Okay, so why the picture of the two naked ladies with apples and what the heck does it have to do with jokes? Nothing, I was just shamelessly trying to get more visitors to this post…I was trying to convey the message like they do in those beer commercials…drink this and you could have lovely ladies all over you too!

Same with the title, how else was I going to get you to read this article?!

Anyway, I love jokes, they taste great! I always used to have a problem where I never could remember the jokes I was told. I would hear a joke and then try and tell it at a later date and then really screw it up. In fact, I pretty much, annihilated the whole joke and by the time I eventually got the punch line there was no one left around me to tell. (Some of my friends may argue that is still the case!)

I’m still not sure why, but I love making people laugh! It is a bit like a drug, a healthy drug, and the laughter acts like a magnet. When was the last time you laughed so much your ribs hurt? I don’t know about you but sometimes, the silliest of things, can still be the funniest!

I collated some of my favourite one-liner jokes to share with you as well as some gags for parties. I’m always sharing inspirational quotes but now I wanted to share some humour. These jokes are not my creation, so if I have not credited them and you own the joke, let me know who I’ve stolen it from…so I can rub it in further.

It’s great to have an arsenal of jokes ready like a belt full of Batman’s gadgets…they can be used anywhere and any time to break the ice. They are great at parties and you can even use some of this jokes if you’re giving a talk or a speech, or even just at the bar with your buddies…so you look like the cool one who everyone wants to be mates with. Another great way to attract imaginary ladies!

Without further ado, here are some great one liners…

1. I’m never wrong! One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken!

2. I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking.

3. I’ve started going up to peoples doors and preaching about my new gym, it’s called Jehovah’s Fitness.

4. Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.

5. A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

6. Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?

7. I moved into a bungalow recently. I was going to move into a house, but that’s another storey!

8. Do you know what really bugs me? Discreetly placed microphones…

9. Yesterday, my girlfriend said she needed to take a break from me…so I gave her a Kit Kat

10. I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer to wash my face.

Since you’ve read this far I’m going to throw in the bonus of giving you my favourite chat up lines…

1. Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?

2. Is your name Summer? ‘Coz you’re HOT!

Further Bonus: Woah, you’ve come a long way to being an absolute stud or studette! So to complete your transformation, learn these following jokes or keep others like them in your arsenal, and you are sure to become a sex machine!

1. Doctor: “I’m going to have to pull the plug on your son. Mother: “Why, I thought you said he was perfectly healthy?” Doctor: Oh I did but his bath is overflowing.

2. A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said ‘OK take off all your crose.’ The woman did as she was told. ‘Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.’ Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said ‘OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.’ So she did. Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said ‘Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease…..Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.’ Worried the woman asked anxiously ‘Oh my God Dr.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?’ Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied…. ….’Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.’

3. TEACHER: If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Sir. Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven! Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven!! Very angry Teacher: Where the heck are you getting 7 from?! Very angry Johnny: Because I have one at home sir!!

Feeling down? The reason you are is because of a biased perception. You have conditioned your mind to focus on the things that cause those emotions.

How we think, we feel. How we feel, we think. It’s a cycle that is constantly in motion. The easier of the two to control is our thoughts so it’s a good place to begin making changes.

Before we begin a transformation, take a moment to be honest with yourself. Do you end up feeling down quite often? Do you feel down more often than you feel good? Do you often find yourself sitting around feeling depressed or sorry for yourself?

If you do then the reason is quite simple; it’s because you’ve conditioned your mind to look at all the things that are missing in your life. It’s become your main habitual pattern of thinking.

If you could snap out of that habit and initiate the realisation that you are then you can being to break that habit and start feeling better.

When people begin the conversation by asking what you do, do you often reply with “it’s quite boring actually”? Is that how you perceive your life and all the things you do?

You may now have built up this idea in your head that it’s boring but the truth is, it could be very interesting to the person you’re speaking too. Maybe you’re just putting it across in a mundane way.

This first step will provide a clue as to the way you perceive your your own value.

The second step can be quite tough to initiate the process. It involves waking up and having a the courage to look at the real reason you might be feeling down.

It involves analysing not why, but what it is that you’ve been focussing on that is causing you to feel down.

Are you thinking about what is missing in your life? Perhaps you feel lonely and lost? In that moment, can you switch it around and start to look at what you do have?

Maybe you’re thinking about what you’re owed or what life owes you. All of these are you thinking about the lack of something in your life.

Perception has flexible traits. That means it can be moulded according to what you choose. If you’re overpowered by habitual thinking, you can feel better right now by knowing that changing those habits is within your power.

Sometimes, when you’re feeling down, the emotions can be too strong to force them to change there and then. It’s worth letting them take their natural course. When you start to feel better then you can use the powers of your perspective to return to balance.

Before I go further there’s something I need to make clear. There are times when you’re going to feel elated and equally there are times when you are going to feel down.

The objective here is not to never feel down, because that is unrealistic. It’s to minimise the time in those down periods and to prevent them from happening too often.

I like to think of emotions in a simplistic format of 3 levels. Think of a scale; on side you have negative emotions, on the other, you have positive emotions.

The middle is place of the neutral. It’s where you are in flow. In that place I am not actually emotionally aware, I am just in action. A place of unconscious competence where my natural abilities emerge.

The positive side of the emotions might occur when I first hold a baby in my arms or get my dream job. The negative might occur when I’ve been hurt or someone close to me gets hurt.

