It’s a new month and the start of a new challenge. Before I start on this one here’s a quick update on my challenge from last month.

The challenge I set myself for January was to finish writing my book. The update is that I didn’t finish and I haven’t written as much as I’d like but I’m so glad I set myself the challenge because I am much much further than I was or would’ve been had I not done this experiment.

The upshot is that setting yourself a deadline on things you’ve wanted to do, but put off for quite sometime, is the perfect way to give yourself the kick up the butt; how else are you going to get yourself to take action?

When you do the challenge make sure you tell people and get them to hold you accountable.

The main aim is to make progress. It doesn’t matter if you succeed or fail, just that you get started, keep going, and get as close to your target as you can.

With my book I’m nearly at the point where I’m ready to start sending sample chapters to publishers and that was more important to me than completing it.

Challenge For February

Initially, the challenge I wanted to do in February was observing 30 days of silence but because of the way things have unfolded and the extra shows I’m doing on my radio station, I’ve decided to postpone it until a later month.

So I had a think about a conversation I had with fellow comedian Hyde Panaser and also fellow blogger Arvind Devalia regarding encouraging other people to adopt this idea and concept of doing a 30 day challenge.

So I thought why not use February to see how many people I could get to sign up to doing a 30 day challenge for March. My goal is to get 1000 people to commit themselves to taking on a challenge for the Month of March.

Why not make a commitment and do something you really want to you? Is there a task you’ve put off and would like to accomplish?

Have you always had the idea of writing a book and never done it?

Do you want to be paint drying watching champion? (Yep, they actually have that now!)

Whatever it is, use this opportunity to get started and I’ll be more than happy to support you.

I don’t want to create a tribe just for the sake of it. The whole point of this is I want to show you that you can make a massive shift in your life if it’s something that you’ve been meaning to do for a long time.

You will have to make sacrifices. You may need to put off a few smaller insignificant things (Like your children perhaps? [kidding]) but in the long run it will be truly worth it.

The other benefit of creating this tribe is so that you will get to know several people who are attempting the same thing as you and you will have the opportunity of supporting each other.

What are you waiting for?

If you want to join me in doing a 30 day challenge for the month of March leave a comment below to join me.

You can do anything you like so long as it’s something significant for you and will make a big impact on your life or make a big contribution to your community.

Today is day 18 of my 30 day challenge.

I wish I could say that I was as far along as I’d like to be with writing my book but what’s more important to me is knowing that I’m making progress.

The two biggest parts when undertaking a task like this is i) to start and ii) to keep going.

What about finishing? The truth be told, I don’t think there is ever a point when you finish. There’s always room for improvement but it’s just deciding when to finish for the moment. It’s something I’ve learned through doing stand-up comedy. A routine is never truly finished, you just keep making it better and edit as you go.

The problem with a book is that once it hits the printing press it’s a lot harder to amend.

To start is not the hardest part. Most people can usually begin a task okay, but then they stall because the gravity of the task pulls them down, and they eventually let the endeavour fall to the wayside.

There are two reasons for that; i) it was an endeavour that truly wasn’t for them, or, ii) once the reality sank in, laziness, procrastination or the need for perfection stopped the momentum in it’s tracks.

Procrastination and laziness are just poor habits but the last part, the need to perfect from the beginning, is a much more subtle force.

Whilst I’ve been writing, the need to perfect as I’m going along has been slowing me down. I realised that when I was stuck at 6000 words for a few days. I was just editing rather than writing.

The editing can always come later. You just have to start and keep going. Even if what you’re writing is absolute pants! It doesn’t matter, what matters is you write and get the content on paper. Get your ideas down no matter how rough it may be, just get them down.

How To Start

Start! Just Start! If you’ve always wanted to write a book, start right now!

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the exact direction of the book, or what it’s going to be called, or how sexy you’ll look on the back cover, or how rich you’ll become! Just get a pen and paper, or for those of you living in 2012, grab your iPad or Laptop and just begin!

Go and do a 1000 words, or write for 30 minutes; whichever comes first.

How To Keep Going

Keep Going! Don’t be tempted to constantly reread what you’ve already written. Even if you duplicate your work you can always amend it at a much later stage. Once you’ve written a 1000 words, take a short break, stretch your legs, have some water and then start again or repeat the next day.

Yes, YOU DO HAVE THE TIME! If you don’t you must make the time. If you let one thing get in the way you’ve started a new habit of letting excuses get the better of you. And each time you do it the habit gets stronger.

Keep going, and going, and going. As you write more and more, the more you’ll want to write. More will emerge from your mind than you ever thought possible. If you say you’re going to write a 50,000 word book you might think that you don’t have the ability to pull it off. Keep going and before you know it you’ll be at 10,000 words, then 20,000 and so on.

Don’t focus too much on how much you’ve written. At this stage it’s more about cultivating the gorgeous and sexy habit of starting something and keeping it going.

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Have you ever wanted to start something. Did you let small excuses and poor habits of laziness get in the way? You can start right now, this very second! Go on…and let me know how you’re getting on.

P.S. This article was written in just 22 minutes; the fastest I’ve ever written a post in. It may not be perfect; it may have one or two errors. Who cares?! I started and I kept going. I can always perfect it later.

Have you ever heard a piece of music and fallen in love with it straight away? However, as time went by, you fell out of love with the song just as quickly?

Have you ever heard a piece of music and not liked it straight away? However, as time passed the song grew on you, and then the song became one that you loved for life?

