Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

“Art can be said to be – and can be used to be – the externalised map of our interior self” Peter London, No More Secondhand Art.

For about five years now I’ve been enjoying being able to see my interior self this way through coaching with art and find it especially helpful for the interior parts that don’t have words but need expression… need a voice.

“There are moments in our lives, there are moments in a day, when we seem to see beyond the usual. Such are the moments of great happiness, moments of our greatest wisdom. It is in the nature of all people to have these experiences; but in our time and under the conditions of our lives, it is only a rare few who are able to continue in the experience and find expression for it. It fills us with surprise. We marvel at it. But few are capable of holding themselves there. Intellectuality steps in and, as the song within us is of the utmost sensitiveness, it retires in the presence of the cold, material intellect. It is aristocratic and will not associate itself with the commonplace – and we fall back and become our ordinary selves.” Robert Henri, The Art Spirit

This way of ‘seeing beyond the usual’ using art, has become a priceless source of riches that I’ve come to trust and to prize. This year I’ve integrated ‘coaching with art’ into my coaching practise, offering clients the chance to also ‘see beyond the usual’ and to be guided by those insights This 10 minute short video offers a contemplative meander through some examples of the riches that can be uncovered.   http://youtu.be/coN1yDF8Voc

See what your innate wisdom has to say… if you’re intrigued get in touch

• Ask me anything
• Book a coaching with art session looking at what 2019 could hold for you
• Book a coaching with art session for anything that’s calling for your attention, and discover what your innate wisdom has to say on the subject

The post Riches to be found through coaching with art appeared first on With Integrity.

Where are you on the continuum from surviving to thriving?

If you’d like to be more thrive than survive, you’re in the right place. I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving. Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the process, let’s see how far towards thrive we can get in 6 short videos…

This week – daily practices

The practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive

• The intention to put into place things that work for you
• The daily time and space to give that attention

No push, struggle, making hard work of it, gritty determination or nerves of steel required… instead simple daily attention to what you need, to what the conditions are in which you thrive, and then attention to bringing that about. Shall we, gently, without fanfare, begin? If the conditions in which you thrive include fanfare, then of course, bring on the band : )

Last week was week five.

The qualities you bring.

 The six week programme looks like this

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it. “Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

If you could do with a gentle move towards thriving,

Gentle being the operative word.  I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required. Starting with acceptance of whatever the current situation is, without the tense energy of resistance or shame. Instead moving to having  a sense of how you would like things to be and then bringing regular attention to the new.

This is the final video in the series and it’s time for action. Shifting attention from the conditions for thriving to how to bring them about. The practices you can put in place to bring about the changes you’d like.

And do come and ask any questions or leave a comment

I’d love to hear what you’ve decided to do

More?

If you’ve enjoyed this series and would like more for your personal and leadership development – sign up in the box, at the bottom of the page for blog posts (rarely more than once a week) sent straight to your inbox.

Want even more than that?

If your interest is piqued and you want more thrive and would like some help to get going I have coaching spots available. We can plot your route to thrive. Get in touch and we can talk about what would work for you.

The post Conditions for thriving – 6th of 6 – daily practices appeared first on With Integrity.

Photo by Brian Mann on Unsplash 

Where are you on the continuum from surviving to thriving?

If you’d like to be more thrive than survive, you’re in the right place.

I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving.

Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the process, let’s see how far towards thrive we can get in 6 short videos…

This week, the qualities you particularly bring.

Do you know what they are?

Are you consciously bringing them?

They could be the active ingredient, that makes anything you do, effective.

You can browse the the needs inventory I mentioned, for qualities that you resonate with, and that could be the one/s that you bring.
I like this needs inventory from the centre for nonviolent communication, but if you search for needs inventory you’ll find others are available too.
http://www.cnvc.org/Training/needs-i…

The preferences questionaire I mentioned can be found at humanmetrics, here http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/j…

I’d love to hear your thoughts

or what you notice as you start to consider what the qualities are that you specifically bring …

come and share your thoughts in the comments

Last week was week four.

Having a sense of success in what you do.

 The six week programme looks like this

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it.

“Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

 If you could do with a gentle move towards thriving,

Gentle being the operative word.  I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required.

Starting with acceptance of whatever the current situation is, without the tense energy of resistance or shame, moving to having  a sense of how you would like things to be and then bringing regular attention to the new.

In week six we’ll be shifting attention from the conditions for thriving to how to bring them about. The practices you can put in place to bring about the changes you’d like.

See you next week for the particular qualities that you can bring to the world.

Do come and ask any questions or leave a comment

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

The post Conditions for thriving – 5th in a series of 6 – the qualities you bring appeared first on With Integrity.

