expectant children/grandchildren; research some software and teach us how to use some of those (we'll explain further); keyword/phrase searches.

Article writing and submission ... using our material to write some articles and submit them to article sites online as well as press releases.

Macintosh user who can help me create more websites

Google analytics ... someone who can help us set up Google analytics tracking software and testing.

That seems like a bit. We're well down the road to becoming the one childbirth education/information/preparation/skills method that includes all pregnancy/childbirth because that's common sense and can replace the present trend that actually implies that one type of birth is better than another.

So if you have time and energy to help a New Zealand charitable not-for-profit to change the world please come on board. We need your expertise but we can't pay. After all what is money? It's a form of exchange for skills and services (excluding 'things'). However, venture philanthropy is all about giving your skills and services rather than being paid for them.

The Pink Kit childbirth education a household name

2009-04-15T16:09:00.001+12:00

15 April 2009

Aunoushka is a childbirth educator/midwife in the home town of The Pink Kit.

For the past 18 months she, in conjunction with our local hospital decided that all couples attending the hospital ante-natal classes would be loaned a Pink Kit Package.

It's been very interesting for Aunoushka to present six very short Pink Kit samplers and try to encourage families to self learn from this resource and use their Pink Kit childbirth skills in whatever birth they have.

Because she's also a midwife many times she'll be in hospital when one of the couples is in labour. Frankly she's been a bit disappointed so far.

The midwives aren't encouraging the couples to use the skills.
The couples aren't self initiating their use.
In fact she finds that only 30% even bother to go through the multi-media Pink Kit package

Needless to say she has found this very frustrating. She and her husband loved The Pink Kit, learned the skills together and used the skills during the birth of their daughter. She's pregnant again and they are already refreshing their skills.

When she first started this trial she really didn't know what to expect. She agrees that couples are not coming early enough. To get the best results you should really start learning about 24 weeks.

Starting at 24 weeks gives you time to space out a bit, learn slowing and thoroughly. When left to the 32 weeks that most couples start attending the classes, it's just too late. They feel overwhelmed by having to learn a simple set of skills and they haven't been told my their birth provider that the skills are essential.

Just recently she discovered a bit more success and felt it had to do with a shift in her attitude, in how she was presenting the brief samplers and the tone in her voice when she explained how essential the skills are.

Recently she's also had a number of couples attend who are coming from the two midwives who collected our statistics. Because those midwives are pushing couples into doing the work, they come to class already invested in self learning.

What's the end result? She feels that within another year or two The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® will become a household name in our local area.

That's neat. Now we just have to get out into the bigger world.

Don't forget to contact us at info@commonknowledgetrust.com and learn how you can become part of this new approach to pregnancy and childbirth.

Pink Kit Method, Lamaze, Bradley and others

2009-04-13T16:03:00.002+12:00

13 April 2009

I discovered a curious thing the other day. When I put the key phrase into Google for 'childbirth education' http://www.birthingbetter.com is no where to be found. We're found in 'childbirth information', 'childbirth preparation' and 'childbirth skills'.

On the bottom of the page for 'childbirth education' there are 'related searches'. Two of those are Lamaze and The Bradley Method.

Somehow CKT has to figure out how we can show up as a 'related search' as something like:

Pink Kit childbirth
Pink Kit Method
Pink Kit birth education
Pink Kit birth preparation

I wish I understood how Google decides to put 'related search' at the bottom?

Hum.... eventually we'll be found that way.

PinkKitPregnancy on Twitter

2009-04-11T16:00:00.003+12:00

11 April 2009

I've managed to install us on Twitter as http://www.twitter.com/PinkKitPregnancy ... or I think that's the right url!

I've spent the past 4 years doing internet marketing courses but I still have trouble with software.

Twitter is a bit confusing. When I go to 'find people' and put in 'pregnancy' about 13 entries come up but not ours. When I go to 'advanced search' and put in 'pregnancy and childbirth' we are also not found. So curious.

Turning my attention to change

2009-03-31T16:37:00.002+13:00

31 March 2009

There is no doubt that change is in the air. Even in New Zealand I am able to watch Oprah when inclined ... although a bit delayed. Suzie Orman was on the show explaining to people the need to consolidate their finances, pay off debt and save for the long term. She mentioned that the years of over indulgence has gone.

Actually I was most influenced by Your Money Or Your Life which had the most profound change in how I viewed my finances. It was based on one's own ethics and desires, dreams and the meaning of your life rather than budgeting.

I've spread the word about this book for years to anyone who talks about money and the difficulties so many people have ... just because it flows through the fingers in such a subconscious manner. Your Money Or Your Life helped me (and my children) to value their life's energy and how that is spent over 'time' and how that converts into money and its use.

That system rang true to me because I've been so involved in bringing forth a consciousness about birth that is entirely different than the trend thinking that has been tied to childbirth for the past 40 years.

Recently on Oprah she was talking to a woman about being conscious about food and eating. Here is one simple word 'conscious' and yet this woman and Oprah use that word differently.

