The Stone Giant Ponders

Is It On or Off?

2013-09-25T14:13:00.002-04:00

You may be one of those who happens to have on your vehicle's dashboard the interesting configuration shown in the image on the right. If you are, this blog entry is a public service to you explaining how to use it.

If you want the airbag to be on and the off light is on, insert your ignition key into the slot and turn left to the on position. The off light will go off.
If you want the airbag to be on and off is off, do nothing. The airbag is already on.
If you want the airbag off and off is on, do nothing. The airbag is already off.
If you want the airbag to be off and off is off, insert your ignition key into the slot and turn it from on to off. Off will come on indicating that the airbag is off.

See? It's simple. When off is on then the airbag is off. You have to turn it on to make the off go off. When the off is off, then the airbag is on. You have to turn it off to make the off go on.

I thought this mechanism was so clever, it inspired me to do a little steampunk graphic using a tool called Gimp. (Here, let me Google that for you: gimp.)

Here's the image:

Notice that the off is on, indicating something is off. What odd mechanisms have you seen?

Eff That Noise

2013-08-17T20:44:00.003-04:00

One of the more interesting words in English language is this one. This article will not use that word simply because I have an aversion to using it in general, but especially in a public forum. Instead, I will use the word Frack. It loses some of the strength of the invective, but if you do the translation, you'll get the general idea of where I'm going. Do the translation everywhere you see the word Frack.

This article is not so much about the word, because the Wikipedia article to which I pointed you already has a very fascinating write-up. This article is more about a grammatical nuance that profanity seems to bring to English. I noticed it while I was trying to think of a motto for myself. (Hey, I was out walking and was bored out of my mind. What else was I supposed to be thinking about?) Anyway, the motto I decided I liked best was Frack the Obstacles. (But transposed inappropriately, as mentioned.) I was going to ask a friend of mine to translate this into Latin for me. But as I thought it through, I realized that the translation was very important and had to convey the rancor of the vituperation. I wondered first if there was the vulgar equivalent in Latin, then I wondered how he would conjugate it.

To explain why that is important, I need to back up a little further to the reason why the motto appeals to me. It starts with myself and a different friend pulling into a parking space. A small tree overhung the space and my truck was really too large to fit there. However, heedless, I pulled forward all the way into the spot. The limbs of the tree screeched against the side of my truck. A mass of leaves pressed against the windshield. My friend laughed and said, “Frack that tree.”

That's how I felt as I was walking and thinking about mottoes. Frack that tree. Frack whatever is trying to stop me. I'm going where I'm going to go, and nothing is going to stop me.

Back to conjugation. There is concept in English that allows for a sentence fragment if the subject is understood. For example, if I say, “Go to hell,” the subject You is understood. If I were to translate that into another language, I would use the conjugation that implies You. For example, ¡Vas al diablo!

Unfortunately Frack is not so easy to translate. Frack that tree does not carry the same meaning as You frack that tree. The sentence Frack you! does not seem to be as effective as You frack you! (Although it is quite effective when transposed to Go frack yourself! It just seems to have a subtly different meaning.) There is one famous line in history that has a similar meaning and phrasing. Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead!^† I think the understood subject Everybody would work just as well. Everybody damn the torpedoes – full speed ahead! But again, that doesn't translate with frack that tree. I also wondered if the subject is understood to be self referencing. That is, I frack that tree. While closer, I am pretty sure it simply isn't true. That's not what I would mean if I said it.

The truth is that the tree is irrelevant or worse. By saying, frack that tree, I'm saying that the value of the tree is of no consequence to me. I'm saying that the tree's wishes are of no consequence to me. In fact, I hold the tree in such high contempt that I will make a conscious effort to frustrate that tree's efforts to inhibit me – even if going around or making a small adjustment would be easier for me. It holds more malice than the statement, I don't give a frack about that tree.

This leads me to the conclusion that there is a sentence structure that is allowable in English even though it has no subject. The subject is not understood. The subject is non-existent. Furthermore, it may be that the only time that this is true is when we use the verb form of Frack.

That said, there are two types of feedback I would like from the thousands of people who don't read this blog. The first would be from grammar wonks. What do you think of my conclusion? Does this warrant another exception in the English language? The second from students of Latin. Is there a translation that carries the full connotation behind phrases like Damn the torpedoes and Frack the Obstacles?

^†It turns out that the linked Wikipedia article shows that this is a misquotation of the quote on record. Read it for yourself and see. The original quote could have the understood subject of you as it is a direct order from the admiral.

Chocolate - The Movie

2013-07-09T14:44:00.000-04:00

Is Chocolate a great movie? It's hard to say. Perhaps it is best to judge it as “best-in-class”. The class being kick-ass, Thai-fighter, martial-arts movies.

The movie is produced in Thailand so nearly everyone speaks Thai. Some Japanese and even some English shows up in the script, but very little. The version I watched was subtitled in English. If you have never watched a movie with subtitles, I encourage you to try this one. You will learn that they do not get in the way, and reading them becomes nearly invisible after a while. With a high-action flick like this one, even getting frustrated with the subtitles doesn't detract from the real reason you're watching it: the fight scenes.

