The Pisstakers Mega feed

Email humor - Dont even reply

edtheeditor — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:41:56 GMT

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:41:56 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672127&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffiles%2FEmail-humor-Dont-even-reply.html%23unique-entry-id-612 email humor isn't necessarily the phrase that springs to mind. On the other hand, if you come across email from Don't Even Reply, and you recently placed a classified ad somewhere, you could be setting yourself up to generate plenty of humor for thousands of readers.

A gentleman who placed a classified ad looking for a good home for his old Clydesdale horse, was horrified to receive an offer from Dontevenreply, masquerading as the owner of a glue factory. "Is it still available?" he innocently asked. HELL NO was the short reply.

The horse owner got off lightly, but others can't help themselves and get drawn into long-winded to-and fro-ing conversations.

Being in the construction trade myself, my favorite involved a handyman who placed an ad, warning the public of a customer who didn't pay his bill. Boy, he rose to the bait and ended up tied in knots.

Another involved a woman looking for a mechanic to do work for her on the cheap. The wind-up merchant convinced her that she had a leak from a hydraulic headlight valve, and he would have to remove the engine to reach it. Apparently she drove to another garage for a second opinion, and made the mechanics roar with laughter when she asked how much to repair this fictitious component.

There are loads of these scenarios, mostly believable, mostly ending in Fuck you asshole. Result!

Comments run fast and furious and make you realise that this guy's posts hit readers' nerves hard, while the Pisstakers' posts only brush past almost unnoticed. Please see my latest classified...

HUMOR SITE ATTRACTING OVER 8000 VISITORS A MONTH SEEKS WRITERS WITH THE ABILITY TO MAKE THESE READERS LAUGH.

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Royal Mail strike a battle royal

edtheeditor — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:20:48 GMT

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:20:48 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672128&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffiles%2FRoyal-Mail-strike-a-battle-royal.html%23unique-entry-id-611

Where tradition and corporation clash

According to age old tradition, Posties join the 200 year-old postal service, proud to wear royal uniforms bedecked with glittering queen badges and regal trim. They traipse on foot, bicycle and donkey to the farthest extremes of the British kingdom, serving the public with a cheery smile, whistling the national anthem, 6 days a week in any weather. When their postbags are empty, they go home for a nice cup of tea, be it earlier than scheduled in their contract, or on time.

Traditional-minded posties work under the guidance of dour grey-suited corporate managers whose public spiritedness begins and ends with the maximisation of profits. They pore over spreadsheets, sorting, listing and manipulating the data - maximising deliveries of paper-based units to carbon-based citizens living in faceless densely packed and orderly numbered dwellings. Ne'er the twain shall meet.

Right royal strike action

The Royal Mail management says the workers have to do whatever it takes to modernise to beat off competition from upstanding corporations like Fed Ex and TNT. The workers' union says no problem, but not at any cost. The mention of "any cost" sends shivers down the spines of Royal Mail bean counters, and reconciliation seems impossible.

One strike and out - of business

Rightly, the unions insist that a strike is not in their members' interest, as it will turn customers away from the Post Office and into the clutches of private companies like Fed Ex and UPS - forever. The Union leader announced,

"Once businesses leave the Royal mail and see what the private service providers can do, they will never come back."

"Quite." replied a smug manager, "When customers get a sniff of a true 21st century service, we will lose 97.5% of our current business. But on the plus side, Royal mail will be well positioned to make better profits than ever before. When we lay off 50% of the workforce and deliver that 97.5% less mail on time, the British public will thank us heartily."

To be continued...
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Blog Action Day Climate change

edtheeditor — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:39:12 GMT

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:39:12 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672129&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffiles%2FBlog-Action-Day-Climate-change.html%23unique-entry-id-610

Adventure that is climate change.

Now, instead of battling the predictable Atlantic elements and the moaning blue rinse brigade on a lame transatlantic cruise, I can take a derring-do summer cruise on a tall ship full of bare chested salty sailors right through the middle of the Arctic Circle. No need to worry about ice bergs, they have all melted. No need to trek miles over frozen wastes to catch sight of a polar bear. Just sit in the deck chair sipping a cool beer and watch the white furry moulting beasties float by on blocks of fast melt ice.

Thanks to climate change, we will be able to do what no Viking could ever do - go skinny dipping off the Greenland coast. The opportunities are endless.

Dropping monthly bills thanks to climate change

Thanks to climate change, my gas bill will be a fraction of what it is now, the heating rarely on. And the rising electric costs to run the 24/7 air con will be whipped back into normality by the "free" power produced by the government-sponsored wind turbine the size of the Eiffel Tower, spinning noisily in my desertified back garden. I(ronic that allusion to France, seeing as it will be the incumbent French government sponsoring the windmill, not my own British one, since all the MPs will have hot footed it off to the milder climes of a Siberian gulag to run up their expenses in peace.)

Enterprise and climate change

With climate change comes opportunity for entrepreneurs. The "Save the Planet" emblazoned ear plugs won't be for protection against the horrendous whooshing of spinning blades, but rather will shield us from the disturbing screeches of errant birds being ripped to shreds overhead.

Sweat bands will be all the rage as we swelter under 90 degree winter suns, and neoprene will be all the rage with nomads right across the sub saharan flood plains. Tsunami burgers and typhoon tea will be the next big thing across the corporate globe. Thanks be to climate change, change is a wonderful thing.

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The mess in the back pocket of UK politics

edtheeditor — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:53:46 GMT

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:53:46 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672130&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffiles%2FThe-mess-in-the-back-pocket-of-UK-politics.html%23unique-entry-id-609
Gordon (I'm grinning while crapping my tailored pants) Brown has just seen 3 members of his cabinet jump ~~shit~~ ship. One politician resigned over a £700 error in their expenses claim - how does that resignation stack up as honourable behaviour in an age when a measly £700 error buys a homeless unemployed university drop-out just 6 weeks' worth of Student Loan repayments?

