The Plain Melayu

I am so going to hell

2013-03-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

It is amazing that whenever I hand out my calling card, some people would immediately call me 'tuan'.

Sekarang aku akan asakan agama baru...

So that people would call me "tuhan" whenever I give them my card.

Can I laugh out loud now?

Caelum

2013-03-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

A few years ago, when I had nothing and it was apparent that I was still good in writing...

Datang seorang budak perempuan yang baru beberapa tahun mengenal erti puberty. She was intelligent, outgoing dan semua kualiti yang semua lelaki mahu dalam diri seorang wanita but she was too young, not to mention naive.

Kami duduk, minum, berbual tentang politik, buku, falsafah dan kehidupan.

She kept on questioning about life dan dia kata kepada aku:

"Don't you think life is pure nothingness. You were born and the one who gave birth to you had to go through great pain and raise you up for years just so she can grow old and die without".

In short, she was asking about the meaning of life. Sifat ingin tahu tentang existentialism, feminist existentialism as she was using a woman as an example.

In Modern Philosophy, the question of life is regarded as irellevant, such question should not be asked in the first place because to me personally, it is subjective. Objektif hidup kamu dan aku berbeza.

And I told her the same thing.

Dan dia tambah "so what is your purpose of living on this world?".

Aku kata kepada dia "darling, my purpose is uncertain, as for now... You can find my purpose of existance in my pants".

Well, she was 19 and I wasn't that old.

And now, at this age... I am more than ready to answer more questions regarding life, existance or what ever shit you want to know....

Sara Hidup

2013-03-14T12:23:00.002+08:00

Why do I have fucking advertisement on my blog?

To support my fucking lifestyle.

That's it.

Sekolah, sekarang

2013-03-11T15:57:00.002+08:00

A few years ago, at the beginning of the year. I was still a teach, been teaching English my whole life. Been writing since I was one of the naughty spirit before I got a body.

Or so I think.

First day of school, ice breaking. Same old shit, name, ambition, favorite subject.

Dan aku baju satu-satu nama, cita-cita dan matapelajaran kegemaran budak-budak kecil itu.

Sampai kepada seorang budak perempuan yang comel berumur 10 tahun. Cute and innocent... Tak ada masalah sebenarnya dengan apa yang dia tulis. Cuma ada satu yang merisaukan aku sebagai cikgu.

Especially when she wrote: "my favorite subject is meth, I love doing meth so much".

Dan dalam hati aku kata, "make sure to grind the crystal meth properly or it'll ruin your nostril my dear".

New Age

2013-03-11T15:40:00.002+08:00

It's fucking 2013 boys and girls...

Give each other that "I'll sweat you out" look.

Charming? Charming is medieval, it's a form of witchcraft.

Oh Mon Dieu

2013-03-11T15:33:00.002+08:00

There was a girl, in front of me. A girl that will make the sky kneel to the ground and earth jumping around.

Okay, itu exaggeration but she was alright.

Berbual mengenai politik, falsafah, perasaan, pengalaman hidup dan kepercayaan.

Dia kata kepada aku "you know faith is questionable".

Aku kata kepada dia, "of course, nowadays everything is questionable"

Terus beralih ke sejarah-sejarah agama dunia dan dia terdiam.

Aku tanya "why quiet all of a sudden?".

"Nothing, I am just wondering, is it possible to take away your faith?"

Aku jawab, "well you can try".

And that night, you don't have any idea how many "oh god, oh my god" was exchanged.

Well she didn't take my faith away but at least she found god, for a short while.

If you know what I mean.

Some Emotional Shit

2013-03-11T12:25:00.003+08:00

It woke me up, the fond memory of her woke me up from a deep sleep.

Oh fuck it, let's go straight to the point.

I've lost my lighter.

Kamu tahu apa perasaan ada rokok tapi tak ada lighter?

Down the fucking memory lane

2013-03-07T11:13:00.001+08:00

I am getting older...

The moment when I started writing this blog, I was young. Aku boleh cabar dunia dengan falsafah-falsafah karut yang aku faham.

And look where I am now...

Still far away from getting that fucking Macbook I wanted 5 years ago.

Story of my life.

Still Thinking

2013-02-18T17:48:00.002+08:00

Yes...

I am still thinking. So what?

Fed up = kenyang - Melayu

2013-02-04T14:03:00.003+08:00

This is it. This is fucking it.

I can't take this anymore, I am going to kill myself with her kiss and her kiss and her kiss. Multiple kisses can kill a man.

Especially a man who keeps on forgetting the things he wants to write in his fucking blog.

Now who wants to fucking help me?

Trois

2013-01-14T12:52:00.002+08:00

This is me in 2013.

Dan seperti tahun sebelumnya, I keep on telling myself that I should write more. Resurrect the dead, make the living happy atau apa-apa sahaja tujuan aku menulis.

Dan seperti tahun sebelumnya juga, selepas aku kata "I should write more", I'm busy with real life shit.

I'll be back when I'm done.

Jeritan Kemanusiaan

2013-01-14T12:41:00.001+08:00

So, you think I'm an asshole huh girl?

I'm giving you a chance here, once in a lifetime, you can only get this again when you are dead and resurrected.

Fuck me in the ass, you have 10 minutes.

If you fail, I'll skin you alive.

Epicurean Pleasure Syndrome

2012-12-31T19:34:00.003+08:00

You know the real problem of humanity?

We like to stick our nose into things that we know we aren't going to like or won't understand.

That's how war started anyway.

Happy new year!

He say, she say

2012-12-10T05:41:00.001+08:00

Kita semua mabuk.... Mabuk dalam kehidupan sendiri.