Photo by Brian Mann on Unsplash 

Where are you on the continuum from surviving to thriving?

If you’d like to be more thrive than survive, you’re in the right place.

I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving.

Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the process, let’s see how far towards thrive we can get in 6 short videos…

This week – the third of John Ruskin’s three suggested things that are necessary to be happy in your work – do you have a sense of success in it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts

or what you notice as you start to consider whether you have a sense of success that isn’t reliant on what the world thinks or says about it …

come and share your thoughts in the comments

Last week was week three.

Are you doing too much of it?

The six week programme looks like this

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it.

“Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

 If you could do with a gentle move towards thriving,

Gentle being the operative word.  I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required.

Starting with acceptance of whatever the current situation is, without the tense energy of resistance or shame, moving to having  a sense of how you would like things to be and then bringing regular attention to the new.

In week six we’ll be shifting attention from the conditions for thriving to how to bring them about. The practices you can put in place to bring about the changes you’d like.

See you next week for the particular qualities that you can bring to the world.

The post Conditions for thriving – 4th in series of 6 – have a sense of success appeared first on With Integrity.

Where are you on the continuum from surviving to thriving?

If you’d like to be more thrive than survive, you’re in the right place.

I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving.

Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the process, let’s see how far towards thrive we can get in 6 short videos…

This week – the second of John Ruskin’s three suggested things that are necessary to be happy in your work – are you doing too much of it?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or what you notice as you start to consider whether you’re doing too much work  … come and share your thoughts in the comments

Last week was week two.

Are you fit for it?

The six weeks programme looks like this

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it.

“Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

 If you could do with a gentle move towards thriving,

I’d love to have you join me in the six video series to move in that direction with ease.

I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required.

Acceptance, without the tense energy of resistance or shame, of where you’re starting, with at least a sense of wanting to move somewhere and then the consistent attention to it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Are you, or were you, doing too much work?

Are you open to the possibility that you could change that?

The post Conditions for thriving – 3rd in series of 6 – we must not do too much work appeared first on With Integrity.

If you’d like to be more thrive than survive, you’re in the right place.

I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving.

Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the process, let’s see how far towards thrive we can get in 6 short videos…

Last week was week one.

What is life for anyway?

This is week two.

Looking at the first of John Ruskin’s three things he considers we need to be happy at the work we do

– are we fit for it?

The six weeks programme looks like this

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it.

“Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

 If you could do with a gentle move towards thriving,

I’d love to have you join me in the six video series to move in that direction with ease.

I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required.

Acceptance, without the tense energy of resistance or shame, of where you’re starting, with at least a sense of wanting to move somewhere and then the consistent attention to it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or what you notice as you start to consider how fit you feel for work … come and share your thoughts in the comments

Ready?

Here we go, Week Two – how fit are we for the work we do or would like to be doing

The post Conditions for thriving – 2nd in series of 6 – how fit are we for our work appeared first on With Integrity.

I’m taking a look at the conditions for thriving over the next 6 weeks – a short video each week to start moving towards thriving.

Taking it gently, without judgement and most importantly, because it’s never the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy, enjoying the walk, let’s see where we get to…

Starting today

Week one – What is life for and in what manner would you like to live it?

Then a week each on John Ruskin’s three things considered necessary to be happy in our life’s work

Week two  – you must be fit for it

Week three – you must not do too much of it

Week four – you must have a sense of success in it.

“Not a not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of others for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.”

Week five – the qualities you particularly bring and can give life to

Week six –  find and establish your own everyday practices that will build the conditions in which you thrive into your life

Could you do with a gentle move towards thriving?

I’d love to have you join me

I’ve been working with a group for over a year in this way to make significant shifts through simply bringing our attention consistently to the things we’d like to change. It’s a gentle, kind way of bringing about change. No push, struggle, determination or hard work has been required.

Acceptance, without the tense energy of resistance or shame, of where you’re starting, with at least a sense of wanting to move somewhere and then the consistent attention to it.

Ready?

Here we go, Week One

The post Conditions for thriving – walk this way appeared first on With Integrity.

Photo by Ryan Booth on Unsplash

Give Peace a Year posts are the notes from in person meetings aiming to transform the surprising levels of violence I found had crept into my everyday suburban life. I invited people to join me to Give Peace a Year. We started in February 2016 and ran for 3 years. Many surprising transformations to our stress levels, health and relationships were had. You can read the whole story of how it all began with my hair conditioner here.

We have now given peace a year!

Our group has been meeting fortnightly for a year.

For our 24th meeting we looked back over the year to see how we’d got on. The big review is complete.

