The Pink Teapot- A guide to Etiquette

A guide to using Facebook in a politically correct way

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 17:41:00 +0000

Over the past three plus years I have used Facebook as a way to reconnect with friends, keep in touch with people in my life, and share things that are personal to me in a convenient way; as well as to further my exposure to my blog. I think most people would agree that Facebook makes things easy for you to share...but maybe too easy?

I did a segment a while back on Studio 5 that talked about "Facebook Etiquette" but in an ever-changing social media climate, things become obsolete very quickly, however, having good manners doesn't- which makes my job a little easier.

A few tips on "Facebook Etiquette" if we can call it that (WARNING- opinions follow- not rules):

Be careful who you friend. A vast majority of people out there have good intentions, but some don't, so have a guideline. Mine is that I must have met them face to face and they must have been (or are currently) a part of my life somehow. You don't have to accept every friend request you get- be selective.
Everything can be shared. Even with the best of intentions and privacy settings, if a friend chooses to share something that they have access to on your wall, you can't control it. Bottom line is that you only have control over yourself.
Be genuine but don't over share. It's easy to write things on the end of a phone or computer when we don't have a physical audience of 600 people (or whatever your reach is on your FB profile). When sharing something, be aware that people can see it, people can talk about it, people can (and probably will) judge it- it's just the way our society works (unfortunately to some degree). There is nothing wrong with being genuine and sharing, but before you post- think to yourself, "is this an over share?"
Pictures can be copied. In my experience, this came back to me in a very real way (one that I got a great laugh out of though). I had a friend print a pic of me from Facebook and use it in a white elephant gift exchange for a party I had. It was cleverly done and one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen (helps that my husband's business partner was the one to open the photograph), however be aware that your photos can be downloaded and copied and you have no control over that once you've shared it.
Remember that many businesses will look at your Facebook profile when considering whether to hire you or not. If you've chosen to have business associates on your Facebook page then be aware that they have a peek into your life.
Change is something to be aware of. Facebook is always changing things, their newest change was to "Timeline" which I thought would be so great. I could have a cover photo that was more unique and still have a profile pic that showed my face; but- I quickly realized that even with my privacy settings controlled to friends only, Facebook had allowed everything from the time I switched to it's new layout onward to be public- regardless of my settings. Scary!
To delete is permanent. Again, being behind a computer screen or phone can give us courage that we wouldn't have in real life. There are many reasons to delete people from our friend list, but be aware that they will know you've done it at some point or another most likely. It's hurtful to the person who is deleted (having gone through it myself). I've also been on the other end of deleting- but I try to be careful and have even apologized for it. Like I said before, there are many valid reasons to remove people from your friend list, but think before acting.

It think that last point has been my main thought; THINK BEFORE ACTING. It's all too easy to press a button and put something out there that isn't meant to be shared. We can allow friends and family into our lives and experience the ups and downs with them- but use some restraint...please! I've seen it happen to celebrities, business associates, and friends. It's never too late to learn something new.

Tips for a Happy Turkey Day

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 00:03:00 +0000

We are all busy today either making dishes, traveling, or spending time with loved ones. It's a time to be grateful for what we have. In reflecting upon the things we do have, we can also be aware of how we can make those around us the happiest and be as considerate as possible during this busy holiday season.

-consider your dress. If you are attending someone's home, step it up a notch, it shows respect for your host letting them know that you appreciate all the effort they went to on your behalf.

-Say thanks. Of course we will all say this during the meal, after, many times perhaps. But remembering to write a note, a text (if you must-at the least) or a phone call after the fact to let them know how much you appreciate all the work they went to, is so appreciated and thoughtful.

-Be punctual. Arrive and leave on time. When your host tells you the time to arrive, pay attention and respect it. There is a reason they have told you that time and it shows respect to be punctual. We all run into traffic, snags with family, work, etc. But if you do, call to let them know you are running behind and that you will be there shortly. Know when it's time to leave. If you are staying at your hosts home, agree ahead of time when you will be leaving and don't overstay your welcome, no matter how badly your host begs...there's always next time. It's better to be wanted than to overstay your welcome.

-Avoid awkward and painful topics- especially in families. This isn't family therapy. It's not the time to talk about how you wish mom hadn't worked when you were little. It's a time to talk about what you're grateful for and leave your problems at the door with your coat. Pick another time to talk about things that are heavy, group gatherings are not the time.

-Offer to help clean up. Most of the time the host has gone to a lot of work to prepare; cleaning, cooking, etc. Offer to pitch in and do some dishes. Roll up your sleeves and dig in.

FOR THE HOST:

-Assign tasks. Don't be afraid to ask people to bring something. Or if you are cooking the meal yourself, have your guests help with taking coats, setting the table, lighting candles, last minute details.

-Leave distractions in your room or office. This is not the time to text or have the game on. Turn off the TV and FB. Be the gracious host I know you can be and enjoy the guests you have invited over, sit down, be engaging, ask more questions and listen more than you talk.

-Be aware and flexible. If you are inviting a larger group of people and someone says, "I would come but Jim is spending the holiday alone."- say, "well bring him with you!" Be gracious, it never hurts to invite one more, but you will always regret not doing so.

-Say thank you. Your guests if you look around, are your loved ones. Thank them for taking the time and effort to come and share time with you and loving you. Always thank them.

-Have a flexible menu. You may have gluten free requests, people who want to bring things even when you have the entire menu planned. Be prepared to allow for those things and don't be so stringent. Accept all offers for special diet accommodations.

Above all the holidays are a time to celebrate, to forgive, to come together. I personally am not one who likes to hold grudges, have arguments that I cannot resolve, or problems that I cannot fix. I love the feeling of peace and joy that the holiday season brings knowing that I can come together with as many loved ones who will have me and celebrate all that we have to be grateful for.

I hope that this holiday season brings all of you the same peace and joy and I look forward to bringing you some more fun tidbits here and there as the months continue.

My two cents.

Are good manners passé?

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:11:00 +0000

I came across the most fascinating article this morning in the NY Times that discusses a case where two gentlemen were sitting in a bar and two ladies were standing (no seats available). The employees asked the gentlemen to give up their seats to the ladies and one of the men was upset about being asked to give up his seat to a woman and took the case to court. I would love for you to read this article...but I am curious as to your views on this subject.