We should keep on drinking.

And a drunk man like me shouldn't be here writing.

Perpetual Self Discovery

2012-12-04T16:32:00.001+08:00

Hi...

I have a question.

Days come and go when you keep on typing the address of this blog to see whether there's a new crap written in a black space...

Are you looking for me still?

You are?

That's good, because I'm still looking for my self too.

A

2012-08-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

Can't you tell that a girl is a bitch by only looking at her breasts?

Bollocks.

wth

2012-07-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

Comment moderation is "penyederhanaan komentar" no?

What are you reading?

2012-06-25T00:38:00.001+08:00

Challenges...

Are fine sometimes...

But we are just human, with a pair of eyes, ears, legs and hands. Two sides of brains that's operating maybe 0.1 percent to 10 percent of its capacity. We have emotions that we can't often care about and the list goes on.

Perfection is limited as it is subjective to each of us. Once the opinion defining perfection differs among us that shows we have our own definition of life.

The way we look at things, the colours of life that's moving before us. Every particles that's passing in front of us, mean differently.

All these differences shows that we aren't smart nor stupid.

In the end it comes to one conclusion... When it comes to challenging something with two legs, speaking the same language you speak or maybe even speak better language than you do.

Normal human nature has its limitations.

Never challenge humanity.

Lelaki Bodoh Di Tepi Jalan Kehidupan

2012-05-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

Jiwa penulis aku kata, "what's better than waking up in other people's bed in the morning?"

Specifically jiwa sundal itu merujuk kepada katil seorang perempuan lain yang biliknya lebih sejuk daripada yang pernah aku alam.

Jiwa lelaki normal yang kamu mungkin akan nampak setiap hari mem akai seluar denim dan kemeja lengan panjang akan kata "fuck this shit, this is hell".

Juga merujuk kepada katil seorang perempuan lain yang biliknya panas.

But what the fuck, those two souls like pussy anyway, even in hell.

Yes I am here

2012-05-06T02:22:00.001+08:00

Some of you might think that I am dead in my writing. Mati dalam kuburan kata-kata sendiri, bernisankan noktah dan asterisk.

Don't be so happy now, I'm pretty much a live putting up with shit everyday.

But what the fuck, it's not like I can write like old time.

But remember this, this time around, I will watch my fucking grammar.

I'm happy that you came...

2012-05-06T02:13:00.001+08:00

Hi...

How are you guys doing?

Has anyone seen Rupert? Yes Rupert the care bear. He's always naked, you wont miss him.

Well blame Family Guy.

Make it mine and yours

2012-02-01T10:25:00.000+08:00

Aku banyak habiskan masa selama aku tidak menulis dengan membaca, meeting new people, exploring my social skills, observing characteristics and putting myself. In other words, I'm reading everything that is around me, seeing things through my colour confused pair of eyes.

Yes I do get confuse when it comes to colours.

2011 was a memorable year indeed. I got the chance to do what I've always wanted to do, only to realize the more I get what I want, the more I question myself.

A sense of curiosity, questioning reality and how god arranges things into place and ended up frustrated because I can't get the answer.

That's why you don't question the divine hands.

Seperti biasa ini kehidupan, kita bukan sebatang pokok yang hidup dan mati dengan mudah. We are human being.

Jadi kesimpulannya, I need a new fucking job. Quit teaching last year and now I'm left with nothing.

Let's make 2012 mine and yours too.

Post Hiatus

2012-02-01T09:44:00.000+08:00

How many times have you got your heart broken?

Aku cuma nak beritahu, I am back...

For now...

p.s: Fuck, I have to polish my writing skill

Berehat untuk sementara

2011-11-29T02:41:00.001+08:00

Aku ambil masa untuk diri sendiri. Walaupun dalam hati ada sesuatu yang menyekat jiwa aku untuk menulis... But what the hell, here I am.

Current objective is to make as much money, to make myself and my love ones happy. Kalau kamu kata money can't make you happy, email aku and I'll give you my fucking account number. So you can see how happy I am when you deposit some of your money into my account.

Back to the story.

Duit, ya duit. Quit my job last month dan aku ada kerja baru. Though the pay isn't as much as the previous job, sekurang-kurangnya aku bahagia dengan apa yang aku buat.

Aku pernah bermimpi untuk naik ke pentas dan hiburkan manusia-manusia seperti kamu yang membaca. Buat semua orang khayal dalam intoksikasi minda yang langsung tak ada kemudaratan. No after effect, no fucking thing. Yang ada hanya emosi. Sedih, gembira, gatal dan ghairah. Mungkin dua emosi terakhir tu ada kesan sampingan.

You wake up one morning, take off your pants dan kamu ada karya-karya agong di celah-celah kaki kamu kerana keghairahan dalam hidup diterjemahkan menjadi perbuatan-perbuatan menghairahkan dengan seorang manusia lain. Yes, that's a fucking STD.

Beberapa bulan lepas, hasrat aku tercapai. I was a kid, then a student. Not long after that, part time writer yang cuba untuk menulis dan menyentuh minda, hati dan alat kelamin kamu semua. Now, I'm a fucking performer. Menyanyi di atas pentas untuk sara hidup.

Setiap hari bila aku bangun pagi aku berkata pada diri aku.

Now, I've achieved one more thing in life. I used to be a fucking writer, now I'm a fucking peformer.

Cheers!

Jamban

2011-10-06T07:02:00.001+08:00

Berehat untuk pergi tandas penulis yang penuh dengan perkataan-perkataan sampah.

You know what I mean.

Later....