The Purple Headed Earls' Complaints Blog

Yarra City Council Complaint

2009-07-09T11:20:00.001+10:00

To whom it may concern (if anyone actually cares),

I recently received a parking ticket in the mail for a fine received in Fitzroy. Whilst I am not displeased with receiving the fine, what I am annoyed about is the councils persistence to claim I was the driver, and thus the reason for this email.

Whilst I am sure that every single person at the City of Yarra is law abiding and has never, ever been in my situation, and thus can understand that you wouldn't even know what this situation feels like, I thought I'd try and spell it out to you as I am feeling like a convict from the first fleet.

My issue stems from the fact that I am a law abiding citizen, and currently have no warrants to my name, and that I wasn't the driver of the vehicle at the time of the infringement, yet you still persist to send me fine increase after fine increase demanding that I cough up more, and more money, for an infringement that I clearly wasn't the driver for. "Did you nominate the actual driver?" I hear you vehemently ask. Well actually yes I did, TWICE, yet this doesn't seem to matter as I apparently sent the form in 15 days too late.

Unlike everyone at the Yarra City Council who have got all their friend's details at their very fingertips whenever they need them, I on the other hand had to find out who was driving my car that day and get in contact with them to find out their details. One may assume that you lot only have one friend each, and they're probably related, thus remembering their address and license number could be a hobby of yours, but us in the real world who treat people fairly have amassed several of these so called "friend" things you may hear about out there in the society. Now, since I lent my car to an actually household of friends, I then had determine which one it was driving that day. Once I did this I then found out his license details, filled in the form and sent it back to you.

The next correspondence I got was an enforcement order notice from the Magistrates Court of Victoria, which I assumed meant you a) couldn't be bothered processing my request, and b) felt it necessary to charge me more for an offence not committed by myself. It's so much fun filling the councils coffers isn't it?! I then filled out the form received from them to say AGAIN that I wasn't the driver, followed by silence again, and now followed by another correspondence "Notice of intention to issue an infringement warrant". Nice to see the consistency in that the Magistrates Court of Victoria in that they also don't listen or care.

The solution.....well apparently I have to write a letter to the registrar of appeals, and have the matter dealt with in court. One word that immediately sprang to mind SCUM. A festering vampire on the wallet of society. Revenue raising, non caring and scandalous. I hope to never be alleged of any crime and have anyone from the council on the jury. With your nonchalant approach "I don't care if he didn't commit the murder, he didn't hand his forms in on time, string him up!" will be your battle cry.

Shame on you. Shame on me for looking for a fair go from a revenue raising archaic organisation like yourselves.

Yours insincerely,

Normal Human

Is this the greatest complaint letter ever?

2009-01-30T13:16:00.003+11:00

Oliver Beale wrote this to Virgin boss, my colleague the Reverend Sir Richard Branson. In it, he used lines like:

"You don't get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it's next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That's got to be the clue hasn't it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in..."

And:

"Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's more of that Baaji (sic) custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It's mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month."

I've gotta say, it's pretty good.

Here's the full thing here.

What do you think? I gave it 5 stars myself.

3

2008-12-19T11:02:00.002+11:00

Sent this off to 3 this morning:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re: Phone number 0425 XXX XXX

I have a complaint. I presently have no service on my mobile phone for inbound calls and text messages. It has been this way for nearly two weeks. Possibly even three.

I have lost count of the number of calls that I have made regarding this matter to get it resolved, only to be met by the response that it’s because of “Network issues.”

I spoke to Nam this morning was at least a little helpful, asking me to try various different settings with my phone before giving up and referring me to one of your shops with a repair ID.

To re-iterate, I cannot receive phone calls. I’m sure that I don’t need to tell you how inconvenient this is.

Or maybe I do: It is as inconvenient as a festering pustule on my bottom. And just like that sore, it is threatening to burst forth, exploding volcanically on to everything in the near vicinity with glorious golden pus. And maybe some blood.

Please get this fixed immediately. I use my phone for work purposes, and as a consequence I have been nigh on unreachable. I will not be paying a bill for this month, and am pretty certain that I deserve a credit for the previous two months bills as well.

Please email me back if you have any queries, because you will not be able to get me on my mobile.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

Grrr.

Catholic Health Australia

2008-09-24T01:39:00.003+10:00

Disgusted.

Disgusted some more.

Thought about it.

Still disgusted. And appalled.

Complained:

Dear sir/madam,

I write to you with more than just a small degree of disgust over the blackmail stunt that you pulled today. I wish to complain about this as it is clear that you are behaving with an infantile level of dignity, decency and decorum.

Your board member Bishop Joseph Oudeman's threat to close your obstetrics wards in your Victorian member hospitals if the abortion bill successfully proceeds through state parliament is a national disgrace. Possibly even an international one. I cannot believe that you, in good conscience, would even consider resorting to blackmail to try to get this law stopped.

I can't even comprehend how you would even find blackmail to be appropriate.

All the bill requires is for doctors with a conscientious objection to abortion to refer women to doctors who do not. And yet, this isn't good enough for you: You have to enforce your concept of "life" on to the rest of us. Whether we're religious, specifically Roman catholic christians, or not.

How could you possibly do this?

All over the state, there are women who are going to need to give birth. According to stats on The Age's website, your hospitals deliver one third of them. Are you going to deny them assistance in a hissy fit over the laws, if they even become that? Law, that is?

And I read that your CEO, Martin Laverty, has stated that you will not require your doctors to comply with the law on this. This is a disgrace, and is completely irresponsible.

I can only conclude that you have the mental capacity of an eight year old who is threatening to take the bat and ball and go home if by chance he is given out. Please confirm when Mr Laverty and your board will be resigning over this matter.

Should you carry out your threat, I wish to advise that my wife and will have no alternative but to use condoms and birth control pills.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

Pwned.

The Australian Financial Review Part The Final

2008-09-15T09:25:00.002+10:00

This is Part 10.

Click here for previous parts:

9… 8... 7... 6... 5A... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

You pleased it’s all over?

