The Poison Mushroom

ITEOTWAWKI

2012-12-21T00:00:00.000-06:00

2012-07-09T13:25:00.000-05:00

Keep following me at Incoming Pull

Blizzard leaves Activision, joins Nintendo

2012-05-21T08:57:00.000-05:00

And we keep playing them over and over and over...

Michael Morhaime, president and co-founder of Blizzard Entertainment, Inc., announced today that the company has seceded from its partnership with Activision in order to secure partnership with Japanese powerhouse, Nintendo.

"It just makes sense," said Morhaime in a conference call with his board of directors. "We realized that we don't quite fit in with the Activision Blizzard formula anymore."

Morhaime explained that since his company has decided to focus on just three intellectual properties — Warcraft, StarCraft and Diablo — that it made more sense to partner with a publisher that is known for recycling the same company mascots over and over.

"Blizzard understands what it means to be a top-shelf developer," said Reggie Fils-Amie, president of Nintendo of America. "The best of the best take two or three IPs and run them until the end of time, without ever investing in anything new or original. Blizzard has become a mirror to us, so it only made sense that they'd seek us out."

The newly formed Blizztendo promises to bring exciting things to gamers, such as a new games from franchises like Warcraft, StarCraft, Metroid and Mario.

"We're just happy that we can keep bringing you the same titles and heroes that you've loved since 1985," said Fils-Aime. "Now we can promise you the same titles and heroes from 1994, as well."

How to play single player, offline Diablo 3 [D3]

2012-05-16T09:34:00.000-05:00


A game so hard, you can't even beat the log in screen

In a victory for many gamers — and a slap in the face to PC gaming giant, Blizzard — a group of modders have successfully modded Diablo 3 to include a single player, offline campaign.

Diablo 3 launched worldwide on Tuesday, May 15, just 12 years after Diablo 2 launched. Pre-order sales broke records and it has been described by industry professionals as one of the most anticipated games of 2012.

However, despite the popularity and hype surrounding the game, many gamers attacked Blizzard on forums and blogs for the developer/publisher forcing players to be logged into Battle.net to play a single player game.

The complaints garnered more steam when players discovered at launch that Diablo wasn't the toughest boss in the game — the log in server was.

HaxxoreX posted on the Diablo 3 forums earlier today explaining how he and his friends were able to play the much anticipated game offline.

It took some time, but we have finally figured it out. It's quite simple really and we are positive that after following our steps, no gamer will be faced with Error 37 or Error 3003. You will be able to play the game without any lag or flickering black screens.
Step 1: Open the task manager and find Agent.exe in the processes.
Step 2: Click on end process for Agent.exe.
Step 3: Insert your Diablo CD from 1996.
Step 4: Enjoy!

HaxxoreX said that gamers will lose a couple of the classes in the process, such as the witch doctor and monk, but the others will remain, with minor cosmetic and gameplay changes.

Blizzard quickly responded by taking down the post, but the information had already been spread throughout the internet.

Not more than one hour after posting his single player, offline option, Battle.net became a ghost town.

While the single player, offline option wasn't what Blizzard had planned, the company said that Battle.net has since been running as smooth as ever.

Time to kill children [Elder Scrolls Online]

2012-05-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

Come here, you little mattress stain.

Bethesda confirmed, today, that the Elder Scrolls Online will have the one feature that fans of the series have been clamoring about for year — child dismemberment.

Hot off the heels of The Poison Mushroom's breaking news story regarding the outrage of Skyrim's expansion and the lack of child killing that it will bring, Bethesda hopes that ESO will bring those fans something to cheer about.

"We listen to fans, we really do," said Skyrim's executive producer, Todd Howard. "But we just couldn't fit feticide, infantcide or general child genocide into Skyrim. But that's why we're going to have Elder Scrolls Online."