Do either of those sound familiar?

I was in a coffee shop speaking with a friend recently and this topic arose. It’s a subject which has been in the back of my mind for years but it’s something that I’ve never written about.

Take the same principle but now consider the music aspect just an analogy of many aspects of life including relationships and friendships. In those cases too the same rule has always applied in my life.

Any time I’ve met someone and we’ve hit it off straight away, the relationship has always fizzled just as quickly as it started. It’s something I touched on when I answered this question from a reader.

The contrary is also true. Any time I’ve met someone and the relationship has had a chance to develop over time, the relationship has always lasted.

In my case there are rare exceptions to the rule but that pretty much sums up my life as it is right now and the people around me.

This conversation was sparked when the friend and I were talking about relationships. She said to me that she’s been dating someone and that they’ve been on four dates. She really likes the person but has yet to feel the ‘spark’. She asked my advice on what she should do and my opinion was simple.

A relationship will not necessarily flourish just because the biological spark existed from the offset. In fact, now, my first reaction nowadays is to be slightly more cautious no matter how tempting it might be to go full throttle.

I said that the lack of the spark could also be a prelude to a wonderful relationship. A deeper connection that goes beyond the physical connection; beyond a chemical reaction to an external stimulus.

2011 proved to me several times that jumping in at the deep end was unwise.

So I said to my friend to give it time. I used my music analogy and she said that it made sense and felt right to her. It reminded her of something that her dad had said to her which was “in the past, marriage was a path to love. But now, love is a path to marriage.”

Override

Look at your life, has this been the case with you and does it mean it will always be that way? No, it doesn’t have to mean that at all. All it means is that if you do find you have an instant spark with someone that it’s worth taking a slightly more conscious approach.

Taking a breath and not getting swept away with the current is actually the choice of someone who is wise and experienced. I’ve actually noticed older and wiser people who have done this with me. I never knew or understood the reason at the time but after recent events it made perfect sense to me.

It’s only an assumption but I’m sure it’s sound. I’m positive that they’ve been through similar experiences hence took a step back.

Going With The Current

Aren’t we supposed to go with the flow? Aren’t we supposed to be in the natural flow of life and let the current take us forward as is talked about in many Law of Attraction books?

The answer to that for me is very simple, no! We don’t always understand why the current is leading us where it is or why we happen to be in that particular river.

If you do not like where your current is taking you, you’ve been given the power make a different choice. You may already be in the wrong river and be looking for the one that is right for you. When you do find the right one that’s exactly when you can go with the flow.

The same applies with relationships. The journey is not always black and white. You don’t always know the real reason you’ve connected with a person. If you have an instant spark, you can afford to approach the relationship with patience.

Ever since it became 2012 I’ve had a truly fabulous feeling that this year is going to be amazing. I don’t just want amazing things to happen to me, I also want to make amazing things happen.

I feel it’s a year of experimentation and so what I’m going to do is each month of 2012 I’ll be setting myself a different 30 day challenge.

I have yet to plan what I’m going to do in each month but here are some of the ideas I’m toying with and may try…

1. 30 days of No T.V. – I’d hardly describe myself as a television addict but I do think sometimes I could make better use of my time. I’m going to give it up for a month and see what I can achieve with the extra free time.

2. 30 days of 5k. – It’s likely I’ll be doing this in February or March; since I’ll be running the Marathon in April this will contribute to my preparation. I got bored of running but I used to love it so I’m going to see if I can find the joy in it again.

3. 30 days of no speaking. – This will be a real challenge, especially considering I’m a radio presenter. The only way I’ll be able to do this is if I only speak for my show but at all other times I observe silence. If John Francis did it for 17 years I’m sure I can manage it for 30 days.

4. 30 days of fasting. – This will be incredibly tough since I love my food! I’m sure people would advise me against this challenge but I’m going to do it anyway just to see what the outcomes is.

5. 30 days of meditation. – I’m not going to spend the entire time in meditation, that would be impossible. I’m perhaps going to do 2 – 3 hours each day.

6. 30 days of selfless deeds. – I’m not sure about this idea as yet. This is something that someone suggested to me but I don’t really believe that any deed can ever be selfless so I’ll give this one a bit more thought.

7. 30 days of polyphasic sleep. – I tend to sleep in a biphasic pattern anyway but I again contemplating giving this a go.

8. 30 day to completely de-clutter. – As I was thinking of challenges for each month the idea of clearing my clutter came to mind. A few days later I saw Leo post about the Clutterfat Challenge and so it seemed like a bit of serendipity.

There are more ideas but those are just a few that I’m giving serious consideration to.

January

For January I decided I wanted it to be a month of productivity so I’ve given myself 30 days to finish writing my book. So far it’s going well and the plan is to have the bulk of the book finished by the 31st of January and have a synopsis with sample chapters ready to send to publishers.

So far I’ve written around 6000 words and expect the book to be anywhere from 30 – 50,000 words.

The reason I’m doing it this way is because I’ve always found that a time constraint has been a great motivator to me. I am inspired to write but I let the silly things get in the way of writing. This is why I also often use my 30 minute technique when writing articles.

What is the book about?

For now I’m keeping the book completely under wraps because it is a one of a kind. No one has written about the subject I’m covering or in the way that I am. It’s something completely new and my aims are simple; to make the readers laugh, cry and inspire them to do amazing things.