Me too. Finally received this from Stuart from The Age this morning:

Thank you for your query regarding your subscription to The Financial Review. Your subscription has been extended by 8 weeks to compensate for the missed deliveries.

The contact number for any queries regarding subscriptions, deliveries or suspensions is 9604 1025 and is available 7 days from 6am. until 5pm Monday to Friday, 2.00p.m. Saturdays and 12 noon Sundays.

Regards,

[Insert The Age graphic here]

I feel kinda sad that it’s over. But I’ll probably have something new to complain about next week.

THE END.

The Australian Financial Review Part 9

2008-09-10T00:24:00.005+10:00

This is Part 9.

Click here for previous parts:

8... 7... 6... 5A... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Right. Now you're all probably getting almightily sick of this whole saga, but there is now the small issue of compensation. I'm sure that we'll get to that eventually.

The reason I'm sure of that is because yesterday, I received this in the mail. Snail mail, that is.

Which means that I have to type the whole sodding thing in:

Dear Dikkii

CONSUMER COMPLAINT (CASE NUMBER: C2008/08/017995)

Thank you for your correspondence received on 25 August 2008 with regard to your complaint concerning The Australian Financial Review.

I write to confirm that your complaint has been received. A Consumer Affairs Victoria officer will contact you further to talk to you about how we may assist. This may take up to two weeks, or longer in some circumstances, as a large number of Victorians have sought our assistance. If you require an interpreter or have any special needs, please let the officer know when you are contacted.

Consumer Affairs Victoria assesses complaints in accordance with it's Conciliation and Compliance & Enforcement policies. Copies of these policies are available on our website at www.consumer.vic.gov.au .

To avoid any further delay in having your matter dealt with, please ensure that all relevant documents in support of your complaint have been forwarded to Consumer Affairs Victoria. We will not be able to progress your complaint until we receive all supporting documentation. Please quote the reference above when sending in any additional documentation.

Consumer Affairs Victoria provides an accessible, cost-effective, practical and fair dispute resolution service for consumers. Consumer Affairs Victoria staff members have extensive experience in negotiating dispute outcomes which might avoid the need for recourse to Courts or Tribunals. However, Consumer Affairs Victoria does not have a determinative role, nor can it compel parties to participate in any conciliation process or to accept any settlement proposals that may be under consideration. If Consumer Affairs Victoria is unable to reach a mutually agreed settlement, we can provide you with information and advice about alternative avenues which you may wish to pursue to resolve your dispute.

Should you have any queries please contact us on 1300 558 181 and quote the reference number above.

Yours sincerely

Daniella Schmidt
Assessment Officer

I guess that I should be greeting this with a cheer. Instead, I fired this off to the Fin:

To whom it may concern,

I would like to thank you - and my newsagent - for my copy of The Fin, which was delivered on Saturday. I hope that this has been fixed, and look forward to my next copy.

With regards to my complaint below, there is still the matter of the previously undelivered eight weeks. Is it possible for someone to contact me to discuss some kind of arrangement?

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

And you know, even though the resulting credit that I hope to get to my account will not be as great as the $75 this blog obtained from Harvey Norman, I hope to get some satisfaction out of this. I'm not letting go just yet.

The Australian Financial Review Part 8

2008-09-07T00:47:00.003+10:00

This is Part 8.

Click here for previous parts:

7... 6... 5A... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

My copy of The Fin was delivered this morning. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Should I retract my complaint to Consumer Affairs just yet? Unsure. Certainly, I think that I'd like to know how the last eight weeks are going to be compensated for.

The Australian Financial Review Part 7

2008-09-02T23:52:00.003+10:00

This is Part 7.

Click here for previous parts:

6... 5A... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Previously, on Double The Fist...

OK. Not that exciting, but I'll keep you up to date anyway.

Sonny from The Age rang me yesterday to see where I was at with this one. After I informed him that I hadn't, in fact, received my copy of the Fin on Saturday, this is what he said:

"I think that it would be best if I filed an official complaint for you."

I nearly shat.

"Sonny," I pointed out, "I've already done that. Twice."

"OK. But if I do it, I'll be able to get the right people to speak to you."

I asked the question.

"Sonny, are you aware that I've already referred this to Consumer Affairs?"

A pause.

"No."

"You have received a forwarded copy of the email thread containing my initial complaints?"

"I might... um that is to say... there is..."

"Look. All I want is my Financial Review delivered on Saturday. Can you fix it?"

Sonny assured me that he would. Not before also assuring me that other people would be calling me. Yawn.

The time for talking is through. I want my newspaper.

The Australian Financial Review Part 6

2008-08-30T13:51:00.007+10:00

This is Part 6.

Part 5 is here. (Part 5A is here.) Part 4 is here.
Part 3 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 1 is here.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! You bastards!!!

Just stop for a moment and listen. Do you hear that? Yes, that's right. That's the sound of my Australian Financial Review weekend edition not being delivered, once more.

I can hardly wait until Consumer Affairs catch up with this lot. But just to underline the situation, I sent this off:

Dear sir/madam,

Even though I expect to hear from Sonny on Monday regarding this matter, I thought that I would let you know that this morning, just like for the preceding seven weeks, I did not get the Saturday edition of the Financial Review delivered to me.

I look forward to hearing from him on Monday.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

I'm getting extremely sick of this. Just to ensure that I get a response, I also sent this to the Fin's help desk.

The Australian Financial Review Part 5A

2008-08-28T23:49:00.003+10:00

This is Part 5A

Part 5 is here.
Part 4 is here.
Part 3 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 1 is here.

While I'm not yet in a position to post a Part 6 yet, it is interesting to note that Fairfax Media, publishers of the Australian Financial Review, The Age and the Sydney Morning Herald, has announced that it will cut 550 jobs.

First to get his marching orders was the editor of The Age, Andrew Jaspan.

Journalists have responded today by going on strike until Monday.

This blogger is, while disgusted, not going to let these issues at Fairfax sidetrack him from more important issues. Like the one about whether or not I actually get my copy of the Fin delivered on Saturday morning.

