Listen:

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Meanwhile, an April 28, 2009 CNN article stated, “There had been no confirmed deaths in the United States related to swine flu as of Tuesday afternoon. But another virus had killed thousands of people since January and is expected to keep killing hundreds of people every week for the rest of the year. That one? The regular flu… No fewer than 800 flu-related deaths were reported in any week between January 1 and April 18, the most recent week for which figures were available.”^[84]

Aunt Jeanne turned 80 a couple of weeks ago and I was there to watch her cut the cake. Happy Birthday Aunt Jeanne!

Mom and Gia were going down for the whole weekend, hitting up everybody along the way – Mary outside Philly, Katie in Baltimore – it was only a week after we came back from Thailand and I didn’t want to hit the road like that again. Xianyi had to study (of course – that’s how she gets those scholarships, baby!) but I couldn’t miss this.

So I left the house before six on Sunday morning and took the Chinatown bus down to DC – was there before noon and took the metro up to Silver Spring. Mom and Gia picked me up and drove me to the party. A few hours later they drove me back. But rather than go right back, I had other plans.

I skipped over to McGowan’s place for a while, and then Tuck picked us up and we went out to Clyde’s, a DC burger and beer institution. The irony is that, many years ago, while I was a student at Georgetown, Aunt Jeanne took me out for brunch at Clyde’s. This was a different branch though – they have clearly made a ton of dough, as this place is huge.

AND it’s right next to the Chinatown bus, so I was able to run over there right after downing my last beer.

Just as I was thinking how I was so clever and sturdy, pulling off a one-day bus trip to DC, the cold that had been latently hanging around all week hit me with full force. It was kind of a miserable ride back. I arrived in NYC Chinatown after 11 – and that’s not exactly home yet. At night, it seems, the PATH is always a half hour wait. By the time my sick ass crawled into bed it was nearly 1am.

I slept through my alarm on Monday and was feeling awful – had to bag work and sleep in. But I’d still say it was all worth it.

A recent email from Twitter - click to enlarge

Pretty cool, right? But is it really Yoko Ono? This recent NYT article talked about celebrities who have people blog or twitter for them. But my gut tells me Yoko is doing this on her own. Check out her feed.

I have been meaning to write about our trip to Thailand since we got back a week ago, but just couldn’t find the will to sit down and get it all out there. I guess maybe I just wanted to bask in it a little longer before trying to sum it all up.

Belly-Laughin

If I had to describe the whole experience in a word, it would be laughter. Put 50 old friends back together for 3 days and nights partying in celebration of a joyous event, and what you get is barrels and barrels of belly-laughs. Smiles plastered on for days. Aching stomach muscles and streaming tears.

We left on a Friday night and after 30 hours, 3 plane rides and a 90-minute taxi it was lunchtime on Sunday and we were on a blissful slice of beach called Khao Lak. Jarrett and Candice were there to greet us, and after we checked in we got changed and walked to a little family-run restaurant next door, where we could sit and look out at the endless sea while eating fish caught that day, slow-grilled in banana leaves and served with sweet and hot sauces for dipping delight.

After lunch we went down to the beach and went swimming in the warm, blue water. It felt like diving into a giant bath – a sauna. We laid in the sand and felt the warm sun on our faces. Later the sky darkened and he heard thunder, but were safely ensconced in our cabana by the time the storm rolled through.

The rains came once each day, but rather than dreading them, we welcomed their arrival. They offered a respite from the action, and some pretty spectacular lightning and thunder. But they never lasted long, and the evenings were free and clear for revelry.

It was a bit of a downer when we realized the rains were going to arrive at the time they’d planned the wedding ceremony – sunset. But Chris, Coley and Dan came up with an ingenious idea – they brought sand up from the beach, along with kelp and shells, and created a little circle of love for the happy couple to stand in while reciting their vows. And lucky me, I got to be the third pair of feet in that circle.

For my friends Jarrett and Candice had decided to bestow upon me quite an honor: they wanted me to marry them.

The idea cropped up about six months ago, I think, and at first I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t a totally hare-brained scheme. I assumed it was Jarrett’s idea, we having been close so long and him being my best man in China – so I reached out to Candice to make sure she was cool with this, because I know weddings are really about the brides. It’s her day. So I was really happy and humbled when she said they had decided this together.