Her guest said that she ‘ate consciously’. Oprah asked her to define that term. For her guest it meant being aware of how her food was grown and what was in products. Oprah had an ‘Ah Ha’ moment. To her being ‘conscious’ about food was to make certain she chewed well and made choices about how much she ate. Same word but very different behaviors!

Childbirth is sort of like both the consciousness you'll discover in Your Money Or Your Life and the consciousness expressed by both Oprah and her guest. In the analogy of childbirth, her guest would be all about 'conscious choice' in regards to Birth Plans. Oprah would be using her consciousness to determine what her behavior was as she ate.

Both are good and go together. Mostly in childbirth the emphasis is on the first ... The Birth Plan and nothing on the second ... your behavior much less the behavior of your partner as a father-to-be.

Your Money Or Your Life incorporates both. While your Pink Kit Package focuses exclusively on how you use your life's energy (Time) during the activity of giving birth and to do that in a 'conscious' manner.

If you are pregnant now then you will give birth one day and you will have one of these three birth types:

• You will labour then have a vaginal delivery.
• You will labour and then have a surgical delivery.
• You will not labour and have a surgical delivery.

If you are planning a VBAC or vaginal birth after a Caesarean you will still end up with one of these three births.

They all share one fundamental similarity that can never be avoided. All three types of birth take time. Time has so many dimensions.

Gosh, we just let Time pass us by.
Golly, we fill Time by doing something.

In reality we are always doing something whether we are conscious of that fact or not. The only difference between these two ways of passing Time is our choice to be mindful or not. During the activity of giving birth either you will feel that birth happened to you or you feel you worked with it.

We are living through a very exciting time of change. Change is not always pleasant. However, if we use every moment of that Time to consciously choose our behaviors, tone of voice, how we spend our hard earned money and how we prepare for and give birth then we will feel more empowered and in control over our own life.

Plastic Packaging Petition

2009-03-28T08:30:00.003+13:00

28 March 2009

Given the state of the world I'm about to go off task. Just like with the Victory Bonds for Eco-Recovery, I'm about to recommend that we find a way to petition the US Federal government (and your country as well!) that requires one-off or infrequent use plastics to be made of bio-content materials.

Think about it. We could easily replace these things with corn starch, potato starch, cellulose, sugar cane by-product. These could then be composted easily. If you have an interest in this then contact me at wintergreen at birthingbetter.com.

picnic supplies
packaging found on purchases in department stores such as Kmart, Wall-mart, Target, Warehouse
packaging found around fruit, vegetables, meats and packaged foods in supermarkets
styrofoam and packaging peanuts
fast food containers

There is no doubt that regulation is a requirement when business does not yet take ethical responsibility to the environment.

In childbirth there is a great deal of emphasis placed on a woman's 'choice'. Do you ever wonder what that means?

The implication is that women will naturally choose a natural birth or one with less medical intervention. Yet in New Zealand where Common Knowledge Trust exists and where we produce The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® resources are produced women are choosing elective Caesareans.

Choice is either respected going in any direction or there has to be guidance about the choices being made.

As regards the environment, we must change what we are doing if our children and grandchildren are going to survive on this planet. We don't have a choice any longer to be careless.

We've moved well beyond 'sustainability' and now must respond with ecological recovery. One way to do that is to require all one-off or infrequent use products or packaging to be made of bio-materials that bio-degrade.

Remember 'eco' is in both 'ecology' and 'economics' so those things are compatible. They just need to come together.

Financial Crisis and childbirth

2009-03-27T09:38:00.002+13:00

27 March 2009

What is happening world wide is important although not pleasant. People in the modern world have spent the past 150 years trying to make life easier and wanting to own lots and lots of things.

What has this done to all of us? We've become spoiled. I'm presently listening to National Radio in New Zealand about a US father of two who discovered that they were living well beyond their means. He and his family have made lots of necessary changes.

He talks about spending on 'discretionary' things such as eating out, a cup of coffee a day and lots of clothes.

Hopefully many of you are not cutting down on paying for your health insurance! You must keep that up.

But having health insurance also removes a level of responsibility from you. You believe if you have a health need, the cost should be covered. Yes, that's true. But childbirth is a bit different!

Childbirth is not an illness although you might have health issues during pregnancy and even in birth.

The Pink Kit Package is designed for you to:

Prepare your pregnant body to give birth.
Learn the skills (both you as a woman and you as a father-to-be) so you can work with your baby's efforts to be born.
Know how-to use these skills in whatever birth you have on the day.

You have the power when you work through this incredible resource to help reduce the cost of medical maternity care.

Every birth that is straight forward (even when you or your baby has health issues) saves YOU money!

Every birth that leaves you feeling positive because you birthed better saves YOUR emotional wellbeing and limits shame, blame and guilt.

If you buy only one resource for yourself or your loved one as a baby shower gift ... then you need to buy The Pink Kit Package. It's equal to the cost of 2 tanks of gas or one month of lattes.