If you’ve lost your direction already for 2012 and your resolutions are already an #epicfail or they’ve flopped. Try challenging yourself for 30 days and see what you can do.

Firstly, a very happy new year to you! It’s the beginning of 2012 and you’re probably brimming with enthusiasm, full of resolutions and promises to yourself. How many of you have let them slide already? Have you already said “whoops, today didn’t go so well, I’ll start tomorrow now!”

Tomorrow never comes! Don’t start off the year in such a way; if you do, you’re doomed to fail before you’ve barely begun. Do you let other people down in the same way you do yourself?

Whether it be the first day of the new year or any other time, you must find a way to start and continue with the same energising vibe that put the idea in your head in the first place.

This is why it is the perfect time to hire a Life Coach. With resolutions come responsibility. The responsibility is to yourself but if you have a tendency to give up on yourself quickly then the ideal way to make sure you keep going is to have someone take the journey with you.

Back when I first started coaching I got myself a Life Coach. She was someone who kept me on the straight and narrow, and she made sure I did all the things I said I wanted to do.

The desires in my head and heart gradually became aligned with my actions.

That is one of the toughest parts of life, actually doing what your head and heart wants. Don’t let the little excuses stop you from really moving forward with your life.

Don’t let the little distractions keep you away from doing the things you really want to. You can skip watching TV for a bit. You can still meet up with your friends but make sure you’ve done something towards your goal. Get your homework done first!

That’s just the beginning but, if you’re really serious about making a difference in your life in 2012, and you don’t want to be making the same resolutions again in 2013 then you need a Life Coach and here are 20 reasons why you should hire me.

1. If you sign up with me in January coaching is half price! Instead of Paying £225 for 3 sessions you just pay £112.50. Further sessions will be at the normal rate.

2. If you’re already a client or if you’ve had coaching with me in the past, and if after the month of January you recommend anyone to me you’ll get a 50% referral fee. (Not to mention lots of good karma!)

3. I’m cheaper than an iPad. A bit of retail therapy can make anyone feel better but the effects are usually short lived. It you truly want to feel better for a longer term then Life Coaching is the way to go.

4. When you stray from your resolutions I’ll be there to keep you honest.

5. It will be the cheapest invest in improving your life you’ll ever make.

6. Combine the enthusiasm from new years with the inspiration and incentives you’ll get from me and you’ll will become an unstoppable force.

7. Coaching is cheaper and safer than a boob job or penis enlargement. Would you like to boost your confidence? Coaching has the potential to do a lot more for you than cosmetic surgery.

8. Life Coaching is cheaper than a holiday (and the effects will last longer) The problem with a holiday is that it ends. The coaching process gives you a gift you take away with you for life.

9. You will find it much easier to overcome the obstacles you face when striding towards your goals.

10. You’ll learn that happiness is just a state of mind. It doesn’t come from the events that happen outside of you, only from what you think within.

11. You’ll learn how to be in the moment and take yourself away from the worries of the past and future and just be now. Because that is what you are. Your essence is this moment.

12. I’ll help you acquire the tools to make you more resilient to the things in life that can bring you down.

13. As a bonus I’ll also help you with your public speaking sills and confidence.

14. If you like someone and you’ve never ever had the courage to tell them then what you need is a love doctor like me! I can help you get the confidence to ask out someone you’ve always liked.

15. If you’ve lacked the social confidence to meet new people and make new friends then coaching with me is the perfect way to change that. I can help you crack that shell and help you break out of the prison that has kept people from finding out about the real you.

16. Coaching is fun and liberating. After just one session with me you will see a world of new possibilities. As one of coaching clients said: “Lord Alan Sugar should hire me.”

17. I always give my all. When you take up coaching with me you have access to me whenever you want. I don’t restrict the number of times we can call or email each other. You’ll get plenty of support from me in between sessions. I’ll never just leave you in the lurch.

18. You get my refund guarantee. If we don’t achieve the goals you want you get a full refund or we continue for free until we do. I don’t know of a single other coach who offers this promise or who will aim to get you where you want to go within 3 sessions. I haven’t failed yet and I have no intention of starting.

19. Your whole life will change after having coaching with me. You will start to see life with new eyes and you’ll begin to see it as an adventure.

20. As a coach I am definitely one of a kind. I have not had an easy life but using everything I’ve learned about personal development I have then applied to make life better. I’ve been on TV, I’ve worked on movies, I’m a radio presenter, I do charity work, I give inspirational talks, I plucked up the courage to become a stand-up comedian, I’ve written two e-books, this is the longest running personal development blog in the UK and almost the world, All my work is copyright free, I’ve lost lots of weight, I’ve become fit, I’ve run two half marathons, I’m going to be running the marathon, I’ve helped countless people change their lives, I met celebrities and given them coaching too and despite all the set backs I’ve had, I’m still here, still forging ahead, leaving my legacy and doing my part to change the world for the better. If all of that is not enough for you then of course cosmetic surgery is still an option!

Get in touch with me today and hire me as your life coach, you have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain!

It’s been 6 years since I started this blog which, so far, has over 570 articles.

It’s not all been smooth sailing but I’ve kept it going for the sheer love of blogging.

Just like anything I do in life, I do it because I enjoy doing it. Part and parcel of doing what you love is rejection.

Over the past two years I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. (Maybe that’s why I’ve been getting rejected; poor maths! )

I’ve been rejected for jobs, clients, auditions, guest posts, women…we won’t go too deep into that last one but the simple truth is, rejections suck!