Zen Fights Bruce Lee Style

The film centers around a young, autistic girl who is able to mimic the martial arts styles she sees on TV. This was a first for me and a very cool concept. Some reviews say the script is nothing spectacular. I would temper that by saying it is enjoyable. It is definitely better than the typical Hong Kong, dojo revenge flick script. I was fascinated by it. It carries the viewer well between fight scenes.

One of the first battle scenes takes place in a room filled with ice vaguely reminiscent of The Big Boss. To complete the homage, Zen (the main character) fights using Bruce Lee's boxing style. Throughout the movie, she adopts and integrates various other fighting styles, including Jackie Chan's. It's fun to watch her style improve as the fights get more intense. And, believe me, it gets intense.

So, even if you don't like the script, the action is great fun. Zen reminded me of River Tam of Firefly and Serenity, only with more action. Perhaps she is what I wanted to see in River. Who knows? I can only say, “Don't listen to me. (Not that anyone does.) Just watched it.”

Maybe swing back by afterward and whisper your thoughts in the stone giant's ear...or carve them in his leg if you prefer.

(Did he say TIE Fighter?)

Tired Incredible Plot Devices

2013-06-21T12:53:00.002-04:00

Several movies and television shows that are considered to be great have implemented some tired old plot devices that break the movie's threshold of credibility. Perhaps first, I should explain what I mean by threshold of credibility.

Every show establishes for the viewer some understanding of how it's world works. If we are watching a scene in space, we understand that the forces of gravity work differently than the way they work on earth. If we are watching the far past, we know that cars should not be present, etc. This threshold of credibility reaches into the psychology of individuals, physical interaction with the universe, acceptance of supernatural presence, etc. When a show violates its own establishment of this understanding, then it has crossed the threshold of credibility. This happens in most movies and many TV shows I have seen. It is a moment when the observant viewer says to himself, "What the heck?" That moment when 30 seconds of the story line is lost because the viewer is suddenly back in the present world trying to map the event back below the threshold of credibility.

This pondering is not so much about everyone of those events. Some are forgivable. Rather, it is about those that happen over and over again. There are two that bug me.

Close Range Gun Face Off
Two battling opponents end a major scuffle each pointing a loaded gun at the other. If either one pulls the trigger, the opponent is clearly dead. The moment is presented as if each is afraid to move for fear of killing himself. It is meant to create tension. Often, it leads to the protagonist being tied up and put into the belly of the whale.
Script Writers: Will you please stop doing this? If we are to believe our protagonist and antagonist are ready to kill each other, this is not how to do it. The action of pulling the trigger happens so fast that the other will not have time to react. The one who is most ready to kill (usually the antagonist) will pull the trigger first. This is not a hostage situation. I could buy a moments hesitation, but one of them will die. Sadly, however, you writers are too lame to come up with a better plot device. Please try. We viewers are tired of seeing this one.

Last Minute Catch From Free Fall
Someone is falling under normal gravity. A few feet before they hit the ground either they are caught by a flying superhero, or they catch themselves in some feet of heroics. The moment is meant to have us fear for the fate of the character we are presumed to love. It is meant to provide that breath-holding nick-of-time rescue.
Script Writers: How many times do you need to read movie reviews before you get it? It is not the fall that kills you, it is the sudden stop at the end. It does not matter if that sudden stop is provided by the street or the arms of a superhero or the rung of a ladder. The substance the falling individual hits must have some elasticity. Will you please take that into consideration and have your heroes work within the bounds of that reality, or change the reality in some way that makes what you are doing believable?

I know nobody hears this, especially film makers. But, at least now it has been said. If anyone cares to whisper his own favorite overused violation of the threshold of credibility, know that the stone giant is listening.

Requiem For Neil Armstrong

2012-09-05T23:05:00.000-04:00

My hero is dead.

Now that some time has passed and everyone has said his piece about the death of Mr. Neil Armstrong on August 25^th, 2012, I have had time to process my thoughts on his passing. In spite of some harsh words I posted back in January of 2011, Mr. Armstrong was my hero. I suppose it isn't so much the man that I respected but everything he represented. I was born too late to enjoy the moonshots as they happened. I was only three years old when mankind first made his mark on the lunar surface. But, the static excitement of the moment was still arcing in the air in my preteen years. I fully expected that lunar travel would be the norm when I reached my current age. With Neil's passing, I acknowledge that my childhood dream will never reach fruition. I'm stuck on planet Earth.

My life at times is marked by interesting coincidences. This is yet another one of those times. On the weekend prior to Armstrong's death, I visited a used bookstore. It is a quaint shop to which I go not to find a particular book, but to discover something new. Among my finds was a book by Dan Simmons called Phases of Gravity. The book centers on a fictional lunar astronaut from the Apollo program. It takes place in the late '80s—after the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. I haven't finished the book, but so far, it seems to be a lament to the loss of the lunar program. It seems a fitting requiem for my hero.