Going Back To Basics About Childbirth

2009-03-26T09:09:00.002+13:00

26 March 2009

There are 4 Types of birth:

One thing is absolutely certain and guaranteed. Once you are pregnant you will give birth within the year. There is no way to avoid that. At the end of your pregnancy you will have one of these three types of birth. There are no other options:

Labour and then a vaginal delivery.
Labour and then an ‘emergency Caesarean’.
A non-labouring planned Caesarean.

If you plan a vaginal delivery after a previous Caesarean then you will end up with one of the above three.

It does not matter whether you are planning a natural birth or a medical one.

What do all of these share in common?

It's quite simple ... every birth is an activity. You have to do it. We offer the skills for you to do this activity very well.

More than that, you get to enjoy learning these skills during pregnancy. On top of that, you get to help your baby be born by preparing your body to let it out. Then the highlight is your ability to always use your skills in any of those three births.

What a great idea?

But there's more .... your partner gets the skill to help you too and enjoy learning them then using them.

Together you can work with your baby's efforts to be born in whatever birth you have.

This is why you need to get The Pink Kit Package or give it as a gift to someone you know who is expecting.

You will birth better.

Are You Really Serious About Changing Childbirth?

2009-03-24T15:13:00.002+13:00

24 March 2009

What a bizarre title to this post! You are not responsible for changing 'Childbirth' ... that's a big ask.

You are responsible for your birth. If you are a care provider, you are not responsible for another woman's birth experience ... she is and so is her partner.

The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® has grown since the 1970s yet only been a publicly available resource since 2001.

When the concept of growing a skilled birthing and coaching population was put forth, it was ridiculed by childbirth advocates ... both in the natural birth movement and medical model.

Why should a great concept be ridiculed? Well the Natural Birth Movement laughed at the concept because:

Isn't birth so natural that women don't need to be taught how to give birth?
Once women have the choice of a continuity of care midwife and home birth and rejects medical care (unless necessary) then birth will be natural.
Women don't need to be told what to do, they are mothers and intuitively know what's best for her baby.

The medical model laughed because:

Too many Birth Plans fail.
There's no way to know what your birth will be like therefore there's no way to prepare for it.
If a woman (and her partner) wants to do anything that's their choice.

Years down the road, The Pink Kit Method stopped being ridiculed and then was violently opposed.

Why should that happen?

The medical model opposed the concept that women could learn how to give birth because:

There's no way to know what a birth will be like so there is nothing you can do. It's out of your control.
If women and men are skilled they will take unreasonable risks.
There's no sense in getting a woman's hope up that she'll have a 'natural' birth when she already has health issues that require medical care.

The Natural Birth Movement violently opposed the concept that society needs to expect a skilled birthing population because:

Birth is natural, cats are taught to birth women don't need to be. Women breathe all the time and will breathe in labour ... what's there to learn?
Birth is an individual experience and one thing does not fit everyone.
The reason birth is the way it is has to do with the medical profession that puts fear into women when birth is fundamentally a safe part of a healthy woman's life.

So, where are we now?

Close to the third stage where the concept of having expectant parents:

Prepare their pregnant body to give birth (because 100% of pregnant women will give birth and pregnancy will make a transition to giving birth without exception).
Learn both birthing and coaching skills so that you can work together through this activity of giving birth ... whether medical or natural and inclusive of having a non-labouring Caesarean.
Use their birth and coaching skills to work with their baby's efforts to be born because doing so brings you closer together, fills the time-frame of this activity, works in absolutely all births AND essential to your new activity of being a parent.

This process is nothing new.

"All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." -Schoepenhouer

What is your role in all of this?

If you're pregnant you need the birth and coaching skills for yourself as both a mother and father-to-be just as you need the complex skills you taught yourself to drive. Without them what would happen if you took a journey (another activity) and didn't know how-to drive?

If you're a birth professional then you absolutely must want to see more women cope, manage, deal with and handle labour pains as a skilled woman rather than just get by and get through birth. Because you see lots of births you absolutely know how many women don't know how-to birth. Your attitude makes a difference. You know that women who feel good about their birth are more ready to parent. AND you absolutely must want men to know how to help more than what you are seeing now. You know that couples who work together are more likely to stay together.

Let's all uplift childbirth to an activity that deserves a high level of skills. If we don't intuitively know what foods are safe or poisonous even though hunger is a natural physiological process then let's acknowledge that birth and coaching skills can be self learned and used in every birth situation.

Together let's imagine a world in which every single mother-to-be feels enjoys taking time during her pregnancy to prepare her body, learn skills that will work in every type of birth then use those skills in whatever birth unfolds ... including cesareans ... Why not?

Together let's imagine a world in which every single father-to-be also enjoys helping his partner prepare her pregnant body to let out a big object (his child), learn the skills to help her do this activity (and build her confidence in him) and use those coaching skills in whatever birth unfolds.

Together we can change childbirth.

Something entirely different .... Margaret Atwood

2009-03-22T17:31:00.002+13:00

22 March 2009

Sometimes something SO important accidentally comes into your life that you absolutely must pass it on.