The Australian Financial Review Part 5

2008-08-25T23:24:00.004+10:00

This is Part 5.

Part 4 is here.
Part 3 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 1 is here.

Goodness! I really don't know what it is that makes some companies move when you invoke the magic words that is the name of a complaints resolution scheme.

Banks move like greased lightning when you say "Banking Ombudsman".

Telcos will say "Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir," when you say "Telecommunications Ombudsman".

And so too, in this instance, just by saying "Consumer Affairs", I've seen Fairfax go completely berzerk in responding to each and every single email I've sent since.

Take this: I only sent my last email off last night. This afternoon, I got this back:

Dear Dikkii,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I have just found your account, and we have been having trouble finding you because you have accidently [sic] been emailing the Sydney office.

Anyway - I have contacted your newsagent and spoken to them about the missing deliveries and hopefully this problem will be resolved.

I have also contacted the Melbourne office, and spoken to a fellow called Sonny. He will call you on Monday next week to ensure that you received your paper on Saturday.

The number for the Age is 03 9604 1468 should have any further queries.

Kind Regards,

Jenny Cuthbert
Customer Service Team,
subscribe@fairfax.com.au or contact us on 1800 252 525 or 13 66 66

Let's just put this in some perspective for a moment. Under "Contact Us" on the website for the Australian Financial Review, it clearly states the following:

Subscriptions
AFR newspaper subscriptions
Telephone: 1800 646 990
International: +61 2 9282 3800
Email: subscribe@fairfax.com.au
Web: http://www.afr.com/home/subscribe/

Which, if my eyesight is not failing me, is exactly where I sent my initial request.

Let's look at Jenny's response.

Fairfax owns three of Australia's biggest daily newspapers - the Fin, The Age and the Sydney Morning Herald (SMH). Whilst I'm aware that newspapers that are owned by the same owner like to remain independent from each other, it's clear from this email that the subscriber databases for the Fin, the Age and the SMH are separate operations.

This is a joke and I'm kinda glad that I'm not a shareholder. I may not be an efficiency expert, but even Blind Freddy will tell you that this is a costly exercise.

Secondly, if Fairfax haven't got the good grace to let their SMH staff know that they're also responding to queries about the Fin, then they have problems.

Lastly, as discussed ad nauseum, it's not my Age subscription that is the problem: It's my subscription to the Fin.

I wrote this in response:

Hi Jenny,

Thank you for your email. I am glad to hear that this is being rectified.

I wish to correct you on two things, however: I have NOT been "accidently [sic]... emailing the Sydney office". The Fin's website clearly states that issues relating to subscriptions and subscriber queries should be emailed to " subscribe@fairfaxmedia.com.au ". If you want emails to go to the correct address, please amend your website.

Secondly, my subscription to The Age is perfectly alright. It is the Fin that I'm not getting.

I look forward to Sonny's call on Monday.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

Unfortunately, I then realised, after I had already sent my email to them that I'd cut and pasted the wrong email address into my email, so I had to add this correction:

Hi Jenny,

I'd like to correct my previous email.

At the website - http://www.afr.com/home/contact.aspx , the email address given is subscribe@fairfax.com.au , not the one I put down in my previous email. You and Alison emailed me from subscribe@fairfaxmedia.com.au .

The email address that I quoted above ( subscribe@fairfax.com.au ) is the one that my initial and second complaints were sent to.

Please ensure that Sonny leaves a message if he is unable to contact me on Monday. I can be hard to reach on every second Monday.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

Let's see if that's the end of this - I'm not rescinding my complaint to Consumer Affairs just yet.

The Australian Financial Review Part 4

2008-08-25T00:10:00.003+10:00

This is Part 4.

Part 3 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Part 1 is here.

You'll recall that in our last exciting instalment, we made history. For the first time in the history of The Purple Headed Earls Complaints Blog, we escalated a complaint to Consumer Affairs.

Well, 24 hours is a long time, and I have now finally received a response to my complaint from Fairfax Media:

Dear Dikkii,

Thank you for your e-mail.

Unfortunately the account number that has been provided is for a Sydney Morning Herald account for another customer, not by the name of Dikkii.

I apologise for the nondelivery of the paper, If you could please provide your address details and any further information we will be able to access your account and look into and correct this problem, by crediting your account for missed deliveries and speaking with the newsagency in question. There appears to have been a lack of repsonse [sic] and communication which I again apologise for and hope that once the information is provided we will be better able to help in the matter.

Your subscription has been adjusted accordingly.

Please do not hesitate to contact us should you require further information or assistance.

Kind Regards,
Alison
Customer Service Team,
subscribe@fairfax.com.au or contact us on 1800 252 525 or 13 66 66

Another customer??? You must be kidding.

Utilising a skill I learnt somewhere when I was younger: I am holding in my left hand, while I type with my right, a copy of a confirmation and tax invoice letter that says, quite clearly that the number that I have quoted is mine.

And what is this "Your subscription has been adjusted accordingly" bullshit? They can't locate my account so how could they possibly have adjusted it?

I responded thus:

Dear Alison,

Thank you for your email. I appreciate your response on a Sunday and all, and only wish that you could have communicated this information to me earlier. If you had, we might have been in a position to fix this up before I sent my complaint to Consumer Affairs.

I have attached a scanned copy of a Confirmation and Tax Invoice letter dated 08/07/2008 which confirms my name, subscriber number, address and services provided (i.e. one annual subscription to the Fin, not the SMH).

Could you please confirm if you would prefer a different format to the .jpg file that I have sent?

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

Not going to be rescinding my complaint to Consumer Affairs just yet. I simply don't know when I'm going to be getting a response to this email, if I ever do.

The Australian Financial Review Part 3

2008-08-24T02:29:00.004+10:00

This is part 3.

Part 2 is here.

Part 1 is here.

I thought after a second complaint I'd get a response to this one. No such luck. Instead, when I went to get my newpapers again this morning, there was no @#$%ing Fin again.