Reverend Rind

The plan was vague for a while, but it was always assumed I would have something to say. For six months, I gave this nearly no thought whatsoever. I am a procrastinator by nature, and the weight of importance attached to significant events tends to make me procrastinate more. Also, every time I started to think about what to say, I would think about being back in boarding school with Jarrett – which I knew that no one wanted to hear about at a wedding. Plus I was always using a “best man” speech as my reference, and I had to keep reminding myself that the basis should probably be something closer to a sermon – or what have you.

Anyway, it turns out the day of the wedding I have written absolutely nothing. But I did do some preparatory work the night before. Candice’s grandmother was the oldest family member at the ceremony, and being the grandmother of the bride puts you in the role of matriarch. I had never met this woman, but I knew that she had hosted Jarrett and Candice at her home in Shanghai. I engaged her in conversation during the dinner party for fifteen minutes or so, introducing myself and complimenting Candice, and asking her opinion of Jarrett. When she said she really liked him, I knew I was golden for the speech. This woman speaks only Chinese, so I was also feeling very confident in my language abilities, like “I still got it!” But she was very kind.

The next day we did a run-through of the ceremony in the afternoon, on the beach, before it started raining, and then I took an hour back in my room to put some thoughts on paper. In the interest of preserving the historical record, here is what, to the best of my memory, I wrote:

Welcome to Thailand! And welcome to the wedding of Candice Lin and Jarrett Wrisley. We are all gathered here today to bear witness to the consummation of a love that has grown, through fits and starts, over the last five years.

There is perhaps no greater testament to the characters of these two individuals than the fact that so many friends and family traveled so far to be with them here, on their special day. Our friends Candice and Jarrett only had to ask, and we would not have missed it for the world.

Of all the guests here today, I would like to single one out in particular. Candice’s grandmother has hosted the young couple many times at her home in Shanghai, and she has had the opportunity to get to know the man courting her granddaughter. Last night she told me she was happy with Candice’s choice, because “Jarrett is a good man.” When you have grandma’s seal of approval, you must be doing something right.

Jarrett’s own grandparents are surely watching today’s ceremony from their own special seats, and I know that they would be proud to see their grandson and the beautiful, intelligent young woman he has chosen to be his wife.

The Lins and the Wrisleys have all expressed to me how happy they are to see this union, to know that these two wonderful families will be forever joined.

That wasn’t exactly how it went, though, because I got nervous at a few points and forgot my lines. The second time I blanked, I had to consult my notes because I just couldn’t remember my own name! I was lucky to have a very friendly crowd.

There were two poems read by Natalie and Michael, and then we did the vows, which was easier since I just had to read what they’d written out, remembering to project and enunciate. And they had some laughs built in there, which was nice.

I proclaimed them husband and wife “by the power vested in me by … my two good friends!” Cheering, kissing, smiling and weeping. It was truly, truly sweet and beautiful.

I’ve started a redesign of PortfolioFamily.com, but due to some other web commitments I’ve made, it’s gonna be awhile before I have a chance to get back around to it. I promised my dad almost a year ago that I’d put a site together for his business – he’s a doctor, an ophthalmologist, so he’s a lifesaver for your eyes. He does laser surgery and lots of other stuff, all types of eye surgery and everything else all the way down to just figuring out what kind of prescription you need for your glasses. A couple months ago I woke up with a nasty pain in my eye and I called him, and he was like, well, you might have a corneal scratch or you might have an ulcer, I can get you some drops but do you have insurance? Cause they’re gonna be like a hundred bucks – I mean, I could just give you some if you were here but you’re at work. I said, well what do you think? How about I just wait till later this afternoon and I’ll come over and get some? And he said – and this is how I knew it was serious because my dad is always – always – totally cool about the situation, playing it down – he said, well, if you’ve got an ulcer then I’d wanna jump all over it. So he phoned it in to the pharmacy across the street from my office and I paid fifty bucks and had the drops within 20 minutes, and my eye was fine by the end of the day. Problem solved. That’s the advantage of having a doctor for a dad – and I’ve loved being a doctor’s kid my whole life.

So you would think I would have built the damn site by now, but no – I’ve totally slacked on it. In fact, the domain is coming up for renewal, so it’s been a year. Pathetic. My goal is to get this thing out of the way before I get to Thailand – in fact, I should be able to do it faster.

Then I’ve got a site I’m building for Xianyi, for a super top-secret site she’s planned out for herself which I can’t tell anyone about yet cause it’s so fresh and so clean. But it’s gonna kill.