The neutral flow is where I am at right now while writing this article. I am neither happy nor sad and yet just very content and grateful in allowing these words to emerge from me with fluidity.

When I’m stuck in the place of feeling down it’s very hard for me to get to the neutral place or to the positive side. Especially when it’s become a habit to think and feel that way that it happens frequently.

The solution here is training. It takes time to train the mind to move away from the habit of focussing on the lack to it’s opposite; asking where do I have abundance.

Just like the way you would give up smoking you can break the habit and get from a place where you’re always feeling down to where you’re in the neutral and positive ends of the emotional scale.

Let me offer some keys that can aid you to return your biased perception to a balanced perception.

1. Be honest with yourself about your emotional state and how often you feel down. If that’s the case every other day then your perception is very biased towards the things missing in your life.

Only when you redress that balance will you stop feeling down on such a regular basis

2. Feeling down is always the result of focussing on lack or what is missing. Know that there is nothing missing, it is just in a form that you do not recognise. When you choose to find and see that which you think you lack it will put the brakes on you feeling down.

3. Look carefully at the way you respond to personal questions that people ask you such as, what you do. This will offer a clue to the way you value yourself and the way your perception is currently balanced.

4. Know that your perception is flexible and perhaps ask the opinion of others with regards to their perception of events you may be facing. That could also trigger change.

5. Feeling down is a part of life and you cannot eliminate it totally. Know that it will happen sometimes and then just go with it.

6. Whatever you’re feeling like right now, it doesn’t matter. Absorb this information and understand it. So that in the future, when you’re feeling down, you can use this information to trigger a new paradigm in your thinking.

When was the last time you were feeling down, was it because you were focussing on lack? Or do you think it was because of something else?

Personal development can be a fickle world. One minute everyone is talking about goals and the next everyone is saying don’t have goals, just live according to your moment to moment inspiration.

So my question to you is are you living according to your heart or the voices of all the writers, bloggers and personal development guru’s drowning out your own intuition? Is your gut feeling being gutted out by information overload?

I’ve had the virus of listening to what others had to say but listening to those voices created a virus within me. It was the virus of guilt. I felt like I had to do what I was being told in order to fit in with the crowd.

It stems from the playground mentality. The mentality of not wanting to the one left out. However the person who thinks for themselves end up being the leader of the pack rather than a follower.

It’s not because they want to be the leader, but that their power of their natural ability to follow their own voice makes them naturally attractive to others.

Think for yourself. Make your own mind up. Don’t just follow the crowd, be a rebel who make his/her own path.

Here are some examples of where I’ve made up my own mind.

Sleep

There is a general consensus that one must wake up early. Why? I don’t necessarily agree. While I think there are health benefits to waking up early there are also drawbacks. Being locked in a routine often means that disruption from that routine can cause problems.

When I was in India for a month I was only sleeping about 3 hours a night and having a brief nap in the afternoon. Because I was flexible it didn’t affect me I couldn’t follow a set routine. Just think if you are in set routine and suddenly you have to go away for a weekend to another country? How will that affect your routine?

Waking up naturally offers far more benefits and out weighs the pro’s of being an early riser. Sleep as much as you want and wake up when you want. If you want to set yourself a routine go for it.

Food

I’ve been a vegetarian my entire life and a few years back I tried going vegan but I found it too difficult. So, I continued to eat small amounts of cheese but I mainly stuck to organic products. Then I realised that I really liked the taste of fish so I gave it a go!

“Omg, Amit, that’s blasphemy in the personal development world!” Yes, I know, so sue me!

I loved it but strangely, one day, I saw some sushi in a supermarket and it suddenly put me off fish. But last year I started eating it again. I find it helps, especially when training, to increase strength and make my joints more supple. I don’t eat it all the time, just occasionally when I feel like it.

I also went through a phase where I was only eating organic produce. Then, again while I was in India, I realised I didn’t have that luxury. I could only eat what was given to me. Because of my situation I even started drinking coffee just while I was there. I was a beggar and I couldn’t be a chooser.

Because I’d adopted a flexible attitude I didn’t mind. I didn’t chastise myself just because I broke the coffee vow I’d made four years prior.

Eat whatever you wish. Create your own diet plan that suits you.

Exercise

Are you doing the sport you really want or are you doing the easy, yoga type, sports because that’s what you think you should be doing? Aggressive sports are not for our kind. Bullshit! You do whatever you want because you enjoy it.

I love badminton and it’s a sport filled with ego! Yet when my ego comes into play I am a better player. If my opponent has touched a nerve and has ignited my ego that makes me play that much harder!

I tried doing Tai Chi for a short time and it was in a park too. It was great but I realised it wasn’t for me. I didn’t enjoy it so I gave it up. Why do something you don’t enjoy? Be true to yourself and make sure you’re doing things you want to and not because you’re being told to.

—

Don’t lie to yourself, be true to your wishes and gut feelings.

What things have you done in the past because you thought you ‘should’ be doing them? Share you thoughts.

In July, Darren from Problogger posted up a 7 links challenge for bloggers. Several of my blogging friends have taken up the challenge and I wanted to get mine up too.

If you’re a blogger, take up the 7 links challenge for yourself.

1. My First Blog Post

My first blog post was very original and had an original name too; I called it, ‘My First Blog‘! As you will more than likely be able to tell I really didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I did however put that up in December 2005 and so I am somewhat a grand-daddy of personal development blogging; where’s my false teeth, pipe and slippers?!