So I fired this one off to them:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I write with regards to the two complaints that I have lodged over the past two weeks. I wish to thank you for your scant disregard of them, and also for the cavalier non-concern you displayed in your responses which, when I last counted, added up to precisely zero.

I would like to advise that, in addition to not receiving a copy of the Australian Financial Review again this morning for the sixth week running, I will now be referring this matter to Consumer Affairs.

Thank you once again for your time. Which wasn't any at all.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

It's now time to wheel in the big guns.

Step forward, Consumer Affairs, Victoria. Another wounded citizen needs you!

Consumer Affairs have a form-based emailer where you can type your complaints in. I went in there and typed the following under "Please explain your complaint":

I took out a full year subscription to the newspaper on 31/6/2008 and was charged for this 2/7/2008. I received one on 5/7/2008 but have not received one since (12/7/2008, 19/7/2008, 26/7/2008, 2/7/2008, 9/7/2008, 16/7/2008, 23/7/2008). I have complained each time to the newsagent who advised me the third time this happened to complain to the Australian Financial Review (AFR) directly if it happened again. Each of their previous responses amounted to, "We'll tell our driver." I complained to the AFR after it happened a fourth time. I have not received a response. I complained to the AFR after it happened a fifth time - still no response. This morning, it was, once again, not delivered, making a total of six Saturdays where it hasn't been delivered and one where it has.

Followed by this under "How do you want your problem to be solved?":

I would very much like my newspapers delivered. For the weeks where they haven't been delivered, I would like the equivalent amount credited back to me.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Reply for Harvey Norman coplaint for Kelly.

2008-08-21T14:00:00.001+10:00

From: Argiropoulos, David [mailto:David.Argiropoulos@au.domayne.com] Sent: Thursday, 21 August 2008 1:39 PMTo: Simpson, KellySubject: RE: reply to letter of complaint

Hi Kelly sorry for the delay. Just letting you know we have put a reversal of $75 against your finance to cover the delivery charge

David Argiropoulos
Franchisee
________________________________________
DOMAYNE - QV Melbourne
Furniture, Bedding & Homewares Shops 9-13 Upper Terrace QV Melbourne VIC 3000P - 03 8664 4358 F - 03 8664 4333
david.argiropoulos@au.domayne.com

The Australian Financial Review Part 2

2008-08-18T00:40:00.003+10:00

This is Part 2.

Part 1 is here.

I thought after my complaint last week, I would have had this problem sorted out with the Fin, but alas, no. Not only have I not received a response, but I bloody well didn't get one delivered AGAIN yesterday.

So of course, I had to send another one off:

Hi folks,

Last Saturday I sent you this complaint. I thought that I'd take a few moments to let you know how it's proceeding.

Normally, it would be you who'd let me know how a complaint such as this is proceeding, but this appears to be a special case. It's a special case because in the week that has gone by since I sent you my first email, it's curious to note the following:

A. I have not received a response from you confirming that you'll, at the very least, look into it; and

B. Yesterday, for the fifth (5th) Saturday in succession, I didn't receive my Saturday edition of The Fin.

So please consider my second complaint. The substance of this complaint is as follows:

1. I still, to date, have not received a response to my original complaint (below) which I emailed to you last Saturday, 9 August 2008.

2. I have a fully paid annual subscription to the Saturday edition of the Fin, which I took out just before the end of the financial year for which I have only received one (1) of the six (6) which I should have received under our agreement.

3. Yesterday, I did not, and I'll repeat that, I did not receive a copy of the aforementioned newspaper delivered to me for the fifth week in succession.

We have complained to the newsagent. They have, yet again, advised me that they will tell their driver. They have, however, once again suggested that I complain to you. I did this last week, and have not yet received a response.

So I wish to advise that I would like, at the very least, a response to this email by close of business Tuesday. I believe that two (2) working days is ample.

In addition, I would like you to confirm that it has been made crystal clear to my local newsagent that my Saturday Fin is to be delivered, every Saturday, as described in my Confirmation and Tax Invoice letter from you dated 8 July 2008.

Finally, I would like to discuss with someone there about either extending my current subscription by five (5) weeks at absolutely no (0) cost to me, or getting a credit or refund for these weeks.

If you have any queries at all about this, please read my initial email below, and then feel free to email me or call me on 04XX XXX XXX.

The ball is in your court, and has been for over a week.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

The clock is now ticking.

Posted for Cameron

2008-08-13T15:34:00.000+10:00

Quick email to The Age online.

There is a small button that allows you to send new tips. So I did.

Tip Number 1: Find someone interesting to write Catherine Deveny’s column. Honestly it’s like watching re-runs of Burke’s Back Yard. BORING! Her opinions are about as relevant as a Hawiian tee shirt. Please, for the love of writers everywhere give someone else a go. Someone who is appealing, witty and purhaps semi attractive.

Regards,

Cameron Davidson

The Australian Financial Review

2008-08-10T01:34:00.005+10:00

The Fin. They write great stuff about business. But if they can't sort out issues with their distribution network, then the message is clearly not sinking in.

Here's one I just fired off today:

Hi folks,

I have a complaint.

About a little over a month ago, I took out a new subscription to the weekend edition of the Australian Financial Review. It was a subscription for a year.

I got one delivered, and I thought "This is great. No longer do I have to traipse down to the local newsagent to get my Saturday newspapers."

But then, they stopped. No word from anywhere as to why.

The first weekend that this happened, I went to the local newsagent and informed them that I didn't get the Fin that morning. "Thank you for telling us," the girl behind the counter said, "I will inform our driver." I thought that would be the end of it.

Alas no. The following weekend, I received my copy of The Age, but no copy of the Fin was forthcoming. I set off to the newsagent again to inform them. "Thanks for that, and our apologies," said the girl behind the counter, "I will inform our driver."

And surely after two missed Saturdays, I thought that would be the end of that.

I was sadly mistaken. I went to retrieve my newspapers on the following Saturday morning to find that there were, yet again, only two rolled up packages waiting for me. Yes, you guessed it: Once again, only The Age had been delivered, and not the Fin. I had business elsewhere, that day, and so my wife went off to the newsagent to inform them about non-delivery. Once again, she was informed that they would inform their driver, and that would be the end of the issue.