Upon reflection we see that priceless things have been happening.

For which we say thank you, and  MORE please! 

We have decided to carry on and are going to give peace another year.   Give Peace a Year²

The priceless things and how the first year went

We started on the 11th February 2016 and it’s been quite a year in the world.  

We started because I’d been shocked at my hair conditioner stating it’s intention to fight signs of dryness!

I started gathering up examples of where violence or violent language had crept into our worlds without us spotting it.

Then to transform it into what it is I’d really like to have happen. Starting with my hair…  soothing, smoothing and moisturising… not fighting…better!

We’ve brought a wide variety of things to our meeting for transformation. And enjoyed ourselves hugely doing it. And the most surprising thing is the effect on things we didn’t bring to work on directly. This aim for peaceful, ‘do no harm’ ways of being has spread without any effort, to other things.

-Family situations turning out so differently from the fighting norm.

-The habitual impulse to criticise in response to criticism usually strong and biting, barely a whimper.

-No effort or hard work but simply the benign presence seemingly dissolving conflict amongst a business group.

These weren’t situations that we worked on directly at all, or even talked about but they turned out differently.

It seems that through the intention to find peaceful nonviolent ways of being, and working on specific situations, has had a wider reach than we imagined.

The qualities we have, that which we are but is often buried and not seen or felt, has been held gently and given the conditions to grow.

And now its presence is being felt.

With no efforting, no doing, it simply is there. Being.

I cannot tell you how happy I feel about that.

Sometimes when we met we were looking for ideas of how to change things, other times it’s been empathy we needed, for the shock of finding violence in what we thought was a relatively peaceful life. 

The most effective thing, as far as peacemaking goes, and most appreciated, has been having the space to think. A space where it feels safe to bring anything, even things that are distinctly not our best moment, and being heard without judgement. That acceptance, rather than ideas or suggestions for what to do, has been what brought us most peace. 

This, about light, from David Spangler of the Lorian Association for incarnational spirituality, rings true for what seems to have been happening as we have been gently giving peace a year.

“ Light does not attack or contest.

Light evokes itself within a sytem. It’s not so much that we send light to someone or someplace, as it is that we evoke through resonance their own Light or the light of that situation to emerge and to make itself known.

Light operates by changing the environment.

If I step into a dark room and switch on the light, the light doesn’t start fighting the darkness and forcing it to retreat.

The light simply is, and where it is, darkness cannot also be. Light alters the environment whether we’re talking about physical light or sacred Light.

In a strict sense there can be no warriors of Light. Rather there are light bearers, those who can bring into and evoke from a situation, potential for sacredness in expression.”

Extending this kindness towards ourselves, the space to be heard without judgement has been especially appreciated, and resulted in a growing presence of peace within us… it awakening…coming more to life.   

Stunning!

Does that feel pretty stunning to you?

It does to me…

Absolutely fan bloody tastic!

It seems that, in these instances, we are being peace.

Being peace bearers.

No-one’s looking for a sainthood or polishing their halo… it’s in small, human, day to day life situations we’ve found the increased presence of peace, and there are many, many situations where things aren’t peaceful at all.

And, that the presence of peace has grown in any way, because we gave it our attention throughout the year, we are happy. And declaring that worth it. 

The post Give Peace a Year – meeting twenty four appeared first on With Integrity.

Reports from a group meeting fortnightly for a year, this was week 22

With the aim of peace everywhere,

 starting here and now, transforming violence and conflict of needs  in life, one word, thought or deed at a time.

And because

it’s not the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy

for balance, things that warmed our hearts and made life a pleasure.

Mistake when booking tickets

Taking great care when booking train tickets and still booking the wrong date. The comments towards myself were not kind.

Empathy needed for the pain of the mistake and inconvenience of sorting it out and for the berating.

Starting with ourselves

This from Mary Mackenzie of The Nonviolent Communication Academy. It’s what we’ve been doing this year.

And the joy this time, much savouring has been had.

Pudding for breakfast

The Christmas mode that contains decadence in many ways. Brandy butter on toast for many days after Christmas until the tub was empty.  Lemon tart and cream for breakfast until it was used up.

Late afternoon DVD watching. 

Pootling. Letting things take the time they take and going at them in a really relaxed attentive way not the busy, brisk way of a normal day and enjoying the settled feeling and greater connection with things coming from that.

The post Give Peace a Year – Meeting twenty two appeared first on With Integrity.

Photo by Rose Erkul on Unsplash

One thing I’d like in the year ahead is more wisdom.

To be guided by and let the tone be set by that deeper inner source. And to make space for that to be heard.