2. The Post I Enjoyed Writing The Most

I loved writing 10 reasons why you should start playing badminton. I didn’t take that one too seriously and I just had lots of fun with it. Badminton is still my favourite sport and I still play at least 3 times a week. I’m determined to give badminton the same kind of status as tennis and hopefully the same kind of prize money too!

3. A Post With Great Discussion

My post about University being pointless was by far my most controversial. Although the discussion here was intense, the discussion on Facebook was far more intense and I even had a few people de-friend me as a result. There were some people who were seriously offended by it.

4. A Post On Someone Else’s Blog I Wish I’d Written

Arvind wrote this post about Gandhi which has since been one of his most popular. It has been tweeted extensively and still generates a lot of traffic for him.

5. A Post With A Title I’m Proud Of

Lets face it, any article with ‘Orgasmic‘ in the title has to be good! This post was fun, again something not to be taken seriously, just for a giggle and to do something that hasn’t been done before.

6. A Post That I Wish More People Had Read

I put a huge amount of work into this article but I published it before I put much more effort into promoting my blog and so it never got that much attention. The core principles of life is a key to all of us. It is the basis for being mindful and has the fundamentals for living more consciously.

7. My Most Visited Post

Perception Vs Reality – still my number 1 hit article from Google. It’s a popular search string and my article is at the top! (Queue the superhero trumpet music!)

Illusions hold you back. They stop you from striving forward and making leaps and bounds towards fulfilling all of your hopes and desires.

There are 7 specific illusions and I promise you will recognise at least two, out of the seven, that you will have used on yourself within the past month.

Read through them carefully and understand them. Wake up and recognise when you start using them to break that pattern of thinking.

1. I will do something when I have more time…

This is a massive one. A common statement I hear people make is ‘I’ll get to it when I have the time. I’ll meet you when I have the time.’ Etc. There is no such thing as ‘I don’t have the time’. If something is important to you, you automatically make the time.

It’s probably the biggest of the 7 illusions that still plagues humanity. You don’t necessarily have to be honest with other people to the level where it hurts their feelings, but do be 100% honest with yourself. What is the real reason you’re not making time for someone or something?

2. I will get there faster if I…

You will never reach your destination any quicker than you are supposed to. When you do reach a milestone it will have happened exactly how it should have happened. You can try all you want but those efforts are a part of the enjoyment of the journey.

They make reaching the destination that much sweeter. When you try all you marketing techniques, your strategies your tactics, let go of the outcome and allow them to unfold naturally.

3. I have control over…

You have control over nothing except your own mind. Our spirit has access to this world through the mind in the same way that we plug into the phone socket to get internet access. Now that the tool is available to you what you do with it is up to you. You control nothing except your own mind.

Even then, the best use of that tool is release. When you let go amazing things happen.

4. I will be happy if…

I still hear this old chestnut. People still hold the illusion that if X happens then I will be happy. No you won’t! If you haven’t developed your mental perception to see the reason for happiness now, or just the happiness of being, nothing will change the way you feel.

You may temporarily be happy by winning the lottery but unless you understand how to manage it you will be pulled in all sorts of directions. People may want to borrow money. You may worry about being robbed of your wealth.

Whatever your situation is now, be happy. Even if it changed drastically for the better, If you weren’t happy in the first place, I very much doubt that you’ll be happy after the change.

5. I can change others…

When you try to change other people they will often resist the change. Unless you understand how to communicate in their value system, and inspire them to change themselves, you will always be stuck trying to change them according to your values.

You can never change a person. You can however change the way you see them. When you change the way you perceive them they will change in your eyes without them actually changing.

6. I will go and do this when…

A perfect example of this is in one of my older articles called Going It Alone and the part about being and IGUIG (I’ll go if you go) kind of person. Do you stop yourself from doing the things you really want to do until the circumstances are just right? What if they are never right, does that mean you’ll never go and do it?

In the case of that article I talked about doing things alone. When you do that you’re not waiting for circumstances to be perfect. You just do it anyway and that is the best place to be in.

7. I’ll start exercising when I have more energy…

This one really does embody the term self fulfilling prophecy or vicious cycle. It’s ironic and I’ve seen this with so many people. They think they’ll undertake an exercise regime when they have more energy. What they don’t realise is that they will get more energy from exercising.

So unless they take that first step they are very unlikely to get the increase in energy that they’re hoping for.

Are there any illusions holding you back?

Editors Note: This is an outstanding guest post by Zeenat Merchant-Syal of Positive Provocations

This past few months, I found myself in the middle of a personal crisis. Things were changing, growing, and expanding. Many of the goals I had set for my life and my business were manifesting. At the same time, new opportunities were presenting themselves and it was becoming challenging to keep on top of it all, to have clarity about which were the right opportunities to pursue and which weren’t. And things were happening at a pace that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

I was starting to notice the warning signs that something wasn’t quite right. My life was starting to feel chaotic, a feeling I don’t like, and out of control, a feeling I definitely don’t like. It was beginning to feel like my life was running me, that these changes and new opportunities were taking on a life of their own and I was merely coming along for the ride. I was having a hard time making decisions about my life and my business, and I wasn’t happy about it all.

So I decided to take a break. I was going to get away from it all and spend some time revisiting both my life and business plans. This was something I had found invaluable in the past, taking the time to clarify my goals, my priorities and my vision for my life. Having a plan and a vision had helped me to achieve a great deal of success in many areas and to stay on track in the past. So my plan for my “break” was to re-work my life and business plans. The Universe, on the other hand, had other plans.