Unlike other games where players kill orcs, skeletons, dragons, bears and rats, ESO will open the Elder Scroll's playground, literally. Beginning from level one, players will be able to kill children, going against the common trope of Bethesda's popular series. The developer has even hinted that the final raid will take place in a daycare — during milk and cookie time — which is just before storytime and naptime.

"I've heard that they are even planning on having an infantcide mini-game during character creation," said Howard. "I'm really excited about it. Think Dr. Mario meets the Spore Creature Creator."

Valve announces Left 4 Dead 3 [Left 4 Dead 3]

2012-05-02T14:34:00.000-05:00

Like this, only better.

Sorry Half-Life fans, but Valve's E3 plans don't involve the return of Mr. Crowbar, himself, Gordon Freeman. Instead, Valve is planning on revealing the next game in the zombie thriller saga of Left 4 Dead.

Left 4 Dead 3 will be single-player, a departure from the series' 4-player co-op roots. Valve co-founder Gabe Newell said players will take the role of the helicopter pilot from Act 5 of No Mercy in the original Left 4 Dead.

Instead of running and gunning through city streets and claustrophobic hallways, players will fly a helicopter — a la Choplifter — and drop down on extraction points where they will pick up survivors. The players will then have to fly over zombie hordes to a secure landing zone. Then, the procedure repeats at another location.

Looking to out do themselves, Valve said that instead of just a handful of scenarios, Left 4 Dead 3 will have 18 different scenarios. Players can expect to extract the living from areas like a city park, a tropical island, a mall, Muncie, Indiana, and even the moon.

The announcement has been met with warm reception from the gaming community.

"It was time Valve did something to change up the formula of Left 4 Dead," said blackmesasux22 on the Left 4 Dead official forums. "I mean, c'mon, you can only kill so many zombies with a varied and exciting armory to choose from. IMHO, I can't wait to fly a helicopter over the living dead."

Another departure from Valve's typical workings is a cash shop that will be implemented for Left 4 Dead 3. Players will be able to purchase helicopter skins for a small fee, which will include jungle camo, desert camo, Hello Kitty camo and Spies Like Us camo.

"We wanted to make the experience go even deeper this time," said Newell. "We are actually making it to where our Steam client will synch with a user's Facebook friend's list. It will then take the Facebook profile pictures of the player's friends and digitally place them on the survivors. It doesn't get more personal than that."

While Valve wouldn't give any details on the game's story, they did confirm that fan favorite, Zoey, will be returning.

"We've seen some great fan fiction regarding Zoey and how she has begun mating with some of the undead," said Newell. "We feel that fans really stumbled upon something special here and we hope players enjoy the addition of Zoey in Left 4 Dead 3."

Left 4 Dead 3 is expected to launch this November.

Retake: Skyrim is childish [Skyrim]

2012-05-01T15:51:00.003-05:00

Come now, child. Pay no attention to this Daedric mace thirsting for your blood.

Gamers are up in arms as Bethesda — the company behind the Elder Scrolls series — revealed today the first DLC for Skyrim, titled Dawnguard.

As far as details, Bethesda has yet to elaborate. However, leaked code has spread across the Internet and has gotten fans of the series upset because Bethesda has left out an element of the Skyrim experience — killing children.

"I've spent more than 110 hours playing Skyrim," said XxjordilaforgexX via the official forums. "In all of those hours not once have I been able to slice, bludgeon, burn, shock or freeze a child. I mean, c'mon Bethesda, for realz? I can kill anything else in the game, even little helpless rabbits and old women, but no kids."

Another poster added," It's almost like Bethesda has never even met a child before. If they had then they would know that it feels great to be able to kill them in game."

Following hot off the heals of the recent Internet uprising surrounding BioWare's Mass Effect 3 ending, angry Skyrim fans have launched the Retake: Skyrim movement on Facebook. According to the group's About section:

We are here to represent the diehard fans of the Elder Scrolls series who have been promised a world that is allows players to embark on endless adventures, free of the conventional reigns that hold back other rpgs. We won't stop until Bethesda stops this artistic suicide that it is currently doing to itself and lets players do what they've always wanted to do in an Elder Scrolls game — mercilessly kill children. We are Retake: Skyrim. We are many.