Please and thank you for more care, compassion and equality, at home, at work, in how business is done, and online. Eegads online *shudders*

Less please of hate, fear, fake news and post truth (lies)!

It is possible for us to set the tone for the year, in our own worlds.

Even when the external circumstances are not good. I know we can do that.

What you bring, the qualities you bring to the world matter, they create the climate we live in and we need them very badly.

If you’d like to set a different tone, I’m with you.

And I think it can be intentionally created. By the likes of us. The more of us the better.

I’ve been working with a group this year, helping each other to set the tone, despite external circumstances. There’s a lot we’ve been happy with

– a board of trustees previously locked into longstanding patterns of criticism and bickering now giving most of their energy and attention to their purpose, and becoming productive with so much more ease.

– traditionally fight laden family gatherings becoming actually enjoyable with the habitual impulse to criticise reduced to barely a whisper.

-coming to trust and value intuition. Not allowing it to be dismissed and so coming to doubt it as in the past. Now I’m listening and with it informing my world there is so much more ease, creativity and flow. So much more peaceful.

This has been no Disneyfied bubble – it’s been a particularly tragic and difficult year. With frightening health worries, and early deaths of celebrities and friends, as well as all the chaos and shock of this year’s politics. On many days the external circumstances were very much setting the tone and the inner qualities buried so deeply there was real doubt that they existed or would ever surface again.

And yet… in the swirl of all that is, who we are and the qualities we bring have prevailed. The wave upon wave of tragic circumstances have not kept them buried.

They can be trusted to prevail.

And thank goodness for that.

That we have a plan, can heal the divisions and take care of things.

The intent is there. The plan, not so much.

The good news is I don’t think we need a whole plan figured out before we start.

We do need to trust that we are enough and wise

and to see that maybe what’s missing is not a plan or wisdom but the space and time to listen for it.

“Through the tending of what seems at first just a whisper, through our breathing, and then speaking from that inner source, we find the voice of what has long been known in some inward reach of the psyche, about to discover itself only as it begins to speak.”

David Whyte

My inner source has this to say about encouraging the qualities we have to bring into being

Make the space, for the truth to safely surface

for what’s really wholehearted, to be safely felt

for what’s tight in there to unfurl a little

a little, a breath, a little more

it’s ok – it really is

what is there, in there, that is what’s needed

it’s alright – truly it is

take care with it, take care of it

unfurling, the beauty, the space

it can be, you can be

breathing again, deeper now, feeling the expansion

of the space, where you can be

where you can unfurl and be seen, seen, by yourself at least

what wants to be, to be seen

what wants to be taken into the world

the world needs it 

needs it especially now

 

Pauline Esson

Could it be that what’s missing is not wisdom but the space and time to listen for it.

On reading these words, a coaching client said

“That is exactly what it’s like to work with you.”

And the group said “Oh yes, that’s what we do here”

Starting with intent, create the conditions for listening to the inner source, then the discovery begins.

Set the tone for the next year

If you like the idea of having the qualities you bring set the tone for your year ahead and think you’d like to do that

and yet can’t quite picture how that would go

or imagine you’d do a whole lot better with some support

then I have an offer that you might like.  

 I’m hoping to bring coaching within reach for anyone wondering about just how different things could be with this kind of support.

How it works

‘Setting the Tone for the Year.’

is a coaching package to support you with your potential to change the face of your year.

3 x 1 hour coaching sessions, via Zoom

We will

• make the space for listening to your inner source
• understand and set out the conditions in which you thrive
• focus on the issues or circumstances best served by the qualities that you bring.

So that you and what you bring can set the tone in your world.

This offer provides a taste and a beginning. Clients often continue to work together over the course of a year, this offer comes with the option for a further 3 sessions at the offer price of ‘what you can afford’.

If you already have an established practise of listening to and trusting your inner wisdom but there’s something else that you’d like to use the sessions for I’m open to tailoring sessions, let me know what you need.

It could be your gift to yourself, or someone else, that changes what’s possible in your New Year.

Your future self will thank you.

 – Three sessions, one per week to get started

– Sessions at 10am or 2pm GMT, Tue, Wed, or Thur

-Payment can be made by bank transfer or paypal invoice

There are 5 offer places available. If you think this could be just what you need I’d love to work with you. 

Book your place.

To book send me an email headed ‘Setting the Tone’

to pauline (at) withintegrity (dot) co (dot) uk ,  with the amount you can afford, I’ll send you available dates to choose from.  

I’m happy to answer questions or discuss anything you’re not sure of. Please do ask, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a silly question.  Email and I’ll get back to you.

The post A wisdom led year appeared first on With Integrity.