When you get rejected it can feel like having your heart yanked out of your chest! (Kali Ma…shakti deh!)

The first is the worst!

The first time you get rejected it will feel like the end of the world. You’ll want to give up and bury your head somewhere. No one could blame you; that feeling is awful! You’d be an idiot to want to go through that again, right?

Well, no! The same reason for not going through it again is exactly the reason you should. Yes, you could well be rejected again and it will still hurt but, it’ll hurt a little less. The next time after that it will hurt a little less too.

It’ll hurt less and each time you get rejected and the chances of getting rejected again reduces ever so slightly. I call that the law of diminishing rejections. It also means that each time you increase your chance of success.

Remember: – The next time could always be YOUR time. If you don’t take that step, you’ll live your life never knowing what might have been.

Here’s a thought I want you to recap the next time you get rejected:

Rejection is preparation.

Every time you’re rejected it will prepare you better for the next time. Firstly, You won’t fear the rejection as much so you’ll feel more relaxed and your performance will be proportionately better.

Secondly, the natural reaction to rejection is evaluation. Once you’ve been rejected your natural instinct will be to question why. The result will be that you’ll probably go away and make some changes to hopefully be better the next time.

If you get rejected for a job, make sure you get feedback and find out why you got rejected. The same principle applies if you get rejected for a guest post or an audition.

Even if you don’t get any feedback, the sheer act of persistence will make you a better person. The fact you go back regardless of setbacks puts you in a league of your own. It’s takes a special kind of person to return once they’ve been rejected.

There are many stories of rejection. The story of Colonel Sanders and his 1008 rejections until he got his first ‘yes’! Writer Seth Godin got 900 rejection letters in one year.

Many people who are well known today received several rejections before they finally made it big. There’s even a book called Rotten Rejections full of rejections that writers, who are now famous or who wrote classics, received.

Yes, rejections totally suck at the time but you still have to keep one eye on your ultimate outcome.

If you still feel a bit down I want you to remember the kind of satisfaction you will feel when you get that first yes. It will be the sweetest feeling that can you possibly imagine. The ultimate prize will be success but that feeling will be like an early Christmas bonus.

The best revenge is success.

At some point in your life you are going to be called upon to speak in front of some kind of audience.

It could be in any capacity for example; giving a best wo/man speech; or talking about your company’s performance at your annual stockholders meeting.

I personally don’t believe public speaking is a big a fear for people as it once was. However, it can still be nerve racking and you don’t want to make it any worse

The big question is though; is it going to be the kind of speech that leaves people feeling energised and gagging for more? Or will it leave people doing that thing where they have to try and disguise their yawns as a deep breath?

I’ve given hundreds of talks and each time I’ve learned something new to make the next one better. I’ve done some bad ones and some good ones. Luckily my bad ones weren’t terrible and the good ones always got plenty of compliments.

All that I’ve learned is through trial, error, and practise. I’ve also used my experience as a comedian to make what I say more engaging and and funny. Use these 7 tips so your next speaking engagement is memorable…in a good way.

1. Relaxing Openers

If you get nervous you’ve got find a way to relax. I still get nervous so my technique is simple. I find a good opener. Something that will break the ice and get people laughing in the first minute. I’ll give you an example.

I was hosting a singles event on Saturday and before I did the icebreakers I gave a quick talk to the attendees. I started with something like: “Welcome and thank for you coming…I’ve only been invited with one purpose…as eye-candy! The organisers thought having a pretty face such as mine will definitely bring the punters in.”

Simple and effective. I felt relaxed and people laughed.

2. Stories

Have a rehearsed anecdote ready. Any story relevant to your event. I was giving a talk to some youngsters recently and I was telling them my experience of how I completely flopped at high school.

It’s a funny story of how I broke the news to my parents. It’s not entirely true. I just say it in a way that makes it entertaining and relevant to the audience. When I told the story I had them cracking up!

3. Pauses

If you do that thing where you hold your breath as you talk and run out of air. Use a pause for effect and use that moment to catch your breath. Use eye contact to hold peoples attention as you segue between sentences.

4. Jokes

Jokes are good for any occasion and can be used at any time. If you want to see a good example of this watch Sir Ken Robinson giving his talk on Ted about creativity. He drops in his jokes at random times just to keep the audience engaged. You can do the same!

5. Questions

If you get stuck at any point you can use to this trick to get back on track. Ask the audience if you’re going too fast or if they have any questions so far? You can always repeat that at the end but it’s a great technique in case you’ve veered off track and have lost your chain of thought.

I’ve done similar things whilst doing comedy but instead I started a conversation with a member of the audience. It worked just the same.

6. Activities

As part of your talk you can include an activity and the sky’s the limit with what you can do. Again, so long as it’s relevant in some way to your presentation you can pretty much do anything.

If it’s something fun, your audience will love you even more. In fact the magic is that they do all the work but they’ll credit you at the end for making it fun.

7. Slow Down

I generally talk very fast which is fine but it’s good to remind yourself occasionally to slow down if you’re a fast talker like me. Alternately if you do speak fast then just pause and do a quick summary before you continue.

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Simple and effective tips. If you want to get better at speaking then contact me for one-on-on coaching.

This is quite a challenging topic to address as there are so many angles to consider. It’s the kind of topic that I would not normally tackle but recent events forced look at this objectively and take measures to protect my reputation.

