It’s time for another showdown. Which is a better?

A life lived with strict discipline, or one where you grant yourself absolute autonomy?

It’s a question I’ve wrestled with over the past 15 years and had varying degrees of results.

I’ve always been deeply attracted to a warrior like path; one where you rise at a certain time every day; follow a strict regime of diet and exercise; meditate at very specific times, etc.

It’s has yielded some good results at times however, anytime I have embarked on such a path, I’ve only been able to sustain it for a relatively short space of time.

I know there are people out there who love that kind of lifestyle; they love regimented routine and that’s absolutely fine. But, I realised that I was pushing myself to do something, that wasn’t really suited to me.

Lets take sleep for an example, there’s a school of thought that says you should arise at 4 or 5am every single day. I used to do that. I remember back in 1998 I did that for whole year. I used to wake up at 3.45 am every day. I would then meditate for an hour and then begin my day.

Nowadays, I don’t really sleep early enough to sustain that habit. My preferred philosophy now is to listen to my body; I.e., Where possible, I avoid the use of an alarm clock, and allow my body to rise out of sleep naturally. When I do, I feel so much more refreshed and I find that more often than not, I wake up early, and am more focused for the whole day.

I also used to have a strict vegetarian (almost vegan) diet. Again, I prefer not live by that principle anymore. Why? When I was vegan, and on the move or travelling, a large proportion of my thoughts would be spent on worrying where my next vegan meal was going to come from.

Now, I prefer to be grateful at having any kind of food to nourish my body. I’m still a vegetarian, but a relaxed vegetarian. I don’t mind if my food comes from a place that also serves meat or if I eat egg. The food that I have, I just give thanks that I’m in such a privileged position to have food in front of me.

I don’t believe that one one path is right and the other is wrong. I do believe that we are all unique and what may work for some, my not work for others. I am more concerned about finding the right path for me. I am more inspired to with work with myself in finding a synergy that allows me to be at my best.

In recent months, I’ve found that by employing this attitude of autonomy, I feel much more content and alive. I don’t feel like I’m putting myself under any kind of duress.

Don’t get me wrong, there is still a huge amount of discipline involved, even on the path of autonomy. I still have to remind myself to be grateful for food; for the gift of having legs to move around; for having eyes to see wonders; for having lips to kiss my incredibly beautiful girlfriend. :LOL: I’ve had to work hard to cultivate the attitude of gratitude.

The key difference is the act of chastising. People on the disciplined path are often harsh on themselves when they break routine. I don’t think it’s necessary and I believe it can do more harm than good.

I know this is potentially quite a contentious subject, and one that could draw out some strong opinions. The key for me, is that discipline, should not turn in obsession. How do I define obsession? Quite simply, if it occupies my thoughts, and takes me away from being present and grateful, then it’s not a good thing.

If I could talk to me 15 years ago I would definitely share the same message that a strict, regimented disciplined life is unnecessary. I would encourage myself to try and understand what the power of self-autonomy can really do; how it can make me feel incredibly centered and feel like doing even more.

What about you? Which of the two schools of thought do you employ? Are a disciplinarian? Or an autonomarian? (yes, it’s a word I made up!)

I don’t often do book reviews, as I’m not very good at doing them, but the following is a book I felt like I had to talk about.

A couple of months ago, my auntie emailed my dad with a YouTube link pointing to an interview with Anita Moorjani. She’s written a book called Dying To Be Me. My dad forwarded me the link and I decided to click it and watch the video.

In the interview I heard Anita talk about her experience and at first, I wasn’t that interested in reading the book.

I’m going through this phase whereby I am not buying any new personal development books and not attending any new seminars. I feel like I’ve learned all I need to and just need to remember what I’ve learned at the right times and then to apply it.

More recently I’ve been reading biographies and and stories.

I saw the interview, and for some strange reason, almost as if it was against my will, I bought Anita’s book on my iPad. It was almost as if I had no choice in the matter. (I swear she got me with Vulcan mind trick! )

I’ve read the book and all I can say is I’m so glad I did.

What’s it about Amit?

Anita is just an ordinary person, just like you or me, and she was going through her life finding her answers, but all too often, doing things out of fear. Many of her decisions were fear based. It stemmed from a confusing religious upbringing which mirrored my own in many ways.

Later in life, Anita started to fear cancer because two people close to her got diagnosed with the disease. She did everything she could to not get cancer including eating well, doing yoga, meditation, etc., and no matter how hard she tried, the disease caught up to her.

As it progressed, Anita eventually fell into a coma and had what people refer to as an NDE (Near Death Experience). In that state she had the most amazing feelings and experiences which I could not do justice to by describing.

Despite the fact that she was in a coma, and that her doctors has all but written her off, she returned from her NDE and in a very short space of time, after she regained consciousness, the cancer completely dissolved.

Anita had an incredible experience during her NDE and consciously made the choice to return as she felt that she had work to do. She also brought back some incredible knowledge and shares her discoveries in the book.

The amazing thing for me, whilst reading this book, was that every word felt like an echo of everything I’ve been thinking and feeling over the past 6 months.

Here’s a little teaser from the book:

“it doesn’t matter what race, religion, culture, or belief system we belong to. We’re connected to it just because we’re alive – in fact, we are this universal current. We don’t have to do anything, be anything, or prove anything to access it. We’re all magnificent powerful beings.”

– Anita Moorjani

Whether you choose to read this book, or it finds it’s way to you at a later time, one thing I will say is Anita shares her message so succinctly and in such a way that it will be accessible to everyone from all walks of life, and to people of all ages.

I truly hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I did.

I remember reading several books at school, a few of which I thoroughly enjoyed and others, not so much.

I wouldn’t say that any of them changed my life. In fact, the ones I didn’t enjoy, I didn’t feel there was any need for it to be part of my education. They did very little to enrich my life.

Out of the ones I did enjoy were An Inspector Calls, Mindbenders by Nicolas Fisk and I also didn’t mind a bit of Shakespeare. I wasn’t a fan of Maya Angelou and there were others in similar genre’s that I had to read which truly bored the pants off me.