And that was my first mistake. My break was going to be a “working” break , at least in part. Never mind that I hadn’t had a real break in a very long time. You know, an actual BREAK, time where you don’t work at all, where you just relax, kick back, and enjoy yourself. A time out, to renew your body, mind and soul. But it was okay, I rationalized. I needed to re-work my life vision, it was important. And I was still going to get a break because I wasn’t going to work on anything other than my life and business plans. I wasn’t going to answer business email, work on the blog, or any of the numerous tasks I could still do while I was away from the office. And I was only taking my computer along to work on my business and life goals. Yeah right. A nice little story to tell myself to be sure, but deep down I knew better.

And sure enough, the very first night, within hours of my so called break, I was trying to access the internet to check my email. You saw that coming didn’t you? And that’s when the Universe stepped in. While trying to access the internet, my computer just shut down.

Hmmm, not good.

But without thinking much of it, computers do sometimes freeze up and do odd things, I went ahead and tried to restart it. Much to my horror, each time I tried to reboot, I got an error message. One I had never seen before. And nothing I tried to get my computer up and running again worked. It wouldn’t even boot up in safe mood.

Uh oh. Really not good.

Not knowing how to solve the problem and fearful of perhaps wiping the hard drive if I did the wrong thing, I gave up and shut the computer down, and decided to deal with it later. And that was my first breakthrough.

In the past, I would have panicked. I would have felt the need to do something about this situation immediately. Even if it was impossible to do something about the situation right then and there, I would have stressed and worried over it all night long and continued to try and fix the problem. Instead, I decided to leave it alone until the next day when I would try and find a place that could either fix the problem, or at the very least recover my files from the hard drive. Whatever the problem was, there was going to be a solution, and it didn’t have to be addressed right that moment. Whoa, what a breakthrough! So I put the computer away and spent the rest of the evening relaxing with my little girl and a book.

The next day, I had an even bigger breakthrough. I decided to do nothing at all about the computer, at least for now. It could wait. I could live without it for a week. I was on a Break after all. I was comfortable with the realization that whether I took the computer to a repair shop that day or a week later, it wasn’t going to change the outcome. And besides, I knew the truth, if I got the computer fixed that day, I was going to try and work on more than just my life and business plans. I was going to try and get caught up on a lot of other work stuff I needed to do. And now, I couldn’t. As for my life and business plans, I could work on those the old fashioned way, with pen and paper if need be.

So now I was back to the original “plan” for my break, to revisit my life and business plans and try to relax a little too if I could fit that in, but I wasn’t going to work. And that’s exactly what happened.

Well, not quite.

As I said, the Universe had other plans. I prefer to type rather than use pen and paper for a variety of reasons. Without my computer, I wasn’t in any hurry to start writing down my goals, my priorities, etc. So I didn’t. Instead, I spent the first full day of my break eating, sleeping, reading, and just relaxing. And that is exactly how I spent the rest of my break — eating, sleeping, reading, taking walks with my little girl, and just hanging out in the house. I didn’t think about any of the choices I had to make, the changes that were happening in my life, or what I thought I should be doing. I let it all go and thought about — nothing. And the most miraculous thing happened . . . .

When I came back from that Break, I was crystal clear about what I wanted, where I wanted to go, what changes I needed to make, what opportunities I should and shouldn’t pursue, and most importantly, what was right for me. Crystal, clear, clarity. All from doing nothing.

Tweaking Myself

Not only was I clear in what was the right course of action for me to take, it became clear to me that it wasn’t my life and business plans that needed to be tweaked, it was me. My life and business plans, goals and objectives were still aligned with my life vision. However, when you are constantly ‘in motion’ whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, you can get off center, and loose sight of your priorities and your life vision even if it’s staring you in the face — my life vision and my business goals and objectives hang over my desk where I can see them every day. It didn’t matter. I had lost my center and the ability to clearly and effectively make decisions and choices that were aligned with my life vision. I was allowing myself to be pulled in other directions by the wants, needs, goals and objectives of others. After my ‘time out’, I was back on track, able to stay centered and focused on what was important for my mental, emotional and spiritual well-being and the success of my life vision.

While working on a life and/or business plan can be an invaluable tool, and can help us to stay focused and to manifest our goals and objectives, sometimes, we just need to stop and do nothing, to allow ourselves time to return our center. Whether we take a vacation, or practice daily meditation, or a daily break, we need to take the time to get away from all the things that are trying to pull us in a million different directions all at once, including our own thoughts.

As to that computer problem. Well, it seems “doing nothing” worked there as well. The last night of my break, I was lying in bed and suddenly the answer just popped into my head. The next day, I pulled out the manual, followed a few simple steps, and fixed the problem myself, saving me the cost of taking it to someone else. Had I continued to try and fix the problem myself when my mind wasn’t clear and I was stressed and anxious, I could have very easily made the situation worse and done something to the computer that was irreversible such as wiping the hard drive. Instead, doing nothing initially about the problem, allowed time for my thoughts to settle, for my mind to work the problem out on it’s own, in it’s own time. In this case the answer was how to solve the problem myself. The answer could have just as easily have been to take it to someone else. Either way, doing nothing allowed me the opportunity to gain clarity about how best to proceed in order to minimize my damages.

Now two months later, it is time to revisit my life and business plans, to tweak them to fit my changing vision and goals. And I will, but not while I’m on my regular break.