I would have liked to have spoken to him. I would have like to have met him. A friend once asked me what I would say to him. I didn't know then, and maybe I don't know now. But to shake his hand would have been an honor. I am saddened by his death. And, I am saddened that I will never follow in his footsteps.

Culture Shock - Hospital iZation

2012-03-18T17:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spoke with a friend who had been to India for several weeks as part of a Rotary Club outreach. She indicated that she had met a gentleman who had lost his family in a plane crash and subsequently started a hospital in India.

It was a touching story, but there was a strange twist that I was having trouble following. Several times, instead of simply calling it a hospital, she called it an iHospital. For the life of me, I could not figure out how this worked. Was this some new technology by Apple? Was this an online method of working on patients? Unfortunately, I was so caught up in this, that I missed some of what she was saying and ended up destroying the heart warming nature of the story with my big reveal.

As the story progressed, it became clear to me that I was missing something very important. It turns out that this iHospital has several iDoctors who were helping out somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 iPatients a day.

That's when I realized my error. She was talking about an Eye Hospital. Yeah, I shared my ignorance, and we had a good laugh.

I blame Steve Jobs.

Paid For Writing - Sorta

2012-01-19T10:04:00.001-05:00

When writing e-mails at work, be aware that you are still writing.

Recently, I put together an e-mail article to a friend of mine. (Yes, sometimes my e-mails are much more than simple messages and are, in fact, articles.) This friend has influence with one or two organizations who could use the services of my employer. So, I wrote the message with sales in mind. I also billed my employer for half of the time spent writing the e-mail since the organization could potentially benefit from it. To be fair to my employer, I forward the message to my boss and told him what I had done. He was pleased with the message and asked if he could post the message in his blog!

So, I have been paid for an article and have had it published. Successful writing has humble starts. Here is a link to the post containing my article:

The Perils of Out-Of-The-Box Thinking

Enjoy!

More Or Less Productive

2011-09-29T01:33:00.001-04:00

Congratulations to me! I have a new iPhone 4 and have discovered the joy of being on the Internet any where I go. So, I thought I would try posting a blog entry from the phone. Three words: This is wack.

The problem is primarily this interface. Since it won't turn landscape like most apps, I am reduced to typing this whole thing on a tiny keyboard (which, by the way, doesn't have tactile feedback) with one finger.

It's cool to be able to blog my thoughts from wherever I happen to find that I have free time. But, for now at least, I don't think blogging this way is going to be a regular thing.

Facebook Sadness

2011-08-13T00:24:00.000-04:00

Photos show my old school friends laughing and playing with their children.
The years have been kind, I think, and they have had children late in life.
Then I realize the adults are children of my old school friends.
I feel old.

The Children of Húrin

2011-04-23T22:38:00.000-04:00

About a hundred years ago, I read a short little book about a short little person who had a very big adventure. The book was entitled The Hobbit, and it was written by someone with more than the usual number of initials in his name. So taken was I by this book, that I immediately acquired a much larger work by John Ronald Reuel Tolkien and sliced out a sizable junk of my childhood following Frodo and Gandalf on an epic journey through Middle Earth.

Then, I grew up and promptly forgot about them.

Unfortunately, a fellow named Peter Jackson, along with a host of other people, brought the whole fantasy vividly back to life for me. Once again, I was lost in a fantastical world not so different from our own as to be unbelievable yet not so like it as to be mundane. My memories of the story were weak enough and the technology of the day was advanced enough that I felt transported to a realistic world that mirrored one I had known in my youth. I bought the deluxe DVDs with all the extras. Each film meant that I spent over $100 in movie going and follow-on merchandise. I was enthralled. There was a time when there wasn't $100 worth of merchandise to buy!

Time has passed and the movies are gone. But, Chris Tolkien is still trying to milk his father's empire for all it is worth. Do I blame him? No. I would do the same if I were in his shoes. His efforts are the reason The Children of Húrin became known to me. Unfortunately, I wish it hadn't.

I don't remember JRR's style. Maybe it was different in The Lord of the Rings. But I remember the story. I remember how it gripped me; how I couldn't put the books down; how the tale dragged the boy willing through it. I remember the rapture. None of that was evident in this work. The voice carried the overbearing tone of a storyteller. The names were difficult to pronounce and hard to remember, and it didn't help that the main character ended up having about 10 different ones. The story was hurky-jerky, and seemed initially to have no point. In the end, that was borne out.

The children of Húrin are a doomed offspring. There is no real victory in the end. The story is a tragedy. I hate tragedies. I put the book down several times. In fact, at one point, I put it down for several months. Only sheer determination to finish what I had started caused me to pick it up again. The story's flow did eventually pick up, and eventually I got into it. So, in that regard, I'm glad I finished it. But, I don't recommend it.

If you are die-hard Tolkien fan, you might find some satisfaction in knowing that you have read more of his stuff. Don't expect to find anything related to The Lord of the Rings. If you're a casual fan, however, don't bother.