Do we really need to introduce children to the worst aspects of life in order to protect them from it? I’m not so sure I agree with that paradigm.

With that in mind, here are 12 books that I strongly believe would be extremely beneficial to humanity should they be added to the curriculum.

1. Conversations With God – Neale Donald Walsch

I was at a very low point when this book came into my life and it answered some of the fundamental questions that no one else had been able to answer. I have since ready many in the CWG series, and each is better than the last. We introduce children to the concepts of religion from a very early age; so why not also show them an alternative path? For younger children, perhaps they could begin with the parable ‘Little Soul and the Sun‘.

2. Unlimited Power/Awaken The Giant Within – Tony Robbins

I’m sure most people, at some point, have come across the work of Tony or have been to one of his seminars. I personally think it would be a great introduction to many kids in understanding that they have the power to shape their lives. Who better than Tony to introduce them to their personal power?

3. A Brief History Of Time – Stephen Hawking

I feel that children, all too often, get sucked into thinking only about the mundane aspects of life. What about all the wonders out there? The questions that need to be answered? I first read this about 15 years ago and it really opened up my mind to a universe of possibilities. I feel that children are not being shown the mysteries of life and so this book would be a wonderful way of taking them to infinity, and beyond!

4. Flow – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Flow, to this day, remains one of my favorite personal development books of all time. There is something truly special about the way in which Mihaly shares his message, in a vernacular that is suitable for people of all ages, and from all walks of life. I also have lots of fun trying to pronounce the authors surname!

5. The Prophet – Kahlil Gibran

I brought a limited edition of this recently and gave it to my fiancee.. It only takes about an hour to read this book but every page is like poem of life. This is a must read for every child, of every background, of every faith, and of every culture across the globe.

6. An Introduction To NLP – Richard Bandler

I recently said in a tweet that I truly believe that all doctors should be expertly trained in NLP and I extend that by saying that every man, woman and child should have some working knowledge of NLP imparted to them. Since Richard is the co-founder, this book gets my vote as a wonderful introduction to that world.

7. The Breakthrough Experience – Dr John DeMartini

Dr John DeMartini is my personal, all time, favorite teacher and I’ve been blessed because I’ve been on many of his courses, met him several times and even interviewed him for my radio show. His level of knowledge is unmatched and unsurpassed. If you go on one of his weekend seminars then prepare to have your mind blown as he is literally a walking encyclopedia – all volumes!

8. The Power Of Intention – Dr Wayne Dyer

I love the sweetness of Dr Wayne Dyers messages and the way he shares them. This one still is one of my favorites and I can’t stress enough how much benefit it would bring to have something like this on the curriculum for children to learn from.

9. Ask And It Is Given – Abraham Hicks (Jerry and Esther Hicks)

If you want to learn and understand about the Law of Attraction this should be the only book you should ever need to read on the subject. The clarity and simplicity of this book is just an incredible and will open up the gateway for being able to allow and attract easily.

10. The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho

The list would not be complete without some kind of fiction, and the one I personally would recommend to everyone is The Alchemist. I could read that book a dozen times and never get bored of the way it is written, or the message it has to share.

11. Drive – Daniel Pink

Although I’ve not read this, I have watched Dan’s Ted Talk on the subject and it is truly a remarkable discovery which is digestible to people from all walks of life about what really drives us. He discusses the concepts of autonomy, purpose and mastery.

12. Dying To Be Me – Anita Moorjani

In March, a relative of mine send me a link to a YouTube video with an Interview of Anita Moorjani. I bought her book on Kindle and started reading it a few weeks ago. It is a detailed account of her battle with cancer which ultimately led to an incredibly vivid NDE. Anita goes onto share her incredible learnings of the NDE and how after the being in a coma and having the NDE, made a miraculous recovery and no longer has any trace of cancer. Her case baffled her doctors and is one of the most incredible cases of cancer remission.

The other amazing thing about that book for me, is that her words are an echo of everything I’ve been blogging about for the past 6 months, about being centered, that positive and negative are two sides of the same coin, that we don’t need to live a life of rules, that selfishness (in context) is good, that we don’t need to do things out of fear and even the things we think are good, done out of fear, can even be bad for you.

I won’t go into too much as I’ll be doing a full review on the book next week once I’m finished.

What do you think? Are there any others that should be on the list? Or do you believe that they would not benefit our children?

My memory is no where close to being perfect, in fact many have described it as being poor. I don’t mind though, because as much as it can be annoying, it can be equally beneficial.

For example, I forget quite quickly about the things that people have done to piss me off, or any other transgressions.

What was I talking about?…Oh yes…I remember

However, it does mean though I tend to forget important things at the times when it matters most. I do set reminders on my phone, write things down but there is no substitute for simply having a list and just reading it daily.

We make many lists. We make lists of bills to pay, chores that need to be done, but do you have a list of the truly important things that support your well-being?

Therefore, I invite you to share my list and use it for yourself to remind yourself of the truly important things every day.

1. You are more than just your job title or the amount you earn

We place so much importance on our job titles and how much we earn that we let it define who we are and how we feel. The ONLY thing that matters is that you enjoy your vocation. Nothing else matters. When you truly enjoy what you do, everything else will fall into place.

2. Being grateful for the smallest of things

In the morning, find at least one thing you’re truly grateful for. It doesn’t matter what it is, just find one simple thing. The taste of a particular food, a certain smell, your annoying little sister etc, whatever it may be. Just pick one thing and give thanks.

3. Everything is connected

Remember that everything in the universe is connected. We are all connected to everything else. There is no separation. Do unto others, and it is done unto you because you are connected.

4. You have the power to choose how to respond to life

Every event that occurs, you have a choice in how you respond to it. Never forget that. We sometimes may just react to circumstances out of habit, but it need not always be that way. You can choose, so remember that fact as often as you can.

5. To meditate, smile and enjoy simple things

My daily train journey is one of the few times I get to meditate. For some reason, I enjoy meditation more when I’m in motion. I use that time as much as is possible to meditate, and enjoy the small and simple things.