And then I’m helping Aunt Jennifer build her professional site cause she’s reached a point in her business where people are asking where she is online and she has no answer, so we came to an arrangement to trade services. She is a master of the Alexander Technique, which is a system for relieving stress and tension in the body by practicing proper posture. Lord knows I need some of that with my chronic cubicle cramps. It’s hard being a corporate warrior.

I’m getting excited about golf again as the season approaches. Tiger made his return to the game after an 8-month break for injury. He wasn’t too stellar: he beat a no-name in the first round of the Match Play WGCs, then lost to Tim Clark, a decent but not incredible Englishman South African. But I’m getting the bug again. It’s funny how my ardent love for golf really does die for a few months each year – I guess the weather has a major impact on it. But maybe I just need a few months off every year. Anyway, I’m bringing my clubs to Thailand.

We watched the Oscars earlier this week and though most of the winners were easy calls, the show was a good one. I liked the feature of having five previous winners come out and give speeches about the nominees, because it put a little more emphasis than usual on the worthiness of nomination. Although there were some backfiring moments, like when Adrian Brody said, “If you Google the resume of Richard Jenkins you’ll find he’s done over 60 films…” – Google the resume? Did it feel unseemly to anyone else that he threw Google in there? Oh, and the dancing numbers were lame, especially the one with Beyoncé, which was a total waste of her voice. Though it was better than “Single Ladies,” a song I hate with a singular passion.

UPDATE: Let me not forget Wrisley’s follow-up to the Oscars, his live report from the very slum of Slumdog!

The Cleveland Orchestra was not what I had in mind when I went looking for tickets to the symphony – no offense to Tristan, but Cleveland is not the first city that comes to mind in that department. But I give respect where it’s due; they put on a very strong performance. The first piece was a Mozart symphony (No. 25 in G minor), which was nice, but the second piece, Debussy’s Nocturnes, was outstanding. It brought together all the elements of a beautiful symphonic piece, the grand crescendos, the deafening silence, and all the unique sounds that you don’t get from pop music. There was one point where I was scanning the stage to find the soloing oboist.

Unfortunately the last piece was a real downer, Janácek’s Slavonic Mass. Talk about a snoozer. I couldn’t dig the melody, couldn’t even find the rhythm. I ended up dozing off in the middle of it, a trick I must have picked up from my dad, who in the old days could be counted on to fall asleep before the end of the overture when we used to go see the Nutcracker.

I managed to rouse myself towards the end of the Sanctus and we watched the conductor and the four soloists take several more curtain calls than I thought necessary. We lingered while people filed out and then walked down to the edge of the level we were sitting on, the Dress Circle, and had a look around. Carnegie Hall is truly a majestic theater, a testament to the ages. As we stood there taking it in, nearly alone in its hallowed warmth, it struck me that that is exactly what I want this marriage, this love, to be.

The Black Keys at Terminal Five

Thanks to Jeremy’s foresight, I was at Terminal Five last night rocking to the Black Keys. What a show!

Jeremy asked me back in November whether I wanted to go to this show, and he got the tickets well ahead of time. It ended up sold out, for good reason. These guys absolutely rock. Just two of them, guitarist-vocalist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney, make this incredibly full, vibrant sound that reaches directly into your gut. Very powerful stuff.

Before the show, we met at a tavern near Jeremy’s apartment. Along for the night was Uncle Stu, whom Jeremy refers to as Disco Stu, playing on Stu’s hatred of disco. The three of us set out for Terminal Five, a relatively new venue on the west side. The place is huge, and can fit 3,000 people. The show was sold out, so I guess that’s how many heads were filling up the joint. Down on the floor you could not get far even when the opening act was just starting.

That act was the Heartless Bastards, out of Memphis. Their style can be described as white trailer trash rock. The singer was a grumbler, and I didn’t get into the music at all. But they clearly had a lot of fans in the place, including a tall black woman next to us who was jumping with the music and singing every word. I asked her about them in between songs and got a little background info that may have made me more sympathetic to them, because by the last song – which was a solo by the singer, accompanying himself on guitar, I was applauding without irony or disdain.

There was a long pause before the main act came out, and it was fun to see some college dudes acting the part near us, totally excited to be out at the show, experiencing the city. Despite the harsh patting down all received at the door, reefer smoke was all around, and security was not going around cracking skulls as they are prone to do in many venues. Of course, when there’s three thousand people on the floor, you can’t really walk around policing them.