Rumors of My Demise...

2011-04-19T07:43:00.000-04:00

...never started.

Life threw me a curveball a few weeks ago, and I disappeared from the web. Only a small circle of friends knew why I had disappeared. Maybe someday I will explain here but probably not. Those of you who are investigative types will probably figure it out. To the rest of you, I'm sorry to leave you in the dark. Thank you all so much for your e-mails of support and inquiry in my absence. Here are a few I would like to share:

“Hey, if you're dead or something, can you let us know?” ~4EvrLost

“Stoney, where the $@#$! are you?!?! The #$&#@ web feels so *@#$! empty without you!” ~Em

“Wow, its like you dropped off the face of the earth. I mean, not like earth has a face, but you know what I mean. The moon has a face, sorta, but you couldn't drop off of it...earth's moon. There are probably other moons with faces that don't have enough gravity to keep you on it, so you could drop off one of those. Well, it's not 'dropping off' per se, its more like floating away. But, you probably wouldn't be on one of those anyway. ... Would you!? Oh, man, that would be so cool though. Hurry back and let us know how it went.” ~0v3rQualiphil

Thanks all. Your heartfelt comments are encouraging. Unfortunately, I wasn't on a moon with a face but without enough gravity to hold me. The gravity of the situation was quite enough.
One weird piece of serendipity happened in my absence. All of the bloggers that I follow posted new blog entries after months of hiatus. I guess when I'm not around to distract you with my posts, you find better things to do.

Hard to imagine.

Here's what you have to look forward to in the next few weeks:

I just watched the movie Inception. I will write a review.
My thoughts on the book The Children of Húrin.
Some philisophical ponderings on watching movies performed by actors who's lifestyles you hate.

RuneScape Escape

2011-03-15T10:34:00.020-04:00

If you don't know about MMORPGs, you've probably been busy with real life. In a nutshell, they are digital worlds in which thousands (millions for some) of people play simultaneously and there is generally no specific objective. If it sounds boring, you're wrong.

One of these is called RuneScape. Because it has a rich free play environment, I started playing and got hooked for a very long time. I invested a great deal of time and no small amount of emotion into the character I created. Unfortunately, having my attention diverted to the game nearly destroyed my real-life world. So, I haven't played seriously for a long time. Oh, I've gotten on and seen what changes the game has taken on. I've done some of the usual tasks for nostalgia's sake. But, the hours I used to waste on it are done.

But my character lives.

My character has a combat level of 100. You can see the character's overall stats in the picture. For those of you who are familiar with the game, you will note that some of the member stats have been leveled. That's because I paid to play for a month. (That was a really bad idea for me.) My character has over five million in gold and, of course, wears full Rune armor. There is better armor to be had for free players now, but I won't be going after it. I'm not sure if five million in gold is a lot anymore. Jagex, the creator of RuneScape, tends to manage the economy of the game fairly tightly, so I suspect inflation has been kept low. All-in-all the character is fairly advanced and well situated.

It would be nice if there was some way to recoup even a fraction of time lost playing this game. I've often thought about selling the rights to the character. One would think that selling it would be my business and mine alone. Unfortunately, it is against the rules. My character can be banned if a sale is transacted and Jagex finds out. It can be banned if I advertise the account for sale. I think that's stupid. The rule is probably there to maintain balance. Nobody likes to play a game in which real life money trumps in-game effort. Selling characters allows for players to pay someone to level up the character and then jump in when the character gets good. Unfortunately, banning the sale of characters leaves obsessive guys like me with very few options.

I could give the character away I suppose, but then there is no recouping of loss. Also, it has been my experience that gifted resources are not treated with the respect they deserve. It takes a lot to earn what my character has. It should take a lot to acquire it from me. My character should have a good owner that will respect the time and effort that went into creating it.

So, in the end, I'm left with nothing to do but lament my stupidity and remember fondly some of the great achievements and experiences I had in the game. My character, on the other hand simply rests in limbo, reappearing from time-to-time when I feel like jumping in—a ghost haunting familiar grounds.

Imagine What I Could Do With My Blazing Turkey

2011-03-07T23:08:00.002-05:00

Last Sunday, I cooked the second turkey I've ever cooked in my life. It was also the biggest turkey I had ever cooked in my life. I wish I had taken pictures before I cooked it. It was enormous. It must have weighed 25 pounds. But to me, it was just a challenge. You see, I had done it before. It's a just a matter of scale. How much different can it be to go from, oh, 12 pounds to 25?

Turns out, you need a bigger pan.

After thawing for a week in my refrigerator, I got the bad boy out, rinsed him off and prepped him for the pan. It really amazes me how one of these things can sit in the fridge for so long and still have ice crystals down inside. That clue, and the fact that the stuffing I made did not fill the cavity should have warned me that I was dealing with no ordinary turkey. But, confident in my skills, I crammed giganti-bird into my 12x24x2 pan, set the oven to 350°F and went off to church.