The article goes into further speculation as to why manners could be on the decline. Family dinners are less frequent, our world is more fast-paced, manners are insincere, etc. I found these arguments to be most intriguing as my philosophy has always been that good manners can make others feel comfortable (when I'm doing it right-which I don't always accomplish) and don't alienate others or come across as insincere.

I do believe that teaching the next generation good manners and etiquette comes more from an example than from what we preach. As most parents can attest, our children learn best from our actions and mimic what we do, not what we say we will do. I personally think that we do live in a disrespectful world where manners and good taste have become eroded, where Beavis and Butthead have made a comeback by popular demand? Seriously? If that is any indication of the level of taste or class that we are accepting into our homes, then yes, I can see how manners would take a back seat in homes very quickly and respect would fly right out the window.

In a world where Sponge Bob rules (not that he hasn't gotten a giggle out of me...) it doesn't surprise me that our children speak disrespectfully to us and that we aren't too terribly shocked by it, or are even amused by it (although we have to take things with a grain of salt or else we'd go nuts as parents- I DO have a sense of humor people).

I guess my point is that I don't believe that manners come and go like the tide. I believe they are like values. I believe they are a constant in a person's life and make up part of their integrity. Some of the comments in the article suggest that manners can be surface, and perhaps sometimes, holding back a comment or not honking the horn could be seen as "not being yourself" which is drilled into our heads that we must do in todays society to find our happiness, but what about self control? What about restraint? When do we learn those things? Consideration for others? I submit that these are crucial lessons that our future generation must learn and must learn early if they are to be successful and truly joyful.

Beautiful flowers

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:28:00 +0000

As I have been in charge of funeral flowers for my Grandfather's funeral, I have learned a few things that I thought I would pass along that you might find helpful. If you have information that you'd like to add, please feel free to add your thoughts and tips.

In our preparations, we have found a florist who has not only been helpful, but pleasant to work with and so friendly and knowledgeable. Things that are all needed during this time. I would highly recommend them and I can't wait to find occasion to use them again. They have been proactive in contacting me and have thought of every last detail. So lovely to work with The Painted Daisy in Highland, Utah.

Funeral Flowers - Is it an expected part of funeral etiquette to send flowers?
First check the bereavement and funeral notice in the newspaper or phone the funeral home. Many people request donations should be made in lieu of flowers, you should respect their wishes.

However, if there are no such requests, flowers can be a great comfort to the family. If the deceased was very popular or well known, too many flowers can be overwhelming. You need to exercise your own judgment here. A card or a phone call of empathy is often a thoughtful and welcome gesture.

Funeral Flower Etiquette - flowers for a traditional funeral:

1. Wreaths and sprays should only be sent to the funeral home and never the deceased person's home.
2. Placing flowers on the casket is a privilege and tradition reserved for the family of the loved one.
3. If sending flowers to the family home, go with an arrangement that comes with a self-contained water vessel. This will save them the hassle of fussing over and maintaining the flowers in a time of grieving where such small tasks may get overlooked.
4. If you are unsure about what color funeral to send, then stick with pastels, as they are a soft safe option.

Funeral Flower Etiquette for different religions and customs
There are different protocols observed for each religion and faith. They are as follows:
5. It is accepted to give flowers in the following faiths: Baha'i, Buddhist, Catholic, Christian, Mormon and Eastern Orthodox. For Mormons, flowers arranged in the shape of a crucifix or a cross is not acceptable. White flowers are preferred if the religion is Eastern Orthodox.
6. Check with the family if the deceased is Islamic or Hindu, as there are varying practices within the religion of giving flowers.
7. In the Jewish faith, it is a practice to send food packages to the home and family of the deceased rather than sending flowers to the funeral home. While it is becoming more accepted by some members of the faith to send flowers to the family at home, it is still frowned upon by Orthodox Jews.
Finally, if you are still unsure about the process associated with the deceased's family, ask the funeral home or the family's religious or cultural leader for advice. Many florists and online dealers are usually well versed in all aspects of funeral etiquette and may also be able to guide you in selecting the right arrangement.

The gift of empathy

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 16:35:00 +0000

Today I'm going to touch on bereavement which I have talked about before. My grandfather passed away on Saturday after living a fulfilling life. He was a WWII Veteran and a POW at the end of WWII. I am very proud of my grandpa and although it saddens me that he is no longer with us, I know he's in a better place.

The process of grief is so individual and death is something you never "get over". Yet, life still goes on. I've heard from dear friends who have lost a mother, sister, child, etc. that the thing that amazes them most is that the sun still rises, traffic still flows, people still go to work, even though their hearts are breaking and their worlds have come crashing down. I think that is the most important thing to remember. When someone you know has lost a loved one, even though carpool is still on for you, their lives are turned upside down and we can be respectful of that.

In using good manners, it's always best to keep it simple when talking to someone who is grieving. It's a great skill to listen carefully to what they are saying and let them know how difficult you know it is for them. Let them know you are thinking about them. The most important thing above all is that you are genuine in what you say. Make sure what you're saying comes from the heart and you'll most likely be OK.

Funerals are bittersweet occasions where families band together to honor a loved one. This can be a time of great sadness or celebration; I've seen both. Make sure you are doing your part to help others feel comfortable around you by following a few simple guidelines.

My two cents

Once bitten...

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 20:39:00 +0000

I admit, I've taken a hiatus from writing on the blog that has far more to do with my last appearance on KSL and less to do with how busy we've been this Summer (although we've been plenty busy). It's taken a while for me to adjust to the fact that commenting and giving my opinion on things could attract such hate and ugliness and that I would be in the throws of such a controversy. I'm all about learning from an experience and then moving on, but this has been particularly difficult to move past because of the personal attacks. Saying I'm uneducated, a ditz, can't use the English language properly, etc; it's almost too much and made me truly evaluate why I do this and if I want to continue doing this.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about this very subject and she had referred to another blog where the author is sick at the beginning of her pregnancy. NieNie Dialogue's Stephanie Nielson was the victim of a horrible accident and burned over a majority of her body. She is now recovering after countless surgeries and is moving on with her life. She has wanted to have another baby for quite some time and is finally able to do so. I think this is a time to celebrate. If she wants to vent about how sick she is and how difficult it is to throw up all the time, who cares? Blogs (people forget) are an informal writing format. They are a place for people to express their opinions, share their lives, etc. Yet she has received hateful comments about how she should just be grateful that she can have more babies because many can't. I am in that category by the way...I lost my ability to have more children at 28. I've had people tell me I should be grateful I have four children because many can't have children at all. Feeling the loss of the ability to bring a life into this world in no way diminishes the lives that I celebrate here. It's a loss nonetheless. But I would never resort to commenting on another person's journey or even their opinion on this topic because it differs from mine unless I could do so in a respectful manner.