And she was, just like me, misinformed. The next week, when I went down to complain, once again, the girl at the newsagent showed great initiative this time by not discussing the driver. Instead, she suggested that if it happened again, we should write to you.

So it was with great anger that I strode down my driveway in my pyjamas to get my newspaper, only to find that the Fin had, once again, not been delivered.

Folks, this is a disgrace. I want my weekend Fin delivered on Saturday mornings, and the newsagent is clearly not getting the message that I have a valid subscription. And I do not want to be having to go down to the newsagent every Saturday to retrieve a newspaper that should have been delivered that morning.

Please confirm that you will fix this immediately. If I do not get a Fin next week, I will not be visiting the newsagent to complain, I will be visiting you.

And I want this weekend's edition sent to me immediately. The weekend edition is quality reading that doesn't just contain news.

Yours sincerely,

Dikkii.

All I want is the Fin delivered on a Saturday morning. Is this too much to ask?

Harvey Norman complaint written for work collegue

2008-08-07T14:08:00.000+10:00

To Whom It May Concern:

Go Harvey Norman Go! The light is green! Hello?? Harvey? Norman? Anyone? If anyone is listening or has the most basic of literary skills, this is the second time I have attempted to contact you in the faint glimmer of hope of a response. So, let me return to start of the situation and then move on to the comedy of errors and deplorable customer service thereafter.
My experience began on the 23rd of May at your Melbourne City outlet. Being armed with what I thought was the knowledge of you being a reputable organisation or franchise, whichever suits; I entered and ordered a couch/sofa/lounge, whatever suits, once again. Upon embarking on this epic, which it has now manifested itself into; I was assured by one of your representatives that the delivery timeframe would be 4-6 weeks. Understandable. Unfortunately, my item had not been delivered at the beginning of July so I decided to contact the store to get an update on the situation and a possible ETA. I was then advised that I would have to be contacted back. Understandable once again. This is the point where the real fun began.
Two days went by and we had not received a call. Great work. As you will have already guessed I was forced to call a second time. This particular instance I managed to speak to a person by the name of Paul who was my original sales person. After enquiring about the ETA of my item, Paul advised that there was a delay from the suppliers end and the delivery time would be another two weeks. Needless to say with the lack of communication and basic customer service at this point I was not a happy camper to say the least but I am a fair person and do understand that problems similar to this do occur from time to time.
However, after spending another four weeks sitting on a mattress in my lounge room where my non existent couch is supposed to reside and no correspondence between myself and your relevant department, my patience and understanding had fallen to a most inauspicious level. Therefore I again, AS THE CUSTOMER, was obliged to contact you find out what is or is not happening with the delivery. And here I was, thinking it was your job to do that. Silly me. This occurrence was on the 30th of July where I was lucky enough, or so I believed at the time, to speak with the sales manager by the name of Lee. May I just stop at this point and enquire what Lee is required to do as a sales manager? If he could have been more unhelpful and there was an event for this at the Beijing Olympics, he would be going home with the gold. If the sales manager is this incompetent and has such woeful customer service skills, it is not startling to discover that this is passed down through his department like an old footy jumper.
The next stage, when you could not even imagine it getting any worse, Paul managed to learn how to use the phone; 1 bonus point for him, and advised me that there was an “error”. The error I refer to was that somehow my couch had been sent to the Sydney warehouse and wouldn’t arrive here for yet another week. Bonus point deducted. And just when you thought I had finished, Paul advised he would contact me on the 5th of August to confirm the delivery date. Here’s a shock, HE DIDN”T!
If this entire debacle is not enough, the only compensation I have been offered is a $50 voucher. This is grossly inadequate and insults my intelligence. To add insult to injury, pardon the cliché, I decided to write a letter of complaint which no one has replied to of course, hence this displeasing jumble of words.
In conclusion, with all the “errors” and blatant lack of necessary customer service you require operating a business such as yours, the $50 voucher and non reply to my complaint is nothing short of a slap in the face. In direct accordance with this fiasco, I will not be doing business with your organisation ever again unless something is done by YOU, not me, as I have done everything else, to rectify this situation with the amount of compensation and customer service it truly deserves. Once again, if you did not get it the first time, which has become a pattern, a $50 voucher and no reply to a complaint, on top of everything else, is cringe worthy. It is quite distasteful, but in any sense, if this is not responded to, I WILL take this matter further.

Yours begrudgingly,

Kelly Simpson.

Posted for Camerom-Another Connex complaint

2008-07-17T10:10:00.001+10:00

To whomever,

I wanted to provide some feedback on the pathetic situation I was faced with this morning.

Upon arriving on time at Surrey Hills Station this morning to catch the 7.37 express train I was confronted when walking up the ramp to the platform by about 20 people trying to use the validating machine. I walked past the group only to find that the only other validating machine was not working.

Rejoining the queue the train arrived, and due to the fact that I could not validate my ticket in time to catch the train I missed it and thus got to work late. This is where my issues lie!

1 – Why the hell does a station like Surrey Hills, which is one of the last zone one stations and has a car park that supports about 200 cars only have 2, yes that’s right 2 validating machines?! The same amount as Hawthorn that has a car park that supports 10 cars Surely Connex isn’t doing so badly in revenue that you can’t even afford validating machines so that normal paying customers can do the right thing and validate the tickets they bought!

Perhaps you should invest money in keeping your machines operational rather than investing in millions of dollars in “fare evasion” advertising. Or have you just invested in technology that was outdated 20 years ago. The fact that when purchasing a ticket from a machine the machine a) doesn’t accept a credit card even though there is a button for it on the console b) when buying a ticket with an EFTPOS card the machine takes longer that an espresso machine to make a coffee to spit the ticket out, and c) the machine can’t even work out change of more than $20. It’s absolutely pathetic!

I really wish I had something good happen to me on public transport so I could email positive feedback. The fact that on a daily basis I arrive at work angry and frustrated that such a simple process as catch a train can be made so painful that I would consider just paying the $75 per week to drive in myself and wreck the environment for future generations.