Five hours later, we came home to smoke trickling out of the oven door. My confidence waned. A quick peek showed that, yes, something was burning, but it didn't appear to be the turkey. In fact, the magic button had not even popped yet. Upon closer examination, I discovered that the liquid in my pan was bubbling over onto the floor of the oven. Aha! This is a problem I know how to manage! My confidence waxed.

While I grabbed cup and ladle, the oven insidiously conspired against me. Having left the door open while retrieving the requisite equipment, the bottom burner decided the bird was getting a bit of a chill and needed to be warmed up. It began to glow evilly. Carefully, I ladled a scoop of the glorious bird's juices into my cup. Excellent. Then, I went for the second scoop.

What happened next is much like what happens in a Jerry Bruckheimer film at the height of the action sequences. Apparently turkeys are laced with heavy doses of napalm. (Which would explain a lot of other things if you think about it.) I jostled the ladle and spilled some of the juice onto the wicked burner. My entire visual frame filled with a raging inferno. This turkey's ancestors had reached up from the bowels of Hell and sought to drag me into the fiery depths to endure their torment with them. I beat them back with the ladle.

When I wiped the sweat from my brow, I found that I had not come through unmolested. My brittle eyebrows came away in my hands. My hand had suffered two minor burns. Short though they were, my forelocks had retreated so hastily that they curled back on themselves. Sources say that the sight was laughable. (Said source also did not hesitate to demonstrate laughter as proof of his claim.)

Bowl of Turkey Meat

Alas, the story is not grim. Though the turkey's button never popped, we did eat the fowl creature. I ripped its flesh from its bones and ground the bones into the sewer. What remains is a bowl of meat large enough to feed an army for a week...or perhaps a father and son for a day or two. See the picture of the bowl. The fork is added for scale. The tiles upon which the bowl sits are 8 inch tiles. The picture really doesn't do the magnitude justice.

Unfortunately, now there is a thick layer of volatile, jellied turkey napalm on the bottom of my oven. Best not to use that self-cleaning feature just yet, I guess. Work to do. Ew.

Convict Muses

2011-03-01T08:14:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I had the great privilege of meeting and chatting with a man who spent 25 years of his life serving time for accessory to murder. We talked mostly about his case and his re-acclimation to life when he got out. He was incarcerated in the 70s and released comparatively recently. In one anecdote he related, he got into trouble for getting too near a car. The owner had remotely locked the doors. That caused the car to honk. He thought someone in the car was honking at him, so he approached the car.

There is no training for these men when they are released. They are simply set free. For them, it is as if they had stepped through a time machine. Personal computers did not exist when he went in. There were no CDs, DVDs. In fact, these things were just waning. Giving out a cell number must have seemed like a prison reference. The space shuttle and the Concorde were new. Rocky movies were just getting started.

Many of these newly freed men, having developed no new social skills in prison, simply return to their old neighborhoods, find any former friends that might still be alive, pick up the same patterns and end up back in the same place. This guy was different. He set himself up in a small village and surrounded himself with a few older men who became his mentors. He gradually worked himself back into society until now he has purchased his own house and has no trouble finding work. He has even written a book!

But, that's not all of it. Our man experienced a bizarre case.

I'm careful not to say that he is not guilty. He never said it. He simply explained that he had a bizarre case and carried around the court briefing to show it. Lorenzo was an insurance salesman. He helped out his friend. His friend was arrested for murder. His friend said that Lorenzo knew about the murder. His friend later testified that he had lied about that. This so-called friend was incarcerated for two murders. Neither of those where the murder for which he was arrested. Lorenzo was sentenced to life.

That's right, there were three murder cases. Two for which Lorenzo's friend was incarcerated. One for which Lorenzo was incarcerated. But remember, Lorenzo was convicted of accessory after the fact. So, the man who lied on Lorenzo was never convicted of the murder for which Lorenzo was incarcerated as an accessory. We all know how that's possible. But, it doesn't seem right to me.

I made this comment to him about being in prison for 25 years for something he didn't do: “That could make a man awfully bitter.”

His non sequitur response floored me. I felt it touch a nerve in me. I was shamed by it.

“There's a lot of people in prison,” he said, “They just aren't behind bars.”

NOTE: Lorenzo's book is not about his prison story. Also, it is self-published, so caveat emptor. He told me he is writing his prison story. When that becomes available, I will probably buy it and read it. Watch my blog for the announcements. I'll try to remember to post an update here.

Buckaroo Banzai

2011-02-22T23:02:00.000-05:00

I don't remember when I first saw The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension , but I never forgot the movie. Banzai was a larger-than-life hero who modeled the attitude of the eighties at a fairly deep level. Even now, I can't really put my finger on it. He was every man's James Bond. He was the captain of his soul. He was a caring leader. And, it didn't hurt that he was a modern Renaissance man.

The makers of the movie call it a docudrama. I'm not sure what that means. Pretty sure there is no real Banzai Institute and there never was a real Dr. B. Banzai, so where the docu part comes from is a mystery to me.