I have been known to 'stick it' to people. I could (if I chose) verbally beat another person down- I've been trained well by my mother who is the queen of verbal lashings and I'm not short on whit. What stops me is considering the other person's feelings- something that I think we all can learn from and I am certainly not perfect at it.

The reason I started this blog was because I believed I had a different approach. I'm not Emily Post (who wasn't an expert in her own right until she published- so if that's how we are defining now, that's fine), I'm not the Countess, I'm just a mom with four kids who has had the opportunity to learn a lot of things in my life that pertain to etiquette and manners; whether by education or experience. My desire is always to help those around me feel more comfortable, not uncomfortable.

I guess what blows my mind is that there is so much hate and ugliness out there and that it's not limited to the people who we would assume are "bad" by society's standards. The ugliness that I'm speaking of wells up inside and spews out in attacks and ill informed verbal lashings.

I welcome diversity and different opinions. Certainly mine is not absolute. I would, however, be hard pressed to truly value and welcome hatred that is being thrown my way just for hatreds' sake.

So....there you have it- my personal journal entry of sorts. The reason that I've not written on this blog in four months. However, the best lesson that I have learned from this experience is something my mom taught me when I was young and only now does it really make sense:

Don't let other people determine how you're going to act.

Pure and simple. It's my choice whether I'm paralyzed by the fear of being ripped apart for my opinion. If I were to talk about it again, would I choose my verbiage more carefully? yes. Would I change my opinion? no. That's what makes us as intelligent human beings so magnificent: our ability to reason with one another- but let's be kind as we do it.

P.S.

I do apologize that I didn't graduate college with a degree in English. I hope it doesn't offend that I may not be grammatically correct 100% of the time or that my punctuation is imperfect. Occasionally the misspelled word even slips by. My only solace is that my sister DID graduate with a BA in English and is an English teacher. She has given my grammar and punctuation the 'thumbs up'. What a load off- but thank you to all of you who felt the need to attack my writing as well, I think the only think that was left off the table were my mothering skills- anyone?

I'm now officially stepping off the soap box and putting it away. I have let people determine how I'm going to act and that is over. But if you are a hater...don't bother reading my blog...go make someone else miserable.

My two cents

Winner winner chicken dinner!

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 13 May 2011 19:31:00 +0000

Thank you to all who participated (although our numbers were dismal compared to all my other giveaways). That will teach me never to start one the weekend of Mother's day- but rather give an entire week before Mother's day- but alas, I was not in town...lesson learned. I hope though, that whomever receives this apron will love it and think it's as adorable as I do and if we do another giveaway with Cindy, I'm sure it will be a roaring success!

I hope you were all honest and no one cheated, I honestly don't have the time to go back and look, so I'm going to use the honor system.

Rachel said...

Such a cute apron, I love it!!

May 6, 2011 10:12 PM

Giveaway: dlux57 apron-Happy Mum's Day! (CLOSED)

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 06 May 2011 20:11:00 +0000

I was first introduced to Dlux57.com 3 years ago (that's right isn't it Cindy?) when I got an email from the owner about an apron that I was looking to have made. I wanted a pink teapot apron so badly (as I have a secret...or not so secret obsession with them and I needed to fill a void. Cindy was nice enough to email me after the Apronista had posted about my request to her and offered to make the apron I had requested. I ended up choosing to go a different route (and although my apron is cute- I think Cindy's would have been amazing too) but today Cindy has a tea and teapot apron on her website that just tickles me to death!

I think the most difficult decision I had during this entire process was deciding which apron to give away. Cindy's aprons are not only charming, but flirty and fun. Everything I enjoy in an apron.

Here's to all you mum's out there. It was put perfectly to me the other day in an email I received, "The dictionary defines a mother as a female parent, yet we all know female parents who are not mothers, and we know mothers who are not parents".

Cindy was also kind enough to give you all a discount for Mother's day. Use the code MUM20 for 20% off and Free shipping and it's good until May 24th (what a doll)!

**You must leave a separate comment for each thing that you do below (ie one comment after you've blogged and tell me you've blogged, one comment after you've tweeted, one comment after you've added the button, one comment after you've become a fan, etc)-YOU MUST ALSO LINK BACK TO ALL OF THESE POSTS, TWEETS, BLOGS, ETC FROM NOW ON TO QUALIFY (THE FIRST 19 COMMENTS ARE THE EXCEPTION).

Leave a comment on this post for one entry**
Blog about this for an extra entry (and link back to your post in your comment please).**
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Put The Pink Teapot Button on your blog for an additional entry (and link back to your blog in your comment)**
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This giveaway will close on May 13th at 11:59pm and the winner will be chosen on random.org and announced the following day.

What a polite town Boston is

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 04 May 2011 03:39:00 +0000

Coming to Boston, I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only were they as educated and dapper as I had expected, but discreetly polite. They aren't easily heard in conversation to one another, on the road when merging lanes, one car goes from the left, then from the right, people freely give directions, and all around Bostonians are just polite.

I have enjoyed this city from a historical, cultural, and culinary perspective. The fact that it's residents were accommodating in so many ways was just a perk.

In my travels I don't always come across such a great city, but in many ways, I would call this my favorite in the US (or at least in my top 5). Way to be Boston- proving that some things do come with age- refinement and elegance for sure being on your side.

Crowd flocks to palace for Royals first kiss

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 17:29:00 +0000

Britain Shows us how to move with class

Ooops! For those of you who have already read this post, I apologize for having the incorrect link before, here is the proper video. Enjoy!

I slept during the actual event this morning unlike some of my friends, so I didn't watch the entire event. But I have watched several of the highlights. I enjoyed watching this mass of people calmly walking toward Buckingham Palace. Having been down that road, I can appreciate the enormity of the crowd and as I was watching, I couldn't help but think that they were all being so polite as they were all vying for a spot to watch the new Royal couple kiss for the first time as man and wife in public. I wondered if, in America, we would all be so calm and accommodating to others while trying to get the best view. Just as I was wondering that to myself, Matt Lauer said it out loud. Here is the clip. Great commentary on civility, good manners, patience, and looking out for others around you. Great Britain happens to be a country that, when I visit, I admire for their hospitality and polite nature. They get their point across without infringing it on others. What class!