6. God, Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, are all the same being personified by ourselves

I truly doubt there is supreme being out there that minds what she is called. Just remember we are all one family on this tiny planet. Don’t separate yourself from others just because they and you have adopted different cultures. There is one supreme being out there that links us all.

7. To remain centered.

This is something I’ve been speaking about a lot as of late; remaining centered. I constantly remind myself to remain centered. Sometimes I forget and then I remind myself to return to my center.

Use this list, print it out, keep it with you and use it to remind yourself of these very basic, and yet important principles of life.

If you haven’t read my previous article on being centered, take a brief look now and familiarize yourself with the concept of centering.

The wonderful thing about it is that it doesn’t require any special skills to implement. You can adopt the ideas and put them into practice immediately.

The concept also doesn’t discriminate your background, your faith, your religion etc, it’s an idea that is very simple and is there for anyone to try regardless of your chosen beliefs.

Remember, the trick is not to force yourself into feeling centered, but to un-stick yourself from extremes and find your way naturally to that place of equilibrium. Try it and here’s what you will find:

1. Emotional Roller-coaster

You’ll no longer experience the peaks and troughs of emotions. The extreme highs and lows will slowly start to fade away and you’ll start to experience more balance in your life.

2. People

People will start to respond to you differently. You’ve probably seen glimpses of it already during those times when you’ve felt on top of the world, people pick up on it and treat you accordingly.

If you dump on yourself, people tend to treat you in the same way. If you’re self assured, likewise. But if you’re centered, people understand they cannot rock your boat and therefore do not try. They actually start to feel more at ease when around you.

3. Tasks

When you take a centered approach to your tasks you’ll discover that you can remain focused for much longer periods and when you do, you’ll become much more efficient.

4. Enjoyment

You’ll begin to enjoy your activities more. My fiancée recently was telling me how her grandfather said to her. When you eat, eat. When you brush, brush. When you shower, shower. Very simple and so poignant. Being centered in each task will enable you to savour it properly.

5. Mindful

As you practice this amazing art you’ll naturally become more mindful of the things you do. You won’t have to force it, you will arrive at that place naturally.

6. Fulfillment

Any areas of your life where you have felt unsatisfied you will start to feel a greater sense of fulfillment. You will stop yearning for things and they will begin to happen much more easily.

7. Control

As you get more accustomed to remaining centered you begin to drop your need for control on outcomes and when you do, you begin to feel so much more relaxed and and ease. As a result, physically you will be in a much better condition and your quality of sleep will improve. You will also notice that you begin to dream more vividly.

8. Harmony

Overall, you will begin to feel a sense of greater harmony in your life. Things will begin to come together like you never imagined. Serendipity will become more common.

–

Generally speaking, in most area’s of my life, I find it easy to remain centered. The areas where I do not, life often gives me a kick up the ass to remind me become centered again. It’s not random, it happens every time, without fail, just like the accuracy of simple mathematical equation.

Try it for yourself and see, as you have absolutely nothing to lose.

Before you begin reading this article, I wanted to emphasize just how much this one slight shift in my mindset has changed my life over the past few months.

I literally mean it when I say that miracles will begin to happen when you adopt this strategy and way of thinking.

When I say miracles, I’m not talking about mystical stuff, I’m talking about real tangible results you will see happen, first hand, in your life.

Welcome to the power of being centered.

Before continuing, put aside any notion of identity, religion, caste, beliefs etc, and follow these words without any preconceived ideas. Why? Because this concept is beyond any religious identity. It’s for anyone and everyone to try.

What is being centered?

The concept of being centered is nothing new by any means. However it’s still a little known idea that very few people practice.

Imagine a tightrope walker, walking along her tightrope. She has one of those poles to keep her balance. The pole tips to one side, and she along with it. Somehow she manages to recover. She uses the balance pole to regain her composure and return to the perfect place to navigate the tightrope.

Centering is finding that space in the middle between hope and disappointment, between happiness and sadness, between desire and apathy, between good and bad and using the right kind of thoughts that help you stay remain in that special sanctuary of equilibrium.

It’s about finding an incredibly serene balance. Believe me when I say, that when you find that place, you’ll feel so at peace, calm and relaxed, that very little, if anything, will be able to phase you.

Being centered is about understanding that every event is a combination of good and bad. It’s about aligning with part of your being that is beyond temporary elation or feeling down, or being phased by others positivity or negativity.

Positivity and negativity

I’ve never really subscribed to the notion of being positive over negative, or that being positive is any better than being negative, or that you have to have a PMA.

Positive and negative are two sides of the same coin. I’ve known positive people who show people on the outside how positive they are, but when you take a closer look, you see just how much they are suffering because they surpress their negativity.

Being centered is what I call it a heavenly state of mind.

It’s not about forcing your mind into that balance, but about un-sticking your mind from past events or future results. (And vice-versa.)

I’m not an expert at this, it’s just something which I’ve been experimenting with and I’ve been amazed at the results I’ve been getting. I temporarily got excited about those results; and then I’d center myself again!

Since experimenting with this:

• I’ve become more focused.
• I am more relaxed than I’ve ever been.
• I’ve stopped chasing things, things are chasing me.
• People have begun treating me differently, for the better.
• I’ve attracted things and circumstances more easily.
• I’m more in tune with what I really want.
• I sleep much more soundly.
• I’ve lost weight.
• My non conformity makes people more attracted to me.

You will be astounded at the results you get when you center yourself. The things that you want to happen will begin to happen so effortlessly.

Centering is finding that space in the middle between hope and disappointment, between happiness and sadness, between desire and apathy, between good and bad and using specific kinds of thoughts that keep you there.

The objective is not to straddle the fence, or be indifferent to everything, but to live in the equilibrium. It also does not mean that you do not have an opinion or speak out, it’s about being centered when you do it.

How do you center yourself?

I will be expanding on this topic greatly over the coming months but I wanted to throw a few simple things your way that you can try to become.

I already spoke about the balance of being mindful and yet still have desires and goals. Being centered in that case is about being present whilst having your desires and creating.

Like anything else, mastery of this won’t come overnight but I suggest a few simple thoughts to practice daily to help you find the centered equilibrium.