Get back to me as these things are really grating on my happy demeanour.

Cameron Davidson

Herald-Sun Disgrace

2008-07-10T16:43:00.002+10:00

Posted to Herald-Sun feedback

I don't think there is a strong enough word I can use that will accurately show my disgust at the Herald-Sun, its editor and anyone else who was involved in Thursday’s issue on the 10/07/08.
According to the Herald-Sun, it would seem, they hold the Olympics as a more important and newsworthy issue than the war in Afghanistan and Jana F#cking Rawlinson above the brave SAS digger who’s name you did not even mention on the front page.
Your headline reads, in case your moral and ethical standards temporarily blinded you: “Jana Out”, “Injury shatters champion’s Beijing Olympic dream”. To top it off, you plastered a picture of her sorry ass face draped in an Australian flag over two thirds of the page with an article underneath stating how heartbroken, numb and shattered she is. Did anyone, and I do mean ANYONE, give one seconds thought as to how the family and friends of Sean McCarthy (he is the digger that got blasted to pieces in case you didn’t hear due to Jana’s whinging) may feel? Did anyone consider they might be heartbroken, shattered and numb at the loss of their loved one?
Clearly that is a rhetorical question as we can all plainly see you did not. To have Jana draped in an aussie flag directly above shadowing a digger who has been KILLED defending our right to freedom and peace, was an even greater testament to your callousness.
Let me be the first to say, what an absolute f#cking disgrace and insult to Sean’s family and friends. Not to mention the rest of us. May I ask whose idea and decision it was? Was it the editor’s? Was it Jana’s? Or a collaboration between the two. Neither of these would surprise me as the all the editor cares about is making himself look good by selling papers and all that Jana cares about is herself.
Good to see our fallen digger made it to page three though along with tiny pictures of the other five brave souls who have given their lives serving this country on the ultimate platform. Unfortunately written words will not accurately portray my sarcasm in case you did not pick it up.
To follow it up, if that was not enough, on page four you continued by giving Jana more space to whinge and cry. First was her blatant arrogance in stating that, and I quote, “If the Olympics had of been last year, I would have been Olympic champion now. But it is not and that is fate. That’s sport”. And to follow, “I’m trying to remain positive and I’m looking beyond the Olympics to other challenges”.
For starters, it truly amazes me how one can assume that they will be world champion without even competing. The sheer arrogance and over confidence of this girl is astounding to say the least not to mention her talking about fate and looking beyond the Olympics to other challenges. How about the fate of Sean McCarthy? And if she wants a challenge, how about going to Afghanistan or Iraq and trying to come back alive? But I guess her sore toe and an accolade for sport is more important than the loss of a life, family member and friend.
In any event, it was a complete slap in the face towards Sean McCarthy, his family and friends and the armed forces who are risking their lives everyday for the sake of a better world. But hey, who cares? Lets just all go out and grab a box of tissues, take them around to poor little Jana’s place, dry her eyes, be a good listener while she whinges, embrace her selfishness and give her toe a massage in the sheer hope that we can get her back on her feet so she wins us aussies a gold medal in four years. I wonder how many more of our diggers will no longer be with us then.

An open letter to artists everywhere (reposted)

2008-06-18T01:07:00.000+10:00

I originally posted this at my other blog. Although it wasn't sent to anyone in particular, it qualifies as a complaint.

Enjoy.

Oh man, this could be controversial. I risk being misunderstood, but, well, that's art for you.

Dear artists.

I've been reading avidly in the media about the Bill Henson affair, and realised that I don't like you very much.

Henson, I'm sure that you recall, may be charged with certain crimes for taking nude photos of young children and attempting to profit from them. Some people might call this porn, but Henson, and some of you, appear to think that because Henson did this as art, it's fully justified.

Personally, I'm staggered at the disingenuity of your assertion that Henson's photo's can be defended on the grounds of "art" or "culture", when you had a veritable arsenal of stuff that you could have used to defend this. Freedom of expression is one. Realism is another, given the fact that 13 year old girls are occasionally nude.

So strange as it may seem, you went and chose the one excuse that really shits me about art and artists, and the weakest and least defensible of the whole lot: Anything done in the name of "art" is apparently OK all round as far as you lot are concerned.

You are a pack of complete fucking idiots.

What's more, you are a fraudulent pack of complete fucking idiots. You're quite happy to defend Henson, because he seems to be well connected amongst the tortured artistic milieu. Yet for years, photographers in the porn trade have been ridiculed by you lot, mainly because they lack the airs and graces that define your artistic stereotype, which you only seem too keen to conform to.

And what's more, I'd say that there is someone busted for kiddie porn once every couple of months and sent to gaol in this state alone. When was the last time you defended their art? You disgusting hypocrites.

You defend Henson, because you contend that "art" was his intention. You complete bunch of nob ends.

It's quite possible that art was his intention. But so what? Society's laws and values, sadly in my opinion, aren't based upon intentions, with the exception of some. Like the ones in this case that mean that Henson probably will escape prosecution. Yet I don't see you campaigning to see other laws brought into line.

In France, a trader is awaiting charges based purely on the consequences, not the intentions of his actions. Where were you during this, eh? When did you speak out against his charges?

Thanks to you, we're now likely to get a barrage of kiddie porn thrown at us under the guise of "art". It doesn't take a genius to see that any porn photographer wanting to profit from exploiting nude kiddies will now just throw up a gallery somewhere and stick up their photos which might not only involve kiddies nude, but possibly "doing stuff" as well. Fuck you.

It goes further than that. I heard not long ago about people having their cameras confiscated on Australia's most famous beach, merely because they might have been photographing chicks in bikinis. I didn't hear a single one of you complain about this. Maybe if they'd uttered the word, "art" they would have been able to keep their cameras. You sanctimonious morons.

What, you don't like my "thin edge of the wedge" argument? Well, why the hell are some of you content to trot it out then? I watched the news tonight, and I saw some of you complaining about the potential for increased censorship across the board as a result of this.