The Poison Mushroom has reached out to Skyrim's executive producer, Todd Howard, for comment, but he was unavailable at the time of press.

2011 Game of the Year [Binding of Isaac]

2011-12-12T10:52:00.001-06:00

Shit on you VGAs. And screw your toilet paper, too.

Sure, we've got our Skyrims, our Uncharteds and our Batmans to spend our time milling around with, but it's the magic of the indie game that could that highlights the gaming medium. Due to an outcry from gamers, Edmund McMillen and Florian Himsl's The Binding of Isaac has been unanimously named the 2011 Game of the Year.
The announcement came hot off the heels of the Spike Video Game Awards on Saturday, where Bethesda's Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim took the top nod.
GameTrailers.tv host Geoff Keighley later apologized to gamers via his Twitter account.
"We here at Spike and GTTV apologize for overlooking The Binding of Isaac in our premature awarding of Game of the Year to Skyrim," he wrote. "Let it be known that after a second look it was undeniable that The Binding of Isaac was the 2011 Game of the Year. Grats to Edmund and Florian."
Following the VGA's retraction, several other gaming outlets followed suit.
"How can we deny a game like The Binding of Isaac," said Adam Sessler, co-host of G4's X-Play. "It may have only been developed in just a few months, but that game is the quintessential game of the year."
The Binding of Isaac is a Rogue-like, based loosely around the dungeon exploring concepts of The Legend of Zelda.
According to the game's description, "When Isaac’s mother starts hearing the voice of God demanding a sacrifice be made to prove her faith, Isaac escapes into the basement facing droves of deranged enemies, lost brothers and sisters, his fears, and eventually his mother."
After Keighley's Twitter mea culpa, Kotaku's Brian Crecente followed suit.
"The VGAs got it wrong and so did we," he wrote on his Twitter wall. "The Binding of Isaac is indeed, the best game this year. Hell, I'll go on record saying we'll still be talking about it for the 2012 Game of the Year."
Digital orders for the indie game skyrocketed after the retractions, allowing Steam to cash in by increasing the price of the game by 500 percent.
"I don't really see what all the fuss is about," said McMillen. "I had Arkham City for my game of the year."

My Christmas list [Editorial]

2011-12-01T14:13:00.003-06:00

Let's see, Bobby Kotick and Tom Chilton... bad.

Dear Santa,
This year has been a really good year to be a gamer. I mean, c'mon, we had so many games to choose from — Rage, Uncharted 3, Star Wars: The Old Republic beta, Diablo 3 beta, Skyrim, Assassin's Creed: Revelations, Batman: Arkham City, Gears of War 3, Skyward Sword, etc. I wished I had time to play all of these as much as I wanted but I just couldn't. Anyways, I know you're busy so I'll get right to my point. Here's my top 10 things I would like for Christmas.

1. Please don't let Star Wars: The Old Republic suck. Seriously, there's some good lore there and I would feel like I took a kick to the junk when I wasn't looking if the game bombs. After George Lucas put out Episodes 1-3, I'm just really gun-shy about the Star Wars universe.

2. Please make Blizzard distance themselves from PETA by announcing that the Mists of Pandaria expansion was a giant joke. Those pandas need to be euthanized. On that same token, could my lvl. 85 Orc warrior have an epic panda fur shoulder piece?

3. Can you make Warhammer Online free-to-play? I really liked my Disciple of Khaine, but I can't see spending $15 each month to play him. Of course, I spent more on League of Legends' character skins last month, so I'm not for sure what that says.

4. By the way, can you make League of Legends' skins cheaper? I love playing dress-up, but my retirement fund and college debt don't.

5. Can you make it to where Skyrim stops freezing up on me? Seriously, I love the game but it's getting harder and harder to play. On a related note, my wife would like it if you made me stop waking up in the middle of the night screaming, "FUS RO DAH!"