And a long standing member of cabinet deliberately resigned just 2 days before it would have been safe so to do. By picking her mis-moment, the minister's resignation managed to drum up the howling baying anti Gordon Brown flood of press attention.

And along comes a real shit to tidy up the detritus lapping at the doors of Number 10. When king of Spin, Mandelson, advised the press not to read anything into recent press briefings (a bit like telling the prison population not to read too much into crime stats) I smelt a turd the size of the wallet in Simon Cowell's back pocket.

The long and the short of it, the knives are out for the current PM. Ultimately he will become Post Prime Minister, replaced by some conniving Pre-menstrual biddy as thick as a post.

Ultimately, any worthwhile part of Brown's reign, ie the economic policy he invented to cope with recession and indebt the nation forever, will fall down the proverbial toilet, thus "proving" it was right that he left now. And then when his opportunist successor proves as ineffective as the first round of Blair cabinet ministers, the country will go to the polls and a real shit sweeper will come along, probably wearing a BNP suit tinged with just a hint of ... pick your vice.

The mess in the back pocket of UK politics, mmm, such a liberating smell. ]]>

Funny quotes of the day HQ

the pisstakers.com — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:40:07 GMT

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:40:07 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672133&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffeatures%2Ffeatures%2Fbestlineofday_files%2FFunny-quotes-of-the-dayHQ.html%23unique-entry-id-5 If it's a good script I'll do it. ...Stamped on a customer services agent wrist tag: "If you find me in a car accident, please phone my boss to say I will be late for work: the number is 312-234-5674; ext 2; press 4; press 2; say Yes, say No, press 1; wait 11 minutes. ...They auto-size and the text changes color to fit your theme.

...

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

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Wallpapering tips

Ed the Editor — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 18:00:20 GMT

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 18:00:20 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Findex_files%2FWallpapering-tips.html%23unique-entry-id-10 wallpapering tips from the Detroit News!

I don't know much about anything, except, with 20 years experience in the painting and decorating trade, I have a fair idea about the intricacies of painting and wallpapering, and all that good home decor stuff. When I read this article in the Detroit News, I had to check the date of the article to see what century it had been written in.

If you have ever wallpapered a room, you know how difficult it has been to line up the designs from one strip of paper to the next. You would also have those noticeable seams due to the need to overlap one sheet over the other to match the patterns.

The journalist must have got his info for this article from 1909, not 2009!

He is referring to the times when wallpaper came with selvedges, ie in the days before sellofane! Can't remember them days either?

Back in the day, manufacturers used to leave a raggedy border on the wallpaper as a form of protection for when it was being shipped and stacked on shelves. On the job, the tradesman would have to trim off this edging, as straight as possible by hand, before it was pasted. When it was time to hang, rather than butt joint each piece, they used to slightly overlap the joints, because despite their best efforts, the edges weren't always perfectly straight and an overlap was deemed better than a gap.

Wallpapering tip 2

The selvedge is the origin of the following popular wallpapering tip:

The first piece of wallpaper should go down the side of a window, and you should then work away from the light, finishing in the corner that least attracts the eye when you walk in a room.

The reasoning behind this fairly reasonable advice comes from those good old days when decorators had to make sure that the unavoidable overlaps the idiotic journalist refers to, wouldn't cast a shadow!

I still hang paper this way, but the logic is a bit redundant, now that the wallpaper you get from 99% of sources is trimmed perfectly straight for you. Nowadays, the only time you should get an overlap in the middle of a wall is - never.

And finishing in the corner to the right of the door, usually works every time, unless you have an exorcist type head swivel going on.

Wallpapering tip 3

What's the next tip from the Detroit News? Be careful not to spill molten horse hoof clippings on your hands when you are mixing your own paste!

If you want any serious home decorating advice, seriously, just ask. In amongst the satire there will be some useful tips. ]]>

User interface design guidelines

Ed the Editor — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:04:48 GMT

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:04:48 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672138&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Fbloggingtips_files%2FUser-interface-design-guidelines.html%23unique-entry-id-4

Writer guidelines say: Did you know that 79% of web users scan the page instead of reading word-for-word? That people read from computer screens 25% slower than from paper? Or that web content should have 50% of the word count of its paper equivalent?

Blogging isn't just about writing for the benefit of skim readers, you have to consider the Google robots too.

Bloggers have designed many different interfaces to cope with skimmers and readers of all persuasions. Here is a range of user interface designs, not based on guidelines, but on what felt right for the target audience.

The generic blogger.

Back to basics first. 99% of the many quintillion million blogs on-line interface with the reader via text, an image or two and even a video clip for fun. The Pisstakers are guilty as charged.

In our defense, we are aware of the scanning syndrome and go for short paragraphs and big headings. I can scan any article on this site in about 3 seconds, from heading to heading. Judging by the number of people who leave the site within 30 seconds of arriving, my headings are brilliant communicators!

Imagery in blogs

It gets more interesting, however, when you present a blog reader with images-only. How many people have you heard say, "I couldn't finish looking at that photo, it was too hard to get to the bottom!" Exactly!

A picture communicates 1000 words and does it very quickly and powerfully. As long as you aren't presenting blurry upside down holiday snaps, the interface between reader and image is very effective.

Photo blog

Before it was abandoned to money-grabbing link maniacs, Innings site was 98% photographic image and about 2% text, by my unscientific calculations. Norman Roberts' website was one of the most powerful collections of emotions on the internet, IMHO. Happiness, sadness, disgust, anger... name your vice and you'd find an example or 20 at the end of your nose at Innings, with no need to scan a single word, most of the time. Need I say more?

Cartoon / comic blog

On a pixel per reader reaction count, cartoons are even more effective at engaging a "reader" than photos. At MyExtra Life which is only 1% text , Scott Johnson depicts humorous expressions and feelings with a swish of his digital pen. A quick scribble of wording to add to the picture, and he draws even the most ADD of readers to the punch line of his comic strip.