The wonderful world of Tipping-Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:25:00 +0000

Tips can be a tricky...do you pay your hairdresser a flat rate or percentage? When do you give the valet his tip, before you walk in to your venue, when you are leaving, or both? Here are a few suggestions on how to tip properly:

Be discrete. There is no need to flash your cash if you're a big tipper.
It is customary to tip on the pre-taxed amount of the bill.
When in doubt about tipping, ask in advance.
Money is the tip of choice, but in some cases a small gift, usually during the holidays can be substituted.

Restaurants and Bars:

Waiters- 15% is standard, in large cities 15-20% is standard. Exceptions to the 15-20% rule include:

When a restaurant is self serve- 10% is customary and is a thank you for preparing drinks and cleaning up your table
When the waiter has been especially accommodating- you may wish to add an additional percentage or 2-5$ to your 20%
When a gratuity has already been added to the bill- then there is no need to give a tip.
When your stay at a crowded restaurant is lengthy- Most restaurants count on turning tables at a fairly quick rate. Taking more time at a table means losing money for the restaurant and the server. Tacking on an extra 10-15% will express your thanks for being allowed to linger.

Bartenders

As you wait for a table, you can either pay for your drinks as you order or ask the bartender to run a tab, with will be added to your dinner bill. In either case, leave a tip for the bartender when you are told that your table is ready. in small towns 1$ per drink is fine.
If you're at a bar simply to have a drink, tip between 15-20% at higher end if the bartender has run a tab for you, if he's thrown in a free drink or two, add a couple of extra dollars to your tip.

Wine Stewards

A wine steward ( in upscale restaurants, the sommilier if a man, sommeliere if a woman) is tipped 15-20% of the wine bill, but only if he or she was especially attentive. If the the steward merely took your order and poured your first glass of wine, you might leave 10-15%, though no tip is required.
Customers usually tip a wine steward in cash at the end of the meal but in some restaurants you might find a wine-tip line on the credit card bill. And take note:When tipping a wine steward, tip your waiter only for the food portion of your bill.

Valet Attendants

Tip the parking attendants 2$ in smaller cities and 3-5$ in larger cities. Give the tip when the car is brought to you, not when you arrive.

In Transit

At Airports

Curbside baggage checker, skycap, or airline porter. The standard is 1$ to 2$ per bag- a little more if the bag is very heavy.
Wheelchair attendant. A 2-5$ tip is standard. If the attendant goes the extra mile, such as pushing the wheelchair from one end of the large airport to the other, tip on the higher end or even more.
Hotel shuttle bus driver. If the driver helps you with your baggage, tip no less than 1$ per bag.
Workers in the airport. Tip as you would servers in other restaurants.

On Trains

Dining or club car waiter. 15-20%
Waiter delivering to sleeping car-15-20%
Redcap or train porter-1$ per bag plus 1$ added to the total.
Sleeping car porter-2$ per person per night.

In Taxis, Private Cars, or Limousines

Taxis- generally about 20% of the fare, but in large cities you should tip a minimum of 1$. If a taxi driver helps with your luggage or packages, a slightly larger tip is always in order; in general 1$ per bag. Try to avoid using large bills, especially during short rides or shift changes, when drivers aren't likely to have change.
For car and Limousine services, the easiest way to top is to tell the service to add the gratuity to the bill, and often times this is done automatically. You may do this when you request the service. In larger cities, the standard tip is about 20%; in smaller cities, 15%. When a gratuity is included in the fee, there's no need to tip more.

On Cruises

Tips at sea

A good rule is to allow about 15% of your fare for tipping. Divide about half of this allowance between the cabin and dining-room stewards and distribute the rest to others who served you.

Cabin Stewards, Dining Room Stewards, and Waiters should receive about 3$ per day minimum. Put tips in separately addressed envelopes and hand them to each person at the end of the cruise with a note of thanks if you wish.
Lounge and bar Stewards- 15-20% at the time of service.
Wine Steward- 15-20% Each time you use his services.
Hairdressers, manicurists, and other service people are tipped at the same rate as on land (that will be in part two)
Like train and airport porters-1$ per bag at the time of service

On longer cruises consider tipping weekly and find a day that works for you to be consistent.
Do not tip the ships officers, but do thank them for their courtesy and hospitality if you cross paths or happen to go to a captains dinner. Do not tip the ships doctor.

Next post I will talk about Hotels, service industry professionals, Health care providers, Home delivery services, Residential Building Personnel, and other out- and about tipping. I also have a post about holiday tipping that I will refer you to.

Another perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 18:54:00 +0000

I received an email this morning from a mother and wife who wished to remain anonymous, but I do NOT know her. She asked me if I would post her feelings as a comment to my latest post but I felt that her comment was so poignant that it needed to be a post itself. This is the society we do live in, with all of it's imperfections and shortcomings. Unfortunately we are not perfect, although some try. Rather than come from a defensive point of view, like some have on this issue, let's read the following and try to come from a place of understanding, shall we? (If you are lost on the commentary, simply read the next post down and the comments and you will understand):

"Melissa as a breastfeeding mother (on number 3) I totally agree that mothers should feel free to nurse in public but as a wife of a husband who struggles with pornography as many men do(and by struggle I mean hates it and is working so hard to overcome it) I have to say I support Janine's stance of discretion. There are many things that can trigger weakness in a man struggling with pornography and any level of immodesty is one of those things. I know it wasn't your intention but I think your comment that "it doesn't make them turn into primal animals who can't control themselfs" is a bit naive and insensitive. My husband fully supports me breastfeeding in public but as a his wife I would appreciate it if modesty was practiced in all things. Alot of babies have a hard time nursing with a blanket over their heads it is stuffy and hot no matter how light the blanket plus they want to see their mothers face which is an important part of nursing. I mearly suggest that we take more thought to what we will be wearing as we are out in public so as to show respect to those around us. I agree that it is important for people of all ages to see that a women is breastfeeding and a little flesh showing between the babies head and your clothing not a big deal but I am not so sure they need to see an entire exposed breast. As a side note it is a shame that as a society we make a bigger deal about a women breastfeeding in public then of all the other blatant immodesty in the world around us."