Please find and listen to Margaret Atwood's 5 part talk on DEBT ... 2008 Massey University CBC series.

In the last talk, she mentioned an idea that must be passed on .... Victory Bonds that finance Eco-Recovery.

Tell everyone, pass it on. What a wonderful idea. I would definitely invest and I've sent that information on to some of Obama's websites.

Let's invest in Recovery!

Pink Kit Stories Keep Coming

2009-03-21T14:32:00.002+13:00

This is an enquiry e-mail via http://www.birthingbetter.com from:
21 March 2009

We received this email today from a woman who met Wintergreen two years ago. Here's her story and our response.

Hi Wintergreen
My name is Melissa. I am a friend of J.M. We met close to 2 years ago at a lovely house in La Jolla, CA.

I do not know if you remember me. Anyhow I have some feedback about the pink kit. The packaging looks different I was wondering if any of the content was changed? If so what was changed?

I want to tell you. I personally love the realness of the pink kit. Thanks to you I can hold my head up high when I talk about my birth. It was such an empowering experience.

I find myself telling every pregnant person about the pink kit, friends, relatives and strangers. Sadly, I just don't feel like it is enough. I would really like to share this information with more people. Do you have a teacher's program or do you know of any way I can help spread this knowledge faster?

Thank you, Melissa

This is our response.

Great story ... you'll find it on our blog shortly with first names only.

What is your partner's name? I remember speaking to two or three of you guys but I'll be damned if I remember your face ... send a photo.

Also if you do Facebook, we've just put up a page and you can add comments and if you do other social networking sites then tell everyone! If you do forums, chat rooms ... anything on the internet spreads the word as fast as lightening. So, that's one avenue that never ends.

When we met what did I tell everyone? Do this for yourselves! That's why we have this resource (same in new packaging but without the hard copy book ... we ran out!).

The PKPackage is your teacher.

But you want to do something and that's why we have wholesale accounts. You can register and purchase 3-20 PKPs and receive 25% discount or over 20 and get a 40% discount. There is also a sales flier you can print off and hang up everywhere.

We want people like yourself to get this resource out there for sure and believe it or not you will do much better selling it or getting stores to carry it than trying to teach it. This is the primary reason: when you sell it, it can go to anyone.

We don't quite have a sales Powerpoint yet but we do have a PP on Slideshare that you can download and get couples together to tell them why they have to do the work themselves.

Your message is well defined from your own experience ... do the work yourself and you get the benefits. Over 40 years we know if The PK is taught, families don't bother. That's the reality so ...

We want you to get involved but just help you think differently. And think about this. There are 3,680,000 births in the US/year ... having all types of birth. The only thing that all pregnant families have in common is that 100% will give birth. That means The PKPackage is for all pregnant families just because they all will give birth.

You can advertise, write articles, talk to people, tell them your story and why self learning was so important to you and your partner. When you have the resource available people purchase. Puts sales fliers up in stores, talk on the radio, write articles for magazines or newspapers. Go talk to other groups and take the PKP with you.

Please feel free to contact me directly and discuss everything that's in your mind. Did you have a boy or girl? Name? Photo?

If you decide to register just to to www.birthingbetter.com and look at top menu for 'wholesalers' and there is a registration. That permits you to order online and get your discount right away after you get confirmation of the registration.

The whole world is open for you to get this around!

I'll be in the US from June onward for a year in Oregon.

Great to hear these stories. They are important. You are important and we want you to join your energy with ours. The more people who get this resource into communities the more the word will spread.

if you have other friends who want to have a stream of income then let them know. People with websites can join our affiliate program, put our banner up and get a 15% commission on click through sales and another 10% of click through sales if they sign up other websites .... we ship.

So, absolutely. How can we help you get started?

Pilates AND Pink Kit breathing

2009-03-19T09:27:00.003+13:00

18 March 2009

We received an email today from a family using The Pink Kit Package. The pregnant woman said:

'The breathing reminds me little of Pilates'

This is the Pink Kit response.

With Pilates the goal is to have a very strong core. This is good! In fact, after birth Pilates is wonderful to do.

So the below comments are not anti-Pilates but just highlighting the difference in the breathing and the profound difference in the goal.

If you're pregnant now and doing Pilates then must also learn your Pink Kit breathing and understand why you want to change both your breathing and your awareness of what you're doing inside your pelvis.

The Pink Kit breathing ... in all it's forms is used to create space, soften, open and relax inside your pelvis.

To understand this you must first thing ask yourself this question. Do you think that pulling up on your perineum will help or hinder getting something the size of a grapefruit down through your pelvis and out of your crotch? The answer is absolutely ... you hinder your baby's efforts to be born if you have, create or store tension inside your body.

One father thought during their first pregnancy that his wife had to have 'strong' muscles to push out their baby (she had a c/s). Once they went over the PKP he realized that concept was absolutely wrong and what she needed to do was open up and let her baby out. In order to do that she had to learn to soften and relax!