About The Author

Zeenat Merchant Syal is a Practicing Counseling Psychologist/Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker & Naturopath with degrees in Motivational and Counseling Psychology & various fields of Holistic and Naturopathic Medicine.
Her blog Positive Provocations focuses on Positive Thinking through Healing the Mind, Body, Heart &Soul-Spreading Positivity, Motivations, Inspiration, Love & Happiness.

Subscribe to her blog updates by RSS or Email. or Follow her on Twitter

This post is exactly as the title states. 10 magnificent messages that we can spread across the globe. I won’t leave you salivating any longer. Share these messages with everyone you know.

1. Nowness

I remember watching a program by the noted physicist and musician Brian Cox on the BBC regarding time.

One of the things he talked about was that because things only happen after an interval, we can never experience the now. For example, the light from the Sun takes eight minutes to reach our eyes. It then takes time for the brain to translate what it sees.

I disagree with Brian because there was something he forgot to mention. He forgot to mention what I experience immediately with my creative faculties. If I close my eyes and picture a boat that experience is immediate for me. And so, with that creative talent, I can then experience being in the now.

Even if, in reality, it is not the case, I can still come as close to that experience of now that my mind will allow. That feeling of being present is a pinnacle of spiritual state whilst in a body. It is an amazing feeling which is unmatched.

Spread the message to the world of the beauty of being in the now.

2. Decisiveness

The power of decision is the most powerful innate gift that we all have. There are endless debates going on around the world about whether we have the free will to choose or whether everything is just fate. Who cares?! I for one do not!

It’s irrelevant whether we have free will or not but I choose to live my life that way. I don’t care what I’m fated to be or do, I will just act as if I can choose my life every single step of the way. I will live as if I have given the gift of choice or free will and will live according to that doctrine.

I will make things happen through my decision rather than wait for them to happen through some unknown cosmic force.

Spread the message to live as if we are creatures that have free will. It’s the more blessed of the two schools of thought.

3. Attraction

I still think that the law of attraction is still probably one of the least understood concepts in the world of personal development. I was at a seminar a few years back. The lady sitting next to me was telling me how she’d met the man of her dreams and that she hadn’t even used the law of attraction.

It took me a long time to shake off my laughter before I explained to her that she could not, not have used the law of attraction. It is never switched on or off by the way we think. It is always on. Her attracting the perfect man was still the law of attraction.

She did not do it at the level of conscious thought. In fact the law of attraction does not work at the level of conscious thought. It works only at the level of unconscious thought. I tried to explain that to her but she still didn’t seem to get it and insisted that she hadn’t used the law of attraction to get her man.

Spread the message that the law of attraction is a universal constant. It cannot be switched off. All we can do is direct our unconscious mind to what we want the most.

4. Wealth Creation

Money is neither good or evil. It is a means. You decide then end. I was watching a show the other day about Monaco. It is probably the most affluent place in the world and it has very little, if any, crime at all. In fact the presenter showed an example of a Monaco newspaper and a British newspaper.

The front of the British paper was full of doom and gloom and the front of the Monaco paper was about yachts! It also had a lovely story in there about a 90 year old man who managed to go hand gliding. An ever so slight contrast.

Money can be used for evil but it can also do amazing things. I believe everyone on the planet has a right to feel wealthy. It doesn’t matter if you earn £10,000 a year or £100,000, you can feel wealthy. It is entirely the way that money is perceived and what is done with it.

Spread the message that wealth is a mindset which everyone has the right to and is capable of creating.

5. Synchronicity

When those spooky events occur, like when a person calls just as you were thinking about them, it is not only a sign of our messages being sent out but they are also being received. Pay attention to those events as they are laying out of map of what we are thinking or desiring at a deeper level.

Every human being has experienced an event of this kind. We are all capable of experiencing serendipity or providence and it is never by accident. Those events are meant to be through some unconscious desire. Whether your are the sender or receiver pay attention to them and take note when they happen.

Spread the word that synchronous events are not by accident. It is a pair with where intention has reached harmony.

6. Spirituality

Spirituality is not where you are or what you do, it is how you do it. Your golf swing can be a deep spiritual experience for you. Your business is a spiritual quest to create wealth for many people. Your one night stand with a stranger can be a deep spiritual experience.

With the understanding that anything can be spiritual suddenly things don’t seem mundane. You start to feel that your actions have a deeper purpose and meaning. When I walk it’s a spiritual experience. When I write it’s a spiritual experience. When I stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people it is a spiritual experience.

Begin seeing your actions with new eyes. That they have a deeper meaning on a cosmic level.

Spread the message that anything can be spiritual.

7. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is often associated with Buddhism but I see it as something that can be implemented in ones life regardless of religion. Being mindful is about bringing fourth to the conscious mind the amazing things that we do unconsciously. A great example is becoming aware of your heartbeat. Ask yourself what is keeping your heart beating?

Don’t focus too much on the answer though, just focus on the amazing feat of nature that it is. The chemical reactions or the heart pumping blood around the body. Another simple one observing you mind and body as you move your arm. What is the driver?

It is not the answers you are seeking through this process. It is simply paying attention to the miraculous processes that are going on all the time whilst you are unaware.

Spread the message of the practise of mindfulness and let all liberate their minds.

8. Purpose

Everyone has a purpose, not everyone discovers what that is. Our purpose is set way before we are born. As we get older we want to find that purpose and fulfil it. Those who do are happy and those who do not feel helpless.