Thank you anonymous for sharing your story with me. I certainly wouldn't judge you until I have walked a mile in your shoes and I would hope others wouldn't either. I would hope that we as a society would step outside ourselves a little and realize that there are others around us who may not feel the same as we do and therefore we can consider others feelings before we act...that is my only purpose in doing this blog.

That's my two cents

Do visuals help?

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 20:36:00 +0000

This is the best article from iVillage that I had to share- explains perfectly how I feel, that it's just a matter of common sense.

Not to get graphic here, but people still don't seem to get what I'm saying so I'm going to lay it out as simply as I possibly can- in pictures:

I find this to be perfectly acceptable. I personally would throw a burp cloth or something over myself, but that's ME, and I have that right. But there is nothing wrong with this picture except the guy giving her an odd look, and in that case he can move, she isn't doing anything to make him feel uncomfortable because she's covered in my opinion.

Not so much. If she were secluded in her backyard, absolutely, if she were in a park with other families, nope. I think it's not ok for her to bare her fully naked breast, she could have left a couple buttons done, or used a blanket even on the other shoulder away from her baby to shield herself or others to help make the situation a little more comfortable.

Now, I'm not a lactation specialist, never have I claimed to be an Etiquette "expert" just an etiquette blogger who likes good manners, although I fail at times, I try my hardest and do know both what it's like to be mom of young children and now a mother of teenagers- think about that when you go to attack...how are these babies you are so quick to protect going to feel about seeing other women bare their breasts when their hormones are raging? Just think, maybe don't jump to conclusions until you're there.

Oh Baby!

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 04:41:00 +0000

Let me just say that in the last few hours I have never had so much hate enter my life. Thank you to all who have taught me how to properly tweet a hate message, how to Facebook a hate message, and how to email a hate message; I appreciate the education. For the rest of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me share. I was asked to appear on my local TV station, which, if you are a follower, you know I do once in a while. But this was different. I was asked by the host of the normal morning show that I appear on if I would to a special piece called "Family Focus" that was to air on the 5:00 news- goin' Prime Time baby! Of course I was thrilled at the prospect and would never turn Brooke down (loves her).

I went at 12:15 (which is the middle of the school day and Liza was getting out early from a field trip so it was an extra special effort to make it up to the big city). We chit chatted a while and when it was finally time to film, we did a couple of takes for my first "faux pas" of pregnancy etiquette- which was all based on a Today Show Producer who as up in arms over people touching her tummy while she was preggers. I agree that it's a violation of her privacy and asked people not to do that as part of my top three no-no's. Next I suggested that people stay away from asking couples or single adults when they will start a family (contentious I think) because it's no one's business! Third I tackled what was obviously a beast and possibly the cause of future panic attacks- Breastfeeding in public!

Being a mommy of four and having nursed all my babies until well after one (almost two for most)- I'm an advocate and thank my mom and sisters for leading the way...but I have to say, I don't think I ever saw their goods, even though I was around my sister all the time when she was raising her five children.

Anyway, I suggested (as you can see in the video that I LINKED TO HERE) that I suggested that ladies should cover up. OH BOY (yes I yelled)- this was a huge misjudgment in wording I suppose. I don't know if I would have said it differently? I guess I could have said "be discrete" but I probably would have gotten just as many haters. You would have thought that I had just said that I hated all moms who breastfed, that I thought they were all awful for showing up in public, that they should be ashamed of themselves, and never again show their faces (isn't that what I said?)- Oh wait- NO! I said that WE should cover up when in public places and when others besides immediate family (or others close to us- who I'm sure we can gage) are around in order to not make others feel uncomfortable. I was speaking from personal experience.

Not too long ago we were with friends in Hawaii and while waiting outside for a table for dinner, I turned around to see a woman taking down the spaghetti strap of her dress to pull out her melon (watermelon) sized bare breast to feed her child in front of about 65 of us all waiting for this sushi place to open (you know the one I'm talking about on Maui?)- She was completely bare chested- there was no place to turn, she was on display for all to see. There were several other benches in that strip mall, I know because my friend and I had just checked out a few of the other shops. I did not wish for this sweet woman to be ashamed of her body, her baby, or breastfeeding, I just wanted her to take it somewhere a little more intimate so that just her and her baby could enjoy it.

That is all I'm saying people! If you're wearing a sweatshirt already and you can't see anything, then you don't need to cover up, do you- which is why I said in the article, figure out what's best for you- I'm not the breastfeeding manager of you all!

I don't think I'm asking too much here or that it's bad manners. I think it's good manners to make others comfortable. Etiquette is simply more formal customs, so it doesn't really apply, but manners do. When thinking of good manners, I will not give up my life, but I will consider others when making a decision on whether or not to expose my body in front of other people to feed my child when to solution is simple and when I know that will make other people feel uncomfortable, I am more than happy to retire to a bench more secluded in the mall, a restaurant booth, or one of many other locations.

I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying it doesn't take practice, but when I am accused of being discouraging to women who may want to breastfeed, or my words keeping them from breastfeeding altogether- I find that accusation harsh, unfounded, and unjust.

That's my two cents (and that's all it is!)

Janine

Fancy Friday- the letters b and d

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 17:14:00 +0000

I don't want everyone thinking that this is Sesame Street and that we are going to sponsor the number 4 next. I just had to tell you that something came back to me this last week and I thought that was Fancy! I do classes or seminars that are geared toward the youth in helping them be better at dating with manners, dining with manners, and using technology with manners. It's usually done in a dinner style and it's worked very well in the past. The last occasion on which I had an opportunity to present my class, there were some adults there and it just so happened that a few of them owned their own businesses (successful ones at that). I taught the class- geared at the youth- but I always hope that whatever I teach will benefit whomever attends.

About a week ago, one of those adults who also happened to be a business owner, came up to me and said, "hey, I used that 'B' and 'D' thing you taught us"- I was excited that he had occasion to use it and now I will explain it, as I have before here:

It is simply that your Bread plate will always be on your left as your left hand makes a 'b' and your Drink will always be on your right as your right hand makes a 'd'. It's a simple trick to distinguish your drink or bread plate from that of the person sitting next to you, especially in a round table setting, or a long dining table like this:

I hope you find this refresher helpful and not too fancy. I've found it helpful in many situations and it was so fantastic to hear back that the trick worked for someone else as well.