6. Can I have a train set that comes with a conductor's hat?

7. Would it kill you to find me a beta invite to The Secret World?

8. Can you make an MMO that is Kinect-enabled? I'm just kidding. Can you destroy Kinect?

9. Can I have a puppy that doesn't ruin my games? A dog my roommate had in college hit our N64 while chasing his tail, thus locking up the system. I was on hole 18 in Mario Golf and was shooting -19. Also, just last month one of my dogs got stupid and clothes-lined himself with my SNES controller cord. I had to start my dominating game of Tecmo Super Bowl all over.

10. Can I have Abobo's Big Adventure? Please?

Thanks, Santa! Say, "Hi," to all the elves. Except little Stevie. He can swing from my balls and go to hell.

I'm putting the call out to all of my fellow bloggers out there to give us your Christmas wishes for the video game industry. The task is simple, write your Christmas list and then ask another blogger to write theirs, making sure that they pass the baton onto another blogger when finished. To start it off, I'm looking at Rivs and Ferrel. Let's see what you'd like Santa bring to your hobby or game.

Help a gold farmer today [WoW]

2011-12-01T12:46:00.000-06:00

It was either WoW gold farming or weird Asian fetish porn

Unemployment in China jumped approximately 7.2 percent in November following the news of Blizzard Entertainment's new expansion to the MMORPG giant, World of Warcraft, titled Mists of Pandaria.
Set to be released in the near future, Mists of Panderia opens up players to the land of giant kung fu-fighting pandas, proving the point of the once, great philosopher, Carl Douglas, that everybody was — in fact — kung-fu fighting.
The unemployment hike coincides with the more than 800,000 recently lost subscribers from WoW.
"It is sad to see so many dedicated players have to withdraw from our game," said Mike Morhaime, president of Blizzard. "My guess is that the gold farming companies knew they'd have a smaller pool of players to solicit once Mists of Panaria goes live. You know, since we're going to lose so many players after that. Seriously, we're talking like Warhammer Online sub rates after that."
In response, Morheim revealed in an Activision Blizzard earnings call this morning that the MMO giant is looking into the ~~wallets~~ hearts of its subscribers by letting them help a gold farmer.
"For just pennies a day," said Morheim, "you can sponsor a poor, unfortunate, former gold farmer, allowing them to eat, clothe and bathe themselves in the cesspool that is China. Let them know that there are good jobs in America, where players don't need to farm gold in a virtual world to peddle virtual goods. It's great not to live in China, amirite?"
Those who take part in the program will receive a picture and monthly updates on the former gold farmer that they are sponsoring.
"They'll be great to hang up on your refrigerator door," said Morheim. "It will make all of your friends jealous. They'll see your good deed and all the positive satisfaction that you are getting because you are better than them. Then, they'll sponsor a Chinaman. It's the cycle of giving. It's the circle of life. Hakuna matata."
Bobby Kotick, Activision CEO, applauded the gesture.
"I think it's great that we, as Americans, have so much extra money that not only can we spend it on a carrot-on-a-stick XP grind like WoW, but we can help Chinese indigents with just pennies a day."
When asked if he'd be sponsoring a former gold farmer, Kotick said, "Lol, with my money?"

Kid loses Wii Remote fight [Skyward Sword]