To begin with, try using these four simple words to precede your basic goals and desires: ‘No matter the outcome’

A very simple example, imagine you were going for a job interview, before you step in the room, center yourself by saying to yourself ‘no matter the outcome, I will remain centered.

Keep that feeling going; hold onto that idea before, during and after the event. Stay in that place where the outcome will do very little to affect your state of mind.

Also try this very simple idea of reminding yourself ‘stay centered’ and practice it regularly. Keep saying it to yourself over and over again.

It will help you remain poised in the most difficult or awkward situations.

Something to note; you cannot cheat at this. If you just think these thoughts but deep down you truly feel apprehension or anxiety, you won’t really get anything out of it. But if those thoughts guide you into a place of feeling in equilibrium then you will observe remarkable results. When they do, the trick is to remain centered.

Try this the next time you feel stressed out about work, or the next time you have a fight with your kids, or the next time you get road rage (like I often do).

Once you’ve tried it for a few days, report back, let me know how you feel what impact, if any, it has had.

Stay centered.

In day to day life there are certain situations which will arise that will require you to be at your best. Things will come along to test your resolve and I believe preparation is the key to making it through these events; relatively unscathed. There will always be an element of surprise that you can never predict but you can still put yourself in the right frame of mind to cope appreciate the unexpected and take it in your stride.

I’ve devised an enlightened set of 7 kick-ass mini-meditations, if you will, which have helped steer me well in times of adversity or that have helped keep me balanced and in check.

1. At Crucial Turning Points

Enlightened Thought: No matter the outcome, I will remain centered.

This enlightened thought has helped me immensely through some challenging times. It is particularly useful when dealing with erratic thoughts with regard to something that hasn’t happened yet. It could be waiting on a decision for a job interview or in my case, waiting to find out if I’ve got a speeding ticket or not! Whatever the scenario, just say the above incantation to yourself and know that it is out of your hands, all you can do is remain happy.

2. At Social Events

Enlightened Thought: I don’t have to be anything except be Amit Sodha.

Yes, you can pretend to be me or where I’ve entered my name, replace it with yours. This is particularly useful when in intimidating social settings. Maybe you’re surrounded by celebrities or top business people. Either way, this is a very powerful thought to have. This is also a good one if you’re a man intimidated by beautiful women and you end up doing silly things on dates or trying too hard. Just say this to yourself over and over again as a good reminder to relax and just be you.

3. Surrounded By People

Enlightened Thought: Am I the influencer, or the influencee?

If you are often in environments where you’re surrounded by a certain kind of negative energy, you’ve got to be real and ask yourself: Am I the influencer or the influencee? It will quickly make you realise your place in that setting and set you on the right path. The phrase ‘you’re a bad influence on me’ is often used in jest but the truth is that I know where I’d rather be in that equation. I want to be the influencer always.

4. In Competitive Scenarios

Enlightened Thought: I’m not here to win, I’m here to play my best.

Winning is a powerful mindset but the antithesis is, of course, the fear of losing. If not properly channeled the fear of losing can take over. I would genuinely rather lose and play well than to win easily. Winning easily to me is not fulfilling so when I play someone equal to, or better than me, I appreciate the challenge and remember that the winning part is not the victory to me, it is playing my best with dignity.

5. Under Fire

Enlightened Thought: Not everyone will understand my intentions.

I’m a firm believer that you can’t be liked by or please everyone. Not everyone will understand the actions you take or the reasons you do so. When coming under fire for making such decisions you may face resistance and even be tempted to sway. This thought is an extremely powerful reminder of your reasons. You might, for example, choose to stop being a shoulder to cry on for someone. They may see you as deserting them, but your intentions may be to give them space to grow.

6. To Relax

Enlightened Thought: Chillax!

A hybrid of chill and relax this simple word reminds me sometimes to just relax and not to take things to seriously. This one is one I use often when doing my show, playing badminton or when approaching a deadline! I don’t perform well when I stress myself out over deadlines so when I feel my thoughts racing this is one I use which keep me calm and focused.

7. To Make Healthy Choices

Enlightened Thought: Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

This is actually an edit to an already well know saying which is ‘nothing tastes as good as thin feels.’ I don’t like the word thin and it did nothing for me. When I replaced it with the word healthy it had a totally different effect. This affirmation is very useful for taking care of ones health.

P.S. Did you find those useful? What key enlightened thoughts, affirmations, incantations do you use?

P.P.S Happy Groundhog day!

**Disclaimer** Continue to read at your own risk. This article may contain humour which may be helpful to your health, contains an adult theme and deviates into a very weird topic involving spiritual guru’s.

In a moment of absolute insanity (which is what I would plead in court) this past weekend, I proposed to my girlfriend! She, being just as much of a crazy ass mofo as me, said yes!

I’d decided that an ideal place to do it would be on the 69th floor (my favourite number) of the Shard in London, that way if she said no, she could take a premature flight to the bottom I’m kidding…she would’ve gone down the stairs!

I’ve been blessed to have met such an amazing soul who truly does enrich my life in every way.

The difference between men and women

This whole experience has given me a real insight into the inner workings on men and women and the precise thought processes that defines the sexes.

There is a quintessential difference that truly highlights the impact a single chromosome can have. (Other than the obvious genitalia)

When I told any of my friends who are of the fairer gender, they all responded in a very similar fashion with very similar questions:

• How did you propose?
• When is the wedding?
• Did you get down on one knee?
• Where are you getting married?
• Lemme see the ring!
• Is the diamond bigger than mine?

The men however, had a totally different response. When I told my friends, they just want to know one thing…

• Awesome…When’s the stag party?

Speaking of which a strange thought occurred to while I was writing this. Could you imagine a bachelor party with the likes of Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Chris Howard, Jerry Hicks, Neale Donald Walsch and the Dalai Lama?

I could imagine Tony being the Naughty one of the group, he’d be the one daring others to do shots, chatting up all the ladies, and dropping pennies to look up the girls skirts! Neale would join Tony and be up for anything. Deepak would be the grumpy one of the group and would the one saying “Can we go now?” having had one drink (which is how I turn out if I ever touch alcohol). Wayne would be the Daddy of the group making sure that everyone was safe and all got home safely. Chris Howard would Join Tony and Neal and would stand on his tiptoes to try and be as tall as Tony. Jerry would sit in the corner with the Dalai Lama and they would be be chatting away and would let the ladies come to them.