So Pilates breathing is good for after the birth to re-strengthen your core, put your hips right and all the soft tissue inside your perineum but that intentional tensing up and drawing up is terrible for birth preparation or giving birth.

So, your Pink Kit skills are specific for preparing your pregnant body to give birth ... whether a natural birth or a medical one.

If you are planning a Caesarean delivery without a labour you can just totally enjoy preparing your body for the birth of your baby.

We should all enjoy doing this in the right manner and feel confident about the skills.

Who Says A Planned Caesarean Can't Be A Great Birth With Your Pink Kit Skills?

2009-03-13T13:17:00.001+13:00

13 March 2009

We received this email from a woman who was planning a hospital birth but was really very anti-medical. She used The Pink Kit Package to prepare her pregnant body and learned the skills but she desperately wanted a home birth.

Her friend had had a previous Caesarean but in her last pregnancy had gotten hold of a Pink Kit Package and had prepared even though she knew she would have another Caesarean.

'My friend had a previous c-section and knew she would probably have one again, but she had such a positive attitude to it. She wanted to be in labour as long as she could, to give herself and the baby that experience, using the PK skills.

She stayed at home as long as she could, then had the c-section at ____ Hospital. She had a really great experience and was the one who instilled in me a positive feeling towards hospital birth. That really helped me, as so many stories are of disempowered experiences'.

Tell Your Friends About The Pink Kit

2009-03-11T14:57:00.001+13:00

11 March 2009

You can now send an email to up to 10 friends or relatives to tell them about The Pink Kit. Just go to http://www.birthingbetter.com and find 'Tell Your Friends' on the right side menu.

Spread the word. That's how we're going to grow a skilled birthing population.

Think 'relative'. You could be changing the world just as though insightful people realized when they decided that everyone who wants to drive a car has to have the same set of complex skills, prove they can use them appropriately and then use them whenever they are behind the wheel of a car.

Imagine what the world would be like without those shared skills. Pregnancy is shared by every woman and partner/family who is pregnant because 100% of pregnancies will transform into a birthing experience therefore, every pregnant woman and her partner should self-learn the appropriate skills.

Birth is that driving test. It's a one shot deal and you can't repeat it the next day.

My Response

2009-03-09T00:33:00.002+13:00

9 March 2009

My response to Monika. The only issue facing The Pink Kit Package is that families do not know they need to seriously prepare the pregnant body to give birth, learn skills then use them to work with their baby's efforts to be born. This has to change but it can't change without your help.

Hi Monika:

How nice to hear from you. Where in the bush are you? The fires there have been so horrific and I hope you are far away.

Thank you for looking through the imperfect material we have now and I hope .... as is ... you will consider becoming a wholesaler as you go around the country with your products. We tell people it's imperfect in presentation and full of the skills they need. There are many 'old fashioned' things that still wow.

You bring up many issues. Here's what's happening since we met.

What's happening now:

1) I'm re-writing all the written material now so that if we never re-do the whole thing than the written material will at least be vastly improved.

2) My daughter's husband who has a master's degree in film is going to spend the next three months going over the re-written draft, visuals and audio and he'll take out of the written material what should go into the new visuals and write a story board for that ... hoping we'll eventually raise funds to re-do the whole thing.

3) I'm speaking to a publisher mid march to discuss the project.

4) I hope to meet up with the new Minister of health in the next few weeks. There was an article in The Listener called Birth ... the kiwi way (or something like that) which dealt with the same old, same old issues.

5) We're creating 6 'commercial intent' websites such as: gift for ... baby shower, expectant mother, expectant father-to-be. We hope to create 20 commercial intent mini sites that just sell The PK in US$.

6) We've done the research for 100 online bookstores and there's a woman who will fill out applications with the hopes as is, it will be sold on some of those sites.

Whether people will do it:

1) People don't know they need to so this is all about 'education' and helping people connect pregnancy to birth in a way that is no yet connected. In other words, people are more focused on 'choice' or lack of around birth rather than the fact that they will birth no matter what and therefore they need to prepare the pregnant body to give birth, learn the birth and coaching skills and use them in whatever birth they have.

2) Andrea Vincent, the midwife here (80 births/year), found that 30% are immediately keen. She thought the PK didn't work if only 30% were interested but that's actually a large number. Now 85% of her clients work through the resource (she had to change her attitude) and do use the skills in whatever birth they have. 5% absolutely won't and 10% say they do but it's obvious during birth they haven't because the women aren't coping well and the fathers aren't helping. The goal has to be (from the care provider view point) that more women cope, manage, behave, act and handle birth better and more fathers help them do so. The goal from an expectant family's viewpoint has to be ... birth is an activity that we need skills to do well so we can have positive memories of what we've done for ourselves no matter what happens to us or around us. This is all education.

3) Given that there are 3,680,000 births each year in the US, we only need to capture a .01% or less. There are 700,000 births in the UK. We don't need a big market, we just need to be in the market!