This issue will raise questions about ego and how much you can actually prevent rumours, whether it’s a waste of energy and resources or should you just simply ignore it.

Firstly, working the the media, being a radio presenter, working as a comedian and being a blogger culminate to put me in the limelight in quite a big way. If you are in a similar position where you do put yourself in the limelight the more open and exposed you become.

Rumours can be true or not and can just come from people who are haters or jealous of your success and they can even come from people who you thought were your friends.

Whatever the source, it needs to be dealt with in a prudent way.

In my personal opinion, to ignore it is to simply bury your head in the sand.

The other option is of course to take proactive measures to make sure it is stopped in it’s tracks. That’s exactly what I did and why I’m so glad.

Being Passive

Just because you consider yourself a spiritual person doesn’t mean you hope the problem goes away using the Law of Attraction or breaking out the candles that ward of evil spirits.

Being spiritual does not mean you have to be passive. I consider myself to be spiritual but I will always defend myself or those not strong enough to defend themselves.

Those Who Spread

It’s a sad truth that those who spread rumours are very weak and insecure. They are great marketers and have the gift of the gab so people will often buy into it. It stems from the need to belong.

When spreading rumours it enables them to connect with people and so they feel part of something bigger. They suddenly become interesting to those people and the response they get back is a bit like a drug. It feeds them and so then they feel the need to continue or that feeling will be lost.

Those Who Listen

In my opinion, those who pay attention to the rumours without either finding the truth out for themselves, or hearing the other side are much worse than the people who spread rumours. They also listen to feel a sense of belonging. In some cases it brings them joy to hear about the downfall of an individual.

Unfortunately it means they are also easily swayed and will believe pretty much anything they are told.

Both of those types are weak individually but feel powerful in groups that pay attention to them.

A person of true power, conviction and self respect will be feel powerful whether in a group or not; they will be indifferent to it.

Retaliation

When something like this occurs your first instinct might be to retaliate in some way! Do not retaliate! To do so puts you in the same category as the people who perpetuate or engage in gossip or hearsay.

You must fight the urge in every way possible and maybe even seek counsel until the feeling has passed.

Once it has, you can then move on and take the kind of action which is productive, not destructive.

Learning The Facts

It took a long time to piece together the puzzle of what these rumours were, how they got started and exactly how they were being perpetuated. I had to be careful that I wasn’t being a hypocrite and paying attention to hearsay.

The information I gathered from the many sources, the parts that tied up, are the parts you can relatively sure are true in the context of content of the rumours.

Pre-emptive Strike

This is not as harsh as it sounds. Basically I wanted to make sure I got to people first before anyone else did to make sure it was stopped in it’s tracks.

In the world of I.T. there is a concept in networking called spanning tree. It basically prevents loops in networks by putting network ports into a blocking state.

The pre-emptive strike is essentially the same principle. You essentially put blocks in to prevent the rumours going further. There is no guarantee of it’s success but it’s probably the best step you can take!

In this scenario I spoke to my peers, organisations where I volunteer or work at where I thought there was a chance of the rumour spreading to and even some social clubs at the first possible opportunity.

I explained that they was a chance that they would be hearing rumours about me. I said that they were not true, to not pay attention to them and that there are two sides to every story and should they ever wish to hear my side then they are more than welcome to ask me directly.

Once it was done I was relatively satisfied I’d put sufficient blocks in place to prevent the lies, hearsay and conjecture going any further.

Ego And Reputation

It this just an egoistic thing? Absolutely not! I for one have worked hard to be where I am today and to build that reputation. For someone to come along and potentially destroy it is simply not on!

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”

– Warren Buffett

You only need look at tabloids to see the kinds of things said about celebrities that tear them down. Some bounce back, others do not. I’m writing this to make sure that should you ever be in the same situation that you are prepared and can bounce back.

I personally don’t read the tabloids and don’t care for gossip. Those people are human beings and whatever goes on in their personal lives is their business.

I’m so glad this all occurred for the following reasons.

i. It made me stronger and more resilient.
ii. It taught me how to deal with this should anything like this occur again.
iii. It taught me a lot about people and how to handle them.

I truly hope you never have to go through anything like this but should anything occur I truly hope that this helps you.

Habits add up to give us the results of our day to day lives. The continuation of old habits can only lead to the same results over and over. Unless you find a way to interrupt old habits and formulate new ones you will never see different results.

The archaic method of trying to force yourself into new habits will never yield results. There are many more creative ways to start new habits so that they stick for life; that is, until you decide to change them again.

I’ve created ways to make habit forming enjoyable as possible. So rather than it being a hard slog, it actually becomes a fun thing. Whether it be using games or the pleasure principle, the following suggestions should help you to install and start new habits.

1. Becoming aware – The attention game

Sometimes your mind can be your worst enemy. Runaway thoughts can get you stressed and hyper. To change that habit, at random intervals during the day, stop and step outside of yourself and pay attention what was going through you mind in that moment. Was it random nonsense or was it something worthwhile for your life? You could even set your alarm and do it at specific intervals during the day.

This game will allow you to take control of your mind rather than letting it run wild.

2. Laughing more – A Regular injection of humour

Life for me has no meaning without jokes or laughter; it’s why I became a stand-up comedian. I remind myself of that and use jokes to stop taking life so seriously. Subscribe to a joke website. Whenever you get sent one that makes you laugh and share it with 10 people. Make then laugh and make yourself laugh. Bring as much laughter into your life as you can.