After that the boys would all go to a “gentlemen’s club” where Tony would get dances from all the girls. Neale, Jerry and the Dalai Lama would encourage all the girls to be mindful and follow their passions while Wayne would encourage them to find their erroneous zones. Chris would use his amazing powers of hypnosis to get free dances. Deepak would be saying “can we go now?

But…I digress…

So before, I would write about flirting, enjoying being single, and finding love, but from here on out, any articles I write about relationships will be about how not to annoy your future wife and how to maintain a certain level of sanity!

Wish me luck!

Editors Note: This is a fantastic guest post by Roman Soluk of Optimistic Life

You all know that in order to be healthy you should eat a healthy food, do regular physical exercises and give up smoking. But do you know that those little things that you do in your everyday have a huge impact on your health? Wondering what are those things?

These are your simple everyday habits. Throughout your life you acquire different habits. Some of them are useful, others are just harmless, while others, although are meant to improve your health, can on the contrary ruin it. Those things that may seem useful take energy from your body.

So, let’s find out what are those everyday habits that can have a harmful effect on your health…

7 everyday habits that can hurt your health

1. Regular lack of sleep

Nearly 50 years ago an average person slept 8 hours, now people sleep only 6.5 hours. People have begun to sleep less because of the accelerated pace of life. But apart from that the number of people is suffering from sleep disorders (for example, due to stress).

Remember that a regular lack of sleep for a few days in a row leads to irritability, depression and even obesity.

2. Constantly trying to lose weight with the help of diets

Some people really succeed in losing weight with the help of diets, the other fail. But there are such people who despite their failures constantly try and try new diets, starting them again and again.

They always have a sense of guilt and frustration over the unfulfilled plans for weight loss, they are trying to punish themselves with a more strict diet, suffer from constant hunger (and often from the lack of essential substances). As a result they fail again.

Remember, your diet must be balanced, and the attempts to lose weight successfully must be accompanied by physical activity. Only then you can succeed.

3. Chronic pain

Some people who experience chronic pain, for years put off a visit to the doctor, thinking: “Today I feel better, maybe it will stop hurting.”

But such person starts to feel muscle weakness, loss of appetite and libido, reduction of physical activity, restless sleep and poor concentration. They always feel exhausted and this greatly reduces the quality of life.

4. Drinking too much coffee

A cup of coffee adds some energy, but too much coffee every day will act vice versa. It’s simple: you get used to it and your body requires more and more coffee, but you can’t increase this amount all the time.

In addition, the consumption of caffeinated beverages increases dehydration. For those who find it difficult to give up the habit of drinking a few cups of coffee a day, it makes sense to combine them with drinking water during the day.

5. Regular intake of energy drinks

Energy drinks should not become a regular morning habit. Drinking it as a sufficiently powerful stimulant, a person receives a huge dose of caffeine, taurine and often ginseng. After such an effect your body needs rest and recovery. At particular risk are your liver, nervous and cardiovascular systems. Besides, when drinking these drinks too often you get used to them and thus their effect becomes weaker and weaker.

6. Lack of oxygen

The lack of oxygen from a permanent stay in a stuffy room slows down the metabolism and causes fatigue. So, remember to walk outdoors more often, think of some effective breathing techniques, etc.

7. Lack of movement

Lack of movement causes your muscles lose their tone, and soon you’ll experience lack of energy. Moreover, physical activity reduces not only the risk of cardiovascular diseases, but also the risk of depression.

Conclusion

So, keep this in mind. If you really want to take care of your health, to keep fit and simply feel good, try to avoid these things.

This list isn’t limited to these 7 habits, so think before you’ll try something new even if it seems useful for your health. Take care of yourself and be healthy!

Roman Soluk is a founder and author at Optimistic Life. He writes about positive living, life improvement, relationships and health care. Get in touch with him on Google+.

If you were to take a good, scrupulous look at an average day of yours, what percentage of your thoughts and actions would you say were automated? 10%? 20%? 50%? 100%? How much do you actively question information and data you receive?

This habits you’ve formed and the things that you believe are two things which are deeply ingrained within you. After many years of reinforcement we tend to do those things and have those beliefs as if having some kind of autopilot switched on.

The question is do you take the time to wake up, switch off your autopilot, and really truly examine whether those things still need to be done, or whether those beliefs still hold water?

How did you come to believe the things that you do? How about the things you do, at this present time, are you doing them because you still need to, or because the habit is so well formed, you almost feel like it’s impossible to break out of?

Living consciously is about two main things.

1. Living mindfully i.e. not always doing things on autopilot and also pausing to question the things you do and believe.

Living consciously is about questioning what most people will believe blindly. Most people are unaware of why they do what they do, or why they have the beliefs that they do.

I was born a Hindu, My parents themselves were born into Hinduism. However, I was brought up in a predominately Christian neighbourhood so I ended up going to Sunday school and attending youth groups at church. By the time I was 12 I was much more familiar with Christianity than Hinduism. At the age of 15 I decided that I wanted to explore what else was out there. I then spent the latter part of my teens and early 20′s my finding about different faiths, exploring science and physics, reading philosophy and what I came out with was clear idea of what I believed in because it genuinely made sense to me.

I’m at a point where if anyone were to ask me any question about my beliefs, or to justify why I believe the things I do, I’d be able to answer them succinctly with some research to back up my reasons. Not all beliefs require evidence or research, otherwise there would be no such thing as faith, but it is imperative to question the things that’s expected of us because of our faiths.

2. The real meaning of living consciously is about interrupting routine; it’s about pausing for thought. Any time you manage to catch yourself reacting in a way which is habitual, it’s about saying to yourself ‘stop, lets respond in a new way.’

The path of living consciously means you no longer need to live each day in a mundane, repetitive way, yielding the same results over and over again.