The midwifery community

1) These skills will never be about them. In fact, our target market are families having hospital births with staff midwives or obstetrical nurses. Our product has always been used by the most conservative people in the most common of birth situations. We have a history of reaching people that neither the 'natural birth or midwifery movement' reaches. Most families do not have access to continuity of care midwifery and no one really has defined 'natural' birth except to say it's a birth without medical intervention. But many Pink Kit families have wonderful 'medical' births and we want to reach that market.

New resource:

1) if there is no funding to redo the whole thing then the new written material will be about 40 short resources that address specific aspects of self learning. EAch resource is written for both mothers and fathers-to-be. EAch resource hopefully will have 'quick' do, 'learn more', 'go deeper' but this is proving harder to do than I thought.

2) I've completed the 2nd draft of 11 out of 40 new 'chapters'. At the moment it looks as though it is cheaper to continue with the resource as a PDF so people can read which resources they want. however, not having a book means we can not hope to get into bookstores.

3) If we raise the funds to re-do it then you're absolutely right, we're aiming for a visual+ Birth Journey(CD), dump Internal work into visuals and all the rest of the body knowledge/breath/language/touch as well.

Funds:

There will be no efforts to try funding bodies. The money has to come from individuals, or they may know skilled people who will help and be paid later.

I developed these skills with thousands of families in the 1970s. I have no scientific background, never took anatomy/physiology ... didn't want to know or confuse what we were doing with the medical profession (including the midwifery profession). Everything we learned was on our bodies and nothing more than that and that's why it's 'right' ... we can all feel the same thing. I've been doing this now close to 40 years and I'll continue as long as necessary to at least get it ready to be re-done. every single small donation helps. We stash it away for when we can re-do it.

So, if you know people who want to donate small amounts then let them know. if every midwife (2000) in NZ donated $100 it could be completed within 18 months and they would get a new resource and be able to purchase in the future for 50% off retail.

We're already off the starting block. When I met jenny in 1991 and mistakenly shared these skills with her and another australian woman who works as a midwife, I didn't believe I'd get this far so I'm not afraid of where we are or where we are going. Once again, think Jenny is a lovely woman and it was my mistake that I have to live with.

As I said to you in my earlier emails, because I don't have a political charge on childbirth, I am the best person to bring forward the concept that all births should have skills attached to the activity. Every woman and every man can benefit from knowing how to work with their baby's efforts to be born. That should just be the societal message then you would see real change in childbirth.

Imagine 8 out of 10 women really handling birth in a very skilled manner whether medical/natural/hospital or home because she prepared her body to let out a very big object.

Imagine a woman having a planned c/s enjoying her pregnancy, preparing and using her skills during surgery and recovery.

Imagine men finally knowing how to help in whatever birth unfolds for his family and having a place beside his partner with skills that lead toward feeling confident as a father.

So, if you ever feel inspired to take another step toward the Pink Kit re-do then please come forward.

Anyway, thank you with deep kindness for spending time with The Pink Kit Package.

With all care to you and your work

Wintergreen, trustee

Looking Through The Pink Kit Package

2009-03-07T00:30:00.001+13:00

7 March 2009

On 3/03/2009, at 2:52 PM, Monika Boenigk wrote:

Dear Wintergreen,

Greetings from the bush. I have studied all your material and thought about it all a lot, on and off. I think the concept is brilliant and I can see the incredible benefits. Your understanding of the physiology and also how you bring it across are mostly fantastic.

Of course, I have some suggestions of how to improve the presentation, but I am sure you know all those already, it is just a matter of having the money to realise its potential.

Remains one big concern...whether a substantial enough part of the mainstream people out there will be able/willing/motivated to absorb the HUGE amount of data in a rapidly time-poor world to justify the financial investment in the project of potential sponsors/financiers. No question of its benefits, you don't need to convince me! But held against the monumental effort required for users to get to the benefits, I am just not sure...

Battling against ignorance and small-mindedness in the midwifery community myself, I understand how difficult it is to bring a good idea to fruition (and get some return for the mental-emotional and financial investment) and don't envy your crusade. I don't have the answers, except that things need to be delivered in a manner that is practical, do-able, VERY uncomplicated and "quick". But that, as we both well know, jeopardises the ultimate desired benefits.

If you had a team of VERY CLEVER people to work with whom you trust, who fully understand the program, perhaps it would be possible to condense the program to a 1 CD/1 DVD kit plus one proper, comprehensive book. In my view, the two (media/book) should be able to be used independently from each other, rather than having to work with both at the same time. The book being the "long version", the media kit the short, sweet version. That way, you'd harness both the "thorough and the quick" market out there. This may make it also more palatable to a potential funding body. They need to be able to "get their head around" your message. If they are overwhelmed with the project, you won't get out of the starting blocks.

Ideally, one would have the funds to make a fantastic short, 5-10 min trailer clearly spelling out the benefits, and showing some of the "technique, in order to enthuse sponsors. If they can "get' it, funding is much more likely to be forthcoming.