Yet none of you complain about existing censorship regarding porn. For that is what Henson's art is.

I have to laugh, whenever I hear some of the lame excuses trotted out by you lot. So the children's parents consented. So what?

Ms Jones, I like your work. You paint nice. And your 15 year old daughter would be considered technically nubile in some cultures, but not here. So why are you defending Henson's work on the parental consent line? Didn't you tell me that you recently told your daughter to stop pleading with you to allow her to have sex with the young brickie next door who she's been flirting with outrageously? Why won't YOU provide consent? Because you can't legally?

Well then, Ms Jones. Why aren't you campaigning to have the laws changed so that you can? After all, you're happy to defend the parental consent line in Henson's case.

"But it's not sex," you say. So what, Ms Jones? You're still being inconsistent.

OK, so I made this scenario up. Let's call it "art" and that'll make it alright. I hate that. Why can't I just be an exaggerating idiot? Is there something wrong with calling something what it is? Why do Henson's nudie shots of 13 year old girls cease to be exactly that when they're called "art"?

Well fuck you, artists.

I hate the fact that you expect government grants and complain about businesses being provided with tax concessions.

I hate the fact that you hate intellectual property laws except where it's your copyright over your work.

I hate where you resort to defending bad taste, mistakes and half-baked concepts as "art", yet criticise fellow artists when they dare to do stuff that's entertaining.

I hate the fact that you sell your stuff in galleries for outrageous prices, yet criticise anyone deemed to have "sold out".

I hate the fact that you're so fluid with your definitions on what "selling out" actually involves.

I hate the way that you insist on being branded as "eccentric" and have the nerve to criticise anyone for pointless pigeonholing.

I hate the tortured artist thing with an absolute passion.

I hate public arts funding, and wish it would stop. I hate the way that our national broadcaster insists on foisting arts programmes on to the rest of us.

I hate the way that you believe that it's your right to profit from a hobby.

I hate most of your work.

I hate myself for liking quite a lot of your work.

I hate the fact that you're all so fucking hypocritical.

I hate the way that because I'm a musician and writer, this makes me one of you and therefore just as hypocritical as the rest of you.

And I hate the word "art". Seriously, it should be fucking well banned. The vast number of the rest of us do not want to hear you claiming that your latest unentertaining installation of questionable merit is good merely because it's "art".

Put jam on it and jam it up your arse.

Dikkii.

PS: I'm not deliberately being ironic - I know that this technically qualifies as art. Fuck you.

Believe it or not, people wonder why I get so frustrated with the term "art". I don't think that this is going to make it any clearer.

My Two Cents About Connex - Posted for Cam

2008-04-18T13:09:00.000+10:00

I thought I'd also throw my two cents worth in with the latest incident that has occurred with Connex officers bashing a passenger.

What does one expect if you hire staff that have delusions of grandeur?! Not once have I ever been spoken to by a Connex officer in a polite manner, and I don't expect to now that you've hired a pack of thugs, who probably didn’t even complete basic education. Just because you wear a trench coat and have a plastic badge doesn't give you the right to take the law into your own hands like your auditioning for the show COPS. Surely by hanging around in packs of 3-5 is patronising enough without the need to wear army boots and other apparel likened to a battlefield. Perhaps you’ve forgotten who pays their wages…

Can Connex do anything right this year?.....I really doubt it. Soon I’ll have to wear a flak jacket and battle armour to get to work unharmed.

Yarra Bend Golf club and no refund policy

2008-04-07T17:01:00.001+10:00

Not a particlarly harsh complaint but a worthy cause. This is one I really do want to work!!!

To whom it may concern,

I have enjoyed your golf course for a number of years now and have just recently played a round there with a couple of associates. The date I played was Sunday the 6th of April. I called initially on the Friday to book in and was advised that you required payment by close of business the next day which I thought was fair enough.
When asked how many would be playing I stated that it should be a foursome but possibly three as I was having difficulty contacting one person to confirm. The clerk then advised me that I could just book for three and if the fourth was to join us that all would be fine and he would be able to tee off with us. At that particular point in time I was almost completely sure that we would have a foursome, so to avoid any trouble, I decided to book for four.
Before close of business on Saturday I called and made the payment for all four and also managed to get an earlier tee off time due to others cancelling which was great. Unfortunately though, one of our group fell ill the night before and was unable to join us for the round and we had little or no time to offer his spot to anyone else. Either way, the three of us left were still happy to play our round and we proceeded to the course.
However, upon arriving and informing you that we only had three it was made known to us that the green fee for the fourth would not be returned. I find this extremely hard to swallow. I do not see why we should have to pay and extra $25 for nothing!!! I also do not see why this was never mentioned when I initially booked? Had I have known I would never have agreed to book for that many just in case something went wrong, as it did. Further more, when asking for the refund, the clerk advised me that to get it returned, we had to give them one days notice. This was a completely ridiculous statement due to the fact that it was impossible for us to do that as the fourth in our group pulled out that morning. Needless to say, our hands were tied.
I find this extremely unfair, not to mention a rip off and excessively bad customer service. I cannot see myself (or my golfing partners) playing at this course ever again simply due to this situation. It does not make sense to me why this should be occurring. I would be more understanding if all of us pulled out and you did not refund or gave us a cancellation fee, but for one person out of our group? Come on. And again, if we had of been advised of this I would simply have booked for three.
As a result, my friends and I have had to wear the extra cost and due to this inauspicious situation, played a round of golf which was not very enjoyable. As I stated before, I will not be frequenting your course any longer unless something is done to rectify this problem as I believe it is grossly unfair and a shocking way to treat your customers.
Any type of response to this would be greatly appreciated.

Yours regrettably,
Ross Hughes.

Gloria Jeans and Mercy Ministries part 3

2008-04-07T01:24:00.003+10:00

This is part 3.

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

So this is a final response to Gloria Jeans. I don't expect a response back - Jean's have already indicated that they're not going to move on this.