Save some as part of a repertoire so that next time you’re at a social gathering, share them with everyone and just observe how contagious the laughter can be.

3. Enjoyable activities – Pleasure over pain

I’m not a fan of going to the gym. I just don’t enjoy it, I could never stay fit that way. I have two loves when it comes to exercise. Badminton, and hill running. I love them so much that I never need to be motivated to go. I don’t need a personal trainer or a coach. My love of those activities drives me to do them.

Don’t ever force yourself to do a regime you don’t enjoy. Find an activity that is fun, gives you exercise and most importantly one you love; so much so that you never need to be motivated to do it.

4. Being mindful – The ‘present’ habit.

To become mindful and present I play a very simple game. While walking, I tune into the furthest sound I can hear, or I try and focus my gaze on the most distant object I can see. Or if I’m walking past a bird or beautiful flower I try and zoom in with my eyes to see the intricate details.

This habitual exercise makes becoming present a very simple process. It’s takes no special effort or skill and you can do it at any time.

5. Good vibez – The vibration game.

Pay attention to what vibe you’re giving off. You can usually tell by how you’re feeling in the moment. If you’re feeling down, you’re emanating a lower vibration, if you’re feeling good, you’re emanating a higher vibration. Pick a time during the day and see what you can do to get from where you feeling, to feel better. So, reach for a better thought, put on a piece of music or watch your favourite comedy. If you feel better, you’ve raised your vibration.

Now see what else you can do to raise it further. Whether it be doing more of the same, or trying something different, just keep it going up. Each time try and take it up a level.

6. Zen – The meditation habit.

Here’s a simple change to make meditation more effective. Most people will sit down to meditation, the trouble is it’s too easy to get distracted and tired while you’re sitting or lying down. Strike a pose, (vogue ) then meditate! Whether it be a dance pose, a martial arts stance, or just standing straight, then try and meditate for 10 mins.

You’ll find that you’ll be able to concentrate for longer and you’ll maintain the habit of meditation. Finding the time to ‘sit’ and meditate never works. Just do it whenever you can and wherever you are.

7. Productivity – The 30 minute habit

I used to be the chief procrastinator of procrastinators…if there were a race of procrastinators I would’ve been the king of the land! I used to get distracted so easily so I created a very simple method to get productive. I use a countdown timer on my phone. I set it for 30 minutes and I set to work. If I’m writing an article I do my best to get the whole thing done, written, edited an ready to go in the 30 minutes…that’s a stretch most of the time so I aim for at least 90% and then I finish the rest as quickly as I can.

It’s a simple method to stay focussed. I do nothing else for that 30 mins, only write, no checking Facebook, Twitter or your mobile phone…just focus on the task at hand.

8. Capturing creativity – The naked dictation game

If you suffer from any form of creative block, take live dictation of your thoughts. Whatever is going on in your head, write it down. The purpose is simple; do it to get clarity and to capture gems of inspiration as they happen, you never know when one of those thoughts is going to be your king maker.

Try these really simple games and methods to install new habits. You know it makes Zense!

After getting an iPhone, Angry Birds was the first game I got hooked to.

I’ve completed, and almost 3 starred, every single level on every flavour; Seasons, Rio and the original Angry Birds.

There is a good reason it’s #1 in the App store and has been for some time!

Some might call me a an addict, but definitely not as much as this crazy kid!

I’m not really an addict but whenever new levels are released I’m curious to see if I can clock them.

There’s a lot I’ve understood and related back to real life by playing this game. Lemme s’plain…

1. It starts off easy – When you first start playing the levels are easy. It can seem hard though as you have to learn the rules of the game. You have to learn exactly how the controls work and what the objective is but, once you do, you’re in full flow.

2. It gets harder – As you progress the challenges get harder. Remember, if they didn’t the game wouldn’t be as much fun. If it didn’t give you a challenge you would get bored. Sometimes you’ll get stuck and hit a level that you just can’t beat. At those times it’s worth asking for help.

3. Sometimes you need hints – When you get stuck, you have a choice of remaining at that place for a long time, it will be rewarding to find the solution by yourself but it can take time. The alternative is get help from someone who’s been there before. When you do you’re trading in the gift of solving it by yourself but you do give yourself the gift of saving some time. Whichever method you choose is entirely your call. There is no shame in the short-cut.

4. With persistence and patience you can crack any level – It just takes commitment. If you opt for the option of solving it by yourself then you have gained something that you don’t get through any other means. There were times when I was stuck but I saw it through to completion. It was frustrating but extremely rewarding. What it ultimately gave me was the means to deal with any similar stumbling block.

5. Perspective – When you go back and try the early levels, you realise how easy they were, even though they seemed tough at the time. You think “how did I ever get stuck on those?” It makes you realise just how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned.

6. There are hidden treasures – If you pay attention and explore you will find things that are hidden away. They are only there for people to find who really look. You may occasionally stumble across them if you’re lucky but when you really pay attention you find the bonuses that most people don’t stick around to find.

7. There’s more than one way to skin a cat (or more aptly, kill a pig) – You’ll complete a level one way but if you want to, you have the option to see if you could have done it a different way. There is never just one solution or just one answer. The first time you might have used three birds to complete the task and believe it could not be done with less until, you try again and realise you could’ve just done it with one.