Well, so much for now. I so hope you have the inspiration and support to move forward!

Best,
Monika

www.birthrite.com.au

Next post has my reply. But read the previous post and ask yourself whether Monika's statement about personal responsibility is really the issue? We think not.

Another Pink Kit Story

2009-03-06T00:26:00.002+13:00

5 March 2009

This was received from Anna tonight:

Hello Wintergreen.

It's been nine months since my baby was born and I've been meaning to write and let you know how it went. After I did the course with you years ago, I though I had a pretty good grip on the information. But with my daughters birth I still really struggled. This time round I had the most awesome time I could have ever imagined. Jordan was born in nelosn Hospital.

My midwife over here was worried about me being two weeks overdue, and sent me to get induced. Luckily I went into labour before they got to me. It was the first time I had gone into labour with the baby in an anterior position, and it was SO MUCH easier than posterior. I felt so confident in my self, my body etc. I had done 10 weeks of internal work, and really had myself well prepared.

As soon as I got to the hospital, I decided "this is as good a place as any to have a baby" and just relaxed and let my body do it's thing. I thought about what you'd said, that if things are progressing, it doesn't matter what position you are in, so feeling sure things were progressing well, I decided to lie on my side and just relax. Each time a contraction came i focused on the pelvic clock visualisation and it really helped. When i forgot to do it, i felt as though things were hurting, then I reminded myself to do the pelvic clock thing, and the pain would go away.

At about when I felt i was in transition i wanted to have my leg lifted up while on my side,with my leg bent, which felt like a variation of the pelvic tilt. I just asked for my leg to be moved however it felt most comfortable and this seemed to help.

At almost full dilation(i checked myself) it felt like i had an anterior lip, so i decided to just chill out for a while, and do the pelvic clock exercise to see if i could focus on getting that anterior part of my cervix to relax. I think I got a bit too relaxed as after a while my midwife told me she thought that maybe I should sit up and push my baby out. I did sit up, but didn't want to push, or force the baby to come out. I didn't need to anyway. In two contractions I felt him moving through my pelvis, and announced that the baby was coming out now. I reached down, and out he came, into the bath and I pulled him up to my chest.

What delighted me so much was that i was not sore at all after the birth. It did not feel like I'd just had a 4.6kg(10lb 2oz)baby. I wasn't at all tired and went back home after a few hours and was totally happy and pround of myself. This time I really felt like I "got it"

and it is just so satisfying. Thank you so much for sharing this "common knowledge" with me and the world. I'd love to hear from you,

Lots of love, Anna

That about says it all.

For those of you who sometimes read this blog ... please get more pro-active about getting The Pink Kit Package out into your community or at least donate so we can re-do the whole resource into a more contemporary package.

Australian Midwifery Expo 5-7 November, 2008

2008-12-03T12:00:00.002+13:00

3 December 2008

It's been a long time since I wrote in the blog. Here's the link to the talk I gave as keynote speaker at the Australian Midwifery Expo in Brisbane.

Also here's the link to the new sale's flyer for all our wholesalers.

What's happening in the world?

What if the medical profession decided that birth was 'natural' and more women just had to suck it up and cope with the pain? Doctors and midwives KNOW that the use of medical pain relief ... unless used to administer a medical procedure ... is to help women cope with the 'naturally' occurring pain.

What if the medical profession decided that reducing the cost of obstetrical care could be accomplished by not administering pain relief? Maybe that's far fetched but the world is in a BIG change right now. The projection by scientists is that by 2012, a boat will be able to sail through the ice on the north pole ... it's gone ... it's melted!

We're facing a dire future and we'd better have some sense of preparation for change.

What better way to change than having a families at least know how to prepare their pregnant body to let a big object out, learn the skills to work with the intense sensations as this big object (your baby) opens your body and then use the skills to work with your baby's efforts to come out of your body with as little trauma to either of you?

Let's get real and bring this new childbirth approach to our societal expectations.

You can do that by becoming a wholesaler or affiliate

Just For Fathers Having Their First Baby

2008-09-01T03:31:00.000+12:00

1 Sept 2008

First time fathers need all the help they can get

Whether your first baby is planned or not, you are pregnant and the future, ‘the birth’ and becoming a parent is right there in your face.
Life is dynamic but becoming a first time father is so full of the unknown and everyone’s opinion. Not only that, there is very little support for fathers in general, in a generally feminine area and especially for first time expectant fathers.

Where can a first time expectant father start? This article is really not about all the social factors of becoming a first time Dad, but rather on how you can help at ‘the birth’. For many months ‘the birth’ seems like a far off future event, but sometime around 24 weeks that all changes. As the belly gets bigger and bigger the Big Day comes closer and closer.

You’ll be faced with so many things to think about, and you might not feel particularly consulted. Preparing for childbirth is about the choices (or lack of) your partner has, her health issues, the Doctors or Midwives available, and your living or financial situation.

Encompassing all of these complex issues is your relationship to the mother of your child and your living situation. You might feel that you have very little control over any of this. However, ‘the birth’ is one area where you can not only have control, but also excel.