It’s about believing in something, more than it just being about the sake of believing. If you have a strong belief system, that’s great. Did it come from your own investigations? Or did you start believing in it simply because it sounded nice when you first heard it?

“You truly serve god, when you don’t feel obliged to.”

Autopilot is not necessarily a bad thing. You cant consciously control every single thought and action at every second of each day. A more prudent suggestion would be to question your beliefs that drive the majority of your thoughts and actions.

Faith and religion are often based on archaic interpretations that may not necessarily be true. They were based on observation and understanding at the time. However, if you were to take them to scholars now, they may be interpreted in a new way. In fact if you were to take them to 10 different scholars, the chances are that you’d get 10 different interpretations. Who then, is right?

The core structure of your life, question it once in a while. Are you living your existence on purpose? Do you know why you believe and do the things you do? Remember to turn off your autopilot once in a while and fly the plane!

When was the last time you tried to undo a bolt without a spanner or wrench? Unless you’re He-Man, I’m guessing the answer is probably never! Why would you when you have a tool that makes the job so much easier right?

As a coach, one of the biggest things I’ve observed which gets in the way for so many people is just simply getting things done. People want to achieve something but they just don’t do what they need to.

We are all wired differently and we all have a different why that drives us. Those that are really good seeing things through, have a number of techniques that they use. Some techniques are better than others. Some of those individuals don’t need techniques, they are equipped with a natural propensity to ‘just do it.’ (I promise I am in no way endorsing Nike products).

If you struggle to get things done, you’re probably missing a key ingredient, and that is LEVERAGE. (And in no way am I endorsing the T.V. show; although it isn’t bad!)

Most people don’t fully understand what leverage is and therefore cannot fully utilise it. Once you understand it, and use it, there will be very little you cannot accomplish.

Leverage is pulling the right lever, or pushing the right button, at the right time, to get momentum and to keep it going.

I believe that everyone’s ultimate leverage is reaching a point to which they feel completely inspired and therefore need no outside intervention to make things happen. Until that point is reached, there are certain switches that we all have that can influence our behaviour. We can apply them to others or ourselves.

What is leverage?

Here’s an example:

Lets say at school your teacher told you that you were destined to be a failure. It was being drilled into you daily. However, you wanted to prove them wrong. You wanted to spit in the face of those insults. You decided you would work your ass off to prove them wrong!

The force driving you was to prove your teacher wrong. Every time you brought forward the memory of them putting you down, you felt the burning desire to show them otherwise.

We all have various buttons that set us off and give us leverage.

Do you remember the scene from back to the future, where Needles says to Marty, ‘what’s the matter, are you chicken?’ It sets him off. Needles had power over Marty and knew exactly which lever to pull to get him to take part in that shady scheme. (This is heavy Doc!)

How do you find it?

Think back over your life, has someone been your Needles and said something to you which has set you off?

I have a bit of an ego, (yes, just a bit ) and when it gets bruised, it forces me to act. I like to be the best at things, so when I meet someone who is better than me at something, I do one of two things; I either work hard to become better than them, or I just avoid playing them!

Very often we don’t find the right leverage we need at the right moment, but if you did, you would be unstoppable.

I also get very fired up when I remember what I believe to be my purpose here on earth. Any time I forget, my mind and actions become occupied with menial thoughts and tasks. Whenever I recall the fact that I believe I’m destined to be a spiritual warrior who’s destiny it is to do service, suddenly I feel like anything is possible.

Now think back of your life, what has set you off? What has given you a burning desire to go for broke?

Case stuy

I was coaching someone a while back and he hated his profession. He loathed the kind of work he had to do daily. His goal was to start a business and be an entrepreneur.

I asked him why he was still working if his dream was to have his own business? He said that he just never seemed to get the things done. While he was at work, he felt fired up, he felt the passion to get the business of the ground but, as soon as he got home, guess what? He’d land on his ass on the couch, plant himself in front of the TV and put things off.

I said to him “while you’re at work, you get passionate about starting your business because the hate for your job is your leverage, but as soon as you get home, you forget a huge reason that drives you. I want you to take your work home with you.”

He asked me what that would achieve. I said “not literally, but I want you to train yourself, to feel that same fire at home. When you get home, the first thing I want you to do is remind yourself of is the pain of being at work. When you remember the reason, it will stimulate the same response and get you on the path of starting your own business.

He began that process and eventually got his business off the ground.

Your leverage

I mentioned before, we all have different things that drive us. It’s a wonderful problem solving skill, and a great exercise generally, to find the quirky things that drive us.

Whatever your desire, find the leverage. Find the reason that makes you feel unstoppable.

Whether your aim is to lose weight, start a business, write a book or change the world, what is the the reason that gives you the most fire?

Think of any occasion where you’ve felt a sense of urgency or fire in your belly that has caused you to desire massive change.

What then?

1. Put reminders up. Have it as the wallpaper on your phone.
2. Set calendar reminders that pop up and random intervals.
3. Put post it notes on the mirror you look into each day to get ready.
4. Get your friends to remind you.
5. Write it out 5 times each day in your diary.

Find any method you can to keep reminding yourself of the primary reason that drives you

Find your leverage!

Editors Note: This is a guest article by Anila Dhami who also writes her own blog here.

In the words of author Paulo Coelho ‘With every step we take, we arrive.’

When I uttered these words to a companion, she replied ‘why make things complicated?’ But the irony lies in her rhetorical question because in fact I had made things simpler. It is the human mind, governed by social constructs, governed by the man-made concept of time that complicates things.

Let me put forth another quotation that exemplifies why I had simplified things for her:

‘If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.’

- Lao Tzu

This quotation exemplifies how the human mind is constantly governed by temporality. We are either thinking about what we could have done better, the missed opportunities and feeling nostalgic for a past that is now nothing but a memory. Or we are, everyday, running towards a long-term goal; aspiring to be more than what we already are. We fail to realise that every step we take is fulfilling a goal on that journey.

In an age of advanced technology, living in the present is becoming more so of a challenge. When we are with friends, we take pictures to upload onto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – we are not really present or fully enjoying the moment. It is of course imperative to aspire, achieve and attain ones goals.