Thanks to Netflix, I got to see the movie again. It had always surprised me when I mentioned the movie to friends and they had no clue what I was talking about. Having rewatched, I'm even more surprised. I had forgotten that the movie features Peter Weller of RoboCop fame, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldbloom, and Christopher Lloyd who later got his own jet powered Delorian.

My young mind had somehow idolized the movie, and I remembered it for far more than it actually is. There is no deep suspense. There is no twist ending. The plot is not shallow, but perhaps could be called standard. Yet, the movie is anything but standard. It almost defies classification. It is a science fiction movie in the style of Flash Gordon or The Last Starfighter. To watch it, you would expect that it is a comic book movie. But, I can't find any reference to a comic book that predates the movie. The fourth wall is there, but the comedy causes it to seem very thin. It is an action movie, but the action is not the centerpiece. It has geeky, but very odd technology throughout.

In the end, I suppose it is the attitude of the hero that makes the movie for me. Dr. Banzai is a guy who has all the natural gifts that God has to offer and yet he still cares about people. He respects authority, but doesn't worship it. He walks with intent and has the capacity to answer distractions while staying focused on his objective.

The movie still appears to have a following. I can see why. I still like it, even after all these years.

Ice Storm 2011

2011-02-21T23:48:00.000-05:00

Just another ice storm in the Midwest. There have been worse. Not much to say about it, but here are a few pictures. Click on the picture to zoom.

Evergreen Weighed Down and Parted
Laden Pine
Encrusted Tramp
The Other Evergreen
Natural Ice Sculpture and a Branch That Could Not Hold Out
Beauty Up Close

The Book of Eli

2011-02-17T09:29:00.001-05:00

Watched this post-apocalyptic film last night. Wasn't exactly sure what to think of it. Enjoyed the ride, but when it was over, I thought it felt kind of empty. There were a few thrilling fight scenes, and the Belly of the Whale moment was good, but for whatever reason, I had no empathy for the hero.

Except for an interesting twist ending, the movie was largely predictable in the same sense that The Titanic was predictable. There was, however, a nice surprise in the end that caused me to roll back and watch a few scenes again in order to appreciate them. I'm continuously amazed at how many clues a writer or director can throw at me and still the twist goes over my head. Unfortunately, it's not clear to me that the director was entirely honest with the twist. That is, as I rolled back the reel, I could see something very clearly that I did not see clearly at the end of the movie. (I have been handed a level of disagreement on this by an argumentative cohort. But I'm not convinced I'm wrong.) Watch the movie. Then roll it back and see if you see in the middle what you see at the end. I don't think it's there. If it isn't there, the twist isn't entirely honest.

The underlying plot of the movie is difficult to believe. There is only one copy of the book left on the planet. If you believe that Eli is just a crazy man, you can pass off his comment as simple delusion. It makes that part easier to buy, but it makes other parts of the movie less so. If you believe what Eli says about himself, then his statement about the book carries the weight of God. I don't care how much book burning goes on, it seems highly unlikely that there would ever be only one copy of The Book left.

I didn't much care for the sepia toned cinematography. It gave it a nice desolate feel, but for me, it kept pulling me out of the movie.

I recall three positive messages I took from the movie. One was said to Redridge and Carnegie. There's always a choice. The other two were passed to Solaris by Eli. The first one, stated as a directive to her was to quit whining and change your situation if you don't like it. The second was an observation about his own journey and perhaps a resolution to change. That is, observe to do what you believe and not just get caught up in reading it. Wise words.

Isn't It Ironic?

2011-02-07T14:53:00.000-05:00

It bugs me that the English dictionary is descriptive and not prescriptive. And yet, people still treat it as if it were. The phrase, "look it up" seems to trump a great many arguments. In fact, to my knowledge, there is no accepted authority for the definition of words. English is an adaptive language. If the populous misuses a word often enough, sooner or later, it will appear in the dictionary with the misused definition right there beside it.

I was discussing the definition of ironic with a fellow ponderer. After a good deal of discussion, and because I was seen as an authority, we decided that the definition of the word indicated a sense of expecting a certain outcome from a certain action and achieving the totally opposite result. For example: If you put up a sign that says don't look up, the intent is that you don't want people to look up. But the irony is that the sign will actually cause people to look up.

It took a good deal of discussion to dissuade my compatriot of the notion that ironic meant coincidental. He would say, "Isn't it ironic that when you were talking about bananas, a banana commercial came on TV?!?" No, that isn't ironic. That's a coincidence. I can see how the term can become synonymous with coincidence because the two go hand-in-hand. One incident is the one which is intended to cause the expected or perhaps predicted result. The other incident is the actual occurance of the opposite result. These incidents work in conjunction with each other and therefore coincide.

So today, I went to an Internet dictionary to see how exactly the definition of ironic should be phrased. What did I find? Two references to irony and a reference to coincidence. I didn't find the definition I expected until defnition #6 behind irony. The word appears to be more strongly correlated with sarcasm but is still a notion of opposing expectations.