The woman goes through the birth experience and your Doctor or Midwife also does the birth. However, you will be expected to be there and help. You aren’t expected to help your Doctor or Midwife; however you are expected to help your partner.

Learning coaching skills is not only essential for first time fathers; it is the one stabilising thing that all first time fathers can focus on during all the confusion. You can learn coaching skills that are based on what you, as a man, share with women - our human body!

Childbirth is a very physical experience that occurs in our body. As a man you have the same number of bones and muscles as women. You blink, cough and can tense up your muscles the same way women can.
This means that you can learn a set of coaching skills that are based on what we all share in common - our body and how we use it. Birth is just a heightened experience of using our physical body.

But you need to practice these skills regularly for short periods of time every day. Once you know what type of relaxed breathing you want to help your partner achieve when she is feeling a lot of pain, then all you have to do is breathe in and out, one time, several times a day in that relaxed way.

Because we have the same body, if you breathe in a relaxed manner then another human being will do the same. You just need to learn how we breathe and how breathing changes during painful contractions. This is simple to learn, practice and do.

Once you learn breathing, relaxation and communication skills then you, as a first time father, will excel as a birth coach. Now some people will say that your job is to ‘support’ your partner. But let’s think about this word compared to ‘coach’. When you support someone you are there for them often holding their hand, giving a back rub and just hang around. However, a support person never really gives guidance like a coach would.

In your role as an expectant father, you must have an equal role as a parent. You are not just a support to her parenting. This means you need coaching skills during the birth to really help her cope with the natural occurring pain of contractions or during the surgery of a cesarean delivery.

Coaching is an action. It includes being there, providing support and guidance. This guidance is based on a shared set of birth skills that both you and your partner can learn together from 24 weeks of pregnancy such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation.

First time fathers can be excellent birth coaches once these skills are learned. Doctors and Midwives absolutely love to see a father really help during labour. This is your role, your job, so learn the coaching skills that give you confidence and the know-how.

This is all good because being a skilled birth coach during ‘the birth’ will work with and around all the assessments, monitoring and procedures your Doctor or Midwife will require. Keep working with your partner through one contraction after another or during the surgery of a cesarean.

You will feel more ready to be a parent when you have worked with your baby’s efforts to come out of your partner’s body rather than feel at the mercy of the experience.

Your First Pregnancy

2008-08-28T03:30:00.000+12:00

28 August 2008

First pregnancy – Help! What’s going to happen?

You’re having your first baby, now you are pregnant and looking toward the future – ‘the birth’ and becoming a parent.
Not many things in Life are so dynamic and full of the unknown and also full of everyone’s opinion.

This article is really about how to prepare for the birth of your first baby. Once you’ve gone past the first 3 months of pregnancy, moved into the 2nd trimester (2nd three months), you begin to not only think about ‘the birth’, you have already begun to research the possibilities.

Preparing for childbirth is not dependent on the choices (or lack of), your health issues, the Doctors or Midwives available, your living or financial situation or even how you feel about becoming a parent.

The reality of pregnancy is the same for all women. Once you are pregnant you will give birth, one way or another. You’ll have to sort out the practical things such as where or with whom you’ll birth. You’ll have to make decisions about what you would like at your birth such as pain relief, the ability to move around or a cesarean delivery.

You’ll also have to fit your whole life’s situation into the plans you make for the birth of your baby. All of this sounds like an awful lot to be doing and it is. Often all the choices, things to think about, the information to gather, the process of birth, what your Doctor or Midwife expects of you, or is offering, take a lot of time and sorting out.

No wonder so many first time mothers either feel they have to have a firm belief about ‘the birth’ or else decide to go along with their birth professionals’ recommendations. This period of pregnancy, usually from about 24 weeks on, is often filled with confusion.

Believe it or not confusion is good. Being in a state of confusion leads us to want to sort things out so we feel more comfortable.

So, let’s look at one door that can open to lead to confidence and a deep sense of being ready to give birth. That one door is your ability to prepare your birthing body and to learn birth skills such as breathing, relaxation, communicating well with your partner and keeping your body open to let your baby out.

Any birth, including a first birth, is actually an exercise in plumbing. Your body is a ‘container’ for your baby and during ‘the birth’ this object has to come out of your ‘container’. You can make that passage much easier, no matter whether you follow all the suggestions of your Doctor or Midwife or make your unique Birth Plans.

By learning birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, you take charge of what you can do for yourself during your first birth. You’ll still have to breathe. Your body will still be in some posture or position.

By learning birth skills, you’ll feel capable, confident and ready to meet the challenge of birth. More importantly, this sense of capability moves you out of confusion into a sense of being in control and being in control is all about having appropriate skills for any specific task.

This is all good because being skilled during ‘the birth’ can work with and around, all the assessments, monitoring and procedures that occur in birth. Not only that, but you will feel more ready to parent when you have worked with your baby’s efforts to come out of your body rather than feel at the mercy of the experience.