I was absolutely mystified by the repeated Hillsong references - while I already know the nature of their Hillsong links (their founders Nabi Saleh and Peter Irvine are prominent members of this church and Saleh appears as a listed Elder on their website) it wasn't what I was complaining about.

Having said that, it wasn't beneath me to bag Hillsong in my email.

Dear Dianne,

Thank you for replying to my email.

I must admit to some confusion reading your email, and some anger as well, as it did appear to me that you cut and pasted a standard prepared statement that had minimal relevance to the email that I originally sent.

For example, you initially started by referring to Hillsong Church, which I did not refer to in my email. I should perhaps clarify that I am happy with Gloria Jean's statements up to this point regarding links, or lack thereof to Hillsong. I should further remind you that Hillsong was not the subject of my email - Mercy Ministries was.

The rest of your email appeared to be irrelevant guff, referring only obliquely to the points that I raised about your sponsorship arrangement with Mercy Ministries.

Somewhat strangely, you referred me back to the media statement made by Mercy Ministries which I will remind you, made me quite angry due to the fact that it, and I'll quote myself here, "doesn’t even contain a shred of sympathy for the women in question, nor does it suggest any action that the centre will take to ensure that such mistreatment doesn’t happen again."

Part way through this, you point out that you will only take action after due diligence has been undertaken. Dianne, organisations such as Bunnings, Rebel Sport and LG Electronics promptly cut off the organisation the next day after the allegations surfaced, and while everyone is entitled to a presumption of innocence, the fact that so many organisations have terminated their sponsorship arrangements suggests that your due diligence process is either deficient, or wilfully ignorant. Indeed, the loss of corporate sponsors appears so embarrassing for Mercy Ministries that they have deleted all mention of who their sponsors are from their website.

Then for no apparent reason, you mention Hillsong Church again, once again denying links with this church.

I'm reminded of a popular misquote from William Shakespeare's play, Hamlet, "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." I don't mean to sound blunt but I don't really care what kind of (non-)relationship you have with Hillsong Church, although for some reason, Hillsong reminds me of the goings on in a Californian church called Peoples' Temple, before their leader, Rev Jim Jones packed everyone up and moved to Guyana in South America. I'm sure that you don't need me to remind you how successful that turned out to be.

If I might quote you from the end of the email:

"The religious affiliation of our management, staff, Franchise Partners, charity partners has absolutely no relevance to how we operate our company."

If this is truly the case, then you will have absolutely no problems terminating your sposorship arrangement with Mercy Ministries forthwith. I expect that this is all talk but this much is clear: the ball is firmly in your court.

I would like to add to my initial complaint that I am unhappy that you chose to respond to my initial complaint with a prepared media statement bearing minimal relevance to my listed queries.

Yours sincerely, Dikkii.

So I'm going to completely avoid Jean's for my coffee requirements. I think you'll agree that I'm fully justified.

Gloria Jeans and Mercy Ministries part 2

2008-04-04T18:14:00.004+11:00

This is part 2.

Part 1 is here.

I received a response to my complaint to Gloria Jeans. It's maddening to note that it's a standard response by numbers press release type thing that doesn't even address the points that I raised or the question that I was after an answer to.

I'll type a response a little later on. In the meantime, here is ~~Hillsong's~~ sorry, Gloria Jean's response:

Dear Dikkii,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We are deeply concerned with the recent media coverage related to our sponsorship of Mercy Ministries and association with the Hillsong Church and feel it is not reflective of what our business is all about.

Gloria Jean’s Coffees is a company built on family and community values with the vision: “To be the most loved and respected coffee company in the World.”

Our responsibility is to our Franchise Partners and our guests.

We are not religiously affiliated, or affiliated to any other beliefs or preferences. We are non-discriminatory and accept staff, franchise partners and guests from all walks of life.

We believe as a truly responsible corporate citizen, that we should have a positive impact on the communities from were we source our coffee and the communities we serve. Our values include: “Belief in people, building and changing lives”.

Our sponsorship of many international and local charities including Mercy Ministries is based on giving back to the communities who have helped us become the brand we are today, there are no hidden agendas.

We assessed Mercy Ministries along with many other potential charity partners several years ago now and found that their work transforming the lives of young women in crisis was a good fit with our vision, mission and values.

Our corporate donations amount to approximately $150,000 – $170,000 per annum plus the donations made by the public through the money boxes in stores.

Since then we have seen many young women’s lives transformed for the better. We have regularly visited Mercy Ministries homes to meet with the residents.

All our Franchise Partners in Australia have the opportunity to do this as well as all our Master Franchise Partners from the 29 other countries in which we serve coffee. We have several Mercy Ministries graduates working in and making a positive contribution to Gloria Jean’s Coffees both in our stores and support office.

We have been in direct discussion with Mercy Ministries and we will be working with them to understand what elements of their program could have given rise to these very concerning claims. We would encourage any member of the public that is concerned to review their response to these allegations on their website at www.mercyministries.com.au

Many of the issues facing these young women are not easily fixed. While the vast majority of young women succeed in the program, there are those few for which this program is not the answer. Clearly they have the right to give their views.

We believe this however should not outweigh the positive impact Mercy Ministries has had on the lives of many young women. By removing our sponsorship without due diligence, we would be removing our support for the many young women dealing with eating disorders, unplanned pregnancies, abuse and other life controlling issues that are in desperate need for help to turn their lives around.

We have no relationship with the Hillsong Church. Gloria Jean’s Coffees is an Australian-owned private company and there are no financial or legal ties between Gloria Jean’s Coffees and Hillsong Church. This remains unchanged.

The religious affiliation of our management, staff, Franchise Partners, charity partners has absolutely no relevance to how we operate our company. Our responsibility is to our Franchise Partners, our guests and the quality of our coffee.

Thank you for your concern, we really do take your thoughts & feelings to heart in trying to ensure we serve you in the best way possible and in our journey to become the most loved & respected coffee house worldwide.

Yours faithfully,

Dianne Baise Guest
Relations Officer

Gloria Jean’s Coffees

I may even blaze away at them with a fisking, but I'm undecided, yet.