8. Perfection isn’t important – It doesn’t matter how you get the job done. So long as it gets done. Sometimes you’ll get it done in a way that seems immaculate, other times it’ll be a hash job, but that’s the most important part, getting it done so you can move on!

9. There is no end – A truly great game has no end. I completed the original version the first time and thought “woooohooo” but then they released Seasons and also more levels on the original. So just when I thought it was over, it begun all over again. (I’m glad it did.) There is never an end, just a continuation in one form or another, so just enjoy the game, because there are always more levels to come.

10. Stealing baby birds is just plain wrong – When will the green pigs ever learn that they should never mess with birds and their babies!

I owe a lot to my ego and pride. Some say that on a spiritual path one should become free of ego. I have no plans on living on a mountain somewhere surrounded by nature so I don’t see the point.

While I’ve chosen to live this kind of life, my ego and pride are assets.

Were it not for my pride or ego, I would’ve given up on life a long time ago, as any number of the tough situations I’ve faced in life had the potential of knocking me on my ass for good.

Why?

Simple, my ego didn’t allow me to quit. The thought of telling people I’d given up or, even admitting to myself that I’d quit kept me going. The shame had power!

The shame or ego kept me going more than anything else, especially in those times of desperation. I believe that often it’s the only thing we have during those moments; it’s the easiest feeling to reach for.

I’ve heard religious monks and scholars talk about the need to let go of ego but not everyone needs to live by that edict.

Sure, if you want to become one with nature and be away from materialistic things then go ahead, take the path of becoming ego free.

However, if your path is one where you want a business, money, the means to travel then I very much doubt you’ll get anywhere without your pride and ego.

The Ego Scale

Pride and ego are quintessential to success. I don’t think you will get to be successful and achieve your goals unless your ego and pride are in the right place.

Imagine a scale, to the left side is absolute arrogance, on the right is absolute insecurity. The middle represents being ego free.

I’ve discovered that in order to succeed, to be a winner, there is a very specific place on the scale that you need to be at.

That place is not in the middle, but about about a third of the way towards the arrogance side of the scale.

By aiming for that side you won’t become an egoistic maniac, in fact, you’ll have the perfect temperament to succeed. The desire to succeed and win is born of ego and to make sure it happens you need the power of your pride

The Pride Point

I call that specific point on the scale the pride point. It’s where I haven’t quite hit arrogance yet I’m feeling confident enough to let people know I’m feeling confident.

If I want to win at playing poker, I need to be at that specific point on the scale. If I end up feeling too arrogant and believing blindly that I’m going to win the hand, more often than not, I’ll get trumped.

If I want to win at playing badminton, I need to be at that point on the scale, if I end up feeling inadequate just because I’m playing better players, my level drops and I always lose.

It’s actually an amazing feeling when you hit the right point on the scale. You almost begin to feel unstoppable yet you know you could get beaten. I’ve experienced that feeling lots of times when I’ve played poker with my friends and when I’m in that zone, I always win.

When I’m in that place, I still feel vulnerable to defeat, yet I’m not concerned by it. I know I could lose the hand but I’m certain that by taking the risk, I’m doing absolutely the right thing.

Your don’t need to relinquish your ego. It’s there to prevent you from giving up. It’s there to help you win and succeed in all the pursuits you do.

I was having a conversation with someone recently about the concept of Living Consciously.

After a while they said to me, “it sounds like it’s all about always being in control”. I replied, “it’s not about always being in control all the time, but understanding when to take control and when to let go.”

I believe the phrase ‘control freak’ popped up in that conversation too.

The way I feel about living consciously is that it’s more about letting go than it is taking control.

A quick example is the feeling of frustration. Frustration is often as a result of a situation not going the way we wanted it to. So rather than trying to force an outcome, I do what I need to and just allow the results to unfold.

The thing I do try and take control of is my mind. If I were to always let my mind do what it wants I would probably be stressed out often because my mind has the habit of running away with thoughts of “I need to do this, I need to do that, I have to contact so and so, I have to respond to this email” etc.

So what I do is I say ‘stop, relax and chill’. I take a moment to regain control of my most important faculty and when I’ve gotten to a point where I’m relaxed again I’ll let go.

Simply put, I can control what goes on inside me, but I can’t control what goes on outside.

I’m in control of what I choose to focus on. When I don’t take control of that power, my emotions tend to be more erratic. Whereas, if I take control and choose what to focus on, my emotions are more in check; and that is a good thing. After all, how many good things have you done or achieved while you’ve been irrational?

I’m not in control of how well this article performs. I’m only in control of the writing and focusing on making my point clearly an making sure that people enjoy reading what I write.

Lets say I’m pitching a new client. I’m in complete control of my pitch, but I can’t force them to accept me. That’s always their choice…if I push too hard because I’m desperate they’re more likely to pull away.

But lets just take that one step further and focus on the ‘pitch’ part of that example. I am in control of how well I perform during the pitch. If I’m a nervous speaker, I can prepare myself better and therefore perform better. That is also within my control.

The outcome is always in the hands of something I have no power over. Even if I did, where would the mystery and excitement in life go?

There is so much power and respite in letting go. When you let go and and stop trying to be in control of everything you’ll find that more happens to go your way.

Try this; be in control of letting go, i.e., decide, for now that you’re going to let go of trying to control how things turn out in your life, just enjoy the here and now and the doing.