But rarely do we sit and say to ourselves ‘acknowledge this moment because it will be gone in exactly a moment.’ Every so often we should take time to live for the now because before we know it, the now we have past and we will once again be looking back at what we did not do.

Nobody knows what the future holds. You can save all of your money for a rainy day but if that rainy day never comes, you missed a lifetime of days when the sun was shining. So, how does one live in the moment, enjoy the sunshine and save for a rainy day you ask? Here are a few scenarios to help you live in the now:

One of the most common things we do on a daily basis is commute. You are waiting for the tube. It is arriving in 3 minutes. Don’t stand there counting the minutes and seconds on the clock. Focus on yourself. Focus on your thoughts. Congratulate yourself – you have just brought yourself back to the present moment!

You are sitting on a 45 minute journey on the train. Rather than thinking about your destination, what you will do when you arrive or planning meetings, look out of the window and simply enjoy the view.

Looking at the sky and scenery is calming and you are taking notice of the world in its present moment. If you are on the underground, think about yourself – you are here, in this moment, because of a life full of achievements. Be proud of yourself!

Run yourself a bubble bath rather than a quick shower. Showers are great in the morning before work but a soak in the bath is great for relaxing after a long day. Many people are ‘too busy’ to relax in the bath but it is the perfect retreat for some ‘me’ time.

And the simplest advice – put your phone away whilst with your friends! Engage in conversation with them and enjoy spending time with them because the moment will pass but Facebook, Twitter and Instagram will still be there!

If you are mindful of the things you are doing without automatically carrying out activities, you will automatically enjoy the sunshine on those rainy days. Carpe Diem!

Anila Dhami is a journalist and presenter, and is currently studying a Masters in Philosophy and Literature. She is founder of blog http://aniladhami.wordpress.com and broadcasts on her own YouTube Channel.

I’ve never really been a huge gamer.

I know some people take it to the extremes and buy every new console and game release as soon as they become available.

I’ve never actually owned a console and I’ve never really purchased a game in my life.

I have enjoyed dabbling in a few games over the years, such as; Doom, Unreal Tournament, Red Alert 2, Street Fighter, Mortal Combat (Raiden Wins!), Virtua Fighter 4, Angry Birds, and more recently Words With Friends. However, I’ve found my new gaming passion; and that game is Clash of Clans!

Similar to the idea of Red Alert, you build your village, troops and resources and you attack foes. However, on CoC, you join a clan and assist each other by donating troops which can then be used for either defending the honour of your troop mistresses (or at least, that’s what I call all those women wandering in an out of the town hall; like it’s some kind of harem!), or to attack foes to steal their treasures and resources.

I’ve learned so much from this game, for example, goblins are greedy and healers are hot! But, aside from all the shenanigans, there’s genuine learning to be had from a game like this.

1. Patience

As you progress in the game, upgrades take longer. I’ve had to become ever more patient to wait for those upgrades to complete. Like anything in life, things are rarely instantaneous. They take time. It has taught me to savour the anticipation and excitement for my upgrades to complete.

Any time I get impatient, they always seem to take longer. When I switch on my patience, the upgrades feel like they happen quickly. So any instance where my impatience kicks in, I remember to switch to patience mode and enjoy the anticipation.

2. Saving

Upgrades require resources. So as well as taking the time to wait for them to build, it also takes time to acquire resources to build. I’ve never been the best with money and saving but I am learning and getting better.

You have to learn the wisest investments to make (defences) as well as the best place to keep your savings (resources). It’s just like having real money in many ways; except there we have no gold coins and big treasure storage units.

3. The art of war

When I first started attacking other clans I was a rather useless at it. I wasn’t getting anything out of it and most of the time, it was costing me resources. Likewise, when being attacked, my defences were poor and I was losing trophy points all the time.

After repeated failure attempts, my attack strategy is now pretty sound. Although not 100% successful, more often than not I end up making a profit by stealing plenty of resources during the attacks.

Also, after months of trial and error, my village has rock solid defences. The last 8 out of 10 attacks (by players higher ranked than me) I’ve managed to successfully defend against. It’s all as a result from the trial and error. I make mistakes, learn, and get better.

4. Enjoying the ride

Whilst waiting, I’ve grown to enjoy that feeling excitement in anticipation of when those upgrades complete. I’ve actually started to pay attention to that feeling and have come to enjoy it, Rather than wanting the instant gratification.

5. Teamwork

It’s almost impossible to make great achievements without a great team behind you. The ‘London’ clan which I joined a couple of months ago, was purely by accident, but I’m so glad I joined it. It has some amazing people who are really helpful and some who are crazy quick at donating troops. That’s the kind of team you need in real life.

And so, in the spirit of things, I’d just like to give a mention to a few of my amazing comrades: CarnaFauna, Teppan, Horace, OmidMokh, NotMe, Mike, King Chutney Daryl, Emma, il Kil, Janek and Goblin Smacker!

6. Progress

It’s sometimes not so obvious to the beholder that progress has been made. In some ways, I don’t feel as if I’ve come very far. Only when I see the villages of beginners do I then fully grasp how much progress I’ve actually made.

In the same way, unless you benchmark, you won’t know how far you’ve come. Have a system, in your own life that allows you to track progress.

There we have it. So if you’re already playing, bring it, come and ‘ave a go if you think you’re hard enough!

If not, download and play. You never know what you might learn along the way!

Warning: Clash of Clans is highly addictive and may result in the negligence of friends, careers and loved ones!

I was having a chat with someone recently and an interesting topic came up about how to balance being present and grateful for everything in your life now, whilst also aspiring for more.

Are the two chains of thought mutually exclusive, or can they co-habit peacefully?

When they asked me the question, the answer was so obvious, I couldn’t believe that I’ve never thought of it before.

Before I reveal my reasoning, the absolute answer is yes! They are meant to go together. To us, they are like air and water. Both are essential for your survival but a single one on it’s own is not enough.

Learn to be grateful for what you have, while you pursue all that you want.