2011-11-21T11:24:00.004-06:00

Still better than Link's Crossbow training

A Sherwood Middle School student was injured Monday morning after he tried to break up a fight by using his Wii Remote as a weapon.
"I was just trying to help this guy from getting beaten up by a couple of bullies," said sixth grade student Billy Short. "I thought, 'What would Link do?'"
Short had recently purchased the Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for the Nintendo Wii, which has the player assume the role of Link, the game's protagonist.
Skyward Sword launched on Friday, Nov. 18.
"I had been playing it all Sunday," said Short. "Actually, my arms were pretty tired from using the Wii Motion Plus."
School officials said that Short witnessed two eighth grade students bullying a fellow sixth grade student in the main hallway just before lunch.
A student who witnessed the incident said Short pulled a Wii Remote from his backpack and jumped in between the sixth grader and the bullies, swinging the Wii Remote like a kid hopped up on crack.
"I think I would have been all right had the sixth grade student not started laughing," said Short. "That kind of distracted me. I didn't even have my Wii Nunchuck. But I thought I would be ok, I had a fairy in a bottle in my backpack."
School officials said the "fairy" was actually a dead moth in a jar of peanut butter.
After Short turned his head to see what the sixth grader was laughing at, the bullies began to pummel him into the floor.
Many students said they could hear ~~Link~~ Short crying for Fi's help as the bullies beat him with his own Wii Remote.
"Go play Modern Warfare 3, noob," said one of the bullies. "We'll show you how Soap beats up a punk."
School officials said while appalled by the incident, they remain unsurprised.
"Think about it for a second," said Brad Schmucker, school superintendent. "It's Zelda. Who nowadays wouldn't get beaten up for admitting they're a fan of Nintendo, or Kinect or Move? He probably should have just tried to roadie run — a la Gears of War — out of there as fast as he could. The bullies would have probably respected that."

Don't dragon watch and drive [Skyrim]

2011-11-18T10:31:00.004-06:00

Can you repeat that? Some asshole is yelling at the sky.

Tens of auto accidents are being reported throughout the nation following the highly-anticipated release of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim on Friday, Nov. 11.
Various police reports all have one thing in common — the driver stating that they were busy watching for dragons in the sky.
"The other driver came out of nowhere," said 29-year-old Blake Stephens, of Indianapolis. "The last thing I remember is seeing some dumbass stick his head out of his sun roof to look up at the sky as he crossed the median into my lane."
Stephens was unable to avoid the oncoming vehicle, driven by Tom Andrews, 21, of Greencastle, Ind.
"I could have sworn I heard something up in the sky," said Andrews. "If there was in fact a dragon, I wanted to be able to turn my car around before it saw me. Skyrim is a dangerous place. I guess I must have drifted into the other lane."
Neither driver was injured in the incident. However, both vehicles were totaled.
"I don't even know what the hell a 'Skyrim' even is," Stephens said.
According to police, several calls came into dispatch reporting dragon sightings, but no dragon was officially spotted in the sky.
"You know, in retrospect, the sound that I heard might have just come from my car speakers," said Andrews. "I was listening to the Skyrim OST."
A Detroit driver caused a riot Tuesday after he stopped his vehicle along I-96 to flee on foot from a dragon in the sky.
According to police reports, 32-year-old Rob Nelson stopped his vehicle in rush hour to run away from "a dragon in the sky that was coming to burn him alive or spray him with an icy breath to drain his stamina."
Traffic was already at a standstill on I-96 due to the heavy amount of commuters.
According to a witness at a nearby Dunkin Donuts, Nelson ran out of his car screaming, "I don't have the shield perk to block elemental damage. Everyone run for your lives or do a quick reload."
Soon after, people started fleeing from their vehicles, screaming in fear.
"There was no way I was going to run," said Mark Fin. "I thought to myself, 'These people are crazy. Why are they running?'"
Fin said he then thought of the amount experience points he would get by taking the dragon down.
The Dunkin Donuts witness said she saw Fin shouting nonsense words up into the sky.
Todd Howard, game director and executive producer at Bethesda Game Studios, the makers of Skyrim, issued a formal apology on the company's web site.
"It was never our intention for Skyrim to overtake texting as the number one cause of vehicle accidents in the United States," he said. "Drivers need to be wary of dragon spotting when on the road. You never know if you get in a crash that the other driver won't be one of those Imperial bastards. The last thing any driver wants to add on top of an expensive car insurance claim is a bounty for having killed an Imperial."
Reports of rampant thievery have also increased since Nov. 11, but it is unknown whether or not there is a connection to Skyrim.