Then there is the quick sketch approach to catch the readers' attention. Zackie does a scintillating job with the swish of an ink pen and a scanner, en français. You feel, quoi?

Time line blog

Look at Where It Stands is an example of where the blogger uses the humble time line to express dozens of opinions with the minimum of text. Sort of like a morse code of art?

The Venn diagram blog

And finally, the humble venn diagram has been taken to a new level of communication by several brilliant minds. Here, a brain box explains the difference between the UK and Britain using a venn diagram! found at The Alex Barnett Blog.

Super intelligent venn diagramists can even venn away before writing the required thousands of words explaining the stupidity of politics and religion.

Pisstakers on communication

Personally, I have to stick with words to communicate. At least with the internet, I can link to, and show off the different interfaces I couldn't possibly dream up or create myself.

If you see any other novel blogging styles, let Ed know so he can write something about them.

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Whale hits wooden boat

edtheeditor — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:26:18 GMT

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:26:18 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672139&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Fboats_files%2FWhale-hits-wooden-boat.php%23unique-entry-id-5

Maybe if your compatriots didn't want to hunt and kill every whale in the ocean, this one would have treated you better? ]]>

Of bail outs and bills

Ed the Editor — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:36:56 GMT

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:36:56 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672066&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fworldnews_files%2FOf-bail-outs-and-bills.html%23unique-entry-id-100

On Septemeber 15th, 2008 I received a check in the mail from the US goverment for $12,000. It was enough to pay off the $10,000 in credit card debit I had accumulated, and allowed me to take a nice vacation, and SAVE $1,000. Saving, is something we had never been able to do before.

Wow, and he has another $45,000 coming.

And I thought all I was entitled to was that $300 hand-out last year, to go buy an iPod!

How much have you received so far?

Paying out

Usually, the flow of public money is away from the public towards the government. I was reminded of a couple of characters who, faced with unfair tax bills, took their anger out in a couple of creative ways - and got a lot of satisfaction, sticking it to the Government.

Fishy payments

In the UK, in 1990, there was almost a revolution when Poll tax was introduced. A guy, probably unemployed but still liable to pay the new "fairer" tax, submitted his payment to the government on a very creative check - a dead fish with the words, please pay the bearer the sum of ---- written on its scales. Legal tender!

Paid in pennies.

When Poll tax rioting in the UK got out of hand, the Tories removed it from the public consciousness by replacing it with Council Tax. Same shit different day.

A friend of mine who lived out in the country, had a small cottage, no streetlighting, almost no road, and a once-weekly refuse collection that usually left more trash on the kerb than in the back of the trash truck. He was livid to find his Council tax bill was rated in the upper band. The Council ignored every letter of complaint he ever sent...

Imagine the look of horror when he turned up at the Council Offices (with the press in tow) and dumped a sack of coins - and another, and another - at the payment kiosk. He had the correct amount, the Government officials had to accept it as legal tender, but they also had to count it all out, coin by coin, just in case it was short. It took hours.

Unfortunately, they never saw the irony or humor, and he has been a marked man ever since. Simple procedures (like applying for planning permission so he can upgrade his simple home so it is more in-line with the other high tax paying properties in his neighborhood) end in disputes and delays. I guess you can never win

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Flying Air india home alone

Ed the Editor — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:48:14 GMT

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:48:14 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672140&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Findex_files%2FFlying-Air-india-home-alone.html%23unique-entry-id-9

We pitched the following idea to Air India:

A half air fare special: Full air conditioning, and great views. Acres of room for your kids to be loud and obnoxious without interfering with the passengers.

Book early, only 2 spaces available per transatlantic flight.

Air India rejected the idea, saying Asian kids are well behaved when they travel. They wished us luck and suggested we approach the American airlines.

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Air India funny stories

Ed the Editor — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:04:46 GMT

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:04:46 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672141&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Findex_files%2FAir-India-funny-stories.html%23unique-entry-id-8
Before I get too carried away, I would like to make it perfectly clear that it was a really smooth flight with impeccable service and very tasty food. And for $276, what more do you want?! But as a pisstaker, I am obliged to find the satirical content in a delightful experience.

Air India episode no. 1

Air stewardess: I am sorry, sir, we only have mutton curry.

The self-confessed white Yankee American passenger next to me paled. He wanted bland chicken and made a point of telling everyone around him that his introduction to real Indian food was not going to take place on an airplane.

Fortunately, hunger pains and no choice broadened this man's narrow mind very rapidly and he dug into a hearty meal of mutton and things. He enjoyed it - really.

Air India episode no 2

Captain over intercom: The current time, ladies and gentlemen, is 58 minutes after 7.

Quite a few passengers were looking around in disbelief at the Calcutta captain's abject attempt at telling the time. A neighbor added, "For the benefit of those new to clocks, that means it's 2 minutes to 8!"

And when the plane landed at 7.68, this passenger was relieved to arrive safe and sound, sane and on the ground in one piece, stomach intact.

Thanks Air India for flying a pisstaker so far for so little with so much food and kindly service.

Had any heart-stopping experiences on a plane?

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Wado Ryu knife stunt- don't try this at home.

editor@thepisstakers.com — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:59:00 GMT

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:59:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672101&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FWado-Ryu-knife-stunt.html%23unique-entry-id-24 Witness the master of Wado Ryu, a guy called Ohtsuka, dealing with a knife attack - proof that real life fights can be better than any Hollywood-staged scraps.

The fighter with the knife is under strict orders to try and kill the little guy. There is nothing staged about the attacks. And once he has evaded the knife, old man Ohtsuka demonstrates what he would do to you if you didn't run away.

This is the old guy in "action" and it is arguably one of the most spectacular pieces of fight action you could ever hope to see.

I like the unassuming Wado Ryu Way of Peace and so should you. And if you want to see a real martial artist at work, here's Steven fat boy Seagal, before he was fat in a martial arts billing with a gang of cannon fodder students.