That's my two cents.

Fancy Friday: ...Oh Thank You!

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:02:00 +0000

There are not many things that make my day more (unless my tulips would hurry up and bloom)- than a hand-written note in the mail...addressed just to me! Through all technology's changes tweets, twoits (sounds dirty), FB messages, email, whatever, I have to say, I love a hand-written note best. I talk about all kinds of correspondence here in another post and how important "Thank you" is to me in this post, but I'd like to talk a little bit about sitting down and taking the time to actually do it.

Like most people, my mail consists of bills that I've already signed up to have emailed to me, lots of ads for the week telling me how cheap that "leather" couch is, and my Netflix (because my hubby is a stickler for getting those back and getting his 7.99 worth every month). My mail carrier is kind enough to always put the exciting stuff on top. He will always put hand written correspondence on the top of my pile making my trip to the mailbox soooo much more exciting (even though it's really DH who gets the mail because I loose half of it when I get distracted by the new Pottery Barn magazine).

My long, drawn out point is, this isn't fancy or difficult, it doesn't require extra funds or being part of the upper class, anyone can write a thank you note, and that is classy in my book.

Thank someone for a wonderful lunch the other day, tell them how much fun you had chatting with them and you hope you can do it again soon.
Let somebody know how much fun you had seeing them while visiting (insert city, state, country) on business or pleasure and you appreciated their hospitality while you did (insert something nice).
Say thank you for a birthday gift that was dropped off to your house, because someone took the time to remember you on your special day.
Send thank you notes for Christmas presents, letting that person know (or all those people know) how much you LOVE that tie!
Write a note thanking your DH for the flowers he brought you home when you were having a bad day, and leave it taped on the mirror with a lipstick kiss next to it.

There are endless possibilities and reasons to write a note of gratitude, it's just a matter of sitting down and recognizing what we are grateful for and who has touched our lives this week. It's never too late to write a note, although general etiquette says you have one year from your wedding to write a Thank You for your gift, I say three months is the max- after that we've all forgotten what we've done (wedding would be the exception).

Let me say one more thing- something is always better than nothing. If you can only text, tweet, or FB a "Thank you" then so be it, I'm not going to come bonk you on the head with my etiquette wand. acknowledgment is always better than leaving something unsaid. So if you really can't sit down and write it out, use the blessing of technology and say it somehow.

Have a fabulous weekend- Those are my two cents!

So many lessons to learn

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 06:15:00 +0000

I feel like in the last year I have been schooled! I have learned so many different things, ranging from 'be careful who you allow to know anything about you- because some small piece of information can turn into a disaster' all the way to 'knowing how important my wonderful husband truly is to me and how important the covenants and promises are I made with him and God 15 years ago.'

I am not going to get deep into the promises I made in my marriage today (much to your chagrin I'm sure) but I'd like to talk about the people we trust. I wish in this case I was on iChat with all my Pink Teapot ladies and gents so that we could truly have a discussion about all the experiences you've had throughout your lives. These are my pearls of wisdom for today.

At the beginning of these experiences, I was bitter and confused. I thought that I had been so wronged, that no one deserved my trust again and I am the person who lets you run me over and then says, "please sir, may I have another?" So obviously these things really stung. After some thought, a lot of prayer, and some serious reflection, I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't want someone to shut me out and never give me another chance, even if I had done something intentionally malicious (which is not in my nature- but anything is possible I suppose).

I had to go through the process of truly forgiving others unconditionally.

Here's my point. We can't change anyone else, we can only change ourselves, so in trying to become our best selves, let's forgive quickly (which also means letting go of whatever that person has done to you), move forward with a better perspective on who you would like around you in the future, and remember that not everyone is going to be your "bestie". Trials always help us see other's true colors and during any trial that you might face, there are those who will be fence-sitters, those who will run for the hills for fear of worldly judgement, and those who will stand for what they believe is right and true (that's called integrity just in case you're wondering)- but those people are few and far between which is why my wise mother says that you can count your "real" friends on one, maybe two hands your entire life. These are the people who will truly take the time to get to know who we are as people and then defend us when we're not there to do it for ourselves. They don't care if you're rich or poor, skinny or fat, what your hair looks like under your hat, or what your house looks like behind that door you're trying to keep closed as you tell people you're busy and to come back later. These are the people we can be real with- we can say, "come on in" when it's all falling apart because we know they will love us anyway and more because of it...never judge us.

How does this tie into good manners? I think that anyone who wants to have good manners should learn every bit of info I've just put on this page and master it, goodness knows I have a long way to go. Good manners come from within. We can fake it all day long but our sincerity or lack-thereof will always scream louder than what we are saying.

I love you my friends, you know who you are.

That's my two cents.

Where have I been??

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 07:43:00 +0000

Is the question I was asked the other day (via email)- "come back"-they said. I have been getting sweet emails and Facebook messages from Pink Teapot lovers (and lurkers) for the past couple of months and I'm finally doing something about it...talking about it (insert smiley emoticon).

No seriously, I've been asleep on the job (as this Saturday Evening Post so beautifully is named and depicted by Norman Rockwell). I've neglected the blog for this long, but I get wrapped up in my little world and forget that I have this fantastic creative outlet for something that I am passionate about on a daily basis- that is a true shame!

I think it would be fun to do some...vlogging, is it? Video blogging. I really enjoy the ease of setting up my Apple with Photo booth maybe or iMovie and just going to town. I could get several subjects talked about in one session and it would bring something new to the blog (for those of you who don't watch those clips of me on TV).

What do you think? (hint...this is the part where you give me your feedback so I might make an informed decision).

muuahh!

Pardon me

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 18:23:00 +0000

I'm not straying from the Holiday series here, just veering a little to the left to share a story. It's not very often that I share etiquette faux pas you understand and never about those whom I am in contact with on any kind of normal basis, but every once in a great while someone will surprise me- especially during the Holidays.

As many of you know, we live in Utah. We had taken our children up to what is called Temple Square. It's the Mormon Temple grounds and during Christmas time it is turned into a winter wonderland where everything that will hold still is adorned with lights and it's simply magical. There is a manger scene that goes through the birth story of Christ (life size) and many other wonderful things to see- so if you ever get the chance, it's something you must check out for sure!