You can find your purpose by discovering what really makes you happy and what things really make you enjoy life. If you are truly lost then my most powerful suggestion to you is to help others find their purpose and you will move a step closer to finding yours.

You existence is not a mishap, it was intended. When it was intended there was reason. There is a purpose we all share in that we all want to constantly recreate ourselves. Then there is another purpose which is unique to you.

Spread the message of our common purpose and the discovery of our unique purpose.

9. Oneness

There is a general consensus among the great minds across the globe that we are connected in some way. I believe we are actually connected in two ways. The first of which is on the physical level. We are interconnected the way that is demonstrated through non-local connection or entanglement.

I also believe we are connected at a non-physical or incorporeal level; a level that cannot be tested or experimented with scientific instruments. It can only be experienced once we leave the physical plain and enter the alternate realms. Whether that be through death, astral projection or meditation.

I’m totally open to the fact that I could be completely wrong. However, the attitude that comes with knowing that I am connected to everyone and everything, means that I am more likely to treat them equally. It means that all things become sacred. If everything is part of me and I am part of everything then karma is irrelevant. It means that as a natural consequence I will treat them with reverence and a naturally affinity.

Spread the message to treat everyone and everything as if you are connected with them.

10. Love

Love is an amazing word. There are so many flavours of love. The love you have for a spouse. The love you have for your friends and family. The love you have for your laptop if you’re a blogger.

I believe the word love to be synonymous with gratitude and appreciation. Many people give those words different meanings but I believe at the core level they are equal.

You don’t need a lecture from me on what love is, but all I will say is live a life filled with love. Give it, receive it, have it and never be ashamed of it.

Spread the message to the world to love more! Love things, love people, love life challenges and most importantly, love yourself!

I love London in the summer. There is so much to see and do. One of my favourite London landmarks is the lions at Trafalgar Square surrounding Nelsons Column.

I go there often and just enjoy watching the hustle and bustle of the tourists and soaking up the atmosphere!

Even though I’ve lived in London for better part of 20 years, there was a point a few years back when I was there and I realised that I’ve never ever climbed onto the lions!

It’s a massive tourist attraction and people come from all over the world to climb them and take pictures with their friends and family!

So I tried to climb and I realised it was a bit harder than it looked. I’m a heavy chap and there was no way my friend could’ve given me a leg-up. Besides, I was determined to find a way to do it by myself and after several bruised knees and a battered ego, I finally succeeded!

I found the technique that meant I could do it, at any time, by myself! It was a tough journey, there were moments I wanted to forget, like the one below were it looked like I was humping the poor lion.

You should've seen the look on the lions face!

After several hours of therapy, the lion agreed to let me try again! I then realised that with a run up and using it’s tail to spring off, I could get enough grip and leverage to pull myself up. So, if you don’t have help, take a run up, and use the tail as the first step. Then the second step up the lions backside should give you enough grip to pull yourself up.

Using the tail to climb with a run up

Voila! You’ll be at the top of the lions! It’s a great feeling when you finally make it up, kind of like climbing Mt Everest, only not so high.

Success!

Once you’re up you can help others up and just sit back and enjoy the great view!

Lay back and relax

Are you planning on coming to London? If so let me know. Go and visit the lions and I may even come and join you.

A huge thanks to Pilgab for the great photo!

It’s still early days for me since being made redundant. Although I still have no fixed plan, and I’m still uncertain of which path I’m going to take to generate an income, something deep inside of me is telling me that this is the best thing to ever happen to me. Lots of other people are telling me that too but nothing is as powerful as the feeling within me.

Keeping that in mind, have you ever felt that there are signs or markers pointing you in a certain direction? How often to you pay attention to that inner/outer guidance or intuition? There are breadcrumbs being left for us but most never follow the trail.

So many follow their head instead of their heart. When I say that I mean that people literally do what they think they should be doing rather than what they know deep down to be right for them. It’s the result of being told what to think rather than how to think over years of poor guidance and education.

Since the whole process of being made redundant began for me, certain things have been cropping up over and over again. I have been seeing signs everywhere gently nudging me in a few particular directions; particularly towards my strengths.

There are two very strong ones, and even though both of them have yet to amount to anything, they have offered me something which, during this time, is priceless. They offered me hope! When you’re in the worst of places hope is the bridge the gets you from one side to the other.

There is a powerful word that describes this trail of breadcrumbs and it is synchronicity. I had two such events recently.

The first was when I first found out the possibility that I was going to be made redundant from work. At the first meeting when they asked me what I would like to instead of being a network analyst, I responded “social media manager”. I had no idea that roles like that existed. To be honest, I’d just made that up. I explained to them that I was good with social media technologies and SEO. They said that no such roles existed within the company.

After a few days I received a few pieces of junk mail that also started pointing me in that direction. You might think the junk mail was worthless but it was giving several ideas and expanding my mind and opening my mind to what was possible.

Then I had a look on some job websites and saw that there were actually positions for Social Media Managers. It wasn’t necessarily the path I was going to take but it provided me with a fresh option to be explored.

The second was to do with radio. Some years ago I’d heard that a particular station was recruiting for presenters. That memory surfaced recently for some bizarre reason and I started to wonder if that station was recruiting again. Within the space of a day I’d had three people tell me that the station in question was recruiting. I had not told anyone that I’d had that specific thought. They had told me and go in touch me through their own volition after hearing about it.