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Humor collections site review

The Pisstakers — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:20:48 GMT

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:20:48 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672068&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2FHumor-collections-site-review.html%23unique-entry-id-7 Humour collections looks like a sort of scraper site for all things funny. Not that a collection of other people's humor is a bad thing, just saying.

Funny post

The post today is a humour picture of Mona Lisa. Actually, it is a series of well executed and quite funny variations of the morose model Mona.

For me the best picture of the grumpy nun was the fashionable, almost cheery version of a female Italian Huggy Bear.

It is amazing to think that Leonardo da Vinci could well be best remembered for inspiring the writers of Starsky and Hutch. Not bad vision for a 1400's artist, I suppose.

Suggestions about the site

I tried to post a comment to complement the pictures, but the webmaster at Humour Collections has made it too restrictive to leave a comment. Add some commenting options, dude!

I did mention en passant at the start that the site seems to be a collection of other people's work. Maybe make more of an effort to put their own stamp on the posts?

Humour collection - rating

They have a load of targeted humor, several sidebar widgets, including the mighty fine Pisstakers free funny quotes widget, so, there is plenty of funny material to browse.

It gets 3 Eds!

Related reviews of funny sites

Fluffy's World
Santa's naughty blog lists

The Pisstakers promote funny blogs and websites. Submit your funny blog, humor blog or humor website for a free review.We also review bloggers who have helped, advised and posted links pointing to this site.

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Web search information

Ed at The Pisstakers — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:01:20 GMT

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:01:20 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672065&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fsearch%2Fsearchexpo_files%2FWeb-search-information.html%23unique-entry-id-7 Reviews of web search options

If you are concerned about the welter of data that Google collects when you search the web, hide behind Scroogle.Kartoo is the one for you, if you dig pretty thumbnails of sites containing relevant search results.Rollyo lives in a browser bar and helps you focus on search results from sites you trust.

This in-house search tool provides quick access to articles in the Blog Net News aggregator. BNN is a nationwide network tweaked for individual states.Sponsored ads pay for the prizes you can win when you search on Blingo. Simple-to-use, Blingo is based on Google.Aftervote, formerly known as Younanimous, comprises of Google, MSN and Yahoo! search results which are then prioritised based on each user's use of the most useful search results. Technorati's search engine is modestly called a searchlet, but it taps into a huge, valuable databaseKevin spoon fed Federline has joined the paying web search game, just like Meatloaf and countless other stars of the stage and scream.This über fast personal blog / web search option harnesses the rampant power of the number one robots on the planet and Googloid Adsense!Swickis are a combination of search engine & wicki. Create tag clouds and customise search results, earn some adsense income...Meatloaf is one of several in the Prodégé clan who are tempting fans and fans' families with paid web search!! Yes, paid to search, search and win..Disclaimer!!!! The Pisstakers are an affiliate of the Joke and Party Shop. We do recommend bloggers go searching for the latest greatest wierdest products.

Easy to install & everything is hosted on servers at Free Finder. Yes, no script knowledge required, it is free, and a finder. Excellent...

If you have a review you would like to add, please contact Ed.

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Stunts that go wrong

editor@thepisstakers.com — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:55:37 GMT

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:55:37 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672102&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2Fb1f1b62a4b0884e1b901b20bc859d407-23.html%23unique-entry-id-23

Worst review ever

The Pisstakers — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:43:40 GMT

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:43:40 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672131&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FBloggersFeed%2F%7E3%2FB2MUJcZjC_A%2Fb008f095a82927ffda2c655a75c9b01b-96.html I talk too much - and I got one - right in the nuts!! Here's my revisited response to their review, a long long time ago -

Well, well. I have written 1300 + posts in 15 months and a reviewer from I Talk Too Much makes a big deal about posting frequency! What can I say! It only took them 5 months to get round to doing the review of my site.

I used to think that I had a fairly cool theme, but along comes the smooth-talking I Talk Too Much hit-girl and blows even that idea out the water.

The template looks like the Denver Broncos threw up all over the page.

That is a very original analysis, but who are the Denver Broncos? Is that the last team of football players the reviewer slept with?

They go on to say I

inspired them to go piss all over the neighbors’ Christmas lights.

Hope she got electrocuted.

Comments

If you are curious enough to look at the comments on their website, be prepared for a meeting of Man-hater's anonymous.

You will read the words of someone who found some value in this site, but daren't admit she liked me too much, (in case she upset queen reviewer?)

Another member of the harem from hell also tried to over think stuff and said I am a not very good journalist. Well, er yeah, I am not a journalist. I don't research anything outside of Google keywords.

In terms of credentials, the only differences between me and the reviewer is I have not lived my whole life in the basement of a trailer, and I don't wake up every morning with the mission to indiscriminately trash everything that moves!

Ratings

I think "rating" is not quite the correct term - more like RAKING.

Ironically, they use a fist-based ranking scheme, I got zero! Maybe that is good? Anyway, to play fair and return the compliment, you get one fist for your site, ma'am. Choose any football team you like to give you the award as many times as you like.

If you want to read any more colorful ranty reviews that flow like newly bottled diarrhoea, check out their site - and find your own way there!!!

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Pisstakers International contacts

The Pisstakers — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 10:41:14 GMT

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 10:41:14 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672132&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FBloggersFeed%2F%7E3%2Fv1YlZUS7gkU%2FPisstakers-International-contacts.html rotating banner in the sidebar. So much talent in such a small space.

These guys designed the Pisstakers site. Italian flair, a good grasp of fashionable web design, impeccable taste - check out the hip theme developers.

I was once offered a funny tee with a Hispanic twist. I believe it is still on the way.

Mike said he would try and succeed at making money from blogging. The celebrity gossip and photo site is proof of his success. The material makes absolutely no difference to real life, but it is entertaining.

Funny random generators will tickle your funny bone, regardless of your nationality. Something for every occasion, occasionally.

More English humor sites than you can shake a xenophobic fist at.

A trans-continental community helping bloggers who make money online.

Breaking News from around the globe, as well as promo and how-to videos.