Anyway, we took our children up to see the lights but first we went to a lovely dinner at a restaurant called The Roof (which is on the roof of the building next door) and you can see all the lights of Temple Square. It's a very nice restaurant and so we had quizzed our children and prepared them on how to use their best manners so that they might enjoy such a privilege, but it's also a buffet. I stood in line for the main course with my nine y.o. who was the last one to be served and as we were about to get our main course, a gentleman walked in front of us (mind you there was a long line behind us) and said, "oh, I'm just going to grab some of this" and opened one of the dishes and helped himself. I smiled at my daughter embarrassed for the man and what else could I do, get out my etiquette police hat and write him a ticket? Then he proceeded to to the same thing to several other people (as there were 8-10 main courses and he chose them all-not just one). I was shocked! I couldn't believe that someone had been raised with such poor manners. I wanted so badly to give him my business card, and if that hadn't been poor manners, I would have.

I guess people like him give me a reason to write, but it always seems worse during the Holidays because people are in such a hurry. The irony is that I believe (other than naysayers, most of the people who read this blog love it and agree with it and have impeccable manners and are in the occasional quandary themselves.

Happy Holidays! I'm going to continue to try and write in the next few days. Love getting your emails as always- loved the one about food and guests the other day- I haven't forgotten about you...just busy. xoxo

My two cents!

Tips on holiday tipping

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:56:00 +0000

As a follow up to my recent five minutes on 6AM TV (bright-eyed and bushy-tailed), I thought I would jot down some specifics for those interested in finding one place for the appropriate amounts to tip those in the service industry whose services we use throughout the year. I had a newscaster call me yesterday and we did a story on it in Dallas yesterday afternoon, that was fun. I think it's something that people do forget about and I'm happy to remind them.

Whether and how much you tip widely varies, depending on the quality and frequency of the service, where you live, (amounts are usually higher in large cities, and your budget. If you’ve regularly tipped at the time of service, either forgo a holiday tip, or cut back on the amount. Try to get your child’s input when deciding on any gifts for teachers, day care providers, nannies, and babysitters.

Every situation is different so let common sense, specific circumstances, and holiday spirit be your guides. This tip amounts might be helpful:

Nanny

A gift from your family (or one week’s pay), plus a card from your child/children

Babysitter, regular

One evening’s pay, plus a small gift from your child

Barber

Cost of one haircut and possibly a small gift

Beauty salon staff

10-60$ each, giving most to those who give most to you, and possibly a small gift.

Child’s teacher

Gift, NOT Cash or check- school policy. Ideas: Classroom supplies such as books, sanitizer, tissue, picture frame, fruit basket, gourmet basket, slippers, cozy blanket, joint gift with other moms, a food item purchased by a group.

Day-care providers

25-70$ each, plus a small gift from your child; of only one or two providers, consider higher-range amount

Dog walker/Pet Sitter

One weeks pay

Personal Fitness trainer

Cost of one session and possibly a holiday card thanking them for hard work

Garage attendants

10-30$ each, to be distributed by my manager

Housekeeper

One days pay

Letter carriers

US Government regulations permit carriers to accept gifts worth up to 20$ each, but a basket of fruit or candy, and nuts, are appropriate too. You could also write a kind letter to their supervisor telling them how your carrier goes out of their way to ensure your packages safe arrival.

Massage Therapist

One session’s fee

Newspaper delivery

10-30$

Private Nurse

Gift, not cash (too personal of a job)

Nursing home employees

Gift, not cash (see above)

Package deliverer

Small gift if you receive deliveries regularly; most delivery companies prohibits other.

Pool cleaner

Cost of cleaning the pool

Doorman

10-80

Elevator man

15-40

Handy Man

15-40

Superintendent

20-80

Trash/recycling

10-20/each for private service (a gift is also appropriate- candy, nuts, popcorn)

Yard worker/gardener

20-50

If you can't afford to tip these people, just remember, it's not all about the money for them, or rest assured, they wouldn't be in any of these professions (for the most part). They enjoy serving you, seeing your hair transform, opening the door and making you smile when they ask how your day was, helping work out the kinks in your neck- so a card, at the very least, with a personal message written of thanks and gratitude for them this time of year is also very much appreciated (I've done my research in the field and asked). Just don't forget to remember them.

My two cents!

Holiday courtesies

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 16:11:00 +0000

With some holidays behind us and other fast approaching, I thought I'd talk about some things we all might want to consider during this busy time of year that might help things go a little more smoothly during work parties, social gatherings, and that one family party (you know the one I mean). Here is my first segment which is more introspective:

- Always have an attitude of gratitude. If we walk into a situation feeling negative, it not only impacts us, but leeks onto those around us. Think of things to be grateful for this time of year and carry those things with you, even if you have write them down and keep them in your pocket, a grateful attitude will affect how you treat others in the market, at parties, and in your everyday work and home life.

-A smile never hurt anyone. I was in the market the other day and caught someone's eye. I gave them a smile and she lit right up and smiled back. I have no idea what her day was like before or after that, but it made me feel good to genuinely share my happiness with someone else.

-There's no room for being a Bah Humbug! On that same market trip, I walked up to get in a line to purchase my two, yes, two items, and I heard someone yelling. I didn't pay attention at first until he said, HEY LADY, THERE'S A LINE!" I turned around and apologized profusely but it was too late, he was scowling and angry with me, muttering bad words under his breath. He quickly went ahead of me to put his basket full of groceries on the belt (it's one of those new line things where you all branch off so I couldn't tell there was a line). My husband grabbed me tight and assured me I had done nothing wrong as did a sweet lady next to me who commented "he doesn't have much to be grateful for" (See suggestion 1) and I was OK until I left the store (at which point my kids informed me that at home my five y.o. had pulled down our completely decorated 10 foot tree (but no one was harmed, just the tree and the ornaments)- I lost it a little bit and cried quietly on the way home. My point is, you never know how you may affect others. Being in a hurry is no excuse to be rude. We all have days where we wish the person in front of us would go a little faster or let us go ahead, but five minutes hasn't killed me yet (although being about 10 seconds late the other day did save my life...another story for another day).

*Remember also when slowing down (or thinking about not slowing down for the pedestrian) that it's winter (here at least) and it's really cold- it isn't really that difficult to sit in your nice warm car for 2 extra minutes while letting another person pass by your car to enter a store or cross the street in the freezing cold?