So, I looked up ironic and found that it was defined in a way I didn't expect. That's ironic. The fact that I was actually looking up the word ironic when it happened is...well...ironic (coincidental). The fact that I just said ironic instead of coincidence is also ironic (sarcasm).

Blah. Language evolution is frustrating. I would use a dead language if using it wouldn't corrupt it by bringing it back to life.

Notice in the definition of irony that coincidence is not mentioned. This implies that the use of ironic to mean coincidental truly a corruption of the meaning. So, I'm still right even if the dictionary says I'm wrong. So there.

Recently Watched: The Philidelphia Experiment, Dirty Jobs, Jim Henson's Storyteller, Jackie Chan Adventure Series

Netflix

2011-02-04T23:22:00.000-05:00

Netflix is on its way to becoming the vehicle that fulfills a prophecy I made many years ago. Someday, I said, we will be able to download movies and watch what we want when we want to. I'm sure I'm not sage. I said it when technology was ready. Many probably saw the writing as well.

A side effect of buying a Wii console for my household is that I succumbed to the temptation to get Netflix. I can watch all the movies I want for one very low monthly price. Admittedly, not all movies are available for instant download but many are. And, watch them I have been. (Use your Yoda voice to say that last sentence.)

So, after countless episodes of Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe and many more to come, after catching up on all the stupid movies I intended to watch but never did, after watching a few movies I wish I had not, I wonder if it is really worth it. There's a whole lot of crap out there. Most of it isn't worth reviewing. I've watched Hudson Hawk and Clue, for example. Hours of my life I will never get back. So what's the point? After all this waiting to get to this really cool science fiction age, was it worth it? Most times, yes. For Netflix? Probably not.

The sad thing is, though... I won't stop my subscription. What else is a Stone Giant to do but sit and watch... and watch... and watch as the acid rain slowly and painfully erodes him away.

Expressing Grief Today

2011-02-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

Grieving today. A very important person in my life is going to be away from me for six months. I've never been apart from this individual for so long. Sunday begins the journey. It's difficult to write about anything else because this is so big on my mind. There are moments when I simply cannot contain the grief, and I break down crying.

I feel alone. I feel whelmed.

My hope is that this will be a growing experience that far outweighs the pain of separation. It will be good for both of us. Maybe I'll grow up and expressing myself through an unread blog–an open diary–won't be so important anymore.

Who knows?

My Hand At Poetry

2011-01-31T23:10:00.000-05:00

I met a man the other day coming from the other way.
In a voice that wasn't nice, I tried to give him my advice.
"Good sir," said I to fix his plight, "the way you're going isn't right."
He smugly grinned and waved his hand and bid me turn and join his band.
The nerve of him to think me wrong, when thus far I'd journeyed long
Down this road of sweat and tears, failed hope and realized fears.
I shared with him my trail of woe and what would happen should he go
Back the path whence I had walked. Yet, how he argued, fought, and balked!
In the end though we fought long and I was right and he was wrong,
He thought I was out of line so he went his way. I went mine.
When within me cooled the righteous fire I had kindled in my ire,
I thought perhaps I'd been unkind to this poor man I'd left behind
For though he was a stupid clod, I was traveling ground he'd trod.

TRON: Legacy - Yet Again

2011-01-30T20:14:00.001-05:00

My previous to posts covering the movie TRON: Legacy may have been a bit unfair.[1][2] Having not yet digested the backlash of disappointment, I was eager to condemn its every facet. Now, having absorbed that crushing blow of having waited 20+ years for a sequel only to be let down, I've decided to append to my observations of the movie's religious references.

It wasn't necessarily complete sacrilege.

** POSSIBLE SPOILERS **

The first movie revealed the inner world of Encom's network and the programs that lived there. They were bound by the Master Control Program. Flynn's arrival from the realm of the creators mirrored the story of Christ coming into our world. He broke the power of Satan (MCP) and returned to Heaven. Great story. A story most of us not only know and love but love to see played out in allegories like TRON.

Given that, TRON: Legacy could reflect our world after Christ's departure. Flynn came back into the world and lived with the programs. He had chosen special programs that he intended one day to take back with him. The story centers around one remaining female variant of these marked programs. Flynn has assigned himself as protector of her and has taught her about his world. This could be taken as an allegorical reference the the Holy Spirit—that other comforter mentioned by Jesus upon His departure.

When Flynn's son came into the world, things changed. A young version of Flynn (CLU) gathered his forces for a final battle. How similar is this to end-times when a false Christ will rise and deceive many? Does it also mirror the prophesied battle of Armageddon? Who knows? But it does show that the setting of the movie is not the first coming of Christ, but the second.

In the second coming, the Bible tells us that Christ will come and take His Bride away. His Bride will be pure. His bride will be chosen—marked. After the catching away of His Bride the church, God will bring final and permanent judgment to the world. (How and when depends a lot on your understanding of what is written.)

In the movie, that is exactly what happened.

I love the word obverse. I have flipped the coin labeled TRON: Legacy and seen its obverse. I have seen the Christian perspective that can be found in it. In my first reviews of the religious aspects of the movie, I saw the reverse.