- Jim Rohn

You need both in order for your existence to flourish. Being mindful and present is a wonderful feeling. It truly is. It is the cure to many of the issues most people face on a daily basis. Coping with the rat-race, dealing with stress, trying to be keep up appearances, etc. All of these things can be eased by using the practise of mindful meditation.

We would however, totally stagnate if we didn’t have a destination in mind. The truth is that no journey is worthwhile unless there is a destination as part your plan. Yes, the journey is to be enjoyed, but a journey, without a destination is incomplete. Even when you reach your destination, you are already thinking about the next journey and destination.

That process will never end. The overall journey will never cease. Once it does cease, you will decide to start it again. It’s an eternal, unending framework.

Where there is no vision, the people perish

- Proverbs 29:18

Understand that one is not a substitute for the other. It’s not an either/or decision you can make. It’s a synergy, a synthesis, an unbreakable duality.

Pay attention to where your goals arise from. Are they coming from a place of dissatisfaction, or from a place of service? Are you constantly unhappy with the way your life is now? If so, then spend time time becoming grateful for the things as they are now. When you make goals from a state of impatience or unhappiness, you will find that you will rarely achieve your goals anyway.

However if made from a place where you feel fulfilled already, then the goals tend to be more clear. Remember, they are not there to be reached or pursued, they are there to unfold.

Goals are essentially milestones. The are benchmarks and nothing more. Don’t fall into the trap that you will feel a certain way, or that it will mean something very specific to upon completion. Those are the parts of the equations which are illusions.

Let go of the result. Don’t be attached to the outcome. You are responsible for taking steps and doing what you feel is necessary to complete that portion of your overall journey.

There is no beginning and end to it. So have a goal, a purpose, a destination and truly enjoy the journey that goes along with it. Stop and pay attention to it. Be mindful as it’s happening and be grateful that you are being blessed with every opportunity; that you have been given the precious gift of each moment.

How do you feel about this subject? How do you balance being present and wanting more?

Are you still holding onto something that happened a long time ago? Was it a missed opportunity? Was it something someone did to you? Was it a rejection? Are you still resentful?

Whatever the situation, if you’re holding onto something from the past, have you stopped to ask why and wonder what current opportunities you missed because you were so focussed on it? Do you wish you knew how to let go and move on quickly?

I overheard someone speaking recently, to another person I know, about something that happened some years ago. I was dumbfounded. Yes, I was so totally eves dropping, but I just couldn’t help but think what was the point in bringing it up years later? Do people really hold onto things that long? Why not deal with it sooner?

The only person being harmed, when you harbour resentment, is yourself.

Closure is important. I personally like to get rapid closure. I often say to people: ‘if I’ve pissed you off then don’t hold back, tell me so we can sort it out quickly!’ Tell me what I’ve done so it can be resolved; and you know what? Most of the time it’s just a very simple misunderstanding.

Opportunity Knocks

Was a specific opportunity passed to someone else? Did it leave you wondering why you weren’t picked? You might spend hours, days, even months wondering why you weren’t picked, and all the while other opportunities are passing you by. When you become fixated on something you miss a lot of what goes on around you.

Instead of worrying about why this opportunity passed you by why not focus on what you’re going to do differently when the next one comes around? Feel the difference in yourself from when you focus each of those different viewpoints. Ask yourself this: Which of the two are going to benefit you in the long run?

I’ve missed out on several opportunities recently and although I was a bit frustrated in the beginning I didn’t let it linger. I realized that staying in that frame of mind does two things: i) It kept me in a place where I was missing out on all the good stuff going on around me. ii) People were less likely to give me opportunities anyway because I was coming across as a “less attractive” option.

Rationalizing those thoughts and feelings is one way to go with this but on it’s own is not effective enough. Combined with focus you get the right combination of two tools to move on swiftly. Here are some examples of things that people hang on to needlessly.

Being Let Down

An example I came across recently: Person A, was not invited to person B’s party. Person A thought that they were good friends and expected an invite. So when they didn’t get one, they were frustrated and upset. Rather than tackling it head on. They let in linger and in the end the friendship ended.

Rejection

Have you ever been rejected by the opposite sex? Maybe you asked them out and they said no. Maybe you long term partner broke up with you and the pain is causing you to close up and waste your life away. You’ve anchored pain to relationships and so you sabotage all your future opportunities for love.

‘The Amit Method’ On How To Let Go And Move On Quickly

I hope you like the name ‘The Amit Method’ as I thought it was kinda catchy and totally original. You’ve read my examples, yours maybe slightly different in nature, but in all cases a few simple principles can be employed to let go, move on quickly and start grabbing life by the balls again!

1. Rationalizing – I mentioned earlier about rationalizing thoughts in your head. You can do that by simply changing the way you think about something. If in the past you thought ‘why didn’t they want me?’ you could instead think ‘okay that’s one opportunity gone. Never mind, onto the next!’ It’s very simple process of changing the way you think.

2. Focus – There is a certain amount of physical manifestation of rejection. You may get that sensation in the pit of your stomach. If anything, what that is telling you is what you are focusing on. Start paying attention to the next thing on your list. When you pay attention you automatically start to forget the past rejections.

3. Meaning – This ties in point 1. Whatever meaning you attached to the rejection will determine how you feel about it. If it means disaster to you then naturally you’re going to feel bad. If you decide that it’s no biggy, and that you’re going to learn from it then, hey presto, you’ll feel indifferent and more able to let go.

4. Vocalize – You’d be surprised at just how much vocalizing will help. Sometimes when you hear yourself say something the clarity that can come with it can almost be magical. Whether it’s asking for feedback or asking someone why you were rejected there is no substitute for this in getting closure.

5. Affirm – Tell yourself it’s time to move on and let go. Sounds kind of obvious but so overlooked and important. Observe your thoughts, and then overwrite them with a loud booming voice: ‘LET GO AND MOVE ON’.

A Final Rationalized Thought

Learning how to let go and move on quickly is for your own good. It is your own precious time that is being wasted on something that potentially was a misunderstanding, or in the grand scheme of things, was just quite small. If all else fails just get someone to tell you how stupid you’re being and maybe that might be enough to kick-start you onto bigger and better things!