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B-Tube videos

Ed the editor — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:06:48 GMT

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:06:48 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672092&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fvideos3oct06_files%2FB-Tube.html%23unique-entry-id-33
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Old international friends of The Pisstakers

The Pisstakers — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:11:36 GMT

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:11:36 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672069&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2FOld-international-friends-of-The-Pisstakers.html%23unique-entry-id-11 ]]>

Javascript report

Ed the Editor — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 10:23:22 GMT

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 10:23:22 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672142&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Fbloggingtips_files%2FJavascript-report.html%23unique-entry-id-2

Rotating banner javascript code

Back in October 2007, before we were popular, we incorporated a rotating banner in a box in the left sidebar of our website. It displayed the logos of 9 sponsors/fanboi sites which appeared randomly with each page refresh. That ad box has gone, but we still use the code to power the Web Search and Visitor Tip boxes in the left sidebar.

If you like the idea of a box full of rotating logos or banners, rather than use a javascript code analyzer to find out how we do it, here is the code to create the template. Slip it into any html page.

Each banner appears at random, no delays.

You can add banners ad infinitem, in theory there is no limit.

Bottom line, I highly recommend it for sidebar images, adverts, photos...

Here are the sites we featured in the javascript rotating banner. Give 'em a click and see. You might discover something kewl!

More Pisstakers gems about javascript - a ratings script, and stupid javascript scripts.

BTW if you are reading this in a Feed Reader, it is not necessarily the latest posting, so check out The Pisstakers.

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Riot flares up in Oakland

Ed the Editor — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:00:56 GMT

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:00:56 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672067&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fworldnews_files%2FOakland-riots-wreck-wrong-lives.html%23unique-entry-id-98 Yet again, a bunch of multi-colored yahoos take offense at some "race-related" incident - the local red commies elbow their way into the fray. The result - a riot of color flares up in Oakland, where nobody wins. (Apart from a bunch of Oakland locksmiths and glazing firms!)

The SFGate say that the victim shot by a BART policeman was a typical poor kid with no qualifications, doing not very well for himself, his skin color - not white. He got killed for brawling. That is wrong on so many obvious levels.

Something is also wrong on a less obvious level. The communist element, probably wearing designer riot shirts used the death of someone failed by the system, to educate American citizens in the ways of another failed system!

Basically, in the eyes of communism, all property is theft, and the red rioters would have you believe that it is philosophically liberating, not terrifying, to witness complete strangers smashing up the cars and shop windows you stupidly worked so hard to own.

Boots on the other foot

It would be interesting to see the reaction of the commie rioters if their victims (the car owners and shopkeepers) went round to their aggressors' abodes and set their homes and cars on fire. They may see their untrendy lefty philosophy differently by firelight.

Final analysis

Most of the rioters didn't even consider the consequence of their actions on the democratic process they hate. It will now be easier than ever for the authorities to focus the public's full attention on lawless hooligans, and skirt around the nub of the matter - a man was shot dead by a policeman for fighting at a BART station.

Perhaps the BART officer could win over the public's support, by publicly asking his superiors to train him in the art of breaking up fights without a gun. And if they don't know how, then go ask any street policeman in the UK.

BTW if you are reading this in a Feed Reader, it is not necessarily the latest posting, so check out The Pisstakers.

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Online food traffic generator

Ed the Editor — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:29:09 GMT

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:29:09 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672143&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Fbloggingtips_files%2FOnline-food.html%23unique-entry-id-1 How many Americans visit blogs? Answer - 5 out of 10. How many US adults are obese? Around 25% !! Is it any wonder that some of the Pisstakers' food-related posts generated the most online traffic.

Gummi bears nutrition for your blog

Last year the MyBlogLog site showed that over 300 visited The Pisstakers in one day in search of gummi bears. Some bloggers actually found them. Hundreds kept coming back looking for more.

The tasty Polliwog found quite a few haribo gummi bears, which was good, seeing as she has 6 kids to feed. And with 6 kids to entertain, did she search for Gummi bears Cartoon Pictures?

Out of interest, how do you eat your gummi bears? Head first? That says something about you, you know!

Cadbury's chocolate market research

At Easter, a flood of traffic came looking at my anecdotal research into shrinking Cadburys creme eggs

The marketing decision to shrink a product when everyone else is upsizing was too much for some. It was definitely too much for me. I felt ripped off by the puny size of my favorite creme-filled milk chocolate egg, and there was no one to complain to. So for therapy, I had to blog about it - and go buy twice as many eggs as normal.

I was happy, munching my way to chocolate heaven, bombarded by readers, but later that month, it wasn't such a happy scene at Funny HQ. My dentist was pissed at me for willfully damaging my gums - but I can assure you, he was not as pissed as I was by the cost to rectify the damage.

A Small Orange health kick

On a healthy note, the flood of gummi bear and chocolate egg traffic did not upset my web hosts. It doesn't surprise me. They are known as A Small Orange (ASO). They are a healthy bunch and their citrus servers are resistant to all known strains of food related hits.

If you are a blogger, here's my advice to stay healthy, avoid obesity, and attract lots of readers.

1 - Post about eating gummi bears and chocolate eggs in moderation
2 - Totally load up on small oranges.
3 - Live the dream and blog healthy.

I did all this, and me and my blog are healthy now.

BTW if you are reading this in a Feed Reader, it is not necessarily the latest posting, so check out The Pisstakers.

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Create online store

Ed the Editor — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:24:00 GMT

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:24:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672144&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepisstakers.com%2Fedsblogspot%2Fbloggingtips_files%2FCreate-online-store.html%23unique-entry-id-0
Hey bloggers, how do you do it with minimal writing? Create an online store.

The premise of online stores

I was listening to a podcast from TWiT - the witty tech people. They have been at the forefront of podcasting, and were explaining that the only way most podcasters will ever get ahead financially is to sell merchandise on-line. That was one observation that must have pissed off 3 million creative podcasters expecting to get rich off the back of paid subscriptions.