My two cents!

Yes Nanny...

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:23:00 +0000

In the fun world of parenting, at one time or another, parents will leave their children with a babysitter or nanny. This can create a mutually beneficial relationship that can enrich both parties lives. However, there are some things that need to be considered before embarking on such an adventure!

For the parents:

What goes on in the family, stays in the family- children need to be taught that they are not to share private information with their babysitter (i.e. My mom yelled at my dad today).
Rules need to remain the same- whether you as the parent are there, or the nanny/babysitter is present, rules should not change.
Communicate- always ask your child what happened during their day and be sure to find out (tactfully) if the nanny/babysitter is treating your children appropriately.
Make sure you set boundaries and remember that the nanny/babysitter is an employee. It's difficult when you have someone tending to the needs of your child, not to involve them in your life- you don't need to be cold, but boundaries (not going into the master bedroom, not taking or borrowing personal property) need to be established from the beginning.

For the nanny/babysitter:

Do unto others- It can be difficult to put yourself in the parent's (your boss's) place, but try. If you wouldn't want someone yelling at your child, don't treat their children that way (that's never acceptable to begin with).
Be honest- at one time or another, we've all used the best language possible on our resumes to make ourselves sound appealing, but it's quite another thing to be dishonest. Make sure you're telling the truth to your employer and if there has been a falsehood already told, you need to come clean.
Respect rules and boundaries- it can be difficult when working in a home environment to remember that you're still at work. Talking on the phone, running personal errands, and checking social networking sites while being paid may not be a good use of work time. If you are bored, or lack work, you can ask your employer what they would like you to do during down time.

These tips help to ensure that both parties will have a fruitful and long-lasting relationship and helps everyone feel more comfortable, which is what etiquette is all about!

Ok, Fine!

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 05:04:00 +0000

I must thank you all for your emails and messages on FB. I have decided that I am capable of moderating comments on older posts (even though it's a bit of work) and that most of your comments are legitimate (and in English). So game on!

The eternal optimist

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 19:57:00 +0000

This is a story my mom told me over and over growing up, I hope you enjoy it and remember to "dig" to find the positive in every situation!

A few years ago a major research project was commissioned by world renowned university. The purpose of the study was to objectively develop operational definitions for pessimists and optimists for use in textbooks, academic papers, and classroom learning.

The scientists, behaviorists, and psychologists involved scoured the globe searching for the most pessimistic and optimistic people they could find. Their key objective was to bring test subjects back to the lab for further study. After a year of looking the team finally narrowed their search down to two 8 year-old boys.

Back at the lab two observations rooms were readied. The first room was filled with every kind of toy imaginable. There were so many toys that it seemed to the researchers that an entire toy store had been emptied for the sake of the study. The second room was filled wall to wall with horse manure. The boys were to each be placed in a room and their behaviors would be observed from behind one way mirrors.

The first little boy stood skeptically in the doorway of the room full of toys not sure if he should enter. But with a little prodding from one of the researchers who said, “Go on in, they are all yours”, he finally walked over the first toy. What happened next shocked and stunned the researchers. Instead of playing gleefully the little boy systematically opened every single package in the room and rejected each of the toys in turn. The researchers heard him whining: “These aren’t like my toys at home. These toys will never work. Where are the video games! “Its hot in here. I don’t have any friends to play with.” The complaining went on and on until soon, exhausted from his own negativity, he sat down in the middle of the room and with a big pout on his face he angrily shouted “I’m bored and I want to go home.”

The researchers had been so mesmerized by this display of pessimism and negativity that they had almost forgotten about the second little boy who had been place in the room full of manure. They quickly shifted their attention to the second room and peering through the observation window, were stopped in their tracks. They had expected to see the little boy sitting on the pile sad and crying. But instead, he was standing on top of the pile wildly shoveling horse manure. To the amazement of the entire research team, he was animated, excited, alive, and happy. He kept digging and digging and shouting with glee. He was covered with manure from head to toe and he was ecstatic. The researchers looked one another in awe – the child seemed delirious.

Cautiously one of the scientists opened the door to the room and tried to get the boy’s attention. However, he was so focused on digging that it took a few minutes to get his attention. Finally the boy stopped what he was doing, turned around, and faced the scientist. Looking with amazement at the manure covered child the researcher asked, “Son, what in the world are you doing?” With that question, a huge grin crossed the boy’s face and with the same enthusiasm he had given to digging he replied, “Sir, with all this manure I just know there is pony in here somewhere and I’m going to find him!” With that he turned around and started digging.

No elbows (or cell phones) at the table...

noreply@blogger.com (Janine) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:47:00 +0000

This past Friday night, my husband and I went on our traditional date night. We had a lovely evening shopping and we ended with dinner. While at dinner, our kids called (separately) more than once. After the fourth or fifth call (I stopped counting), my husband asked if it was okay for him to just take the call at the table. I gasped and said, "of course not!" to which he replied, "just checking". I ran in and out of the restaurant, which was distracting and rude also I'm sure, to field calls about all kinds of nonsense- but at the end of the night, we were able to enjoy dessert "call free".

This incident did spark conversation between my husband and me about what is appropriate at the table and what isn't. We both try very diligently to keep our cell phones put away and the only calls we will take are from our children while we are out together- but even then, and in a noisy restaurant, should you be taking calls at the table? My answer is No! Calls should be handled in private because even when you think you are having a "private" conversation, one tends to raise their voice while sharing comments to the person on the other end of the phone, so whether you intend it or not, it's not a private conversation and others are forced to listen to you speak about whatever.

My other pet peeve that I'm going to rant about is texting or talking on the phone while having face-to-face time. I find it so rude that someone will answer endless phone calls while spending time with me (I mostly let it go to voicemail-kids and hubby excepted, and I can get back to them later). I think if you are with someone you should love the one you're with and keep the cell phone usage, whether to text or talk, to a minimum.

On a separate note, I have had so many emails about my choice not to accept comments anymore on this blog. I have to reiterate that it's not because of the negative feedback (I welcome naysayers)- it's because I am getting more advertisements than comments. I have found my blog to be more of a library reference and I have also found that if people disagree (or agree) they will Facebook me or email me and let me know, so moderating the comments just becomes a waste of time.

I can't wait to get back into the blogging swing of things when my kiddles start school next week- enjoy the fleeting days of Summer!