Being totally honest, none of those have amounted to anything yet but, they did provide me with a combination of hope and options. The two provided me with a feeling that I had more options open to me than I’d previously thought. The very idea behind them was opening new doors to me.

I know of people who’ve been in, and are in, the same situation as me. I can say to you and them that there are unexplored options there. Listen to the guidance and spot the breadcrumbs. Follow them because you never know where they may lead.

Yes, they may not always bear fruit, but at least you can look back with your head held high and say you tried; that you gave it your best shot! Would you not rather that be the case then looking back and wondering what might have been had you explored certain options?

Start following the breadcrumbs.

I don’t pretend to be a life coach that knows all the answers. I don’t pretend that I always do everything right or always make the best decisions. Sometimes I feel scared; shock horror! Somebody call the papers, a life coach who’s admitted his fear!

I get things wrong and I do sometimes feel lost. No one is above or beyond those kinds of feelings no matter how much they pretend.

This week I was made redundant from work. Even though I’m only 33 I’ve been working since I was 15. That means I’ve been in the rat race for over 18 years. This is an unusual time for me as this coming Monday I will no longer have to wake up and get ready to go to work. It’s definitely a weird feeling when it’s something you’ve been doing for so long.

Although I know I have a bigger purpose, I have yet to decide what I’m going to do now that I’ll be out there on my own. I have plenty of ideas of things I’d like to do, but I wanted to see what people would say to me, knowing where I currently am. This is where I’d like to invite your ideas, coaching, suggestions etc. based on all that I do.

There are certain things that will definitely take some adjusting to. I will no longer be getting a fixed monthly income with benefits. I will no longer have a set routine pattern that I will have to follow. I will no longer have to travel into the office. (Even though I only used to drive a few miles!)

Of course, I don’t just see this as an ending, I see this as a beginning with new opportunities. I know this means that I will no longer have to answer to a particular boss.

However, entrepreneur or not, I’ve always believed that there is the concept of service. Regardless of whether of working for someone or myself, I will always answer to my clients. Whether that be in the form of my coaching clients, or entertaining an audience, I will be always be doing a form of service.

Taking into consideration that I’ve been coaching for 6 years, doing radio for over 3 years, doing comedy for over 2 years, and have been writing for over 5 years, I need to turn these skills into in a model allows me to generate an income from it. I want these things that I love doing, my hobbies to become my livelihood.

With all that mind and all that you know about me, what would you ask me and what steps would you recommend I take? I look forward to reading through your suggestions and answers.

A huge merci beaucoup to jturn for the picture.

You’re reading this article because of an amazing synchronicity telling you that it’s time step up a level. No longer will you dithering around on the bottom rung of the ladder feeling hopeless and depressed.

If you really want to climb the ladder to a more enlightened level of thinking and raise your vibration, you need to raise your vision and let go of your outcomes.

This process, which I’m going to aptly name ‘The Sodha Method’, is probably the most simple and yet powerful process you can follow to get out of any rut or any place where you’re feeling hopeless.

Sometimes these processes can be tough to articulate when it’s something you do naturally. It’s something that happened for me when I recently discovered that I would possibly be losing my job. My initial reaction was one of fear, doubt and uncertainty but thanks to this process I was able to change the way I felt and ultimately move from a place of hopelessness to a place of positive anticipation.

I mentioned recently about shifting your focus and I wanted to expand on that for this topic. Your vision of your life, your goals and purpose will directly affect the way you feel. When you choose to shift your purpose to your highest desire for you, is when you feel something extremely powerful.

When you raise your vision or vibration and let go of your outcomes something wonderful happens. You will start by feeling a sense of ecstasy within your body. You will feel exceptionally light and so stable that not even a bulldozer could knock you off balance. You will feel like you’re ready to take on the world.

1. Raise Your Vision

The first step is to raise your vision. Lets start with a clear cut example. If you were facing the prospect of losing your job, your initial reaction may be one of fear. Understandably you’d be worried about how to pay the mortgage, your bills and make ends meet. Those kinds of thoughts are totally natural. Don’t feel bad for feeling that way. That’s important because the last thing you want is to dig yourself deeper into that place of feeling low.

If that happens the first step is to start thinking on a larger scale. Feeling low often stems from small thinking. When we think on bigger scales and understand possibilities then we can start, with our vision, to enter a whole new mental state.

If you stay focussed around the region of bills and mortgages then you will never escape the gravitational pull of that state. If however you start to look at a bigger picture and think “Maybe this is the opportunity I’ve been looking for to go help children in third world nations”. Immediately you will feel the difference.

When you do this in stages and think up at each stage you’ll start to feel even more unstoppable. It’s okay to still think about the bills and money, but this part of the process redresses the balance of staying the in the same place.

If you struggle with this process of thinking up, there is very simple thing you can do which instantly change shift your vision. Are you ready for it? Go to higher ground. Yep, it’s that simple! Go to the top floor of a tall building or up a hill. Just looking at the vista from a high view point can also alter you vision and vibration. If you’re stuck, go to higher ground

2. Let Go Of Your Outcomes

I’m sure you’ve noticed it just as much as I have that something magical often happens when you let go of your outcomes. When you stop hoping for a set outcome and let the event unfold naturally, standing only as a detached observer, you will open yourself to notice other opportunities that you may otherwise blind yourself to.

If you become too fixed on one outcome and the way in which it is ‘meant’ to transpire then it shuts the door on what ‘could’ transpire, including ways that you may not have fathomed. Keep uttering the mantra to yourself of ‘no matter the outcome’. Repeat it to yourself over and over again.