It makes me wonder now, does every story have the seeds of both?

Advice to Computer Users

2011-01-29T19:37:00.002-05:00

My cousin's computer was recently infected by Koobface. Her system is now down and unusable until we can find a trustworthy source for removing it.

Some time ago, a company with which I worked was hacked through a phishing scam. This event cost them about $750K in actual banked money. Beyond that, they lost about a week of productivity from their accounting, legal, and IT support staff.

Both of these events could have been avoided by following a two simple rules when surfing the Internet:

Never click on links in unsolicited messages from anyone.
Never click on pop-ups.

Following those two rules religiously will go a long way toward guaranteeing safe surfing. But, as stated, they are at the same time too rigid and not cautionary enough. I presented them that way for ease of memory. If in doubt, follow them religiously.

Added Cautionary Warnings
Unsolicited messages are messages that you receive by e-mail, twitter, chat, or any other form of Internet communication. Chat can be on Facebook, AOL, Microsoft Live, Skype, etc. Messages can come through your social network sites as well. These messages can appear to be from friends, from your bank, from some service you use on the web; they can come from sources that appear trusted. They might ask you to click a link to go verify your account. They might ask you to watch a video. They might appear very professional or very personal. Resist the urge to trust them.

Relax
So what if your friend really does want to send you a link to a video with you in it? What if your back really does have a problem with your account? Following that above advice to the letter will cause you to miss it. There are never exceptions. Follow the advice. But, if you get a message from a professional organization, call them. If they're not a brick & mortar organization, navigate to the website directly, using the links that you normally use and not the links in the e-mail. You will most likely find that there is no problem. If the message is from a friend, send a separate e-mail back. (Don't reply to the message or send a copy of the link!) Ask if they sent you a link. If they don't respond, or if they say they didn't, then delete the message. If it came in chat, strike up a conversation, ask them to send it to you via e-mail.

Pop Ups
Use your judgement here. Some pop ups are not only fine, but they are required. (It annoys me when a professional website requires them, but it happens.) Use careful judgment. When in doubt, don't allow the Pop Up. If you are ever told in a Pop Up that you might be infected with a virus, do not click anything on the window. Look at the task bar. You should see an icon related to that window. Right click on it and select close.

There is so much more I wish I could tell you. Maybe I will over time. For now, just follow this advice and you will avoid most problems. Every blogger should have a post like this or a link to a post like this.

2, 4, 6, 8 Time for me to Provigilate

2011-01-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

I think I found my soliloquy. It comes in a white pill dosed at 200mg twice daily. Its title is Provigil. Nine out of ten monkeys prefer it over cocaine.

A few months ago, I quit taking it because I didn't like the idea that I was becoming addicted to it. I needed it. Even though the documentation says it isn't addictive, I was exhibiting behaviors similar to that of an addict when it came to using it. Besides, my copay went up and I wanted to save a few bucks. Those few bucks have ended up costing me hundreds and have potentially made significant scars on various relationships in my life.

Shortly after stopping, I became more lethargic than usual. I became frustrated because I was unable to think clearly or maintain focus on my work. But I suffered through, assuming that my body was adjusting. It wasn't. I became frustrated and despondent. Finally, after about three months, someone important to me initiated a reverse intervention. She told me to get back on my drugs, because I was ruining my life.

Yesterday I spoke with my doctor. He indicated that while Provigil is not considered addicting, we may become dependent on it. Because it isn't addicting, the industry is attempting to refer to it as an alertness medication and not a stimulant. Apparently, drug dependence is not always a bad thing. He pointed out that diabetics are dependent on insulin. Postthyroidectomy patients are dependent on Synthroid. Apparently, some of us just need Provigil.

I took my first dose shortly after seeing the doctor. If ever there was a way to convert Eeyore into Tigger, this is it. The clouds parted, my mood lifted, the accelerator hit the floor and I was cranked! Score one for Provigil.

I don't feel bad about my choice anymore. I've lost a lot as a result of my down time. It is now time to get it back. (If you want to help the giant, click the advert links. Charitable donations will also not be refused! If everyone who's on the Internet just sent me a little bit... Okay, never mind. I can dream, can't I?) Part of the recovery process involves instituting personal changes in my habits, which I now have the energy to make. Maybe someday, with the help of an increased focus on gratitude, a more robust prayer life, and the development of a pattern for living, I will get off the Provigil again. For now though, Rock On!

Eeyore Or Tigger

2011-01-23T17:42:00.000-05:00

Just finished reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It's a good book containing good life lessions. Read it if you get a chance. It will make you think, laugh, and cry.

One particular chapter talks about how you get to choose whether or not you go through life as Eeyore or as Tigger. I don't think we get to choose. I think for some of us, it is easier to be Eeyore and for others it is easier being Tigger. Neither type tends to like the other. But, it's always the Tiggers saying you get to choose. Something to think about. Depending on which one you are, you'll spin it a different way when you think about it.

Not that it matters.