What to sell online

A sound piece of marketing advice that may save the fingertips of countless bloggers trying to make millions purely from well-researched and creative posts. If you want to make money from a tech (ie boring ) blog, or a podcast, just get some funny t-shirts with logos or quotes not related to your blog/podcast in any way.

(Whilst on the topic of inappropriate merchandise - I remember seeing a sheath knife, (a small hunting knife), with the words, "Glasgow Rangers Football Club" stamped professionally on the handle. With the way society is deteriorating in the West, it won't be long before we see rival supporters wielding a souvenir claymore or mace. Anyone got a pattern maker for a claymore?

How to generate traffic to your online store

You have a faithful readership? Mention, and include a link to your online funny t-shirt / logo-ed hunting knife store in your posts.

I repeat, include a link to your funny t-shirts in your next post. Rinse, repeat. Over time,it will take little more than a blatant hint to provoke a stampede of faithful visitors dying to buy up every last piece of stock bearing absolutely no relation to your brand, or content.

If only it were as easy as a point in the right direction to get a comment out of my readers.

Create online store

And finally, how do you get a store up and running on the internet? On the Pisstakers main site I have a page called Party Store, which is like a front for online shopping info. Internet entrepreneurs are very creative with shopping store formats and I found a few on-line store options for you to peruse and compare.

Revelation about Ed

Although I spent a long time researching the articles, online stores are of little practical use to me. If you look at my spending habits, you will see that Mrs Ed wears the wallet in this house, and the nation's recent economic rise and collapse has almost nothing to do with me .

OK, time to go and enjoy the evening with my second hand Pisstakers cap in hand.

If you are itching to give your readers a good deal in these hard times try Chitika They are doing me proud. ]]>

Funny Bebo blogs

The Pisstakers — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:44:23 GMT

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:44:23 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672070&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Fcc8db98b51f60d03823d5302b290cd26-9.html%23unique-entry-id-9 Bebo is an online community with plenty of funny blogs pimping amongst other things, funny videos and funny signs.

I was grinning at the Indecent Proposal video posted by one Bebo member. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the end. Glad it wasn't me in the lad's shoes.

The Bebo Funny Signs blog has a bunch of original signs stuck in the ground or nailed to trees by folks with varying degrees of humor. The best sign for me said,, No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again!

It looks like the Bebo Totally Funny blog is in direct competition with the Funny Signs blog. Take a look and see if there is any contest, or is it just more of the same, but tarted up in red and white for Christmas? iSanta! Whatever next. icantstandexpensiveChristmas only 3.99 ? That wasn't the funniest thing I ever wrote, but I think it is fair to say that after browsing through the blogger's own photos, I don't see a future in funny caption writing for him, sorry.

And finally, Funny Bebo Skins is a German guy's collection of erm, Bebo skins that are funny. I need to investigate further, because I never got past the Baby video.

If there are any more Bebo members with funny blogs, let me know and I will feature them in a similar post to this.

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Lewis Black gets angry about Xmas

editor@thepisstakers.com — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:55:37 GMT

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:55:37 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672103&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2Flewis-black-xmas-video.html%23unique-entry-id-11 Mr Black is one angry man, but very funny with it.
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Indecent proposal

editor@thepisstakers.com — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 15:06:54 GMT

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 15:06:54 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672104&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FIndecent-proposal-video.html%23unique-entry-id-22

Watch More Videos Uploaded by www.bebo.com/null ]]>

Funny birthday quote from Barabara Cartland

edtheeditor — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:49:05 GMT

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:49:05 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672134&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffunnyquotes%2Fpage1%2Ffiles%2FFunny-birthday-quote-from-Barabara-Cartland.html%23unique-entry-id-1

After 40 a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face and stay sitting down.
Dame Barbara Cartland

If ever there was a woman who lived by the ethos of the above funny birthday quote, it must be Barbara Cartland, the woman who kept 3 make-up houses in business. I have never read her books, mainly because her picture on the dust cover screamed "illusion" and I prefer non-fiction.

And here is an old woman who didn't follow the old Dame's advice. She had better sit down before her chins fall off.

Funny birthday quotes is in its early stages, but ultimately, it will give you plenty of ideas for upcoming birthday cards for grumpy old fathers, cocky teens and women trying to be 21 - again and again.

And why do you need ideas for birthday cards? Well, check out MoonPig.com and you will see some potential for incorporating creative funny quotes in a multitude of card ways! ]]>

Short funny quote from Stephen Wright

edtheeditor — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:16:23 GMT

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:16:23 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672135&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffunnyquotes%2Ffiles%2FShort-funny-quote-from-Stephen-Wright.html%23unique-entry-id-1

The judge asked, 'What do you plead?' I said, 'Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane? (Stephen Wright quote)

Indeed, who would park or do anything foolish in the passing lane? These people, perhaps?

This obstacle parked at the side of the road didn't knock the painter off his stride.

I bet the little critter was surprised to wake up from his siesta looking like this.

Got any more pictures or stories or short funny quotes on a similar theme, let me know and I will link to you.
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Review of Wall St Fighter humor blog

The Pisstakers — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:17:37 GMT

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:17:37 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672071&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2FReview-of-Wall-St-Fighter-humor-blog.html%23unique-entry-id-8

With Wall St at the forefront of everyone's mind, I thought it was appropriate to revisit the review of this excellent funny site.

The Wallstreet Fighter is a humorous blog full of stock brokering tips, adult jokes, scantily clad women ... anything that appeals to blokes with or without any financial assets left. Of course his target audience is much bigger than that narrow demographic.

Blokes' wives and girlfriends like to laugh too, sometimes, apparently? I ask rhetorically, because I think the Wall St Fighter's minimalist dressing tips, and shots of the latest look in the bedroom must surely be of interest to the fairer sex too?

Regardless of what people own up to liking, we assume there are a few regular females out there who follow the fashion posts and read the wise and witty words posted there day in, day out. If not, then blow me with a feather, they are really missing out.