I started a couple of chants in the interim while we got impatient, and the college dudes were a great help here. I simply started in near one of them, “Let’s GO! Let’s GO! Let’s GO” and he and his buddies took over from there. I did it again with “Black KEYS! Black KEYS!” and I feel that this overt display of desire was one of the primary signs that the boys backstage were looking for in order to come out, so I’m glad of the small part I played in the evening’s activities. If you think I’m full of myself, well, there’s lots of other blogs on the internets you could be reading right now…

My skillz were strong again towards the end of the show when I suddenly said to Jeremy, “Let’s get our coats.” It proved prescient as we avoided a mile-long line that formed as soon as we’d got them.

What happened in between was your standard rock and roll show, with the lights, the blur, and the pure noise briefly rendering a gangly mass of beings into one shining, swaying organism, steadfast against the void.

Don’t get mad after you read this. Because you know it’s true, don’t be afraid to embarrass yourselves, yell it out:” I’m poor, I’m a slave of credit cards!” Finally, you roar:” save more, live better -bailout me!”

1. Stop dream big! Dream realistically-don’t buy a house that will cost you 30 years-forever to pay back. You don’t need a house so big, you don’t need a pool, you don’t need 3 garages; you don’t need a huge back yard for growing vegetables, because you won’t grow them anyway. You don’t need 5 bedrooms with 5 bathrooms, you also don’t need 400-1000 sq feet kitchen, because you are not running a hotel business. Living in an apartment or a condo is more efficient for your cash. Ohh! You also don’t need to have so many dogs at home, they cost money and your living spaces.

2, Say No to your credit cards! Don’t look at them, don’t use them. Carry 1 credit card with you for EMERGENCY (emergency is not equal shopping for up to 60-90% off sales in retail stores on your way home or during your lunch break), such as accident. Stop looking at designer’s product, because you know you cannot afford it- credit card is not for things you cannot afford.

3. Fiscal policy: increase government spending, decrease taxes for low income family (Under $150,000/year per household), but increase taxes for high income individuals  (More than $150,000/person); increase transfer payments.

4, CEO/CFO/COO whoever is C?O in crashing banks, investing firms, you don’t deserve a dime in next 3 years, you had enough in the past 10 years.

5, Don’t buy cars that doesn’t much your living style. Don’t take taxi if you need to skip lunch for it. Use more MTA, so MTA won’t raise their price.

6, Don’t waste your money on diet, it’s never going to work. So eat better at home to get stronger and smarter, then you’ll have energy to make more money!

7, Organic food? You won’t die if you live with out it. Normal fresh food won’t kill you!

8, Don’t have 2 more children if you know your income barely cover your present household’s expenses.

9, You don’t need to have a glass of wine everyday. We don’t live like that anymore. Stop dreaming you’re living in France in 18s century. You may spend your booze money on something else, such as save them in your checking account. So that you don’t need to swipe your credit card every single time, that’s embarrassing.

So wake up, stop flying in your dreams. Think million times before you spend your dollars. Don’t think if you’re shopalcoholic, because you’re hopeless, just need to marry a millionaire, simple solution.

Nothing makes Xianyi happier than a good meal

Xianyi and I celebrated the Chinese New Year last weekend with two days of feasting. On Saturday, we took the long train out to Flushing for the first time to see the Chinese community out there. What an excursion – it takes over an hour to reach Flushing on the subway. When we arrived, we checked our info and started walking along Roosevelt Ave, looking for a specific restaurant: Xiao La Jiao (Little Hot Pepper). We walked for like 20 blocks looking for the place in the freezing cold, only to reach the end of the street without finding it. A phone call to the restaurant told us that we had gone all that way in the wrong direction. Sweet.

So we walked all the way back, and it turned out that the restaurant was almost right outside the subway station. Seems that the address Xianyi had pulled off the net was wrong – perhaps user-submitted.

Ma La Yu - Spicy Fish

Anyway, we sat down and ordered a huge pot of ma la yu – spicy fish. There was enough food there for five or six people, though it was just the two of us. We took it home later, froze it, and Xianyi just finished the last of it yesterday.

Sunday we met up with some new friends for lunch in midtown – Sichuan Express. There were four couples in total, all people that passed through Shanghai at one time or another. Some of them we’d met over there, some here. One couple brought their four-month-old baby boy. We shared a big hotpot meal and toasted to good luck in the new year.