Meet Hazel, you’ve probably never heard of her…I hadn’t before a few weeks ago and then whilst doing my show, everyone was continually requesting songs from this new Bollywood film called ‘Bodyguard‘.

I had to know what all the fuss was about so I went to see the movie with a friend. Just before I did I got a call from someone asking if I’d like to interview someone called Hazel…my first reaction was – “who-what-now?”

He went on to explain that she was a actress in this new film and so I said, sure, lets go for it.

In the Movie Hazel plays a character called ‘Maya’ who is the best buds with ‘Divya’, played by Kareena Kapoor.

Hazel and I connected over Skype and spent over an hour nattering away and I was blown away by her story.

She got rejected by 13 of the big performing arts schools in London. She tried to stand out by using the Vagina Monologues, as her monologue; it backfired!

Hazel appeared in Harry Potter in small roles and was also doing some modelling but didn’t get any big breaks.

She then spent a few years in Mumbai, getting small amounts of work but again still not cracking the big time. Eventually, after running short of money she came back to London.

Whilst in London, she happened to get invited to a to the filming of a movie in which Bollywood superstar, Salman Khan, was starring. Salman approached her because he thought she might be cold and gave her his coat.

She then told him her story and he said to her, “don’t give up, go back to Mumbai and he’d try and help her”. Things didn’t happen straight away, it still took some a long time before her first big break but now just the door has just begun to open.

For me, when I heard her story, in many ways I could relate but the key thing that stood out was that fact she persisted despite the early setbacks.

I’ve always said that you never know which door, which event, or which opportunity is going to be your king-maker. You just have to keep going for long enough to allow that moment to come.

If you’ve just started a new venture, don’t give up, keep going, no matter the setbacks, you too could be the next Hazel.

Even though Bollywood is the biggest film industry in the world, no doubt, we’ll be seeing much more of Hazel on the big screen in Hollywood too. Keep an eye out for her!

Hear a snip of her story below:

And just for fun – Hazel telling me a joke…

I would like to introduce to someone very special. Her name is Sonna Relé and she is a wonderful singer.

She isn’t that well known but her music is beautiful.

I first got introduced to one of her songs couple of months back when someone posted a link to one of her songs on my facebook wall. I listened to the song and watched the video and I instantly fell in love with it.

It’s one of those songs that sent a tingle down my spine and the video totally captivated me.

Why am I telling you? I saw it on YouTube and I couldn’t understand why it only had 112 views?!

I decided I wanted to something nice for a complete stranger. I don’t know her personally and she does not know me or know that I am writing about her.

I’m doing this in the hope that you’ll not only view the video, but if you like it too, will share it.

I’m determined to help it get at least 100,000 views. Will you help me too?

Please, don’t let something this good stay a secret.

Share it, tweet it, forward it to someone you know my benefit from listening to this song. Let me know what you think of it too.

Do something wonderful for a talented stranger.

When having discussions with people about living consciously this is a very common question. I’ve heard it from many people on several different occasions.

So is living consciously mentally draining? The simple answer is no. However, if it’s a practise which you’ve just adopted then it could possibly feel that way.

If you’ve been living on autopilot most of your life then making the transition will be tiring.

It’s exactly the same principle as exercising. If you’ve never exercised and you start a new training program, initially, you will feel very tired.

Your body is being made to do things it hasn’t done before.

However, once you get under way and it becomes a habit, you start to realise that you’re doing things you’re designed to do. Our bodies were designed to run, jump and be full of vitality.

The same applies to our minds. Over time we’ve become lazy. But that is not how we are designed and it certainly isn’t what we were meant to do or how we were meant to live.

So when you take the first steps to living consciously you will initially feel a little bit of mental strain. You’ll feel like you’re being stretched.

The act of paying attention to your thinking and then making a conscious decisions to then shift your focus to something more productive and valuable will take it’s toll initially.

Once you start though, that’s when things begin to change. It then goes from being an exercise that requires effort to a practise that is habitual.

Don’t feel disheartened if you stray back into your old ways. Keep persisting and eventually you will just get better at it.

When I first tried to learn to solve a Rubik’s cube, I was disappointed that I couldn’t do it, but then I keep going and now, it’s easy, I can’t quite do it with my eyes closed like some people but generally speaking, now it’s just second nature.

Control

There is a very distinct difference between living consciously and control. Living consciously is not control. It is much more closer to paying attention and being mindful.

It is making decisions based on listening to your true inner feeling/voice/calling. It’s about paying less attention to the things that we do not need. It’s about paying less attention to the billions of voices of input that we get everyday.

It’s about listening to the one that truly counts. Listening to your calling; listening to your voice.

It’s about being deliberate rather than being forever in a state of reaction.

How To Get Started

Like anything else, once you get started, you get into a rhythm. It becomes easier. You start to see the benefits. There are a few simple ways to get started and more advanced methods as you progress but here are some simple pointers.

1. Ask lots of questions. Here’s a great simple one, when was the last time you questioned why you eat breakfast? So, why do you? What’s the purpose of it? Simple things like these will shift your attention and get your out of autopilot.

2. Pause at various moments during the day and observe what you were thinking about? Was it futile or worthwhile things?

3. How often do you drive without thinking about all your moves? Probably not since you were a learner right? Try going back to those days and think about your movements, actions, do them with precision and fluency.

These are just a few ways you could get started. Feel free to think of many more of your own methods, consciously create more methods and feel free to share them with me in the comments below.

Is living consciously a new concept to you? Did you find this post useful?