Trends are upward

Fighter boy is clearly bright and dynamic and he posts earlier in the day than the average blogger. By 5 am he is uploading lots of diverse and humorous material including 11 links and his own well-expressed opinion on anything from Revver to Google and funny stories of disappearing copper traders .

Blue chip jokes

Some of the jokes are plain rude, but many jokes are funny as hell, and well worth remembering for the next time you get handed a microphone at a comedy club and told to make everyone laugh. Never happened to you? Me neither, but just in case...

Just for the record

We cannot possibly condone or link to any website that pimps the flesh of beautiful young girls, it just makes all our victorian and conservative bible-thumping readers see as red as their trading accounts. Read, read, read the content.

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Funny site reviews

The Pisstakers — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:30:17 GMT

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:30:17 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672072&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Fwebsite-review-reminder.html%23unique-entry-id-1

The Pisstakers promote funny blogs and websites. Submit your funny blog, humor blog or humor website for a free review.We also review bloggers who have helped, advised and posted links pointing to this site.

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Games

Ed the Editor — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:38:11 GMT

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:38:11 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672121&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fvideogames_files%2Fgames-into.html%23unique-entry-id-1

Entertainment comes in many fun forms at The Pisstakers. Try out some games, which we will be adding to over time. And when possible, we will add our satirical touch to proceedings.

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Funny Quotes of the Day widget

the pisstakers.com — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:35:39 GMT

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:35:39 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672136&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Ffeatures%2Ffeatures%2Fbestlineofday_files%2FFunny-Quotes-of-the-Day-widget.html%23unique-entry-id-3 ...Let Ed know if it needs altering You are also invited to join the party and SEND IN your own funny quote and a URL to your homepage. ...Favorite the post in Technorati and we will link back to you by including you in a post of our own. ...It has proven to be a stable and fast-loading widget, but we are happy to make improvements if you can show us what it is missing.

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Green screen improv comedy

editor@thepisstakers.com — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:03:21 GMT

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:03:21 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672105&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FGreen-screen-improv-comedy.html%23unique-entry-id-21

The Drew Carey attempt at humor is along the lines of improv shows I remember from the 90's. It works quite well - eventually. The premise is: 2 of a team of 6 comedians start on the floor with a green screen behind them. They begin a dialogue and when the compere, Drew, says freeze, they stop mid-sentence and mid pose. One leaves to be replaced by a hovering comedian with something funny to add. A backdrop appears to suit the gag line. Magic!

The Green Screen is blue?!

As usual with improv, it takes a while to get on a roll, but once Greg gets over the over-use of swearing for comic effect, and the participants stop laughing so hard at their own jokes, the team produce some clever material. When 3 or 4 end up on the floor/stage, it really takes off and the Polish luge team signals the start of several smart comments that you wished you could come up with on the spur of the moment.

Is this show spontaneous?

Those techies working the backdrop scenery must be fast on a Mac, or... Surely they don't know what is happening ahead of spontaneous creativity? Or worse, the show is re-engineered when everyone has gone home? Let's hope not.

Also, how long does it really take to produce the show that we, the awed audience actually see? The reason why I can cast doubt on the authenticity of the format is that one of the all-time greats of UK comedy satire shows, Have I got News For you, which stars Paul the quickest wit of them all Merton, used to take hours of trial and error at spontaneity! Apparently they used to just sit there till they came up with a killer line.

Of course, to us mere mortals sat like lemons on Friday nights, our sides aching, it was like witnessing the gods of wit in full flow. But as we were all wondering what sort of drugs were needed to get your mind into that witty mode, the stars were probably laughing even louder at us, knowing it was all a bit of a fraud.

If any one has any further insight into the Drew Carey improv show, let us know. Educate us in a funny and witty way, please. And dont take 3 hours to write that hilarious comment!

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Prep unit rappers from Martha's Vineyard

editor@thepisstakers.com — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:03:15 GMT

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:03:15 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672106&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FPrep-unit-rappers-from-Marthas-Vineyard.html%23unique-entry-id-20 A very funny rap rip-off by jersey-wearing, clean cut pretty boy rappers. Don't worry, it is all above board. They bring their own style of anger all the way from tea at the tennis club in Martha's Vineyard. The most profane thing they say is er, there is nothing rude.

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Impossible Quiz

Ed the Editor — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 22:54:29 GMT

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 22:54:29 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672122&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fvideogames_files%2FImpossible-Quiz.html%23unique-entry-id-4

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Pisstakers funny videos + reviews

Ed the editor — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:01:02 GMT

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:01:02 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672093&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fvideos3oct06_files%2FPisstakers-funny-videos-plus-reviews.html%23unique-entry-id-29

A unique collection of funny & humorous videos from Revver, VodPod and B-Tube. Can't let Google and Youtube have everything!

Watch and listen to a VodPod special - Hilary Clinton is transformed.

Reviews: Funny videos News videos Video games Quirky videos

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Pisstakers funny videos + reviews

Ed the editor — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:00:58 GMT

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:00:58 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672094&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fvideos3oct06_files%2Fvideos.html%23unique-entry-id-31 Reviews: Funny videos News videos Video games Quirky videos

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vodpod

Ed the editor — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:00:49 GMT

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:00:49 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672095&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fvideos3oct06_files%2Fvodpod.html%23unique-entry-id-32
Reviews: Funny videos News videos Video games Quirky videos ]]>

The Pisstakers review funny blogs and humor sites

The Pisstakers — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:36 GMT

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:36 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672073&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Fpisstakers-website-review.html%23unique-entry-id-0

If you like the reviews of these funny blogs and humor sites, spread the word and add this page to your favorite social bookmark site. No money changes hands, honest!

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Fluffy's World

The Pisstakers — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:20 GMT

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:20 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672074&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Ffluffys-world.html%23unique-entry-id-2

I once saw a funny question, "How do you get around Fluffy?"

My gut reaction was to say, "Find out Fluffy's favorite perfume or candy bar, and buy them lots." But that was an ignorant answer because I didn't understand who, or what Fluffy was.