It’s important to remember the ultimate ‘‘why’ of what you are doing. When you remember and understand that, and yet release your grip on it, you allow it to come to you. Have fun with this process and see how it affects the events that transpire.

Raise your vision and let go of your outcomes.

A huge thanks to oddsock for the awesome photo.

…Or at any other crucial moment!)

There we were…down 21-20 and it was my serve. It was hot! A bead of sweat trickled off my brow ridge into my eye. I flinched momentarily but stayed focussed. My serve went wide onto the line and was an ace…we went on to win the match.

Whether it be during a penalty shootout at the World Cup or match point at Wimbledon, there are times when most of us will be in a nervy situation and the outcome will be dependant on whether our nerves will hold out for that crucial moment in order to scoop victory!

The big question is of course, how can we develop nerves of steel so that we don’t crack during the moments where it really counts? How can we steady our nerves and be unaffected by minor distractions or hesitate on our split second decisions which cause those upsets?

There are 7 ways to do it so that the next time you taking a penalty for a shootout at the World Cup, putting on the eighteenth, or serving for the match at Wimbledon (or preparing to play Operation after your dinner party and you want a steady hand) you will be unaffected by the occasion and it will seem just like a practice session for you.

1. Preparation

If you don’t prepare of those situations up front then when you get there you won’t be ready. You won’t understand how to cope when it comes to real deal. Do a dress rehearsal.

2. Concentration

A skill that needs to be honed. Can you cope with noise around you or do you feel like looking around and asking people to shut up? Can you drown out the background sounds and increase the volume of your inner voice?

3. Breath

The fastest way of getting focussed is controlling your breathing. If you are shaking then stop, take a few deep breaths, and then continue.

4. Eyes

If you have an opponent, don’t be afraid to look them in the eyes. Don’t you sense the fear in the opponents that keep their eyes down? Stare you opponent dead in the eye!

5. Failure

If failure is in your mind expect to fail. Step up your thinking and focus at the task at hand.

6. Winning

Don’t get ahead of yourself and focus on winning. If you let the arrogance slip in you may have your backside handed to you on a plate. Bring it back to this moment.

7. Heart

At the crunch moment your heart will race and your success will depend on how much of your heart you put into getting that ball into the back of the net.

So, whether it be you taking the crucial penalty in a shootout, making the serve on match point, putting in the ball on the eighteenth, remember these 7 key ways to develop nerves of steel.

My latest post is up over at Live Bold And Bloom and is called A Quick Guide To Paradoxical Intention. It is a very powerful technique for overcoming some conditions and that many of us suffer from. It’s easy and simple to learn and can be used at any time. Pop over and leave your thoughts and comments and even any success stories. If you’re not sure how to apply it to your situation get in touch and we can work through it together.

Last year when I was doing the breakfast show at Westside Radio my co-host, Chloe and I decided to do a wind up on her mum. Although I used to enjoy hearing my favourite DJ’s doing a wind up I wasn’t keen to do it on my own show. In that moment though I thought why not and lets just pray her mum takes it with the humour with which it was intended.

So for a bit of Friday fun I thought I’d post the wind up here as a pod-cast you can listen to.

We had all sorts of trouble getting through to her mum. Every time we called the phone was either busy or it went to answer phone. We persisted for a whole hour and eventually we got through to her.

To set the scene I was posing as a police officer and I had arrested my co-host for a small crime. I’m one of these people who has trouble controlling their laughter and throughout the whole time I just wanted to burst out laughing! Somehow I managed to hold it together but Chloe was in the background totally losing the plot. She almost had to leave the room and especially the point where her mum said she didn’t drink milk and when I said I blamed the parents!

Press play:

After that I got a bit of a taste for the wind up and so I started calling up this call centre regularly and making strange requests. They took in good spirit but eventually they decided to start getting their own back on us at the studio and they started ringing us to do wind-ups on us. It didn’t work of course; we were way to smart for that! *ahem*

What’s the best wind up you’ve ever done or the funniest one that’s ever been done on you?

Welcome to my latest video blog on how to solve any puzzle in life. It was quite a challenge to do this video as I had to multi-task; something the male species are generally poor at!

It was difficult to focus on what I was saying as well as solve the Rubik’s cube at the same time.

Like a Rubik’s cube, all of life’s puzzles, problems and challenges can be solved by following a series of algorithms. When you remember the algorithm it can be applied multiple times to a whole host of different circumstances that you will encounter.

Enjoy the video!

Key Points

1. Once you hit the point of rational thinking i.e., you have gone beyond the blur of rage or chastising yourself, then you can being to ask the questions that matter like “how did this happen?” or “Did I do something wrong or was it a genuine error?”

2. You can then ask yourself how to get beyond what happened. How did it serve you? When you understand that then you’ll move beyond it.

3. Finally when all the pieces have come together you’ll be at point where should it ever arise again you’ll feel familiar with the steps and be at a stage of almost unconscious competence.

And Finally…

If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to solve a Rubik’s cube but have never been able to here’s a great site which shows you how, step by step.

You probably won’t get it the first few times but with practice and patience you will get there. Just keep persisting and you will get to a point where you will almost be able to do it blindfolded. After that you might even feel ready to take on the challenge of the almighty 7x7x7 cube! :-O I’m off to Ebay to try and find one!

Photo credit: mercredis