Google is our friend in such circumstances and after a quick search, I landed on one of the whackiest websites ever. I began to understand the question. It was a toughy.

After clicking and gawping at bizarre imagery and pyschedelia any LSD freak would be proud to see, I still have no idea how to answer the question about how to navigate Fluffy.

Related reviews of funny sites
Humour Collections
Idiot-proof website
Santa's naughty blog lists

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Idiotproof website

The Pisstakers — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:17 GMT

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:21:17 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672075&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Fidiotproof-website.html%23unique-entry-id-3

Idiotproof indeed! We sweat our tabs off producing loads of content day in day out and take solace in the knowledge that we make a few more people smile every day. This guy though has probably generated more laughs/groans and giggles per page of content than any site out there. Idiotproof simplicity is genius!

Related reviews of funny sites
Humour Collections
Fluffy's World
Santa's naughty blog lists

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Pastafarian video game

Ed the Editor — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:11:00 GMT

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:11:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672123&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fvideogames_files%2FPastafarian-video-game.html%23unique-entry-id-3

Sometimes you see something very stupid, but it makes you laugh. We wanted you to share the moment when we first saw a flying pastafarian, but as good netizens, we couldn't inflict the self-launching sound track on any visitor to this site. So be warned, hit this link and you will be overtaken by monotonous music and stupid graphics, but hey, you might smile. ]]>

Pac man

Ed the Editor — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:10:00 GMT

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:10:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672124&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fvideogames_files%2Fpacman.html%23unique-entry-id-0

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Ed the Editor — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:13:00 GMT

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:13:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672125&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fvideogames_files%2Fgames-reminder.html%23unique-entry-id-2

There are more collections of funny & humorous videos here: web/technology for technophobes; world news for xenophobes & quirky clips for funphobes. Rate, bookmark, comment... enjoy!

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Irreverent discourse about religion

editor@thepisstakers.com — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 05:59:28 GMT

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 05:59:28 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672110&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FGeorge-Carlin-irreverent-religion-video.html%23unique-entry-id-10

Very clever and intelligent arguments from George Carlin explaining how god, the sun and Joe Pesci work to make the world a better place.
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The Pisstakers — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672076&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fwriters%2Fwebsitereviews_files%2Fe7f3e139dd0f99209c70c950c83c4cd0-6.html%23unique-entry-id-6 ]]>

Maury Povich retreats to viral videos

editor@thepisstakers.com — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672107&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FMaury-Povich-retreats-to-viral-videos.html%23unique-entry-id-19

The internet is hardly 100% pure quality, and not all TV is garbage, but... Months of wall-to-wall DNA testing to out cheating partners may have been good for Maury's ratings, but it almost destroyed my faith in humanity in broadcasting! And, yesterday, to bolster ratings, Maury Povich further plumbed the depths of content with re-hashed trash viral videos. Aaaaargh!

Maury's production quality isn't all bad

In his favor, Maury's mega cheap show highlighted how TV and internet users have quite different expectations when it comes to visual quality. TV is all about high def camera work, snazzy computer-generated graphics and slick transitions. In contrast, if the clip of the DJ test-riding a kid's buggy had debuted on TV, the offending broadcaster of low resolution, blurry and jumpy crap would have been closed down in minutes for unnecessarily polluting the airwaves.

Bad move bringing internet to TV

That audio-visual calamity was a raving success on-line, but perhaps in the process of spending $300 on content to bring it to land-bound audiences, Maury just signed the death knell for his daytime show and others like it. Let's face it, with recycled cheap trash like this being served up, Maury clearly has almost nothing original of his own to offer, and with the internet so accessible "Why tune into TV any more?"

Internet and TV lines are coming closer

While Maury is serving up over-produced mega-dumbed down TV garbage, the internet movers and shakers are quietly making deals to bring prime TV on line. Add to that their access to content that will never be seen on TV (apart from re-hashed once popular video clips) and it is looking quite bleak for Maury and co in their current terrestial format.

Conclusion

There is only one obvious advance I can see him making in the ratings war against internet shows. Picture if you will, Maury crapping on the toilet while cheating partners beat up on each other in the background. It has to be a hit. Especially compared to the normal screeching drivel.

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Men at Work sing in funny English

editor@thepisstakers.com — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672108&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2FMen-at-Work-sing-in-funny-English.html%23unique-entry-id-18 I stumbled across an old Australian song by Men at Work. Whoever thought that English was the same the world over, knew not what they were saying.

Traveling in a fried-out combie

This is not an over-cooked chimichanga, but something like a VW camper van, the sort of vehicle that you would imagine if you listened to Alice's Restaurant, assuming your idea of fun is Arlo Guthrie, that is.

On a hippie trail, head full of zombie

This is a powerful sedative which may not actually exist in reality - yet. It seems to be more like a mythical drug that scientists have been researching for years. it's main property being to turn humans into zombies. Maybe just turn on Men at Work songs and listen to them backwards while standing on your head, that should do something towards achieving living dead status.

I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

Vegemite is vegetable extract that spoils any piece of processed white bread in a second. It is even more disgusting than marmite, which is a beef extract given to British babies before they are old enough to realise that it too tastes like shite.

I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder

This is a charming onomatapeic word that means to throw up, puke your ring, spew. A common pastime in any local hostelry, this action has been perfected in Bolemia-ville, south of Alice Springs.

If you want to perfect your Australian English, mates, check out the full and entertaining lyrics to Land Down Under by Men at Work

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It's all in your hands.

editor@thepisstakers.com — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 GMT http://xfruits.com/pisstaker/?id=20270&clic=451672109&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthepisstakers.com%2Fweekly%2Fweekly%2Fquirkyvideos_files%2Fits-all-in-your-hands-video.html%23unique-entry-id-14

Fortunately the internet is a great empowerer, and just as this guy has the chance to express his desires for a mate, so we have the opportunity to press the stop button and move on with our lives. Can't wait to not see what is happening at allinyourhands.com next month!
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